That's been fixed in lightning-fast time, according to Microsoft. "Thanks for your patience, a new update is avaible that addresses the stuttering issue with GTA IV. Just log in and apply the new update."

Grand Theft Auto PC Fix [Blue's News]

Valve's Robin Walker explains that the coding team has already moved on to the next class update, with only the final art needed to make the upcoming Scout update complete. Here's how things should play out.

We've got an update that should be out tomorrow with a bunch of bug & exploit fixes. Later this week we hope to have another update out that changes the way we store your unlockable items. You shouldn't notice much difference, other than if you play on multiple computers we'll now propagate your item choices. You can think of that update as the one that moves your inventory into the Steam Cloud. Once that's out of the way, we'll be able to ship the Scout pack.

I am filled with glee! The Scout is definitely my best class, and by that I mean the class I die the less as. I can't really measure my success on kills. I'm that bad.

That's what I'm talking about! [Team Fortress 2 Blog - Thanks Cody!]

Posting on the official Call of Duty forums, Treyarch Community Manager Josh Olin goes into great detail on just what a PC developer has to do to get a patch out. Basically, there's listening to be done, then more listening, then testing, testing and more testing.

Olin also says that, as tough as it may be, PC gamers suffering from a dodgy game should realise that a patch normally takes at least two months to appear, and sometimes longer in trickier, more complex situations.

Which is why it took so long for Bethesda to get the Fallout 3 patch out. And why Grand Theft Auto on PC still doesn't work properly.

Anxious and impatient PC gamers can read the full report at the link below.

*** The PC Patching Process Explained! *** [Call of Duty]

Here's the full list of what's fixed:

• The Ritual/Monk’s Quest — Fixed the issue with the Abbott becoming unresponsive if you leave Oakfield before he finishes talking. This will fix the problem if you’ve already hit it, too.

• Rescuing Charlie/Rescue My Baby — after rescuing Charlie, you can now able to interact with objects

• Guild Cave chest — resolves any issues with previously inability to retrieve items unlocked from Limited Collector’s Edition, website or Chicken Kickin’ game. If you’ve already hit this bug you should now get your items.

• The Spire (Pt2) — no more issues with ship captain being unresponsive

• The Hero of Skill (Pirate King) — you’ll no longer get stuck during Hero of Skill quest (Bloodstone)

• T.O.B.Y./Trouble In Bloodstone — you’ll no longer get stuck during T.O.B.Y. quests (Bloodstone)

• Your child — will no longer be chosen as an assassination target

• Furniture Shop in Albion (Bowerstone) will now always have something for sale

• "Additional unspecified fixes" (their words)

Also, Knothole Island has been added to the map in Tales of Albion.

Fable II Title Update release and Tales of Albion [Lionhead Dev Blog]

Comes now George to pass word from Microsoft PR that the text issue will in fact be patched. Here is the statement, posted on the Banjo Blog.

“It has come to our attention that people are experiencing subtitle [dialogue text] readability issues with Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts on Standard Definition TVs. We would like to assure you that contrary to earlier reports, we are aware of the issue and currently working on a title update to be released within the next 30 days that will fix it for those with Standard Definition TVs. We’re committed to ensuring all fans of the franchise are able to have the best experience possible with Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts.”

No word on when the patch is available, but it sounds like it's a priority if Microsoft PR is taking charge.

GOOD NEWS: Fix for Small Text on SD TVs Issue in the Works! [Banjo Blog via RareWitchProject and thanks to gamer4250 for the tip]

While there is still no news on console fixes, the PC version will be getting a patch today to deal with some PC-specific issues. Hopefully they'll take care of the dreadful V.A.T.S. slowdown I've been experiencing on the platform. Fingers crossed.

Fallout 3 PC to get patch "later today" [Eurogamer]

First, Molyneux and the "deliberate glitch" idea. The original phrasing of IGN's sentence about it: "Just be warned. Molyneux has said that the cheat was no accident and that those who used it to earn their money will be in for a surprise." was rewritten to "Just be warned. Molyneux has said that they are well aware of the cheat and that those who used it to earn their money will be in for a surprise."

That sounds about right. The idea that this particular glitch would be included is kind of laughable, even if you want to think of it in the choose good/choose evil context of the Fable franchise. Isn't that a little subtle, anyway? Well, the whole thing's was patched as of Thursday evening, resetting the leaderboards, so it's all moot — or is it?

See the annotation in the video above? Someone's now saying you can continue to use the gold exploit by entering the "perform maintenance on storage devices" code (at the storage device tab in System, highlight a drive, enter Y X X LB RB X X). But it doesn't really matter for me because I never got above the minimum bet limit in Fortune's Tower, the game where the gold exploit works.

