Kotaku: Lists

The No-Shows of E3

Owen Good — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:00:00 MDT

British Gaming Blog takes a look at the highly anticipated games that weren't demoed at E3, and the titles would form an impressive show unto themselves. If only. All Points Bulletin. Tekken 6. Indiana Jones and, I mean really Ubisoft, no Beyond Good and Evil 2? Quoth BGB:

UbiDays 2008, Ubisoft announce Beyond Good and Evil 2 with an enigmatic, minimalist trailer. The fans go wild. E3 2008, Ubisoft announce Party Babies for Wii. Girls aged 5-12 go wild.

Agreed. Probably the biggest no-show of the whole conference, the Bungie/Halo game fiasco notwithstanding.

Missing in Action: The No-Shows of E3 [British Gaming Blog]

The Five Most Embarrassing Moments of Nintendo's Presser

Owen Good — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:00:00 MDT

OK, and after this, I promise no more bashing on Nintendo's press conference. But I used to work in internal PR for a very large software company (that may or may not have produced products that rhyme with Shmorton Shminternet Shmecurity) and we'd go to RSA, host our own user conference, all that stuff. What I mean to say is that I've seen some eye-rolling moments in keynotes, when top executives try to get hip. But I've never seen anything close to this.

The -Minus World sums it all up with the five most embarrassing moments. Yes, No. 1 is DJ Ravi flailing away like a toddler batting at a mobile. But the other four are alternately hilarious/pathetic too, and I think any one of them, by themselves, would have made it a trainwreck.

Anyway, enjoy. See you back here tomorrow.

The 5 Most Embarrassing Moments of Nintendo's E3 Conference [The -Minus World, and pic]

Your E3 Lineup Roundup

Owen Good — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 19:00:00 MDT

The coming week will be completely dominated by E3 coverage. Come to think of it, the previous week was completely dominated by pre-E3 coverage. After the jump we've compiled a scene-setter of sorts, aggregating together all the lineups announced, so you know some of what to look for in the coming onslaught of copy.

Kotaku's crack staff on the scene will be Brian Crecente, Michael McWhertor, Brian Ashcraft, Mike Fahey, Leigh Alexander, and Adam Barenblat. They're going to be very busy.

Console Roundups:
Sony
Microsoft
Nintendo

Developer/Publisher Lineups

2K Games
• BioShock
• Borderlands
• NBA 2K9
• NHL 2K9
• Sid Meier's Civilization IV: Colonization

Capcom:
• Street Fighter IV
• Resident Evil 5
• Dark Void
• Bionic Commando
• Mega Man 9
• MotoGP '08
• Neopets Puzzle Adventure
• Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix
• Bionic Commando Rearmed
• Flock (XBLA, PSN)
• New games from Capcom Interactive

D3Publisher
• Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers
• NARUTO: Clash of Ninja Revolution 2
• Puzzle Quest: Galactrix
• BEN 10: ALIEN FORCE The Game
• NARUTO: Path of the Ninja 2
• Bangai-O Spirits
• Shaun the Sheep

Electronic Arts
• Dead Space
• FaceBreaker
• Hasbro Family Game Night
• Littlest Pet Shop
• Madden NFL 09
• Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
• Mirror’s Edge
• iPhone/iPod Touch Games from EA Mobile
• The Sims 2 Apartment Pets
• Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 09 for the PSP
• Zubo
• MySims (PC)
• MySims Kingdom (Wii, DS)
• Spore
• Tiger Woods PGA TOUR 09
• Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning
• Command & Conquer Red Alert 3
• Crysis Warhead
• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
• The Lord of the Rings: Conquest
• SimCity Creator (Wii)
• NBA Live 09
• NCAA® Football 09
• Skate It
• Rock Band™ 2
• Left 4 Dead

Majesco
• Major Minor's Majestic March
• Cooking Mama World Kitchen
• Our House
• Zoo Hospital
• AWAY Shuffle Dungeon
• Wonder World Amusement Park
• Babysitting Mania
• Marker Man Adventures

Marvelous and XSEED
• Avalon Code (DS)
• Rune Factory: Frontier (Wii)
• Little King's Story (Wii)
• Valhalla Knights 2 (PSP)
• Populous (DS)
• KORG DS-10 (DS)
• Retro Game Challenge

Midway
• Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
• Wheelman
• TNA iMPACT!
• Blitz the League II
• This is Vegas
• Unreal Tournament 3
• Game Party 2
• Touchmaster 2
• Mechanic Master
• MidwayArcade.com

Southpeak
• Big Bang Mini
• Brave: A Warriors Tale
• Brave: Shaman’s Challenge
• Igor The Game (Windows PC, Wii & Nintendo DS – September 2008)
• Monster Madness: Grave Danger
• Ninjatown
• Raven Squad
• X-Blades

Square Enix
• The Last Remnant
• Song Summoner: The Unsung Heroes
• Chrono Trigger
• Dragon Quest: Chapters of the Chosen
• Final Fantasy IV (DS)
• Star Ocean: First Departure
• Star Ocean: Second Evolution
• Infinite Undiscovery
• Star Ocean: The Last Hope
• Exit DS
• The Legend of Kage 2

Tecmo:
• Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff (DS)
• Robocalypse (DS)
• Spray (Wii)

The Week in Games: You Can Actually Play These

Owen Good — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 17:00:00 MDT

This week won't be just about new games announced for release more than a quarter down the road. We've actually got a pretty sizeable list of drops, highlighted (for me, anyway) by NCAA Football 09, which comes out on Tuesday. This title was the reason I bought my first console since — actually since getting a Colecovision off of usenet in college. I played it on my buddy David's Gamecube in 2003, and I decided right then and there I had to have an Xbox. Oh lawdy, that was bad of me. But seriously. My crazy Vegas lawyer friend Davor had a PS2 and we'd bet on computer-vs-computer simulations, too. With a spread. Good times.

Let us know what you're buying/renting in the comments:

Monday (July 14)
1701 A.D. Gold Edition (PC)
Yamaha Supercross (PC, PS2, Wii, DS)

Tuesday (July 15)
NCAA Football 09 (X360, PS3, Wii, PS2, PSP)
The Golden Horde (PC)
City Life 2008 Edition (PC)
Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm (PC) (JESUS, LIQUID DRAGON IS THIS THING EVER GOING TO DROP? WTF. THAT IS ALL.)
We Love Golf! (Wii)
B-Boy (PS2)
Code Lyoko: Quest for Infinity (PSP)
Rock Band Track Pack Vol 1 (Wii, PS2)
Space Chimps (360, PS2, WII, DS)
Hunting Unlimited 2009 (PC)
Nancy Drew: The Mystery of the Clue Bender Society (DS)
Mister Slime (DS)

Kotaku Originals: Make It a Blockbuster Week

Owen Good — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 08:00:00 MDT

Epic week for the KO-riginals, friends. And this is just the runup to E3. Only next week could make this week's avalanche of fresh reported copy pale in comparison. Lots of pre-E3 leaks and reportage dominated Originals, not to mention Leigh digging into the bitchslap handed Jack Thompson to tell us he faces a fat fine, and Bash's hee-larious translation smash of the faek Wii HD. It was a lively half fortnight of reporting in Kotakopolis, refresh yourself with these highlights (and more after the jump.)

