Kotaku: Parody

The Onion Outlines GTA IV's New Features

Mike Fahey — Tue, 06 May 2008 19:00:00 MDT

When I say that every major news outlet had stories about Grand Theft Auto IV last week, I mean every major news outlet, including venerable parody news site and internet staple The Onion, who took some time to inform their readers of the new features in Rockstar's latest entry in the series. My personal favorite, which hits quite close to home...

Though it doesn't affect the game at all, your character is severely afraid of spiders

See, before I couldn't identify with Nico, but now it's like we were separated at birth or something. Also, great news for those of you who don't enjoy all of the violent combat...

You have the choice to stay in Liberty City or drive to the suburbs of New Jersey, where you can earn a degree or learn a trade

See? GTA IV has something for everyone!

Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores [The Onion via TBBPS]

The Game Pitch to End All Pitches

Maggie Greene — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:30:00 MDT

I really dislike PowerPoint, so I appreciated this 'game pitch' that's poking fun at games, PowerPoint, and the industry at large:

A key part of the development process, I am told, is pitching your game ideas to studios and publishers. After some practice, I believe I am starting to get good at this. For instance, I know that if you want to be taken seriously as a professional, you need to use something called "Powerpoint". In fact, I have been writing all my game proposals in Powerpoint and I am starting to see a marked improvement in the quality of my ideas.

It's funny (I laughed — a lot) and worth a couple of minutes of your time.

The Pitch [Hit Self-Destruct via GameSetWatch]

Metal Gear Selleck

Maggie Greene — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:30:00 MDT

Brian H. sent on this little gem, playing up the uncanny resemblance of Magnum P.I. star Tom Selleck and uh, Solid Snake.

Snake is instantly recognizable for a few simple features, his signature eye patch, the 80's glam rock head band and probably most importantly his manhood, that's right, his Moustache. But call me a heathen, when I hear the word moustache only one name springs to mind and that is Magnum P.I a.k.a Tom Selleck. Driving a Ferrari, courting beautiful women, for Gods sake he made Hawaiian Shirts cool. I pay him homage with a game cover should he ever decide to cash in on his mo.

Metal Gear Selleck [Geekpulp]

Hillary's '3 AM Call of Duty: Mission Bosnia'

Maggie Greene — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 16:00:00 MDT

With Hillary Clinton's admission that she 'misspoke' about her experiences in Bosnia with snipers, you knew the game parody version wouldn't be far behind. And it wasn't — Bill Maher presents Hillary Clinton's 3 A.M. Call of Duty: Mission Bosnia. It's slightly funnier than the plethora of terrible flash games that have sprung up during these campaigns. [via GamePolitics]

The Onion Settles Gibson Vs. Guitar Hero

Mark Wilson — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:40:25 MDT

It's difficult to see Gibson and Harmonix/MTV fight over patents—like watching your once ice-cream-loving parents argue about the financial merits of eating in—the fun has been sucked from dessert and nothing that Bryers can say will fix it.

So does Gibson's 1990's filing entitle them to a a piece of the Guitar Hero pie? No clue. Luckily we have the Onion who ran some "man on the street" responses to the difficult situation. Our favorite was from Bruce LaSaard, Elevator Installer. "Excuse me, but after last week's championship game at Ray's Creekside Tavern, I believe it is I who owns Guitar Hero."

Well said, fictitious man-on-the-street. Well said, indeed.

Gibson Sues Over Guitar Hero [The Onion] Thanks MrPants!

Classic Literature Gets the Game Treatment

Maggie Greene — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 13:30:55 MDT

We posted a little musing on books that should be made into games a while back, which spawned plenty of discussion. Now someone's gone the extra step and added screenshots and more complex mechanic ideas for Wuthering Heights: Heathcliff's Revenge, Huckleberry Finn's Xtreme Rafting, and To Kill a Mockingbird: Furor Excessum:

The town of Maycomb, Alabama found itself the center of controversy in 1930's and now you can be a part of it with this ground breaking massively multiplayer online role playing game. Finally players will have a chance to experience social injustice any way they want. Help Atticus Finch win the trial of his life and help Boo Radley start his life anew all while avoiding rabid dogs and the Klan. The open world design of this sleepy small town provide hours of game play.

