Also after the jump, from Deviant Art, a cartoon on why Gordon Freeman doesn't talk. (If you're guessing the punchline right now, you're right.)

One Bored Super Soldier and Why Gordon Doesn't Talk [Deviant Art, thanks reader d p]

Team Fortress 2 Sentry [Lair of the Legomancer, via Shift Gamer, thanks reader Mohammed]

"The PC version of GTA IV has not even been announced for release and is still in development so is not about to be released on a website."

The entire conversation is very long and almost takes on the scope of a 419 baiter thread. But they do provide screenshots (granted, those can be faked too.)

Basically, these two guys concoct a detailed tech support problem with a free demo of Grand Theft Auto IV, and see if Take 2 will bite. Of course, they do, but only to a point. After getting that little nugget above — which they're convinced was copypasted from some higher-up's response to befuddled tech support — they get another tech who is less fun and a little more circumspect about their claims.

While the last message does say, "We are unsure when the PC version of the game will be released," that does not mean, "We are sure it will be coming out, just not when." I am likewise unsure of when I'll win the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes.

ComputerandVideoGames.net reported rumors back in April that a PC GTA IV was due out in October, citing European retailers. That didn't bring a denial from Rockstar UK, just "no comment." So unless and until Rockstar wants to lay the rumor smash, this remains rumor only. I wouldn't get my hopes up, but you never know.
How We Pranked Rockstar [Blog, thanks reader Matt]

Looooong trailer for the subject matter (and being entirely a pre-render.) But it's out Nov. 8, on PC, the next-gens, PS2 and DS. And I suppose then, or before, we'll get the story of why she went and blew up her own manor.

Tomb Raider: Underworld E3 Exclusive Trailer [Gametrailers]

The coming week will be completely dominated by E3 coverage. Come to think of it, the previous week was completely dominated by pre-E3 coverage. After the jump we've compiled a scene-setter of sorts, aggregating together all the lineups announced, so you know some of what to look for in the coming onslaught of copy.

Kotaku's crack staff on the scene will be Brian Crecente, Michael McWhertor, Brian Ashcraft, Mike Fahey, Leigh Alexander, and Adam Barenblat. They're going to be very busy.

Console Roundups:
Sony
Microsoft
Nintendo

Developer/Publisher Lineups

2K Games
• BioShock
• Borderlands
• NBA 2K9
• NHL 2K9
• Sid Meier's Civilization IV: Colonization

Capcom:
• Street Fighter IV
• Resident Evil 5
• Dark Void
• Bionic Commando
• Mega Man 9
• MotoGP '08
• Neopets Puzzle Adventure
• Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
• Bionic Commando Rearmed
• Flock (XBLA, PSN)
• New games from Capcom Interactive

D3Publisher
• Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers
• NARUTO: Clash of Ninja Revolution 2
• Puzzle Quest: Galactrix
• BEN 10: ALIEN FORCE The Game
• NARUTO: Path of the Ninja 2
• Bangai-O Spirits
• Shaun the Sheep

Electronic Arts
• Dead Space
• FaceBreaker
• Hasbro Family Game Night
• Littlest Pet Shop
• Madden NFL 09
• Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
• Mirror’s Edge
• iPhone/iPod Touch Games from EA Mobile
• The Sims 2 Apartment Pets
• Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 09 for the PSP
• Zubo
• MySims (PC)
• MySims Kingdom (Wii, DS)
• Spore
• Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 09
• Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning
• Command & Conquer Red Alert 3
• Crysis Warhead
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
• The Lord of the Rings: Conquest
• SimCity Creator (Wii)
• NBA Live 09
• NCAA® Football 09
• Skate It
• Rock Band™ 2
• Left 4 Dead

Majesco
• Major Minor's Majestic March
• Cooking Mama World Kitchen
• Our House
• Zoo Hospital
• AWAY Shuffle Dungeon
• Wonder World Amusement Park
• Babysitting Mania
• Marker Man Adventures

Marvelous and XSEED
• Avalon Code (DS)
• Rune Factory: Frontier (Wii)
• Little King's Story (Wii)
• Valhalla Knights 2 (PSP)
• Populous (DS)
• KORG DS-10 (DS)
• Retro Game Challenge

Midway
• Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
• Wheelman
• TNA iMPACT!
• Blitz the League II
• This is Vegas
• Unreal Tournament 3
• Game Party 2
• Touchmaster 2
• Mechanic Master
• MidwayArcade.com

