Alan Wake At TGS? "Not An Announcement"

Remember when we told you to pencil (yes, pencil) in upcoming Remedy title Alan Wake for the Tokyo Game Show? As Kotaku's own Mike McWhertor pointed out a mention that it would be at TGS appeared in a Windows branded contest that actually dates from last year. Over on the Alan Wake Forums, Remedy has posted:

The Microsoft Vista promotion referring to TGS took place in 2007, and is old news - we've had the winner over for taking the pictures already.

Sorry for the confusion and possible disappointment, but this was not an annoucement that Wake would be shown at TGS 2008. Remedy's team is just getting back from a bit of holiday and we haven't had time to chat with Microsoft on upcoming shows/showings yet.

Oh. Question: Then why didn't we see it at E3?

How far has Remedy comed on Alan Wake [Alan Wake via VG247]

This Wii Hard Drive Is So Damn Phony (And Funny)

See that picture of a supposed Wii hard drive? It's from a tipster, and a note on the Flickr page where it appears reads:

After several days, today I could shoot a prototype hard drive for the Wii. According to what we've been seeing these days, work is well underway and I think it could be submitted on July 15 at the Kodak Theatre.
I would like to have one to experiment ^_^

But this "prototype" is fake. Like, really, really, really fake. Hilariously so. Okay, let's say that Nintendo actually did put stickers on prototypes that read "Confidential Property of Nintendo". Hey, maybe they do! See that picture of the label? It's kind of hard to make out the Japanese, but there is Japanese. And Nintendo is a Japanese company. As a Japanese company, Nintendo does know how to use the Japanese language correctly. The person who made that sticker does not. At all. So let's look at where this "prototype hard drive" exposes itself as a big, fat faker. That, after the jump.

According to E3.net and various excited internet reports, Half-Life 2: Episode Three will be making its debut appearance at E3, just a few weeks away. According to the site, it will also be joined by titles like Kid Icarus and Animal Crossing for Wii. That'd be great news, if E3.net were the official E3 site, as some reports have claimed, and not an unofficial UGO owned web site.

According to Valve's marketing director Doug Lombardi Half-Life 2: Episode Three won't be making an appearance at E3 this year, with the listing chalked up to a "misprint (or something)." We would assume that if Valve is showcasing anything at E3 this year, it will be Left 4 Dead which is planned for a November 4 release.

This sounds like it'll dog Resident Evil 5 right up to the release date. We had Capcom/RE5/Microsoft exclusivity rumors going back to February and they were shot down then. Well, Videogaming247 this past week said a little birdie told them Capcom had "some big things to reveal at E3," in mid-July. PlayStationLifeStyle.net citing "from what I have been told" said that Microsoft had offered wads of lucre to get an exclusive crack at it a month ahead of Sony. Christian "Sven" Svensson knocked it down over on Capcom Unity. "The assertion is false. RE5 is a multiplatform release that fits with our oft-stated crossplatform strategy."

GayGamer notes that Svensson doesn't say which assertion is false — an offer of cash, or Capcom accepting — but "multiplatform release," means what it says, and thats moot. Also doesn't knock down the "big things" rumor about E3 but then, saying big things will be announced at that show is like saying a boxing match will feature people hitting each other in the face real hard.

Any Word if This is True or Not? [Capcom Unity, via GayGamer]

Square Enix Crushes Final Fantasy XIII Pachinko Rumors

In Japan, lots of video games get turned into pachinko or pachislot machines. No biggie! SNK, Sega and Konami have all spun off selected titles into pachinko parlors across the country. So when a rumor popped up that Square Enix was doing the same for Final Fantasy XIII, it did seem possible that, yes, Japan would be getting a FFXIII pachinko machine. No way! says Square Enix. In an official statement, the company says:

That is completely false information. Regarding FF, our company works very hard every day so that everyone can enjoy it as a game. There is currently no development being made [to bring FF to pachinko/pachi-slot machines].

Good, because Square Enix needs to focus on FFXIII and not other stuff.

『FFXIII』がパチンコ、パチスロに？” [Famitsu]

Late last month, magazine PSW stated that upcoming Metal Gear Solid 4 has 90 minute cutscenes — which, the magazine pointed out, could be skipped. Website GamePro fired back, confirming that the game does have "occasionally lengthy" cutscenes and calling the 90 minute cutscenes "a pretty big exaggeration." Magazine EDGE offered this in its review: "The cutscenes here are sure to invoke that thousand-yard stare, two in particular coming perilously close to the 90-minute mark." But what's the official word from Kojima Productions? Metal Gear Solid 4 Assistant Producer Ryan Payton tells Kotaku that the 90 minute cutscene claim is a "gross exaggeration." Hit the jump for his full statement and POSSIBLE SPOILER.

Those Aren't The Starcraft II System Specs You're Looking For

Those supposed Starcraft II system requirements? Lies. All lies. More like speculation really, as Blizzard was kind enough to let us know that the gang at Micromania "pulled their numbers straight out of thin air." We would suggest resting assured tonight that, when ready, and not a minute before, Blizzard will be telling you the exact minimum and recommended system requirements in an official capacity. That will most likely be, I'm guessing, after the company gives us a ship date and come in handy FAQ form.