Body Types: Why Ivy's Boobs Are Such A Big, Big Deal
Will Sony Inflict Massive Damage At E3 08?
Rare Denies X-Waggle Rumor, Chastises Kotaku Comments
Inside The 169-Page Thompson Report: Judge Recommends $43k Fine Also
Nintendo's E3 Lineup - Oh, So Quiet
Kotaku's E3 2008 Predictions
Leaked Screens Of Duke Nukem 3D XBLA
Rock Band 2 Features Drum Trainer, Wireless Instruments, Full Backwards Compatibility
This Wii Hard Drive Is So Damn Phony (And Funny)
GameStop's Leaked Xbox 360 Price Drop Info
2.41 Firmware Brings New PS3 Platinum Trophy
Hands-On The Force Unleashed Impressions

Xbox 360 Price Drop Already In Effect At Target Stores?
Motus: It's Up To The Console-Makers To Make Motion Control Announcements
The PC At E3 - The Keyboard And Mouse Brigade
Kotaku's Pre-E3 Party
Circuit City To Offer $30 Gift Card With Price Dropped 360
Activision Blizzard Merger Finalized
Riot Games Get a $7M Launch
Microsoft Denies Motion Control Revealed Via Banjo Kazooie Preview
The E3 2008 Kotaku Fantasy Betting Pool
Frankenreview: Sid Meier's Civilization Revolution
Thompson: Judge Recommends Permanent Disbarment
EA's Steve Schnur Explains The Hype Behind The Madden Soundtrack
What's Coming From Microsoft At E3?
How's Wii Skate It? We Skate It To Find Out
Game Club Beyond Good & Evil: Discussion One
Cyan Outlines "Hurdles" In Reclaiming Myst Online
The Five Finalists For Kotaku's New Comment Czar
E3: Dud or a Blast?

Rock Band 2 Features Drum Trainer, Wireless Instruments, Full Backwards Compatibility

Brian Crecente — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:00:00 MDT

In less than a week Electronic Arts will be showing off Rock Band 2 to the world's gaming press at this year's E3. To get your motor running a bit early, Harmonix dropped this fat fact sheet and these images on us.

First things first: If you already own Rock Band and you buy Rock Band 2 all of your songs will transfer over automatically and free o' charge.

Rock Band 2, which hits the Xbox 360 this September and the PS2, PS3 and Wii later this year, includes a number of new tweaks both to the software and hardware. Some highlights:

The new and improved drums and guitar peripherals will be compatible with the original Rock Band and original instruments will work with Rock Band 2. The new guitar will have a sturdier strum bar, quieter buttons and be wireless. The new drum kit will include a metal reinforced pedal, quieter pads, velocity sensors and... be wireless.

New Mini-Campaigns
Custom Set Lists
Online World Tour
Drum Trainer

That's right, Rock Band 2 will literally teach you how to play drums.

We weren't allowed to play with the new instruments when the game was showed off to press last month, but I did manage to grope the drum kit for a few seconds when no one was looking. The pedal looked like it would stand up to more abuse and the drums themselves had a thicker rubber like feel to them. I'm certain they would be much quieter. The guitar, well the guitar looks just kick ass.

Hit the jump for tons of details and a pic of the fancy new instrument.

Start A Band, Rock The World!

Developed by Harmonix, the world’s premier music videogame company, and published by MTV Games, Rock Band™ 2 is the next evolution of the groundbreaking music platform that forever changed the face of music videogames. Rock Band 2 builds upon the original, challenging players to put together a band and tour for fame and fortune while learning to master lead/bass guitar, drums and vocals, and raises the bar to include an entirely new level of depth, connectivity, authenticity and exhilarating features.

Rock Band 2 will feature more than 80 tracks on disc – but it doesn’t stop there. Players will have access to all DLC tracks, packs and albums released to date as well as future DLC releases; that’s more than 200 song choices and counting. The music inRock Band 2 features all master recordings and spans all genres of rock from punk, metal and alternative to classic and southern rock.

Rock Band 2 will be released on Xbox 360™ videogame and entertainment system from Microsoft this September and will have an exclusive launch window in North America. Rock Band 2 will be available for the PLAYSTATION® 3 and PlayStation® 2 computer entertainment systems and Nintendo Wii™ system later this year.

Key Features
Rock the World!
Rock Band 2 offers new and dynamic online modes that will connect the entire Rock Band community in more ways than ever before, both locally and globally.

Rock in Style!
Rock Band 2 introduces a new variety of instrument choices all with new and improved drum and guitar peripherals, enhanced functionality and innovative new designs. All Rock Band 2 instruments are fully compatible with the original Rock Band. Conversely, all Rock Band peripherals will be fully compatible with Rock Band 2.

Unrivaled Song Library!
Rock Band 2 features the biggest and most diverse soundtrack ever featuring some of rock’s most prolific acts, comprised entirely of master recordings.

Complete the Look!
Rock Band 2 delivers new clothing, accessories, tattoos, hairstyles, instruments and more to keep your unique rock avatar playing the full rock part.

Battle it Out!
Go head to head competing against other bands with Battle of the Bands contests that will be generated by Harmonix on a regular basis.

Stay on Top!
Stay the undisputed leader board champion with real time alerts updating you when another rocker or band has surpassed your score!

Take on Tour Challenges!
Play through mini-campaigns focused on a specific instrument, your favorite artist, your preferred genre, or a particular album.

Customizable Set Lists!
Create your own set lists in Quickplay mode to keep the music rolling and your band rocking!

Rock ‘n’ Roll Never Dies!
Rock Band 2 offers backwards compatibility with Rock Band downloadable content- all previously purchased tracks will immediately load into your Rock Band 2 play list!

Game Modes
Quickplay
Now easier than ever to get in and jam without hassle.
- New prefab characters
- Your customized characters can now play on any instrument
- Make your own set lists
- Organize song lists by a variety of categories (alphabetical, genre, era, etc.)

