Bayonetta's Got It, Flaunts It:
Without a doubt, Bayonetta was the high-amp vamp of gaming in 2009, and she hasn't even hit North America yet. In Japan, the ass-kicking, pistol-packing, hair-whipping witch with the naughty librarian look earned critical acclaim from no less than the Japanese director of the cinematic tour de force "Would You Like To Get An Enema Until You Poop?" Stateside and elsewhere, she emerged from relentless early comparisons to another gun enthusiast MILF, Sarah Palin, to become the undisputed cosplaying rookie of the year.

GTA: The Schlong and the Damned
The year's first major NSFW story came out of Rockstar, which broke new ground in Grand Theft Auto: The Lost and Damned by becoming the first video game to show flaccid congressman dong. Fahey then bravely examined the historical importance of this depiction by providing a recap of nudity in games, "the good, the bad and the ugly." Hey, two out of three is bad.

Cussing-Outs and Swearing-Ins:
NSFW doesn't just mean T&A. Bad language also qualifies, and we had hilarious highlights for that, too. Grandma Hardcore, the game-playing senior citizen, spewed filth-flarn-flarn-filth-flarn over Brütal Legend. Ice-T (in a video featuring his NSFW wife, Coco) went apeshit playing Modern Warfare before demanding a Snapple to quench his thirst. And Ozzy Osbourne, talking to Fahey at Blizzcon, was just, well, Ozzy.

Just Two Words: Demon Tits
BioWare RPG's are eminently serious affairs, but the sex factor in Dragon Age: Origins' pre-release publicity got a little silly. The game gave us gay hookups with elves, brothel encounters with livestock, and everyone doing it with their underpants still attached. And, of course, Demon Tits.

Sheva-va-voom
Bayonetta and Dragon Age were far from the only titles ramping up the sex appeal. Resident Evil 5 opened the year with Sheva, and enabled gamers to instantly center the camera on her chest. This is especially useful once you unlock her secret tribal costume.

Boob! Headshot!
In October, two elite Counter Strike teams from Russia face off, but the event's promoter throws in a little "force multiplier" - a room full of strippers, disrobing and gyrating beside, over and on their monitors. The team forZe kept its focus and defeated rival Virtus.pro.

Attachments and Oddities
A product called the "Joydick" needs zero introduction, and I'll spare you from the description. And a tiny title offered over the Xbox Indie Games channel, which turns your controller into a rumbling vibrator, added console peripherals to the list of hiding-in-plain-sight sex toys. Slightly less sexy: The handcrafted Pokémon menstrual pad for $8 whose up-side I couldn't correctly identify. Finally, a lawsuit over virtual sex toys in Second Life gave us a darkhorse candidate for the Oxford English Dictionary's word of the year: "Fuck Coffins."

Things Seen and Never Unseen
Mario and Peach made a tape that, like much of porn, has sex but is soooooo far from sexy. The Mushroom Kingdom's top plumber also laid some pipe with Lara Croft in this unaccountably weird video from, where else, Germany, which also featured Pong sex. In that vein, have you ever wanted to see a Tetris piece masturbate? No? Too bad, here it is.

The Second Sexiest Game of 2009
Left 4 Dead instantly spun off a robust modding community; too bad it chose to use its powers for evil, giving us the Nude Zoey Mod. Because, hey, nothing's hotter than blasting apart the leprous undead with a saucy deshabille look. It wasn't L4D's only brush with the naughty-naughty. Horny infected took to the personal ads for our Valentine's Day prank, where they hooked up with a horde even more mindlessly disgusting - the Craigslist casual encounter lurkers. Finally, porn gave the zombie FPS the ultimate compliment, a sex flick punning the title, named "Left 4 Head."

Munn's the Word
G4's "Attack of the Show" co-host took (most of) it all off for Playboy in June, despite a relentless haranguing from a Playboy stylist to try going commando under imaginary pants. Munn refused, saying the outfits they had in mind would have made her vadge "look like a Honeybaked Ham." Way to work it, Olivia! Geeks were in high dudgeon, because there is no other kind of dudgeon, over Playboy's beyond-the-pale exploitation of their hormones. Or just that it was a Tuesday. Many made the shocking declaration that she just wasn't hot enough, although Munn, as of press time, had no plans to do any of them.