Southpeak
• Big Bang Mini
• Brave: A Warriors Tale
• Brave: Shaman’s Challenge
• Igor The Game (Windows PC, Wii & Nintendo DS – September 2008)
• Monster Madness: Grave Danger
• Ninjatown
• Raven Squad
• X-Blades

Square Enix
• The Last Remnant
• Song Summoner: The Unsung Heroes
• Chrono Trigger
• Dragon Quest: Chapters of the Chosen
• Final Fantasy IV (DS)
• Star Ocean: First Departure
• Star Ocean: Second Evolution
• Infinite Undiscovery
• Star Ocean: The Last Hope
• Exit DS
• The Legend of Kage 2

Tecmo:
• Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff (DS)
• Robocalypse (DS)
• Spray (Wii)

Note that this weapon is not being fired by remote control. It's recognizing moving objects and firing on them automatically. The distraction test is a pretty good measure of its abilities.

Of course, having the laptop that operates it right next to it probably would not do well in a real firefight. Maybe it'd be a good burglar-blaster, but then, forget your keys, step in the door, and you're taking a paintbath in the living room.

Latest Video [paintballsentry.com]

The release will add eight new multiplayer maps, more than 70 online quests, plus a new town where characters can train themselves in gladiator combat. GamersHell has eight screenshots, one is above.

The full press release from SouthPeak is after the jump.

Southpeak Games to Re-Release Coveted Role-Playing Game in Ultimate PC Package: Two Worlds: Epic Edition

LONDON – United Kingdom - July 11th, 2008 – SouthPeak Games today announced its open-world role-playing hit game will get a new release on PC with the upcoming Two Worlds: Epic Edition. The expanded game will be available in August 2008.

"Two Worlds has seen unprecedented popularity, not only upon its original release, but in the months since it has gained even more fans," said Melanie Mroz, CEO of SouthPeak Games. "Epic Edition collects everything available for the world of Antaloor into one package so those who have yet to explore its rich and vibrant lands can now do so in its entirety."

Two Worlds: Epic Edition will contain the original game and the add-ons "Tainted Blood" and "Curse of Souls", putting the massive world of Antaloor and countless hours of adventuring into one tremendous package. The original Two Worlds gave players a huge world and hundreds of adventures to undertake. The expanded content of Epic Edition adds over 70 online quests, eight new multiplayer maps, an innovative player-versus-player challenge where opponents battle to control magical orbs within a variety of arenas, and introduces the town of Tharnburg where players can train their warriors in various skills and challenge other players to combat in the Gladiator District's huge arena.

Two Worlds: Epic Edition is rated PEGI 16+. For more information about Two Worlds or SouthPeak Games, please visit www.2-worlds.com or www.southpeakgames.eu.

Two Worlds: Epic Edition Announced and Screens [GamersHell]

I ran this by my Dad, also a Joe Bob fan, and he agreed this had to go up pronto: "The commenters will put up their own Chuck Norris facts too," Dad said. "Like: Chuck Norris finished The Bourne Conspiracy."

Zing!

OK, part two. This all looked a little too complex for me to think it was simply a well done movie. And lo and freaking behold, I think I'm right. As this video went around this week, Ripten found that there is indeed a Super Chuck Norris Bros. demo for the PC. And goddamn if I don't feel like buying a copy of Windows just to play this sucker. Ripten vouches that the download is virus free. Someone grab it and tell me what I'm missing.

Play Super Chuck Norris Bros. [Ripten]
Super Chuck Norris Bros Demo [ctfdoh.googlepages.com]

"ParticleMan simulates gravitational attraction between particles in a cloud. This system was used to study such gravitational dynamics as orbits, nebula formation, star formation and particle streams from sources like pulsars and black holes," says the official site.

ParticleMan has the following elements:

• Particles — point masses which interact with each other
• Gravity Wells — fixed point masses which attract or repel particles(depending on magnitude, which can be negative), but do not move or change mass without user input
• Particle Guns — sources that spit particles out at a given angle and velocity
• Gravity Wells and Particle Guns may only be placed on the green grid in the z=0 plane.
• The Iso Surface — an isosurface geometry object derived from the positions and masses (which act as field strengths) of the particles.

By toying with the physics controls you can create different kinds of gravitational simulations. Set fusion rate to high, you can simulate the birth of stars in a collapsing nebula. Low fusion rates can simulate the interaction between stars in a galaxy.

ParticleMan is an .exe, so Mac gamers (like myself) are SOL. But if you've always wanted to make stars, and not in the American Idol sense, here's a nice weekend time-waster.

