Remember, if you're a Madden gamer and want in on the KFC (Kotaku Football Conference), that announcement will be at 1 pm MDT (3 pm Eastern, noon Pacific)

This one apparently came off of Facebook. I friended the guy who created/posted it, I'll let you know if anything comes of that. Also, someone run out and register www.muahahahahahahahahaha.com

And proof again there is nothing new under the sun.

[Oregon Trail pic]
[Zelda pic]
[Princess Peach pic at Motivated Photos]

Look closely because there's a ton of detail here. The cake's base is inspired by the beach level in Mario Galaxy; the middle layer (just underneath the castle) is a kind of spiral bas-relief drawing on the scenery in the Super Mario Brothers worlds; and the massive castle at the top, Frank says that came from a phony screenshot back when people were talking about the "Nintendo Revolution" as the third-gen console. I'm not a structural engineer, but there has gotta be a load bearing wall somewhere within the standard cake layers below, because it looks like a ton of fondant and heavy sugary mortar up there.

Congratulations to Frank and Paige and best wishes from Kotaku.

Source material for the beach:

For the middle column:

For the castle:

"She just happens to be. She's a fat princess. It happens."

"She can have cake, but not Carl's Jr. Back away from the fastfood princess."

Thanks DavidXSee for the tip!

We've covered a bit of the reaction against the game, a strategy title that's a little bit capture-the-flag — except in this case, the "flag" is a very fat girl, made difficult to move because her captors are tasked with feeding her cake. Reactions have ranged from the constructively mild — Feminist Gamers wonders why fat chicks are considered "cute" and suggests a heavy treasure chest instead — to the bilious.

Shakesville writer Melissa McEwan writes, sarcastically, "I'm positively thrilled to see such unyielding dedication to creating a new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative assholes," and completed her protest with a photo dubbing herself "The Fat Princess of Shakesville Manor" — and flipping the bird, presumably to Sony.

The angle that the majority of the media seems to want to go with is "Feminists cry foul over Fat Princess," though whether someone is fat or thin is truly a feminist issue is debatable, one supposes. So shall we debate?

It's unfortunate that society has such a narrow range of figures that people are allowed to have in order to be considered attractive, and the general conception is that a fat man is somewhat more empathetic a creature than a fat woman, as unfair as that is.

But what's wrong with a fat princess?

On one hand, obesity is a serious health problem, and it's understandable that those who confront it might not wish their issue to be relegated to a video game mechanic, a source of laughs. Fat Princess ostensibly intends to be cute and funny, and perhaps it's offensive to think of fat girls as "cute and funny."

Instead of what, though? Princess Peach isn't fat, but she's cute and funny too, isn't she?

Complicating the issue is the fact that the concept of overweight woman as comic relief has been part of our culture for quite some time; we have quite a few femme comediennes who embrace their fat as a form of beauty and independence from social pressure. They prove that being fat needn't be some great, offensive social secret.

So what's the alternative for the princess? Should she not be fat, because thin girls are cute and funny while fat ones are not? Would it have been better to make her a typical, idealized female? Or must we be so sensitive that we are no longer allowed to rescue the princess, as we have done in our fairy tales for centuries, at all?

Is the problem with Fat Princess the fact that making her fat is something of a form of torture by her enemies? Because getting fat is a beautiful thing, or because getting fat is a terrible thing? There are, to be fair, reasons for fat girls, thin girls and feminists to be a little affronted by the game, but it's really not clear what the specific reason is, precisely, or what the solution might be.

James Green, lead art director on Fat Princess, told Yahoo! that the game's concept artist is female. I'm female, and when I first saw screens for Fat Princess, my only reaction was, "It looks cute."

I hate when we as an audience dismiss debates on issues in video games by saying "it's just a game." But I don't think that the things we see in games are necessarily reflections on ourselves or about us; the fat princess is not a spokesperson for all women, or even all fat women, and I'm most curious about the critics who chose to see her as a statement on themselves or their role as women in the real world.

Ultimately, though, wouldn't removing the fat girl, or the issue of obesity, from the game because they bring too many issues into play be precisely the wrong message to send to women?

