It's just not fair. Girls get to play with adorable animals in the Littlest Pet Shop, put together outfits in Nintendo's Style Savvy, and now they get to dance hip hop, jazz, ballet, and salsa with Dance Sensation!, while the boys are all busy playing Blood Death Kill Game number three-hundred and forty-five. Yes, gender specific games annoy me.

"Dance is an incredibly popular activity for young girls yet there is an absence of dance products available for this demographic," said Gui Karyo, Executive Vice President of Operations, Majesco Entertainment. "Dance Sensation! was specifically designed for this audience and its combination of dance styles lets female players perform and actually learn real dance moves as they play."

Male players, on the other hand, just couldn't handle it.

It's not that I really want to dance. My mother owned a dancing school for most of my life, and try as she might, she couldn't get more out of me than being the master of ceremonies for one of her recitals. I am mostly outraged on behalf of my brother Richard. His dance performed to the theme from "Fame" still brings a tear to my eye to this very day, and I'm sure he'll appreciate me bringing it up here.

Back to the game at hand, Dance Sensation! features more than 160 motion-captured dance moves and the ability to create your own dance routines and customize your dancer with various costumes and unlockable hairstyles. It's got licensed music, Wii Motion Plus support, and a special device that electrocutes the player if it detects a penis.

Okay, I might have made up that last one. Dance Sensation! is heading to the Wii in April of 2010.

If you guessed the Nintendo Wii, we aren't even going to give you credit, because it's pretty much a no brainer. Developed by Attractive Games LTD, Pizza Delivery Boy has the player delivering pizza to survive, unlocking faster vehicles and extra cash along the way through side missions like street racing and baking competitions. Players use the Wii remote as a combination all-in-one cooking utensil / driving wheel. It sounds a bit like Cooking Mama meets Paperboy, which translates quite nicely into the sexy fan fiction I've been writing.

Pizza Delivery Boy is slated for a winter 2010 release. Finally a game that pizza delivery personnel can sit around playing, bitching about the lack of realism.

We first heard about A Different Game Company's Ghostwire in late 2008, when the Swedish developer brought home the top prize in Nokia's Mobile Games Innovation Challenge. The developer announced the title for the DSi earlier this year, and we saw footage of it in action soon after.

The game uses the DSi camera to overlay ghostly images over real-world locations, with the secondary camera used as a rear-view mirror, in case ghosts show up behind you. The title has a tremendous amount of potential, which Majesco recognizes.

"Ghostwire: Link to the Paranormal integrates cutting-edge technology with a unique augmented reality aesthetic to create a truly exciting piece of software specifically designed for Nintendo DSi™," said Gui Karyo, Executive Vice President of Operations, Majesco Entertainment. "We are thrilled to have such an innovative product in our line-up and look forward to revealing details about the experience as we approach next year's launch."

Ghostwire: Link to the Paranormal is currently aimed at a late 2010 release.

I think it bears noting that I never played the original A Boy and His Blob for two reasons. First, the reader understands why I don't comment on how well the game adheres to the original - I have no frame of reference, so I cannot comment. Second, it speaks of the popularity of the NES title that, despite never having played the game, I still understand the premise and basic gameplay mechanics. A blob lands on Earth, seeking help in defeating the evil emperor who have taken over his planet. He meets a boy, and together they discover that feeding the blob different flavors of jelly beans grants it the ability to transforms into shapes that conveniently aid in the platforming adventure they embark upon to defeat the aforementioned evil emperor.

With a basic understanding of the game in hand, I ventured into the delightful world of this new A Boy and His Blob. What did I gain, aside from a killer craving for jelly beans?

Loved
Storybook Graphics: The sharp 2D graphics of A Boy and His Blob look as if they were lifted straight out of a children's storybook. The backgrounds are vibrant and colorful (if a bit repetitive at times), which serves as a sharp contrast to the simple style used to render the blob and your enemies. I found myself completely charmed by the game's style.

Here's Your Blob, Go!: If you want to delve into the story behind A Boy and his Blob, read through the game's manual. Once you start playing there are no words; no tutorials; no encyclopedia containing pertinent information. You figure out how to play the game on your own. In other titles this might have been a negative, but A Boy and His Blob plays intuitively enough that you don't need such distractions.

Choose Your Own Jelly Bean: Once you get into the thick of things, A Boy and his Blob affords you a certain amount of freedom in terms of how you progress. While I'm sure there are specific ways of overcoming obstacles that WayForward had in mind, judging from the predetermined set of transformations available to your blob in each level, but there are multiple ways of approaching certain problems that, if successful, leaving you feeling very pleased with yourself.

