Calling it their "Get Off The Couch & Go Outdoors" offer, from May 21st though the 26th you can trade in an old video game for 15% off Bass Pro Shops branded merchandise across several categories. I particularly like the generic, photoshopped Xbox game case, and the fact that they chose to portray a more active watersport than fishing, which is pretty much just sitting on your ass drinking beer in a different place than when you are gaming. The "Sit Somewhere Else" offer just wouldn't have had the same ring to it.

I'm not sure what they'll be doing with the games, but I'm getting a lovely mental image of the ape scene from 2001.

Update: Just got this from Bass Pro Shops PR: "The donated games will all be going to Get Well Gamers (http://getwellgamers.org/index.php) for redistribution among their network of hospitals. M rated games will find their way to troops overseas through GWG's partnership with Fun for Our Troops (http://www.funforourtroops.org/)." I'm going to go feel really, really bad now.

Bass Pro Shops Sales Circular [Bass Pro Shops - Thanks Ivan!]

Hot Chicks With Cheat Codes [Spike.com Via Fleshbot *NSFW*]

"Our thoughts go out to those affected by the Mission Hill Baptist Church fire. GameSpot and GameFAQs message boards are for people to discuss gaming topics. We moderate the posts and pull down inappropriate messages. We are working with the proper authorities to assist in their investigation of this matter."

We'll be keeping an eye on this story and we'll be sure let you know of any updates.

Church Arson Suspect Brags Online [WGEM]

Joffe-Walt: "Yes, my fellow non-gaming Luddites, there is a story to Halo. I know, I thought the same thing. Isn't gaming all just shoot'em up? Why do you need story?"
Staten: "I think to understand why stories are important in games, you need to actually play them."

Joffe-Walt: "Which brings me to another frank and ridiculous question, 'Do gamers read?'" (Keep in mind, she's asking a NY Times best selling author this.)

Staten: "You're dealing with an internet connection, high savvy audience." Joffe-Walt: "Geeks, you're dealing with geeks."

But the Times Online? They want their readers to be aware of the dangers and corporate lies surrounding this potentially harmful device. They've contacted some of the world's best clueless experts about how the Wii may be a silent killer (read: you'll have a sore lower back if you play too long).

They cite know-it-alls like personal trainer Jo Tuffrey who spews: "They claim that the Wii closely simulates a game such as tennis, so why not give kids a real racket and get them to go outside and play?" Yeah! Why not go down to the corner tennis court in every neighborhood at any hour and play a pick up game of tennis with your best mates? Chuck that Wii in the trash on your way out!

Sammy Margo of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapists fearmongers with: "To play a Wii tennis game, for instance, they need to build up a fair amount of speed to hit the virtual ball. They wouldn't play two hours of conventional tennis, yet they are doing that with this game — and that is bound to result in some injuries." Looks like Margo hasn't played the lazy man's Wii Sports Tennis, which requires nothing more than a properly timed flick of the wrist.

The Times suggestion? "So save 179 and buy a pair of tennis rackets instead."

Fortunately for Wii playing holdouts who hate the outdoors, the Times has put together a Wii warm up program that will hopefully reduce the risk one of playing this menacing video amusement machine. Good thing Nintendo decided to model the Wii controls after a television remote and not a rusted bear trap, as originally planned. Things could've been much worse. Michael McWhertor

Er, Nintendo, Wii have a problem [Times Online]

Always popular fodder for society's ills, games are once again the scape goat. This time it's Jay Cohen (above), who heads up science and tech research at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. Cohen's department has an US $850 million research budget, but he's worried about finding research talent in the future. Why? The "PlayStation Generation," he says, avoids math and science because they are too difficult. It's so bad that Cohen describes this dilemma as "a crisis in the country." I, on the other hand, would describe government officials who made blanket statements about things they don't know about nor truly understand to be the real "crisis in the country." That's just me, though. Brian Ashcraft

Cohen's Complaints [PC World, Thanks Hogan!]

CNN has a sad piece up on a teen attacks against the homeless. Nathan Moore and his friends Luis Oyola and Andrew Ihrcke savagely beat 49 year-old homeless man Rex Baum. They threw rocks and a barbecue grill at Baum and punched and kicked him. They then hit the man with a baseball bat and a pipe before smearing feces on Baum's face and cutting him to "see if he was alive." The teens then went to McDonald's and bragged about this murder before police picked them up. Quoting CNN:

"Ihrcke told police that killing 'the bum' reminded him of playing a violent video game, a police report shows."

