Screw this. I didn't sign up to have my soul devoured by a marauding hell-beast masquerading as a creepy-ass fast food mascot character. You guys can just imagine the rest of the NYC Halo 3 launch. I'm getting the hell out of here before it eats me.

The game? Donkey Kong. The location? The Florida Association of Mortgage Brokers in Orlando, Florida. Arcade champ Billy Mitchell has reclaimed the top DK score with a record breaking 1,050,200 points. This comes weeks before documentary The King of Kong gets released. The doc follows Steve Wiebe who claims the Kong high score.

There have been questions about the authenticity of the high scores and whether or not "doctored" arcade boards were used. Both claim that they haven't cheated. For example, Wiebe shot his high score with a handheld camera in his garage. He filmed himself installing the genuine arcade board, reaching his high score and then taking out the same arcade board. For his latest record, Billy Mitchell had his board verified by Nintendo of America and didn't take it out of its Nintendo of America packaging until the Brokers convention. As he placed it in the cabinet, Mitchell had a security guard, a notary public and a GameStop manager on hand. This was also filmed!

After Mitchell beat this high score, he let the clock run out. Mitchell still had one Mario life left. He says:

"I'm not Steve Spurrier," Mitchell said of the legendarily aggressive football coach. "I'm Billy Mitchell. I don't need to run up the score. I just want to put one in the win column. I want to make it competitive. I didn't want to make it too tough."

Your move, Wiebe.
Mitchell Back on Top [MTV]