World Tour
Solo Tour and Band World Tour join forces to create the ultimate band touring experience!
- World Tour is now online
- No more band leaders! If you need to fire your guitarist but keep the band going, fire away!
- Switch up instruments throughout world tour
- All new collection of opportunity gigs, challenges, cities, venues, and hirable staff

Tour Challenges
Take your band on tour in a whole new way with specific music challenges.
- Focused mini-campaigns featuring the best songs by instrument, decade, genre or artist
- Automatically generated DLC challenges
- Album specific challenges

Battle of the Bands
Put your band to the ultimate test by competing against other bands, both on your friends list and around the world!
- Dynamic content with regular new contests designed by Harmonix
- Matches up your score against overall competition and friends’ bands - with REAL TIME feedback
- Get updates on new battles from your Band Profile, as well as notifications when your score has been topped!

Drum Trainer
A true teaching tool that gives players a step-by-step lesson through the basic beat and fill vocabulary any real world drummer would know.

Music
Major record labels and leading music publishers have signed on to provide unrivaled access to master recordings and legendary rock artists with hits from the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and 2000’s. The Rock Band 2 disc will feature more than 80 rock hits—all master recordings! Plus, Rock Band 2 owners will have access to the growing Rock Band DLC catalog of more than 200 tracks. Below are just some of the amazing tracks and artists you will get on disc with Rock Band 2.

2000s
Dream Theater “Panic Attack “
System of a Down “Chop Suey”
1990s
Foo Fighters “Everlong”
The Muffs “Kids in America”
Red Hot Chili Peppers “Give it Away”
1980s
Motörhead “Ace of Spades”
1970s
Cheap Trick “Hello There”
Elvis Costello “Pump it Up”
Journey “Anyway You Want It”
1960s
The Who “Pinball Wizard”

Key Players
• Developed by Harmonix – the world’s premier music videogame company– and published by MTV Games.
• Distributed and Co-Marketed by Electronic Arts, the world’s leading interactive entertainment software company.
• Master Recordings provided by EMI Music, Hollywood Records, Sony BMG Music Entertainment, Universal Music Group’s Universal Music Enterprises and Warner Music Group’s Rhino Entertainment.
• Rocked out even harder by YOU and millions of drummers, guitarists and vocalists around the world. Groupies not included!

Product Specifications
Publisher: MTV Games Developer: Harmonix Distributor: Electronic Arts
Category: Music/Rhythm Game
Ship Date: September 2008 (Xbox 360) 2008 (PS3, PS2 and Wii)

Fifteen Minutes on Wikipedia is Like a Semester at Yale, if Yale was a WoW Server

Owen Good — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:00:00 MDT

Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia Britannica have been locked in a kind of cage match battle for relevancy ever since legions of high schoolers found the former was an excellent tool for ~~half-assing term papers~~ ~~graduating on time~~ research. One thing, however, that hasn't changed is the length of an article still means something in the Britannica. On Wikipedia, not so much.

Wikipedia is still very much the domain for longwinded parsings of the esoteric, if not completely hallucinated bullshit, a lot of it depending on how motivated that subject's fanboy corps is. Who's gonna show up more, Q-Bert's fans, or President James Buchanan?

Games Radar has put together a list showing the truly distorted priorities of Wikipedia editors and writers, if length is a useful metric. And I think it is. Because according to their analysis, Knuckles from fucking Sonic the Hedgehog gets 7,832 words, and God — yes, that Guy — rates 3,726. There are 14 other hilarious comparisons (Call of Duty vs. World War II; Electronic Gaming Monthly vs Time, etc.) So get out there and start padding entries that really matter: Niko Bellic's (385 words).

The WTF World of Wikipedia [Games Radar]

The Week in Games: Diablo III is Not On This List

Owen Good — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 18:00:00 MDT

Thin week for The Week in Games. You can sense the pattern, big week of console releases, then thin week with mostly handheld drops. The pattern continues. Let us know if any of these get your gamer coin.

Monday (June 30)
1 vs 100 (DS)
The Immortals of Terra (PC)
Journey to the Center of the Earth (DS)
Roogoo (PC)

Tuesday (July 1)
Hail to the Chimp (PS3, 360)
AMF Bowling Pinbusters (DS)
Gears of War w/maps, GoW2 Preview (360)
Purr Pals (Wii)
Ducati Moto (DS)

Wednesday (July 2)
Dungeon Runners (PC)

Thursday (July 3)
Fading Shadows (PSP)

Scream From 1951 Echoes Into Today's Games

Owen Good — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 16:00:00 MDT

The Wilhelm Scream. Cinephiles recognize it instantly (you only need to hear it once in the above video). It's been reused so many times since it was first recorded in 1951 that its inclusion today is almost beyond cliche, easter egg, or inside joke, and has become a combination of the three. (It's been in every Star Wars and Indiana Jones title thanks to sound engineer Ben Burtt, who resurrected its use.)

But did you know that it's been featured in at least 48 video games? From Ant City to Timesplitters 2, Mr. Juandrful at Kezins has gleaned the full list. It's longer than Wikipedia's list of games using the scream, and includes titles not yet released (where the scream is used in a trailer), so he seems to have done his homework. We had a little something on this back in 2006, but not a full list of games. So check it out. And booby prize goes to whomever comes up with the best onomatopoeic spelling of the scream, in the comments.

We've All Heard it: The Wilhelm Scream [kezins.com]

The Week in Games: Keep on Rockin' in the Wii World

Owen Good — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:00:00 MDT

Alone in the Dark takes you to Central Park this week. Also, Rock Band comes to the Wii, Guitar Hero to the DS, and Aerosmith to Guitar Hero. Then you have major drops like Battlefield: Bad Company for the PS3 and 360, plus Supreme Commander for and Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath for the 360. And a Hellboy movie adaptation. If tennis is your game, 2K's Top Spin 3 is out.

Yes, gamer, you will consuuuuuuuume. Or at least rent. Tell us in the comments if you've been waiting on any of these.

Today (June 22)
Rock Band (Wii)
Guitar Hero: On Tour (DS)

Monday (June 23)
Battlefield: Bad Company (360, PS3)
Top Spin 3 (360, Wii, PS3, DS)
Supreme Commander (360)
Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath (360)

Tuesday (June 24)
Alone in the Dark (360, PS2, PC, Wii)
Hail to the Chimp (PS3, 360)
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift (DS)
Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Heroes 2: The Phantom Fortress (PSP)
Operation Darkness (360)
Hellboy: Science of Evil (PSP, 360, PS3)
Mega Man Star Force 2: Zerker x Ninja (DS)
Overlord: Raising Hell (PS3)

Thursday (June 26)
Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm (PC)

Sunday (June 29)
Guitar Hero: Aerosmith (360, WII, PS2, PS3)

The Consoles of Our Ancestors

Owen Good — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 17:00:00 MDT

Back when I was your age, we played games that sucked and were no fun and we liked it, because it built character, and building character was fun (it was an early form of achievement farming). In fact, we used a slide projector to create finger-shadow combatants for Mortal Kombat, and it was a hoot when granddad had to roll the dice correctly in the correct order to get a fatality.

