Kotaku 
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Denver, 4:01 PM
Sat Nov 21
30 posts in the last 24 hours
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Brian Crecente
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Deputy Editor:
Stephen Totilo
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Senior Editor:
Michael McWhertor
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Senior Contributing Editor, Japan:
Brian Ashcraft
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Contributing Editor, East Coast:
Michael Fahey
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Contributing Editor, Oceania:
Luke Plunkett
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Owen Good
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AJ Glasser
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Leigh Alexander
Columnist:
Tim Rogers
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
- Goes to dating hotels
- Spends time with her virtual girlfriend in Love Plus
- Stalks japanese Idols
- Has the whole collection of these mousepads
- Naughty anime figures on his desk
I dunno... you name it... #maximumrisky
10/27/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
Number of steps towards the eternal dirt nap lol..
Just kidding (I'm turning 30 in less than 2 months). Women in their thirties are... friskier and don't bs much so I'd encourage 30+. #maximumrisky
10/26/09
10/26/09
OO What are you doing?? Why would you put the panda down your pants? #maximumrisky
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
The boobs...they don't look natural there on the right. Lumpy. #maximumrisky
10/26/09
10/26/09
However I still have some pride left since I don't have any dakimakura. Even though I have 2 body pillows, them dakimakura is too expensive and no way is worth that much to have it stained. #maximumrisky
10/26/09
10/28/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
10/26/09
*Marches off int the general direction of eBay* #maximumrisky
10/26/09
10/27/09
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10/29/09
10/26/09
Well yea I know, it's old. :p #maximumrisky
10/26/09
Fixed the title for you. #maximumrisky
10/26/09
10/26/09
I kid, I kid :p
Although I wonder what your older son would think of you if you bought one. #maximumrisky
10/26/09
Fixed that fix. #maximumrisky
10/26/09
07/29/09
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07/28/09
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07/28/09
Sadly, gaming is a sausage fest, and girls feel that guys like all of us on Kotaku who is obsessed with it are nerds for the most part.
And as a second one, which is bowling for me, they might think of it as a "pseudo-sport", and mainly as a game, and that I am wasting my time "throwing a ball", while not knowing the true fundamentals of the sport.
I hate my hobbies. Not because they suck (they obviously don't), but because I know that the ladies think they suck. Well, it sure beats partying, getting wasted, and truly having no "ambition in life". If I go to a real university someday (better than the community college I go to), I will go to study and try to earn at least a masters degree, and not to party.
And why did I turn this message into a personal rant about something that probably is bullshit anyway? :(
07/28/09
07/28/09
In a perfect society, I would be respected more, unimportant celebrities would only be footnotes to the main public, and "nerds" like us Kotakuites would actually be respected for having a true obsession and sticking with it.
Then again I am not God and I do not control society. I will have to make the best of what I am best at and stick with it.
07/28/09
Nerdy girls who are attractive tend not to have nerdy boyfriends. It's a paradox! You can't win. Muhahahahaha....
In spite of that, you shouldn't be using your hobbies as an excuse for not getting some action. Pretty much every guy I've ever known, nerd or not plays games. it's been like that for a long time now, and hell, I was born in the 80's a trait that seems to be growing rarer and rarer in the girls that seem to be interested in me. Either way, most guys hide the fact that they play games from potential female company.
The bottom line is, if you want girls, just talk to them, my friend is a massive nerd, the definition of broke, lives with his parents, and has had some of the hardest working, smart, and cute/decent-looking girls dote over him in ways that make me vomit in my mouth involuntarily. All because he can charm them for a few minutes then nod blankly for a few hours before they blow him. No alcohol involved I swear....
07/28/09
I do agree with you n00b_pwner, but I think you narrowed down the "party" type too much. There are those types of parties that you mentioned where everybody is stoned and piss drunk, and then there are the parties where everybody drinks in moderation, and people can actually hold intelligent conversations and have a good time with drinks complimenting the party, not dominating it. I think in this latter type of party is where you might find a girl you're interested in!
