"It was determined that they were emulating the character in that Grand Theft Auto game, going on a crime spree" using weapons and tactics inspired by the controversial video game, said Det. Sgt. Anthony Repalone, a Nassau police spokesman.

"We got certain admissions" from the boys, Repalone said.

Good luck on using the old GTA defense boys. It might just work, unless of course the prosecutors play the "You are all obviously f***ing morons" card.

Cops: Video game inspired crime spree [Newsday.com]

If the review is 9.0 or higher you can post immediately. Lower than 9.0, could you please hold until launch day, November 19th? Thanks.

Based on communications I've had with PR people over the years, yeah...I could definitely see this happening. In this case the GameSpot folks opted to just buy the game at a store and review it, but it makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Video Game Company To Wii Reviewer: Save The Panning For Later, Okay? [MTV Multiplayer]

Calling it their "Get Off The Couch & Go Outdoors" offer, from May 21st though the 26th you can trade in an old video game for 15% off Bass Pro Shops branded merchandise across several categories. I particularly like the generic, photoshopped Xbox game case, and the fact that they chose to portray a more active watersport than fishing, which is pretty much just sitting on your ass drinking beer in a different place than when you are gaming. The "Sit Somewhere Else" offer just wouldn't have had the same ring to it.

I'm not sure what they'll be doing with the games, but I'm getting a lovely mental image of the ape scene from 2001.

Update: Just got this from Bass Pro Shops PR: "The donated games will all be going to Get Well Gamers (http://getwellgamers.org/index.php) for redistribution among their network of hospitals. M rated games will find their way to troops overseas through GWG's partnership with Fun for Our Troops (http://www.funforourtroops.org/)." I'm going to go feel really, really bad now.

Bass Pro Shops Sales Circular [Bass Pro Shops - Thanks Ivan!]

Hot Chicks With Cheat Codes [Spike.com Via Fleshbot *NSFW*]

Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), ubiquitous in sports medicine, have been used to examine a healthy 22-year-old Wii player complaining of shoulder soreness after playing Wii Sports Bowling, in the latest thrilling epsiode of Skeletal Radiology. Blah blah blah, authoritative description of simple injury, diagnosis: Wiiitis. It's right there in the peer-reviewed paper.

"Awkward deceleration forces" are blamed for Wiiitis. Translation, swinging a Wiimote is not really the same as swinging a golf club at a phantom ball. With the Wiimote, you're putting the same force into an object that weighs fractionally as much, against zero resistance. And besides, when most people practice their swings with those clubs, they do it in slow-mo.

Here's a question for Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. What is the "weight" of a lit lightsaber anyway, such that it has any? Did Obi-Wan get Wiiitis from "awkwardly decelerating" his blade?

Side note: For any fogey gamers who remember the good ol mercury-switch "Le Stick" from the 1980s, I swear my bro and I got Wiiitis playing Activision Decathlon — a quarter century before Wiiitis was discovered.

Magnetic resonance imaging of acute "wiiitis" of the upper extremity [SpringerLink, via GameCritics

No One Cares About The Xbox Live Diamond Card - Thanks Marco!

"Only one MMO could possibly release World of Warcraft's death grip on the massively multiplayer gaming market - Hello Kitty Online"

Armed Boy Takes Classmate's Pokemon Cards [CBS13.com via DS Fanboy]

"Our thoughts go out to those affected by the Mission Hill Baptist Church fire. GameSpot and GameFAQs message boards are for people to discuss gaming topics. We moderate the posts and pull down inappropriate messages. We are working with the proper authorities to assist in their investigation of this matter."

We'll be keeping an eye on this story and we'll be sure let you know of any updates.

Church Arson Suspect Brags Online [WGEM]

Joffe-Walt: "Yes, my fellow non-gaming Luddites, there is a story to Halo. I know, I thought the same thing. Isn't gaming all just shoot'em up? Why do you need story?"
Staten: "I think to understand why stories are important in games, you need to actually play them."

Joffe-Walt: "Which brings me to another frank and ridiculous question, 'Do gamers read?'" (Keep in mind, she's asking a NY Times best selling author this.)