So that's a big brown blip on the bullshit radar, isn't it. Yeah, thought so. Instead for you, GamesRadar has a comprehensive timeline of all of the video game consoles of the 1970s and I was surprised to learn just how many there were besides the 2600 and the Pong console. Oh, some family friends had the Fairchild (above), that made visiting their home like going to a foreign country where the toilets flushed backward. Except for the Odyssey (actually, we only saw the Odyssey II) I don't think anything other than the Atari retailed in my hometown. Then again, we didn't get a McDonald's until 1980. We had to have our birthday parties at a typewriter repair shop. And we liked it!

Consoles of the 70s [GamesRadar]

The Week in Games: Games of the Patriots

Owen Good — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:00:00 MDT

Metal Gear Solid 4 dominates the releases this week, dropping on Thursday. NASCAR 09 and Dragon Ball Z pick up the leftovers on Tuesday, plus there's the Don King-branded boxing game which, come on, how can that game not have an ultra-realistic litigation engine built in, if it's Don King. So, if you game on the PS3, this is pretty much your week to shine. Let us know what you're buying, and if you're buying a PS3 just to play MGS4, in the comments.

Today (June 8)
Total Extreme Wrestling 2008 (PC)

Tuesday (June 10)
Dragon Ball Z: Burst Limit(360, PS3)
NASCAR 09 (360, PS3, PS2)
Don King Presents: Prizefighter (360)
Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm (360, PC)
EVE Online: Empyrean Age (PC)
Blast Works: Build, Trade, Destroy (Wii)
Jake Hunter: Detective Chronicles (DS)
Looney Tunes: Cartoon Conductor (DS)
Backyard Baseball 2009 (Wii)
Trainz: The Complete Collection (PC)

Thursday (June 12)
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3)

The Week in Games: Kung Fu Bug's Life Bee Movie Cars Panda

Owen Good — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:00:00 MDT

This week looks like the second wave of big summer-season releases, dropping Ninja Gaiden II, GRID, Lego Indiana Jones, and The Bourne Conspiracy on Tuesday, followed by The Incredible Hulk on Friday. Oh, and let's also not forget ~~Activision payday~~ movie tie-in Kung Fu Panda: Shovelware edition, which accompanies the animated, thinly veiled Nacho Libre redux hitting screens this week. Consistent readers of the site will know I despise two things: Yap dogs, and animated movies with a color-by-numbers stranger-in-a-strange-land narrative. Hate them like Colbert hates bears. And a panda is a bear.

Buying/renting any of these? Hit the comments.

Monday (June 2):
Dracula: Origin (PC)
Stronghold Crusader Extreme (PC)

Tuesday (June 3):
Ninja Gaiden II (360)
GRID (PC, 360, PS3)
Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Conspiracy (360, PS3)
Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures (PSP, 360, Wii, PS3, PC, PS2, DS)
Kung Fu Panda (360, PC, PS2, Wii, PS3, DS)
Summon Night: Twin Age (DS)
Hot Shots Golf: Open Tee 2 (PSP)
Fatal Inertia EX (PS3)

Wednesday (June 4):
Roogoo (360)

Thursday (June 5):
The Incredible Hulk (360, PS2, Wii, PS3, DS)

The History of Indiana Jones Video Games

Owen Good — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 15:00:00 MDT

So, if seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull left you a little disappointed, and you're twiddling your thumbs until ~~Friday's~~ Tuesday's release of Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures, fire up your emulators, British Gaming Blog has a chronology of every video game tied to the high-adventure series.

The list details the 10 and upcoming 11th (Lego Indiana Jones on June 6) and 12th (a TBA action title later) games featuring Dr. Jones. Ahhhhh but they left one out!!! Neener-neener this is why I posted it, to make myself look smart! Midscape released "Indiana Jones in the Lost Kingdom" for Commodore 64 in 1984 — and it deliberately did not include an instruction manual. "No one told Indiana Jones the rules. And no one will tell you."

It was a puzzle game, and definitely not rendered with the kind of appeal the Lego games have. Death consisted largely of being hit by a bird or falling from a great height, then running off the screen in a panic as a funeral dirge played. It was hard and stupid. But because it was Indiana Jones, I felt compelled to play it.

That hooks back into my feeling about Crystal Skull. I was gonna see it no matter how badly it was reviewed, and pretty much everyone except Roger Ebert put a butt-hurting on it. I felt very much like I did during the Star Wars Prequels. After coming out of Attack of the Clones, I told a friend: "George Lucas has created a new moviegoing experience. The Joyless Obligation." And now it's infiltrated the Indiana Jones franchise.

Hey, we're not the only ones. Sex and the City fans probably know what I'm talking about after this weekend, too.

Indiana Jones and the History of his Video Games [British Gaming Blog]

Kotaku Originals: Whole Lotta Whorelore

Owen Good — Sat, 24 May 2008 08:00:00 MDT

You know, I could sit here and encapsulate the entire preceding week in Kotaku original journalism for you. But once you see that we reported on teh boobie (I saw your pageviews for the Jo Garcia feature), all else is static in your ears. So yes, there was a porn-slash-video game post this week. And it was barely beaten out by a look at live-action Chun Li, who more resembles someone cast for China Beach in her publicity shot (above left). Like I said, as a young boy, I loved the old ~~Roy Thomas~~ John Buscema/Barry Windsor-Smith tits-and-axe "Savage Sword of Conan" paintings. Until I saw that M*A*S*H* where some wounded soldier got a POV sponge bath from Hot Lips Houlihan (no, I'm not making that up, it was Nov. 20, 1978). So this week, we have synthesis.