Tragic. Stupid. And unnecessary. Brian Ashcraft

Homeless Attacks [CNN via The Last Boss]

Short answer? No...unless they are child molesters into handheld gaming, but Fox News 6 out of Milwaukee seem to think otherwise. In a special report entitled "Playing Games With Your Kids Safety," Reporter Brad Hicks delves into the disturbing, implausible possibilities. It is pretty much one of those grab the viewer stories that they tease during prime time television. Things like, "Could those french fries give you testicular cancer? Find out at 11." The stories are generally use fear to entice people to help stations generate advertising dollars, and are generally ridiculous. Even more so in this instance.

They begin by showing how much kids love the DS. "It has lots of graphics." says one adorable little cherub. Sooo many graphics. Then it features some more adorable children, much like the average viewer's children, to help the story hit home. They even have a clip Reggie hyping up the DS's capabilities, saying the DS would redefine handheld gaming the way the iPod redefined music. This leads to the reporter's story hook, which I am officially stealing.

"Well, stop the music."

Of course the music stops dramatically, and the great danger inherit in the Nintendo DS is revealed.

Pictochat. Evil, evil Pictochat. The unadvertised backdoor that leads directly to your child's backdoor. Clips of stunned parents. Anyone can contact your child if they have Pictochat open. Anyone!

Mr. Hicks performs a demonstration, sitting downstairs with a girl's parents as she and a friend play Pictochat upstairs. He connects and starts asking them personal questions, which they answer. The mom is not happy when one of the girls writes out her address. Mind you, they know who they are talking to, but still it is shocking!

He then calls out Nintendo, who stated the DS Lite has a range of 65 feet for Wi-Fi connectivity. He heads for the mall, where he finds out that they are vile, vile liars. He can still send messages up to 300 feet away! That of course means that any child molester within 300 feet of your children can grab em, just like that!

As a gamer, I was of course impressed with the signal range.

What the reporter doesn't tell parents, is that no one uses Pictochat unless they are drunk, and yes, perhaps then it becomes an efficient deliver system for hand-drawn penis pictures, but generally only then. Tee hee.

My suggestion? I'd say anyone under 17 should bookmark the video I have linked below, and whenever you want a new DS game from your parents, show it to them. "But mom, the only game I have is Pictochat, and there's child molesters on there!" If your parent doesn't immediately buy you a new game they obviously don't really love you. You're probably adopted. Sorry.

As for Mr. Brad Hicks, might I suggest you expand on the concept presented in this piece? How about, "Could going outside expose your children to child molesters? Find out at 11!" Dork. Michael Fahey

Nintendo Hand-Held Child Molester Target - Video Report [MyFox Milwaukee - Thanks Rob]
MyFox Milwaukee Contact Page - In case anyone wants to voice their opinion.

Well, this is crap. Blizzard has decided, based on a bunch of hooting, red-assed baboons screaming "GIRLY MAN!" in their forums, to change the design of the male Blood Elves.

As many players have noticed, we have made a slight change to the male Blood Elf character models. In response to concerns that the Blood Elf male appeared to be too feminine, and after reviewing the model from a visual and conceptual standpoint, the decision was made to increase the body mass to give them a more substantial, masculine feel. It was also important that as members of the Horde that the Blood Elves gave the impression of strength and a more menacing presence.

Oh, bullshit. You changed it because your constituency is a bunch of capslock-riding asshats who are threatened by bishy player characters.

The reason Blood Elves were Horde in the first place is because everyone was whining about all the Horde races being ugly juggernauts. The point of Blood Elves was to inject some swish into a very physically intimidating set of races.

They're not exactly chunky now, and I do not begrudge a game company making prerelease aethetic changes, but their reasons for doing so are pathetic.

Thanks the Laenir, who pointed out the following comparison shots over at WoW Insider.

