A co-worker just explained this game to me. Apparently the player gets to create a life form and watch it evolve from a single-cell organism, basically, into some sort of creature. The idea, apparently, is to see if there is some sort of divine intervention that has a hand in the creature’s evolution. So, not only does the music offend Muslims, the concept of the game offends creationists.

...yeah. She might be talking about Spore there.

Now you might say, "But that's just a tiny blog no one reads!", but it's a little blog that shows up when I type 'LittleBigPlanet' in Google News, so somebody out there thinks it's important, and now a number of somebodies out there think LittleBigPlanet is about evolution. Lovely.

PlayStation 3 game offends Muslims, creationists [Republican American Blogs]

"I planned on hitting the wall, but I didn't plan on the wall slowing me down that much," Edwards said. "In video games, you can just run into the wall and run it wide open. That's what I did, but it didn't quite work out the same as the video game."

*rubs temples* Oh my head. How are we supposed to keep our children from setting people on fire when their role-models decide that driving at top speeds on a crowded raceway is a good time to see how accurate the physics in GRID are?

Johnson wins, Edwards hits wall on purpose [HamptonRoads.com]

As for motive, Savino told troopers this was his own video game adventure. "I don't know whether he was trying to act out a scene in a video game or what he was trying to do, but he said it always worked for him in video games," Roden said.

OK, gang, so what exactly was he trying to emulate? And since this dumbass seems hellbent on removing himself from the gene pool, what's the next thing he should try?

High-Speed Chase and Crash Caught on Tape [KSL-TV]

Introduced in 2004, the Nintendo DS (for Dual Screen or Devil Screen), this game machine has sold some 700 million or so units. That's an epidemic. It's undeniable that it has been a "success" for its Japanese manufacturer, Nintendo (makers of Donkey Kong aka Monkey Donkey, a game in which a monkey kidnaps a young girl to satisfy his bestial desires). It's also been a tremendous success for pedophiles everywhere.

In retrospect, I would have bought my DS even sooner had it actually stood for Devil Screen, and I was in line the day before the first model came out. The writer seems to have a lot of repressed sexual feelings stirring in their loins, as evidenced by the 'satisfy his bestial desires' bit.

The article then goes on to present a completely made up story as a matter of fact.

I have been notified by one parent whose child was solicited to "come to the mall and we can go shopping and do other fun stuff. Don't tell your mom because she might spoil our fun. Parents are such a drag. LOL." Fortunately her parent was watching Susie (a pseudonym) that day, as all parents should, and reacted the way any good, loving, responsible parent would. She deftly ripped the offending device out of her hands, sent the reply "stay away from my baby, you psycho" and triumphantly snapped the unit in half. Nintendo TP (two pieces). It's garbage now.

Perhaps the writer is trying to create a fictional role model for parents to look up to. After all, Betty Crocker wasn't real but she is the champion of baked goods that come in boxes and tubs of frosting, so I suppose Susie could be the champion of symbolically tearing child molesters in half to keep them away from her baby, you psycho.

To round out the article, the writer dredges up the old PlayStation Pornable video from ages past, in which the mainstream media warns us that there are dirty pictures on the internet, no matter how small the screen is. As icing on the cake, they throw in a video of JT talking about Grand Theft Auto.

With supporters like these it is no wonder than Sam Brownback is pulling out of the running for Republican presidential candidate. Either there are too many sensible people who would never support him in a million years just to avoid association with these idiots, or the man realized that being a presidential candidate representing people like this would only encourage them.

Early Christmas Alert: Nintendo DS [Blogs 4 Brownback via Game Politics]

This makes me wonder if the catastrophic injury to Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett will make any real impression on the desensitized adolescents and adults raised with the cartoon violence of "Madden '08" or "NFL Blitz," or the absurd blood-and-guts scenarios associated with other Xbox games.

He also wrote, "I crushed a dude's eye socket from repeatedly punching him in it, then I charged him with menacing and harassment (of me)." Trafalgar then added, "he took a plea to get away from me. He shoulda picked somebody else to try and fight."

