This past week Kotaku recapped the year that was in video games, on subjects both naughty and nice. And before we know it, seven days will have passed, and we'll all begin working on another 365-chapter story of video games, how they're made, and who plays them.

For now, we invite you to revisit these retrospectives. And we thank you for choosing to spend a part of this holiday with Kotaku. From all of us, happy holidays, and a very merry Christmas to you.

2009 in Review
The Controversies
The Shows That Were
The Sports Video Game Report
The Disappointments
The Year, NSFW
The Trailers

Featured Stories
One Man's Year Making Assassin's Creed II
The Man Who Never Wanted To Make 'The Citizen Kane of Games'
The Batman-Maker Who Didn't Know The Meaning Of GOTY
Motion-Control Gaming Grabs The Spotlight

You can pick up that T-shirt (if you dig barfing robots) and some free mp3s at their Myspace page. I caught one of their tunes off this page, too.

They've been around for more than a year (their first album, on Eyeball Records, released last July.) I don't want to turn this into a discussion of trademark law because I'm trying to wind down my amateur freelance litigation career. Maybe Nintendo's mark doesn't cover indie/electro/pop music. So, carry on Metroid the band. But if anyone names their group "Grandma Incest" we're gonna have a lawsuit.

Metroid on MySpace Music [via GoNintendo]

Nintendo's Kensuke Tanabe, overseer of all things Metroid, tells the UK's Official Nintendo Magazine that the company is "always planning to make new games in the Metroid Prime series." And while Metroid: Other M is penciled in for a Wii release next year, the Prime series may return to the Nintendo DS for future iterations.

Tanabe says he "we cannot deny the possibility of realizing it on DS or DSi."

That backs up statements Tanabe made to Kotaku earlier this year. The Metroid producer said during an e-mail interview that Nintendo "will keep considering multiplayer for the Prime series," a feature included in 2006's Metroid Prime Hunters for the Nintendo DS.

Metroid Prime Still Has A Future [ONM UK]

It's IGN's Michael Thomsen that makes that argument, saying that the "dark and lonely world" of Welles' film is comparable to the environments presented in the Metroid Prime series. It's also the game's emphasis on exploration over combat and its reflection of Samus Aran's visage that helps to humanize the experience.

Maybe he's right. Metroid Prime is arguably the best GameCube game ever made. But is it as nearly universally praised by fans and critics of the medium, as Citizen Kane is in film? Does that even matter?

Where we might disagree—and not to take away from Retro Studios and Nintendo's work on the series—is on Metroid Prime's comparable technical and cinematographic accomplishments. Sure, Morph Balling in 3D works like a charm, but are they on par with Welles' and his crew's work? And does that matter?

And do we benefit in any way from the comparison?

Nintendo's Video Game Masterpiece [ABC via GoNintendo]

Our interview was conducted over e-mail, with questions sent to Nintendo a few weeks ago and responded to by members of the Nintendo-owned Retro Studios in Austin, Texas as well as by the game's Japan-based producer, Kensuke Tanabe. The team had just finished the development of Metroid Prime Trilogy, a compilation of the two GameCube Metroid Prime games, the pioneering 2002 and 2004 first-person adventure gamesin the 23-year-old Metroid series, as well as their 2007 Wii sequel, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.

The veteran Tanabe was the one who hinted at the future of Metroid Prime — a series that seemed to have concluded with the release of 2007's Corruption. Responding to a Kotaku question about whether the Metroid series has the potential for multiplayer popularity equal to GoldenEye's or Halo's, Tanabe said, "As all I take part in is the Prime series, I am not capable of commenting on the whole Metroid series. But we will keep considering multiplayer for the Prime series. For instance, I think I can come up with some unique ideas using the Morph Ball, which is a specific skill of Samus."

That can of response will make a Metroid fan do a double-take. Tanabe's open consideration for more modes to a series thought by many fans had concluded is a tantalizing comment. Unfortunately, it is also a vague one, and one that Kotaku was unable to clarify due to the e-mail nature of the interview.

