You know David Jaffe, right? He might've made some video games — we have some vague recollection of that — but he's mainly known now for his mouthing off. Apparently, Jaffe's public online assessment of one of our nation's vice presidential candidates got some attention, mainly from site GamePolitics.com, who gave Jaffe a bit of a hypertext-lashing. Jaffe's back, not making video games again, and defending his assessment of Alaska governor Sarah Palin's fuckability. Too bad we'll likely see Jaffe's Homeland, because it's clear the man is passionate about his politics.

We know what it's for John: making us seriously consider purchasing a commercial truck with bright red rims and Samba de Amigo branding, then having a custom horn installed that blares "El Ritmo Tropical" at anyone whose driving technique we disagree with.

Wicked Sweet Projects by SCAD Inc [SCAD, via Gizmodo]

Gamers get a chance to download a blank snowboard, fancy it up with their own designs and then enter it into the contest. Every other week until October, two of the designs will be selected to be included in the video game. Fans will than vote to decide which two boards they like best, both of which will be turned into real Burton snowboards.

According to the fine print, the winners selected on Aug. 15 will be added into the game "before it hits shelves" and receive a Wii and a Wii Fit balance board.

Art of the Ride

"These are not officially licensed products, we always recommend the use of official first or third party Nintendo products to ensure 100 per cent compatibility and reliability with our hardware. We always closely monitor new products entering the market to ensure that they do not infringe on any of our IP."

Which, because a cover on a balance board has absolutely shit to do with "compatibility," means: "We can't stop this yet, but one slip-up and their ass is grass and we're gonna mow it."

Compared to some things we've seen involving a balance board, this is quite tame. The covers retail for $20 and can be found on Amazon. Manufacturer AMR Racing does them for the balance board, Rock Band instruments, and other peripherals.

Nintendo Distances Itself From Unofficial Balance Board Covers [GamesIndustry.biz]

After reaching a certain level of progress — the theory is cumulative laps driven, as it's struck gamers at differing points in their careers — the profile becomes corrupted and freezes the game right at the load screen. There is no other way to play the game except to delete the file and start all over. You can see a video of it here — but it takes 7 minutes to explain what was just said above. There is, however, a swell parakeet whistling in the background.

Of course, using a memory stick and disabling auto-save is one workaround. That doesn't help anyone who had no idea he'd bought a defective game and finds out about this after putting 20 or 30 hours worth of effort into it.

Reader S.H. (who tipped us here) says EA Sports is not responding to forum posts, emails or any calls for help (which the video helpfully points out). No wonder they're putting Peter Moore's face into a boxing game. That'll probably crash, too.

Seriously, EA Sports, why is it amateur hour all of a sudden? What the fuck is the matter with you people?

Addendum: If you're gonna hate on me for the headline, I grew up in Elkin, N.C., 20 minutes from North Wilkesboro, where they used to race twice a year, and on a clear Saturday night I could hear Friendship Speedway from my house. I come by this honestly, friend.

*NASCAR 09 Warning for 360* Back Up Your Saved Profile [Operation Sports forums]

Soul Calibur [sic] IV Gameplay [Youtube]

After several days, today I could shoot a prototype hard drive for the Wii. According to what we've been seeing these days, work is well underway and I think it could be submitted on July 15 at the Kodak Theatre.
I would like to have one to experiment ^_^

But this "prototype" is fake. Like, really, really, really fake. Hilariously so. Okay, let's say that Nintendo actually did put stickers on prototypes that read "Confidential Property of Nintendo". Hey, maybe they do! See that picture of the label? It's kind of hard to make out the Japanese, but there is Japanese. And Nintendo is a Japanese company. As a Japanese company, Nintendo does know how to use the Japanese language correctly. The person who made that sticker does not. At all. So let's look at where this "prototype hard drive" exposes itself as a big, fat faker. That, after the jump.

