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Denver, 3:37 AM
Sat Dec 5
53 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #replaystudios more →

    Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England

    Frankenreview: Velvet Assassin

    "Young" Velvet Assassin Trailer Feels Old, Sounds Awful

    Velvet Assassin Trailer Evokes Disturbing Mental Picture

    Velvet Assassin Gets the Aeon Flux Treatment

    Uwe Boll Is Pleased With His Game, Then Again...

    Behind Enemy Lines With Velvet Assassin

    No Ass Monsters In Velvet Assassin

    Sabotage Thy Name Is Velvet Assassin

    Boll Movie Being Made Into Videogame
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Slatz_Grobnik Slatz_Grobnik
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    ... toward upgrading Summers' stealth, strength or morphine capacity.


    Golden Arm is a stat in this game? I am always - always - shocked at what the Moral Majority take umberage at, and what they don't.

     Reply
    Slatz_Grobnik was starred Slatz_Grobnik was unstarred
    Image of Silverbackne Silverbackne
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    Summers is relatively under-sexed by modern video game standards which makes it easier to take the game seriously.


    Which is why they have her in skin-tight patent leather, with her ass highlighted on the cover of game?

     Reply
    Silverbackne was starred Silverbackne was unstarred
    Image of Silverbackne Silverbackne
    05/12/09

    @Silverbackne: *the game
     Reply
    Silverbackne was starred Silverbackne was unstarred
    Image of Chalkdust Chalkdust
    05/12/09

    @Silverbackne: What did you think the game was about? Killing Nazis?


    [cache.gawker.com]

     Reply
    Chalkdust was starred Chalkdust was unstarred
    Image of D-K, Anarchist D-K, Anarchist
    05/12/09

    @Silverbackne: Your just not gonna be happy till they put some fat bitch on there, huh?
     Reply
    D-K, Anarchist was starred D-K, Anarchist was unstarred
    Image of LllusionX Mailed the Fission LllusionX Mailed the Fission
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    With her bad haircut, very angst filled personality, tendancy to knife a bunch of dudes, drug addictions, craziness, and utterly unappealing(to me) physique, i officially dub her a male character. (or a lesbian)


    :D


    -Lllusion X

     Reply
    LllusionX Mailed the Fission was starred LllusionX Mailed the Fission was unstarred
    Image of d_r_e d_r_e
    05/12/09

    @LllusionX loves the inFamous demo!(to death):


    Why in the hell are you signing your name at the bottom when it's listed at the top of your post? Also, way to troll.

     Reply
    d_r_e was starred d_r_e was unstarred
    Image of D-K, Anarchist D-K, Anarchist
    05/12/09

    @LllusionX loves the inFamous demo!(to death): Somewhere in your post the laws of attraction must have changed... We men love us some lesbians.


    also, how did you get that demo, i want insies

     Reply
    D-K, Anarchist was starred D-K, Anarchist was unstarred
    Image of UltimatePancakeSensation UltimatePancakeSensation
    05/12/09

    @LllusionX loves the inFamous demo!(to death): Are you talking about AJ or the main character?
     Reply
    UltimatePancakeSensation was starred UltimatePancakeSensation was unstarred
    Image of Antiterra Antiterra
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    I was hoping this game would turn out well, mostly because of the main character (for all the reasons AJ mentioned in the review). Ever since the first few trailers/videos, Violette felt like an intriguing and different character.

    She seemed like someone I could invest some interest and concern in. I may not be female, but I doubt I identify with burly marines much more than AJ does.


    Still, those positive elements - atmosphere, character and occasionally brilliant stealth - will be enough to make me at least try the game, warts and all.

    I won't drop 60 euros on it, but I'll probably take a stab at Violette when I can have her for cheap.

    ...Boy, that came out wrong.

     Reply
    Antiterra was starred Antiterra was unstarred
    Image of Cyco Cyco
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    I really have no desire to play the game. Any chance someone could spoil the ending for me so I know what is so bad about it?
     Reply
    Cyco was starred Cyco was unstarred
    Image of Meteoric Meteoric
    05/12/09

    @Cyco: A entire French village is decimated because of you. The man who you were suppose to assassinate is still alive and wants to exact revenge. You are captured, raped, tortured until you die.
     Reply
    Meteoric was starred Meteoric was unstarred
    Image of D-K, Anarchist D-K, Anarchist
    05/12/09

    @Meteoric: How the hell is that a bad ending?


    It's fresh, it's bold, it's not a goddamn nother happy end, it's twisted, sick and violent. Just like a war should end, and just like the end of braveheart.