Disclaimer: Although performing storage device maintenance sounds like an innocent-enough thing to do, I have no idea if this procedure, in combination with whatever's in the patch, actually does nasty shit to Fable II Pub Games, renders it inoperable, or anything else you don't want done. In the end, you're getting cheat tips off a YouTube video, be warned. However, if someone does get it to work, let me know in the comments.

Gold Exploit in Fable II Pub Games [YouTube, via Xbox 360 Fanboy]

Fable II Pub Game Glitch 'Intentional' [BritishGaming.co.uk]
IGN: Fable II Preview [IGN]

There have been widespread reports of networking problems with some gamers being unable to connect to games and others being completely unable to find online servers. Several instances of Xboxes freezing were also reported in the Xbox.com forums.

To compound the problems, the official Crashers website and forums went down shortly after the game's launch.

In an interview with Joystiq, Tom Fulp and Dan Paladin from The Behemoth acknowledged the problems and claimed that help was on the way.

"There are certain network settings," said Paladin, "where, if you're in a very specific network environment, it won't work with another person's connection and that's what's happening. But that's something we're already addressing by working with Microsoft to get a patch out as fast as possible."

PAX 2008: The Behemoth talks Castle Crashers pricing, patches and performance [Joystiq]

Eden opened its AitD presentation at Leipzig by listing all of the flaws in the 360 game. "We have absorbed and taken every piece of criticism about the game that was constructive and would help," a rep said. Eden's spokesperson also explained why they thought the tight camera position was a good idea at the time. Writes Eurogamer:

"On the 360 version what we wanted was to have more immersion with the camera being really close to the player." Fair enough, but plenty of people found it clunky and irritating. Indeed, recent focus testing with the new system revealed that people didn't feel any less immersed anyway, but hey. Later, when pressed on its original choices, Eden admits it was simply too close to the project. It might well feel much more like an action game, as they say, but not enforcing the original claustrophobic viewpoint on players makes for a far more playable experience.

No word on when exactly the patch is coming out, but the hands-on descriptions of the PS3 version say it is a much more enjoyable and playable version.

Eden to Fix Alone in the Dark 360 and Alone in the Dark Hands-On [Eurogamer]

Clearly concerned that their customers might be in danger of A) doing themselves a mischief and B) not having fun anymore, Square Enix has responded with a series of changes to the MMO "to prevent such battles from exceeding a certain predetermined length of time"

In a post to the official site entitled "Regarding Specific Notorious Monsters" Square has announced that the major league bosses Pandemonium Warden, Absolute Virtue and Jailer of Love (all of whom would make excellent Emo album titles) and their associated pets will be modified in the game's September update.

Final Fantasy XI Online Official Site [Thanks to Jeff Amick for the tip]

My favorite fix? "Ball carrier will no longer run out of bounds when changing hands and heading towards the sidelines." Also "WR screen routes improved." That's good, because your shithead coach in Campus Legend mode loves to call it on third-and-long. Xbox 360 Fanboy, among other sites, has the full list of what was fixed. This also means that roster files are working. I got mine last night via EA Locker.

While they're at it, maybe someone can explain to me why I do not have any announcers for any game in Campus Legend mode? I have gone through my settings back and forth. I've got the volume enabled. Did I miss a memo? I was amazed when Brad Nessler said my last name in the 2008 game (note to Mom, thank you for not marrying anyone named Krzystremski). Why can't I hear it this year?

Sure, Legend mode is for creepy, thirtysomething beer guts who are too antisocial for online play, and want to live vicariously through the vision of the younger man they never were. But if you're going to include it, you know, make a commitment to its AI and its production values. I'd be fine if they killed it altogether in next year's release.

EA Finally Patches NCAA 09 [Xbox 360 Fanboy]

It's a lengthy podcast. The comment It's at timestamp 37:22 if you want to hear it for yourself. netGameRadio is suspender-popping proud at all the attention this has earned, but all that attention has put a whammy on its servers.

The entire podcast can be retrieved from TotalGamingNetwork, too.

The Inside Battlefield Show [netGameRadio via TotalGamingNetwork

Mounts at 30?! Yes, it's true: Apprentice Riding and mounts are now available at level 30. Training costs 35 gold.

Nice! That stretch between levels 30 and 40 always seemed to go so slow, but this should help alleviate things a bit. Now I've got to get onto the PTR and see what level 30 mounts look like. The 40 mounts already seem pretty sub-par to me, I can only imagine the level 30 ones are missing limbs.

Public Test Realm Patch Notes [World of Warcraft - Thanks Edward!]

360 Bogart is online now! [Criterion]

We are very aware of the problems some people have been experiencing with the Xbox 360 version of Bully: Scholarship Edition and have been doing everything within our powers to resolve these issues as quickly as possible. We will be releasing a title update through Xbox Live within the next week that we are confident will rectify the problem. We apologize wholeheartedly for the inconvenience that this matter has caused some owners of the game.