The top of the label reads:

特定の販売の禁止。これは従来のハードドライブのディスクではない、ハンドルを慎重にします。

Which makes little to no sense whatsoever in Japanese. You know when you see funny English with funny grammar written by Japanese people? This is the EXACT SAME in reverse. Right up there, that translates as (grammatical errors intentional) "Prohibited to be selling of specified. This is not prior art hard drive disk, we will treat steering wheel carefully!" As game localizer and author Matt Alt points out, the person who made this probably typed "Please Handle With Care" in a machine translator and got something about being nice to a steering wheel. See, the word "handle" in Japanese is "steering wheel" and a machine translator doesn't know the difference! If that wasn't enough, the label's bottom reads:

このモデルのみで使用RVT−R１！

Love the exclamation point. Even better, love what that translates to: "RVT-R1 that we use only this model!" Once again, grammatical errors intentional.

Robert334's photostream [Flickr]

Better still, McGee decided that those episodes, their are eight in the first volume, will be free to play for the first 24 hours of release. The best is that the very first episode, A Boy Learns What Fear Is, will be permanently free when it hits on July 31.

Those who want to play the rest of the games episodes at their leisure will have to sign up for the GameTap Gold service. Not a bad idea. It certainly shows just how much faith GameTap has in the game.

Hit the jump for the break down of episodes and scans from the press release story book that GameTap sent along today. Be warned, it ends with everyone dying!

July 31: A Boy Learns What Fear Is
Aug 7: Little Red Riding Hood
Aug 14: The Fisherman and His Wife
Aug 21: Puss in Boots
Aug 28: The Girl Without Hands
Sept 4: Godfather Death
Sept 11: The Devil and His Three Golden Hairs
Sept 18: Beauty and the Beast

Saw this a few days ago at my local Sams Club in Douglasville Ga.
I picked it up to verify it is for the Wii. The release is, I think, is a week or two away.
Sorry for the poor quality. I was in a huge rush.

According to Seattle 911, after one too many disagreeable bong-hitting sessions, the roommate who gets high only on life shattered said bong on the sidewalk. Bong-smasher was met the next day with a wet Xbox that "smelled like urine" and controllers that were partially glued to... something. No arrests were made.

Clearly not news, just one of those daily affirmation type stories that reminds you that you're not a total loser.

Dumb criminal tricks [Seattle 911 - thanks, Ted?]

Running with Scissors just announced that his Postal film won not one, but two awards at the Hoboken International Film Festival. Boll took home $500 cash money for the best director award, beating out the directors of films like Crazy, Strange Girls, The Sensei and Flyboys. Oh, snap! Boll beat out D. Lee Inosanto!!!

Postal also was named the best of the festival despite showings of The Noogies, In The Eyes of a Killer, Predator’s Return and The Pack.

"When the fans speak, WE WIN,” said Vince Desi, the movies executive producer and founder of Running With Scissors. “We know this from our experience in the game industry and now the film business just confirms it. The continued success of the POSTAL franchise in all its forms is proof that democracy works; you cannot stop what’s in the hearts of the people. Freedom will always triumph over tyranny."

The New Jersey awards fly in the face of the movies mysterious box office opening when it hit 13 screens nationwide, and put a little salve on Boll's ego, bruised when hundreds walked from a free screening of the movie earlier this month... oh wait, that was at the same festival.

Balloon Guy has an equally impressive/horrific Mario on display, but some of these things are not for the queasy. Regardless of what potential nightmares await, we've yet to see such an impressive display of video game characters constructed from balloons, like, ever.

Balloon Guy Entertainment [The Official Site - thanks, Ty!]

It's notable for being one of the few good uses for Donkey Konga bongo controllers and perfect as a response to confusing internet situations. You're welcome to make a copy with text that reads "I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of Amy Winehouse with bongo controllers."

Image via Bauer-Griffin.

If you listen to the brayings of uninformed crisis-mongers like CNN's Glenn Beck, you'd get the idea that Grand Theft Auto IV not only requires drunk driving in the game, but also is training people to do it in real life, and convincing them they can get away with it. Seems plausible. After all, Guitar Hero has also convinced millions they too can play a guitar and get away with it in real life.