The week in original copy:

G4, Gamespy, Gamestats Reporting Imaginary VC Soul Blazer
Nintendo Not Attending Leipzig This Year
Capcom Looks Into Crystal Ball, Makes Resident Evil 5 Sales Prediction
Nolan Bushnell Looks To Social Gaming, "Holodeck Come True"
First Look At Kristin Kreuk As Chun-Li?
Ubisoft Profits Surge On Rainbow Six, Rayman
Whorelore Incites The Rage Of Bonan
GameStop Reveals New Stores, Top 5 Q1 Sellers
Dead Space: Hands-On Impressions
Pachter Earns Financial Times' Number One Award
Sonic Unleashed Impressions
Which Publishers Can Think Globally, Act Globally?
Bethesda Teams with Splash Damage
PS3 Guitar Hero Gets Free God Of War Song
Frankenreview, Haze (PS3)
Age Of Conan Impressions
Capcom: Console Expansion, Gas Prices Hurting Arcade Biz
Shareholders Stick With Take-Two
Europe Gets Three New DS Colours
Xbox Live "Gay" Crackdown MIGHT Be Getting A Little Out Of Hand
Wii Fit Going For Silly Prices, To Silly People, On Ebay
Haze Review: It Sure Beats Pumping Gas
SOCOM Confrontation: Sixaxis, Running and Armor Bring Slight Changes
Wii Fit Shipments Late? Not Exactly
Controlling Content in LittleBigPlanet or You Got Your Penis On My SackBoy
WiiWare Launches In Europe/Australia, Gets Demos With A Catch
My First Steps Into The Age Of Conan
The Dog Island Promotes Puppy Piracy
ESA Spent $5 Million To Move E3 For a Year
Creating My Own Level In LittleBigPlanet
Ted Price Talks Resistance 2, We Go Hands on With Multiplayer

The Week in Games: Always Seek Balance Board, Daniel-San

Owen Good — Sun, 18 May 2008 18:00:00 MDT

Age of Conan goes out this week, thus ending, if not exactly rectifying the early server access fiasco. UEFA Euro 2008 is the major cross-platform release. And in the props department, there's SingStar, which comes with a USB karaoke mike — and Wii Fit, which finally arrives to insult out-of-shape Americans. So, anyone out there getting in shape, or are you still sitting on your asses to play any of these other games? Let us know in the comments.

New games releasing the Week of May 18:

Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures (PC)
Haze (PS3)
Wii Fit (Wii)
Dracula: Origin (PC)
Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness (PC, X360)
UEFA EURO 2008 (X360, PS3, PS2, PSP)
Theatre of War (PC)
Dr. Mario Online RX (Wii)
SingStar (PS3)
The Immortals of Terra: A Perry Rhodan Adventure (PC)
Star Soldier R (Wii)

New Game Releases [Gamespot]

The 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies

Owen Good — Sun, 18 May 2008 15:00:10 MDT

Cracked, when I was a kid, was an extremely poor knock-off of MAD, but I really have to applaud what that brand is doing online. Totally different from the editorial mission of the old magazine, but much better. And not just because it provides me lists for the weekend.

This one documents the 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies of All Time, and while the poison-head crabs from Half Life 2 give me the shivers just reading the words, only Evil Otto from Berzerk has an actual, real life body count (two people died playing the game).

Naturally, they had to have missed someone's all-time pants-wetting foe, so let's hear it in the comments. Mine was the Dark Trooper Mark 1 from Dark Forces. Its electronic shriek, the creepy, clanking walk, those red eyes, and the screen instantly flashing red as it hacked away. I hated it far worse than its upgraded cousin, or the sewer monsters.

The 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies of All Time [Cracked]

Atari Puffer: The Wii Fit of 1982

Owen Good — Sun, 18 May 2008 14:00:00 MDT

Tucked into Boing Boing's look at the timeline of fitness gaming controls is something called the "Atari Puffer." It went unreleased because of the video game crash, but it sounds like, well, a blocky game representation of off-camera work in the porn industry. It actually was some kind of exercise bike you plugged into the 2600.

As an internal memo describes it:

"Concept: There is a whole generation of kids (and adults) out there who aren't into sports and/or don't get enough exercise. At the same time there is a huge fitness market. We have seen how kids can become addicted to our video games. We are going to hook up an exercise bike to a video game, where the bike is the controller. Hook up a bike to "Pole Position" and you have to pedal to make your car "go". Hook it up to "Dig-Dug" and shovel faster - or else! We can make fitness freaks out of the kids and game players out of the keep-fitters. We capitalize on the combination of the two powerful markets — video games and aerobic fitness."

Better than that, you could hook the bikes up to a generator, too, and have an army of child fitness freaks powering your city's electrical grid. That captializes on the combination of THREE powerful markets — video games, aerobic fitness and ~~child labor~~ public utilities!

The Puffer is actually one of the better ideas in this look at 18 products — because it wasn't released. Most of the others, up until Dance Dance Revolution, were disappointments and DDR wasn't even specifically released as an exercise game. Now we have Wii Fit, selling like nuts and offending parents of fat children everywhere. But it's early, and as Boing Boing notes, anything that promises to make exercise more fun usually doesn't. Because if it was fun to begin with, we wouldn't be sitting on our asses playing video games.

From Atari Joyboard to Wii Fit: 25 Years of Exergaming [boingboing]

The Week in Games: No Reversals!

Owen Good — Sun, 11 May 2008 18:00:00 MDT

Major League Eating comes to DS this week, so you can, I dunno pack your face using the stylus while you chow down at a McDonald's on a lunch break or something. Remind me to tell you all sometime about the abortive fried chicken eating match contest I nearly got into at West Wendover, Nevada back in 2001.

Actually, that's about all there is to the story. A lawyer friend in Las Vegas, unintimidated by my claim to clean drumsticks in two bites, proposed we meet at middle ground (between Vegas and Denver) and settle up. But we couldn't get the International Federation of Competitive Eating to sanction the duel,. And my attempts to get the local chamber of commerce to give us free shit didn't pan out, either. Also, the idea of spending an entire weekend in eastern Nevada eating chicken was not, shall we say, palatable. So we both mutually bowed out. But I'll take any of your asses on, especially if you live near a Bojangles.

Anyone picking up any of these? Let us know in the comments.

Deca Sports (WII)
We Ski (WII)
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King (WII)
Assault Heroes 2 (X360)
Ford Racing: Off Road (PC)
Drone Tactics (DS)
Myst (DS)
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (X360, PS3, PS2, WII, DS)
Rocketmen: It Came from Your Uranus (X360, PS3)
Major League Eating: The Game (WII)
Castle of Shikigami III (WII)
Toki Tori (WII)

New Releases — Week of May 11 [Gamespot]

A List of Demands for Grand Theft Auto

Owen Good — Sun, 11 May 2008 17:00:00 MDT

Not even two weeks since its release and the ingrates at Kombo.com already have eight things they want to see in Grand Theft Auto from now on. Everyone has an ultimate GTA experience list, and I'm betting that GTA IV represents someone's wishful thinking from the Vice City days (the controls represent mine). But some of these have already been introduced.

Co-op play was kindasorta in San Andreas (albeit offline) and everyone shrugged. To fully integrate that into the main game experience seriously disrupts the at-your-own-pace narrative of what is basically a cinematic video game. Multiple cities: also San Andreas — including (technically) Liberty City. Robberies: Vice City, although I agree, I wish they had them in San Andreas and here, too.

How about a Godfather-style intimidation engine? The first two missions for Vlad were laughable — throw a brick through a window? Bump into a van? (I did it with a Blista Compact, too). God damn, those clowns would pay protection money for their seat at the Yankees game if you breathed on them hard.

