We admittedly slept on the release of the full-fledged sequel to World Of Warcraft, but The Onion doesn't miss a beat, as its coverage of the World Of World Of Warcraft launch helps get us up to speed. The sequel to Blizzard's megahit lets gamers role-play as someone playing WoW, simulating keystrokes and featuring Hot Pockets eating support. Massively multiplayer online games haven't exactly been my cup of tea, but even I got a little tingle seeing a virtual World Of Warcraft player read through the game's Terms of Use Agreement, which looks to make legally binding software agreements fun again.

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft' [Onion News Network - thanks, Spencer!]

"I was buying a hot dog from a street vendor in Hove Beach yesterday when I saw someone run a red light, barrel down the sidewalk, careen into a garbage truck, exit his vehicle, steal a nearby convertible, and drive away," one Broker resident reported. "A nearby police car didn't even react. But when the car behind him nicked his fender, the officer shot the driver through the windshield and walked away."

"That is not the kind of law enforcement we want for our community," he added.

Speaking as a recent immigrant to Liberty City, I have to disagree. This is exactly the type of law enforcement we need. Someone go run over that resident for me.

Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality [The Onion - Thanks Daria!]

Though it doesn't affect the game at all, your character is severely afraid of spiders

You have the choice to stay in Liberty City or drive to the suburbs of New Jersey, where you can earn a degree or learn a trade

Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores [The Onion via TBBPS]

So does Gibson's 1990's filing entitle them to a a piece of the Guitar Hero pie? No clue. Luckily we have the Onion who ran some "man on the street" responses to the difficult situation. Our favorite was from Bruce LaSaard, Elevator Installer. "Excuse me, but after last week's championship game at Ray's Creekside Tavern, I believe it is I who owns Guitar Hero."

Well said, fictitious man-on-the-street. Well said, indeed.

Gibson Sues Over Guitar Hero [The Onion] Thanks MrPants!

"The Wii's fluffy flowers and bright peach-colored sunlight glorify chasing precious talking rabbits with plungers," Greer said. "What kind of message is that sending to our children? That it's 'cool' to act like some kind of electrical elf or banana fairy?"

Wii Video Games Blamed For Rise In Effeminate Violence [The Onion - Thanks Kenneth!]

Roger Federer Shows Up On Court With Wii Controller [The Onion]

Top-Selling Nintendo Wii Titles [The Onion]

Despite a catchy 1890s soundtrack and realistic-feeling game play, Sousaphone Hero, the third installment of Activision's massively popular Guitar Hero video game franchise, sold a mere 52 copies in the United States in its opening week, the company reported Monday.

Hendleman admitted that the $345 retail price might be a bit steep for many consumers. She also conceded that Activision may have erred by not releasing the game between Memorial Day and July 4, the prime parade season in the United States.

Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero [theonion]
Thanks Chris!

Poor Second Life, it just can't seem to catch a break. Regardless of how many numbers they put out showing how many people are signed up for the service, they are continually the butt of jokes and have become the red headed step child of the game world. Now, even The Onion is getting in on the act and taking a jab at the popular yet much maligned online community. In an article titled "Second Life Makes Dream Of Owning Fictitious Coffee Shop Come True" they relate the tale of a young girl who "never thought she would have the opportunity to own and operate a completely fabricated coffee shop and performance space." It's a short article, just a couple of paragraphs, but worth a read and a chuckle. Besides, I never tire of pot shots taken at SL, especially by a high class joint like The Onion (Sorry, Fahey). Flynn De Marco

Second Life Makes Dream Of Owning Fictitious Coffee Shop Come True [The Onion]

Anyway, Penny Arcade creators Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik are just regular slobs like you and me, just that they have a massive following of daily readers, lots of well-earned cash in the bank, their own video game expo and a game in development. They talk to The Onion about everything—the PA history, the collaborative process and their upcoming adventure title Penny Arcade Adventures: On The Rain-Slick Precipice Of Darkness.

A good read. And, good God, do I love that photo. Michael McWhertor

Penny Arcade's Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik [The Onion]

Ex-Girlfriend Playing Virtua Fighter With Some Other Guy Now [The Onion via The BBPS]

Being in the newspaper biz, lord knows I love charticles, the unholy blending of article and chart. And nobody does it better than the folks at The Onion.

This weeks charticle is Playstation 3 versus Nintendo Wii. While both rate excellent as parental substitutes, the Ps3 edges the Wii out with its ability to speed the pace of evolution with a mere touch. Brian Crecente

Playstation 3 Vs. Nintendo Wii [The Onion]

The Onion's latest AV Club Inventory feature lists the eleven strangest moments in video history. From Second Life's cornfield of punishment to Jane Pinckard's daring adventures with the trance vibrator, the list seems to touch on everything that matters. This reminds me, I totally need to get my hands on Smoke and Mirrors. I'm up for a full-day of virtual driving.

Is there anything they missed? Brian Crecente

Inventory: 11 of Video Gaming's Strangest Moments [The Onion]

Columbine Video Game Stirs Controversy
A controversial web videogame, Super Columbine Massacre RPG, allows players to act as the shooters in the Columbine High School slayings of 1999. What do you think?

Richard Banker,
Technical Project Manager
"Good. I think that town has healed enough."

Lloyd Karlin,
Physicist
"The game is disgusting. Cheesy 2-D graphics, bland topography, and no multi-player capability. What kind of animal would design such a thing?"

Man on the street [The Onion]