More To Love: A Boy and His Blob contains 40 levels of gameplay, which is more than enough to keep you blobbing all day long. Then every level contains three treasure chests to collect, which in turn unlock special challenge levels for you to play through. That's 80 levels worth of gameplay, plus the joy of obsessively searching for treasure chests. I'd say that's more than enough.

The Hug Button: The game has a button assigned to giving hugs. Every game should have a game assigned to giving hugs, not just A Boy and his Blob and Army of Two.

Hated
Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs: A Boy and His Blob pretty landscapes are rife with graffiti. Everywhere you go you'll find quaint wooden signs, defaced with symbols letting you know exactly what form your blob should take in order to progress. As you progress through the game they get fewer and farther between, but they still make an appearance now and then, taking away from the most enjoyable aspect of the game - trying to figure out how to progress using the tools given you. An option to turn them off entirely would have been quite welcome.

Pet Pathing: The most frustrating element of A Boy and His Blob for me was waiting for the blob to catch up, which happens quite a lot. In many instances the blob simply comes when you call. In others, it feels like you have to hit the call button over and over again, like an impatient person waiting for the elevator, while the blob slowly made his way back to your side.

Even though I had never played A Boy and His Blob before, I have to admit that I came into this review with some idea of what to expect. The original was such a unique experience, that the re-creation had a lot to live up to no matter who was playing. Now I'm not sure what those of you who played the original game experienced, but I found myself quite pleased with the re-creation as a whole. The sharp and colorful 2D graphics, soothing music, action puzzle-based gameplay, and minimalistic presentation all add up to a gaming experience that can only be described as delightful, and that's not a word that I use lightly. Hell, that's not a word that I use ever. Enjoy it while it lasts; I'm off to stock up on jelly beans.

A Boy and His Blob was developed by WayForward Technologies and published by Majesco for the Wii on October 13th. Retails for $39.99 USD. A copy of the game was given to us by the publisher for reviewing purposes. Completed the game proper and played through at least half of the bonus challenge levels.

Confused by our reviews? Read our review FAQ.

Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja is just one of the many excellent arcade titles Data East created back in the day. Titles like BurgerTime, Side Pocket, and Magical Drop are all the sort of arcade games that you forget about until someone mentions them, and then you're flooded with fond memories. Majesco hopes to help you recapture those memories with Data East Arcade Classics for Wii, a collection of fifteen of the best games Data East had to offer, with full multiplayer support so you can share them with friends and family. Other games in the compilation include Burnin' Rubber, Heavy Barrel, Caveman Ninja, Side Pocket, and BurgerTime sequel Peter Pepper's Ice Cream Factory. If those names don't get you excited, then you're probably much younger than I am.

Mind you we knew this was coming, and we knew it so well that I used nearly exactly the same headline as McWhertor did when reporting on the ESRB rating for the game early last month.

Data East Arcade Classics should hit the Wii early next year, priced to move at $19.99.

Sure the game is out in 12 days, but it's Majesco's title and they can set aside a whole month if they want to. Each week they'll be showing off new screens, trailers, and concept art for the game, kicking things off with some concept art showing off the title's lovely hand-drawn art style, along with the official box art. Stay tuned for more A Boy and His Blob as Blob Month continues.

Go Play Lumberjacks is, oddly enough, part of Majesco's new Go Play line of family-friendly titles. Of course, on the Nintendo Wii, family-friendly generally translates into mini-games, and Lumberjacks is no different. The game actually has quite a few nifty features, including Wii Balance Board support and the ability to unlock a whole host of secret characters, one of which is your Mii. I heard you all gasp with delight right there.

Unfortunately, too many of the mini-games amount to me standing in front of the television pantomiming masturbation, something I don't generally do unless I am watching CNN.

Have you been eyeing a budget title at your local game store but just aren't prepared to take the plunge sight unseen? Feel free to use the comments section to suggest more games you'd like us to play So You Don't Have To.

A Boy And His Blob, beloved NES platformer only some of us on the team have played, has inspired a Wii successor from the makers of the crushingly hard Contra 4. Oh yes, you will struggle in this one too, it seems. The guy from the company that's publishing the game did — and he's beat a version of the new game already!

What Is It?
A Boy And His Blob is a Wii spiritual successor to the the 1989 platformer of the same name. The new game is being made by WayForward and sports lovely hand-drawn graphics. The game is classified as a side-scrolling puzzle-platformer. It stars a duo that needs each other. The boy can't fight; he feeds jelly beans to the blob, which makes it transform into a ladder, a rocket ship, a hole in the ground, etc. Enemies are lurking and lots of pits full of spikes are one misstep away. The game has the boy and his blob adventuring through 40 main stages, initially set on Earth and then back on the blob's home planet where a despot has taken over. There are also 40 challenge stages.

