Drugs Are Bad, May Lead To Urine-Soaked Consoles

There's nothing that will make one feel more confident about one's life choices than combing through the police blotter. As a gamer and roommate myself, the Seattle Post Intelligencer's "Seattle 911" blog — which does the police report harvesting for you — makes me feel like one of the world's finest human beings. In a recent story about a scuffle between a pot head and his live-in gamer buddy, we learn not resolve our differences as these two do.

According to Seattle 911, after one too many disagreeable bong-hitting sessions, the roommate who gets high only on life shattered said bong on the sidewalk. Bong-smasher was met the next day with a wet Xbox that "smelled like urine" and controllers that were partially glued to... something. No arrests were made.

Clearly not news, just one of those daily affirmation type stories that reminds you that you're not a total loser.

Dumb criminal tricks [Seattle 911 - thanks, Ted?]

Ladies And Gentlemen, Master Chief As Balloons

We'll admit to not following advancements in balloon animal technology, so we were understandably blown away to see this nearly life-sized Master Chief inflatable construction—clearly not an animal. This is the stuff of dreams and nightmares, the work of a balloonsmith known as Balloon Guy, a master of the latex folding arts. Based out of Provo, Utah, Balloon Guy says he'll make almost anything "as long as it's family friendly." He's also in possession of a rather dapper vest!

Balloon Guy has an equally impressive/horrific Mario on display, but some of these things are not for the queasy. Regardless of what potential nightmares await, we've yet to see such an impressive display of video game characters constructed from balloons, like, ever.

Balloon Guy Entertainment [The Official Site - thanks, Ty!]

London Boy Has Copy Of Donkey Konga Signed By Amy Winehouse For Some Reason

Look, I don't get what's going on here either—and, yes, this is clearly not news—but apparently singer and controlled substance enthusiast Amy Winehouse will autograph whatever is handed to her when someone visits her London residence. A perfect example is that someone, a boy named Laurence we're told, knocked on Ms. Winehouse's door, offered up a copy of Donkey Konga for the Gamecube and a set of bongo controllers, upon which she scrawled something. I assume she then went off to pick fresh scabs while googly-eyed.

It's notable for being one of the few good uses for Donkey Konga bongo controllers and perfect as a response to confusing internet situations. You're welcome to make a copy with text that reads "I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of Amy Winehouse with bongo controllers."

Image via Bauer-Griffin.

Good news and bad news from the retail front. The recently released and uncharacteristically edgy Advance Wars: Days of Ruin is sold out at at least one Target store, which is a good thing for sales. The bad news? Target is suggesting to unsuspecting gamers—or God forbid, their parents, friends and loved ones—that an acceptable substitution for the game is the Game Boy Advance version of High School Musical. Proof that Target is run by sadists.

Reader William was there to capture the tragedy, for this we thank him.

World Heroes Gets Gorgeous!

Anyone out there remember World Heroes, Alpha Denshi's not that great fighting game for the Neo Geo platform? There were only a handful of them, with sequels like World Heroes 2 Jet and World Heroes Perfect hitting arcades throughout the early nineties. Fortunately for those who have fond memories of the 2D fighter, SNK Playmore is releasing a collection of four World Heroes games for the PlayStation 2.

And it might just have the best name ever: World Heroes Gorgeous! The emphasis is mine.

Seriously, does it get any better than "gorgeous"? No, I don't think it does. Please take a few minutes to enjoy the ultimate fighting game name and mourn the loss of "turbo" and "hyper." They were good to us.

Kotaku reader Henry passed on what may be considered a clever homage or a the work of a lazy graphic designer, as the Alma Mater Society's handbook for the coming school year at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver sports some strinkingly familiar imagery. We can only hope that no one was hurt during the tragic rolling up of the school and that someone issues a zombie army against these dogs of the AMS in retaliation for their swipe.

Big pic of the geeky handbook after the jump.

The Transformer Handheld

Nintendo's Frosty Schwag

Sweet Pirate Swag

Super Paper Mario in the House

Pirate v Ninja Makes The Paper

The Life-Sized Mario You Can't Buy

Now That's a Driving Game

Puzzle Quest Not On PC... Yet

GameStop Invades Grocery Store

Free Rockstar Games

Toronto's Religious "Sold Out" Mario Sign