Reader Aaron S. — I believe emailing from Japan but I could be wrong — sent us that one, which he says is a picture of his friend. Not him. Because that's a lady that sat in a chair while Solid Snake was rendered up and down her midriff. Wow.

The driver of the truck noticed the truck's tarp flapping in the wind, at which point a giant exclamation point appeared over his head. He then alerted authorities.

"We have no idea where the fugitive is hiding," prison warden Beate Peters told the BBC. "We assume that he is still in the county and is lying low before making his move." Authorities are listening carefully for knocking on walls.

Inmate Escapes German Jail In Box [BBC via Shacknews]

Kotaku reader Michal's comic, however, might help explain why Snake strikes out with the women of Metal Gear Solid in a spin on this theory about Old Snake's shortcomings. I guess, technically, it's NSFW, so proceed with caution.

Sorry, Old Snake. That's a tough hand you've been dealt.

Full sized version at Michal's deviantArt space.

Bear's Beer Talk [deviantArt]

At the end of MGS Naomi was offering free strip searches to Snake (literally) and when she finally has him in front of him, naked, she starts crying like a bitch. Keep in ming that Naomi is the biggest whore in the MG universe and there's nothing that makes a whore cry more than having a man show up with no penis in her house.

My thoughts? He can't reproduce, he's dying prematurely, and the one girl he had the hots for doesn't have a grandpa complex. Damn guys, leave the poor man his penis.

Solid Snake Has No Penis [Binary Fractal - Thanks Luis!]

Metal Gear Retrospective — Part Two [Gametrailers. Here's Part One if you missed that.]

During the announcements we were told about the PS3 MGS4 bundle which has been confirmed to contain a gunmetal gray PS3 with matching Dual Shock 3 controller and the MGS4 limited edition version of the game. Once the gameplay started we were treated to the most fantastic MGS news of the evening, a brand new secret weapon. CAUTION: If you make the jump you will hear about this new secret weapon. If you don't want to know about it, read no further!

The secret weapon revealed was the Tanegashima gun, a mythological Japanese weapon that causes massive destruction. The gun was of an older variety and the crowd got quite a laugh watching Snake go through the rather detailed routine of loading the gun, tamping the shot down and getting it ready to fire. Once it was ready though, it was something quite unlike I had ever seen. Shooting into the crowd with it causes a huge whirlwind of a tornado that knocks huge groups of enemies out and spreads copious amounts of ammo out all over the place allowing you to run around and gather your stores for later.But, such things come at a price and the Tanegashima is by far the most expensive weapon in the game, so be sure to save your pennies!

Seeing the reaction in the room when these things were shown was enough to convince me that MGS 4 is set to be the PS3s first real system seller. It also leaves me feeling that June 12 just can't come fast enough.

Snake is instantly recognizable for a few simple features, his signature eye patch, the 80's glam rock head band and probably most importantly his manhood, that's right, his Moustache. But call me a heathen, when I hear the word moustache only one name springs to mind and that is Magnum P.I a.k.a Tom Selleck. Driving a Ferrari, courting beautiful women, for Gods sake he made Hawaiian Shirts cool. I pay him homage with a game cover should he ever decide to cash in on his mo.

Metal Gear Solid: Essential Collection [GameStop]
[Thanks, A_Zombie]

Some hard working and Metal Gear Solid obsessed fans have translated and uploaded this Metal Gear Saga 20th Anniversary video that came along with the Metal Gear Saga 20th Anniversary box set that was recently released exclusively in Japan. Check it out for a ton of info on your favorite characters and some hints on where the next game is heading. It's a nice long one (23:32) so make sure and carve yourself out a little chunk of time to check it out. And just to clarify, the clip is in Japanese with English subtitles, so grab your reading glasses.

[Thanks, Jeff]

Character Battle VI [GameFaqs]

To the best of my ability, I was able to determine that there is a life-sized Snake statue available that was originally created to promote MGS 3: Snake Eater (Pardon me while I giggle behind my hand at that title again). Where it gets fuzzy is the reference to the photo. It seems to say that the accompanying image is actually of a different statue than the one being offered. The item ships from Switzerland and will cost 430 USD to ship to the US and Canada or 635 USD to Mexico, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong, and Australia. No mention is made of shipping costs to Europe which seems a bit odd. The bid is currently at the low, low price of $51 with only two bids and six hours to go. If you decide you simply must have this Snake for your very own, good luck and Caveat emptor.

SNAKE EATER 3 METAL GEAR SOLID LIFE SIZE STATUE [eBay]
[Thanks, Gamelord]

Hello David Hayter! I have to say that you are one of the greatest voice actors ever, and you do a great job as snake. I was wondering, are you going to voice Snake in Super smash bros. brawl?

To which Hayter eagerly replied:

Archduke Chocula,

I am indeed voicing Snake in "Smash Bros." I've recorded it already, and I believe that fans of both games are going to be extremely happy. It's very cool. That's all I can say.

DH

And before you ask, yes, I have confirmed that this YouTube page belongs to Mr. Hayter as it is linked from the video section of his official website. And if you haven't yet seen the MGS tribute video, you can check it out here.

Snake's Page On Smash Bros. Dojo!! [Smash Bros. Dojo!!]

This is one of the more humorous and clever video game related papercrafts I've seen. Solid Snake sneaking around in a box is always hilarious, but it's even funnier in paper form! This is a pretty simple piece to put together and if you are thinking of starting a career as a papercraft model expert, this might be a good place to start. The model comes on two pages and consists of four individual parts and includes instructions. It doesn't get much easier than this one folks! Flynn De Marco

Snake In A Box Papercraft Model [Artist Unknown]
[via Chamoo232]

In Metal Gear, the key is stealth—sneaking where your enemy least expects you. And if I was looking for Solid Snake, the last place I would search would be a bulletin board in the Russian city of Saratov, which is exactly why he's there. Kotakuite IIia points out that the ads says:

Solid Snake, super-agent. Saved the world several times. Smokes, but seldom.

Hats off to IIia for finding today's gaming non sequitur! Brian Ashcraft

A couple sharp-eyed readers have written in to alert the slovenly Kotaku team that Best Buy is now fielding Wii preorders. This place became a madhouse shortly after Crecente left on "vacation" (read:discounted Tijuana implant binge) and it was fun until Bashcraft finished off the Rockstar and started slurring something about "hazing the noob" while his bloodshot eyes listed unsteadily across my face.

So I'm updating via PSP from a monitor box in one of the abandoned employee lounges, Solid Snake-style. By the time this posts I'll have moved to a different location, so don't even bother trying to find me, suckas.

I'm leeching wifi from some unencrypted node called "bewbz4fl0r1an" and the signal strength is pretty low. Even when I'm connected, it's Kings Quest slow. I guess someone is sucking up all the bandwidth.

Anyway, think of me when you slap down your $50 for Red Steel. I'll do what I can, but man, I can hear them breaking into the Sierra Mist from here. God help us all. Eliza Gauger

Wii games at Best Buy OMG WIIIIII! [Best Buy]