She's got spiky boots, too! Wait a sec, there's a theme going on here...

Thanks, Alberto!

Hit the jump for the shameful and embarrassing clips.

Topless Girl [Giz]
Topless/Bottomless DC [Giz]

Gallery after the jump. Proceed with caution!

Majo Shinpan Comic [Ota Road]

Just look at that fingernail. It's so dirty.
Dead or Alive Mug [Banpresto Prize Blog via Hobby Blog]

For intrepid travelers, hit the jump for a close-up of said toy. A very NSFW one at that!

Boob Toy Display [Akiba Blog]

The black boxes say "jishuku," which means something like "self-restraint."

Thirty percent is a difference you don't only feel, but can see!
More Pics [Medio Blog via Heisei Democracy]

• Sheet of A3-size printer paper
• Color printer
• Pair of breast-shaped sponges
• Bra
• Glue
• Box cutter
• Needle and thread

1. Print the background illustration on A3 size paper using the provided PDF
2. Glue the printed sheet to the foam board and cut around the character outline
3. Glue the sponges to the board, aligning with the lower edge of the breasts and trimming to the proper size
4. Mount the bra over the sponges and sew it in place.

Oppai Slider 2 [Official Site]

You've seen the stills, now see the moving images. Here's footage of the Doki Doki Majo Shinpan in-store trailer. The super cruddy camera quality makes it, I dunno, more seedy. You should still be able to decipher what's going on: touching. Like with anything erotic, the money shot is at the end. Brian Ashcraft

Doki Doki Trailer [Japanator]

Doki doki fever! An in-store trailer for Doki Doki Majo Shinpan has surfaced. As suspected, stills from the clip show the stylus touching clothed jubblies — doubt it will get any saucier than that, though! There are also collectible Doki Doki Majo Shinpan telephone cards appearing at stores around the country, too. Interesting fact: besides the English website, Chinese and Korean Majo Shinpan sites also exist. Does that mean the game is going global? Maybe! So do not be surprised if SNK shifts focus to Doki Doki and never makes another King of Fighters game. Like ever. Brian Ashcraft

Trailer [Senaka Blog]
Phone Card [Akiba OS]

When the display for erotic computer game Boob Fool went up in Den-Den Town, the faux jubblies were put behind plexi-glass so nerds couldn't touch. But, what about the Akihabara displays? Nope! The above sign invites all-you-can-squeeze, but reminds all to be gentle. Life-size cardboard cut-outs were placed in Akiba retailer Sofmap to help, err, promote the game. For readers afraid of t-shirts and plastic, pics of this advertising insanity tastefully placed after the jump. Brian Ashcraft

Oppai Baka [Akiba OS]

Does starring in adult films affect your brain? Let's ask superstar Tera Patrick, who's appeared in seventy plus pornos. And since, we're a game site, how about some game questions via Gamerhelp.com. Tera, what titles appeal to you?

I personally have a thing for most of the Dead or Alive girls. I also love Rumble Roses. The way they bounce really gets me going.

Titles, Tera, we said "titles." Let's imagine a gamer wanted to ask you out. What's the best approach?

Don't try to hide your dorkiness. Use a pickup line like 'want to play with my joystick?'

NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER. Elsewhere, Tera mentions how the adult industry is "aching" for more sex games and that she once did an appearance at E3 creating a line "a mile long" of gamers who wanted to meet her. Ya think? Brian Ashcraft

Tera Patrick Interview [Gamerhelp]

Ack! That sure ain't Toriyama's Blue Dragon. Rather, that's the art work of Takeshi Obata, the artist behind mega popular manga Death Note. Based off the Xbox 360 video game and written by Tsuneo Takano, Blue Dragon RalΩGrado has been making regular appearances in Weekly Shonen Jump since last December. The shirtless dude with nipple covers is mammary-loving "Ral." His blue dragon is named "Grado." The manga is now being published in book form. Hit the jump for a peek of Ral fondling a woman's jubblies. Brian Ashcraft

Blue Dragon Manga [Ota Road]

Who needs jubblies when you've got robot toys? Spotted at Sofmap in Den-Den Town is this truly RAD display for upcoming erotic PC title Patro Vessel from May-Be Soft. Anyway, the game seems to be set in a crime-ridden city that causes cops to take to the skies and screw. Mega points for playing up the cool robots instead of the cartoon sex.