Porn O'Plenty
In September, Vivid Entertainment's CEO says his firm is interested in getting its seminal works (ha ha, get it?) available for download over the PlayStation Network, an offer Sony ignored discreetly (in a plain brown wrapper.) But he's far from the only figure in adult entertainment to make the games crossover in 2009. Bobbi Starr, the X-Rated Critics Organization's regining "Superslut" finds work at E3 as a booth babe for Dirt 2. Porn legend Ron Jeremy joins actresses Krissy Lynn and Andy San Dimas (taking the whole use-your-address-as-a-porn-name motif a little seriously) in Fairytale Fights trailer promos of a viral nature, but not the one that sends you down to the free clinic. Finally, adult star Raven Alexis, an avowed World of Warcraft enthusiast, closes out the year with her five-step plan to winning the heart of a gamer girl - provided, of course, you know one in real life.

English Russia reports that

"it was impossible to put an attention of those hopeless men off. The game was drawing to a close and the ladies were sweating as much as they could, but the eyes of the tough players were nailed to the screens tight."

In the matchup, the team forZe bested rival Virtus.pro.

I pulled ten pics from English Russia, galleried at left. There are tons more at the link.

Hot Gaming [English Russia, thanks to Kevin!]

The brown-eyed, pigtailed 22-year-old, who describes herself as a "reality porn star", just signed on with porn powerhouse Digital Playground and her first movie is set for a Dec. 29 release.

But that's her public face. Her secret life is one of guilty, geeky pleasures: LAN parties, Star Trek, World of Warcraft and building and modding her own PCs.

"I started playing video games when I was 13 or 14, when Age of Empires came out, and I've been playing ever since," Alexis told Kotaku in a recent interview.

Alexis refers to her gaming habits as her "alter life", an interesting choice of words for someone in her business.

"I've been playing World of Warcraft since it came out and have played every expansion since," she said. "I play Tiger Woods and other games. I love it, it's my alter life."

Unlike some other adult actors and actresses who form industry guilds or use their real names in game, Alexis prefers to play anonymously.

"My alternate live is very nerdy," she said. "I love playing people online and them not knowing who I am. It is really relaxing for me, kind of an escape, you know?

"I kind of have tried to maintain my anonymity. It's the one place I can play and not have people talk to me about what I do. For me, it's not about talking to people, it's about bashing people."

Alexis says she has a lot of characters in World of Warcraft, her favorite game, including a level 72 Night Elf Druid, a level 44 Tauren Hunter and a level 64 Blood Elf Mage.

"I usually try to play female characters," she said. "I keep a couple of guy characters too. I have several different accounts, so they have different names."

Alexis' self-professed love of gaming goes far beyond your typical mainstream gamer. Her other hobby is building and modding computers.

"I have a couple of different computers," she said. "I have a PC I built out for gaming, a Mac Pro for editing and site building and I have a server back up I host my stuff off of. I also have a Toshiba laptop."

"I'm pretty spoiled."

Alexis sounds proudest of her main computer, one she built herself and installed in a homemade transparent, baby-blue plexiglass case.

"I have water-cooling in there, I picked up the new i7975 extreme edition CPU," she said. "I have it set up as a dual boot with XP 32-bit and Vista 64.

"I don't have Windows 7 yet, but I'm exciting about picking it up. I'm going to try out the 32 and 64 to see which makes more sense."

She says she didn't get into PC modding and building until she went to college.

"I got hooked up with a bunch of kids that got into LAN tournaments," she said. "I wanted to compete and be a bad ass with a cool machine.

"I really just enjoy it, it's so different than anything else I do. It keeps me fresh and going."

Alexis says she's never had the chance to combine her career with her love of gaming culture, something like World of Whorecraft, but she would jump at the opportunity.

"If Digital Playgrounds decides to do something like that, role-playing or fantasy, I'd would love to do it," she said. "I'm a big Star Trek fan too."

I asked Alexis if she gets annoyed that people are surprised that an attractive adult actress like herself would play video games.

"It's not annoying, it's a little surprising," she said. "I've met a lot of cool women that play video games through LAN tournies. What surprises people is that I'm hot and a porn star and a player, but that has nothing to do with it, gaming is so popular now."