This NSFW long-awaited (and teased) Kotaku original video, conceived with a lot of suffering (and you'll see it in the end) explores how easy, and hard, it is to do things drunk in GTA IV. And yes, we're carrying it to a logical — and inappropriate — extreme. There's more discussion (and spoilers? I feel stupid typing that) after the jump. So watch it on the front page — probably not around polite company either — and then go looking for more.

While the game's drunk driving engine is no party, it is nothing like playing the game totally hammered. Both are of course, a stupid waste of time (and liquor). But a lot of what you saw was me actually trying to drive carefully, while I was sober and Niko drunk, and then just saying fuck it as I got drunk and progressively drunker.

You can also see me completely mistaking the controls (laying on the X button to powerslide and turning on the headlights instead; changing the radio station during the rollover, and firing the gun instead of hitting the brake.) Big newsflash: Being drunk slows your reaction time and makes you prone to errors.

But in all honesty, anyone who says this game trains you to drive drunk is an imbecile, and anyone who believes such a statement also is an imbecile. With the two-stick, above-the-car perspective, maybe it could train you to drive an RC car drunk. But that isn't a felony. The first-person drunken cab ride sequence is a more realistic approximation of alcohol and cars, and you are in the backseat, a danger to no one.

Some other details:

• We had a segment about hailing a cab that was cut for space. But Rockstar does not make it easy on you, at least in the 360. I was laying on the left bumper to hail a taxi, never got any indication one was, unless I saw its turn signal come on, and half the time I ended up carjacking it.
• Also, if you stumble out of the bar trashed and can't find a cab, you can set your controller down and make a sandwich. Niko sobers up completely in three minutes; the controller stops vibrating after 2:30.

• If you don't get my toast, I was being a little esoteric (read: hammered) at that point. It was a tribute to commenter Bakeroo's +1 win comment on May 18, in the Lego Boulder post.

• Yes, I am impersonating David Hasselhoff in the introduction sequence. Major kudos to Adam Barenblat for learning how to do the 3D relative zoom effect just for this video.

• This was culled from more than 20 minutes of gameplay footage. I tried to keep a crash and body count but, as you can tell, I'm not that detail-oriented after about six shots of Early Times bourbon. Early Times did not actually sponsor this, but I am in general grateful to that company.

• I actually ended up doing nine shots. What you don't see is, after shot eight, I got up (camera still on) and stumbled around to take a break. Then I realized I had to finish this, thought I hadn't done my eighth, pounded that and played out the last drive.

• The ending was in fact staged.

• I slept from 8:30 pm to 8 am the next day following this. The hangover I had is deterrent enough for me, and it should be for you.

For better or worse, Haze carries the distinction of being a PlayStation 3 exclusive and has the development pedigree of being created by the team responsible for seminal console shooters like GoldenEye 007 and the Timesplitters series. Unfortunately for Free Radical—and gamers—Haze won't be as fondly remembered as those two first person classics.

Loved
Mechanically Sound: Haze is a competent shooter, with somewhat interesting gameplay mechanics and tight—not to mention fully customizable—controls. It's meat and potatoes stuff, but the gunplay works rather well. Multiplayer is similarly competent but dry, with a serviceable, but run of the mill weapons selection.
Four Player Co-op: The pop-in, pop-out co-op campaign mode worked like a charm, turning the single player mode into a full sprint. You'll fly through the campaign mode if you're with a moderately skilled crew. Sadly, cut scenes cannot be skipped and at least one runs a good ten to fifteen minutes.