The Witcher Enhanced Edition Announced

New, Improved and Enhanced Version of 2007 PC RPG of the Year Coming in Late Spring

Warsaw - February 18, 2008. CD Projekt RED is pleased to announce that in May of this year, a new and improved version of The Witcher will appear in stores, a game already considered by many players and media to be the best PC RPG of 2007!

Michał Kiciński, CEO of CD Projekt described the idea behind The Witcher Enhanced Edition: "The leading idea during the development of The Witcher Enhanced Edition is to create a game that is devoid of all of the major criticisms levied at the original release. The Witcher was received very warmly by both players and the media, but we are well aware that it is not a product without its faults. There was just not enough time to perfect certain elements, while we learned that some things needed to be changed from the players themselves. Now we have the opportunity to introduce changes that will allow The Witcher to provide even more enjoyment. I hope that, as a result, the game will come even closer to the ideal RPG."

Maciej Szcześnik, Project Manager at CD Projekt RED, spoke about the content provided in the new edition: "The Witcher Enhanced Edition will be a completely polished product, something rarely found on the PC market. Of course, it would have been best if the original edition could look that way. There were a few ways the original game didn't quite live up to our high expectations, but now we're trying to make up for it. Work is being done on two levels: one concerns the removal of technical obstacles that hinder the player from properly using the game and thus gaining enjoyment from it. Some of those elements include the loading times, which will be reduced by 80%, the stability of the game on different PC configurations, as well as an array of smaller fixes that will increase interactivity and precision in combat. The other level consists of very important changes that are not usually found in patches. First and foremost, the English-language version will, for the most part, be completely re-done. The amount of text in that version was reduced compared to other language versions and that was said to cause a significant decrease in immersion and atmosphere. Now the English version will be as polished and atmospheric as the other language versions. Speaking of other language versions, most of them will be improved in some way. Significant changes will also be made in the German version, where we are planning to re-record the voices for many of the characters. The most important improvements concern those elements of the game that players criticized the most. For example, over 50 new supporting character models will be added, so that the player won't run into the same person too often. The inventory panel will be re-designed and improved, and some elements of the main game screen will be polished. However, one of the biggest changes that will greatly increase the player's immersion in the game world will be improvements concerning dialogue scenes. Both Geralt and non-player characters will get over 100 new animated gestures which will make their body language during conversations much more natural. Additionally, the facial animation and lip-sync system will be re-created, making the faces of the speakers now even more natural, as well. Of course, I've mentioned only the most important changes, and that's still a lot. There will be many smaller changes that will make the game more fun. I'm convinced that, thanks to those changes, The Witcher will almost be the ideal game for fans of PC role-playing."

Adam Kiciński, head of CD Projekt RED spoke about publishing and the availability of The Witcher Enhanced Edition in different parts of the world: "Our goal is to make the Enhanced Edition available to all players all over the world. We are currently negotiating with our publishing partners to confirm availability dates. Our release date in Eastern Europe is May 16, and thanks to the great support from fans, we're confident that we will be able to bring the game to stores around the world on that date, as well. The retail release will be quite important for us, as we're not just improving the game itself, but want to improve how the title is packaged. For example, aside from the game DVD, we are planning to include a DVD with the D'jinii Mod Editor, as well as two additional adventures, a video DVD with extended material detailing the making of the game, a music CD with 29 tracks from the game, a music CD with 15 tracks of music inspired by the game, an 80-page instruction booklet, a 112-page official guide written by the game's developers, and a 50-page short story written by Andrzej Sapkowski. There will also be a map of the game world. As you can see it is quite an elaborate release and it is important to us that fans all over the world be able to buy this version of the game. Especially considering it will not be more expensive than the standard edition of the game! Fans that have already bought the game need not worry, however, because the new content and improvements will be available to them in the form of a downloadable update."

The Witcher Enhanced Edition not only means changes in the game's mechanics or better graphics, however. There's also an included mod editor called D'jinni that allows players to create or modify their own adventures in the world of The Witcher, as well as two completely new adventures created by CD Projekt RED. The first adventure, entitled "The Price of Neutrality," tells the story of Geralt coming back to Kaer Morhen and finding a mysterious camp near the stronghold (3 new quests), while the second one focuses on Geralt's close friend, Dandelion, and his troubles in Vizima City (5 quests).