But as cagey as Tanabe was with that answer, he and Retro were generously specific in response to other Metroid inquiries.

Take jumping, for example.

How did Retro Studios manage to make — with the creation of 2002's Metroid Prime — arguably the first first-person video game with decent platform-jumping?

"One of the first considerations we had in developing the player package was how to make platforming approachable to the player," Retro's senior designer Mike Wikan told Kotaku over e-mail. "We experimented with many ideas, including having the camera pitch down a little after the jump apex, fields of view, standardized platform sizes and jump heights as well as player gravity to strike the right balance of approachability and positive tension. Once we locked those basic things down, we were able to build the rest of the game around it."

Tanabe explained even more tricks the team used to make platforming in Prime a pleasure: "As Mike just mentioned, we have discussed very, very carefully about the feature of jumping. We decided not to create jumps so high that Samus can only barely reach [them] or long valleys that Samus could jump, or to design footholds larger than our specific basis. At any rate, we solidified these standards by discussing with Retro about including an additional layer of safety, even in areas where we felt when playing the game ourselves that the jumps were doable. "

Platforming worked in Prime, allowing Retro's series to present, in first-person 3D, a version of the leaping actions that heroine Samus Aran performed in the original 2D Metroid games. Bit by bit, other staples of the 2D games made it into the Prime games, including Samus' mid-air attack-acrobatics known as the Screw Attack, which was implemented in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. One of the only 2D Metroid power-ups that didn't make it into Prime was the Speed Boost, a super-charged running ability that would allow Samus to dash through walls, exploding through dirt and rock-filled caves as if they were empty hallways. It's a cool ability that went missing.

"The Speed Boost was something we were interested in trying early on," Wikan told Kotkau, "But we found that limitations imposed by the scale of our environments — as well as the first-person player viewpoint — made that system less appealing. We discussed the possibility of developing something in third person that might work, but in the end determined that time spent developing that system would take away from so many other things we felt might be better explored."

The Speed Boost wasn't the team's only experiment with series features that was tricky to implement. The developers told Kotaku that they had considered making Samus' ship a more prominent aspect in Prime. The third game, which begins with the player, as Samus, piloting her vessel, was originally going to take that concept further. "Early in development of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption we played with the notion of making the ship a whole system of similar impact to the game as, say, the Morph Ball," Wikan said. "After discussions with [Tanabe's Nintendo development group in Japan] SPD and more thought on Retro's part, we felt that, while the ship was going to be an important part of the game (with the utilization of the command visor), it might take too much of the focus away from Samus and her struggle against the Space Pirates and Dark Samus."

Tanabe elaborated on this one too: "At the time we launched the Prime 3 project, we at Nintendo proposed that Retro plan a game system where the game takes place centered on the space ship, and they gave us ideas accordingly. On the other hand, we and Retro had agreed not to develop another game mode like a shooter in the space ship, which would take us a significant amount of work, as large as making another game title. With many discussions we reached the conclusion that we need a brand new system for this final chapter of the trilogy, and decided to use Hyper Mode utilizing Phazon as a pillar of the game play."

The developers of the Prime games had some unusual priorities. They were developing first-person games that many people would call first-person shooters. But, noted Wikan, "in those games our primary consideration was player movement and jumping in the environment so that they could more easily explore it. Shooting was a very important, though secondary, consideration." He noted that Retro is still proud of the original target-lock-on control scheme that didn't allow players to aim freely. It was featured in the original GameCube editions of the first two Prime games. The Wii release of Trilogy does away with those controls, in favor of the point-and-shot system of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Tanabe said the original scheme was ideal for the GameCube controller and that the Corruption and Trilogy method best suits the Wii Remote and Nunchuk.