Spore Protoypes [Spore.com, big thanks to reader Bryce]

We got an anonymous tipster who said Flagship shut down abruptly yesterday, and that developers for both Hellgate (San Francisco) and Mythos (Seattle) have all been pink-slipped. "But there's also hope that they will all have their jobs back at the end of next week at a brand new company," our tipster says.

But wait, there's more. Flagship's Korean partners/owners, Hanbitsoft, were said to be taking over. That sparked a foofaraw regarding who owns the Hellgate intellectual property.

Fan site Hellgate Guru first reported that HanbitSoft was taking full control of Hellgate: London and intended to continue the game. That brought a forceful denial from Flagship, and confirmation from HanbitSoft's own attorneys (who slipped in a backhanded dig at the failing studio, which pretty much confirms Flagship's demise.)

HanbitSoft's attorneys said that while they're an exclusive licensee of Hellgate and Mythos, it's been pledged only the Mythos IP. Secured lender Comerica gets the Hellgate IP as collateral on the loan. Either way, Flagship does not own either, and also:

[I]t is unfortunate that Flagship turned down additional investments HanbitSoft offered to make that would have allowed it to keep its doors open, but HanbitSoft hopes to work with Comerica and some of the team at Flagship to see if there is a way to continue to generate content to keep Hellgate online in Asia and to finish the development of Mythos.

That sounds like the "brand new company" possibility our tipster mentioned. Either way, HanbitSoft says it threw Flagship a lifeboat, and it chose to go to the bottom. Ouch.

Finally, VE3D says it got more confirmation early this morning:

Flagships's Community Manager, Taylor Balbi, has revealed, through sources, that all Ping0 and Flagship Studios staff have been made redundant. Employees were notified at a company meeting and subsequently informed that the offices will be officially closed on Saturday. Balbi went on to reveal that three of the studio's top brass dug into their own pockets to provide 30 days of pay to all employees.

Our source says an official announcement will come next week (like what, at E3?)

Flagship Studios' Closure Confirmed, All Staff Fired, All I.P. Lost [Voodoo Extreme]

MTV Multiplayer asked BioWare co-CEO Ray Muzyka, and he says the key is pretty simple: make it worth the customer's while to buy the product, with ongoing DLC releases, an enduring multiplayer experience and a good relationship with the players:

“We’re doing a lot of post-release downloadable content on all of our PC titles going forward,” said BioWare co-CEO Ray Muzyka to me last week. “We think it’s a good thing to encourage players to make them want to buy a PC title. That’s ultimately the best, most successful path to prevent piracy is to have players that want your games, want to believe in them and think they’re high-quality and realize they’re going to get a lot of value out of them as platforms for long time afterwards.”

Muzyka also told Multiplayer that we can expect Dragon Age to follow the same long-tail pattern as Mass Effect. Now that online play and downloadable content is such a huge part of gaming's business model, PC games seem to be leading the shift away from the idea of a game as a one-off retail product and more towards the idea of "software as a service," which is a win-win situation.

BioWare’s Answer To PC Piracy: DLC, Multiplayer, Loyal Fans [MTV Multiplayer]

2K Games Confirms E3 Lineup [IGN via videogaming247]

Hit the jump for the short press release, which is thankfully free of such tired humor.

WARHAMMER® ONLINE: AGE OF RECKONING™

TO SHIP IN RUSSIA IN EARLY 2009

EA Mythic, a division of Electronic Arts Inc. (NASDAQ: ERTS), today announced that Warhammer® Online: Age of Reckoning™ (WAR) will be released in Russia for the PC and will be fully localized. Along with MMORPG fans all over the world Russian gamers will have a chance to enjoy the rich world and extensive possibilities of one of the most anticipated MMORPG’s of the year - Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning.

Based on Games Workshop's epic tabletop fantasy war game, WAR features revolutionary Realm vs. Realm™ (RvR) game play that will immerse players in a world of perpetual conflict. Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning is scheduled for launch on the PC in early 2009 in Russia and Fall of 2008 in North America, Europe and Australia/New Zealand.

For more information, please visit www.warhammeronline.com.

Games Workshop, Warhammer, Warhammer Online, Age of Reckoning, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer world are either ®, ™ and/or © Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2007. All rights reserved.

I must say I am disappointed that Blizzard has stayed on the conservative side in terms of design with their updates to Diablo and Starcraft. Diablo will be interesting since World of Warcraft has a lot of Diablo-like qualities. I have no doubt, however, that they will be incredibly fun, addictive and polished games. Blizzard is the top of the class when it comes to game development - nobody does it better.