Staten: "You're dealing with an internet connection, high savvy audience." Joffe-Walt: "Geeks, you're dealing with geeks."

An animated version of a 7-Eleven store and an employee will appear in the popular MapleStory MMOG. This type of integration is cutting-edge, according to Nexon. It brings relevant content to consumers and provides 7-Eleven with a new way to use virtual worlds to expand its marketing.

7-Eleven® Brings Nexon America Game Cards To Teen, 'Tween Customers

Real Card Buys Kids Virtual Shopping Experience

DALLAS — November 29, 2007 - While most big news in the videogame industry revolves around the midnight launch of a hot, new game or the latest, greatest console to hit store shelves, 7-Eleven, Inc. is promoting a new videogame initiative that is less about hardware and software than it is about going on a virtual shopping spree.

One of the biggest global gaming phenomenons is the "Massively Multiplayer Online Game" (MMOG), a computer game that is capable of supporting hundreds or thousands of players simultaneously. The games are played on the Internet and feature at least one virtual world. MMOGs can enable players to cooperate and compete with each other, as well as interact meaningfully with people around the world. While many of these games are free to play, gamers can spend money to create the coolest avatar, a graphic or visual online identity.

7-Eleven® stores and their 24-hour operation make it more convenient for the millions of MMOG fans to personalize their play with certain online games by offering the Nexon Game Card at its U.S. stores.

7-Eleven has an agreement with Nexon America Inc., the U.S. division of Asia's leading online games company, Nexon Group, to be the first convenience retailer in the United States to sell these cards. Gamers can use the prepaid cards to redeem virtual in-game items and accessories within the MapleStory, Audition and upcoming KartRider games produced by Nexon. The prepaid game cards available in 7-Eleven stores are sold in $10 and $25 denominations.

"We have a great assortment of prepaid cards and now we have one especially for 'tweens and teens who are the biggest fans of these online games," said Brad Haga, 7-Eleven senior product director for business development and services. "They're perfect for young people on a budget and should appeal to the Slurpee®-beverage crowd."

7-Eleven and Nexon worked with InComm, a technology firm that develops, markets and distributes stored-value gift and prepaid products, to add the Nexon gift cards to 7-Eleven's extensive services category. An animated version of a 7-Eleven store and an employee will appear in the popular MapleStory MMOG. This type of integration is cutting-edge, according to Nexon. It brings relevant content to consumers and provides 7-Eleven with a new way to use virtual worlds to expand its marketing.

"Offering these exclusive game cards is an important first for a convenience chain and massively multiplayer online (MMO) publisher," said John H. Chi, president and CEO of Nexon America Inc. "By partnering with 7-Eleven, we're able to reach a much broader audience than ever before. Many of Nexon's customers are teenagers without access to credit cards. Now they will have a more convenient option to getting the cards."

The Nexon Game Card can be used within any of Nexon's games, which are free to download at http://www.nexon.net. Players use an innovative cash shop system (called microtransactions), that provides the option to individualize Audition and MapleStory characters and create unique identities. These features are purely optional, and players can try out items in virtual dressing rooms before making a purchase. Items range from hip haircuts and stylish clothes in Audition to vibrant, colorful outfits and fire-breathing pets in MapleStory.

"7-Eleven is eager to offer more products and services for tweens and teens who have fun personalizing elements of these online games and interacting with other players around the world," said Haga. "The Nexoncards are a perfect fit for our prepaid product selection."

As the pioneer of the microtransaction, or Item-Selling business model, Nexon has sold millions of virtual items worldwide through MapleStory and other hit titles like KartRider and BnB: Crazy Arcade. In February 2007, Nexon America reported that North American players spent $1.6 million on 600,000 virtual products within MapleStory alone.

Pink on black. Ubisoft booth. I just got my ass handed to me by a Frag Doll.

Valkyrie, to be exact, who then continued to beat me two more times before I gave in, despite the fact that she continuously stopped fighting to give me pointers and completely failed to get off Kakashi's special move, which involves a rapid button-pressing fight. During my Track and Field days I learned how to tense my muscles so my hand vibrates, allowing for superhumanly fast presses. I demonstrated this to her by holding up my hand and making my fingers vibrate before realizing how many different ways that could be taken wrong and possibly get me kicked out of the convention hall. Not to mention I am much taller than she is. Hasn't anyone heard of height advantage? I am sure it applies to this situation somehow.