Hated
Idiot AI: Even on harder difficulties, computer controlled opponents don't put up much of a fight. AI enemies will abandon cover in lieu of running straight at you, guns blazing. Your teammates are useless for anything but drawing an auto turret's attention, as they'll routinely walk into your line of fire, then turn on you when you accidentally shoot them. Only then do they have any accuracy, resulting in frustrating deaths.
Great Concepts Are Squandered: Haze has some interesting gameplay twists, many that you'll like never use outside of the tutorials. As a Mantel trooper, you're in no danger of running low on Nectar, nor is there a threat of overdosing, outside of one obligatory over-Nectaring that seems to come out of nowhere. As the Promise Hand, burying grenades underground—you have the superhuman ability to dig through metal and concrete with your bare hands!—is largely pointless, as you'll be better served sticking to your rifle or super powerful pistol. In fact, you'll probably be doing yourself a disservice, likely dying in the process, trying to take advantage of some of Haze's marketed features.
Bland Overload: You'll be doing plenty of giant lever pulling in Haze while traversing its dull, often ugly environments. There's noticeable texture tearing and you'll see low quality textures and models popping in and out, even in cut scenes and with a mandatory 4 GB install. There's not much variety in the guns, as each side has its own semi-automatic rifle and shotgun, with a boring rocket launcher and flamethrower that spews hideous fire effects rounding out the more interesting weapon diversions. Virtually every aspect of the visuals is underwhelming.
Grating Dialogue: After you hear one of your Mantel buddies spout out a brain-dead line like "This is the most fun I've ever had with my pants on!" or "This sure beats pumpin' gas!" again and again or Promise Hand rebels repeating "Remember your promise to Merino!" for the hundredth time, you'll wish they were all dead. There's an an odd mix of mangled rap lyrics, heavy handed philosophy and dramatic cut scenes that come off as unintentionally comedic. "Yeah, boyeeee!"? Really?
Dull Main Character: As Shane Carpenter, you're an easily manipulated rube, a clueless sergeant with a wimpy voiceover who is unconvincing in his convictions. It's difficult to emotionally invest in him as your vessel, because he's not entirely empty, just saying enough to give him a shred of unlikable personality.

Free Radical has an interesting game buried deep within Haze, it's just layered beneath archaic gameplay and half-executed concepts that it's hard to get excited about any of the eight hours spent in the single-player campaign. Those eight or so hours feel unnecessarily padded, as you'll spend a painfully long time watching unskippable cut scenes and, later, escorting a slow missile deployment system and clearing a mine field that feels like busywork. Players may find more value in Haze's multiplayer modes, if they've got a thirst for generic Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch after running through the five Team Assault levels.

There's really no reason to recommend Haze over similar titles in the PS3 library. The game feels less polished than it should, seemingly "good enough" for release after suffering multiple delays. The story is forgettable, the weapons nearly indistinguishable and the seemingly strong concepts so poorly implemented that you'll have a hard time convincing three of your friends to drop whatever else they're playing for a co-op slog through the thing.

Haze was developed by Free Radical, published by Ubisoft. Retails for $59.99. Available on PlayStation 3. Played single player campaign to completion on normal difficulty, played campaign co-op mode for five chapters. Tested all multiplayer modes and harder difficulties.

Sony has a very good record in our ranking guide. They have committed to eliminating these chemicals from mobile devices. But why are we finding them in such high percentages in a console? This is a tool used by children in our homes. None of these chemicals exist in Sony's Vaio laptop. So if they can do it for a laptop, why can't they push this for the console also?

Greenpeace has taken things into its own hands. Literally. The environmental organization has dissected each of the three major game consoles and examined how environmentally sound the consoles' innards are.

Results, after the jump. Onward!

PLAYSTATION 3
• The console contains some bromine-free circuit boards — unlike the other two consoles
• The fan housing, however, has the highest level of bromine in a single component
• It contains PVC, but not as much as the Xbox 360

Xbox 360
• Only console containing DiNP phthalates — found in the AV cable.
• It contains the highest concentration of phthalates
• The console has more PVC than the Wii and the PS3.
• Its housing materials had lower levels of bromine, though.

Nintendo Wii
• Phthalates level is lowest of the three and doesn't exceed EU laws limiting phthalate.
• It has the lowest level of PVC of the three.
• Unlike the PS3 and the Xbox 360, the Wii doesn't contain Beryllium.

FASCINATING.
Greenpeace Results [SmartPlanet Thanks, Adam!]
Greenpeace Results [BBC]

We've seen many beautiful faces representing themselves as gamers, of course; booth babes, models and even amateur cam girls using photos of themselves posed suggestively with game paraphernalia to sell products or drive web hits. Because of this phenomenon, every time you see a so-called "hot gamer chick," the temptation is to assume she can't possibly be an actual gamer.