Man, why's everyone so down Diablo III? There's that rainbow petition and now this? Blizzard cannot win, like never ever ever. Hit the jump for Cheng's post in full:

Diablo III announced. Nice. It looks pretty amazing, especially the gameplay video. Loved the destructible environments.

I must say I am disappointed that Blizzard has stayed on the conservative side in terms of design with their updates to Diablo and Starcraft. Diablo will be interesting since World of Warcraft has a lot of Diablo-like qualities. I have no doubt, however, that they will be incredibly fun, addictive and polished games. Blizzard is the top of the class when it comes to game development - nobody does it better.

In fact, World of Warcraft is currently banned from any computer I own due to its highly addictive qualities. Its easily one of my favorite RPGs.

I know they are working on another Massively Multiplayer Online (MMO) game. I hope its World of Starcraft.

UPDATE:
Dear Blizzard,
Please forgive me.

XOXO,
Ash

When the ship runs out of ocean [ash :: the blog via Big Download]

"And I kind of look at it and say to myself, and I think similarly to Rob, is that it would be great if they put more emphasis on the Windows operating system, certainly probably the most prominent operating system in the world. Even more so than console boxes.

And they own and operate that system, so having them put more energy and effort against it – and they would say that they are, but I think that there’s more that can be done.

Sams told Gamasutra it makes sense to him that Microsoft is currently putting so much energy on the console, as it's their "gaming bread and butter."

Blizzard's Sams: Microsoft Should Put More Emphasis On PC Gaming [Gamasutra]

Thus ends my attempts to Bazooka Joe every post I do today.

Ahem, anyway. We told you about the Council of Stellar Management a couple weeks back. They just had their big congressional session up in Iceland, home of CCP, the developer of EVE Online. A New York Times reporter went up to report on the proceedings and, surprise surprise. People are more civil in person than they are online!

Yet in person — around the conference table, in the CCP cafeteria, over cocktails amid the infamous Reykjavik nightlife — the vitriol and bickering that had often characterized their in-game interaction largely fell away, replaced by mostly cordial cooperation. Late at night, in the back room of a bar, you could even witness high-level political negotiations among the players.

Granted, it would take a deep and firsthand knowledge of EVE Online to report on any developments out of the Council of Stellar Management (I can't help but imagine Bill Lumbergh after typing those words). And the NYT reporter admits a general cluelessness — then again, aren't most of us. So, not sure what the confab accomplished other than taking the EVE players to a site where Icelandic tribes once met to resolve differences. And of course, since this was a summer conclave of EVE's student body government, you know that means at least one wholly unexpected hookup in a hot tub somewhere. But that wasn't reported.

A Council of Eve Online Gamers [The New York Times]

Now, in an interview with Joystiq that went up earlier today, Jay Wilson, the game's lead designer, was asked about the possibility of Diablo III coming to the consoles, and he spoke at length about Blizzard's vision for such a possibility.

Q: Do you have any plans for Diablo on consoles?
We don't have any plans.

Or not.
And guess what else — you're not going to be playing it on a mobile device either! Shock. Anyway, the remainder of Wilson's interview is, in fact, worth reading.

Joystiq asks why they went with a Battle.net model instead of an MMO (short answer: Battle.net model would be a "true sequel" to Diablo II, MMO would not). Also, while they're still mulling group limits in multiplayer co-op, Wilson makes it clear the game will be most fun in groups of four or, tops, eight. And they ask but get no answers about release time, number/type of character classes, and secret cow levels.

Joystiq Chats with Jay Wilson on Diablo 3 [Joystiq]

Clearly, there is very little probative value to this post, I just wanted to write the word DIKTAD (the name of a toy chest they sell). Three years ago my friend Ryan (Flying Squirrel, to those in the know), who now writes for the Sacramento Bee, went to IKEA with me to help me trick out my former shithole (rented for $1095 a month. Housing bubble? What is this you speak of? Rent is a rock solid investment that only appreciates.) We came around the corner and saw DIKTAD and that instantly became our new term of abuse for each other, like "Heat Stick" and "Grandma's Tongue." And now I bequeath it to you. Please call each other that in the comments.