What We Saw
I played one level that was definitely not from early in the game. I took a cue from a sign and turned blob into a rocketship. I had the boy ride him through a maze of earth and trees. But I fumbled and died. I watched a rep from the game's publisher breeze through some opening levels and become flummoxed by later ones. This game gets hard.

How Far Along Is It?
The game is set for a fall release, and while it's still being tweaked, I was told that it's now possible to play it through to the end. It's pretty far along.

What Needs Improvement?
The Difficulty: There's no reason that a cute game has to be easy. But when a person who has played the game a lot is struggling, that's a sign that the difficulty spikes are too jagged. I saw too many blind jumps and too many really tough leaps for any of us who still have a few strands of hair on their head to be willing to play this game through. As it is, this game could make me bald with frustration. We don't want that.

What Should Stay The Same?
The Look: The game is charming, lovely, and all the other adjectives you'd want to apply to a sweet storybook-looking adventure. Blob is adorable, even when he gets red out of anger. Even cuter is when boy hugs blob. It's probably how you looked when you were young and hugged your favorite pillow. That adorable.

The Transformations: The blob turns into some cool stuff. The old hole-in-the-floor trick — slipping a hole-shaped blob under an enemy so that it drops to a cave below — never gets old. Blob as ladder. Blob as parachute. Blob as coconut that acts like a bowling ball. I liked it all.

Checkpoints: You know, tough as this game is, at least it has lots of checkpoints. The Majesco man who had trouble in the later levels would always get a quick second, third, fourth, 10th try at these jumps, because the boy would always come back to life just inches from where he croaked.

Final Thoughts
I'm worried that this game's difficulty could ruin it for players who would otherwise find it delightful. It's nice enough to play a Wii original that looks this good and has this much personality. It'd be a pity if WayForward and Majesco can't tune down the difficulty some — even if the original was, I'm told, very hard — so that more of us can enjoy it.

Serious Sam HD is coming to Xbox Live Arcade and the PC this year, and you can have your own witty quip immortalized in the game. Between July 15th and July 30th, fans of the serious can use Twitter to send their suggestions for a witty catch phrase to @devolverdigital. The winning entry will have their line read by John J. Dick, the voice of Sam, and will also get a shout-out in the game's credits.

"I never get any thanks for the wonderfully poetic and emotionally layered lines I write for Sam 'Serious' Stone," said an overworked and underpaid writer at Croteam "So guess what? Let someone else take a crack at it and see how hard it is. These witty remarks don't write themselves you know."

The winner will be announced in early August to followers of http://www.twitter.com/devolverdigital. Feel free to share your ideas below, but I'd suggest submitting your entry first, as our comment system is filled with pirates.

Since official figures from such an obscure license might be wishful thinking, this sculpt by Appy is probably as close as we'll get to touching something from the game. Well, maybe not touching. Hugging.

Below, a bonus: his take on a Team Fortress 2 engineer (engineeress?)

[Reskiy @ Flickr, via GameSetWatch]

Scheduled for a late summer release, Serious Sam: The First Encounter HD is exactly what the name implies: the first entry in the tongue-in-cheek, over the top Serious Sam first-person shooter series, upgraded with full HD graphics that take advantage of the full power of the Xbox 360, along with four-player co-operative play over Xbox Live. The folks at Croteam are just as excited as the fans should be.

"We are really excited to update our hero and recreate Sam in stunning high definition for Xbox LIVE Arcade players," said Roman Ribaric, CEO of Croteam. "The fans have lobbied us hard to do this, so we are stoked about bringing Sam back as big, bold and bad as he ever was."

While the official press release didn't name a price, we've heard stirrings from Eurogamer citing 1200 Microsoft points, which seems pretty fair. Keep an eye out for Serious Sam: The First Encounter HD later this summer.

Here are the original graphics...

While games that allow players to turn the world on end are far from a dime a dozen, level-twisting is a gimmick that's been on the rise over the past few years, and now Majesco is taking a stab at it with Flip's Twisted World. Magician's apprentice Flip messes with the wrong magical artifact, getting sucked into an oddly cubed world. In order to escape, he'll have to turn the world, 90 degrees at a time, in order to find the find his way home and possibly stop the destruction of the universe.

At the very least, it's a new platforming IP with a relatively innovative gameplay mechanic, colorful characters, and the musical stylings of famed video game composer Tommy Tallarico. For more than that, check back with us during E3.

We were a bit taken aback by Activision's choice of names for their new mini-game compilation, but Mama isn't surprised. After all, she dated Science Papa back when she was Cooking Single Woman.