The Metroid series will continue with 2010's Metroid: Other M, a Nintendo and Tecmo joitn project which involves one of Metroid's original creators, Yoshio Sakamoto, but neither Tanabe nor Retro. Despite their lack of involvement in this next game, the Prime creators spoke proudly of what they added to the series. "The expansion into fully three-dimensional exploration was obviously the most important element," Wikan said, "But it also added a great deal of character and depth to many of the creatures and themes explored in early Metroid games through the Scan Visor system. The Space Pirates, for instance, were given a great deal of character as well as a more unified intent in the series. In addition, the Metroid Prime series explored a great deal of new territory regarding the Federation and the Metroid universe as a whole, with the inclusion of new races like the Luminoth and the Ing. "

Wikan would like to see more of Metroid Prime 3's Galactic Federation and the Space Pirates in future Metroid projects and is hopeful that the visor system and enhanced grapple beam will "live on as well."

As for the Prime team's future, Retro has been working on a new mystery game. While the studio still focuses on a single project at a time, it was able to create Trilogy on the side with just a "handful of people," according to the studio's senior director of development, Bryan Walker. Retro isn't offering hints about what the next game will be. Said Tanabe, "Hopefully we can address some information in the next year."

See for yourself in the above comparison, uploaded yesterday by YouTube user ThunderChaosStudios. The cleanup didn't affect the rating process at all. All three games in the trilogy were originally rated teen, and so is the trilogy. One wonders why someone went to the trouble of eliminating the only(?) swear word in the game, one you hear on television daily.

I've contacted a Nintendo public relations rep for comment. If we hear back, we'll update the post here.

Metroid Prime: Corruptions Admiral Dane Drops the Curse Word [GoNintendo via Joystiq]

Serious Metroid fans may get a titter out of the referential piece, but conservative Galactic Federation types aren't going to approve of Aran's faux pro-gay marriage editorial. Hey, it's McSweeney's, not The Onion. It's dry, but amazingly authentic.

Now back to *my* Samus Aran lesbian coming out fanfic...

METROID'S SAMUS ARAN SPEAKS OUT ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE [McSweeney's]

Shown off at the recent Wonder Festival in Japan, and crafted by Dimension Diver, there's exquisite Mega Man, Roll, Samus, Aegis & Metis figures on show. For reference, if you had wanted to buy one of these, they would have set you back between ¥7,000 and ¥12,000 (USD$75-125).

Dimension Diver [Tokyo Hunter, via Tiny Cartridge]

By more, we really mean a paper sleeve in which to slide the Metroid Prime Trilogy tin in and out of. We could also mean all new presentation for two of those Metroid Prime games, which feature updated 16:9 aspect ratio visuals and new Wii controls for the original GameCube duo, Metroid Prime and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes.

Check out the back of the box after this.

Yoshio Sakamoto, Nintendo's long-time developer of 2D Metroids, and Yousuke Hayashi, head of Tecmo's Team Ninja, wouldn't tell me and Brian Crecente how Metroid Other M controls.

They wouldn't clarify how much of a 2D or 3D game Other M is.

Those fundamentals were kept secret during our E3 interview with the two men leading the collaboration between Nintendo, Ninja Gaiden development studio Team Ninja and a cut-scene production team led by a Team Ninja collaborator named Mr. Kitaura. That group, dubbed Project M, is creating the 2010 Wii exclusive Metroid Other M that closed Nintendo's E3 2009 press conference.

And while we did squeeze out of them that the game wouldn't support MotionPlus or the Wii Balance Board (they knew that was a joke question), Sakamoto and Hayashi were more eager to promote two aspects that Nintendo doesn't often use to sell its games: stylishness and story.

"Our goal is to provide the most interesting gameplay and deliver the most cool Metroid ever," Sakamoto said. It should be noted that Sakamoto has one of the most impressive resumes in the industry, so his desire to top past Metroids is a desire to top his own work. Back in the 80s, he did character design for the original Metroid. He directed or supervised most of the games in that series. He also did game design for Nintendo Entertainment System cult classic Kid Icarus and has produced most of the WarioWare games that followed the first of that series.

A legacy of Metroid development isn't all it takes to make Other M. In 2006, for all of Sakamoto's credentials, he found that his team of 2D-Metroid developers needed help to develop an idea he had for a Wii Metroid game. He wanted to make a game using 3D graphics.