So, sorry, no bursting-at-the-cups Ivy from SCIV in this one, just good ol' 2D renders, and maybe some cabinet art. The list features Marian from Double Dragon (seriously, they punched her in the stomach at the beginning of Double Dragon. And no one batted an eye!) Carmen Sandiego and Meryl Silverburgh from MGS. But leading off is Pauline from Donkey Kong, who's dressed like she belongs in a polygamist cult. Pauline was sort of the George Lazenby of the Mario franchise. Made one big appearance and that was it, although she did get some TV work out of it. I hope Pauline's still cashing royalty checks, spending them on cheap whiskey and ranting about Princess Peach.

Mediocre Game Babes [Games Radar]

Site Feminist Gamer writes that the Darkstar Industries developed title may "reinforce nasty stereotypes about women and the obese," calling the mechanic of excessively feeding the portly, titular princess "fat-bashing."

Friend of the site, Melissa "Shakes" McEwan is also pissed, implying that the game will spawn a "new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative assholes." Clearly, this is one powerful game!

As we tend not to be pre-offended by these types of things — probably due to caveman like ignorance — we were a bit surprised to see such a loud reaction. Just kidding, it's the internet. We were, however, genuinely surprised to be so disappointed by the results of a Google Image Search for "fat princess."

We won't make that mistake again.

As for the Fat Princess "controversy," we have little faith that the game will change its content in any way as to make it inoffensive for all interested parties.

Fat Princess [Feminist Gamers]

The most exciting title Natsume is bringing? Princess Debut, hands down. We posted about it before, and the DS game is broken down into three parts: rhythm game, princess dress-up and find a prince. The game takes place within the thirty days before a big ball. The game has multiple endings in story mode, and the dancing sequences use full motion capture. It's even possible to watch footsteps on the dance sequence and learn the steps.

The game is geared towards the female pre-teen ('tween) audience, and while Princess Debut doesn't make any misgivings about its girlyness, the game doesn't appear to be shovelware in the least. While checking out Natsume's line-up, Princess Debut went from being the game we were least interested in to the game we were the most interested in. Hey, who doesn't want to play rhythm games, learn to actually dance and find a prince?! Princess Debut debuts later this year.

Frantic and fun, Fat Princess pits two hordes of players against each other in comic medieval battle royale. Your goal is to rescue your beloved princess from the enemy dungeon. There’s a catch though: your adversary has been stuffing her with food to fatten her up and it’s going to take most of your army working together to carry her back across the battlefield.

Yes. It's 16v16, online carnage, as you fight over - and drag - a morbidly obese woman across the battlefield. There's 10 maps, five character classes, and one writer's captured heart.

It sounds a little bit rhythm-action, a little bit dating sim (not the hentai kind of dating sim, of course). Players become a princess and have 30 days to master dance moves and woo one of six princes to be their partner, over the course of a branching, event-driven storyline before the dance portion begins.

There are 20 different outfits, 14 endings and 18 different musical styles like Waltz, Latin, Dance, Tango and Ballroom. Natsume knows its audience (e.g, me) — I'm generally not into "games for girls" per se, but multiple endings, tons of unlockables, romance and rhythm gameplay? Seriously, I'm so there.

Admit it, guys — this sounds kind of cool to you, too, right? Right?!

Dance Into a Prince's Heart With Natsume's Original IP Exclusively For DS

Burlingame, Calif., July 10, 2008 - Natsume, a worldwide developer and publisher of family-oriented video games, announced today a new original IP, Princess Debut, a rhythm and adventure game for girls. The game is coming to the Nintendo DS system this fall. Published and developed by Natsume, Princess Debut offers gamers the chance to step through a portal into a magical world where they become a princess. Girls will have to master their dance moves and woo one of the six charming princes in time for the big ball!

"What young girl doesn't dream of becoming a princess? Princess Debut transports girls into that magical fairytale world while introducing elements of dance and music," said Hiro Maekawa, President and CEO at Natsume. "Princess Debut is a fun rhythm and adventure game with some of the most beautiful and fluid dancing ever seen in a DS title."

In the game, players find themselves in a fantasy world where they have 30 days to get ready for the big ball; they'll have to master their dance moves and win over one of the six handsome princes to be their partner. They'll meet and woo the princes through the game's large, branching storyline and exciting event system. Once the player convinces a prince to be their dancing partner, it's time to go out on the dance floor! Players will use the Touch Screen to guide their character gracefully across the dance floor while matching their partner's rhythm. All of the dances in the game are taken from motion-captured professional dancers, so the game is just as impressive to watch as it is fun to play.

