Kotaku: pointing fish

Portal After Dark

Luke Plunkett — Mon, 05 May 2008 00:00:01 MDT

When Chell wakes up in Portal and needs to get herself out of a pickle, she wakes up wearing an orange jumpsuit and some snappy robotic chicken legs. They're both comfortable and practical. But what if she'd woken up with...less gear? A surprisingly tasteful artist's impression of this possible scenario awaits you. Unless you're at work, that is, because like many other works of art, this one's not safe for the office.

Ed's Note: This is a fan-modified piece of art. The original was done by Russian photographer/artist Max Sauco. You can see it here.

Portal для взрослых [Sergey Galyonkin]

Rockstar Blames PS3 (In Part) For GTA IV Delays

Mark Wilson — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:20:34 MST

When GTA IV was delayed last year, neither investors nor gamers were happy. And many of us pointed the finger at the PS3 for the reported "technical" problems during Rockstar's joint PS3/Xbox 360 development process. According to Rockstar's VP of Product Development Jeronimo Barrera, we weren't so crazy.

It's really no surprise to anybody that the PS3 was definitely a contributing factor to [the delay].

He continues:

Now, we're neck and neck. That's not an issue anymore. But back then that was something we were taking into account. That's not to say there's anything wrong with the PS3 version. It's awesome. They're both identical.

Oh, I'm sure that the internet will find something wrong with the PS3 version and something wrong with the 360 version. But it's good to hear that both versions of the game are on track now.

Grand Theft Auto IV' Developer Announces Release Date, Says Whether There Will Be Another 'Hot Coffee' [mtv]

Kotaku's 2007 Pointies

Brian Crecente — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 10:00:55 MST

Last year, way back a few days ago, we posted our official Goaties, Kotaku's picks for Game of the Year. Then we allowed you the readers to pick your favorites. But Game of the Year is such a specific goal, and their were so many games deserving of awards. Awards like Best Engine Missing a Game, Best Game that Shipped with a Blu-Ray Movie and The Wrong Time, Wrong Place award. Hit the jump to see the run down for our first ever Kotaku Pointing Fish Awards: The Pointies.

Best Use of Ayn Rand Philosophy: BioShock

Best Game That Really Could Have Done So Much More Despite Involving Snappily Dressed 19th Century Composers: Eternal Sonata

Best Game that Shipped with a Blu-Ray Movie: Stranglehold

Best Straight-Faced Lie in an Official Statement: Microsoft and Sony

Best Use of the Letter "e": Every Extend Extra Extreme

Best Use of Controversy to Sell a Sub-Par Game: Rockstar

Gamecube GOTY: Super Paper Mario

Best Engine Missing A Game: Assassin's Creed

Great Game, Wrong Time, Wrong Place: Project Gotham Racing 4

Best Use Of Mario In A Non Nintendo Game / Worst Use of Mario Ever: Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games

Worst Use of TubGirl on a Blog: Kotaku

The Gizmodo Cheated Award: Halo 3

Microsoft Spokesman Most In Need of a Full-Time Vowel: Larry Hryb

Best Ground Breaking System with Absolutely no Ground Breaking Downloadable Games: Wii

Best Use of Red LEDs: Xbox 360

Worst Use of Blue LEDs: Wii

Best Use of Alcohol at a Video Game Convention: Leipzig Games Convention

Worst Product Placement in an Awards Show, Brought to You By Mountain Dew: Spike TV VGAs

How Poland Was Sold On Halo 3 (NSFW)

Luke Plunkett — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:00:01 MST

Not with Mountain Dew, or soppy commercials, or signs behind trees. No, when Poland needs to know how great Halo 3 is, they go the direct route: they crack out the slutty models. This is Ania. Ania may or may not love Halo 3, we'll never know! But when Polish lads mag CKM called, said they wanted her to frolic with the game, the 360 and its associated peripherals, Ania answered. With gusto. Verve, even. Click through to see just how much verve. But be warned. It's totally, utterly NSFW. Bare flesh, wireless wheel straddling and pointing fish abound!

Ania z gry Halo 3 [Polygamia, thanks Piotr!]

Blind Item: Bad Bathroom Habits

Michael McWhertor — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:40:56 MDT

Pointing Fish says, "A little known difference between Western and Japanese developers is that some want your stool while their across-the-pond counterparts don't."

We just got word of one development house who falls into the latter category, CCing this icky warning to its employees.

Anonymous writes:

This message is specifically targeted to the individual that has decided to start smearing feces and boogers on the bathroom stall walls over the last few months. Just so you know, we have a basic timeline of when this started and have been carefully comparing it to the hiring records. As I've had to field the complaints I'm also considering implementation of scheduled breaks where the condition of the bathroom will be monitored. I'm really quite disgusted to have to do this but it must stop. Since this is an act of vandalism that **** has to pay to clean, I plan to involve **** security and the **** police as soon as we catch you.

Yuck! You thought game development was hard? Try mid-level management! This whole scenario reminds me of this classic Onion bit.

Know who this is? Everybody gets one guess in the comments! Michael McWhertor

Blind Item: Jealous Guy

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 00:00:51 MST

Pointing Fish says: This promoted business exec appeared on stage at a poorly received press conference last year. Later, he would later laugh off the ensuing jokes publicly. However, around the office, it was a different story altogether! He caught one of his employees watching a YouTube version of that press conference and took that employee into his office, where he went into a 15 minute rant about watching that clip. He said, and we quote, "Watching that is what jealous people do." The employee felt disgusted after the ordeal, and word hasn't it that this exec wasn't exactly loved by his underlings. Okay, so who is it? Brian Ashcraft

You Got PS3 In My 360!

Mike Fahey — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 10:40:59 MST

So Microsoft is advertising on the back of PSM magazine, encroaching on enemy territory, as it were. Well that's nothing compared to what is set to greet fans who purchase EA's European UEFA Champions League Event football game for the Xbox 360 once it hits stores. Turns out one of the event's major sponsors has a mighty big presence in the game.
As you can see from the screen (hit the link below for a larger image) this is a preview build of the game, but since the PlayStation 3 is a big sponsor of the event I doubt they would be taking it out for release. I suppose it will be odd seeing a PlayStation 3 ad appearing in a game that isn't even scheduled for the PS3, but that's just how the cookie crumbles in the magical land of licensing. Michael Fahey

PlayStation 3 advert appears in Xbox 360 game [360 Gamer via Xbox Scene - Thanks T.G.!]