02/19/2008 ORDER-SHOW CAUSE TO: JOHN BRUCE THOMPSON It appears to the Court that you have abused the legal system by submitting numerous frivolous and inappropriate filings in this Court.

Therefore, it is ordered that you shall show cause on or before March 5, 2008, why this Court should not find that you have abused the legal system process and impose upon you a sanction for abusing the legal system, including, but not limited to directing the Clerk of this Court to reject for filing any future pleadings, petitions, motions, letters, documents, or other filings submitted to this Court by you unless signed by a member of The Florida Bar other than yourself.

What does this mean? Unless he can prove that he has not abused the legal system (good luck with that), the Clerk of the Court won't accept anything from him without having it signed by a more responsible member of The Florida Bar. This is the legal equivalent of having your parent sign off on your homework.

Bear in mind that Thompson's fate as a member of the bar already hangs in the balance pending Judge Dava Tunis' judgment on the bar trial from back in November. This cannot possibly help his case.

Despite this latest development, Thompson remains insanely optimistic, but I don't want to spoil Game Politic's fun. Hit the link below for Jack's response.

Florida Supreme Court Comes Down Hard on Jack Thompson [Game Politics - Thanks Stephen]

Oh no, of course not. On the Lyndon Larouche website a new item is running entitled, "Bush Administration Issues Cover-Up Report on the VA Tech Massacre", which claims the games industry is praising the report for excluding any game-related information in the report. Sheer craziness.

Imagine you are writing a book report on, for instance, Mesopotamians, and in your research someone offers you a story about digital watches, which has nothing to do with the subject of your report. Then they get angry you didn't include it in the text. "Fahey Covers Up Mesopatamian Digital Watch Connection." Politicians are whacky. Michael Fahey

LaRouche Followers Claim Cover-up in Feds Virginia Tech Report [GamePolitics.com]

A while back, Japan's DS craze red lined, and it got so bad that American DSes were re-imported from America to satisfy the demand. Things quieted off, or so we thought. But even recently, consumers still line-up for DS Lites, and stores, it seems, are too! Writes Kotakuite Scott from Nagasaki:

I was just shopping at my local Yuuing (it's like Tsutaya, books, DVDs, CDs, and games) where they haven't had DS Lites for months now. When they do expect a shipment, maybe once a month or so, they place up posters to let customers know when the sales go down. But, when I went in tonight, they had about 8 units on the shelves. A closer look revealed they are not Japanese versions, but the US and Asia versions (okay, it wasn't a closer look, the big American flags were a give away).

I snapped two photos with my miserable cell phone camera of the poster in the store. You might not be able to read the small text but the general gist is there: American and Asian DS Lites, 19,800 yen (3000 more than the Japanese version), and they cannot be sold back used like most other gaming hardware and software at this store.

Tip for Nintendo, Co. Ltd., how about saving more Lites for the domestic market? Just a thought... Brian Ashcraft

Eds note: Our man in Tokyo Jean Snow brings word of just how insane getting a DS Lite is

It's absolutely ridiculous to think that a person living in Japan still has to go through the following if he wants to get his hands on a stinkin' Nintendo DS lite — that's over 2 years after the initial DS launch, and close to a year for the DS lite — but this is what I had to go through today in order to score a Crystal White Nintendo DS lite (and let it be known that I have an original DS, which I got at launch).

My wife had heard that you needed to call the stores to find out if they were getting some stock, and then rush there to wait in line, and she'd also been told by some friends that Bic Camera got their shipments in on Friday (they also sometimes get some on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Friday are for the big orders). So she called this morning, and sure enough, they had gotten a shipment, but wouldn't reveal when they would go on sale, or where they would make people line up. The wife had gone through the same thing 2 weeks ago — when she scored a pink DS lite — so she told me to head there around noon, and to try and find out what would be happening.

