Andrea claims to be a Sega diehard going back to when she was nine years old, becoming obsessed with Sonic, Toejam & Earl and Rolo to the Rescue until she was 14 and, presumably, discovered boys. Says Andrea:

I didn't return to my game playing days until about 2 years ago, and now, I'm STILL obsessed with those old games. When I was little I would stay up way past my bedtime and if I died (in the game), I would be crushed. I'd be so mad that I'd beg to stay up and try again.

Andrea was chosen because, while the eight other entrants either brought a virtuoso Bayonetta look, or just the sexy-behind-librarian-glasses, Andrea, "married both elements to come out on top." Hell, I'd settle for marrying just one of them.

Doesn't look like there are any promotional duties involved here. But Andrea does take home an Xbox 360, a 50-inch plasma TV and, of course, a copy of Bayonetta.

Bayonetta Contest Winner Announced [Maxim via VG247]

The ankle-gun packing, library-glasses wearing, hair-manipulating witch is set to hit store shelves in her self-titled game in October in Japan and January her in the U.S.

But if you think you're a dead ringer for the witch, you need to submit your pictures by Sept. 30. The best looking of the lot will then be posted on Maxim.com for fans to vote on from Oct. 1 to Oct. 23.

The final winner will be selected by Maxim and game developer Platinum Games, awarding the lucky faux Bayonetta an Xbox 360, a 50 inch Panasonic TC-P50X1 HDTV Plasma TV and an Xbox 360 version of the game.

Just don't tell Sarah Palin or it will be no contest.

Bayonetta Contest [Maxim

Twelve-year-old Jake O'Donnell of Boston got an eyeful of side- and underbooby when Maxim showed up this past month, and mom Kathleen is - I gotta go with her on this - understandably a bit peeved.

Not that Maxim's out-and-out porn, but it's definitely for a readership a bit older - note I didn't say "more mature" - than a 12-year-old. It's not just the boiyoiyoinggg photos, either, stuff about drinking, bad hookups and stupid stunts with painful endings, seriously. That's not age appropriate.

Boston's WBZ-TV smelled the big stinker and filed an investigative report on it. Basically, the news is - while subscribers could opt out and get a refund for the remainder of their EGM subs, that notice was accompanied by the first replacement issue of Maxim, meaning there was no way for a mom to head off her junior high-schooler's encounter with his new subscription and a roll of Charmin. On top of that, although Mrs. O'Donnell wrote in to cancel the sub, the August 2009 copy - with Joanna Krupa vamping topless on the front - arrived right on time.

12-Year-Old Gets Maxim Mag, Mom not Happy [The Escapist via Joystiq]

While EGM folded as a print publication earlier this year, interest in the magazine and 12 to 24-month long subscriptions didn't. Rather than issue a refund, subscribers appear to be getting a replacement in Maxim. The 14-year-old men's mag does cover video games in addition to breasts, so readers won't be at a total loss. But given Maxim's preference of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand to Killzone 2, we're not sure how well-served in reviews they'll be.

I have yet to receive my replacement copy of Maxim, but reader Jordan has. His first replacement issue comes with a note that subscribers can instead opt for a pro-rated refund for the balance of their EGM subscription.

It's doubtful that balance can be transferred to the attempt at reviving Electronic Gaming Monthly by magazine founder Steve Harris. But, hey, boobs.

A crack team of qualified and highly intelligent researchers at Maxim put together their list, which features the likes of Zoey (Left 4 Dead), Celeste (Mirror's Edge), and Elika (Prince of Persia). But while this list isn't ranked per se, if I had to pick just one I would most certainly have to go with Jenny McCarthy from Red Alert 3. Not because she's real or that I've seen her naked, but because she's 36. Yes, 36! I'll even argue she looks better now (in a more mature way) than from her days on MTV's Singled Out.

Anyway, I feel there were a few omitted, like Shanoa (Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia), Kaoru Sayama (Yakuza 2), and any one of the girls from Persona 4.

Any others?

You can view the entire list after the jump.

(Note: These are in no particular order)

1. Naomi Hunter - Metal Gear Solid 4 (Konami)

2. Anya Stroud - Gears of War 2 (Epic Games)

3. Kendra Daniels - Dead Space (EA Games)

4. Catwoman - MK vs. DC Universe (Midway)

5. Zoey - Left 4 Dead (Valve)

6. Sophitia Alexandra - Soul Calibur IV (Namco Bandai)

7. Natasha Volkova (Gina Carano) & Special Agent Tanya Adams (Jenny McCarthy) - Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 (EA Games)

8. Trish - Devil May Cry 4 (Capcom)

9. Maria Sharapova - Top Spin 3 (2K Sports)

10. Detective Chase Linh (Played by Maggie Q) - Need for Speed Undercover (EA Games)

11. Celeste - Mirror´s Edge (EA Games)

12. Elle Holloway - Silent Hill Homecoming (Konami)

13. Lola del Rio - Grand Theft Auto IV (Rockstar Games)

14. Chun-Li - Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (Capcom)

15. Elika - Prince of Persia (Ubisoft)

16. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider Underworld (Eidos Interactive)

The Hottest Video Game Babes of 2008 (Maxim)

Mr. Sanchez has one of the most recognized and authoritative voices ever put to work in a video game, so when you hear him say, for instance, "Epic Fail", you truly feel like you failed on a rather epic scale. Conversely, when his deep voice rumbles your speakers with "Flawless....Ensemble", you can't help but feel like you've really made your outfit come together.