"My gaming should be about what I do, not who I am."

Spotted on Machinima's YouTube feed, this PG-rated commercial for the Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 game features a whopping nine seconds of actual gameplay footage to about 30 seconds of "acting" from the adult film stars Ron Jeremy, Krissy Lynn and Andy San Dimas.

Based on the pictures we saw of the shoot, though, there might be more than just this version of the viral vid out there. Like what happens after the Naked Emperor orders Red Riding Hood and Snow White to kiss.

Thanks, Jessica!

The official announcement may call it "our version of those old choose your own adventure stories," but we recognize it as a slightly more tattooed dating sim. The goal? Pick up Zoli Suicide at a comic book store by making the right conversational choices, enjoy a "sexy 17+ make out session with her." Oh, it doesn't sound nearly as deep as other dating sim game offerings, but how many Tokimeki Memorials end with a undies only action in a comic book shop bathroom?

Failure to pick up Zoli will result in on-screen humiliation and no make out. Does this virtual random encounter sound like your cup of tea? 99 cents at the App Store and its yours for the one-handed playing.

Seduce A SuicideGirl [iTunes]

The week that was in Kotaku originals:

Porn
So About Those Porn Stars And That Trailer…

Kotaku Talk Radio
Chat Live With the Man Behind Tony Hawk: Ride Next Week

K8

Columns
Well Played: Why Everyone Should Be Watching the PSPgo
Notebook Dump: The Lack Of Zelda
Stick Jockey: A Virtual Golfer Looks Back On - and Ahead to - His Tournament Career
Tim Rogers: i've been shot!

Top Stories
When the Going Gets Tough... Let the Game Play Itself
"Kind Code" Demo Shows New Super Mario Bros on Auto-Pilot
PSP Game Price Check: Playstation Store Vs. Used UMD
Activision Subtracts From 7 Studios, Hits Ex-Scratch Dev With Layoffs
Xbox 360 May Get Its Own Avatar Arcade

Previews, Reviews, Hands-On and Impressions
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days Review: Crisis Hearts
South Park Let's Go Tower Defense Play! Review: Throwing Snowballs
Jam Sessions 2 Preview: I Fought The Law And Nobody Won
Katamari Forever Review: Nothing More, Nothing Less
Frankenreview: Wii Fit Plus
Left 4 Dead 2 Scavenge Mode Preview: Giving Multiplayer The Gas
FATALE Preview: Alluring, Alarming and Totally Ambiguous
MotorStorm: Arctic Edge Review: Big Game, Big Fun
Global Conflicts: Child Soldiers Preview: Show Me, Don't Tell Me
Live Test of Facebook on the Xbox 360
Frankenreview: Dead Space Extraction
Wii Fit Plus Review: Now I'm A Believer
Gran Turismo PSP Review: Steady As A Pace Car
Spyborgs Review: Not-So-Heavy Metal
New Super Mario Bros. Wii Preview: All The Modes, All The Chaos
NHL 2K10 Review: Thin-Ice Capades
MySims Agents Review: Sherlock Holmes Didn't Have To Deal With This $#@%

Features
The Rare Art Of Not Explaining Everything
Is Single-Player Gaming In Danger Of Extinction?
The Role of Music Games

News
A Light-Gun Shooter Built For Romance
Ratchet & Clank, Uncharted 2 Coming Home
So Now I Have A PSPgo
Show Us Your Wii History
No, That's Not a 32-Foot-Tall Big Daddy Stalking Berlin
Computer Classic Archon Returning to PC
Koei's Sengoku Musou 3 Bundles
Sengoku BASARA Character For Governor!
Possible Innovation: Continues That Count Up
Christian Science Monitor Wrings Hands Over Modern Warfare 2's D.C.
Game Journalist Shake-Up Shifts Personnel At Several Outlets
iPhone Chart Toppers: Attack of the Diablo Clone
Ready To Rat Out R4 Sellers? Nintendo Is Here To Help

Numbers and Trends
Your Amazing, Disturbing Wii Play Times
Sony: PSP/PSPgo Sales Triple at Some Retailers
The Ten Most Avidly-Played Wii Games In America (As Of Oct 1)

After going through the "How long have you been doing hardcore?" motions, we get to the interesting stuff — Ms. Alexis' five-year-long career in WoW, her preference for Star Trek: The Next Generation and Battlestar Galactica. I'm sure Crecente will do a follow-up in the name of journalistic integrity on par with his World of Whorecraft feature.