Retro, the Nintendo-owned, Texas-based team responsible for the well-reviewed 3D Metroid Prime games, two of which were out by then, was, curiously, not an option. "Retro has their own approach toward Metroid games," Sakamoto said. "They had their own producer. Their approach to Metroid games has traditionally been the FPA — first person adventure — but my concept was kind of different than that and I was looking for a team that could bring my idea to life."

Enter Team Ninja, which, Hayashi said, "is very fond of Samus as a character. We've all got huge soft spots for her." Hayashi, a Team Ninja veteran whose youthful looks could let him pass for the almost-50 Sakamoto's son, most recently directed the well-regarded Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword on the Nintendo DS.

Interviews about Mario and Zelda games with Nintendo developers typically focus on gameply, but story and character were what Sakamoto wanted to emphasize, noting how the game fits into the timeline between the Super Nintendo's Super Metroid and the Game Boy Advance's Metroid Fusion: "With Fusion, that game was very story-driven. In that game, I believe I was able to explain Samus as a character, as a person, not just somebody in armor. And I was not only explain Samus but the characters around her… with Super Metroid I showed, through her relationship with the baby Metroid, some of her maternal instincts. Between those two stories I feel I was able to explain Samus as a person. But because Metroid equals Samus, I'd like to develop her character further, as a soldier, as a human, also as a woman. That's what they're hoping to do with Other M."

The two developers described the new project as one targeted right at Metroid fans. When I asked if there would be anything in the game for the Wii's expanded audience — say, for my mom — Hayashi said: "When Mr. Sakamoto approached me and my team with the game concept, it was definitely something I and my team felt would be a new challenge for them. Our take on this whole thing is we see the possibility to explore new territory within the Wii system. So we're hoping to create something that will appeal not just to fans of the series but to new users as well." Still, that lack of Balance Board support makes it clear that this Metroid game is unlikely to be going the casual-game route.

"Our goal in developing Other M," said Sakamoto, "Is to deliver the kind of Metroid that all fans want to play."

Morph ball and ice beam? Of course.

New abilities? Yes.

Progressions of the character's powers? That's the goal. Said Hayashi: "Metroid has definitely been one of those games where as the player progresses through the story you can really feel yourself powering up. You can really feel Samus evolving in terms of her abilities. I'd like to maintain that essence of the Metroid series. In addition, just the feel of the game, by being in there, the emotional experience for the player is something I feel responsible to maintain true to."

It's clear, though, that there will be a twist. The Project M team, Sakamoto said: "Will create a new Metroid unlike anything ever experienced before."

And when they're done, he wants them to work together again.

Metroid Other M is slated for release next year. Later this summer, Nintendo will release a Wii compilation of Retro's Metroid work, entitled Metroid Prime Trilogy.

Oh come on. Don't tell me you weren't thinking it. The studio's games, with or without former boss Tomonobu Itagaki, have always been as well known for their T&A as their swordplay and volleyball. So there are bound to be people hoping/fearing that they'll soon be seeing Samus bouncing around in naught but a thong and a helmet.

Don't worry. Hayashi says Team Ninja will be keeping things classy.

"Every female character in our games is as attractive as possible, both inside and out", Hayashi said. "There has to be something attractive".

"But as long as we provide that in the one place - the inside - that's what's important with this game".

Touching. Maybe they'll save the jubblies for Super Metroid Beach Volleyball Extreme?

[image]

During a Metroid interview yesterday with series director Yoshio Sakamoto and Team Ninja producer Yousuke Hayashi, we slipped in a question that was not about the newly announced Metroid: Other M.

Well, we thought it might be related.

For a few years, there have been rumors that Nintendo was working on a new side-scrolling Metroid game called Metroid Dread. There was even an easter egg reference to entities known as "Metroid Dreads" tucked into Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.

So, we wondered, could the long-incubating Metroid: Other M, which we learned was conceived in 2006, be the Dread project?

"He's very familiar with that [game,]" Sakamoto's translator said after posing our question to him. "No, this is different."

We pressed for details on what Dread is. Sakamoto's response: "The day may come when Dread hits the stores, but this one is something that's completely different. This is other M."