I left the hall slightly humiliated, but vowed revenge. The next day I returned and triumphantly had my ass handed to me two more times before victoriously conceding that I suck. One day I shall beat a Frag Doll at something other than facial hair growing and writing my name in the snow, and I will make them give me a t-shirt that I will wear proudly wherever men are repressed...a living symbol of hope for mankind.

Earlier, we posted a cute guinea pig playing Xbox 360. Now, we bring you the cosplaying guinea pig. Reader Dejitaru writes:

When I came home from college, I found he was really rockin' the mullet. Solid Snake rocks a mullet. I put the two together and got this. I feel it really brings out his masculinity. Doesn't it just look like he could snap a couple enemy necks then take a puff on a nice, relaxing cigerette? Or..well..just hide in a box.

*Sigh* I liked it better when we posted game cakes. Brian Ashcraft

Remember when Xbox 360 game PGR3 was used to promote PS3 title Gran Turismo? Boy, that was embarrassing! Hate to have something like that happen again. And somebody to get in trouble, too? Horrible. Thank car manufacturer Kia, because it has happened again. The automobile company's Spanish website is running a promotion the compares driving a Kia to driving a Ferrari Enzo on the PS3. (Ha!) Thing is, the license plate clearly says PGR on it — That's an exclusive Xbox 360 game, published by Microsoft even. When will they ever learn? Not before somebody can pull a hat trick, I hope! Brian Ashcraft

Ooops! [Kia via Acey Bongo's Thanks, Mark!]

Farfetched, I know, but I'm a hopeless optimist sometimes. I once had a girl from the internet visit me who had refused to send me a picture, convincing myself that she just didn't want her beauty to effect my opinion of her. She ended up having ankles as thick as my neck and a smell like an infected ear piercing..true story. I just never learn.

At least Legend of the Dragon smells nice?

This is definitely one of those games they'd rather no have press look at. I'm not familiar with the cartoon, and after playing the game version I have absolutely no intention on rectifying that anytime soon. The controls are awkward, the game modes weak, the graphics lean towards N64 quality and the sound is just...odd.

Now You're Playing with Power

This is not a game that should have been made for the Wii. It's more or less your traditional 3D fighter with a few bells and whistles tacked on to take advantage of the unique setup, and it just does not work. You use the control stick on the nunchuk to move, jump, and crouch, with the C & Z buttons being used to step up or in on the 3D plane. Then you have A & B to punch and kick and the directional pad to block. Once you transformer into your alter ego (every character has one) you gain super moves which just make no f***ing sense whatsoever. The tutorial doesn't help. The book doesn't help. The Spanish half of the book doesn't even help.

What also doesn't help is that once your opponent transforms, you pretty much have to as well or your chances of survival drop considerably. Rounds end up like Voltron episodes. "Well we started fighting as separate lions, but then decided that the ultra-powerful robot was the way to go. If only we had some sort of blazing sword..."

Modus Operandi

You can play story mode, where you choose a character, fight one or two battles, and then spend half an hour honing another character's traits, decimating opponent after opponent only to be cheap shotted out of ring by a guy named Henchman. The there's survival mode, where you can decimate opponent after opponent until being cheap-shotted out of the ring in a single punch. Love that game balance.

There is no arcade mode, but there is a quick versus, where you jump instantly into action, win or lose the round, and then get a game over screen. Definitely quick. There are other modes and of course multiplayer, which I haven't tried but can't imagine making the game magically playable.

But How Bout The Graphics?

In the game's defense, it does indeed capture the look of the characters from the show, who just happen to all be pretty bland and generic, lacking any real flair or style. The environments are too back, with breakable objects scattered about adding a little depth to the surroundings, but all in all they have no flavor whatsoever.