If this is the sort of thing you'd like to retain in your memory bank—people who play World of Warcraft and regularly have sex on film—you may want to do some "reading" over at Fleshbot. Just remember, they card at the door.

Meet Raven Alexis: Your WoW-Playing, Star Trek-Loving, PC-Modding Crush Object [Fleshbot]

Adult film actresses Krissy Lynn and Andy San Dimas also confirm the images on their blogs and make appearances as Red Riding Hood and Snow White – the two female leads in the game. Still no mention or sign of Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk, but I don't think that's a huge loss.

Speaking on behalf of Playlogic, the rep (who asked to have their name withheld) said that the videos are currently "in submission" and not yet ready for public – er – consumption. "Pending any hiccups," they said, "they'll be finding their way into the wild very soon."

We'll let you know if or when we spot them, assuming the adult film stars don't beat us to the punch with their own blogs.

Ron Jeremy makes an appearance as what appears to be The Naked Emperor – one of the four playable characters in Fairytale Fights. But I have no idea who that chick is playing Red Riding Hood. Nor do I have any idea how they could take the mentally handicapped portrayal of Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk sexy – assuming he's even in the actual video.

We'll follow up with Playlogic to see if they've got the name of Red's actress — along with confirmation that these shots are actually from a real trailer. In the meantime, feel free to take a guess and thereby reveal your porn preferences.

ETA: Some of you have pointed me toward that "mystery" porn star's MySpace page where she blogged about her experience with Ron Jeremy a week or so ago. There're two extra pics there (including one of Snow White) and an amusing explanation of how this porn star was "lied to" about what the shoot was for.

Co-Hosts: Brian Crecente, Stephen Totilo
Special Call-In Guest: Owen Good
Music: Song from The Protomen's Mega Man-inspired Act II: The Father Of Death

Download the show.
Get it on iTunes.

Topics
Calling All Readers: Kotaku Party In Tokyo
Stop Telling Me What To Do!
Owen Good's Stick Jockey columns
Adult Films Push For Presence on Gaming Consoles
GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony Preview: Crimes For The Crazy Rich

If Vivid Entertainment head Steve Hirsch succeeds, he will look into getting adult videos on the Xbox 360 and perhaps the Wii, the co-founder of Vivid told Kotaku.

"Our point is pretty simple," Hirsch told Kotaku. "As long as age verification is in place that (Sony) feels comfortable with we see no reason why adults shouldn't be allowed to access adult movies on the Playstation 3."

Hirsch said his company, that has an extensive catalog of films including Bad Wives, Seven Deadly Sins and Tristan Taramino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex 2, is in the process of drafting a formal request to send to Sony Computer Entertainment, but that they have not yet discussed the idea with the company.

Sony officials did not respond to requests for comment for this story.

Hirsch says they've decided to broach the subject now with Sony because of the console maker's decision last month to allow Japan's DDM.TV to bring on-demand Blu-ray quality HD adult movies to the console. That service is only available in Japan.

"They had made it clear in the past they were not interested," Hirsch said. "Now that they have agreed to in some way allow adult films on the Japanese platform we are going to move forward and make a formal request."

Sony's reluctance to allow adult films on their platform is not a new issue, Hirsch said they confronted the same issues when Blu-ray first came out.

"We do support Blu-ray now, but Sony did not want adult Blu-ray for a long time," he said. "The way they stopped that from happened was that there was only a few places where you could get Blu-ray replicated and authored.

"For a long time it was only HD-DVD that would allow us to replicate in HD. Ultimately Sony came around."

And Hirsch hopes the same will happen with the Playstation Network.

The idea is that there would be an Adults Only section on the Playstation 3's online network, which already rents and sells more mainstream movies. There are a number of ways to verify that a person is 18 before they get access to that area, Hirsch said.

Hirsch understands it will be an uphill battle.

"It is certainly something that creates a lot of attention, when you talke about adult content being put on any new platform," he said. "It isn't that dissimilar to getting it on cell phones.