Team Ninja looks like it will do wonderful things with the Wii hardware, giving Metroid fans who crave a return to third-person action something to look forward to. And the promise of Team Ninja artists and Samus Zero Suit action is practically too much to bear.

A trio of new screens is available after this.

While the folks at Nintendo may not approve of Princess Peach, pictured, and Metroid's Samus Aran getting on-stage nude codes, clearly the throngs of nerds in attendance did. The LA Weekly was in attendance for this twice-in-a-lifetime baring all, photographically capturing the event at which lady Link got down to little more than a Hyrulian shield.

Other characters dressed up as, then down as, include Street Fighter's Chun-Li and Bloodrayne's Rayne. Hey, not everyone can be Peach.

Obviously, this is not at all safe for work, as it heavily features pasties. If this sort of thing sounds like something you'd like to see in person, a repeat performance will be held on June 3rd at the Bordello bar in LA. Just in time for E3!

Video Game Girls Burlesque @ Bordello [LA Weekly]

In honor of Mother's Day, we celebrate moms in gaming – from the bit parts to the big players. Some are examples of the best parenting you could imagine; and some are so evil, they're unfit to be called "Mom." Join us now as we separate the June Cleavers from the Joan Crawfords of video game mothers.

Mothers in… Role-Playing Games
Role-playing games have the highest number of moms of any video game genre. This is because RPGs have huge, sprawling plots with huge, sprawling towns and a huge, sprawling casts of characters who you may or may not encounter depending on how you play the game. In most RPGs, you see moms as non-playable characters in towns, in flashbacks depicting the hero's reason for revenge. Some RPGs even have them as playable characters or main villains. Sadly, RPGs are also the number one "mom dies" offender, as nearly every RPG features a plucky youth out to avenge a destroyed village that usually has within it a dead mother – or at least one that's been turned into a monster.

There are way more mothers in RPGs than we could count – especially if you're going through side quests, all PC RPGs, all Japanese RPGs that were never released in the US, Final Fantasy X-2 and every single optional flashback for every possible playable character. So we've populated this list with moms who 1) had the most impact on the game's main plot or that 2) appear in the game beyond a single expository cut scene. This leaves us mostly with moms who appear in Japanese RPGs; but be sure to apologize to your dead mother in Fallout 3 for us.

Mada, Dragon Quest V – Mother of the main character: Mada gets kidnapped and becomes the subject of his quest.

Matriarch Benezia, Mass Effect – Mother of Liara T'Soni: Benezia is enslaved and later killed by Shepard in battle, but she makes up with Liara right before dying.

Polka's Mom, Eternal Sonata — Mother of Polka: this country lady is very well adjusted to time loops and apparently never taught her daughter not to talk to strange 19th Century composers she might meet while wandering around at night.

Yohn, Suikoden Tactics — Mother of Kyril: Yohn is a mute demon trapped in the wrong world who sticks around to care for her son, even though he doesn't know who she is for pretty much the whole game.

Gina , Chrono Trigger — Mother of Chrono: In one of the game's endings, Gina accidentally goes into the time portal, thus restarting the whole plot from the beginning.

Jenova, Final Fantasy VII — Mother of Sephiroth (sorta): Jenova is... an alien? We're not even sure she's a she, but "she" spends a lot of time in a jar and looks creepy.

Angeal's Mother, Crisis Core — Mother of Angeal: This small-town lady is very nice to all of her son's friends from the army, even the ones that turn evil and cause her matricide.

Queen Brahne, Final Fantasy IX — Mother of the real Princess Garnet and foster mother to her lookalike of the same name: Brahne gets fat, turns evil, tries to kill her adoptive daughter and later repents and dies in Garnet's arms.

Sarah Sisulart, Lost Odyssey – Mother of Liram: Sarah goes a little crazy and turns herself into an old woman when she thinks her daughter's been killed, but turns back into a hot nerdy chick when she finds out she has grandkids.

Seth Balmore, Lost Odyssey – Mother of Sed: Seth is immortal, but her son isn't, which is sort of weird for both of them. But they're both pirates, so there's some common ground at least.