And yes, that embedded link above is NSFW. The one below ain't. Brian Ashcraft

Patrol Vessel Display [Ota Road]

Arcade game Big Buck Hunter Pro makes its way into America's favorite jubblie-glossy Maxim Magazine this month. Turn to page 34, and the cabinet's in the "Good" section of "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" column. Those plastic shotguns? Ugly. The plaid school girl kilts? Bad, so bad. Brian Ashcraft

Maxim's Buck Hunting [Barcade via Arcade Heaven]

Bad boob physics must scream books. Last month, the world was graced with Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 Best Shot, pages of full-color gravity defying pics. And this month, we get not one, but two DoA tenth anniversary books: Side A: Love! Kasumi and Side B: Kiss! Gals. Can't wait for what literary marvels next month holds. Until then, jubblies after the jump. Brian Ashcraft

DoA Anniversary Porn Picture Book [Moeyo!]

We sure do love them t-shirts, and this blown apart Wii-mote one is no exception. Enough with those Wii-jury memes, here's isometric view of the controller printed on soft Army colored American Apparel shirt. Just look at how it highlights those man boobies! Brian Ashcraft

Tii-shirt [bits bytes pixels & sprites]

Don't remember this from when I was a kid ('cos I was looking elsewhere for jubblies), but apparently the Kid Icarus manual has mammaries. While the game doesn't feature topless female monsters, page 38 of the booklet's got 'em. Big deal for family-friendly Nintendo? Nah. The character sports chicken feet and no arms, but does have nipples. And so do we all! Brian Ashcraft

Jubblies In Kid Icarus [Siliconera]

Starring Iroha the Maid from Samurai Spirits, this self-titled SNK cellphone lets players turn Iroha into the greatest maid in the world. How you may ask? By setting schedules and tests for her. Not only that, but also increase her five stats: love, intellect, physical strength, manner and figure. Yes, Japanese maids need not only to be smart and have big jubblies, but strong as an ox! Iroha is SNK's poster child of late: There is also a DS scheduling "game" called Techou Maid Techo that features Iroha and a hundred different outfits. Talk about being a clothes horse! Brian Ashcraft

SNK Cell Phone Maid Game [Insert Credit]

As we've seen, some people will do anything to sell a PS3 on eBay, including pimping themselves and or their girlfriends/wives. Now the internet is clouded with a bunch of bizarre photos of people doing unmentionable things with PS3s, many of which I hope to never see again.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on the photo), someone has actually gone to the trouble of rounding up a bunch of the PS3 auction photos that were being sold by scantily clad girls as spokesmodels. This bevy of beauties includes saucy wenches of all kinds using their feminine wiles to entice us in to purchasing their pricey wares. We get white trash gals, boobs, goth-dom chicks, boobs, bikini babes, boobs and even side boob!

I predict this to be the next big Nerdcore calendar. Make the jump for more PS3 hotness. Thanks, Cris! Flynn De Marco

See the full gallery here:
eBay PS3 Girls Photo Gallery [WebGirls Online NSFW]

Zombies: Check
Women in bikinis: Check
Blood splashing on the screen: Check

Yep, sounds like the perfect game. Though it looks like they need to put more work into the boob physics. Brian Crecente

The history of video game breasts [DESTRUCTOID]

In Dead or Alive promotional material? Noooooooo. Impossible! On November 22nd, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 hit Japanese store shelves. Retailers, such as Game City (pictured), rolled out in-store advertisements like this Ayane poster that features next-gen teats. The shocking thing isn't that boob dials were included in promotional material, but that it took right up till the game's release for someone to notice. Hit the jump for the shameful close-up. Brian Ashcraft

Ayane's Embarrassing Ad [Moeyo]