The Sims 2 IKEA Home Stuff Trailer [Simprograms]

It's crazy how the ratio between sales to piracy is probably 1 to 15 to 1 to 20 right now. For one sale there are 15 to 20 pirates and pirate versions, and that's a big shame for the PC industry. I hope with Warhead I hope we improve the situation, but at the same time it may have an impact on [our] PC exclusivity in the future.

Yerli goes on to say that if a game isn't an online multiplayer game, it's up for grabs to piraters, and for that reason the company is spending development effort making Crysis: Warhead more difficult to crack. But if it doesn't pan out, and PC games continue to be pirated at the 15:1 ratio he offers, it's going to affect Crysis' development strategy in the future. "We would only consider full PC exclusives — if the situation continues like this or gets worse — I think we would only consider PC exclusive titles that are either online or multiplayer and no more single-player," Yerli says.

So I guess the message is: PC gamers, stop pirating and start snitching on your friends if you want more exclusives out of Crytek. And to show he's serious, he also tells IGN they're working on a non-Crysis console game.

Cevat Yerli Q&A [IGN]

Speaking about the game's development, he explained that they were "about a third of the way through" the campaign, and were concentrating on story structure and cinematics at this point - commenting that by the end of the year, Blizzard should have something very impressive to show off.

That said, Mac gamers can expect a simultaneous release of this title, too — whenever it arrives.

StarCraft II — Not Happening in 2008 [Internode Games Network]

Essentially, [Blizzard is] creating a new Iron Man every month, in terms of the gross revenue they're generating as a studio. Any movie studio would be shouting about that from the rooftops... We think the number of connected PC gamers we are selling our products to dwarf the current generation of consoles put together... There are tremendous opportunities in figuring out how to reach out to those customers.

Via game site Eurogamer, which a nice meaty article up on PC gaming and Valve that's full of tasty tidbits of data and choice quotes. Read it.

Valve: Why the PC is the future [Eurogamer] [Pic]

WHITE ALBUM」アニメ化＆PS3移植決定！？ [Moon Phase via AnimeNewsNetwork]

When Microsoft vp John Schappert began his open letter to PC gamers today, he started with "Growth and Opportunities in PC Gaming."

Weird start. Nevertheless, Schappert has issued what is basically a Microsoft-penned report on the state of PC gaming. Pretty rosy. No mention of World of Warcraft or Steam or The Sims.

But some good stuff nonetheless, like:

Other popular titles such as “Crysis” and “Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures” have sold and shipped more than 1 million copies, respectively. “Hellgate: London” now has more than 1 million active subscribers.

And

Today I’m excited to report that Microsoft and a growing community of the gaming industry’s leading publishers, hardware manufacturers and retailers have made the Windows-based PC the largest gaming platform in the world.

Read the full letter after the jump.

Growth and Opportunities in PC Gaming

These are exciting times for the PC gaming industry. Over the past couple of years, Microsoft Corp. has increased its focus on investment in Windows gaming because we see the incredible growth and opportunities it represents not just for us, but for the industry at large.

Today I’m excited to report that Microsoft and a growing community of the gaming industry’s leading publishers, hardware manufacturers and retailers have made the Windows-based PC the largest gaming platform in the world. Every major region will see PC gaming continue to grow in audience, game revenue and hardware purchases for the foreseeable future. While the challenges we face as an industry are many, PC gaming has never been stronger, and we’re confident this trend will continue in the years to come.

The past year has seen exponential growth in online activity and sales, continued platform and hardware innovation, and continued success with the Games for Windows branding initiative, which adds prominence, a quality and technical bar, and a consistent look and feel to the retail PC gaming experience.

In the last year, we have helped launch a wide range of stellar PC game titles exclusive to Windows including “World in Conflict,” “Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar” and “Sins of a Solar Empire.” Other popular titles such as “Crysis” and “Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures” have sold and shipped more than 1 million copies, respectively. “Hellgate: London” now has more than 1 million active subscribers.

We are also dedicated to supporting the next generation of PC game developers with XNA Game Studio, a set of free, easy-to-use development tools for Windows-based PCs, Xbox 360 and Zune. Our goal is to assist a growing community of more than 1 million students, hobbyists and independent game developers realize their potential and enhance the Windows gaming ecosystem through their ingenuity.

Later today in San Francisco, Microsoft will be joined by our partners and select press at our Big Picture showcase event, where attendees will experience the PC gaming renaissance firsthand. Top game publisher Activision will premiere upcoming title “Call of Duty: World at War.” Attendees will also be among the first to experience AMD’s new Radeon HD 4800 Series DirectX 10 graphics card, NVIDIA’s new GeForce 9M notebook GPU and other stellar hardware from Dell Inc., HP, Gateway Inc. and Acer Inc.