So is Jo Garcia the real deal? Full interview - and slightly NSFW pics - follow the jump.

"People don't understand that that the whole gaming world is not just for geeks, and assume that every person who plays video games is a geek that wears glasses," Garcia said. "It's a misnomer that needs to be put to rest."

Garcia told us she plays PC games and console titles, and owns both a Nintendo DS and a PSP. "It's something that I carry with me everywhere, like some people carry their iPods. It's the norm to me. I've had people send me messages like, 'oh you play video games?' And I'm like, 'why are you so surprised?"

"If I could get a job... being a game tester, I would do that all day long."

Wouldn't she get sick of it? "I don't think I would! I think that's one of those things... like you can eat chocolate all day long, and I can play video games all day and I'll get lost in them."

Her favorite games? "I love RPGs that tell stories," she said, listing the Final Fantasy series, Radiata Stories and the Xenosaga trilogy among her favorites.

"I like those games because they have a lot of sidequests," Garcia said. "You can build up your character doing small things. I'm 100 hours into FFXII and I'm not even done with the game yet. I'm doing all the hunts and the sidequests - I'm probably a third into the game and my guys are at level 60. I hold my characters high so when I go through the game it's a lot easier."

Yeah. But did she get the Zodiac Spear?

"I actually got the Zodiac Spear the first time I played it... you have to go through hell to get that spear, but I happened to get it the first time because someone told me about it. You can't open certain boxes, but then you have to go through and fight that nasty esper at the end... I died three times before I actually beat it."

Garcia talked quite a bit about RPGs, with an enthusiasm for detail familiar to fans of the genre. She's aware, though, that both gamers and non-gamers might have a hard time believing that a winning Playboy model defers social time with pals to focus on her game console - perhaps because of the manipulative way in which the game industry uses pretty girls, or pretty girls use the game industry, to earn appeal.

Garcia has seen plenty of models paid to act like game fans when they're not, but said it's not the models' fault. "Sex sells," she said. "The thing that most of the guys see... the women taking pictures with an Xbox to make it look more glamorous... you can't blame so much the models, but the companies. [The models] are being paid to be there, like at the game conventions. I know a lot of girls that shoot that kind of stuff, but it's not done on purpose."

"They're trying to make it appeal to men. And I think men need more... finessing than women do. You can do woman-based advertising on a product, but I think if a woman wants to play video games, she's going to buy it regardless of the ads," Garcia said.

"[A woman] thinks more when she makes a purchase, versus guys have to be lured in. So if you just give them something cheezy, that's going to be implanted in their head and they're going to be like, 'I have to buy Call of Duty 4.' Women don't need that finessing. You can give her a million-dollar advertisement, and if she doesn't want to buy it she's not going to buy it."

How, then, does Garcia think that women might dissolve some of the misconceptions around females and games? "I think just playing them," she said. "Even something as small as just doing this. I've shot Playboy stuff with my PSP, and people have asked if I really play video games, and I respond back. I think, just getting more involved in it, and doing more with it, and seeing where it goes."

By the way, according to Garcia, one of Hugh Hefner's favorite rooms at the Playboy Mansion has a broad museum of old arcade cabinets. After seeing it on her first tour, Garcia decided to spend her visit hanging out in there.

"I was in there probably the whole time I was at the house, because I wanted something to do," she said. "I almost finished the whole Donkey Kong while I was there."

miwi game console is nothing like a wii, really [technabob]

So someone already did Dress Like Niko, can anyone tell me how much this business-caz ensemble goes for? I think I could pull off that look.

And remember children, bone masks are OK. Skull bongs are not.

Image of the Day: Scorpion Gets a Spiffy New Look [Game With a Brain]

For those who've been consumed by all things Niko and Liberty City, you can see what the fuss is at the following links.