    I'd throw of my hat to these sirs but i have no intrest in shooters and the like

     Reply
    D-K, Anarchist was starred D-K, Anarchist was unstarred
    Image of Kazaam_McFresh Kazaam_McFresh
    05/12/09

    I think when they spacedocked her corpse at the end, it was a little unnecessary.
     Reply
    Kazaam_McFresh was starred Kazaam_McFresh was unstarred
    Image of Antiterra Antiterra
    05/12/09

    @Kazaam_McFresh: What else did you expect? She was a Cylon after all, and historically, this all took place before humans and Cylons became best pals.
     Reply
    Antiterra was starred Antiterra was unstarred
    Image of AJ Glasser AJ Glasser
    05/12/09

    @Cyco: Seriously, the wreck a French village and you try to 'save' the villagers only to have to watch/listen to them all burn to death in a church where you get stuck in a firefight outside. Then, it turns out the guy you assassinated isn't dead and they don't actually TELL you what happens to Violette after she collapses on the ashes of the church -- they just show you some watercolor grassy field with her standing in it at the end looking at a bomber plane. Very unsatisfying.
     Reply
    AJ Glasser was starred AJ Glasser was unstarred
    Image of shaunmcilroy shaunmcilroy
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    To me, it's a fantasy where a woman character can be powerful and compelling without magic powers and huge tits. But that fantasy doesn't hold up against real life. In real life, spies run away, the actual Butcher of Paris survived WWII to be pardoned for his crimes, Violette Szabo died a horrible death and Velvet Assassin isn't worth the money.


    I love the bitterness in your voice? Do you intentionally always set out to talk about 'huge tits'and how games are sexist? Regardless five words needed to be said in that except.


    Velvet Assassin isn't worth the money.


    Nothing more.

     Reply
    shaunmcilroy was starred shaunmcilroy was unstarred
    Image of endaround endaround
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    Just wanted to mention given I've been hard on it before, you're writing lately has been much better AJ
     Reply
    endaround was starred endaround was unstarred
    Image of Troubadour Troubadour
    05/12/09

    @endaround: This post just broke my irony meter.
     Reply
    Troubadour was starred Troubadour was unstarred
    Image of Dr Durdon Dr Durdon
    05/12/09

    @Troubador: I laffed, and I can repair that meter for you.
     Reply
    Dr Durdon was starred Dr Durdon was unstarred
    Image of SmilingPolitely SmilingPolitely
    05/12/09

    @Troubador: Here, you can borrow mi-


    Oh shit, it's broken too.

     Reply
    SmilingPolitely was starred SmilingPolitely was unstarred
    Image of UltimatePancakeSensation UltimatePancakeSensation
    05/12/09

    @endaround: It would be nice if it didn't read like a bipolar suicide note.
     Reply
    UltimatePancakeSensation was starred UltimatePancakeSensation was unstarred
    Image of NeVeRMoRe666 NeVeRMoRe666
    05/12/09

    @endaround: lol...Sorry, I've had too much iron in my diet lately...
     Reply
    NeVeRMoRe666 was starred NeVeRMoRe666 was unstarred
    Image of Austin Walker Austin Walker
    05/13/09

    @endaround: I never really felt put off by AJ's writing to begin with, but I did really enjoy this review.
     Reply
    Austin Walker was starred Austin Walker was unstarred
    Image of Thorax Thorax
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    I support any game where the lead female doesn't sport mamoth tits.
     Reply
    Thorax was starred Thorax was unstarred
    Image of Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky
    05/12/09

    @Thorax: This. It's too bad, though, that they still went off and sexualized the game cover.
     Reply
    Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky was starred Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky was unstarred
    Image of Dr Durdon Dr Durdon
    05/12/09

    @Gorilla Snow is Maximum Risky: Totally off subject, but I have to ask. What's with all the posts that just say "this.?" It must be something from 4chan that I don't get, because I'm not a 4chan visitor. Your explanation will be appreciated.
     Reply
    Dr Durdon was starred Dr Durdon was unstarred
    Image of hermes200 hermes200
    05/12/09

    @Thorax: I guess they didn't never used the morphine. That was the moment when the under-sexed argument goes right through the door.
     Reply
    hermes200 was starred hermes200 was unstarred
    Image of Antiterra Antiterra
    05/12/09

    @hermes200: She's still relatively under-sexed, even in her nighties (the keyword here being "relatively", like AJ wrote, when you consider video game standards).


    Yes, the developers are clearly pandering when they undress Violette for the morphine sequences, but the way it's done doesn't look all that sexual to me.