Also today, 16 titles join the Games for Windows portfolio, including “Call of Duty: World at War” (Activision), “Ghostbusters: The Videogame” (Sierra Entertainment), “Crysis: Warhead,” (EA Partners), and “Zoo Tycoon 2: Ultimate Collection” (Microsoft Game Studios).

The Windows-based PC is the most connected gaming platform on the planet. Microsoft’s continued investments will enable game publishers to take advantage of that connectivity while delivering to consumers the kinds of gaming experiences they will love.

These are exciting times. We’re proud of how far we’ve come and excited for what the future holds.
Here’s to Windows gaming,

John Schappert
Corporate Vice President
LIVE, Software and Services
Microsoft

So you want me to announce the game before our announcement? No offense, but I think there's like 300 people here, and I'll be ripped apart by 8000 people there [at the Invitational] if I pre-announce it — but it's going to be really exciting. I think everybody here will be really excited about the announcement.

Sounds really exciting, and yes, we're really excited.

Blizzard to unveil new title at Worldwide Invitational? [Games Industry] [Pic]

(Well, pretty sure Blizzard does. Good for Blizzard.)

In the meantime, hit the jump for fancy red line pointing!

Eds Update: We received the below image — might not want to pin your hopes and dreams on this one.

More people seeing things! Reader yofu adds: "The artwork from the splash page has a clear 3 on it, not to mention if you look "through" the ice you can see what looks like veins of lava." We're pretty sure if you stare hard enough you can see Abraham Lincoln too, but that's just us. Never mind us!

Splash Site [Blizzard via World of War Thanks, Mike!]

BioShock should’ve failed... In fact, it did fail a lot, over the course of time. A series of big mistakes and corrections and slipped ship dates, but all of these helped make it a good game... Some people think that constantly messing up, and pushing dates isn’t a good way to make a game, but as far as I’m concerned it’s the only way to make a good game.

Bungled development and repeated delays are your friends! Do not hate. Do not.

Wy BioShock Should Have Failed [Gamasutra via Binge Gamer]

It's a lengthy podcast. The comment It's at timestamp 37:22 if you want to hear it for yourself. netGameRadio is suspender-popping proud at all the attention this has earned, but all that attention has put a whammy on its servers.

The entire podcast can be retrieved from TotalGamingNetwork, too.

The Inside Battlefield Show [netGameRadio via TotalGamingNetwork

No sooner than Pyro's unlockable weapons drop than does the grinding and achievement farming begin again with great intensity. Alec visited an achievement servers to witness the depravity himself firsthand and, of course, found himself unlocking 14 achievements and getting the Flare Gun. "It’s as though someone’s stamped LIAR on my Steam page."

Loads of good vignettes in this piece. If you like TF2 or have an opinion on achievements, give it a look.

Achieving Nothing in TF2 [Rock, Paper Shotgun]

It is very much a multiplatform, multichannel, multipartner business where our goal is to get our games anywhere they're going to be great, anywhere we can. If your fridge can make a great Bejeweled experience, by god, we'd have your fridge playing Bejeweled.

Zuma and Bejeweled had big game followings, but Peggle has overtaken the gaming community in a way that none of our games have ever really done that. It was dramatically sped up by Peggle Extreme, and we're trying to think of other things as well with Peggle and seeing if that works with other things. Some games... you couldn't do a mash-up of Bejeweled and Half-Life. That would only suck.

There's lots of talk about expansion into other marekts (mobile, console, etc.) and where PopCap is headed next. It's an engaging interview on the subject of one of casual gaming's biggest forces.

PopCap: The Complexity Of Being Casual [Gamasutra]

Interestingly, I'm in Washington D.C. for the weekend — normally we publish a little BART jaunt away from S.F. So if someone up that way can pop in and ask Will what, specifically, will get you banned for making Sporeporn beasts in Spore Creature Creator, I'd be obliged. Use as many clinical terms as possible, like, is an apparent glans by itsef banworthy, or must it also be attached to a shaftlike appendage? Also use "frenulum" and "taint."

The official EA release with who/what/when details is after the jump.

Who: Industry Icon Will Wright, the Chief Designer from Maxis, an EA studio. Wright’s games are some of the most popular and acclaimed titles of all time, including SimCity and the mega-hit The Sims, which recently celebrated 100 million units sold.

