Kotaku: kotaku after dark

Finally, You Can Put Panties All Over Your Wii

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:40:00 MST

Normally, these console "skins" (aka stickers) are designed to make your console look fuckin' bad ass. You know, like it was made of human skulls or borne from the heart of a dying sun or like the pimped out hoopty you can't realistically afford. In some cases, you just want to shout from your entertainment center "The South will rise again!" via your Confederate flagged gaming system.

In others, you just want to put some nearly bare ass on the thing. Thanks to 247Skins and the cheesecake artistic stylings of pin up artist Dean Yeagle, you can. You can even ass out your Wii Fit Balance Board.

Not only do you get in shape, but so does your wife or girlfriend, as she sprints away from the Wii and never looks back.

Frankly, the "Minimal Hang-ups" theme is a bit too much repeated crack for my tastes, but if you're looking for a naughty alternative to the more tough guy Wii options, this may fit the bit. Hey, even Xbox 360 owners can partake in the fun.

247Skins [Amazon via Balance Board Blog]

First Creepy Stalker Pics Of New Lara Croft

Luke Plunkett — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:30:00 MDT

The new Lara's certainly generated a lot of attention of late. So is it surprising to see people taking pervy, creepy photos of her through their hotel room's spyhole? Nope. Not in the least. And why would it be? Sure, the act captured - of her entering her hotel room - is totally innocent, but who knows what she got up to when that door closed? You don't.

I don't.

TOMB RAIDER GIRL IN LATE NIGHT HOTEL CORRIDOR SPYCAM SHOCK [UK:R]

Street Fighter Online Gets Naughty, Nearly Naked

Michael McWhertor — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:40:00 MDT

These new "rare items" for the hideous Street Fighter Online: Mouse Generation from Daletto are too hot for TV... and Japanese online gaming publications. They're so sexy, so revealing, even we can't show you what they're wearing. And that's mostly because the new downloadable items for Street Fighter Online in question — Chun-Li's "Virgin White" and Baichoufu's "Wild Panther" underthings — were mosaicked out before we got to 'em. It wasn't an editorial decision.

We like that Daletto is pandering to the SFO player. We've always wanted to see an oddly jointed, low polygon Chun-Li prancing about awkwardly in virgin white something and appreciate that the developer went the extra yard.

Oh yeah, they added Guile, too.

Street Fighter Online [Game Watch]

Another One For The Topless Wii Fit Pile

Michael McWhertor — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:30:07 MDT

You know how this works. Physically attractive girl gets on Wii Fit, physically attractive plays Wii Fit, things jiggle, someone else posts video of it on the internet, boys get horny, massive page views ensue. It worked for Wii Fit Girl, who has an impressive 5 million views on YouTube, and it worked for Playboy's Jo Garcia. Now, UK men's mag Zoo is giving it a go with someone known as Emma Frain, hoping lightning strikes for the third (or fourth, fifth, whatever) time and that they can catch that lightning in a bottle as thousands of dudes diddle their unmentionables.

If this sounds like you, hit the jump for the cleaner, but still packed to the gills with jiggles version.

Harmless, really. The uncensored version, which has some harsh reality on film, is at Zoo.com. It's SOOOOO NSFW.

Emma Frain Wii Fit Topless! [Zoo]

The Market Is Finally Ready For Wii Remote Dildo Peripherals

Luke Plunkett — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 03:30:00 MDT

They're to be sold by a company by the name of oioo. No idea what games could ever support this. They come in his & her's varieties. Or her's and her's. Or his and...look, we're still a little unsure about the one on the left. It looks like it will cause injuries. And not the type that break a television. The type that makes medical textbooks, the type nurses and paramedics will joke about for years to come.

ooio [via Gizmodo]

See Snake Bake A Cake

Luke Plunkett — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:00:00 MDT

Snake, cake, a children's book and a naughty ending? For Kotaku After Dark? Why, it couldn't capture the spirit of the times better if it had a Zeitgeistmatron 3000. Called "Snake Bakes a Cake", it's the work of both Ms. Anne Moloney & a Mr. Foley, who somehow manage to take a charming story about baking a cake and turn it into (mildly) erotic, illustrated Metal Gear fan fiction. Being (mildly) erotic, anyone aghast at the thought of seeing Snake's derrière should probably not click through.

Untitled [Spinooti]

Aaron Greenberg: Ladies Man

Luke Plunkett — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 04:30:00 MDT

It’s Kotaku After Dark. Time to set the mood. This should about do it! You may normally know him as Microsoft’s Director of Product Management for Xbox 360 and Xbox Live, but tonight (well, at GDC, but oldies can still be goodies), no. No, tonight, Aaron Greenberg’s playing the P.I.M.P. with a couple of Penthouse Pets, discussing the kinda shit he likes to get up to in the hot-tub. Yes, really. Sadly the vid's not embeddable, so you'll have to hit the link.

In Bed With The Pets: Aaron Greenberg, Part II [Das Gamer]

Portal After Dark

Luke Plunkett — Mon, 05 May 2008 00:00:01 MDT

When Chell wakes up in Portal and needs to get herself out of a pickle, she wakes up wearing an orange jumpsuit and some snappy robotic chicken legs. They're both comfortable and practical. But what if she'd woken up with...less gear? A surprisingly tasteful artist's impression of this possible scenario awaits you. Unless you're at work, that is, because like many other works of art, this one's not safe for the office.