Justify Your Mario Kart Wii
Mario Kart Wii Driving School Impressions
The Kartokumentary
Mario Kart Wii Across America
A 6-Year-Old's Take on the Wii Wheel
Going Online With Mario Kart Wii (And Hands On With That Wheel Thing)

So, I'm seriously considering taking a day off of work April 29, or whenever it gets here. I made an ultra-quick decision on a new apartment just so I could be fully moved in by the time it arrives. Ordinarily, I never leave a forwarding address, just to give bill collectors the slip. I will this time just in case it gets sent to my old address after I leave. And there are other little subtle things going on that, at root, are preparations for the arrival of this mammoth game.

I'm not a father and I'm about a thousand miles from even enjoying the essential act of that, lately. But it's rather like a young couple welcoming baby into their home. Except baby packs combat shotguns, rocket propelled grenades, brass knuckles, etc.

So what are you doing to prepare for Grand Theft Auto IV? Flaked on family plans? Ditching work? Are you revisiting earlier titles? Finishing up any side missions to get to 100 percent? Revisiting any street races? (That reminds me, I still haven't played "Beat the Cock" in San Andreas ...) Let us know in the comments.

Ben Heck's Latest Wonder Project: PS3 Laptop [Gizmodo]

By all means, check it out, and the screen grabs, and the gameplay movies. Following the overblown, knocked-down Gears of War 2 debacle, I'm not thrilled to be touting GamePro with the first crack at it. But this isn't like the days at the Rocky Horror Mountain News, when The Denver Post would beat us on something and our editors would pretend it didn't exist. GamePro did get the exclusive, and you want to know about it. So here we are:

Hands-On: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots [GamePro]

And folks, I want to apologize for purely fucking up the publication of this story, if you saw it on the site and then it vanished. My first big screwup.

Second Life is a convenient punching bag for gamers, and I feel kind of bad caning on it two days straight. But it invites the abuse with this kind of oblivious, self-serious self-parody: Rep. Ed Markey's avatar gaveling the online hearing, and in the public gallery there is "a goth character with feathered wings, a pink cat, a phantom with shimmering gray dreadlocks, a winged grasshopper, women in tube and bikini tops, and a naked man floating through the air." At least the griefers didn't show up to overrun the meeting with flying penises.

Here's something: In real life, I loathe it when some demonstration making a point I support is inevitably overtaken by stilt-walkers, puppeteers and bongo-drumming hippies. Like, way to take that message to the mainstream, folks. In Second Life, aren't they sick of having every furry, faerie and goth speak for the whole — especially in Congress? Or are they the communities busybodies, the ones who come to every Second Life PTA meeting?

The Washington Post's Dana Milbank, writing about the hearing, notes that its ostensible purpose was in probing the downsides of online worlds (child exploitation, terrorist recruiting, etc.) He correctly points out that it amounted to "an infomercial for Second Life." The founder got to play a promotional video and boast that Second Life is changing the nature of communication itself. Um, no. Sequestering people at their computers for hours out of the day and ensuring their only contact with a human being — some of it sexual — is through the prism of a computer screen, is not for my money a real communication breakthrough. A variant, sure.

This reminds me of the time on King of the Hill, when Hank confronts the Christian rock band. "Listen, you're not making Christianity better, you're making rock and roll worse." I'd like to say the same thing, substituting "communication" for Christianity, and "online gaming" for "rock and roll."

Goofy Characters and Weird People — Sounds Like a Hearing [The Washington Post, thanks OriontheSmiter]

You're still proud of yourself for figuring it out.

Someone stick a walkthrough on Gamefaqs, please. I'm busy posting.

You Have to Burn the Rope

Mass Effect to Land on PC in May 2008

Award-Winning Epic Will Be Published By EA

REDWOOD CITY, Calif.—(BUSINESS WIRE)—Leading video game developer, BioWare™, an Electronic Arts Inc. (NASDAQ:ERTS) company, has announced that the award-winning space epic Mass Effect™ will be released for the PC in May 2008. Published by EA and re-designed for the PC, Mass Effect invites players to take the role of Commander Shepard as they set out on an adventure to save the galaxy from imminent destruction. Wrought with treachery, heroism, difficult decisions and a universe filled with unique and colorful species, Mass Effect delivers a truly compelling storyline.