A great deal of what Thompson has stated in the offending posts could be simple internet bravado, though the case of the eye-punching has been corroborated by police officials as an actual event involving a prisoner named David Michael Baker who wound up pleading guilty to attempted assault of a police officer.

Sheriff Bernie Giusto has launched a probe into the forum posts and related incidents, and if the police department doesn't discipline Thompson, Department of Public Safety Standards and Training director John Minnis is waiting in the wings.

Based on a reporter's characterization of Trafalgar's posts, Minnis said, "it sounds similar to other cases we have reviewed and successfully prosecuted (for law-enforcement decertification)."

Jail worker investigated [Portland Tribune via Game Politics]

Due to overwhelming interest in the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer Beta, we will no longer be accepting entry into the program on a first come, first serve basis. To ensure everyone has a fair shot at getting in, the Beta Registration System has been reopened, and will remain open for the next 24 hours. Click "BETA" to enter Beta HQ and select "ENTER NOW." We will collect names until 7pm PST tomorrow, Tuesday August 28th, after which we will randomly select names for entry into the Beta.

The Nut Cases were apparently the theme restaurant of street gangs, getting stoned and then acting out crimes from their favorite video game. Over the course of their rampage they murdered five people, tarnishing the good name of gamers as well as Mr. Peanut, their highly unofficial mascot.

In February of 2006 Game Politics reported that Demarcus Ralls, Colbert's half-brother, confessed to five killings and twenty-three robberies and was given four consecutive life sentences.

Good luck in prison Colbert. Watch out for that Hot Coffee minigame. I hear it's a bitch. Michael Fahey

Alleged founder of Nut Cases gang sentenced for killing [San Francisco Chronicle, via Game Politics]

On the fence about what new-gen system to buy? Let YouTube contributer "chadwardenn" help you! In his video "Why PS3 is better than the Wii and 360" he touches on the main reasons why you should really buy a PLAYSTATION 3. Key points? The Wii remote looks like a dildo. The Xbox 360 has no games. "Gears of War? More like Tears of War!" Oh shiiiiiii... And Halo 3? "More like Gay-lo 3!" Can't argue with that kind of logic.

But what about the price point? Six hundred dollars ain't shit to chadwardenn!

Warning: this video will hurt your brain and contains all sorts of potty mouthing. Do not watch unless you're willing to drop a few IQ points. Sadly, found on NeoGAF. Michael McWhertor

Until police found their digital camera, still on the scene, filled with pictures of them committing the crime. Bloody brilliant. Said Lord British,

"We we're joking to ourselves about tomorrow morning, when they wake up with a hangover, they're going to wonder where that camera is," he said. "This is one of those Darwin-style kind of awards, where people leave the self-incriminating evidence behind at the scene."

Digital camera left at scene of crime [KVUE Austin - Thanks Chef Booyadee!]

In the course of reporting on the PlayStation 3 launch in Europe as "Europe at War", Uk Resistance uncovered a very interesting sign posted at the Bluewater Centre branch of popular UK video game store GAME. With the PS3 launch looming on the horizon, someone at the store posted a sign comparing the PS3 favorably against the Xbox 360.

The sign carries the title "To 3 or Not to 3? This is the answer..." and lists several 'facts' that make the Sony system seem more appealing. They pull out the old price argument of course, saying that the PS3 comes with HD movie support and online is free, so it is actually cheaper than the 360. They fail to point out that you still need to buy a headset as well as at least component cables, but somehow I don't think accuracy was a goal when this ad was written up.

They also mention that the PS3 is fully backwards compatible with all PS1 and PS2 games. Oh really?

GamesIndustry.biz reports that the sign was completely unauthorized and has since been removed from the store. Hit the link below for a larger version of the sign and UK Resistance's full coverage of Europe at War. Michael Fahey

EUROPE AT WAR: BLUEWATER GAME RESORTS TO 'THE OLD SUM TOTAL' TRICK [UK:Resistance via GamesIndustry.biz]

Stories of PlayStation 3 eBay speculators getting shafted never seem to grow old for me. Take the recent article The Globe and Mail, which tells the sad story of a construction worker with a heart of gold, who shelled out $2459 Canadian for two consoles, all in the name of love.