Horrible. They just look like regular humans now. Eliza Gauger

WoW Overwhelmed By Homophobes, Make Blood Elves Less "Feminine" [GayGamer]

Car-lovin' sister site Jalopnik sends an update on the Gizmondo craziness. Former company honcho and Swedish gangster Fat Stefan Eriksson has rejected his plea deal. If Eriksson, whose real first name is "Bo," had accepted this deal and pleaded "no contest" to four counts, he would've been hit with a two year, four month sentence and a US $25,000 fine. There's more, including admitting previous felony conduct.

But, "Bo" said "no."

Now, the mafioso businessman is looking down an 11 year sentence for two counts of theft, two counts of embezzlement and two counts of driving under the influence. Too bad they can't nail him for that junk gaming portable. Brian Ashcraft

Bo Says "No" [Jalopnik]

Plaid-skirted Destructoidette Faith Naked and I apparently share more than hair color (although recently mine's been blue, at heart I am a redhead), as she displays while tearing into GameStop for once again failing to run their ad copy through even a basic spellcheck.

We're not all native d00dspeakers, GS. Show a little pride in your work.Eliza Gauger

GameStop Needs a Spellcheck System [Destructoid]

The SmackTalk is bad. This is worse.

A company who shall go unnamed and unlinked is offering to powerlevel your Xbox 360 Gamerscore for ridiculous amounts of money. Considering that Gamescore means nothing, changes nothing, and will impress no one who matters, this site is truly baffling.

* +500 gamer points: $39.99 * +750 gamer points: $59.99 * +1000 gamer points: $99.99 * +1500 gamer points: $149.99 * +2000 gamer points: $199.99 * +3000 gamer points: $299.99

Not only are the prices ludicrous, but the site is peppered with phrases like "impress your friends" and "for the true player".

But much like infomercials, pyramid schemes and the like, I cannot blame the business itself. I blame anyone who supports such a service, but being that brutally insecure is probably its own punishment.

If you're going to spend money for this, I'm developing a competing system where I smile at you and pet your head while fanning you with stacks of Monopoly cash. It only costs $30 for every five minutes, and I guarantee that I can soothe your shrivelled, flaking ego with more skill than Xbox Live. Eliza Gauger

[thanks Metzger]

Thought all the stupid game-hating news programs were American? Nope. The fine folks of the United Kingdom get to watch scare drivel as well. How stupid is it? Resorting to mainstream journalism's game-are-drugs default setting, statements include: Kids' reactions change when they are "on a game" and " off a game," video games are more damaging than regular chemical addictions and video games are keeping kids out of school. As game site UK:Resistance points out, that's all within the show's first fifty seconds! And in the next fifty seconds, its noted that "children have become slaves to gaming." Old hat sure. Hit the jump for the sensationalism in full. Brian Ashcraft

Mirrored Here As Well [UK:R]

Thanks to Destructoid for finding this deeply embarrassing evidence of the further jockifiation of the gamer culture. At right, the top-rated guy on GorgeousGamers.com holds an invisible basset hound against his groin.

Any woman who finds this raggedy-hatted assfrat attractive deserves to be beaten with the wooden end of the coed bathroom toilet plunger.

And then plunged.

But look, I seriously blame Madden for this horrible barbarian invasion. Games were supposed to be our fortress against these jerks. Now they mill around among us, like earwigs in a sack of meal. Earwigs who scream FAGGET all the time. Eliza Gauger

It's Like Hot or Not, but for gamers [Destructoid]

And from the stupid, clueless Hollywood celebrity quote department, Mr. James Cameron:

"It turns out films and MMOs are not that different," explained Cameron's pal Landau. "That shouldn't be too surprising though. After all, what we do as filmmakers is create virtual worlds. Both our industries build experiences that have the same goals."

Yeah, yeah. Whatever chuckles. If Titanic and Eve Online are on the same wavelength, so is World of Warcraft and House of Leaves. I mean, if commonality is achieved simply by both trying to create "virtual worlds" (whatever he means by that) then MMOs are the same as all art! Which is convenient.

Obviously, the difference between an MMO and Titanic is pretty obvious. For one, a game is more interactive than a film. I am not a person that will argue that games are the only interactive mode of art — I simply don't agree. But it is certainly the only mode where the audience can have any control over the actions taking place in art, although I do believe that a reader, listener, viewer does have an intellectual and emotional interaction with an artist that qualifies all art as interactive. But the most important element of an MMO is the social element, which all other forms of art wholly lack. There is no novel you can read where you interact in real-time with other readers, portrayed as characters in their own work. Same as film.