One thing I do not want to see, or wouldn't use anyway, is an in-car view. I am constantly reliant on the elevated perspective of third-person driving, and always thumbing the right stick to peek before taking a corner or passing to the left on a hill. Lowering the POV and holding it inside the car would have you stuck in traffic half of the game.

8 Things We Want to See in GTA [Kombo.com]

LOLBox Art: You're Doing it Wrong

Owen Good — Sat, 10 May 2008 17:00:00 MDT

1Up has a running feature on worst-ever box cover art. It's been about six months since the last installation so they drop another dozen or so for us to laugh at. Yes, Okami's watermarked box makes the list. So does the Orange Box. Remember, just because it's bad box doesn't make it a bad game. In fact, a good game triumphing over bad packaging is ... even gooder!

Some of these are so bad they look like LOLz. Utterly incongruous text over the graphics. Like someone developed a game and then they retrofit whatever art was laying around because they ran out the packaging budget. Pure Pinball? That looks more like a concept for Fox Force Five or something.

The Worst Video Game Box Covers, Part 4 [1Up]

Week in Games: The Blox that Go Boom

ogood — Sun, 04 May 2008 18:00:00 MDT

After last week, I'm not sure how anyone could possibly be thinking about new game purchases this week. If you bought Iron Man, Mario Kart Wii or GTA IV, there's no way you've gotten your fill of them yet. Unless you were waiting on Boom Blox? Here's the roster of releases for the coming week. Is anyone picking any of these up, or are we still gorging silly on other games?

Iron Man (PC)
SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1 (PSP, PS2)
Boom Blox (WII)
Great War Nations: The Spartans (PC)
R-Type Command (PSP)
Speed Racer (WII, DS)
Neverwinter Nights 2 Gold (PC)
Baseball Mogul 2009 (PC)
The Dog Island (WII)
Toy Shop (DS)
Brain Voyage (DS)
Crosswords DS (DS)

New Releases Week of May 4 [Gamespot]

Five Ways to Simplify Complex Controllers

ogood — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:00:00 MDT

Arriving yesterday in the mail, as if laughing at me, was Assassin's Creed, courtesy of my restarted Gamefly subscription. I had forgotten to change my game queue (I also got The Warriors on PSP. WTF?) So, really, if I were to seriously play Assassin's Creed within a week after getting GTA IV, we're talking about a length of time spent indoors that borders on being incarcerated.

Anyway, this is hardly news, but AC has a control system that will take me a week to get comfortable manipulating. The game is a perfect example of how increasingly complex controllers will give rise to increasingly complex-to-control games. GamePro has a list of 5 suggestions for paring down the buttons and options.

• Reduce the number of face and shoulder buttons
• Merge "Start" and "Select" into one button
• Lose the D-pad
• Use motion-sensing controls (Newton, anyone?)
• Add attachment peripheral (Newt-chuk, anyone?)

Sounds good to me, but I think this is more a question of developer discipline in keeping character control lean and uncomplicated. A lot of extra buttons on a controller will eventually be used of course, so a redesign that strips out some of the lesser-employed options can't hurt. But the controller is not the game.

Five Easy Ways to Fix Complicated Controllers [GamePro]

Chocolate Rain on Mario Paint

ogood — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:00:00 MDT

And nine other songs, including a RickRoll (although, it's not really a RickRoll if you know its coming). Thanks to reader Mrjuandrfl for spotting an anthology of classic songs composed on Mario Paint.

It takes talent and patience to lay down these tracks with that kind of interface, is all I can say. I'm trying to imagine someone working on the percussion for "Never Gonna Give You Up." and can't believe they lasted more than six runs through that opening drum roll without quitting in disgust. Guess that means they got it right on the fifth try.

(And I can't believe I made it through a post about Chocolate Rain without the obligatory move away/breathe in joke.)

We've linked the YouTube video of the Zelda theme and Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" after the jump. The rest can be found at the link.

Theme from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!
Chocolate Rain
Rick Astley: "Never Gonna Give You Up"
Theme from Sonic the Hedgehog
The Beach Boys: "I Get Around"
Theme from Super Mario Bros. 3
Genesis: "Land of Confusion"
Queen: "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Nirvana: "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

The 10 Most Creative Mario Paint Compilations

Journey: "Don't Stop Believing"

Theme from The Legend of Zelda

Another List: Top Blue Ball Moments in Gaming

ogood — Sat, 03 May 2008 17:00:00 MDT

And weekends are made for lists, too. GamesRadar put up the seven top unrequited lust moments in gaming. The Sims, Leisure Suit Larry and, of course, the final rescue sequence in Super Mario Brothers make the list, but I think they missed about half a dozen more:

• Any strip poker game, any platform.
• Trying to pick up a hooker in a convertible in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
• Putting "Hot Coffee" on Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and realizing you're in San Fierro, and you're stuck at 30 percent with Katie.
• Driving back to Los Santos to get it on with Denise.
• Denise not being home when you get there. (this all happened when Crecente sent me the mod)

Anyone else have tales of thwarted nookie or nudity?

Top 7 Blue Ball Moments [GamesRadar]

The Top 5 Nonviolent Things to Do in GTA

ogood — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:00:00 MDT

Naturally, no one's going to chop together video of this, Youtube it and get it in Jack Thompson's hellfire-and-damnation spree of legal motions. But Popular Mechanics wrote up a list of five nonviolent pastimes in Grand Theft Auto IV and, surprisingly, you can spend a lot of time entertaining yourself with them.

1. Listen to the rockin' radio
2. Swim out of a car accident
3. Drive like you mean it
4. One up Google's NYC street view
5. Meet the neighborhood strangers

Whether or not this is a palatable way to spend time playing a game, it underlines the point that Grand Theft Auto is a game of choices in a wide open environment. Yes you can kill hookers. Yes you can shoot cops. Yes you can run over bystanders. If that's your choice. You can also eat hot dogs all day, watch TV and go sightseeing, if you're not a sociopath. I play it somewhere in between.

Top 5 Non-Violent Things You Can Do in Grand Theft Auto IV [Popular Mechanics]

Week in Games: OMG Most Awesomest Game Ever This Week

ogood — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 18:00:00 MDT

Of course I am talking about LET'S PILATES for the DS! Woot! This amazingly deep sandbox-MMO-driving-multiplayer-movie tie-in lets you build flexibility, strength, endurance and coordination IN REAL TIME! An exclusive review gave it 11/10! Best game since Shaq Fu!

Oh yeah, Mario Kart Wii is out, Iron Man is coming Friday and uh, Grand Theft Auto IV or something. So which of these gets your hard earned gamer coin?