Classic Literature Video Games [FunBox, thanks Will!]

Evil Acquirers Make Bid To Buy Taketooine

Michael McWhertor — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:20:00 MST

As an experienced Man of the Web, I was impressed with EA's quick snatching up of the URL EATake2.com, a site that highlights the numerous reasons why investors would benefit from an Electronic Arts buy-out of Take Two Interactive. But I'm doubly impressed by Lord Riccivader and the Evil Acquirers creation of EatTake2.com. It features a similarly impassioned plea to the people of "Taketooine" about the wonders that await them under new corporate rule.

Sure, comparing EA to the Galactic Empire has lost its shine, but seeing a Photoshopped John Riccitiello donning a Darth Vader helmet? That's gold, Jerry. Gold! The guest appearance from "Chatty" Mike Pachter makes it worth your page load.

EatTake2.com [via NeoGAF]

The Super Bowl Halftime Show We Want To See

Mike Fahey — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 10:20:47 MST

The Serious Sports News Network has just revealed that rock superstar Tom Petty will avoid the normal, overproduced Super Bowl stage show, instead opting to take on "Through the Fire and Flames" on his Nintendo Wii.

"I just figured, why waste all that time? Why make everyone sit through an insufferable halftime show again?" said Petty, who is very excited about the game between the Giants and Patriots. "Instead, I'm just going to bitch DragonForce on 'expert,' which should be enough show for everyone."

Of course this isn't real news, but for just a brief, shining moment our collective hearts soared, our minds reeling with the heady possibilities. I actually dropped this link on several of the Kotaku staff, who were absolutely crushed when I told them it was fake. Wilson was almost in tears as he said, "Thanks for shattering our lifelong dreams that we just realized we had." *sniffle*

Petty to just play Guitar Hero III for Super Bowl halftime [Serious Sports News Network]

Box Art Goes Honest

Mark Wilson — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:40:13 MST

Many of you have probably come across the Calloftheday's video game boxes gone honest, but we wanted to point them out for those of you who haven't. Not all of them are side splitters, but we enjoyed this response to Star Wars Galaxies (and really, all Star Wars games) pictured here. We also enjoyed the "Same Shit, Different Year" title for Fifa 2008 or MotoGP's "Don't Drive After Playing This Game."

We also wouldn't mind the DualShock 3 being renamed "we lied, you do care" or Nintendo's friend codes going by something more catchy like "we want you to play with buddies IN PERSON, get it through your f'ing head already."

You say one thing, but you mean your mother. (VideoGame Box Art Edits 2) [via digg]

Jack Thompson Music Video! (Featuring Kotaku)

geoff — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 14:30:00 MST

Everyone's favorite lawyer Jack Thompson is the focus on a new music video/parody song from the guys at Sarcastic Gamer. But most importantly Kotaku gets a mention in the first verse! Watch it fast before Jack sues them to take it down. And on a related note, I just interviewed Jack for Game Head over the weekend in Philadelphia. Stay tuned for that interview later this month!

Lars And The Real Cube

Michael McWhertor — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:20:00 MDT

I'm currently on my second link from Kotaku to YTMND, meaning I only have one possible linking opportunity left before my soul is eternally damned. But with the current fascination with Portal's Weighted Companion Cube and the abstracting of creepy from Real Doll comedy-drama Lars And The Real Girl, my hand is forced to post. Plus, that Ryan Gosling is just such a hefty slice of hunk, I can't resist an animated GIF of this dreamboat.

Please, forgive me?

Lars And The Real Cube [YTMND]

Microsoft Blames Hollywood Back

Mark Wilson — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 13:20:12 MDT

After Hollywood cried that Halo 3 ruined their box office and brought estimated revenue drops of 27%, Microsoft didn't apologize. No, not according to parody site BBspot. Instead they did an unapologetic victory lap over Hollywood's corpse. This, "from Microsoft":

We thought we'd get some good sales, but nothing like this...with escalating ticket prices and the crappy movies Hollywood has been putting out, people are just hungry for entertainment...Gee thanks, Ben Stiller, with all this business our guys haven't gotten much rest.