Following the grand tradition of nudie playing cards come these bikini-wearing Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 decks. To celebrate the series' 10th anniversary, Tecmo is releasing the "Eternal Summer Happy Trump 'Ayane' Set" and the "Eternal Summer Happy Trump 'Hitomi' Set" for about US $30 a piece. Both feature 52 cards of gravity defying physics. Brian Ashcraft

DoA Cards [Dengeki Online]

Just in time for winter comes these insane mammary-like Katamari earmuffs. There's even a secret compartment where you can stuff twenty dollar bills. The pattern appears in the December issue of Shojo Beat magazine, so you can make them if your into having large funbags on the side of your head. Brian Ashcraft

You Can, Uh, Make This [ThirtyKnitter via Boing Boing]

Let's make a girl gamer calendar. OK, what do we need, let me think. Girl in white teddy: Check. Girl with battle axe: Check. Girl with whip: Check. Girl dressed up as a devl: Check. Girl with a gun: Check. Girl doing anything even remotely gaming related: Naw.

For future reference, throw at least a generic controller in there for one photo if you're making a "gamer" calendar, otherwise just call it what it is a girly calendar. Brian Crecente

Gorgeous Gamers

Siliconera points out that a veritable jubbly avalanche is happening on 360 recently, including the already-released Rumble Roses XX, the upcoming DOA Xtreme 2, and cowboy hat stripper zombie massacre Onechanbara X.

For me, the question is not so much "why" (duh), but more a curiosity concerning the aesthetics of the games. I refer mostly to DOA, where aside from hair color and minor facial differences, every girl looks exactly the same. The homogeny is worse than in most anime, even. I'm puzzled because it seems like the game would sell better and appeal to a wider base if there was some variation in the girls.

Skin color, height, measurements...variety is the spice of porn.

Another thing that I found curious was the insane boob jiggle being accompanied by rock-solid, yet fairly broad butts. Even the girls on the swings in the eight-minute trailer experienced zero change in ass shape. What gives? A little bounce in the booty is something the whole family can enjoy. No bounce, no play. And with an entire minigame devoted to butts, it seems even more amiss.

On the other hand, perhaps the very Barbie quality of the girls is what keeps them from being uncanny, and thus insures their appeal. All I know is that I'm not buying any beach bunny game without butt bounce. Eliza Gauger

Bikini babes a dime a dozen on the Xbox 360 [Siliconera]

Bratty schoolgirl and cowboy hooker team up to massacre legions of the walking dead. No, it's not the final mission in Bully, it's ONE CHAN BARA X!!!

The X stands for "vortex", you see. Eliza Gauger

[thanks Jeromy]

Look, I like slapping a girl on the ass and watching the jiggle effect ripple through every supple ounce of fat on her voluptuous frame as much as the next man. Ask Eliza. With her thick and hirsute upper lip and gastropod body shape , she might as easily be considered Greco-Jabbaesque as she would be "all the more lovin."

But has anyone who works for Team Ninja actually ever seen a girl before? It's not like they come out of Jell-O moulds... a slight breeze does not cause a woman to gelatinously quake from head to toe, no matter how gigantic her breasts. I expect my women not to exhibit the same tactile consistency as a tub of cottage cheese. Florian Eckhardt

When Crecente posted our uber-exclusive Playboy sneak peek of the "Women of Video Games" foldout, the response was one of overwhelming indifference, seasoned with just a dash of the ol' double-you tee eff: who were these women, and why should we give a shit?

I was one of the most outspoken of the naysayers, having nothing better to do with my life than send the link to all my friends so they can tell me how erudite and sarcastic I sound in my pages-long comments.

As is often the case when this troop of apes we lovingly refer to as our "readership" descends, fangs bared, onto the undeserving heads of some windmill foe, a representative of the victimized establishment will make a cameo on the Kotaku commenting stage. In this case, one "Scott", who defended his publication with restraint and good humor.

Scott also made sure to send me a copy of the Playboy in question, which makes me pause to consider my choice of a career wherein any maniac with correct postage will deliver pornography right to my door. It is both exciting and terrifying.

I have now ogled these "Women of Video Games" in their finished state, and even read the accompanying blurbs. To absorb my learned opinions on these jubblies, unhand yourself long enough to jam your filth-encrusted claw onto the jump link.