"Certainly we understand there is going to be some resistance on Sony's part when it comes to adult content on their console. We all understand there are kids who use the Playstation every day and we want to keep content away from them, but there are also adults who use it."

Vivid Entertainment is currently drafting a letter that they plan to send to Sony by the end of the week, he said. And if things go well, Hirsch will look into getting adult content on Microsoft's Xbox Live video service and other gaming platforms.

"It is something as an industry we would like to accomplish," he said. "If we move forward here we would look at other potential gaming platforms like the Xbox 360. The Wii seems to skew a little young."

Modder Zaigo has painstakingly recreated Zoey as a quite deshabille zombie fighter. It goes without saying that if you go to L4D mods to view all the nude Zoey screenshots, you should consider that you are looking at porn.

Notes the creator:

This is not a skin, this is a completely new model for Zoey. She has some clothes on, but hardly enough to cover anything at all.

You will also notice that her "lovelies" bounce when she runs or walks and Francis, Louis and Bill can't stop staring. Now get your tissues out, lock the door, download the mod and enjoy, you pervert.

I like it that this guy calls me a pervert. That's like getting a disapproving glance from the clerk working at a porn store. I might be a creep, but they work at a porn store. And this guy spent God-knows-how-many hours retouching Zoey's labia just so he could get her triangular love patch to Penthouse quality.

Next up, nude infected! Who wants to help me render some decaying Boomer dong?

Zoey Gets a Make-Over. NSFW [L4D Mods, thanks Stephan]

Bobbi Starr, named 2009's "superslut" by the X-Rated Critics Organization, said she sort of just fell into the booth babe roll this week through a friend of a friend.

Codemasters had no idea when they hired Starr to model at their booth for upcoming racer for Dirt 2 as a "dirty girl" that she was a star in her own right.

But that hasn't kept people familiar with Starr's work as a pro-sex feminist pornographic actress from recognizing her.

"I've run into quite a few people here who recognized me," she said.

Yesterday Starr twittered that she would be at the show as a "dirty girl" even posting before and after photos showing what she looked like after having her face dappled with grease and dirt for the booth.

Starr says she wasn't really aware what E3 was when she took the job, but has been enjoying the experience.

"I used to play a lot of video games in high school," said Starr, 26. "I used to play Diablo, World of Warcraft, the old-school World of Warcraft."

Starr said she stopped playing World of Warcraft when she graduated from San Jose State University with a music degree.

But, other porn gamers, like Whorecraft's Mia Rose and Belladonna, have been asking her about getting back into World of Warcraft.

"I wanted to get back into it when the latest one came out, but I didn't," she said.

Starr says she does want to pick up a Nintendo Wii so she can check out the aerobic games on the console. She'd also love to check out the Xbox 360's new motion controls she said.

Most showing at the annual E3 video game conference this year have models on parade at their booth, showing off the studio's goods and hoping to drum up a bit more interest. But only Codemasters has a porn star hanging out.

SUPER NSFW Bobbi Starr

See, Eliso was treated to a late, late Christmas present from his mum last week. She took him to a Wal-Mart in Manatee County, Florida, and bought him a PSP. All was well!

Until he took it home and turned it on. And found that the wallpaper was of a naked chick. And that the PSP somehow had a memory stick already inside it that was full of "hundreds of pornographic pictures".

Wal-Mart offered to give the kid a new PSP game. Eliso's mum, Tamatha, is having none of it, and wants a whole new PSP instead.

Mom Finds Porn on New PSP [Fox, via VE3D]

The first episode, Left 4 Head, features the kind of fare you'd expect: Smoker tongues that aren't tongues and a very hands-on Hunter going after Zooey. Oops, I mean "Poker" and "Groper" special infected going after "Blowie."

The follow-up, which according to producers is "a must see for fans of the game or interracial sex," introduces us to the "Splooger" zombie. That shouldn't be too hard to figure out. It also features the XXX version of Louis, the "the tolken [sic] black dude in the game," in a post-rescue gesture that can probably be best described as the opposite of romantic.

We can't stress enough how NSFW and adults-only this is. The majority of this post's creation was spent finding a relatively safe screen shot. Seriously, this is straight up "erotic horror" pornography, my fellow adults.

But have fun finding it on the internet, you perv.

Let Me Google That For You [LMGTFY.com - thanks, Ernie!]