The hard part done, Mr. O'Brien thought he could sit back. He would flip the PlayStation 3s just before Christmas when demand was at its peak and use the profit to buy an engagement ring for his girlfriend...

But two months later, the sleek PlayStation 3 units are collecting dust in Mr. O'Brien's closet in Bowmanville, Ont., while his girlfriend is still without a ring

A criminal investigation has been launched by the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department into the tragic water intoxication death of Jennifer Strange (left, with her family), who died hours after participating in KDND-FM's "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest. This follows the firing of 10 of the radio station's employees, including the three morning DJs, and the cancellation of the morning show.

An article on law enforcement website Officer.com reveals more details on the utter disregard the radio personalities held for the health of their contestants.

Authorities decided to pursue the investigation after listening to a tape of the show, obtained by The Sacramento Bee, during which DJs joked about the possible dangers of consuming too much water, sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Tim Curran said. At one point, the DJs even alluded to a college student who died during a similar stunt in 2005.

As far as I am concerned everyone responsible for the contest, from the promotions department to the on-air talent, had a hand in her death. Sure, the woman should have known better that to follow along with it, but she was trying to do something nice for her now motherless children. That's a fact those children will struggle with for the rest of their lives.

The attorneys of the Strange family plan to file a wrongful death lawsuit against the radio station, and I cannot see how they can possibly lose.

"Oh, my gosh, look at that belly. That's full of water. ... Come on over, Jennifer, you OK?" a male DJ asked. "You going to pass out right now? Too much water?"

California Sheriff Looks into Water-Drinking Death [Officer.com - Thanks Kael]

National's transport spokesman Maurice Williamson says today's young people think they are bullet-proof. He blames Playstations and X-boxes for making teens think they can drive stupidly and just push the reset button if anything goes wrong.

We've learned that craiglist is a bad place to sell your PS3, and now a San Jose man has learned that it isn't the greatest place to buy one either. After a bit of back and forth the victim agreed to purchase a PlayStation 3 from a man who was selling it for only $700 cash. They met in a McDonald's parking lot (what is it with craiglist and McDonald's?) where the exchange was to be made.

The buyer peered into the bag, saw a box and asked that it be opened before he handed over the cash, police said. The seller balked and said, ``What, don't you trust me?'' The two then agreed to exchange the money and bag at the same time

San Jose man victim of PlayStation scam [MercuryNews.com]

A radio station in Minneapolis held on on-air joke promotion this past Wednesday, offering parents a chance to give away their babies for an overnight in exchange for a PS3 system. 101.3FM's Dave in the Morning show found their phone lines flooded with folks seriously willing to make the trade.

Listen to an MP3 from the show here.

I think the station should have agreed to make the trades and then had child services waiting when the parents showed up. I cannot believe people could possibly be that stupid and careless, to try and trade their own flesh and blood for a $600 video game console while on the air with a major radio station. The blackmarket is there for a reason, people. Michael Fahey

PS3 Parents (scroll down for story) [FoxNews.com - Thanks Dad!]

A few minutes later the two men came back and untied the victim, after realizing that they needed the controller to be able to play any games.

Thank you, thank you very much. I'll be here all week. Brian Crecente

Burglars Tie Up Victim With PlayStation Cord [WKRC]

A man in California was mugged by the 2 men who had agreed to buy his 2 PlayStation 3 systems over Craiglist for $2500 a piece. Arriving at a 1AM meet at a McDonald's in La Palma, the men he was selling to sprayed him with pepper spray and took off with the consoles.

I find it very hard to feel bad for this guy. First off, he obviously kept 2 PS3's out of the hands of people who really wanted them just so he could jack the prices. I know it's all about capatalism, but that doesn't mean he isn't a dick.

Secondly, any parent can tell you that meeting strage men from the internet in the middle of the night is a bad idea, especially when you are carrying $1200 worth of one of the hottest gaming products of the year. If ever anyone was asking for it, this guy was. The victim's name was not released, presumably so as not to have him labled world's biggest dumbass. Michael Fahey

PlayStation 3 Seller Attacked, Robbed In La Palma [CBS2.com - Thanks Mandarin!]