What: Wright will provide a public demo of his latest project, the hotly anticipated game Spore. One of the most ambitious games ever made, Spore gives players their own personal universe in a box. Create and evolve life, establish tribes, build civilizations, sculpt entire worlds and explore a universe filled with creations made by other gamers. Spore gives players a wealth of creative tools to customize nearly every aspect of their universe: creatures, vehicles, buildings, and even UFOs.

Where: The Apple Store
One Stockton Street
San Francisco, CA 94108
415-392-0202

A description of the game from the official Tomb Raider site:

"For generations, stories have been told of the fearsome weapon of Thor, the Norse god of thunder. Legend holds that Thor’s hammer had the power to smash mountains into valleys and to destroy even the gods. For more than a thousand years it has existed only as a myth ... until now.

In an ancient ruin on the floor of the Mediterranean Sea, Lara Croft uncovers proof of the Norse underworld and the mythical hammer. As she attempts to unravel the secrets behind these myths, Lara’s perilous journey leads her toward a forgotten power that, if unleashed, could lay waste to all civilization."

Well, I know that Kotaku intern Adam Barenblat had a harrowing run-in with a Norse mythology course at the University of Colorado this past semester. So that probably ruins this game for him. And if we're dealing with the Norse underworld, I sure as hel hope it doesn't involve this sailing vessel. That's just gross.

Here are the screens at the largest size I could grab 'em. Also, on the official site, you can grab an mp3 of the new game's official theme. Not sure how new that is, but it's pretty swrrt, wish more would do that.

Tomb Raider: Underworld Confirmed for November [GamePro, thanks Mig]

Back in April, Dan Rubenfield (Ultima Online, Star Wars Galaxies, etc.) ranted, raved, and put MMO developers 'on notice.' And, at the end, admonished developers to "quit making PC games. It’s a waste of time and money." Unsurprisingly, people hit back, and now over at GameSetWatch, Joe Ludwig (producer of Pirates of the Burning Sea) has a snappy little response detailing six reasons why MMOs are just plain harder to develop for consoles versus PCs. Does that mean it won't start happening in greater numbers? Of course not:

There is enough money to be made in console games that future MMO releases there are inevitable. It's just a question of when they arrive.

Several console MMOs have already launched. The most successful of these by far is Final Fantasy XI on the PlayStation 2. Everquest Online Adventures and Phantasy Star Universe (and Phantasy Star Online before it) are two more examples. There are probably more that I'm not coming up with. All of these games have seen some modest success, but none of them are either major console hits or major MMO hits.

... Eventually MMOs are going to come to consoles. It's just going to take them a while to get there, and they will probably never emerge in the same numbers as they do on PCs. Buck up, Dan. We'll get there some day.

He also points out that according to NPD, developing for PCs is anything but a waste of money. Overall, it's a really reasonable response to a sometimes reasonable, sometimes really not rant.

Why Aren't There More Console MMOs? [GameSetWatch]

Reader Bahamut sends the above Easter Egg, which is Spore creator Will Wright's head floating over the galaxy in the main menu screen. How'd he do it? By tinkering around. "Before I quit out of the entire game I try just randomly clicking around the main menu ..." Bahamut explains. Methinks he would have been among the first fishies crawling out of the ocean to breathe gas and not water. ("Before spawning and dying, I decided to randomly swim up this rock to see how far it was to the water's surface ...")

Bahamut shows how he did it after the jump. Since this precedes the official demo release, can we call this a zero-day Easter Egg?

Okay, so I was screwing around with the (leaked) Spore Creature Creator demo late this evening, and right before I quit out of the entire game I try just randomly clicking around the main menu (the galaxy). If you click the center of the galaxy, the menu buttons for "Load Creature", etc. disappear, which allows you to view the galaxy unhindered. While in this view, if you hold down the left mouse button move left or right you can give the galaxy a "spin". If you spin the galaxy fast enough, this pops up in the center of your screen.

Alright everybody, go give it a try!

It was a Commodore 64 — the greatest personal computer of its generation, and one of the greatest ever — hooked up to an 11-inch black-and-white TV with a hoop UHF antenna, a gate-latch 1541 5 1/4-inch floppy disk drive, and a 1526 dot matrix printer. The spitting image of my childhood desktop. It took me straight back to rainy Saturdays I spent with Dad, inputting programs from the back of the old Compute!'s Gazette magazines.

