Why. Why did nobody in the 1980s think to turn Paperboy into a Troma-style VHS horror movie? Why did this only happen in 2013? Why?
Remember the handlebar controllers on the Paperboy arcade machines? You really felt like you were controlling that cartoony bike on the screen, right? Well, what if you had a whole bike that you had to pedal to play an updated version of that classic game? It’d basically look like PaperDude VR.
What, the fact that a low-level newspaper employee constantly made it onto the front page never bothered you? Who is writing this newspaper?
In the latest installment of CurtainsAreOnFire's Mortal Kombat Secret Character Tryouts video series, the Angry Birds get angrier, Paperboy delivers carnage, and Dr. Robotnik finally creates an obstacle course capable of murder.
There's not much more to say, really.
No secret one of my most favorite classic arcade games is Paperboy. I was one once. It's out on the iPhone, and the original designer rather likes the updated 3D version. His own work? He's a bit more critical.
A man calls the plumbing company to complain about the two plumbers sent to fix his pipes, who instead go on a relatively subdued drug-fueled rampage in this College Humor video.
One year ago today I started officially blogging for Kotaku. What better way to celebrate this anniversary than by ticking off a list of journalists that appear in video games?
This is a strangely mesmerizing and legitimately deep video from The Resigned Gamer - whose pessimism about life and games is well known, but always an informed perspective.
Mario's been dying that way for years, so, here's a video in which he tries on some new demises in search of a better good death. They missed Defender, where he explodes in a fireworks burst and burns white-hot thermite particles through anything on the screen. That would be funny. Certainly funnier than what happened…