I got there at 12, asked some staff behind the counter in the games section (insisting I had called, because they were just about to say that they didn't know anything before that — the filthy liars), and was told that I had to "hang out" for a while, as they didn't know when they were going to go on sale. Maybe 40 minutes later, two staff with bright green Bic vests ran out from behind the counter with signs that said that DS lites were about to go on sale, and then started forming a line along the staircases (the game section at the main Bic Camera store in Ikebukuro is on the 3rd floor). I was the fifth in line — some guys got there quicker than me — and a few minutes later they started handing out tickets for the color you wanted (I was the first to ask for a Crystal White). Then, 10 minutes later, they started guiding us to the sales counter, and... DS lite GET! Jean Snow

Serious bid? One too many zeros? Is someone just mucking up the works? We're keeping an eye on it to see if this crosses into wacky batshit nutball pricing. Michael McWhertor

UPDATE: Looks like the owner is cancelling some bids. As of right now, the high bid is at $25,350.00. Thanks for the update, hitstun.

NES Nintendo - EVERY GAME EVER MADE - 670 LOT Licensed [eBay - Thanks to Daniel and Kyle!]

Well... 2 and half hours later, I still couldn't get past the fourth set of screen objects after the second cutscreen. I had the first two sections down so pat that I was bored out of my skull every time I got sent back to the beginning. Several times I swung my DS laden hand back over my head and prepared to end this cavalcade of misery... but relented.

But no man can be put through endless torture without snapping, and likewise, after the 100th time I had nearly aced the first two sections to be suddenly humiliated by the third and fourth sets of the third... my DS snapped in half because I threw it across the room.

Then, I gathered the bottom portion of the unit and touched it like I really wanted to: With a screw driver.

And I promptly tossed the rest of my DS games in the trash.

Should I have relented? Traded in my DS stuff and gotten store credit at Electronics Boutique or Gamestop? No. Immediately after this... I wasn't upset that I had destroyed an expensive piece of hardware. I'd just rid myself of a terrible cancer. I tried to remember back to the last game that Nintendo had, itself, made that I had truly enjoyed... and I couldn't think of one. I mean, they were enjoyable for the first few minutes, or hours in some cases. But inevitably, I grew frustrated, angry, and upset with the game and felt it was more like penance than pleasure. Sure, I had enjoyed games on Nintendo systems, no doubt, even difficult games, but only the Nintendo games made me ANGRY.

So why not trade the games in? Simply because no human being should be made to suffer a Nintendo video game ever again.

I hate Nintendo now. I think I have Elite Beat Agents to thank for helping me come to this realization.

There's a word for this: Batshit insane. (Yeah, two words, I know. Or is that three?) Brian Ashcraft

He's Nutso [Forumpolis]

Insane that's so insane its kinda cool. A dude over at Flickr called "Mr. Bliss" provided an in-depth look at his Halloween costume. He designed it in Illustrator on the fly with Google Image searches. His body, three Wii consoles. A classic controller covers his eyes and nunchakus cover his feet. The mustache is a nice touch! Total time to create this crazy outfit: 4-5 hours. This might be a stretch, but I'm betting he's excited about the Wii, possibly buying the console at launch, even. Brian Ashcraft

Insane Costume [Flickr, Thanks creamsugar!]

Color me surprised: The day Playstation 3 pre-orders start is the day the consoles begin popping up on eBay. Of the 18 or so listed, a good two-thirds appear to be for EB Games or GameStop pre-orders. The Buy It Now prices range from the likely realistic $1,500 to an insane One Milllion DOLLARS! Brian Crecente

Playstation 3 Premium... I Was First In Line [eBay]

GameSetWatch/Game Developer Magazine/Insert Credit's Brandon Sheffield was minding his own business around the office when he got a phone call out of the blue. The lady on the other end asked Brandon if he knew the Nintendo 64 kid. He said he did. Turns out the lady was his aunt. Here's the bizarro conversation that followed:

N64 kid's aunt: So his video has gotten something like 2.5 million views since it went up, and his myspace gets over 70,000 hits daily, and there are tons of parodies over on YMTD...

very confused brandon: I believe it!

N64ka: So this is kind of a shot in the dark, but do you know if anyone would be interested in making a game about it?

vcb: Like...a videogame? I don't see how...

Bat shit insanity continues after the jump.

N64ka: Well if you look at those YMTD things, a lot of them use game art, and seem very game-like.

vcb: I mean, to be perfectly honest, it's just an internet fad.

N64ka: Oh, I know.

vcb: And games need to be a little more...sophisticated than that.