As I am currently eating fondue in a fancy caf , I hope to complete this post before being thrown out for public indecency.

I'm not sure what occurred between the sketch phase we saw and publication, but the final 3d renders of these Women of Video Games 2006 range from mediocre to outright offputting.

I make exception for the delightful Sarah Morrison, first on the left, who displays a pert but all-natural chest, dewy skin with realistic tanlines, and surprisingly adorable white panties (pantsu?). My only quibble is with her hair, which appears to have been slept on after a long hard decade of crimping irons and Aqua Net (the Eighties).

I won't go completely Queer Eye on the rest of the girls, except to say that the character modelers have been looking at too much porn with women who can't afford decent breast implants: It's poorly-placed nipples and drum-tight spheroids as far as the eye can see. The only things they left out were the stretch marks and scars.

Jessica McRae, second from the left, appears to be a RealDoll wearing a swath of rubber incontinence sheeting. She is by far the most revolting of this Pic-n-Mix.

The God of War girls, center, appear to have had more effort put into rendering their kneecaps than their Ken doll feet.

The next girl is entirely unremarkable.

Jasmine Lin, second from the right, has a more coltish physique than the others, which is welcome, but appears to have a lazy eye.

And lastly, Enrica from Splinter Cell: Double Agent, who seems to be entirely coated in some sort of lanugo. She resembles one of those velveteen deer you can purchase at flea markets. I bet she's comfy!

I always wonder, when I see a displeasing representation of a person in a magazine, how much fault belongs to the model, how much to the photographer, and how much to the magazine's in-house retouchers. These renders, with the exception of Sarah Morrison, seemed rushed, airbrushed, or both.

Now, I realize the vast majority of you are not so picky, and that my snot-nosed objections are mostly academic, but I do it all for you. Someone has to keep the bar raised.

It's probably that "make a pinup for Playboy" was not high on the list of priorities among game companies approached, especially seeing as many of them are still working on the unreleased games.

I wonder if better results would not be gleaned from a retrospective focus, as opposed to the purported "six months ahead, six months behind" timeframe that currently limits the pool. Eliza "I just wrote way too much about boobs" Gauger

No links in this post are safe for work. You're playing jubbly roulette with an automatic.

Due to an insane server mashup this afternoon, smutty sister site Fleshbot already sort of posted this on Kotaku, but posts are going to their correct blogs now so this should get an official post outta us.

The previously-referenced Whores of Warcraft site has finally launched, with a ll the chainmail and squatting you've come to expect from gamerotica. Currently there is only one episode available on the site, which pits rogue against warrior in the ultimate whatever.

I did manage to find this horrifying photograph by surfing the site's MySpace, so I guess you can gird your loins in preparation for ogre ass-to-mouth. I hear the ghoul gives the ogre a high five right before the money shot.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm just bitter because nobody makes porn for me. The closest I ever got was one of you tactless flying monkeys e-mailing me, and with nary an introduction, asking me if I read yaoi manga. This person is now filtered, needless to say. Jesus Christ, a "hi, my name is ____, I like the site" might be nice prior to the pornterrogation.

One of the Whorecraft stars is one Monica Mayhem, who appears a few times in the Fleshbot archives. This post showcases the the tragedy of implants in a girl who had some of the most adorable naturals I've ever seen. Perky, pouty, symmetrical, all the right stuff. Now turn asunder. Such a goddamned shame.

I am genuinely curious about the process by which all porn stars eventually look the same. It's the Barbie gravity well. Eliza "yay i get to use the jubblies tag" Gauger

Whores of Warcraft [Fleshbot]

Previously on Kotaku: Not Safe for Warcraft

Collectors of large breasted figurines have always had one gripe: The jubblies feel like hard plastic. Ever in tune with the dorky pervs, the good people at Sega have released Neon Genesis Evangelion Moter Riders Figure prize toys with, get this, squishy chests. I'm not totally up-to-date with the giant boob toys, but you'd think this would have been introduced long, long ago. Brian Ashcraft

More Here [Sega] via Ota Road