Mario Kart Wii (WII)
Grand Theft Auto IV (X360, PS3)
Iron Man (X360, PSP, PS2, PS3, WII, DS)

SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1 (PSP, PS2)
Great War Nations: The Spartans (PC)
Baseball Mogul 2009 (PC)
Toy Shop (DS)
Let's Yoga (DS)
Brain Voyage (DS)
Let's Pilates (DS)

New Video Game Releases - Week of April 27 [GameSpot]

Self-diagnosing Fanboyism

ogood — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:00:00 MDT

Destructoid has a handy list, on the heels of TechRadar's "Signs you are no longer a hardcore gamer." Now, Kotaku is an open environment where fanboys are ~~very evidently~~ welcome. But fanboyism is, like terrible driving and owning yap dogs. In case of the former, no one admits to it. The latter, well, you're just a better owner of a more well behaved yap dog. Or some other bullshit.

Among the 10 signs:
• Any criticism of your chosen love is a result of bias
• Call everyone else a "fanboy" before they call you one
• Justify even the stupidest decisions/games

Well, I think we can all safely agree that none of these apply to any of us! And btw, I am toats not in the bag for Xbox 360, Rockstar sandboxers or any western-themed game.

Ten Golden Rules of Video Game Fanboyism [Destructoid]

Who Will Win the GTA Hooker Pageant?

ogood — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:00:00 MDT

Man, I am on a mission to get Jack Thompson to spam my inbox. I figured anything pairing "Grand Theft Auto" and "hookers" might trigger his impotent, wasted bot-army of letter writers which is, of course, himself alone.

GamesRadar has an amusing tribute to one of the most indispensable classes in the GTA franchise, the hooker. I'll have you know — this is written with as serious a face I can muster — I've never killed one. Ever. I consider it a point of pride that I never, even to see the outcome, lowered myself to the top-of-mind stereotype everyone has of a GTA gamer. Nor do I kill the cops. Unless I have 3 stars and have been separated from a burning vehicle. But I digress.

GamesRadar's beauty pageant covers the ladies of the previous three titles, complete with screengrabs and pulled quotes. Funny Bunny is tattooed on my mind from the hours spent combing VIce City for special packages. And for Contestant 10, I mean this in the nicest way, I dated a woman who had a similar hairstyle and I recall both fondly. And fondlingly.

So, here they are, Misses Liberty City, Vice City, Los Santos, Las Venturas, San Fierro, etc. ...

Grand Theft Radar: Hooker Beauty Contest

Signs You're Too Old for Hardcore Gaming

ogood — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 11:00:00 MDT

There are signs you're getting old: Baldness, yelling at people who play music too loud, that cummerbund of gut that's been piling up like credit card debt since your freshman 15. And then there are signs you are really old, which means you can't hack it as a serious gamer anymore. TechRadar has a list of 11, and, like, eight apply to me. Harsh.

Most hurtful was "You've pre-ordered GTA IV but don't mind if it doesn't turn up on launch day." Oh come on. I have a life, I have a job, I probably won't even have everything moved in by Tuesday ... why does that make me such a backslider?

So here's the list, and I'm curious what's the youngest applicable age for any of them? "You fondly remember a golden age of gaming ..." That qualifies Dreamcast fanboys, much less guys like me who loved ... oh never mind.

11 Signs You're No Longer a Hardcore Gamer [TechRadar]

The Week in Grand Theft Auto IV

ogood — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:00:00 MDT

So this is the week that was in GTA: Biggest developments were the creation of our own compendium and FAQ. The Aussies threw a hissy because someone sticks a gun in someone's hoo-hoo, or heinie, or whatever. Also, a handy piece of code to filter all GTA:IV news, in case you want to be sequestered like the OJ jury from all sights and sounds GTA until the big verdict April 29. Or if you just find these posts a little cumulative (nahhhhh!!). If you want to see the non-GTA Kotaku, use this URL: kotaku.com/tag/not:gta-iv

But then you'd miss awesome lists like this:

GTA's Lazlow discusses IV on Radio
Australia Also Gets A PS3/GTA IV Bundle
GTA IV Gets Its First Taste Of Console Nitpicking
How To: Block Our GTA IV Content
To Microsoft, GTA IV's As Big As Halo 3
Grand Theft Auto IV Has So Gone Gold
Rockstar Games Social Club Open For Business
GTA: Remembrances of Cars Jacked
British Office Star Ricky Gervais Appears In GTA IV
Grand Theft Auto IV DLC To Bring Whole Cities?
Game Crazy Launching GTA IV At Midnight
EBGames Try For Teh GTAIV Funnies
Aus/NZ GTAIV Cut Due To "Weapon Being Inserted Into A Private Area"
Variety: GTAIV Launch Bigger Than Halo 3 (And Then Some)
GTA IV Box O' Swag
The GTA IV Compendium & FAQ
Yes, Yes, The *First* Grand Theft Auto IV Print Review

Top 10 Games For $10 or Under

Maggie Greene — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:30:00 MDT

If you're looking for some cheap thrills (and really, who isn't?), head over to Sarcastic Gamer, where 10 bloggers (including our very own Luke and Leigh) weigh in on their favorite cheap options for some fun — and they're not all super obvious. On the list? Knytt, Tori-Emaki, Bloody Roar, and several others. I can think of a few cheapies (or freebies) I'd put on my own personal list.

Top bloggers name top 10 Games for $10 [Sarcastic Gamer]

Games With the Best Stories Ever

ogood — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 17:00:00 MDT

These evergreen features are made for weekends: GamesRadar has a list of the 15 best video game stories of all time. It's good for a midafternoon bull session between the hours of whatever you're playing (still hammering on Bully, myself.)

I haven't played many on the list to be quite honest, as lots are PC games and I am one of those lifelong Mac users (sue me). In fact, the only Portal I played was the interactive novel on a Macintosh Plus back in 1987. Not sure if interactive novels qualify, they might be more novel than game, but that one was outstanding.

I'm also a little surprised that neither Sam & Max nor, for that matter, Full Throttle (an extremely underrated game) didn't make the list. Throttle especially, as it had one of the great finales of all time, when Ripburger goes into the chasm clutching a "Can't beat a Corley" license plate. Indeed.

I've put the full list after the jump, if you want to see what made it without going through the whole article, which has some nice YouTube and flash videos of game highlights.