N64ka: Sophisticated...right.

vcb: You might be able to get someone to make a flash game about it or something, but someone would probably only want to do that for fun.

N64ka: Do you know anyone who would want to?

vcb: I can't say I do, personally. You could try Newgrounds, they do a lot of flash work over there.

N64ka: Oh, newgrounds...that's like the name of my favorite radio program in los angeles. New Grounds on KCRW.

vcb:...well alright!

Knowing Brandon, I don't doubt this happened. Just look how he's cashing in on his internet fame. But, getting his aunt to do the dirty work?! Brian Ashcraft

More Here [GameSetWatch]

Eve-Ink chronicles Eve Online gamer Skarsnik's game-related tattoo project. The Eve-O player decided to have his back covered in a giant tattoo inspired by different game wallpapers depicting the game's four races.

So far only one of the four characters have been stenciled into his back, and a bit of the color added. Skarsnik says the work took eight hours. Figure he's doing four, in color and that there will be artwork filling in the space between the races and you've got one hell of a big, expensive and painful tattoo going on.

The Eve-Ophile reports that he's paying £100 an hour, so figure he can expect to be paying about £2400 for the end product.

Good thing he got the game designer's approval ahead of time. Brian Crecente

Eve Ink: A Tattoo Story [Thanks Joel]

It's impossible to top the ambidextrous Ikaruga video we posted last week; that guy instantly made every other SHMUP video irrelevant until someone figures out a way to beat one with his crotch.

But this more boring Ikaruga vid of a SHMUP master beating it on hard sort of emphasizes something that I've noticed before: although SHMUPs tend to be brutally difficult, if not impossible to beat for the average gamer, the masters make it so easy as they just park their ships in that one pixel window that allows them to destroy the next wave without dying.

I love SHMUPs almost theoretically: the freneticism gets my heart raging like no other type of game, even as I find myself hurtling controllers around and screaming at the top of my lungs in frustration at some arbitrary design cheapness. Playing the average SHMUP is like dating some extraordinarily cruel, obnoxious woman whom you are nevertheless attracted to for those very qualities: you can't figure out if you love or hate her, and have no idea whether you want to caress her or just run before she beats the crap out of you. Florian Eckhardt

We cannot even follow this dude's hands. They are a blur of speed, pounding out what sounds like a mashing of six or seven or more classical pieces that are mostly Romantic era compositions. Paint us impressed, this gamer has mad concert hall skills.

More Here [Wiki] Thanks, Mr. Brownlee!

Mario Giving Big Bob-omb a piggy back, chopping Koopa by the tail and Chain Chomp running amok. This hack proves even stellar titles like Mario 64 benefit from biting and levitation.

Mario 64 [Wiki]

The low-teen trio known as Sweet Kiss did an Akihabara meet and greet with clammy otaku to promote their PSP title Sweet Paradise. After Saaya (born in 1993), Runa (born in 1992) and Jessica (born in 1994) sang cute songs in hot pants, the gals answered questions and talked about their experiences making the UMD video in Bali.

When asked what part of the "game," they wanted pervs people to play, Jessica answer, "I want you to play the date section." That's coming from a 12-year-old to a room of grown men. They sure grow up quick.

"We were filming a scene where I was giving a monkey a banana," says older, worldly and unable to legally drive a moped Runa. "There were so many monkeys, and one jumped on my back. It was so cute."

Girls, there are still a lot of monkeys, not so cute and buying your UMD.

More Here [Game Watch]

It's been one hell of a wild ride that's involved exotic cars, Homeland Security and a mysterious German driver. But, Stefan "Bo" Eriksson was behind the wheel, a Malibu police officer testified Monday. "He was driving the red Ferrari at the time of the crash, was knocked unconscious — he'd gotten sick and threw up," said Detective Zack Conner said during a preliminary hearing in Superior Court to determine whether "Bo" will go to trial.

Bo had a tummy ache. Poor Bo.

The former Gizmondo exec and current idiot Eriksson is charged with embezzlement, grand theft, drunken driving and a firearms violation. Knucklehead has pleaded not guilty. The weapons violation was tacked on because he served 5 1/2 years in Swedish prison for assaults, threats and extortion charges and was not allowed to possess a firearm. Swell guy, huh.

