The Worst, Most NSFW PlayStation Ad Ever

We're not sure who advertising agency TBWA is appealing to here with this PlayStation 3 ad. Sure, the abs are washboard-like and the pecs appear to be rippling, but the tiny phallus safely hidden behind a Kotaku NSFW Fish isn't going to go over well with anybody but the most specific of fetishists—say men who dream of fucking a DualShock. Maybe there's some cross-cultural misunderstanding here—I'll admit to not being brushed up on my Austrian marketing—but if I were to wake up with a wee penis-digit, I'd be concerned less with draping my shirt over my perfect physique and buying PlayStation 3 games than I would be with sticking my head in the oven.

The full ad, hosted at the link below (alternately viewable in big, uncensored size right here) is definitely not safe for work unless your employer is cool with you checking out expertly groomed pubic hair and Photoshopped schlongs. You've been warned!

Sony PlayStation 3: Thumb [Ads of the World via Gawker]

Sony, MS Provide Fresh Spin On GTA IV Sales

First week sales figures provided by Microsoft, courtesy of unnamed retailers, put sales of Grand Theft Auto IV at 60% for the Xbox 360 version, 40% for the PlayStation 3 version. A win, undoubtedly, for Microsoft. N'Gai Croal of Level Up got his hands on some GameStop-only sales data, which puts the percentage more accurately at 64% on the Microsoft side, 36% on the Sony side.

Argh! Not accurate enough, for our tastes! Fortunately, we'll be able to more obsessively split hairs on the matter later this week, when NPD data is revealed, but for now we have some expertly sculpted spin to enjoy!

Zhengtu Tearing Up the Chinese Market

Walmart.com using Wii Fit to boost Mom's Day sales

Wii Fit isn't just a casual game, now it's the "perfect gift" for Mother's Day if you believe Walmart.

Reuters reports that this weekend the fitness-meets-game Wii title will dominate the Walmart.com homepage and include a link to pre-order the game in time for it's May 19 launch. People who pre-order by May 11 will get a $10 online gift card for use on the site down the line.

"Initial response is extremely strong, and we're feeling really good about Nintendo Wii Fit dominating the home page," said Kelly Thompson, Walmart.com's chief merchant, of early shopper demand for the game. "... We really like the angle of marketing it to Mom."

Nintendo of America marketing maven Cammie Dunaway goes on to say that the upcoming game will be marketed not just to women, but to men as well.

Walmart.com using Wii Fit to boost Mom's Day sales [Reuters]

Pssst. Hey, buddy. Grand Theft Auto IV is out tomorrow. It's actually already out for gamers who live in The Future, but don't tell anyone. Because, apparently, Rockstar Games is trying to keep things quiet on the GTA IV front. That's according to an AP report, the one with a photograph of the 10-story tall promo posters plastered on a hotel in downtown Los Angeles. All those billboards and posters you're seeing around town and tacked on to buses and such? On the down low.

Oh we're just teasing, AP. We realize there's a difference between marketing to gamers who identify with things like Mountain Dew and Burger King cross promotion and those who have the hots for GTA. We just think it's amusing that Rockstar's marketing, a slow drip of hype served via carefully edited and timed trailers, as well as "viral" tricks like "Wanted" posters could ever be considered "keeping quiet"—because the silence is deafening.

'Grand Theft Auto' Promo Campaign Kept Quiet [FOX News]

First Look At The Wii Fit Ad Blitz

The Wii Fit marketing bonanza has yet to begin proper in North America, but today we finally get a look at how Nintendo will be pitching the game in print ads, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal. Using the tag line "How will it move you?" expect to see Nintendo's attempts to appeal to women and moms—Nintendo's sales and marketing SVP Cammie Dunaway's words—show up only after the fitness game has been released.

We just hope no one is confused by the product imagery, mistaking the Wii Fit balance board for a prosthetic limb attachment on which you're supposed to balance your disembodied leg. Marketing isn't easy, folks!

Nintendo Hopes Its 'Wii Fit' Works Out [Wall Street Journal]

Atari Innovates Crossword Game Marketing

Now we're staring to get a clearer picture of why Phil Harrison called Atari the best opportunity back in early March. This Friday the company is holding an event at Victoria Station in London to celebrate the release of their latest DS title, The Sun Crossword Challenge. The event will feature the crossword talents of two women famous for not being dressed, Page 3 girls Sam Cooke and Vikki Blows, which might not be her real name. What was that again Phil?

The Atari opportunity is the best opportunity that exists in the industry today to redefine, re-focus and re-energize an incredible brand, an incredible group of people towards that networked future. Um, and to do it in a fun way.

Marketing Halo 3 - Finding Master Chief's Humanity

At the MI6 marketing conference earlier this week, various Microsoft staffers presented a talk outlining how they successfully marketed Halo 3 to the masses. They explained how their main goal in expanding the audience for the third installment of Bungie's saga was to put a more human face on Master Chief.

"The marketing statement was really based around Master Chief. We did some research, and found out that people thought of Master Chief the same way they think of Robocop and the Terminator, a killing machine... we had to humanize him to reach a broader audience."