Princess Debut offers four modes of play including Story, Ballroom, Practice, and Movie. With 20 outfits to find, 14 unique endings to experience, and 18 different kinds of music and dance styles to choose from (including Waltz, Latin dance, Tango, Ballroom, and much more), there's no shortage of things to see and do!

Princess Debut will be available exclusively for the Nintendo DS this fall. For more information on Princess Debut, please visit www.natsume.com.

###

Please understand that snapshots depicting inappropriate content or containing inappropriate comments will not be eligible for selection.

To this point, I've received a great number of screenshots that focus on peeking at the undergarments of certain Brawl combatants. So let me just say it again—shots like these will never be posted to the Dojo or sent out to users via the Smash Service.

Screenshot Collection #2 [Smash Bros. Dojo!! - Thanks Stephen!]]

Anime Expo 2007 [i360 via Go Nintendo]

Twilight Hack [WiiBrew via Maxconsole]

I'm actually quite surprised that folks confined to retirement homes and elder care facilities aren't finding the orderly-killing simulation in Manhunt 2 more appealing than Wii bowling. Oh God, I'm so horribly depressed.

Possibly NSFW, depending on where you work!

Smash Bros X [My Game News Flash]

The process is far from simple as once you modify a save game it requires it be to signed with 3 keys. Here's some info from Bushing.

"Once the Wii decrypts the save game, it checks its signature. Every Wii has its own private key which is used to sign save games, and when you save a game, the Wii actually saves three bits of data:

* The encrypted save game
* The signature for the save game (using your console's private key)
* A copy of your console's public key, signed by Nintendo."

Of course, the end user wouldn't have to go through this process unless they were wanting to inject their own code into the save game, but that shouldn't be necessary...

By The Numbers: The Forbes Fictional 15 [Forbes.com - Thanks Greg's Wife!]

The "video game" adaptation of Rob Reiner's 1987 classic romantic adventure comedy The Princess Bride isn't actually a game, by the official site's own admission. It's merely an "animated online entertainment experience." It's the Nutrasweet of adventure gaming, a sickeningly chemical hint of a game that looks to add nothing to the film, merely acting as a crudely animated, gratingly voice acted, casual targeted impostor.

It's coming to Windows, Mac OSX and Linux, but don't expect much for your $17. The only amusement I've received from this monstrosity so far is the misspelling of the title on the official site, who erroneously refer to it as The Princess Bridge Game. Hahaha! *sobs*

Shadowgrounds Survivor (PC)
Fight against aliens for control of the planet.

Geometry Wars: Galaxies (DS)
Now smaller and with multiplayer!

Boogie (DS)
Dance the night away on your DS.

Omega Five (XBLA)
A new sidescrolling shooter on LIVE.

Cruis'n (WII)
Racing to the Wii.

Cranium Kabookii (WII)
The board game in video game form.

Master of Illusion (DS)
Learn magic tricks. Fun at parties, fool your friends.

Speedball 2 - Tournament (PC)
Future sports hurt.

Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords (WII)
The insanely addictive RPG puzzle game continues it's system wide dominance.

Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey (PC)
You know you want it.

Slightly NSFW Costumes [3wishes via Dark Diamond]

1. It's a PC download.
2. It's aimed at the casual market.
3. A demo will come alongside the release of The Princess Bride 20th Anniversary DVD (reinforcing that casual game point pretty firmly).
4. The company developing it also makes this game.

Like never conceiving the color blue or the taste of homogenized cheese, I never knew until I read this announcement that I would love a full-fledged game based upon the canon of The Princess Bride. Sure, it could be cheesy. But in the right hands—hell, screenwriter William Goldman might be game—you could have a Monkey Islandesque adventure complete with a "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die," expanding health bar.

And while we have no real details about the game and I've jumped to too many conclusions already, the possibility for a decent Princess Bride game seems...this brings me no joy...inconceivable.

In honor of my personal heartbreak, maybe we could all dork out with our favorite quotes in the comments. And then, if you aren't too busy, you could attend church this Sunday. No particular faith? Try all of them if you have time.