07/28/09
I know it has to do with the environment I am in and potential company I am with, but if I have to remain a celibate for the rest of my life if it means comfortabilily, then so be it, even if I don't want it to be that way.
Just look at Nikola Tesla. He pretty much invented the 21st century (and all of his patents got stolen by Edison and Marconi), but remained a celibate. Although he said he was a celibate because it might have interrupted him of his job, I strongly believe that it was because he was uncomfortable dealing with anyone else. Although hoards of women all wanted to date him, he couldn't because I think that he was in his "awkward" stages and never grew out of it. His hobby was his whole life. He even had a "pet" pigeon that went to his window every day, and loved her more than anything. When she died, he fell apart completely and couldn't recover. I strongly Tesla was using the pigeon as an excuse to having someone to truly "love", as he could not have "loved" because his entire life revolved around electricity. He was a "nerd", only to be forgotten by most people only to be remembered by history buffs, and those who read Wikipedia's article on Thomas Edison.
I may not be as "great" as Tesla, but I think I may be going into the same position as him. Driven into depression because my hobbies are taking a toll on me, and not allowing me to be "social" like anyone else. It's the truth as I know it anyway. I just hope I don't be driven to depression and slight insanity that I will have to keep "Tesla's Pigeon" at all.
It's difficult, but as Secret of Mana once said, "Time flows like a river. History repeats".
07/28/09
You're digging yourself in a hole when your personal paradise involves you being respected more. Respect is not deserved, it's given. Walk with your chin up, be confident, feel no shame about yourself, and it will come.
And it doesn't matter if girls dislike gaming, you can educate them about it or just choose your girlfriend wisely. Getting a girl and having gaming as a hobby are not mutually exclusive. Look at the editors of kotaku, they have wives, and I'd say a good percentage of the users here on kotaku have a special lady in their lives too.
On partying... I seriously don't get the aversion to parties. If you don't like the stereotypical frat-party then host your own. I hate big parties so I host small ones of around 10-20 people -- I'd say if you're not going out there meeting people and having fun you're wasting your youth in university. Now I'm not saying its not important, but partying has its place in every college-age students' life.
Chicks dig a good bowler. Every guy needs a parlor trick for dating and that shit is ace. I play the guitar, some people do magic tricks, others can cook, find your style and stick with it.
On a final note, just don't take yourself so seriously and you'll feel a lot better about everything.
07/28/09
And she's Polish. Which is irrelevant. Okay, really, how is THAT fact ever irrelevant? ;)
07/28/09
You shouldn't take yourself that seriously, being driven into depression without making sizable steps into the social world is well, disingenuous to say the least.
If you're going to be that depressed you might as well try hard, really really hard, and fail, before you lock yourself up in your room for good.
07/28/09
07/29/09
I am still not good at it, as my highest game is only a 237, and I got my Twisted Fury Solid fingertipped today, which is the first time EVER I went fingertipped (actually went 40 pins over my average 2 games).
It's confidence that I know that I am lacking. When I was around 10, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome by a physician, and a common stereotype of one "affected" by it is shitty social skills. I fit the trope pretty well unfortunately. Strong memory skills, high intelligence, but low social skills. If I see anyone "self identifying" themselves as one because they think they fit that (but most likely don't), I dislike them as they give people like me a bad name.
If I could simply move past the crap social skills I would. If I can't, then I'll just live with it. Instead of being a true activist in the social world, I would be in a social solitary confinement, only being an observer. If I do something I love, then I'll keep doing it.
07/29/09
Don't know whether I should compliment you on being so brave or pity you for being that apathetic.
I think what you're experience is a case of teenage angst and depression. Now if what you said about spending most of your time in your room is true, you need to change that ASAP.
Try reaching out to people, anyone you're mildly interested in and make contact with people. As someone else said, learn most importantly to respect yourself and boost that self-esteem of yours.