Sound Off

The sound, as I stated earlier, is just odd. At times it sounds like they doubled or tripled up on some fighting grunts, meaning instead of hearing just one you'd hear the same sound two or three times in a row. Then there was this character I ended up playing for the better part of an hour. Ming the rat guardian, this little girl who dances around after her fight ends and then wheezes like she's having an asthma attack four times. Jarring, horrible noises that seem very out of place. Does the cartoon character actually have some horrible lung disease? Should we start up a collection for her? Now I'm worried.

Magically Atrocious

Legend of the Dragon is going to be one of those games I never live down purchasing, though as I see it if I hadn't picked up the game one of you would have, and I've got enough blood on my hands. You are welcome. Michael Fahey

That's me, on the left. In my defense, I have a really kickass jet pack. Really. It makes whooshing noises.

The difference this time around was having a guide. Rather than floundering around, trying to figure out how to make my hair not look like Donald Trump...not just his hair, but his entire body...I was shown a wig shop where I can find trendy hair that all seems to look like McWhertor's for some reason. And the costumes...anything from Gundam to Megaman to Sonic the Hedgehog. While I may have chosen a breakdancing robot furry to represent all that is Fahey in the world (amazingly accurate), I could literally be anyone at any time.

I'm going to be poking around the world for a bit, seeing what I can find that might interest the sort of intelligent, considerate, not making fun of Fahey for being a robot furry kind of readership we attract here. If you play, poke me on Caliban Karas, robot furry extraordinaire. Not literally poke me of course, though I can point you towards an excellent source for free detachable penises. Michael Fahey

But the Times Online? They want their readers to be aware of the dangers and corporate lies surrounding this potentially harmful device. They've contacted some of the world's best clueless experts about how the Wii may be a silent killer (read: you'll have a sore lower back if you play too long).

They cite know-it-alls like personal trainer Jo Tuffrey who spews: "They claim that the Wii closely simulates a game such as tennis, so why not give kids a real racket and get them to go outside and play?" Yeah! Why not go down to the corner tennis court in every neighborhood at any hour and play a pick up game of tennis with your best mates? Chuck that Wii in the trash on your way out!

Sammy Margo of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapists fearmongers with: "To play a Wii tennis game, for instance, they need to build up a fair amount of speed to hit the virtual ball. They wouldn't play two hours of conventional tennis, yet they are doing that with this game — and that is bound to result in some injuries." Looks like Margo hasn't played the lazy man's Wii Sports Tennis, which requires nothing more than a properly timed flick of the wrist.

The Times suggestion? "So save 179 and buy a pair of tennis rackets instead."

Fortunately for Wii playing holdouts who hate the outdoors, the Times has put together a Wii warm up program that will hopefully reduce the risk one of playing this menacing video amusement machine. Good thing Nintendo decided to model the Wii controls after a television remote and not a rusted bear trap, as originally planned. Things could've been much worse. Michael McWhertor

Er, Nintendo, Wii have a problem [Times Online]

Always popular fodder for society's ills, games are once again the scape goat. This time it's Jay Cohen (above), who heads up science and tech research at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. Cohen's department has an US $850 million research budget, but he's worried about finding research talent in the future. Why? The "PlayStation Generation," he says, avoids math and science because they are too difficult. It's so bad that Cohen describes this dilemma as "a crisis in the country." I, on the other hand, would describe government officials who made blanket statements about things they don't know about nor truly understand to be the real "crisis in the country." That's just me, though. Brian Ashcraft

Cohen's Complaints [PC World, Thanks Hogan!]

CNN has a sad piece up on a teen attacks against the homeless. Nathan Moore and his friends Luis Oyola and Andrew Ihrcke savagely beat 49 year-old homeless man Rex Baum. They threw rocks and a barbecue grill at Baum and punched and kicked him. They then hit the man with a baseball bat and a pipe before smearing feces on Baum's face and cutting him to "see if he was alive." The teens then went to McDonald's and bragged about this murder before police picked them up. Quoting CNN:

"Ihrcke told police that killing 'the bum' reminded him of playing a violent video game, a police report shows."