Best Mom: Yohn… because she's selfless as only a mother can be.

Worst Mom: Jenova… because she's emotionally unavailable. And responsible for Sephiroth.

Mothers in… Fighting Games
Fighting games have a fair few mothers among their playable characters. The plot structure (or lack thereof) leaves room for all kinds of people to enter whatever world championship fighting tournament of the week is going on for various reasons that don't necessarily make any sense. So if you can have a panda, a geisha, a cyborg and whatever the hell Voldo is supposed to be enter a tournament for personal gain, a mother doesn't seem like such a weird contender. Here's a list of a few prominent mommies:

Sophitia, Soulcalibur series – Mother of Patroklos and Pyrrha: Sophitia is an Athenian who fights on behalf of the Greek God, Hephaestus, to regain Soul Edge. The sword entwines itself with her daughter's spirit, forcing Sophitia to spend eternity defending Soul Edge from anyone who tries to claim it. She's protecting her daughter.

Michelle Chang, Tekken series – Mother of Julia: Michelle fights in one of the Iron Fist tournaments to rescue her kidnapped mother and then adopts an abandoned baby named Julia. Then Julia goes on to fight in an Iron Fist tournament to save Michelle when Michelle gets kidnapped. Circle of life.

Dural, Virtua Fighter – Mother of Kage: Dural probably started out as a good mom when she was human, but then she got kidnapped and turned into an evil cyborg. That knocks her out of the Mom of the Year running.

Jun Kazama, Tekken series – Mother of Jin Kazama: Jun is the Chosen One, a wildlife activist, and a single mom. Over the course of four games, she somehow found time to save pandas, birth a son, thrash a bunch of her extended family and possibly fake her own death or perhaps dies for real when her house burned down.

Nina Williams, Tekken series – Mother of Steve Fox via in-vitro fertilization: Nina is a world class assassin who gives birth to a son while in cryogenic sleep. Though it appears she couldn't care less that she has offspring, she does neglect to assassinate him. That counts as maternal instinct, right?

Maria, Dead or Alive series – Mother of Helena: Maria is a world class opera singer who had an affair with the head of a sinister corporation. She later took a bullet for her bastard daughter onstage in the middle of an aria… what a way to go.

Crimson Viper, Street Fighter IV – Mother of Lauren: C. Viper is a working mother in the spy profession. Her life's goal is destroying the weapons produced by a sinister corporation, but somehow she made room in her busy schedule to have a daughter.

Justice, Guilty Gear – Mother of Dizzy: No one's really sure how it happened – least of all Dizzy, who was found abandoned at age 3.

Best Mom: Maria… because nothing says "Mommy loves you" like taking a sniper's bullet to the heart.

Worst Mom: Crimson Viper… because she's a workaholic. Did she even call her kid after fights? No!**

Mothers in… Action/Adventure and Survival Horror Games
Here's where the role of the mother in video games become complicated. Because these types of games usually have a more focused plot than fighting or role playing games, adding a mother usually means casting her in a narrow role that doesn't include speaking parts. Occasionally, these moms even wind up as antagonists by default. However small their part, though, these mothers sometimes make an appearance worth mentioning. Here are a few notable examples:

The Queen, Ico – Mother of Yorda: She basically had a daughter so she could sacrifice the kid and live a bit longer. I guess some species do eat their own young, but jeez…

Annette Birkin, Resident Evil 2 – Mother of Sherry Birkin: Depending on how you play the game, Annette either hid the G-Virus in her daughter's locket or cures her daughter of the T-Virus. Either way, she did abandon her kid during a zombie apocalypse. Poor form, Mom.

Amelia Croft, Tomb Raider series – Mother of Lara Croft: Like her daughter, Mrs. Croft has issues with touching ancient artifacts she probably shouldn't. Luckily, Lara learns from her mommy's mistakes and everybody's happy… until Lara has to shoot zombie Amelia when they meet up in Underworld.

Mrs. Sanderson, Chibi Robo – Mother of Jenny: Mrs. Sanderson has real marital problems that cause her to lock herself in a bathroom and threaten divorce, leaving all the housework to Jenny and her toy robot.