    Hell, Lara's standard outfit is more sexed-up than Violette's lingerie (and let's not even talk about the DOA bimbos, Bayonetta, every female in a DMC game, or Drake's über-erotic half-untucked wet shirt clinging to his toned body).

     Reply
    Antiterra was starred Antiterra was unstarred
    Image of SmilingPolitely SmilingPolitely
    05/12/09

    @Dr Durdon: It's just an abbreviated form of "I agree with this," no? I don't frequent 4chan, so I can't comment on that. But that's what I inferred, anyway.
     Reply
    SmilingPolitely was starred SmilingPolitely was unstarred
    Image of Str8_Jihadin Str8_Jihadin
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    For England, James?
     Reply
    Str8_Jihadin was starred Str8_Jihadin was unstarred
    Image of Dr Durdon Dr Durdon
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    How are games this broken still released into retail? Don't they playtest the shit out of them befor the deadlines? Obviously these guys had to make cuts somewhere, but cutting out the testing phase was a bad choice.


    The mechanics seemed to work well enough, they should've spent time polishing it up instead of adding random shootouts. I was looking forward to a nice stealth game on the 360. Oh well.

     Reply
    Dr Durdon was starred Dr Durdon was unstarred
    Image of carrliadiere carrliadiere
    05/12/09

    @Dr Durdon:


    As someone who has worked in testing, I would say it is because they do not want to pay people who work in testing.

     Reply
    carrliadiere was starred carrliadiere was unstarred
    Image of Dr Durdon Dr Durdon
    05/12/09

    @carrliadiere: That's kind of where I was going -- it seems that they just skipped that process or the devs just sent copies of the games to their nieces and nephews for feedback.


    @van_line: I'm not familiar with the PS3's release quality since I don't own one. But if it's true that there are fewer buggy games, I'm more tempted to pick one up. Plus that whole BluRay thing I still have yet to adopt.

     Reply
    Dr Durdon was starred Dr Durdon was unstarred
    Image of Ashurahori Ashurahori
    05/12/09

    @Dr Durdon: Look at the Sonic games. The level design and bugs makes them nearly unplayable, and yet, they've passed testing. And so did another huge number of broken games. Alot of times, testing doesn't count for anything.
     Reply
    Ashurahori was starred Ashurahori was unstarred
    Image of WoundedBum WoundedBum
    05/12/09

    In reply to Velvet Assassin Review: Lie Back And Think Of England
    Cover is sexy.


    That's about it.

     Reply
    WoundedBum was starred WoundedBum was unstarred
    Image of Sylar will take the power from Crecente's hair Sylar will take the power from Crecente's hair
    05/12/09

    @WoundedBum: I feel it's a little too plain, not to mention it doesn't really scream stealth game.
     Reply
    Sylar will take the power from Crecente's hair was starred Sylar will take the power from Crecente's hair was unstarred
    Image of Wolf_Dog Wolf_Dog
    05/12/09

    @goboard117:


    I find it sad that we see her ass instead of her face on that cover and I blame all of YOU for it.

     Reply
    Wolf_Dog was starred Wolf_Dog was unstarred
    Image of zåɳzißårléɠёпȡ zåɳzißårléɠёпȡ
    05/12/09

    @Wolf_Dog: word up. plus the cover looks like ASS, no pun intended.
     Reply
    zåɳzißårléɠёпȡ was starred zåɳzißårléɠёпȡ was unstarred
    Image of dreamfall dreamfall
    05/09/09

    In reply to Frankenreview: Velvet Assassin
    hmmm, didn't i hear something about taint stabbing? yuck.
     Reply
    dreamfall was starred dreamfall was unstarred
    Image of jayntampa jayntampa
    05/08/09

    In reply to Frankenreview: Velvet Assassin
    I know it got bad reviews, but I still picked it up. I tend to like this kind of game, even when others don't. We'll see, though, won't we :P
     Reply
    jayntampa was starred jayntampa was unstarred
    Image of Jonman Jonman
    05/08/09

    In reply to Frankenreview: Velvet Assassin
    A trick missed I feel. The cover art needs to highlight the ASS in assassin.
     Reply
    Jonman was starred Jonman was unstarred
    Image of Billkwando Billkwando
    05/08/09

    In reply to Frankenreview: Velvet Assassin
    I just realized that Velvet Assassin, Wet, and Bayonetta aren't all the same game.


    The posts run together in my mind.

     Reply
    Billkwando was starred Billkwando was unstarred
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