Tragic. Stupid. And unnecessary. Brian Ashcraft

Homeless Attacks [CNN via The Last Boss]

Short answer? No...unless they are child molesters into handheld gaming, but Fox News 6 out of Milwaukee seem to think otherwise. In a special report entitled "Playing Games With Your Kids Safety," Reporter Brad Hicks delves into the disturbing, implausible possibilities. It is pretty much one of those grab the viewer stories that they tease during prime time television. Things like, "Could those french fries give you testicular cancer? Find out at 11." The stories are generally use fear to entice people to help stations generate advertising dollars, and are generally ridiculous. Even more so in this instance.

They begin by showing how much kids love the DS. "It has lots of graphics." says one adorable little cherub. Sooo many graphics. Then it features some more adorable children, much like the average viewer's children, to help the story hit home. They even have a clip Reggie hyping up the DS's capabilities, saying the DS would redefine handheld gaming the way the iPod redefined music. This leads to the reporter's story hook, which I am officially stealing.

"Well, stop the music."

Of course the music stops dramatically, and the great danger inherit in the Nintendo DS is revealed.

Pictochat. Evil, evil Pictochat. The unadvertised backdoor that leads directly to your child's backdoor. Clips of stunned parents. Anyone can contact your child if they have Pictochat open. Anyone!

Mr. Hicks performs a demonstration, sitting downstairs with a girl's parents as she and a friend play Pictochat upstairs. He connects and starts asking them personal questions, which they answer. The mom is not happy when one of the girls writes out her address. Mind you, they know who they are talking to, but still it is shocking!

He then calls out Nintendo, who stated the DS Lite has a range of 65 feet for Wi-Fi connectivity. He heads for the mall, where he finds out that they are vile, vile liars. He can still send messages up to 300 feet away! That of course means that any child molester within 300 feet of your children can grab em, just like that!

As a gamer, I was of course impressed with the signal range.

What the reporter doesn't tell parents, is that no one uses Pictochat unless they are drunk, and yes, perhaps then it becomes an efficient deliver system for hand-drawn penis pictures, but generally only then. Tee hee.

My suggestion? I'd say anyone under 17 should bookmark the video I have linked below, and whenever you want a new DS game from your parents, show it to them. "But mom, the only game I have is Pictochat, and there's child molesters on there!" If your parent doesn't immediately buy you a new game they obviously don't really love you. You're probably adopted. Sorry.

As for Mr. Brad Hicks, might I suggest you expand on the concept presented in this piece? How about, "Could going outside expose your children to child molesters? Find out at 11!" Dork. Michael Fahey

Nintendo Hand-Held Child Molester Target - Video Report [MyFox Milwaukee - Thanks Rob]
MyFox Milwaukee Contact Page - In case anyone wants to voice their opinion.

Konami has officially announced Elebits for Europe, due out this spring, but mysteriously renamed Eledees. Not quite sure of the significance there. Is it a play on the word melodies, perhaps? Some European thing that I, as an uncultured American gamer am missing? Eurogamer seems to have some sort of idea.

Konami's Nintendo Wii debut Elebits will launch in Europe this spring, but you won't be able to find it under that name - instead the game you'll be looking for is "Eledees".

Think about it.

There you go.

Elebits due here this spring [Eurogamer]

The voice chat bug, which Penny Arcade so excellently documented, as well as other "critical issues" are about to receive a metaphorical headshot from Ubisoft. A patch, the development team says, is in the works. Brian Crecente

Rainbow Six Vegas 360 Patch Inc

Well, this is crap. Blizzard has decided, based on a bunch of hooting, red-assed baboons screaming "GIRLY MAN!" in their forums, to change the design of the male Blood Elves.

As many players have noticed, we have made a slight change to the male Blood Elf character models. In response to concerns that the Blood Elf male appeared to be too feminine, and after reviewing the model from a visual and conceptual standpoint, the decision was made to increase the body mass to give them a more substantial, masculine feel. It was also important that as members of the Horde that the Blood Elves gave the impression of strength and a more menacing presence.

Oh, bullshit. You changed it because your constituency is a bunch of capslock-riding asshats who are threatened by bishy player characters.

The reason Blood Elves were Horde in the first place is because everyone was whining about all the Horde races being ugly juggernauts. The point of Blood Elves was to inject some swish into a very physically intimidating set of races.