"So you want some dirt on "Science Papa" to splash on your site? I'll shovel it. We dated briefly (when he had much better hair). And now he clearly wants a piece of the best-selling pie by associating himself with an incredibly successful, and I'll emphasize, happily married, woman. Frankly, he never appreciated my cooking and I grew weary of his tedious "experiments." You want real mind-bending science, go figure out how to make Toulouse Cassoulet for your next dinner party of 20 and let me know how it goes, Papa.

I'm no expert, but I'd say it could very well be on. Let's just hope Science Papa isn't even better than Mama at dishing dirt.

Either Ms. Michaels was unhappy with the results of Wii owners living up to her 2009 ultimatum, or publisher Majesco is looking to profit further from slovenly Wii Balance Board owners. The first Jillian Michaels Wii game went on to move more than 600,000 units, so I'm simply guessing it's the latter.

Majesco CEO Jess Sutton says, via press release, that the DS version is being created in order to "keep up with today's on-the-go lifestyles." Hey, I have an "on-the-go" lifestyle! Maybe this is for me!

New to the 2010 ultimatum is are new workout modes, including the six-month long "Fitness Resolution" feature and "Exercise with Jillian," giving you one-on-one time with the titular trainer. Majesco also promises improved motion tracking, but does not promise Michaels-esque washboard abs.

Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum 2010 will have to compete with both Wii Fit and EA Sports Active for fitness dollars when the game is released this Fall.

Of course by domestically they mean in North America, with the company's number one franchise racking up more than four million sales between the five games in the series, which includes the recently released Gardening Mama. The company is also lowering the price for Cooking Mama World Kitchen for the Nintendo Wii to $29.99, which puts every game in the franchise under the $30 mark.

"We are thrilled to reach this significant milestone. Majesco's #1 franchise continues to resonate with gamers of all ages and genders," said Jesse Sutton, Chief Executive Officer, Majesco. "We will continue to explore ways to expand the Mama brand with innovative and compelling products that offer new entertainment experiences."

And it doesn't get much more innovative or compelling than Crafting Mama.

While we have no particular attachment to the decades old light gun shooter, already released on multiple formats by publisher Digital Leisure, the fact that Mad Dog McCree is getting a proper Wii port from a licensed Wii publisher is exciting. While still rumored, it could also mean Wii ports of Dragon's Lair and Space Ace, games currently relegated to Digital Leisure's DVD-ROM and Blu-ray Java formats.

Digital Leisure says its newer Blu-ray titles don't have the annoying pauses that have made previous iterations far less fun, but we'd like a straight up console version nonetheless.

While Mad Dog McCree requires twitch gameplay, as opposed to some laserdisc games' rote level memorization, we hope that it wouldn't be the last of the laserdisc-era arcade games to get the Wii treatment. Any old, animated arcade classics you'd like to see?

Mad Dog McCree [Gamefly via Siliconera]

Cooking Mama Limited Corp. filed for the trademark with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office last week, securing rights to use the mark with all manner of video game related things. That includes software, joysticks, screen cleaning cloths being accessories for hand-held games with liquid crystal displays, you name it.

Obviously, Taito and Majesco are pretty happy with sales of Cooking Mama in its various incarnations. That's why we have Gardening Mama. Don't expect interested parties to stop there... but don't give them any ideas.

Crafting Mama [USPTO]

According to the game's developer 3G Studios, "I'm sure we'll be co-announcing a full-blown sequel in the future. For now we're working with Jillian's team to increase the target audience for her video game franchise. There will be more information available at some point in the near future."

These games are the equivalent of 1980s-era exercise videos.

Fitness Ultimatum Tops 500,000 Sold [Gamer Daily News via Balance Board Blog]

Yes, the handling of meat and icing the cake of the Majesco's Cooking Mama series gives way to an all new set of sexual euphemisms come March 31st, when Gardening Mama ships to retail outlets across the country. Mama praises your ability to cultivate fruits and vegetables and encourages you when your cucumbers aren't quite as impressive as they should be, in a new bunch of mini-games that should prove highly entertaining to people of all levels of dirty-mindedness.

Just be careful how you handle the melons. They bruise easily.

Majesco? Yes, Majesco. You know, the game publisher who brought you Cooking Mama, Cake Mania and some fitness game with Jillian Michaels (pictured). For the quarter ending January 31, 2009, Majesco's net revenues jumped up 75.8 percent and net income increased 54 percent.

"Our success was driven by strong demand across our product line, specifically for our Cooking Mama titles and the newly released Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum 2009, which has become a hit with approximately 500,000 copies sold to date," said company CEO Jesse Sutton. "We are well positioned to capitalize on the increasing demand for family friendly mass market games, the fastest growing segment of the industry, which in part is being driven by the success of Nintendo's platforms."

Later this year, Majesco will publish Gardening Mama and Major Minor's Majestic March. Oh, it will also make money.