Vid game is next chapter in fairy tale [via bluesnews]

Being a failed mechanical creature, Mr. Cuddles was throw out with the trash, after which he turned to cross-dressing and prostitution to make money for a place to live and to support his growing alcohol and drug dependency. Yeah, it's getting a bit deep.

So the drug-addicted, alcoholic, cross-dressing prostitute mechanical rabbit meets the cello player who can kill with a touch, and together they go on a journey to find acceptance in a world that doesn't want them or fears them.

The Rose Princess herself is inspired by Megan McCauley, a singer/songwriter from Cleveland Ohio whose work includes songs on both the Fantastic Four and Elektra Soundtracks. If you hop to her MySpace you'll immediately see the resemblance. Bernard calls McCauley his "artistic muse", and is hoping to get her to lend her voice to the main character in the game.

Bernard calls The Rose Princess a "Glam Action RPG", and considers it to be his chef d'oeuvre - his masterpiece. Unlike Eternity's Child, the game will be entirely 3D with a completely cello-based soundtrack. He hopes to release it in episodic format, and while no platform has been chosen yet for the game he is very interested in the PlayStation Network.

Below you'll find some concept art for the game featuring the titular Rose Princess and her bunny companion. It's a pretty avant-garde concept for the video game industry, but perhaps that's exactly what we need to generate something fresh and new in a business that tends to feed on itself a bit too much.

Camy Hero Pack Product Page [Camy International]

AUTOGRAPHED Club Nintendo Mario Family Set eBay
[Thanks, Steven]

"We are looking forward to providing the horse-enthusiast community with a rich and authentic game that allows gamers to take care of and compete in a variety of challenges with their horse." said Emily Anadu, Senior Product Manager, Atari Inc. "The game's distinctive and charming depiction of these noble animals is sure to win the hearts of horse devotees."

Atari Announces the Definitive FEI Licensed Equestrian Sports and Lifestyle Game, Coming to PC, Wii and Nintendo DS this Fall

NEW YORK, July 18: - Atari, Inc. (Nasdaq: ATAR), one of the world's most recognized brands and a third-party video game publisher, today announced that it will publish My Horse and Me, the complete horseback riding and equestrian lifestyle video game experience for PC, Wii and Nintendo DS. Boasting the first and only exclusive worldwide license from the world's foremost horse sports organization, the Federation Equestre Internationale FEI (International Equestrian Federation), My Horse and Me features a realistic and immersive video game representation of the world of equestrian sports and is being developed by W!Games for Wii and PC and by Mistic for the DS.

Delivering all the excitement and fun of the equestrian life, from sports and leisure riding to horse care, My Horse and Me is a unique gaming experience for anyone with an interest or passion for horses. The game features the most accurate horse models and animations yet realized in a video game, alongside a richly rewarding game play experience, all set against a beautiful backdrop of charming indoor and outdoor environments.

"We are looking forward to providing the horse-enthusiast community with a rich and authentic game that allows gamers to take care of and compete in a variety of challenges with their horse." said Emily Anadu, Senior Product Manager, Atari Inc. "The game's distinctive and charming depiction of these noble animals is sure to win the hearts of horse devotees."

My Horse and Me has a rich variety of game play modes and options to give players a deep and rewarding experience. The Championship mode lets the player take part in competitions at indoor and outdoor locations around the globe ranging from rustic stables and classical riding schools to world-class tournament locations. A series of fun mini-games offer a variety of game play experiences alongside rewarding horse care game play and extensive customization.

The first horse sports simulation game to launch for Wii, My Horse and Me on Wii and PC is the first title of its kind to offer both first and third person camera modes, putting riders right in the saddle and creating a perfect training tool for practicing disciplines that riders face in real life.

I say she almost nailed the exact thickness of the Lite, do you agree?

Zelda Kanji Function In Action [Naruhodo]

It's because of gamers that games have come as far as they have... it's not Nintendo's intent to alienate those people... We think we can involve everyone — people who played games in the past because the approach is so new, and people who were never gamers.