Optimized for the PC, Mass Effect for the PC incorporates the following features:

* Optimized controls designed specifically for the PC.
* High resolution visuals - Mass Effect for the PC features highly detailed textures, characters and environments.
* Fully customizable controls - PC gamers can re-map the control scheme any way they like.
* Run & Gun Control - Players can assign biotic powers or skills to 'hot keys' allowing them to play Mass Effect with a heavier focus on action.
* New decryption mini-game.
* New inventory screen GUI and functionality - The enhanced inventory system makes it easier for players to equip and modify their weapons and armor.

"Mass Effect serves as a powerful example of video games as an art form, delivering new levels of emotional intensity, realistic characters and a gripping storyline - all set in a compelling new universe," said Ray Muzyka, General Manager, BioWare and Vice President, Electronic Arts. Frank Gibeau, President of EA's Games Label added, "EA has struck an agreement with Microsoft to handle future publishing for Mass Effect. We are looking forward to releasing Mass Effect on the PC this Spring and brand new titles in the future."

Originally released for the Xbox 360™ videogame and entertainment system, Mass Effect has received critical acclaim throughout the world with more than 70 awards including Game of the Year, Console Game of the Year and Role-Playing Game of the Year. Mass Effect combines a deep story with intense combat and challenges the player to make difficult decisions that can significantly impact the course of events. An innovative conversation system allows for lifelike interaction with some of the most realistic digital actors, voiced by Hollywood actors such as Seth Green, Marina Sirtis, Lance Henriksen and Keith David. Mass Effect for the PC has not yet been rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board.

Reader William was there to capture the tragedy, for this we thank him.

So from the entire Kotaku staff, happy holidays and merry whatever you celebrate. And to Valve, thank-you...and we're very, very sorry.

Voices in order of butchery: Michael Fahey, Mark Wilson, Brian Crecente, Brian Crecente, Luke Plunkett.
Lyrics by Fahey, Crecente and Wilson
Video by Mark Wilson

I don't usually get much gaming related stuff as gifts. Mostly that's because I have most of what I want, and I don't usually ask for stuff. This Christmas, for instance, my wife gave me a spectacular world time wall clock (for tracking the sleep habits of my international writers coughlukeashcough), and a painting made by an elephant in Thailand on dung paper. I did, though, get a couple of gaming presents. One was a neat Mario and Luigi in 08 t-shirt and the other was this gaming ornament. It shows, I believe, Halmark's uneasy sense that there's something out there called video games and they totally need to jump on to that bandwagon. Unfortunately, they missed by about a decade. Still fun to hang on the tree though.

While only one of the tech demos looks somewhat playable—a simple Lunar Lander-style mini-game controlled with the SIXAXIS—the others are still impressive. Take a gander and day dream of the possibilities.

Video of New Research Conducted with PlayStation Eye [PlayStation.blog]

Atari Secures $10 Million For Continued Operations [Gamasutra]

And it might just have the best name ever: World Heroes Gorgeous! The emphasis is mine.

Seriously, does it get any better than "gorgeous"? No, I don't think it does. Please take a few minutes to enjoy the ultimate fighting game name and mourn the loss of "turbo" and "hyper." They were good to us.

So the Denver Press Club, which had offered up their usually vacant building to use the fundraiser I was thinking of doing in has unexpectedly, and with no notice, backed out. Apparently they can make more money renting the place for parties then donating it for a weekday night for charity. Go figure.

Anyway I hit up a new place tonight to see if I could sweet talk the price down. Even if I can't I might just rent the place out of pocket, wtf. The best part? If I can get the place its got an honest to god stage, one used by many a well known musician. How kick ass would it be to play Guitar Hero 3 or Rock Band up there?

What you missed:
Mystery Record (perhaps a charity item too)
Jack Black's first Brutal Legend Song, Sorta
Eye of Judgment Play
Super Smash Bros. Brawl Hands On Impressions
Super Mario Galaxy Power Ups Revealed

MTV: What would you do to if you remade the "Super Mario Bros." movie?