They're not exactly chunky now, and I do not begrudge a game company making prerelease aethetic changes, but their reasons for doing so are pathetic.

Thanks the Laenir, who pointed out the following comparison shots over at WoW Insider.

Horrible. They just look like regular humans now. Eliza Gauger

WoW Overwhelmed By Homophobes, Make Blood Elves Less "Feminine" [GayGamer]

Car-lovin' sister site Jalopnik sends an update on the Gizmondo craziness. Former company honcho and Swedish gangster Fat Stefan Eriksson has rejected his plea deal. If Eriksson, whose real first name is "Bo," had accepted this deal and pleaded "no contest" to four counts, he would've been hit with a two year, four month sentence and a US $25,000 fine. There's more, including admitting previous felony conduct.

But, "Bo" said "no."

Now, the mafioso businessman is looking down an 11 year sentence for two counts of theft, two counts of embezzlement and two counts of driving under the influence. Too bad they can't nail him for that junk gaming portable. Brian Ashcraft

Bo Says "No" [Jalopnik]

Plaid-skirted Destructoidette Faith Naked and I apparently share more than hair color (although recently mine's been blue, at heart I am a redhead), as she displays while tearing into GameStop for once again failing to run their ad copy through even a basic spellcheck.

We're not all native d00dspeakers, GS. Show a little pride in your work.Eliza Gauger

GameStop Needs a Spellcheck System [Destructoid]

The SmackTalk is bad. This is worse.

A company who shall go unnamed and unlinked is offering to powerlevel your Xbox 360 Gamerscore for ridiculous amounts of money. Considering that Gamescore means nothing, changes nothing, and will impress no one who matters, this site is truly baffling.

* +500 gamer points: $39.99 * +750 gamer points: $59.99 * +1000 gamer points: $99.99 * +1500 gamer points: $149.99 * +2000 gamer points: $199.99 * +3000 gamer points: $299.99

Not only are the prices ludicrous, but the site is peppered with phrases like "impress your friends" and "for the true player".

But much like infomercials, pyramid schemes and the like, I cannot blame the business itself. I blame anyone who supports such a service, but being that brutally insecure is probably its own punishment.

If you're going to spend money for this, I'm developing a competing system where I smile at you and pet your head while fanning you with stacks of Monopoly cash. It only costs $30 for every five minutes, and I guarantee that I can soothe your shrivelled, flaking ego with more skill than Xbox Live. Eliza Gauger

[thanks Metzger]

Thought all the stupid game-hating news programs were American? Nope. The fine folks of the United Kingdom get to watch scare drivel as well. How stupid is it? Resorting to mainstream journalism's game-are-drugs default setting, statements include: Kids' reactions change when they are "on a game" and " off a game," video games are more damaging than regular chemical addictions and video games are keeping kids out of school. As game site UK:Resistance points out, that's all within the show's first fifty seconds! And in the next fifty seconds, its noted that "children have become slaves to gaming." Old hat sure. Hit the jump for the sensationalism in full. Brian Ashcraft

Mirrored Here As Well [UK:R]

Thanks to Destructoid for finding this deeply embarrassing evidence of the further jockifiation of the gamer culture. At right, the top-rated guy on GorgeousGamers.com holds an invisible basset hound against his groin.

Any woman who finds this raggedy-hatted assfrat attractive deserves to be beaten with the wooden end of the coed bathroom toilet plunger.

And then plunged.

But look, I seriously blame Madden for this horrible barbarian invasion. Games were supposed to be our fortress against these jerks. Now they mill around among us, like earwigs in a sack of meal. Earwigs who scream FAGGET all the time. Eliza Gauger

It's Like Hot or Not, but for gamers [Destructoid]

And from the stupid, clueless Hollywood celebrity quote department, Mr. James Cameron:

"It turns out films and MMOs are not that different," explained Cameron's pal Landau. "That shouldn't be too surprising though. After all, what we do as filmmakers is create virtual worlds. Both our industries build experiences that have the same goals."

Yeah, yeah. Whatever chuckles. If Titanic and Eve Online are on the same wavelength, so is World of Warcraft and House of Leaves. I mean, if commonality is achieved simply by both trying to create "virtual worlds" (whatever he means by that) then MMOs are the same as all art! Which is convenient.