Alienate Gamers [Infendo]

Virginia high school student Andrew sends us what could be best described as a Nintendo marketer's wet dream. He writes:

Last Friday, for my gym class's Physical Fitness Final Exam, my teacher brought in 3 Wiis and an Xbox, all hooked up to LCD projectors projected on the walls of the gym. For 2 hours we had tournaments on 2 of the Wiis in Wii Sports, Wii Play, Excite Truck, and Wario Ware while others played Twilight Princess on another and DDR on the xbox. We were also given the option of playing basketball but all 20 people in my class were more interested in Wii.

It's no surprise that Nintendo has been kicking ass and taking names over the past year with the Wii and the DS. As a matter of fact, the NPD numbers prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Well, this month's NPD Group numbers are no exception, seeing the Wii and DS as the number one selling systems in the U.S.

This time however, instead of sending out a static business email filled with numbers, Nintendo has enlisted their own Princess Peach to deliver the news. Cute and corny? Yes, but at least it's not dull and boring. More emails should be like this. Because let's face it, who wouldn't want to get a message from Peach?

Make the jump to read Peach's communique'! Flynn De Marco

Oh, my! All this attention is enough to make a girl blush!

As a princess I'm used to being adored, but this is just too much! I know I'm probably sounding like a broken record, but once again my friends at the NPD Group are telling me that Wii and Nintendo DS finished May as the most popular systems in the United States.

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful support! Nintendo couldn't have made it back to the top without you. You're all Mario-caliber heroes in my book.

Now I'm not one to brag, but some of the top games of this month happen to feature someone very pretty and popular - me! I'm talking about the super-fun Mario Party 8 and Super Paper Mario for Wii. Sure, Mario gets top billing, but from where I sit (on my throne), I'd say he's earned it. Besides, my own game on Nintendo DS, Super Princess Peach, is still selling strong, showing that a girl can do anything she puts her mind to.

I think all my Super Princess Peach fans would have just as much fun working to earn their Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree. I'm not in that one, but don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Be sure to watch for me in my super-stylish soccer gear in Mario Strikers Charged, which arrives on Wii on July 30. I can't wait!

Kisses!

Peach

Japanese developer Spike released first screens of its Nintendo DS-bound figure skating game Spinning Princess: Figure Sparkling Ice Angel back in January to many hooray!s, but first video of the supposed "sport" playable with a stylus is now available. They've added some interesting touchscreen mechanics and managed to make even harsh figure skating critics like myself raise an eyebrow in interest. Training mini-games, dozens of glittering costume choices and thrilling ice competitions with stylus action? Sign me my girlfriend up! Michael McWhertor

Amazon.com's Deal of the Day is often pretty crappy, but today they're actually listing something worth having for all you Gamecube owners. Today's special is the GC version of The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess for a mere $32.99. It's available with their free Super Saver Shipping if you don't mind waiting a couple of extra days, which, if you've waited this long to get it, probably isn't an issue. Flynn De Marco

Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess [Amazon.com]

Wow, that Peach sure does get around. Just a few months back we get an invitation to her wedding to Bowser and now she's marrying Link? But then I think we all know about Peach's questionable morals.

It really reminds me of the illustrations in the Little Golden Books I had as a kid. Some of my favorite parts of this image are Link's tie and the silhouettes of Pikachu, Megaman and Fox McCloud in the background. I also question exactly what Luigi is looking at as he wipes his tears away... Flynn De Marco

Nintendo Plot Twist [YTMND]
[via GayGamer]

Holy smoke! Jonathan Keller over at crafty site c71123 got Princess Peach cross-stitched on this shirt by his mom. Why would anyone want a giant Peach on their sleeve? Jonathan explains:

A fair question, and well, it's because I'm a huge dork. A little background:

• I'm currently really into embroidery
• I spend way too much time in front of a computer
• I've always thought that the grid-pattern on my dress shirt looked like pixels
• I love Super Mario Bros.
• Lately, I'm a major queen (though many would argue this is not a recent event)

Next big thing: Retro gaming sleeves? Let's hope. Brian Ashcraft

Amazing Peach Sleeve [c71123 via NOTCOT.org]

OH COME ON. These Twilight Princess Wii-mote add-ons aren't even trying. For US $29.99, you'd think that they could make something that wasn't so rotten. Can you imagine sitting in your house, gaming with these things? Or worse yet, the individuals who have already purchased these? *Shudder* Brian Ashcraft

Bad Zelda Peripherals [FRY'S via Fashionfunky]