The Witcher is an RPG about the adventures of Geralt, a professional monster slayer, and was developed by Warsaw, Poland-based CD Projekt RED. The game is based on a new version of the BioWare Aurora Engine, titled Aurora 2007. The story is set in a world created in the books of Andrzej Sapkowski and sold all over the world. The game has already managed to garner worldwide success, having sold over 600,000 copies. It has received more than 45 awards and distinctions, including the prestigious "Best PC RPG of 2007" from IGN.com, Gamespy.com and PC Gamer (see the entire list of awards: http://www.thewitcher.com/community/pl/awards/). The game has also received very high ratings from players from all over the world, which is reflected in the average player-review scores at such sites as Metacritic (9.4/10), GameTrailers (9.1/10) and Gamespot (8.8/10).

For various reasons I got up very early this morning, and decided to poke around on the PlayStation 3 for a little bit. Download a trailer or something. I power up the system and drat, system update. Ah well, I get that started and switch over to my Wii, figuring I would take Ecco the Dolphin out for a spin. I head for the Shop Channel, and there it is again. System update. With a sigh I get that going. No problem. I downloaded a show on my 360 the other day, I'll just go watch that. Let's just say I am glad the 360 controller is sturdier than my wall. It's a system update hat trick!

One of the reasons I loved console gaming was the plug and play aspect. No installing, no updates. Just plug in the cart, boot up the cd, and you're in. That has all changed now, as every next gen system now has some sort of update feature we have to suffer through before we can play. This is the future of console gaming?

It's not just the systems either. Now the games themselves are getting patched on the fly, something you normally wouldn't see happening outside of PC gaming. While trying to play Call of Duty 3 on the PS3 the other day I had to download a 4 part patch before I could even get to the point where it told me I couldn't connect to a multiplayer match. I doubt anyone who owns a 360 hasn't seen the whole "An update is required to play this game" message pop up at least once.

On the plus side, system and game updates do allow for enhanced functionality, bonus content, and new features to be added. Unfortunately, as any PC gamer will attest, it also allows for lazy programming, poor QA testing, and rushed software. On last gen consoles, with the possible exception of the Xbox, when you released a game that was it. You had to make damn sure your title worked perfectly or suffer the fate of Enter the Matrix or Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness. Now you can send games out with large flaws, secure in the knowledge that salvation is just a patch away. Some see this as a good thing, but I would much rather have a fully functioning game from the get go.

For years, PC gamers and console gamers have fought over which is the superior gaming platform. Now the lines between the two are blurring more and more each day. 360 core owners have already experienced the need for hardware upgrades, with certain games requiring the hard drive to play, effectively removing the comfort of being able to buy a game and know for sure you can run it. Now the patch issue is moot, since they occur regularly across all three next gen systems. Soon the only thing console gamers will have to hold onto is their couch, which is where I am heading right now to see if my system updates are done. Michael Fahey

After learning of the inevitable issues with some PlayStation and PlayStation 2 titles acting up on the PS3, Kaz Hirai, President/CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment America, says they're working on it.

We are aiming for perfect compatibility. Our goal is 100 percent compatibility. We are trying to get there as quickly as possible.

Sony expects to issue what Reuters refers to as "firmware" updates (presumably some elixir made of dried pixie wings and ground unicorn horns) to address problems with some 200-odd titles.

As long as my copy of Gitaroo Man works, I'll be a satisfied customer. Michael McWhertor

Sony software upgrades to fix PlayStation glitches [ABC News]
PS3 Backwards Compatability Has Some Kinks [Kotaku]

Hey, even more reason to just love Battlefield 2142, EA and DICE. Sure, they are infecting you with spyware... I'm sorry, a piece of software that allows them to more accurately monitor in-game ad usage. Sorry, even worse! But hey, it's just spyware... not exactly like they're leaving the backdoor open to hackers.

Well, except they are. According to Hearless Gamer, EA has already released a patch for BF:2142 today that requires you to uninstall a critical Windows Update patch.

What does that patch do?

A security issue has been identified in the Windows Kernel that could allow an attacker to compromise your Windows-based system and gain control over it.

Gosh, what will EA do to their loyal Battlefield: 2142 fans next? Decapitate them by propelling the DVD out of a cannon at their necks? Florian Eckhardt

Another Reason to say NO to Battlefield 2142! [Heartless Gamer]

Hey, thanks, Capcom! After oodles of potential zombie killers deprived of HDTV started complaining that the text in Dead Rising was so small that a single letter could be comfortably mapped upon the convexity of a single micron, there was great hope for a patch.

Will there be? Ha. No. According to 1UP:

So, the question is, will there ever be a patch? Unfortunately, that's a no. "Due to the amount of text and the size of the patch necessary to change the text, a patch isn't possible for this issue," said the company. "We had asked the team if it was even possible but ... due to the scope of what a patch would need to cover, it wasn't possible."

Yeah, those font file sizes are just killer. Bastiches. Florian Eckhardt

Dead Rising Fans: No Patch For You [1UP]