Nope, No Diablo 3 Announcement Coming, Sorry

The last few days have been good sport for anyone who enjoys watching the internet conjure rumours out of sheer fantasy. Take the one concerning Diablo 3, for example. The teaser for next month's PC Gamer contained the line "so huge we had to go to [CENSORED] to get it," and from that nondescript sliver, we somehow got a ton of people convinced Diablo 3 is coming. And hey, it might be, sometime in the future, but not now, with PC Gamer telling Shacknews "we're officially squelching the Diablo rumor. We've got two big announcements coming in our August issue, but neither is from Blizzard". Case closed. Return to your Diablo fan forums and remain there until further notice.

PC Gamer Squelches Diablo 3 Rumor [Shacknews]

Boys Pay Hookers To Play Halo And...Oh, That Story Isn't Real

If you've been trawling the recesses of the internets for the past week or so, you may have come across a story about a pair of 13 year-old kids who lied about winning a WoW tournament, booked a swish hotel room then paid for two $1000-a-night hookers to come upstairs and play Halo with them. For their troubles, the pair have allegedly been "convicted of fraud". It'd be a pretty funny story if it was true. Thing is, it's not. Kiwi site Stuff actually bothered to check with the police in Newark, Texas, where the events supposedly took place, and were told:

As far as we know, this story is a hoax. There have not been any arrests here, and we're not aware of any convictions like that in this county.

Did a 13yo buy hookers with dad's credit card? [Stuff.co.nz, via GamePolitics]

SNK USA Is So Not Closing Down [Updated]

That "Release GTA IV Early" Letter? It's Not Real.

Sorry fanboys. Have you seen that letter from "Rockstar" conceding defeat to those already pirating GTA IV, urging Holland to ignore the April 29th release date as to not lose any more sales? Well, needless to say, it's not real. But if our own assurances aren't enough, Rockstar has confirmed that, no, it's not real.

Still, how anyone would have a heart dark enough to forge such a teasing document is beyond us.

Activision Denies Infinity Ward CoD Exclusivity

What a wonderful world it would be if Infinity Ward became the sole developer of the Call of Duty franchise, as rumors earlier today seemed to indicate, but it's one wonderful world that we won't be seeing anytime soon. Speaking to Eurogamer, Activision has vehemently denied the rumors.

A spokesperson for the publisher told Eurogamer it was a total fabrication, and that Treyarch and Infinity Ward would still alternately create installments in the shooter series.

Xbox 360 Remains Blu-ray-less

While there was some speculation of the Xbox 360 supporting the Blu-ray HD format, Microsoft's Aaron Greenberg has put that idea to rest. He says that Microsoft is not currently in talks with Sony about integrating Blu-ray into the system. Nor are there any SKUs for Xbox 360s with Blu-ray in the works. So there you have it. From Greenberg's mouth to our ears, there's no Blu-ray in the future of the Xbox 360.

Microsoft says no Blu-ray for Xbox 360 [Reuters, via Game Pro]

Microsoft: British Mag Taking The Piss, GoldenEye Not Coming To XBLA

The story in Xbox World 360 is based entirely on rumour and speculation. Unfortunately, we were never contacted by the publication to confirm information or participate in the story in any way, as we would have confirmed that we do not have the necessary rights to release GoldenEye on Xbox Live Arcade.

RumorSmash: 360 Gets GTA Online Exclusive

We were perplexed, yesterday, while listening to Larry Hryb's special mid-week interview with Don Mattrick, when we heard the Microsoft Entertainment boss seem to say that the Xbox 360 was not only getting exclusive downloadable content, but that online multiplayer support was also exclusive to the 360.

I'm really excited with GTA IV's downloadable content and online multiplayer support, again that's something that's unique to 360. We think consumers are gonna love that. It's gonna create what I would describe again as the premium experience on our platform.

It was weird to hear Mattrick seemingly bunch together those two things into a sentence about things unique to the 360. After doing some digging we found that it wasn't the first time Microsoft has made it sound like only the 360 is getting the online GTA play. To clear it up we contacted Rockstar, which was quick to respond, crushing the rumor, and perhaps Microsoft's hopes, under the heel of their steel-tipped boots.

"To answer your question, the PS3 version of the game will indeed have online multiplayer just as the 360 version does. "

Microsoft playing loose with the language or a genuine mistake? We'll probably never find out.

One of the best jokes we've heard at the Kotaku offices in a long time was the one in which Final Fantasy game director Motomu Toriyama had "promised" the thirteenth chapter of the series in 2008. Hilarious! Square Enix, on the other hand, wasn't exactly filled with laughter when mistranslations of a recent Famitsu article made their way online. It issued a statement today on chatter that this year would see the release of the ambitious PlayStation 3 RPG, writing that reports on Final Fantasy XIII's ship date were "erroneous and should be disregarded."

As far as a playable FFXIII demo? We're not holding our collective breath on that one either, as the team was hoping for something playable last summer according to reports from Dengeki.

ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING FINAL FANTASY XIII RELEASE DATE [Square Enix]

You elected one of your own to strike you down and ban like crazy. But, who were the other four finalists?

Yesterday we reported on a rumor that concerned the recent issues with Xbox Live being responsible for wiping out some of the achievements 360 gamers played hard to collect. Despite several comments on that story indicating otherwise, word from Microsoft's Larry Hryb is that this is not the case. The following comment appeared in Larry's Twitter widget early this morning.

Regardless of what you have read, achievements are not disappearing for users

This afternoon Microsoft officially responded to our request for a comment, saying mostly the same thing Hryb said:

Xbox LIVE is not erasing Achievement's earned while playing on the service. If any member is having trouble with their Xbox LIVE service, we urge them to contact 1-800-4-my-xbox.

For the record, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots is a PlayStation 3 exclusive and there are no plans to develop an Xbox 360 version of the game.