Kotaku: story time

The Final Mirror's Edge Story Trailer

Mike Fahey — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 11:40:00 MST

Here's the latest and final in a series of story trailers for EA's free-running dangerous delivery service simulation, Mirror's Edge, and I almost hate to see them go. I actually enjoy the animation and art direction in these more than I like what I've seen of the actual game in motion. I'm sure once I have the game in hand next week and get over the initial period of nausea I will do just fine. This final installment deals with runners from more of a sales standpoint. I suppose they have to have someone hawking their services for them. You can't be that good at navigating skyscrapers and a people person at the same time.

Where I Get My Lazy From

Mike Fahey — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:00:31 MDT

I'm not the most productive fellow in the world. An excellent example of this is the fact that I am moving in two days and didn't get started on packing until Tuesday night. I would sit down in front of the television and start stacking up DVDs and games to go into the boxes, and before you know it I've found a game I haven't played in awhile and wasted several hours. Knowing my attention span problems, my mother offered to come over the other day and help me get started packing. Seeing as my mother rarely gets a chance to play video games and generally only plays PC point and click adventures, I figured I would show her Wii Sports bowling while I had her here, maybe let her throw a few balls before we got down to packing. Really bad idea.

An hour later and she's played several full games and we've gotten exactly nothing accomplished. On top of that, all that bowling had made her tired, so we decided to reschedule the packing for another day.

It made me think though. Is my gaming addiction and general laziness hereditary? If video games had been around when my mother was a kid, would I even be here today or would she have been too busy playing an ancient ancestor of Mario to bother going out to meet my dad?

Hereditary or no, I am obviously much better at putting off work than she is. As I type this she is in my kitchen wrapping dishes in newspaper while I sit in a comfortable office chair and tell you folks about how lazy she is. I suppose we'll see just how lazy she actually is when she reads this and then commences kicking my sorry ass.

The Wii Reaches ALL Demographics

Mike Fahey — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 15:40:36 MST

I was sitting in my living room last night when the Zelda itch hit me. My girlfriend was still at work, so it was safe to pull out the wiimote and nunchuck, or so I thought.

Et tu, Rufus? So not only is my girlfriend bogarting the Wii, now my little fuzzy partner in crime was coveting it as well? I mean, I know I could certainly take it from him with nothing more than a few scratches, but the sheer cuteness formed a solid wall that would only allow through air and camera flash. It's a phenomenon you really have to experience for yourself to appreciate.

This started me thinking. What if the appeal of the Wii went so far beyond the standard video gaming demographic that it effected non-humans? An interesting theory, but I would need a guinea pig to test it out.

As you can see, Sheba here seems unaffected by the introduction of the wiimote into her natural habitat. In many other animals this would be a negative result, but guinea pigs are convinced that most everything is either delicious hay, and therefore tolerable, or a Peruvian, therefore life-threatening. The wiimote definitely falls into the 'hay' category.

KOTAKU FUN FACT! - Peruvians eat upwards of 22 million guinea pigs a year!

Mmmmm.

Anyway, I took the hay verdict as conclusive proof and rushed into the living room to watch for that whacky old guy's free government grant money infomercial and have Rufus sign release papers, when I noticed this:

Well there goes that theory. I suppose I could have just lost the PS3 evidence and published my findings to suit my beliefs, but then I'd be no better than every two-bit scientist that ever published a skewed violent games turn your children into demons report. My cat isn't a Nintendo fancat. He's just a lazy all-round gamer like me only fuzzier, who dreams of having opposable thumbs like the big mammals. Judging by the lack of a 360 controller, he's also most likely Japanese. You learn something new every day. Michael Fahey

A Wii Bit of Table Turning

Mike Fahey — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 14:40:07 MST

My girlfriend isn't really a gamer. Sure, there have been games in the past she's played for a bit, but nothing really seriously since Yoshi's Cookie on the NES. She does like to watch every now and then, which is what she was doing on Friday night as I took in a little Wii Sports action. I went through each game, playing a round or two. She was especially tickled to see the Mii I made of her in the crowd while I bowled. After about a half-hour I went to set down the controller.

"Wait, you didn't do golf."
"But I hate the golf!"
"Do golf!"

She was scarily insistent, so I played through a quick round of golf, discovering that the game took a lot more finesse and a lot less flailing like a gorilla, my previous strategy. Then I set the controller down, and went to get a drink.

It would be the last time I saw the Wiimote alive.

Well, the last time I would see it that night. Thanks to the Wiimote shortage all I could do was watch as my television and console were taken over by my girlfriend, myself relegated to the position on the couch normally reserved for her. She's watched me play other Wii games before, but something about Wii Sports just clicked with her.

She was good at bowling. Scary good. So good I might need to hobble her before I get another controller in order to save face. She figured out things in tennis that I didn't even know how to do. And boxing. Man, she got so into boxing I had to leave the room in fear of my life. She was downright vicious.

"All these guys I'm fighting have glasses. I hate guys with glasses!" Pow! Pow!

For the record, I wear glasses.

It was a night of bizarre juxtaposition as my non-gaming girlfriend stayed up for hours playing video games while I went to sleep early, unfulfilled. Dammit Nintendo, if anyone is not going to fulfill someone in my household it's gonna be me! Wait... Michael Fahey