The -Minus World was feeling romantic and, noting porn's long history of cribbing off of others' IP (Field of Reams, Driving Miss Daisy Crazy) they found some adult cinema directly inspired by some of the bigger brands in video games.

What's worse, that I'd already heard of "Face Invaders" and "Grand Theft Anal"? Or that I was honestly impressed some producer in Tokyo greenlighted "Final Fuck X" as an homage to the Squeenix title? (And oh yes it is an homage - everyone looks like a teenage girl, dudes included.) Then again, Japanese porn is just unaccountably weird, so why not.

One big omission though - -Minus World forgot "World of Whorecraft."

Five Actual Porno Movies That are Based on Video Games {The -Minus World]

Catching up with a select few of them at the AVN show in Vegas last week, GameDaily asked them the tough questions. Who they'd be in a real game ("I'd be one of the whores getting screwed in Grand Theft Auto"), who they'd be in a dream game ("Super, super slutty. I'd be a hot little game girl, and I'd hit people with my boobs. They're big"), that sort of thing.

Of interest to us (OK, of more interest), though, is what the ladies are playing/into. Allie Foster, for example, is playing Cooking Mama 2. Kristina Rose's favourite game is Katamari Damacy. And Joanna Angel is playing both Guitar Hero and Rock Band at the same time (hey, she's a pro).

Porn Stars Love Video Games! 2009 Edition [GameDaily]

Eroge, hentai games, h-games - call them what you will. I've played them before, but by playing I generally mean skipping to the good parts and giggling in the company of friends. JAST USA's latest release, Princess Waltz, interrupts the good parts with a nifty little card battling game that has your character facing off against a variety of monsters. The plot involves an event known as The Princess Waltz, which involves women battling to determine the queen of a fantasy kingdom.

Can Princess Waltz balance my general disinterest in h-games with my insane love of card-based video games? I spent several hours trying to find out exactly that.

It's a Card Game
The card game portion of Princess Waltz is fairly straightforward. Each opponent starts off with five numbered cards. There are two phases to combat - initiative and battle - during which you wager a number of cards in order to get a higher total than your opponent. Whoever wins the initiative round is the attacker in the battle round, trying to get a higher total than the opponent's in order to deal damage.

As you play and gain experience you will gain special spell cards to use during battle in order to effect your card totals, while gaining stats that are added on to the totals, assisting you in your quest.

The main character, Arata, forms bonds with the various women in the game in order to increase statistics when joined with them in battle, which leads us directly to the second portion of the game... It's a Hentai Game
While Princess Waltz takes it's own sweet time getting to the sexual encounters, it doesn't hold back once it gets there. In the entire first chapter there are only two real encounters, both with the same person, both of which seem to draw on uncomfortably long. Things start off exciting enough, but soon you'll start pondering using the skip button for the exact opposite reason it exists.

In the second chapter of the game things really kick into high gear, with no less than five sex scenes, each one determined by choices you make at a certain point in the game. This is where things get a bit too graphic for even my tastes, with scenes featuring the graphic taking of virginity, incest, and a bit of watersports thrown in for good (I suppose) measure. I found myself on more than several occasions desperately hoping for the next card battle.

Needs More Card Battles
If you were to completely strip the sex out of Princess Waltz, you'd be left with a lengthy interactive book interrupted by the odd card battle. The story is entertaining and even a bit involving and the production values are incredibly high considering the genre, but there really isn't enough card battling to suit my tastes. Perhaps an additional mode where you could fight random opponents after the game ends would have added a bit of value to the title, but as it stands the whole card aspect just feels like it was tacked on.

Still, if you're in the market for this sort of thing and would rather have an H-game that at least pretends to be an actual interactive experience, you could do much worse than Princess Waltz. Hit the link at the bottom of the press release for the very NSFW official website.

Peach Princess Adult PC Dating-Sim Game "Princess Waltz" Now On Sale, Download Purchase Available

San Diego, California, Tuesday, December 9, 2008

JAST USA announces that Princess Waltz, its new PC dating-sim/card battle game for adults, has shipped and is available on PC DVD-ROM as well as Internet Download Edition. Princess Waltz is one of the most popular adult anime-style PC games to be released in recent years in Japan, and it features high quality graphics, a compelling fantasy storyline w/innovative card battle action, and a degree of erotic and emotional intensity that only Japan's love-simulation games can bring.

