During last night's "Cheating Death" segment, Colbert busted out a new piece of tech, Prescott Pharmaceuticals' Vaxbox, a revolutionary console that not only plays games, it gives kids a healthy orange glow while playing them. The entirety of The Colbert Report's health-centric feature is after this, including first footage of Tan Theft Auto in blinding action.

Man, how about that science, eh? What can't it do?!

If you'd like to skip to the Vaxbox stuff, head over to Hulu. If you can't see the video, simply move to another country. (Or head to Colbert Nation or Comedy Central.)

The Colbert Report: Cheating Death - Blue M&M's, Vitamin D & Hormones [Hulu - thanks, Drew!]

But The Colbert Report's teasing of the Xbox 360 motion-control camera tech wasn't the most earth-shattering portion of last night's episode. Nor was it the show's assertion that video games are more addictive than chocolate covered meth cigarettes. It was the debut of the "next next generation" of Xbox technology, the X-Xbox, a device that requires no controller, no screen and no console. Amazing!

No new hardware coming, eh, Microsoft? We can see it with our own two eyes. Can't you?

Colbert's dig at Project Natal is after this—if you're living in Hulu and Comedy Central-approved territories.

Thanks to everyone who tipped us off about the episode, but I make a habit of watching The Colbert Report every morning as part of my pre-Kotaku posting warm up.

The Colbert Report - Thursday, June 18, 2009 [Hulu]
The Colbert Report - Thursday, June 18, 2009 [Comedy Central]

And all that plunking you hear pocking Colbert's velvet voice? That would be Chaffetz bombing in Rock Band. He landed a 24 percent. Booooo!

Watch the video over on the site, so I don't have to deal with their 40-billion line embed code frightening our hamsters to death.

Exclusive - Colbert and Chaffetz Play Rock Band

So while we don't get to see Stephen's reaction to Garriott's majestic rattail, at least we did get to hear him chat with Richard about his testicles, and that's what it's all about, isn't it?

Be sure to set your favorite TV recording device to see if Colbert can possibly resist saying something about Garriott's magnificent hair.

While you wait to try and mimic Stephen's dulcet tones, we present you with the music video for the song, which we've placed after the jump in order to minimize screaming and swooning.

New FREE DLC UP! Stephen and the Colberts - Charlene (I'm Right Behind You) [Rock Band Forums - Thanks TRTX!]

“I am thrilled to have my DNA shot into space, as this brings me one step closer to my life-long dream of being the baby at the end of 2001," said Colbert.

“In the unlikely event that Earth and humanity are destroyed, mankind can be resurrected with Stephen Colbert’s DNA,” said Garriott. “Is there a better person for us to turn to for this high-level responsibility?”

Little do they know that by then Colbert's meekling DNA will have been long ago destroyed by the careful machinations of the Crecente DNA army as part of my plan to conquer a soon-to-be-forgotten harddrive in space.

If Colbert DNA were to survive, IF, I'm sure Crecentes could figure something out.

The sordid story, according to Multichannel, by way of WoW Insider was that Lockwood's "Warrior of Truthiness" paladin never actually made it in front of Colbert's eyeballs. Upper Deck seemed to be behind the idea for a real world tie in for its trading card game, but the squares at Colbert, Inc. blocked it.

Shame, as Colbert doesn't seem to be shy about playing video games now and then or being associated with nerdy pursuits. He's guest starred in a couple of Marvel comic books in the past, so he's not too cool for this sort of thing.

Seems to me that his TV persona would love the sort of attention 10 million active World of Warcraft subscribers brings. Perhaps he's more concerned about the demonic RPG aspect of it all and his morals were shaken too close to the core.

The life and death of Stefen Colbear [WoW Insider]

"After conducting extensive polling and scrutinizing all the candidates' stances on various issues, we came to the conclusion that Stephen Colbert has shown strong leadership and best represents the interests of the video game playing community," said Gamecock CEO and Grand Champeen Mike Wilson. "Stephen Colbert had Will Wright on his show and he pummeled Nancy Pelosi's Mii in Wii Boxing. These decisive actions have earned our vote."

The game publisher urges Stephen Colbert to not lose hope, suggesting that he come to their home state of Texas to continue his run for president and extend his endorsement deal with Doritos brand snack chips, the crunch heard round the world.

I myself cannot throw my support behind Colbert, mainly because of his campaign promise to South Carolina. "I promise, if elected, I will crush the state of Georgia." Georgia is where I keep all my stuff. Can't have that.

GAMECOCK ENDORSES STEPHEN COLBERT FOR PRESIDENT

Videogame Publisher Refuses To Accept "South Carolina Setback", Pushes for Texas Run

COCKPIT, Austin, Texas - November 7, 2007 - Gamecock Media Group, an Austin, TX based publisher of videogames, announced today the company's endorsement of Stephen Colbert for President of the United States of America and is encouraging him to begin his campaign in Texas.

"After conducting extensive polling and scrutinizing all the candidates' stances on various issues, we came to the conclusion that Stephen Colbert has shown strong leadership and best represents the interests of the videogame playing community," said Gamecock CEO and Grand Champeen Mike Wilson. "Stephen Colbert had Will Wright on his show and he pummeled Nancy Pelosi's Mii in Wii Boxing. These decisive actions have earned our vote."

"Politicians have long demonized videogames for short term gain," added Wilson. "This has, of course, been hilarious to watch. But Stephen Colbert will definitely be funnier than anything Hillary Clinton or Mitt Romney can come up with."

South Carolina Democrats' decision to keep Colbert off the ballot will not stop Colbert's campaign, pledges Gamecock. "While the South Carolina Gamecocks are standing in the way of greatness, the Texas Gamecocks are fully behind Colbert. We encourage him to come to the elite state of Texas to launch his campaign, where 'his people' will undoubtedly support him. He can use the Gamecock office as campaign headquarters," stated Harry Miller, El Presidente of Gamecock.

In addition to this bold offer of help, Gamecock said it would get into the Colbert campaign's spirit of commercialism by encouraging gamers to check out its upcoming politically-charged party game, Hail to the Chimp, where animals duke it out to be president of the animal kingdom (www.chimplove.com). No other efforts will be made on the part of Gamecock to mobilize the tens of millions of voting-age gamers. "I wish the best for Mr. Colbert, but what do we look like, political strategists?" Miller concluded.

We got a heads up from our friends at EA today that Will Wright—of Sims and Spore fame, natch—will be making an appearance on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report this coming Monday, December 4. I'm not sure if Stephen will be interviewing Will or not, but it sounds like it.

Put it in your Google Calendars! Set your Tivos! Get the Jiffy Pop ready! This is appointment television. Michael McWhertor

1UP got their hands on Stephen Colbert's announcement of his new game, World of Colbertcraft, originally scheduled for the Mi6 Conference in San Francisco next week. They edited it down to 15 seconds of funny... or, if not funny, at least mildly amusing. If only someone would do this for everything Colbert does. Florian Eckhardt
Steven Colbert: World of Colbertcraft [Gamevideos.com]