This week's update for the Wii Virtual Console brings what many consider to be the best Pokémon title for the Nintendo 64, which is extremely odd considering it's really just Tetris Attack (Panel de Pon) with Pokémon painted over it. Pokémon Puzzle League (1,000 Wii Points) features Ash, Brock, Misty, Pikachu, and all of their adorable little friends playing Tetris Attack. It's got story modes, continuous play, timed play, animated cutscenes, and even 3D puzzles to keep the gameplay from falling flat. If puzzles and Pokémon aren't your cup of tea you can always check out this week's other release, Renegade for the NES (500 Wii Points), a beat-em up with a unique story about a guy who has to fight his way through several street gangs to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend. Girlfriends were such a liability in the late 80's.

No Way Should Pokemon Be This Cute. Like, Ever.

New Pokemon Game Hinted At

Don't Smoke At All With Pokemon

decided that every time that I wanted a cigarette, I would turn on my DS and play some Pokémon. But the thing about going from two packs a day to cold turkey is that at first, you always want a cigarette. So the first three days, I did nothing but play Poémon non-stop. My routine was to sleep extra late (because if I'm not awake, I'm not craving a smoke), play Pokémon for about 8 hours with breaks to stretch and eat, read Pokémon walkthroughs, F.A.Q.s, strategies, and websites, and then sleep... After the initial push, it just required the willpower to keep playing Pokémon instead of smoking.

Pokemon Event Threatened, Event So Cancelled

We thought the safety of our customers is our top priority. We deeply apologize for the cancellation.

Say It Better With A Pokemon Trophy Telegram

Nintendo Goes After Paper Pirates

Sure there's plenty of video game and computer game piracy going on around the world, but what about those nefarious paper pirates? The nairdowells who spend their days copying Pokemon trading cards, not digital assets.

Well Nintendo is on to them too.

In one case on March 26, law enforcement in New York raided seven stores that were known fronts for faux Pokemon cards, seizing thousands of cards and making several arrests. In another earlier this month a Chinese production facility was raided and nearly 1.2 million Pokecards seized.

Nintendo says that during the past 16 months alone more than 47 million counterfeit pokemon cards have been seized at facilities around the world. One seizure alone in China netted 26 million cards.

"Pokémon wants to send a message to importers and producers that we will not stand for the distribution of fraudulent Pokémon product," says Pokémon spokesperson, J.C. Smith. "Pokémon is committed to ensuring our fans receive the quality product they've come to expect."

Wait, hold the phone! Pokemon have a spokesperson? Where the hell have they been during the long plight of the caged Pokemon. Why haven't they had a word with Gabe?

Behold! The Pokedress

It's dress time! We love dress time!! Here's a Pokémon cami halter top one piece with a banded bottom. Thrilling, we know. For those unable to picture how this lovely dress would appear on a mannequin, hit the jump for that.

151 Pokemons (Let Me Show Them To You)

Wear Pikachu On Your Head!

That's not just a Pikachu baseball cap. Oh, no. It's a fitted Pikachu baseball cap! This officially licensed Bioworld made hat will ship this summer. Heads will never be the same.

Hit the jump for another Pikacap.

Pokemones Are Not Oral Sexy Obsessed, Just Kissing Crazy

STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!

Chile's Bi-Sexual, Orgy Having Pokemones

Ponceo is about having fun... This time I had seven partners.

Order New Pokemon, Get Pokemon Guide

Ordering Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time or Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness early? Nintendo wants to give you stuff — namely a guide. Not just any guide, but a limited edition Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorers Guide that contains tips, interviews and an original manga by Pokémon game art director Ken Sugimori. Yes, Nintendo want to bribe you. Hit the jump for the full press release!

Fake Pikachu Brings Iraqi Children Happiness

Pikachu Zapped With 10,000 Volt Electricity

Pokemon Valentines, Now With Razor Blades

When one Floridian woman picked up some Pokemon valentines at her local Dollar General, her son spotted something peculiar sticking out from the bundled lollipops: razor-sharp chunks of box-cutter blades. Luckily he noticed the metal protrusion before he handed a lollipop to his sister for her tongue to go all Bulbasaur.

I'd always laughed at the warnings of razor blades in candy. But I guess that, yes, some people do hate children, or at least Pokemon, that much.

Woman Finds Razor Blade Inside Valentine's Day Candy [WFTV via GoNintendo]