"In a Storm of Flashing Blades, One Princess Must Triumph"

As the game's hero Arata you'll find yourself surrounded by a cast of beautiful magical princesses who fight in an ancient rite of combat known as the Princess Waltz, which determines the future queen of the fantasy kingdom of Eldhiland. When a chance encounter with a mysterious transfer student makes you an active participant in the battle, you have no choice but to fight.

As the game story progresses, you uncover the secrets of these beautiful girls and forge bonds of love, coupling with your partners to improve your synchronized combat skills. Can you save the world of Eldhiland and win your princess's heart?

JAST USA president Peter Payne said: "Japan's culture of PC games with adult themes including love and sex is incredible, and we're happy to be able to bring one of the best games ever released to fans in English. This is one of the highest quality titles ever seen, and we can't wait for fans of PC dating-sim games to experience the world of Princess Waltz."

The game is available for purchase now at the JAST USA website as well as other fine anime retailers. The official game site with full character profiles, sample graphics and voices, plot summaries and more is available at http://princesswaltz.com

It is an advertising truism that Sex Sells, but so does fear. Whether it is fear of human odours fuelling deodorant marketing or fear of Terror selling a war, manipulating our darkest fears is a surefire way to get the public to sign on the dotted line.

Full marks then for Gamestop's latest ad which is all about the terror, with just a hint of sex underneath some TV-friendly pixellation. The horror.. THE HORROR.

The take home message is that you should always tell your relatives what you want for Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus although in this case 'new parents', 'a padlock' and 'a quantum of dignity' will doubtless edge out games consoles and gift tokens.

It's not just straight-up porn, either. The tease is everywhere. Booth babes. IGN babes. Wii Fit Girl. Bikini models playing Guitar Hero. Jo Garcia. Tera Patrick sexing up Saint's Row. And this freaking site, of course. So I'm not coming to you remonstratively, or remorsefully even. Geeks are no strangers to porn, but I'm wondering if posing a nude girl in the act of sharing your interests — on a giant 20-sided die, humping a Halo helmet — represents an emotional tease that is more powerful than the most explicit picture could ever hope for. Especially since we are, as a class, very easy to separate from our disposable income.

Because that's what this is about, monetizing the tease. (Granted, this post could be said to do the same.) Gamer Fetish, for example, is a cookie-cutter free-porn blog — 10 free pics, link to the for-pay provider, and hope that the subject trips your trigger enough that you'll beg (read: pay $19.95) for more. Even at tiny conversion rates, that kind of subscription charge allows the paysites to throw off enough dough to make sites like Gamer Fetish worth the bother. The site's tone, of course, is to read like your standard geek-interest blog. But the banner ads and the links to paysites are unmistakable in intent.

I'd also argue that this genre encourages its consumers to see nudie pics in a context other than porn, and on some level regard them as more socially acceptable. Not, like, share-them-with-your-8-year-old-cousin acceptable. But a nude woman engaged in a sex act, well, we know where that lives on our hard drive and its not exactly something we're proud to own. This, hey, we're gamers, and there's video game stuff in the frame. It's funny! It's cute! It's the kind of thing I'd feel like I could leave laying around to provoke my girlfriend and not suffer too badly if she was offended.

As for the hardcore stuff, like World of Whorecraft or Rage of Bonan don't think a movie like that appeals to your standard porn connoisseur, who's plunking down his dough for things titled [Random Sex Act]#22, whose production values need to go no further than a bed in a Public Storage garage. These things cost money to make and need a business case to get funding. As Nadine Strosser of the ACLU observed, porn isn't 10 perverts spending a billion dollars a year. People are paying for it. Foot fetishists pay for foot fetish porn. It would follow that geeks and gamers paying for geek and gamer porn.

My question: Do you? Because I have a theory that around 100 percent of you will say no. And if that's the case, either we're a cut above all the other gamers in terms of morality and supression of instant gratification, or geek porn is heavily overinvested and/or oversaturated and will bankrupt itself soon. Which do you think is more likely?

This is Pretty Much the Hottest Thing Ever [Gamerfetish.com, via Polygamia, very NSFW]