In reference to speculative stories that have appeared recently, in January of 2008 we announced that the game would be released in the fiscal year of '08/'09. And at this point in time we are not ready to be more specific than that. We will begin to communicate more once we feel the time is right for us and our fans.

As the folks at CVG pointed out, last year's Ubidays event saw the game being played by developers, so the vague statements and lack of any assets definitely points towards a complete reworking, and those are never good.

Perhaps they just wanted to stuff it with extra awesome? Maybe? A little?

Ubisoft "not ready to be more specific" on Splinter Cell [CVG]

F-Zero X (Nintendo 64 - 1,000 Points) Been awhile since we've seen an N64 game popping up, and this one is certainly no slouch. An excellent title for it's time, I wouldn't spend 1,000 points on it, especially considering I can get F-Zero GX used for $7.99, and that'll run on the Wii just fine.

Street Fighter® II' Turbo: Hyper Fighting (SNES - 800 Points) Another title I wouldn't spend points on, simply because I've played it to death. There is nothing novel at all about playing an old version of Street Fighter on a shiny new console. Besides, everything plays Street Fighter II these days - I was playing it from inside Second Life this weekend. This fulfills my need to mention Second Life at least once a week.

China Warrior (TGFX16 - 600 Points) The story of a man whose wife is killed at their wedding by gang members, and he arms himself with the dishes from the reception hall to deal out fine porcelain justice. You can hit the jump for the real description, but mine is much more intriguing.

So a couple of big names this week in SF and F-Zero, but nothing that really screams "BUY ME". I guess I'll just have to show the world my Pokemans instead. Michael Fahey

WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ADDED TO WII SHOP CHANNEL

June 25, 2007

Forget the lemonade and long naps. If it's summer action you're after, head straight to the Wii Shop Channel for a thrill-packed selection of fast-driving, high-flying, hard-hitting games. This week's new additions include futuristic racers and fierce fighters guaranteed to liven up your lazy summer.

Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the Wii Shop Channel every Monday. Wii™ owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

F-Zero® X (Nintendo® 64, 1-4 players, Rated E for Everyone, 1,000 Wii Points): Choose from 30 different hover-car racers, including updated versions of the Blue Falcon and other vehicles from the original F-Zero, and get ready to play one of the fastest racers ever. You'll speed to the finish line on tracks that twist and turn through the air, doing your best to avoid the other 29 cars on the track. If you're in a competitive mood, try to win a Grand Prix Cup, get the fastest lap time in a Time Trial or destroy the competition in a Death Race. You can also challenge three friends in the Versus mode. With five separate play modes, hidden vehicles and courses, and an excellent soundtrack, F-Zero X still represents one of the best racing titles to date.

Street Fighter® II' Turbo: Hyper Fighting (Super NES®, 1-2 players, Rated T for Teen -Violence, 800 Wii Points): Street Fighter II defined gaming in the 1990s by revolutionizing the fighting-game genre. Regarded as one of the greatest games of all time, Street Fighter II' Turbo: Hyper Fighting was the third and final release in the original series. Featuring the eight original World Warriors (including Ryu, Chun Li and Guile) along with playable boss characters (Balrog, Sagat and M. Bison), this classic title offered enhanced playing speed and improved character balancing.

China Warrior (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, Rated E10+ for Everyone 10 and Older -Violence, 600 Wii Points): China Warrior is a side-scrolling action game that was released around the same time as the TurboGrafx16 in Japan. It's up to the kung fu master Wang to defeat the Dark Emperor, who stands atop the kung fu world in China. Punch, kick and jump-kick enemies along the path that lies between you and the three bosses of each stage. Skillfully fight your way through all four stages, and be sure not to miss recovery items while dodging enemy attacks. China Warrior boasts character size and detail that rivaled all other games at the time of its release. Exciting one-on-one fights against the game's realistic bosses will make you feel like you're in the middle of a kung fu movie.

As you may or may not know, many of Gawker's other sites do public executions, ripping away a person's commenting access publically while also shaming them with jibes about their family ancestory, currently living arrangements and, if necessary, their general appearance.

I've never been one to like such things. I love our readers and when, on that infrequent occasion, one of them happens to go astray by, for instance, posting "this isn't news" or "I slept with your wife" I typically send out our silent but deadly brood of Ninja monkeys to dispatch them with speed and effeciency. Few, besides the poster, ever know what happened.

But today we have a special case. A spammer. A lackey. A sycophant. (Actually, I don't even know what that means, but I like the sound of it.)

And for this one occasion we've decided to cage up the monkeys and bring out the pirates. Yes, it's time for a someone to walk the plank... I considered dropping him off on the shores of IGN and sailing into the sun, but I'm not a cruel man.

For the crimes of:

Spamming Kotaku and really pissing off the readers, singing the praises of a really, really shitty game, not bothering to try and at least disguise his spam as something suitable for the stories he's posting in, begging people to play Left Behind, pretending that Left Behind is anything but the bible-thumping creation of a bunch of Croatian sweat shop coders, being a ultra super douche lord

I sentence SJR to have his commenting tongue plucked from his screaming mouth and his still writhing body to be tossed from the side of the Goodship Kotaku.

May God have mercy on his soul.