Boll: Nooooo. "Super Mario Brothers"? No, I would never do this.

MTV: But what would you do to make it better?

Boll: Nothing! I don't think you can make it good, "Super Mario Brothers."

But still, it's like if you had a picture of Angelina Jolie making out with Scarlett Johansson. Your brain knows it's too good to be true, but you're gonna save the memory all the same for a lonely night when you might need it.

Halo 3 gamers + too much time = recorded madness [gamesradar]

Other than the financial overload, the "Tabula Rasa'' project was one of the big reasons many employees of NCsoft lost their confidence in CEO Kim. He hired Richard Garriott and his brother Robert Garriott in 2001 by allegedly paying 16 billion won ($17 million) in cash and 1.5 million shares in stock options, worth 50 billion won. But the brothers failed to deliver the product as promised, and the project has been protracted for six years.

"One of our annual events is to listen to Kim saying: `This year, we will finally release Tabula Rasa in the market,' in his New Year speech. I heard it four times since 2004,'' said a company insider last week. "The only person in the company who have trust in the Garriotts is the CEO,'' another said in 2006.

While the CEO was spending a great amount of the company's budget and resources on the project, many other talented Korean employees deserted him. In fact, the average service length of NCsoft employees is only two years, according to its annual financial report.

Pissed off employees are never a good thing to have in a company. An analyst also points out that NCSoft is targeting mostly the hardcore gaming population, which has a limited depth of market. Will expanding efforts in other parts of the world pull NCSoft out of the apparent slump, or just make problems more apparent?

NCsoft CEO Stands at Crossroads [The Korea Times]

The only thing better than a pre-order is a Valve pre-purchase, where you get to download, but not play, the game before it officially goes on sale.

Starting today Valve and GameStop have teamed up to pre-sell the PC version of The Orange Box to gamers interested in that whole pre-purchase concept. Anyone who pre-orders the game before Oct. 10 gets 10 percent off the regular price plus they can download and play the beta version of Team Fortress 2.

Hit the jump for all of the tantalizing details.

VALVE AND GAMESTOP ANNOUNCE PRE-PURCHASE PROGRAM FOR THE ORANGE BOX

Pre-Purchase The Orange Box for Special Price and Join the Team Fortress 2 Beta Now

September 24, 2007 - Valve and GameStop today announced that those who pre-purchase the PC edition of The Orange Box at GameStop, the world's largest video game and entertainment software retailer, before October 10th will save 10% off the regular price and gain access to the beta version of Team Fortress 2 for the PC.

The Orange Box, penned by IGN as ".the package which could legitimately be called the deal of the century," features three highly-awaited new games by Valve: Half-Life® 2: Episode Two, the second installment in the Half-Life 2 episodic trilogy; Team Fortress® 2, the sequel to the game that put class-based, multiplayer team warfare on the map; and Portal, the game that blends puzzles, first person action, and adventure gaming to produce an experience like no other.

To bring gamers up to date with the Half-Life 2 universe, The Orange Box also includes Half-Life 2, the best-selling and highest-rated action game series of all time, and the episodic debut Half-Life® 2: Episode One-together, more than 30 hours of award-winning gameplay. Customers who already own these titles will have the ability to conveniently "gift" them to a friend upon official release of The Orange Box.

Starting immediately, those who pre-purchase The Orange Box for PC at any GameStop retail store in the US will receive a key-code and instructions to download and activate the beta release of Team Fortress 2 from Steam. The beta will conclude with the release of The Orange Box on October 10th. This year's most anticipated online action game, Team Fortress 2 delivers new game types, a signature art style powered by Valve's next generation animation technology, persistent player statistics, and more.

The Orange Box will have a suggested retail price of $49.95 on the PC and $59.95 on the Xbox® 360 and Playstation® 3 console systems. The 10% pre-purchase discount also applies to all three versions at GameStop and participating retail outlets.

For more information about The Orange Box, please visit www.steamgames.com.