I guess that pretty much puts the final nail in the coffin of the Microsoft Game Studios Zoolander title. Seriously though, Microsoft should so actually say this.

Microsoft Blames Hollywood for Record Halo 3 Sales [via digitalbattle]

Dear EA, We're Suing Your Ass

Michael McWhertor — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 00:30:24 MDT

Looks like someone at the EA marketing department thought they'd have a laugh and swipe the hard work of Gawker Media's crack design team. Sorry, EA, but we have a patent (pending) on viciously nauseating color schemes. You'll be hearing from our lawyers. We're obviously willing to settle for nine complimentary copies of The Simpsons Game, including one for the Kotaku archives, but might play hardball for a tenth.

Seriously, not funny. We're all smoldering with generic rage right now. And by smoldering with generic rage, I mean giddy and thrilled that someone at EA added us to The Simpsons Game parody target list.

Moetaku [EA - thanks, Nathan!]

Sarcastic Gamer Sings Shadowrun Hate

Mike Fahey — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 08:20:29 MDT

To commemorate Shadowrun somehow making it to into the top five in Xbox 360 game sales last week, Doc Adams and Lono over at Sarcastic Gamer lovingly crafted a song parody that sums up my feelings about the RPG-based FPS quite nicely. It's called "Bad Game"

"Bad Game turned out to be one of our favorite projects so far," said Sarcastic Gamer's Creative Director, Jeromy "Doc" Adams. "We got to use a cartoon voice for this song, because it seemed to fit the subject... Well, that and none of us could sing as high as Daniel Powter."

Tell me about it. "Bad Day" kicks my ass in Singstar every freaking time, and I get awesome scores at "Skater Boi" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". Go figure. Sarcastic Gamer is also holding a contest for the best music video for the song, with the winner receiving either a copy of Shadowrun or a box of granola bars. "Given the nature of the game, our money's on Nature Valley."

Bad Game: The Shadowrun Song [Sarcastic Gamer]

SARCASTIC GAMER 'TAKES AIM' AT SHADOWRUN Releases New Parody Song: "Bad Game"
Monday at 12:01am (central), Sarcastic Gamer readers discovered a new parody song.

Bad Game (The Shadowrun Song), is a parody of Daniel Powter's Bad Day and offers listeners an abrasively funny review of Fasa's Shadowrun. The Song also takes aim at several other titles that have been less-than-successful so far this year. It was co-written by Jeromy "Doc" Adams and "Lono".

"Bad Game turned out to be one of our favorite projects so far," said Sarcastic Gamer's Creative Director, Jeromy "Doc" Adams. "We got to use a cartoon voice for this song, because it seemed to fit the subject... Well, that and none of us could sing as high as Daniel Powter."

The song is available as a 128 kbps mp3 at the following URL:

http://www.sarcasticgamer.com/2007/08/bad-game-shadowrun-song.html

In addition to the song itself, Sarcastic Gamer is also offering fans the chance to compete for prizes, by creating their own video for Bad Game. "The winner's video will become The Official Bad Game Video, plus the winner will receive their choice of a free copy of Shadowrun, or a box of granola bars," said Adams. "Given the nature of the game, our money's on Nature Valley."

Clip: Sexy64 Guy Gamer Team

Kim Phu — Tue, 29 May 2007 11:40:00 MDT

The Frag Dolls scare me. They scare me because they remind me of the mall which makes me hyper-ventilate and think about high school. But I have video game pride, I want to believe in a gaming team that doesn't resemble Fallout Boy. Some one can I look up to and say, "Hey, those people are like me. I am an acceptable person."