07/29/09
07/29/09
My friend, work on it even if you hate it. Asperger's or not, having a girl to be your anchor is going to keep you sane when you're working 14 hour shifts trying to save the world. I'm not saying its the sex, thats a huge part of it, but I'm talking about the emotional support and the companionship that a partner can bring. Tesla thought he didn't need it, he did -- he went crazy, got sick, and died.
When the world is caving in on you, I'll be damned if a hug and a kiss from a special someone doesn't wipe all your worries away. It's worth the work to be able to love.
07/29/09
That doesn't sound like a perfect society to me, sounds like you want to replace the qualitys of being a celebrity from being attractive or charismatic to being the most dedicated to a largely unproductive hobby.
Actors, Fiilm Writers, Models, celebrities. They all fill a certain role in our society and imaginations that I'm sure game characters have for you, they fulfill the role of our fantasies and are inspirational.
With that and my earlier comment, my consensus is to go out and "get a life' (and I do not say that negatively).
Of course that doesn't mean you have to do anything your friends do, like drugs or whatever makes you feel uncomfortable and is against your values. Instead learn to make compromises and figure out what values you hold dear that aren't making you happy and instead are causing your misery.
07/29/09
I am that one guy who finds being social in the real world hard. That doesn't mean I won't try, but every attempt I tried to before ended pretty badly. I am just used to being alone most of the time is all.
07/29/09
Basically girl gamer girlfriends are just like any other girlfriend. They just happen to share your usually uncommon hobbies with you and might have the same 1 or 2 bad gaming/anime habits you have. Instead of talking your ear off about what's in the latest gossip mag they'll talk your ear off about how awesome they think *insert title here* is and how your interest in Black Lagoon is totally stupid and you won't be having sex for a few weeks because of it...
07/29/09
I would also guess that would introduce me to new fields, but I would prefer to stay in my own interest groups for the time being. If I do find a girl and what to do on a Saturday Night, whether it is bowling, and she hates it, or she suggest parties, and that is not my cup of tea, then it wouldn't work out well for me. When I am in a group of people, I would simply just wait until I need to go somewhere. The reason being is because I know for a fact I am socially awkward. Back in high school, some girls asked me out a few times, and I freaked out heavily over that, so they just moved on. I still blame myself for acting what I perceive to be "naturally" for me. I had the chance, but I blew it based on my own personal "instincts". There is a reason why Manatees are dying out, and that's because of their "instinct" to swim near the surface of the ocean, and ultimately get cut up by the boats. I am the cut up manatee socially. When I do go to the "surface" and try to be social, some deviation occurs (boat), and I get cut up badly, metaphorically speaking.
07/29/09
07/29/09
I would really take the advice of someone up there who suggested to form your own style and stick with it. Bowling and gaming can definately be given a positive spin. Games are not as dorky as they used to be anymore, and even though I hate to admit it the credit largely goes to the Wii for bringing in that sense of mass appeal that is making it sound less dorky.Things are changing these days, and if you only venture out you will find that many women these days don't shrug you off if you mention that you like playing games in your spare time. Of course you're probably better off not going on talking about games for hrs at end, at least until you know the girl better
07/29/09
I personally growing up was one of the guys that just never knew that he had "it" sort to say and was more reserved around girls. As I got older and some of my friends coaxed me into acting more confident (think of them as hype men) it started to feel more natural for me to be confident. It's the little small steps you have to do before you can make a bigger change like that. It comes with time and some patience.
07/29/09
Sure, WaW may be on the Wii as well, but it's just different completely online. And not what a "typical" causal game on the Wii is as well. Some games just equate to better online just by console alone.
07/29/09
My advice to you is just work at it. Ignore failure, and just try your best and get comfortable with people.
Sooner or later you should loosen up and be able to talk to almost anyone. At least that's how it worked out for me.
Hope you can go out there and give it a shot!