Ed's Note: This is a fan-modified piece of art. The original was done by Russian photographer/artist Max Sauco. You can see it here.

Portal для взрослых [Sergey Galyonkin]

God of War PSP Sex Scene Trailer Skips To The Good Part

Michael McWhertor — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 18:20:05 MST

Here's something you should've seen coming a mile away—a nipple-filled threesome mini-game in Ready At Dawn's PSP title God of War: Chains of Olympus. Outside of a polygonal pair of boobs, don't expect much more than a suggestive candle-as-phallus bobbing about on a crate, occasionally ejaculating hot wax. Suffice it to say, it's not safe for work, if only for the banging and moaning sounds, but mostly for the digital ta-tas.

How Poland Was Sold On Halo 3 (NSFW)

Luke Plunkett — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:00:01 MST

Not with Mountain Dew, or soppy commercials, or signs behind trees. No, when Poland needs to know how great Halo 3 is, they go the direct route: they crack out the slutty models. This is Ania. Ania may or may not love Halo 3, we'll never know! But when Polish lads mag CKM called, said they wanted her to frolic with the game, the 360 and its associated peripherals, Ania answered. With gusto. Verve, even. Click through to see just how much verve. But be warned. It's totally, utterly NSFW. Bare flesh, wireless wheel straddling and pointing fish abound!

Ania z gry Halo 3 [Polygamia, thanks Piotr!]

Swinging Singles, The NSFW Arcade Game

Michael McWhertor — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 19:40:10 MDT

The official MAME site contains a mission statement that speaks of the emulator's ongoing development serving "educational [and] preservation purposes" to "prevent many historical games from disappearing forever once the hardware they run on stops working." It's not just a way for pirates and ne'er do wells to laugh in the face of intellectual property. MAME certainly lives up to its mission by giving us a look at something few of us would have been able to experience in 1983, the adult arcade game Swinging Singles by Ent Ent Ltd. It make look like a crude Pac-Man clone, but when your instructions are "drive through maze and try to reach an orgy house" and "avoid V.D. and others get key and go to room for fun" you know you're in for a fun sexy time.

Kanashimi Danny has a review of sorts on his LiveJournal, giving us a look at the very NSFW game that can only be discussed on Kotaku After Dark. You have to jump over pike-wielding herpes viruses and giant enemy crabs to engage in a series of sex acts that involve massive genitalia and the drinking of "hot, wet juice." There's even a promise of "oozing pussy." Man, that's hot.

Lots of pics of Martian Manhunter getting and giving head to a green haired devil girl that might get you fired are at the link below.

A Night In With MAME (part 1) [LiveJournal via Waxy]

Finally, A Somewhat New Kasumi Figure

Michael McWhertor — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 01:00:06 MDT

It feels like it's been days since we were treated to a new Dead or Alive babe immortalized in polyvinyl chloride. The long, cruel drought is over, thank Lord Itagaki, as Max Factory has released the fourth repaint of its extremely popular (I suppose) Kasumi figure, this time to commemorate the release of the Dead or Alive movie, which was in American theaters for unexpectedly long two weeks. That's why this version is dubbed the "Hollywood Blue" Kasumi.

If you're up to your ears in Kasumi toys and need something off the beaten path, why not pick up Max Factory's equally chesty Mai Shiranui sculpt?

DOA Hollywood Blue Kasumi [Moeyo]

DOAX's Kasumi Paint Job Studied

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 20:40:50 MDT

If you're going to drop nearly 8200 yen (about $70 American) each on Kotobukiya's Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 Kasumi PVC figures, you're entitled to see how that paint job turned out.

Fortunately, the PVC-loving pervs at Moeyo have put both the "Southern Cross" and "Virgo" variants through their patented rigorous testing process to determine just how good this sculpt and paint application is. Their testing process, of course, consists of taking dozens of close-up photographs of Kasumi's T&A for the lonely otaku crowd. The results are online and most likely not safe for work.

How do they look? I'm no PVC connosiuer, but the butt sculpt looks pretty good and the thirteen Kasumi crotch shots really show Kotobukiya's attention to detail. My review? Better than the actual DOAX2 video game but worse than Max Factory's Kasumi. Michael McWhertor

Kotobukiya DEAD OR ALIVE XTREME 2 Kasumi "Virgo" and "Southern Cross" Sample Review [Moeyo]

Announcement: Ashcraft Is... Night Editor!

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 19:20:09 MST

We have a promotion! In an effort to let our esteemed editor Brian Crecente sleep for four hours a night instead of three, the management have seen fit to grant our man in Japan, contributing Wired editor and sixteen month Kotaku vet Brian Ashcraft the title of Night Editor.

So what does a Night Editor do? He'll take over the site between the hours of 8 P.M. and 8 A.M. mountain time, field requests for editor firings, fix our typos, manage our "after dark" content and run our contests. Watch for hand-offs from Brian to Brian that will get night owls up to speed on what the daytime crowd read and vice versa.

Please note that Ashcraft still retains the titles Chief Pantsu Officer, Executive Vice President of Jubblies, and Distinguished Idolm@ster Fellow. Congrats, Brian A! Michael McWhertor