Ex-Mrs. Hopkins, Bully – Mother of Jimmy Hopkins: This woman lacks both fashion sense and parental priorities. She ditches her kid at a boarding school to run off on a honeymoon with a new husband and then sends Jimmy a fugly sweater at Christmas.

Maggie Monday, Stubbs the Zombie in Rebel Without a Pulse – Mother of Andrew Monday: Like Jimmy Hopkins' mom, Maggie could use some priority adjustment. She lets her son's city get sacked by zombies and then becomes a zombie herself so she can marry Stubbs. This basically leaves Andrew with a wrecked city and a zombie for a stepfather. Thanks, Mom!

Ma Cipriani, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories – Mother of Toni: Toni never called his Ma while he was in hiding. Given that she dates guys who are into paraphilic infantilism, I can see why. Ma puts a hit out on her son and then calls it off in a fit of maternal pride when Tony finally becomes a made man.

Best Mom: Amelia Croft… because not even good moms get it right all of the time and how was she supposed to know that sword would teleport her, her husband would die and her daughter would be left an orphan?

Worst Mom: The Queen… because what she did to Yorda is way worse than what Joan Crawford did to her daughter. You think being hit with wire hangers is bad? Try being turned to stone.

Mothers in… Shooters
Here's where you barely see any moms at all. The shooter genre is reserved for masculine things like guns and aliens and spies and other stuff that doesn't leave much room for maternal influences. You'll find a lot of dads in shooters, though – but Father's Day isn't for another month, so sit tight.

*SPOILER WARNING: BioShock, F.E.A.R. 2, Metal Gear Solid 4*

Jasmine Jolene, BioShock – Mother of Jack: Jasmine was Andrew Ryan's mistress and a "dancer" which is 60s code for "prostitute." Even if she didn't accept money for sexual favors, she was certainly in a hurry to accept money for her freshly-conceived embryo. That's worse than the fairy tales where parents trade firstborn sons for magical enchantments.

Dr. Bridgette Tenenbaum, BioShock and BioShock 2 – Mother of all the Little Sisters and the Big Sister: Tenenbaum didn't give birth to any of the poor darlings, but her research created them. She eventually stepped in to foster them and shower them with toys and secondhand cigarette smoke to make up for the brainwashing.

Eva, Metal Gear Solid 4 – Mother of Liquid and Solid Snake (kinda): Eva would have gladly had Naked Snake's babies the ol' fashioned way, but the Patriots had other plans. She eventually serves as surrogate mother to the clone babies Liquid and Solid and starts calling herself Big Mamma to compensate for having nothing to do with mothering them.

The Boss, Metal Gear Solid 3 – Mother of Revolver Ocelot and the US Special Forces (which one do you think she's more proud of?): The Boss probably had no business leading the Battle of Normandy while nine months pregnant. But despite being a bad mom to Ocelot, The Boss wins major motherhood recognition as a Mother Goddess figure to at least half the cast of the Metal Gear Solid series.

Alma Wade, F.E.A.R. and F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin – Mother of Paxton Fettel, Point Man and countless telepathic clone soldiers: Alma became a mother at the tender age of 15 against her will. It's hard to tell if she harbors any feeling for her offspring conceived in captivity – bloodlust sort of obscures any tender intent. However, in Project Origin, Alma's grown up a bit and appears to have invested in being mother to the protagonist's baby, which she deliberately conceives.

Best Mom: The Boss… because out of this sorry lot, she's easily the best role model.

Worst Mom: Jasmine… because she sold her only son to his father's enemy before the son was even born. That's like the opposite of mother-like behavior.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions
Sora's Mom, Kingdom Hearts — She has one line and the whole first part of the game is about her son trying to build a raft to run away from home. Clearly the parenting thing isn't working out.
Mother Brain, Metroid — "She," if that's what that thing in the jar can be called, is an alien with no maternal feelings whatsoever.
You, Fable II, The Sims games and Harvest Moon games — Even if you play as an upstanding paragon of parental vigilance, you're going to be guilty of neglect at least half of the time in these games.