Analysis: Microsoft On The Secrets Of Marketing Halo 3 [Gamasutra]

Sony today revealed that they have granted licensing agreements for some of their top games with four apparel companies. The result will be a slew of t-shirts, hats, boxers, even something called "loungewear" featuring the artistic stylings from such Playstation greats as God of War, Ratchet & Clank, Resistance Fall of Man, Heavenly Sword and Little Big Planet.

I can't friggin wait to lay about in my house wearing nothing more than a pair of LittleBigPlanet whitey-tighties under my silk God of War smoking jacket while I sip cognac and pass judgment on the gaming world.

IV Gear already has their list of games up, but no product pics yet.

So excited. List of companies and silly quotes on the jump.

'Hardcore Review of Softcore Games'

How Microsoft Created The Biggest Game Launch Of All Time

How did Microsoft pull it off? They were a boring, monolithic software company helmed by Bill Gates, the world's biggest geek. They made Windows. They made spreadsheet software and word processing programs.

They were a boring part of our lives we were forced to accept as a boring part of our technological infrastructure, only a few pixels away from concrete or plumbing. Then, of all things, Microsoft turned its hat backwards and tried to sit at the cool table. They released the Xbox.

And they lost $4 billion.

But all was not a wash. While some would say Xbox (original) lost money, others realized that Microsoft really just invested the funds. And from this investment, they'd gained a non-Winblows identity in the marketplace, along with a powerful icon that was nearly as synonymous to the Xbox console as Mario was to Nintendo or Sonic to Sega: Master Chief.

Grand Theft Auto IV Wanted Posters Popping Up In Brooklyn

Rockstar Games has begun the "viral" portion of its Grand Theft Auto IV marketing campaign, posting convincing wanted posters on Brooklyn-area telephone poles featuring Niko Bellic, the game's protagonist. The poster warns that Bellic is "wanted for questioning in connection with a shooting at a nightclub in the Hove Beach area of Broker" explaining that the perpetrator is of eastern European descent "which narrows it down to about 95% of the Hove Beach community." The poster jokes "Even we can't arrest that many foreigners" and suggests that Bellic be shot on sight.

The GTA IV poster also features an e-mail address and web site for the Liberty City Police Department. While the site isn't currently up, the e-mail auto responder is. The response is after the jump.

Germans Make Pun Of PS3 For Wii Ghost Squad Ad

How do you know when you've made it? When the Germans, famous for their rapier wit and brooding lifestyle photography send you up in a magazine ad for Sega's Wii shooter Ghost Squad. Obviously, Ghost Squad doesn't take itself too seriously, but who knew the boys and girls in the marketing department were so quick with the PlayStation 3 puns? They don't stop there, apparently, as it seems no game franchise is spared the hilarious Sega of Germany treatment. You guys! I'm going to start wagging my finger in mock disapproval if you don't stop!

Please, no Wii Date Rape jokes in the comments. It's beneath you.

Ghost Squad: neue Printanzeige [WiiGamer via UK:R]

Slimlining as Corporate Phenomenon

Nintendo To Woo Monster Truck Fans With Donkey Kong

If you're a fan of mud-spurting, flame-spitting funny cars, the kind of a truck enthusiast whose ears don't perk up unless their of the "monster" variety, you may want to keep tabs on the Monster Jam truck schedule. Oh, if you like Donkey Kong, you might want to pay attention extra hard. Nintendo let us know today that the Donkey Kong Monster Jam truck will make its first public appearance this weekend, at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It will race against other trucks that are considered monstrous and could very well run over some things.

According to a press release we were handed, Nintendo VP George Harrison said "Donkey Kong has always been a force to be reckoned with. The new Donkey Kong truck lets us show off his rowdy behavior to his fans, whether they have been playing his games for decades or just discovered them." Somehow, I just can't picture him saying this. It seems forced.

Monster Jam Online

I normally think of three things when video game companies are hard pressed to flex their marketing muscles. First, we have breasts. They never fail to draw a crowd. Second, slapping some logos and character art on an automobile. Third, alternate reality game. When these three have been either vetoed as tasteless, stale or consuming of too much manpower, they default to their rare alt—shoes. Sneakerheads will cover the cost and at least one Kotaku editor will post about their existence, ensuring the program is a success.

To wit, the NBA Live 08 Gil II Zero, Gilbert Arenas' signature shoe in an EA Sports-appropriate colorway. That the cover star of this years hoops effort already has his own shoe design is simply serendipity. Looks like only one retailer is offering them, for around $130 US, so unless you consider these "straight fire", move along.

Adidas Team Signature Arenas EA Sports [ via HypeBeast]

Sony's PAIN, released just last week on the PlayStation Network for the PlayStation 3, lets players inflict suffering on horribly dressed ragdolls for points. It also treats them to plenty of billboard-style in-game advertising. Sony's taking a somewhat unique approach to how it charges advertisers, however, as the PAIN's advertising scale increases for those planting ad spots in the game if more players are playing the game online.

The stats that help advertisers make their decisions—and scale pay rates—will be handled by the Nielsen Games group, well known for their ratings tracking services. Ominously, Nielsen was quoted as saying, "Currently we can tell you who is playing their PlayStation 3 and other consoles, when they're playing them and what they're playing. We can't get inside the game, at least not yet." Time to check that PlayStation Network user agreement more closely...

PlayStation's Game Plan: Scale Ad Rates for Videos [AdWeek via Game|Life]

Domino's Delivers 12 Days Of Xbox