Bad enough I got drafted into Steel Battalion's janky, totally unplayable war, but what made things worse was having to fight alongside a guy with pee-covered hands. Oh, and another guy who apparently likes having unholy relations with Vertical Tanks.
Maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Geez, Evan, you sure made Steel Battalion sound like a terrible experience in your review today." Damn right I did and deservedly so, might I add. And it wasn't just me. Over at Polygon, Justin McElroy rounds up a few other game critics who related just how unplayable this Kinect game …
I used to have one of the hugely impractical, super-expensive controllers for the original Steel Battalion. It went MIA somewhere during the various moves of my adult life, but before it did, I remember that I broke it out in all its glory maybe one or two times. I never got very far in the original game but I…
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--53O6cJZv--/c_fill,g_center,h_358,w_636/17nlpe8a2gqbgpng.png, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--cn3HQ6UF--/c_fill,g_center,h_180,w_320/17nlpe8a2gqbgpng.png, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--cQPqSxyZ--/c_fill,g_center,h_77,w_137/17nlpe8a2gqbgpng.png, (large)])
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--NUBWBYLW--/c_fill,g_center,h_358,w_636/18rbzx9oc8ji0jpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--8-vaNkzQ--/c_fill,g_center,h_180,w_320/18rbzx9oc8ji0jpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--XG1axKKP--/c_fill,g_center,h_77,w_137/18rbzx9oc8ji0jpg.jpg, (large)])
I've yet to see a trailer for Capcom's Kinect-and-controller Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor that didn't impress me. I've even seen people play this game and it doesn't look dopey (it seems that you don't use the Kinect all that much.)
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--glmrGHze--/c_fill,g_center,h_358,w_636/18rd2d3zwsvbajpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--VGswu71O--/c_fill,g_center,h_180,w_320/18rd2d3zwsvbajpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--6NNXCE-5--/c_fill,g_center,h_77,w_137/18rd2d3zwsvbajpg.jpg, (large)])
As Brian Ashcraft reported during the Tokyo Game Show in September, Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor foregoes the pricey, complicated controller of the original game in favor of a slightly less convoluted control scheme that uses Microsoft's Kinect and a real gamepad.
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--q5M6uMuu--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18j1fyfpdfizdpng.png, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--VxW4mtTZ--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18j1fyfpdfizdpng.png, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--smIVV_Gd--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18j1fyfpdfizdpng.png, (large)])
Capcom is bringing Steel Battalion to Kinect, minus the enormous controller. In its place, Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor uses a combination of Kinect controls and the Xbox controller.
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--ya7xgRAg--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18j1gh8h20vunjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--jQn2Vd7M--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18j1gh8h20vunjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--FbcVc_eq--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18j1gh8h20vunjpg.jpg, (large)])
The original Steel Battalion is remembered for two things: It was an Xbox exclusive, and it had a batty controller.
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--LFkiZ1hV--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18j1n8754aod2jpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--9NA-h6a9--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18j1n8754aod2jpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--81g3HEW7--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18j1n8754aod2jpg.jpg, (large)])
Capcom's Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor for the Kinect paints a grim picture of a future U.S. blasted back to the Industrial Age and plunged into war. These striking images tell the story of the brave men fighting for our future freedom.
Take a look at the debut trailer for Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor, coming to you from Gamescom in Germany. New details are hitting as I write this as well, so refresh this for an update.
Hotly anticipated Kinect game Steel Battalion Heavy Armor will be making a brief, private appearance at Gamescom next week. Expect to read all about it the day before the show kicks off next week. And, yes, so far it remains a Kinect-enabled game.
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--CySpTNDQ--/c_fill,g_center,h_358,w_636/18hdsinzzzge3jpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--X-tzOXIU--/c_fill,g_center,h_180,w_320/18hdsinzzzge3jpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--h7GNYVza--/c_fill,g_center,h_77,w_137/18hdsinzzzge3jpg.jpg, (large)])
Of all Microsoft's surprising Kinect reveals earlier today, none carries the weight of nostalgia - and potential - like the reimagining of cult mech combat title Steel Battalion.
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--Ywn3kSbF--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18j31n5pkh7mjjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--HPttoX-_--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18j31n5pkh7mjjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--mJGNsLjm--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18j31n5pkh7mjjpg.jpg, (large)])
During Microsoft's Tokyo Game Show press conference this morning, Capcom's Keiji Inafune took the stage to introduce the world to Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor for Kinect, a new interpretation of the classic game with the extremely expensive controller.
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--DusomGU4--/c_fill,g_center,h_358,w_636/17p0ybypazeizjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--ZIxNd3VA--/c_fill,g_center,h_180,w_320/17p0ybypazeizjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--ywlSbfac--/c_fill,g_center,h_77,w_137/17p0ybypazeizjpg.jpg, (large)])
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--n9Kb4Cny--/c_fill,g_center,h_358,w_636/17j71b3is46g8jpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--QkAcjX8F--/c_fill,g_center,h_180,w_320/17j71b3is46g8jpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--FZZbcIzN--/c_fill,g_center,h_77,w_137/17j71b3is46g8jpg.jpg, (large)])