At this point, you're probably wondering why Cooking Mama isn't anywhere on this list. Apart from the lack of a convenient genre into which to cram the game, there's no evidence that Cooking Mama is even a mother. Do you see her kids at any point in the game? For all the player knows, she's just calling herself "Mama" so she doesn't have to call herself a chef, the poor self-hating hash slinger.

That's all we've got for the best and worst mothers in video games. Think we missed somebody important? Drop a line in the comments. And don't forget to call your mom on Mother's Day!

**CORRECTION: C. Viper occasionally does call her daughter after fights. But the workaholic ruling still stands.

26-year-old Thaís Jussim is the one responsible for the beautifully crafted Samus Aran space suit seen above, one the Brazilian Metroid Prime fan assembled over the course of six months. The beast of a bounty hunter suit is lit by 73 battery powered LEDs and set Jussim back $350 in material costs.

Jussim, who created the suit with the help of friends and family, says the suit weighs about 23 pounds and is surprisingly not very comfortable. Who would have guessed. Jussim also reveals that there's, uh... Zero Suit Samus cosplay in the works, by the way. It's her next project.

*ahem* Anyway, if you'd like to see more shots of the costume and learn more about the woman behind the visor, read on. (Oh, and sorry for the lateness on this one. You'd be amazed how little time I spend on cosplay web sites.)

Metroid [DeviantArt - thanks, Amy!]
The MDb Interviews Samus Aran! [Metroid Database - thanks, Ryan!]

Hear her hold forth on being considered a gaming babe, the vagaries and challenges of voice acting a good death ("I hate when I just hear random grunts, because it's ripping you guys off,") and how Samus Aran would handle a relationship with Solid Snake. ("She could kick his butt and keep him in line. She could surpass him, and let him catch up, she could make it work.")

Or, if just listening to Samus/Naomi giggle is up your alley (or other orifice), this will be edifying, too.

Metal Gear Solid's Jennifer Hale Interview [YouTube]

We want to believe females not capable of such acts. We do the same with serial killers as I'm seeing occurring with our females' foes, often painting them in mystic tones and making them less than human—no human could do this, erego inhuman. At the same time, the draw of a female protagonist is also to play the market in a heteronormative fashion: appeal to the male libido and assure females they can play as someone of their own sex. The female gaming market is growing, especially in the cases of The Sims, Harvest Moon, and other such titles. These are generally non-violent games (give a tool to anyone and they'll manage to play around its original intent), which grows the expectation we've been given in general society: females are not violent.

Which is a lie. Reading bell hooks's Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics, I was reminded of a fact we often overlook: just as many cases of domestic violence are perpetrated by women against their own children. These are often either ignored or not reported, so it becomes difficult to navigate that terrain, especially when children are not given the tools or rights to speak up on their own behalf; to believe females are generally pacifist and have little capability of violence or prefer such is very likely just a fallacy in which we like to believe. We just prefer the idea of a father who is abusive physically and a mother who may be more critical with her words—this makes sense to us.

Anyways, well worth a read — a really thoughtful piece on some gender issues that crop up in games, and issues that go far beyond gaming.

Gendered Violence [Vorpal Bunny Ranch]

It also sounds like it's about a billion calories per serving, with scads of fondant and 100 percent pure lard icing (I kid. It's buttercream, which is close enough). Its creator was contacted and she described its construction.

The cake was a mint chip cake hand carved from round cakes, stacked, and iced in buttercream and then covered in fondant. The metallic parts were made of belgian modelling chocolate and painted with silver highlighter dust. The entire cake was airbrushed to add color and dimension to the metallic parts as well. The cake was a surprise for the Groom, he and the bride are huge fans of the game.

Also, here is an image of a sugar-cookie mosaic of a (literal) Metroid that some of you spotted and sent along too.

Hey, it's Sunday, we can have sweets for breakfast, can't we?

Just When You Thought Cake Couldn't Get Any Better [Metroid Quarantine, thanks Cybershark]
Metroid Mosaic Cookie [neebit]