Obviously, the difference between an MMO and Titanic is pretty obvious. For one, a game is more interactive than a film. I am not a person that will argue that games are the only interactive mode of art — I simply don't agree. But it is certainly the only mode where the audience can have any control over the actions taking place in art, although I do believe that a reader, listener, viewer does have an intellectual and emotional interaction with an artist that qualifies all art as interactive. But the most important element of an MMO is the social element, which all other forms of art wholly lack. There is no novel you can read where you interact in real-time with other readers, portrayed as characters in their own work. Same as film.

It's just disingenuous fluff, but I'm at the pub, there's no wifi (despite expectations to the contrary!), and I sometimes like giving my confused thoughts on these things. Florian Eckhardt

Edit: From the overworked, underpaid department: obviously, Cameron didn't say this. It says it right in the quote. His buddy Jon Landau did. I'm not sure how to fix the post without just slapping myself in the middle of the forehead and loudly enunciating, "Duhhhhhhh..."

Titanic director talks games [Eurogamer]

Nintendo of Korea has been established, but the branch seems to be nothing more than a nebulous hole. Game site 4 Color Rebellion's Nick Rumas did a bit of digging and tried to find out exactly what NoK was, even going as far to paying a visit at the company office, located in the red light district. Nick writes:

The place turned out to be a total hole. His room is home to a staff of four...and I came to find out that they, most unfortunately, are all that exists of Nintendo of Korea at this point. One guy with this truly awful bleached hair looks like a wannabe Korean pimp in his late twenties, and that's not a good thing. The rest look anything but professional, and the workspace is a dump. Not a cool, gamer's dump. Just a dump. A "we don't give a care" kind of dump. So I start talking with Mr. Jung and friends, asking some questions about what exactly they're doing for Nintendo, how they're representing the company, etc. I'm basically met with blank stares. I bring up the customer service complaints and other bad reports that are making the rounds about Daiwon, and ask them what they have to say about these things. At this point, Mr. Wannabe Pimp With Bad Hair got really, really angry, and for no apparent reason. "We're not Nintendo!", he shouted. "Did you see Nintendo written on this building?! We don't ****** care about that ****!"

What do you say Nintendo, maybe you should rethink your whole let's-have-lowlifes-sell-the-products-in-Korea operation? Just a thought. Brian Ashcraft

More Here [4CR]

Created by Jack Bliss, he had this to say about the video, "This is my very first sprite movie starring the characters from Super Mario World featuring the music by Coldplay.

This is a movie that speaks against racism, discrimination, and war, made in a way I hope that people of all age groups and Mario fans can understand, treasure, and pass it [sic] on...I really enjoyed this game as a child and I hope I can share some of its magic with you in a meaningful way."

In the animation, Mario remembers that, many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea (Yoshi's Island), he had a childhood affair with an anthropomorphic evil mushroom. Mario realizes the evil of his xenophobic ways. Then he starts running through a counterclock world, retracing his steps, trying to unite the races of the Mushroom Kingdom,

You got to love any Mario movie that ends with this impassioned plea for tolerance:

Unfortunately, unlike the Mario World, we don't GET second chances... The damages left by the likes of Adolf Hitler by war and Osama by terrorism are forever... Racism hatred and discrimination were the prime fuels to provoke and unite their Armies of death and mass destruction.

A single tear of profound compassion and understanding trickles down my cheek. Florian Eckhardt

Mario: Back to the Start (via Video Games Blogger)

This should techinically be titled "shitting iPods = terrorism" but this is, after all, a gaming blog.

A member of the WoW.com forums posts that a simple trip to the airplane lavatory ended in disaster when his iPod fell off its clip and into the bowl. He didn't realize it was missing until some time later, and when he told the stewardesses they had already called the feds about the mysterious electronic device in the toilet.

After an emergency landing, the passengers were bussed to a warehouse and interrogated. Our hero's recreational habits fell under scrutiny.

They asked me why I was visiting Canada. I was to visit a friend I met on World of Warcraft, Cara. They took down her name and what I could remember of her address. They asked me how we met.

