Have you ever bought a machete on sale? I did, earlier this week.
A buddy is writing a book and enlisted me and a bunch of other friends in a quest to find the perfect title for it. (I can tell you what it's about but then I'd have to kill you.) This is a hard freaking job, much harder than coming up with superhero names when we were kids.
The Postal Service lost something I mailed a week ago to my Dad. This kind of an occurrence may not be any less rare today than it was before e-mail and other services, but it's definitely losing credibility as an excuse.
As a guy who works from his home and plays video games as part of his job, you can guess which vitamin deficiency my doctor found during my last physical.
The Rust Belt got another karate kick in the jimmy when native Ohioan LeBron James, who never went to college, saw everyone who never made it out of that dead-ass town and said "That's not going to be me."
Time to slough off that awkward "Kotaku Off Topic" headline prefix, don't you think? It's too hot for that. But this is where we talk about anything and everything, from movies to video games to giant double rainbows.
I've invoked plenty of martial themes for the World Cup, not least being France's characteristic surrender. Regardless of our defeat yesterday, I won't stop now. Today, England must go it alone versus Germany, amidst the V-1 chorus of the vuvuzela.
Yesterday I said that - and not for the usual reasons - when Mom told me my card to Dad was not customarily late but spoiler-alert early.
There are only two state anthems I know. "My Old Kentucky Home," sung on the first Saturday of May, and "Back Home Again in Indiana," sung on the last Sunday. I've lived in neither of those states.
The checkout lady asked if I found everything. "And then some!" I said. "Please thank whoever ordered Texas Pete. This is the first time I've seen it west of the Mississippi!" She looked at me like I was from Jupiter.
Mom and Dad got rid of their sedan this weekend, getting $5,000 value for something with 185,000 miles on the odometer. If the dealership charged back the cost of vacuuming up the doghair, they would have lost money.
That was the nickname of the Cardiff Giant, history's greatest humbug. If only Barnum had Photoshop and Internet access, who knows what he'd have pulled off. Some items making the rounds this weekend deserve a little skepticism, too.