I'd be sitting at the desk, 11 years old, by this time a touch-typer after learning first on the VIC-20 Dad bought my brother and me for Christmas in 1982. And Dad would be on the twin bed to the side, with a long pillow under his legs because of his bad back, holding up the folded-over magazine and calling out the programming for some game I wanted to play. Oil Tycoon. The Enchanted Journey. Baghdad. Beekeeper. The Frantic Fisherman. The Freeze Factory. Canyon Cruiser (or, as my brother called it, Intestine Flyer).

Think about that. For those of you who are pushing 35, like I am, like Dad was that year, think about giving up a Saturday afternoon to help an 11-year-old with data entry. For BASIC programs, we had a checksum auditor that tipped us off to syntax error; for machine language we had an assembler that was a bit more on the ball. But both of these, mind you, had to be programmed in BASIC themselves. And they only caught problems at the line level, saving you from entering the entire program, typing RUN and being left to wonder what the hell was wrong. For every typo I made or, God forbid, error in the code printed in the back of the magazine, Dad and I would still have to go back and read through the code, parsing every character for clues. Any number higher than 255 was a giveaway.

The video games were tedious enough, but nothing like our grandest project. One weekend we buckled down, from mid-morning Saturday and carrying into early evening Sunday and entered, literally by hand, the word processor that I used up to my sophomore year of college, the one that truly nourished my love of writing. SpeedScript was its name.

Dad called out the code and I entered it. I swear I can still hear him now: "127 ... 099 ... 086 ... 254 ... 181 ... carriage return."

"Check."

"Next line: 101 ... 211 ... 050 ... 245 ... 112 ..."

Thank you Dad. Happy Father's Day, and I love you. And to everyone reading Kotaku, Happy Father's Day to your dads, too. Show them some love in the comments.

Compute!'s Gazette Index: July 1983 to April 1987 [Classic Computer Magazine Archive]

Even if you've never played WoW, it's a well written narrative, covering the moral implications and the actual risks of paying someone in a sweatshop to play a game so you can enjoy features and abilities you didn't earn. And the conclusion could pass for any awkward reminder of a purely transactional relationship with another person. And if you do play and you're considering powerleveling, it's a great explanation of what to expect.

And I'm not sure what our policy is, but Kotaku AU ran a disclaimer that, just to cover the bases, should be repeated here.

Disclaimer: Kotaku AU does not advocate the use of powerlevelling services, or the use of any service that violates the Terms of Use or End User License Agreements (EULA) of any game. If you decide to indulge in any such service, you do so at your own risk.

Pros And Cons Of WoW Powerlevelling, Part 1
Pros And Cons Of WoW Powerlevelling, Part 2
Pros And Cons Of WoW Powerlevelling, Part 3

Well, a file purporting to be that demo is on Megaupload as we speak. Now, 191 MB is a huge file just to be bogus malware, but still, we assume no responsibility if this isn't what it says it is or turns out to be something worse.

Spore releases for PC and Mac on Sept. 8, 2008, with a version for the DS on Sept. 7 and another TBA for the Wii.

Spore Creature Creator Demo (.exe) [MegaUpload, thanks Null Void]

"The console is now a baseline. If you look at Gears of War or Assassin's Creed, they came out on console and they were great experiences - but the PC versions had additional aspects to them that also made them attractive, whether you owned the console version or not," continued Taylor. "The PC version was better. That's something that people need to get their heads around - the console is a baseline, the PC is going to be an improved version. That's an exciting future, and that's why I don't see anything threatening about console at all.

Note that the PC versions are also generally later than their console counterparts, often requiring PC owners to upgrade to the latest NVIDIA products. Ah, an exciting future indeed!

"Consoles don't threaten PC gaming" [Eurogamer]

The Council of Stellar Management — which sounds like something from Dilbert — was formed by EVE developer CCP back in March, and now the two bodies will meet to discuss issues both real- and virtual-world pertaining to the game. The CSM's nine delegates and five alternates serve six month terms and were elected back in March. Developer CCP is based in Reykjavik (holy shit I spelled that correctly the first time).

They rep a gamer community approaching 250,000, according to CCP which bills the stellar managers as "the first democratically-elected governing body in a virtual world."

"The CSM will empower players with a formal communications channel to directly impact the development of their society as it grows more and more advanced," a release says.

This looks more like community outreach than actual lawmaking in an online world. That said, I really hope most of these delegates roleplay it for all it's worth, like the Galactic Senate in Star Wars or something. And if you play EVE and you've gotten scammed or fallen for the old can bait trick and you're pissed, write your delegate!

Council of Stellar Management [EVE Online]