Ok, well, Sexy64 aren't really those people because a) they're dudes, and b) they really are way sexier than me, but you know, I could see them crashing a party uninvited and having the common sense to bring a six-pack as consolation prize. Maybe they'll let me be a groupie and they can teach me the ways. Kim Phu

Sexy64 [Mega64, thanks Infradead]

Clip: Wii Would Like To Prey

Mike Fahey — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 09:20:04 MDT

The man behind the terrifying Miyamoto Operetta is back, and he's brought friends. This time they carry the "Wii Would Like to Play" commercials to their inevitable, gruesome conclusion.

Wii Would Like To Prey (a parody)

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As our own Kim Phu said after seeing the clip, they really should have stopped halfway. Once the fake flames kick in the whole affair loses something. If you haven't got the balls to set a fire to your house for the sake of your art, then it isn't art at all. Michael Fahey

Parody: Dude's Cyber Girlfriend Actually a Dude

Brian Crecente — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 15:20:22 MDT

Daily Gaming has a wonderfully, though somewhat dated, Onio-esque bit of parody up on their site about the dangers of dating in World of Warcraft.

It's a tale of 20-year-old college sophomore John Harrison and his discovery that his long-time cyber girlfriend is in fact a guy.

The story was originally written about the Dark Ages of Camelot, but the site recently updated it to be about World of Warcraft and it was almost immediately Digged and then passed around as real.

The story, while a bit juvenile in parts, is pretty funny and a great example of the modern day urban legend, a cautionary tale about trusting the wrong people. Brian Crecente

Dude's Cyber Girlfriend Actually a Dude [Daily Gaming]

The Ultimate Final Fantasy Fan Parody

Mike Fahey — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 11:40:04 MST

You've seen live-action Final Fantasy spoofs before, but nothing that matches the epic scale of Mark Leung's College Saga. Clocking in at over 42 minutes long across four episodes and remaining hilarious the whole way through, this is truly the ultimate in Final Fantasy fan parody.

Chocobo rides, repetitive NPCs, vending machine store menus, and multiple battle scenes, and that's just episode 1! Follow the link below for the further adventures of Mark, Jes s, and Maria as they do battle against the evil forces of Vegetarianism. Michael Fahey

The College Saga Website - Thanks Eric!

Day Three Winner

Brian Crecente — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 10:35:20 MDT

Commentor Josh* wins yesterday's contest with his comments on the Nintendo DS Lite parody ad.

YOU INSENSITIVE MONSTERS!

Don't forget to post away today for your chance to win. I will be randomly selecting a post tonight, as I will every day this month, and then deciding which comment about the post was the funniest, most insightful or interesting and hand out a prize to the poster.

Today's prize is a sweet City of Villains cape and copy of the PC game from NCSoft. Brian Crecente

Note: If you're having trouble logging in to post comments. Try this: Login as usual, and then when it brings up the same login boxes hit the refresh key. Think of it as Kotaku's own secret handshake.

Offensive Nintendo Parody Ad, This Time Shapist

brownlee — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 11:40:52 MDT

No matter what you think about Sony's PSP ad of an albino squishing the cheeks of a sleepy woman in her pajamas — racist or not? — I think we can all agree that this Ctrl + Alt + Delete is outrageously prejudiced against disgusting fatties. Florian Eckhardt

Black and White [Ctrl + Alt + Del]

Goldeneye Parody Vid

brownlee — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 12:40:20 MDT

This live-action Goldeneye parody by Zakie Chan Productions is a lot better than it really should be. They really aced the movement. And that guard running up against the walls? I... how do you kids say? Oh yeah. "LoLed." Florian Eckhardt

Goldeneye Parody Vid [Break.com]

Snake Speaks Spanish

lsmith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:30:27 MST

Blending the game world of Hideo Kojima's Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater with reality and mixing it together with the Spanish language are the folks behind the parody Metal Gear Solid: Snack Idem. The parody of Kojima's series will span across all three Solid games but with a focus on Snake Eater. As someone who is used to seeing the new MGS trailers in another language anyway, seeing this in Spanish just seemed appropriate. Check it.

Metal Gear Solid: Snack Idem [Elrellano.com]