"In an online game."
"What online game?"
"Umm ... World of Warcraft," I responded meekly.
"What kind of game is this?"
"It's a fantasy game ... it takes place online."
"Fantasy ... like it's got wizards and warlocks?"
"Well, it's got warlocks." (And they need to be nerfed.)

Later on he talks about giving some lip to the fascist bastard that was searching his laptop for "propaganda". I hope this is true, as I am eager to hear about any sort of protestation against the clusterfuck that air travel has become. My last trip through John Wayne Airport was the best reason to move to Vancouver I've ever seen. Eliza "fuck the TSA" Gauger

Full post here [WoW.com] [pic]

We've already established that PSPs will reduce children to tears. Now we learn that they'll get you in trouble with homeland security, as well.

Blogger Robert A. relates that he was simply sitting in his car, "pleasuring himself to a round of Tekken" (I wish I made that up) when he got hassled by angry cops who thought he was a terrorist.

He immediately yelled (not politely) at me and forced me to put my hands in the air, step outside the car, and place both hands on the side of the car. He then proceded to pat me down and handcuff me from behind, and then asked me to sit down on the curb. He peeked inside my car, with flashlight in hand, and thoroughly searched my car (lucky I didn't have my 6-pack next to me, as I originally planned to bring along). He picked up my PSP as evidence of "unusual behavior" and left to his car. There, I would assume, he traced my tags, performed a background check, and called in an additional police cruiser. He came out, and by now, the second cruiser had arrived with two additional men; they all came towards me. I was deeply interrogated.

The article unfortunately reads like a republican 14-year-old's essay on the political climate, and ends How safe are we? Could the PSP pose as a tool for the next generation of hacking? Is this potential one of the things that Sony is trying to protect us from by pressing firmware updates, and, eliminating the ability to run homebrew? Is the PSP really a toy? Give me a large break. Eliza Gauger

More here [XhardwareReviews, via Digg]

Internets, I am disappointed in you. It has taken until now for a farting hand version (with piano accompanyment and nipple grabbing) of the Super Mario Bros. theme song to be spread like Mono through a junior high school. This is about as stupid as they come, perhaps explaining the delay. Brian Ashcraft

Thanks, Jay

Previous: Mario Throat Music

On today's episode of Please Shut Up, a website that has redefined my criteria for judging other humans:

- are they funny?
And
- can they draw?

If the answer to both questions is "no", I cannot possibly relate to them on any meaningful level and they are, for all intents and purposes, worthless. One or the other is fine. But the absence of both qualities leaves a gaping void that can only be filled with misanthropy and Red Vines.

This brings us to the "Gaming Widow", a woman I want to marry just to spousally abuse, and then divorce. She can't draw, isn't funny, but insists on inflicting attempts at both on you, me, Jesus Christ, and the whole of the internets. Meet the Cathy of the Web 2.0, after the jump.

In response to someone correcting her constant and inexplicable misspelling of the word "loser":

WidowQ said,

on July 9th, 2006 at 9:24 pm

HaHa! I found your email quite whitty. [1] Actually we used to spell it that way for the "valley girl" accent. (High school joke. We were very mature! <=Insert sarcastic tone.) It wasn't intentional that I did it that way on the site just habbit [2] then I thought I would leave it that way to start dialogue. [Sure you did.]
And it takes a LOT to offend me. (excepting days when I am hormonal/tired/sensitive ... ) [EG, constantly]
Perhaps I can make it mean that gamers are "looser" in the brain compacity. The more you play the looser you will get ..... :P
Thanks for the email!
-widowQ

Accusations of looseness are tragic and hilarious coming from a woman whose husband prefers raiding to marital sex, which is her number-one webcomic topic, followed closely by her husband wanting to have sex with her but being refused because he played games too long.

This is exhausting and depressing, so I'll just end by drawing your attention to the embarrassingly misused "search terms" field: Search terms: Gamer promises something special for date night, widow dressed up, gamer reveals a 2 player console game, widow runs off crying.

Eliza Gauger

Behold the horrible comedy stylings of the Gaming Widow. [Gaming Sucks, thanks tipster whose email I deleted by accident]