Maxim was kind enough to make an embeddable version of their Unlocked Mortal Kombat Phrases soundboard, which I have been kind enough to embed, after the jump. Enjoy!

Exclusive: Unlocked Mortal Kombat Phrase Soundboard [Maxim.com]

Maxim has video clips over at their website representing all seven of their choices, from "Elf shot the food" to the unforgettable "Headshot" from Unreal. The only real glaring omission I immediately notice is the announcer from the Bloody Roar series, who sounded like a Swedish guy imitating a Japanese guy imitating an American.

The 7 Greatest Faceless Announcers in Video Games [Maxim]

7 Video Game Currencies Stronger Than the U.S. Dollar [Maxim]

1. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
2. Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
3. The Orange Box
4. BioShock
5.God of War II
6. Super Mario Galaxy
7. The Darkness
8. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
9. John Woo's Stranglehold
10. Lost Planet: Extreme Condition

We'll be tabulating the LOLs, ROFLs, ROFLMAOs, WTFs and GTFOs as soon as possible and plan to provide nice pie charts.

Best of 2007: Video Games [Maxim]

Ed Note: my wife wanted to know what the hell this picture was doing in Photoshop. My explanation was—apparently— not good enough.

New Head of the Combined Entertainment and Lifestyle Business Unit

I am pleased to announce Stephen Colvin as EVP of our new Entertainment & Lifestyle business. A 20-year media veteran, Stephen joins us from Dennis Publishing, where he built Maxim, Blender, Stuff and The Week magazines. He has a track record as a dynamic leader and brand builder. Steph en will be based in our NYC office which allows us to expand our presence in a city that is the hub of the media world. Stephen will be spending a lot of time in San Francisco.

The merger of CHOW and Urban Baby into the Entertainment & Lifestyle business unit simplifies our business, and allows us to leverage infrastructure, tools and best practices across this larger group. Over the next few days and weeks there will be individual and team meetings within Entertainment and Lifestyle to discuss the transition process.

Stephen will be in San Francisco next week, and he is looking forward to meeting the team.

CNET Sells Webshots For $45 Million; Other News [via gamesetwatch]

95. Second Life Girl
Second Life—a 3-D virtual world that's imagined, created, and owned by its online residents—was launched in 2003 and now boasts nearly five million inhabitants around the globe. Never taken part in the nerdfest? Isn't she reason enough?

Their choice of the large-lipped platinum blonde as their example speaks volumes. Second Life women are as varied as real life women, and then some. They can be bookish, perky, intelligent, witty, male, and even..furry. *runs for the hills* Michael Fahey

Second Life Girl of 2007 [Maxim.com via artistpavel.com]

Photo courtesy Maxim Online

Arcade game Big Buck Hunter Pro makes its way into America's favorite jubblie-glossy Maxim Magazine this month. Turn to page 34, and the cabinet's in the "Good" section of "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" column. Those plastic shotguns? Ugly. The plaid school girl kilts? Bad, so bad. Brian Ashcraft

Maxim's Buck Hunting [Barcade via Arcade Heaven]

Last week, Eliza verbally body slammed Playboy's editor over their upcoming feature about hot, naked girls in gaming... girls no one had ever heard of. Playboy claimed that "if you feel these women are not prominent enough in their games, that's an issue for the developers who should be creating more strong roles for women." Eliza's response — in which she rattled off dozens of names of well-known female game characters who re-affirmed positive gender ideals — can only be described as a Mortal Kombat style fatality. Scott's offal-coated pelvis hangs above Eliza's mantle, connected to the spine she deftly ripped out of his back.

We thought the battle for prominent, progressive female role models in games had been won. But then, today, we catch word that maxim has hired a bunch of models to dress up as Tekken models, then stand under cold flowing water and do karate kicks in miniskirts and brightly colored panties.

Did you hear that? That was the audible pop of Eliza's head flying apart in a puff of metallic blue hair and overly developed gray matter as the expanding kettle of her gamer feminism reached a boiling point, then exploded.

Tekken girls get real... and naked [PSP Fanboy]

It's not just that Maxim decided to wade through the endless stream of gaming toilets and pick the twelve best based on realism and cleanliness, it's the way they did it.

The list, which runs from Prey to Duke Nukem 3D, is worthy of not a few chuckles.

My favorite is probably this one for Counter-Strike:

Despite his doctor's recommendations, Chester refused to cut back on his diet of Raisinets, beef jerky, and Jägermeister.

It's funny because it's true. Brian Crecente

Dozen Best Gaming Toilets [Maxim]

Gawd. Here's another example of pervy journos putting pervy words into people's mouths, bad translating and off-the-wall questions. This one's from Maxim (big surprise).

MAXIM: "Don't you want to make an ol'-fashioned R-rated game?"

MIYAMOTO: "I would say the games we're working on now, like the new Zelda, Twilight Princess, has hardcore content. And if you look at the Revolution's controllers, there's a nunchaku-style controller expansion that's really well suited to first-person shooters."

So now there are horny tweleve year-olds all excited about bizarro Zelda nunchaku sex. Thanks, Maxim.

Full Story Here [Hyrule.net]