Full Article Here [SF Gate] Thanks, Dennise!

Carl Freer, 35, former managing director of Gizmondo, was arrested for at his Bel-Air estate for allegedly posing as a police officer to buy a gun.

Deputies say Freer flashed a badge for the San Gabriel Valley transit authority at a gun dealer so he could buy a gun without a background check. When LA County deputies searched his home, they found a dozen rifles and four handguns. Freer would not be allowed to buy a gun in the U.S. because he is a foreign national.

This comes on the heels of the arrest of Stefan Eriksson, who was picked up after allegedly crashing an Enzo Ferrari on the Pacific Coast Highway while drunk. The car may also be stolen.

Both Freer and Eriksson were members of the "anti-terrorism unit" of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority, a company that provides rides to disabled people and the elderly, the LA Times reported.

Sweet, I wonder if I could get the SGVTA's SWAT unit.

2nd Arrest Made in Ferrari Case [LA Times]

RedAssedBaboon (yes, that's one of my blogs) breaks the story that the latest issue of EGM includes a misleading ad for the atrocious Playstation Portable version of Splinter Cell Essentials. The advertisement features a quote from the GameSpy preview of the game, not the review. The quote reads:

One of the best games on PSP.

The problem is, the GameSpy review disagrees. In fact the review landed Essentials a paltry two out of five stars. But what the preview does say is:

Although Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Essentials doesn't reinvent the wheel in any way, it's undoubtedly one of the best games we've played on the PSP.

The review says:

Hopefully, Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Essentials will go down as the all-time low point for the series. Even Sam's biggest fans will disappointed by this mediocre title, especially those that are expecting the same type of experience they've gotten used to on the consoles. Only time will tell if Sam Fisher can recover, but we're hopeful that this game will be long forgotten by the time Double Agent hits stores.

OK, so you want to hear the funny part? The same guy wrote both of them. Yeah, gets me every time.

Is Ubisoft Lying in Their Ads for Splinter Cell Essentials!?! [RAB, thanks to 1Up for putting the pieces together]

Jack Thompson, attorney, video game hater, and all-around great guy, has filed a federal lawsuit against the Florida Bar Association. In the suit, in which he is seeking one million dollars, he claims that the complaints filed against him are vindictive and that at least some are backed by game companies.

Thompson, whose grasp of reality is loose at best, goes to say in the suit that he "enjoyed tremendous success, litigatively and otherwise, against the makers of the hyperviolent cop-killing Grand Theft Auto video games." I guess by tremendous success he means none at all.

Ya know, this is just one step away from Thompson suing himself for defamation of character and then counter-suing for filing a frivolous lawsuit.

I'm not OK: Jack Thomson Sues Florida Bar [Gamasutra]

Apparently, the seller was some anonymous Sega employee who was put in charge of destroying the other copies of the game for Sega. I guess the guy just stole it. Nice.

From the initial listing:

This disc is not a complete game, the simple reason being that there never was a complete game. What this disc contains is the small playable demo that was produced initially as a proof of concept for Sega of Japan, and then shown to the press at Gamer's Day in 1996. The four screenshots at the bottom of this page are taken from this very same demo.

This is, he assured me, the only playable Saturn build ever seen outside of the development office itself, and I really have no reason to believe otherwise. Furthermore, with the possible exception of one disc under heavy lock and key in Sega's library (according to another anonymous employee, who I spoke to about two years ago), this is very likely to be the only surviving disc PERIOD. Why does he know this? Because he destroyed the others himself, it was part of his job.

I guess the point I'm getting at is that, for better or for worse, this small little demo IS Sonic X-Treme for the Saturn. And if that's something you feel you have to have, well...you'd better grab this, because there's not going to be another opportunity. There is no chance of a "more complete build," and it isn't likely that another copy survived.

I can see someone paying that much for the ONLY copy of the game, heck even the demo, if it had a security ring on it that preventing copying, but this is one of two and it doesn t. What do you think? And don't get me started on whether this disc was stolen or not?

The official sanctioned Sonic Extreme for sale thread (AUCTION HAS ENDED) [Assembler Games]

Jack Responds [Live Journal]