In no order, the 15 best are:

Metal Gear Solid (1998, PlayStation, PC)
Grim Fandango (1998, PC)
The Longest Journey (2000, PC)
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2, Xbox, PC, 2004)
Beyond Good & Evil (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, PC, 2003)
Astro Boy: Omega Factor (Game Boy Advance, 2004)
Portal (Xbox 360, PC, PS3, 2007)
Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (PC, 1993)
Bioshock (Xbox 360, 2007)
Planescape: Torment (PC, 1999)
Fallout 2 (PC, 1998)
God of War (PS2, 2005)
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (Xbox, PC, 2003)
Final Fantasy VI (Super Nintendo, 1994)
Silent Hill 2 (Xbox, PS2, PC, 2001)

The Best Video Game Stories Ever [GamesRadar]

Video Game Tropes Wiki

Maggie Greene — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 15:30:00 MDT

We all know and love (or hate) the expansive list of video game tropes; the TV Tropes wiki has put together a shockingly extensive list (also home of a wiki version ofthe grand list of RPG clichés), spanning all sorts of genres and with plenty of examples. My favorite is "Malevolent Architecture":

Castles aren't large walled structures where people live and work, they're intricate mazes. Temples aren't places where people go to worship their various deities, they're where the ancients practiced their Booby Trap- and Death Course-making skills (and they were so good at it that they are still functional after hundreds of years without maintenance). Even places like warehouses and sewers, where the design should be fairly straightforward, are designed solely to deter intruders, even if there is no earthly reason why it should be so, and even if it utterly inconveniences non-intruders. One wonders what the regular people do.

Oh, so true.

Videogame Tropes [TV Tropes via Joystick Division]

Top 5 Games to Play Before Bedtime

ogood — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 13:00:00 MDT

MSNBC has a feature up: The top 5 games to play before you go to bed. This means PSP and DS games, mostly, unless you pass out on the couch after a marathon session on your console. They seem to be looking for mental challenges to tucker your brain out so you go straight to slumberland.

The games: Brain Age 2 (DS), Me & My Katamari (PSP), Clubhouse Games (DS), Lumines II (PSP) and Nintendogs (DS). All cute, all wuvable, all games a corporate media company can recommend kids play under the covers without their parents going blasto and writing the government.

MSNBC wants readers to comment, but I'll totally bigfoot that and pop the question here: What's your favorite game to play before you go to bed? Console or handheld. I like to cuddle up with Manhunt 2. Sweet dreams.

Top 5 Games to Play in Bed [MSNBC]

The Worst PC Game Launches Ever

Mike Fahey — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:00:37 MDT

A PC game having a bad launch isn't as rare an occurrence as it should be, especially in these days of readily available internet patches, so it takes something special to be called a truly botched PC game launch. 1UP takes a look at five of the worst first days ever in their feature, "Top 5 Botched PC Game Launches." For the most part they've chosen the ones you'd expect. Hellgate: London, with its greedy payment system and near character wipe in Asia; Vanguard, which just plain wasn't finished when they launched it, and of course Half-Life 2, which completely ate the newly launched Steam service's servers. I can think of a few they missed - Anarchy Online, which lost most of its subscriber base thanks to a buggy launch, only to evolve into a damn fine care once half their audience had stopped caring, or Dungeon Lords, which was the only PC game I have EVER returned. Hit the link to see their full list, and be sure to add your own in the handy dandy comment section.

Top 5 Botched PC Game Launches [1UP]

Next-Gen's "Hot 100" Developers List Is Great

Luke Plunkett — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:30:00 MST

Next-Gen have gone out on a limb and named who they believe are the hottest 100 developers for 2008. That's individual developers, too, not development studios. It's an exhaustive list, and one which does a great job of covering all major territories and platforms, so click through to see the highlights of a list in which The Gooch (23) beats out Miyamoto (26), and Patrice's lovely beard (16) beat out Peter Molyneux (27). So, yes, in other words, this is the best list ever.

While there were 100 developers who made the list, there's no way in hell I'm trawling through it and re-typing all 100 entrants. You'll need to hit the link below if you want to see the hotly-contested battle for 89th place. Instead, I'm just going to skip straight past the chaff and highlight the wheat - ie the top 10.

10: Casey Hudson (BioWare/Mass Effect)
9. Dan Houser (Rockstar/GTA)
8. Yoshiaki Koizumi (Nintendo/Mario Galaxy)
7. Hideo Kojima (Kojima Productions/Metal Gear Solid)
6. Will Wright (Maxis/Spore)
5. Greg LoPiccolo (Harmonix/Rock Band)
4. Rob Pardo (Blizzard/WoW)
3. Jason West (Infinity Ward/Call of Duty 4)
2. Harold Ryan (Bungie/Halo)
1. Ken Levine (2K/BioShock)

NOTE: Next-Gen have based this list on who they believe is "hot" RIGHT NOW. Not in 2006, not in 1996, but NOW.

THE NEXT-GEN HOT 100 DEVELOPERS 2008 [Next-Gen]

The 15 Most Annoying Game Characters

Mike Fahey — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 12:20:43 MST

Hey! ...Listen! Cracked.com, "America's Only Humor & Video Site Since 1958", has taken it upon themselves to put together a list of the 15 most annoying game characters from games that were otherwise excellent. It's the kind of article you read while nodding your head sympathetically, hopefully in between sentences because it's hard to read and nod at the same time. My personal most annoying character - Waluigi - comes in at number 3:

Sure, maybe the concept of an evil counterpart to Luigi actually had potential at some point, like maybe if they didn't just take the Luigi model, turn it purple, then stretch him out and give him a mustache like a silent film-era villain. It also doesn't help that you're debuting him in a damned tennis game. Seriously, if this is the first time we've seen him, how do we know he's evil? Because of his backhand?

Everyone is represented, from Tingle to John "Tough-Actin' Tinactin" Madden. I'd say they hit the nail on the head, but all of our nails have been borrowed to seal shut HD DVD's coffin.

The 15 Most Annoying Video Game Characters [Cracked.com - Thanks DeadEyeReborn!]

Books That Ought To Be Made Into Games

Maggie Greene — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 14:30:31 MST

We all know about horrible movie/game crossovers (going both ways), but what about books being turned into games? For the lit geek lurking in some of us, Insult Swordfighting has put together a very brief list of books that should be turned into games — and what those games ought to look like. For example, here's one take on a Russian classic:

War and Peace
A sweeping, turn-based strategy game that lets you take the side of Russia or France during the Napoleonic Wars. With thousands of units to command at once, the game quickly becomes untenable and overwhelming to all but the most dedicated strategy buffs. But everybody claims to have played it all the way through and loved it.

Personally, though I'm inordinately fond of Anna Karenina, I put down War and Peace a quarter way through, never to return — but it's still a fun and somewhat silly mental exercise to think of books getting turned into games, and what shape those finished products would take. I'm still waiting for the Mainland Chinese produced game that draws inspiration from Dream of the Red Chamber: throw some sword fighting in with the personal drama and people going crazy, and Shanda may just have another hit on their hands.

Books that should be made into games [Insult Swordfighting]