It's just disingenuous fluff, but I'm at the pub, there's no wifi (despite expectations to the contrary!), and I sometimes like giving my confused thoughts on these things. Florian Eckhardt

Edit: From the overworked, underpaid department: obviously, Cameron didn't say this. It says it right in the quote. His buddy Jon Landau did. I'm not sure how to fix the post without just slapping myself in the middle of the forehead and loudly enunciating, "Duhhhhhhh..."

Titanic director talks games [Eurogamer]

Nintendo of Korea has been established, but the branch seems to be nothing more than a nebulous hole. Game site 4 Color Rebellion's Nick Rumas did a bit of digging and tried to find out exactly what NoK was, even going as far to paying a visit at the company office, located in the red light district. Nick writes:

The place turned out to be a total hole. His room is home to a staff of four...and I came to find out that they, most unfortunately, are all that exists of Nintendo of Korea at this point. One guy with this truly awful bleached hair looks like a wannabe Korean pimp in his late twenties, and that's not a good thing. The rest look anything but professional, and the workspace is a dump. Not a cool, gamer's dump. Just a dump. A "we don't give a care" kind of dump. So I start talking with Mr. Jung and friends, asking some questions about what exactly they're doing for Nintendo, how they're representing the company, etc. I'm basically met with blank stares. I bring up the customer service complaints and other bad reports that are making the rounds about Daiwon, and ask them what they have to say about these things. At this point, Mr. Wannabe Pimp With Bad Hair got really, really angry, and for no apparent reason. "We're not Nintendo!", he shouted. "Did you see Nintendo written on this building?! We don't ****** care about that ****!"

What do you say Nintendo, maybe you should rethink your whole let's-have-lowlifes-sell-the-products-in-Korea operation? Just a thought. Brian Ashcraft

More Here [4CR]

Created by Jack Bliss, he had this to say about the video, "This is my very first sprite movie starring the characters from Super Mario World featuring the music by Coldplay.

This is a movie that speaks against racism, discrimination, and war, made in a way I hope that people of all age groups and Mario fans can understand, treasure, and pass it [sic] on...I really enjoyed this game as a child and I hope I can share some of its magic with you in a meaningful way."

In the animation, Mario remembers that, many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea (Yoshi's Island), he had a childhood affair with an anthropomorphic evil mushroom. Mario realizes the evil of his xenophobic ways. Then he starts running through a counterclock world, retracing his steps, trying to unite the races of the Mushroom Kingdom,

You got to love any Mario movie that ends with this impassioned plea for tolerance:

Unfortunately, unlike the Mario World, we don't GET second chances... The damages left by the likes of Adolf Hitler by war and Osama by terrorism are forever... Racism hatred and discrimination were the prime fuels to provoke and unite their Armies of death and mass destruction.

A single tear of profound compassion and understanding trickles down my cheek. Florian Eckhardt

Mario: Back to the Start (via Video Games Blogger)

This should techinically be titled "shitting iPods = terrorism" but this is, after all, a gaming blog.

A member of the WoW.com forums posts that a simple trip to the airplane lavatory ended in disaster when his iPod fell off its clip and into the bowl. He didn't realize it was missing until some time later, and when he told the stewardesses they had already called the feds about the mysterious electronic device in the toilet.

After an emergency landing, the passengers were bussed to a warehouse and interrogated. Our hero's recreational habits fell under scrutiny.

They asked me why I was visiting Canada. I was to visit a friend I met on World of Warcraft, Cara. They took down her name and what I could remember of her address. They asked me how we met.

"In an online game."
"What online game?"
"Umm ... World of Warcraft," I responded meekly.
"What kind of game is this?"
"It's a fantasy game ... it takes place online."
"Fantasy ... like it's got wizards and warlocks?"
"Well, it's got warlocks." (And they need to be nerfed.)

Later on he talks about giving some lip to the fascist bastard that was searching his laptop for "propaganda". I hope this is true, as I am eager to hear about any sort of protestation against the clusterfuck that air travel has become. My last trip through John Wayne Airport was the best reason to move to Vancouver I've ever seen. Eliza "fuck the TSA" Gauger

Full post here [WoW.com] [pic]