Kotaku: hot tears of shame

Why We've Retired Hot Tears of Shame

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 23:00:50 MST

Late last week, we introduced the "MAXIMUM RISKY" tag. Questions appeared: Where did the "Hot Tears of Shame" one go? Why did it leave us? Does it hate us now? Don't get us wrong, we love the "Hot Tears of Shame" tag, but we had to retire it. While we popularized the phrase, it was originally coined by writer Patrick Macias for his podcast. We're gianormous fans of Macias and have featured him and his books several times on Kotaku: here, here, here and here. Heck, I even write for his magazine Otaku USA and just finished up a piece for him last month. Macias doesn't cover games at all, but "Hot Tears of Shame" was our homage to him and the quirky Japan reporting he's done.

When we started using the tag last summer, we had no idea that it would snowball in the Internet Juggernaut it did. The phrase has since ventured in meme territory! Thing is, people have been starting to think that Macias was ripping us off and going to his site, expecting to see half-naked Kasumi figurines and Hot Shots Golf upskirts. Macias doesn't cover that! We do! And we ripped him off!! So, to end all confusion and makes sure Patrick gets his dues, we're retiring HTOS, returning it to its rightful owner and moving on to "MAXIMUM RISKY." We plan to push the envelope with "MAXIMUM RISKY" even more than we have before with dangerous and risky posts. Just don't go thinking that the Japanese adult film by the same name is copying us, m'kay?
[Pic]

Kasumi Toy Stripped Topless

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:00:03 MST

This is shocking. So so shocking. It's so shocking and TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK that we're putting the gallery after the jump, and the pics in the gallery have been censored by the site that originally posted them. Well, it's not that shocking, but it's certainly NSFW! Japanese figure-centric site Moeyo.com has a review of SEGA Prize Dead or Alive Kasumi figure designed by figurine sculptor Shunya Yamashita. Moeyo takes the regular Kasumi figurine and removes her plastic clothes. For those who have never seen a Moeyo review, be warned. They embarrass her. Horribly.

Moeyo censored the pictures. And no, the figure's breasts don't have nipples. Moeyo added the tank top for shits and giggles.
Kasumi Figurine [Moeyo]

SEGA Brings The Skimpy Maid Outfits

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:40:50 MST

Saucy! That's not just any old maid outfit. It's a UFO Catcher prize from SEGA! The prize is a maid costume that Mikuru Asahina from anime Haruhi Suzumiya that Mikuru wears while making and serving tea at her school club. The costume is actually slightly different from the one Mikuru wears, and it looks shameful — like you'd find in an adult novelty shop. The prize doesn't include the salmon colored undershirt, the wig or the faceless mannequin. No mannequin, can you believe it?! The nerve!
SEGA Adult Goods [Hobby Blog]

The Chikan Express Game Display

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:00:58 MST

Japanese shops go balls to the wall for their erotic game displays. They are so not screwing around! In the past, we've seen this (NSFW) and this (ditto) — both impressive retail set ups. Now, we bring you the TOTALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK in-store display for Japanese erotic game Nonstop Chikan Tokkyuu ("Nonstop Molester Limited Express Train"). That, dear readers, after the jump!

Note: The cardboard cutout isn't life-sized, but 1/2 sized.

More Pics Here [AkibaOS NSFW]

Wii Boobs (So Old), Dreamcast Moobs (So New)

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 01:00:55 MST

Know this: Hot Tears of Shame is equal opportunity. Hot Tears of Shame doesn't care if it's featuring jubblies or ding-dongs — just as long as it's embarrassing or shameful. We've got two HTOS clips to prove just that! One involves a fat dude in his underwear playing Samba De Amigo, and the other features a naked woman playing Wii Sports. But since we've already seen naked women playing Wii Sports (so old!), we recommend checking out the fat dude's man boobs first. What's more, the naked lady clip (starring Penthouse Pet Shay Laren) doesn't really feature that much gaming. We feel kinda ripped off. There is real bowling, though. Oh, both clips aren't sorta Not Safe For Work, they're TOTALLY Not Safe For Work.

Hit the jump for the shameful and embarrassing clips.

Topless Girl [Giz]
Topless/Bottomless DC [Giz]

Lei Fang Statue Lacks Graceful Clothes

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 07:00:32 MST

It's still After Dark, no? Well, it is somewhere. Here's the embarrassing sequel to the Kotobukiya statue of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2's Lei Fang. As with before, this is only half of it. The cheekier (NSFW) half is after the jump. You've been warned!

Poor girl must be cold! Figurine goes on sale this month for ¥8,190 (US $77).
Lei Fang [Kotobukiya via Hobby Blog]

Don't Look Up Haruhi's Skirt!

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 02:00:34 MST

This post is so embarrassing. On January 31st, PS2 game Suzumiya Haruhi no Tomadoi goes on sale. To get everyone excited, Akihabara retailer Messe Sanoh has a life-sized Haruhi Suzumiya figurine in front of the shop. Some might get a little too excited and have the urge to shame poor Haruhi. How the store is combating that, after the jump:

Yep.
Low Underground [Akiba Blog]

Top Erotic Games of 2007 (Zzzzzzzz...)

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:00:37 MST

You've read about the Game Critics poll. Now, it's time for something different. Something After Dark. Japanese bulletin board 2channel has voted on the best erotic games of 2007. Things like story, characters, setting, music/voice acting, game system and eroticism were taken into account. Drum roll please... They are as follows: (Links are NSFW)

1. Sekai de ichiban NG na koi
2. Kira Kira
3. Katahane
4. Sekien no Inganock -What a beautiful people-
5. R.U.R.U.R.

Wow, so exciting! Hit the jump for the rest. The suspense is killing me.

6. Koitore -REN-AI TRAINING-
7. Soshite ashita no sekai yori-
8. Sugar+Spice
9. Gekkou no Carnevale
10. Ashita no kimi to au tame ni

Still awake? Good for you.
Best Ero Games [2channel via Canned Dogs

Dynasty Warriors Remade as Dirty Movie

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:00:56 MST

Three things that Dynasty Warriors the game has in common with Cosplay Musou: Fancy costumes, third person point-of-view and repetitive scenes. Well that, and players say both relieve stress. This adult film stars Aika Miyazaki, Ai Katsuki, Rika Nagasawa and newcomer Tomoka Nozawa. Yes, that was a pun, a very embarrassing pun.
Dynasty Warriors Dirty Movie [Not Safe For Work via Danny Choo]

Doki Doki Majo Manga Out Dirties DS Game

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 03:00:18 MST

We're overdue, it's been too long. Time for a Doki Doki Majo Shinpan post! The naughty DS game that let players "touch" 13 year old witches wasn't nearly as dirty as it sounds. That's what the Doki Doki Majo manga is for! The comic version has been serialized, but now a book collection is on sale in Den-Den Town and Akihabara. It's not totally explicit, it's just rather slimy.

Gallery after the jump. Proceed with caution!

Majo Shinpan Comic [Ota Road]

What Erotic Game Actresses Really Look Like

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 06:00:02 MST

Some of them are pretty. Some of them aren't. But all of them are erotic game voice actresses for explicit Japanese PC games. Keep in mind: These ladies are hired because they have cute or sexy voices, not because they are cute or sexy. So there. Hit the jump for more illusion killing pics!

Big Pic of Eroge Vox Actreses [Alfalfa via Danny Choo]

The Cross Dressing Akihabara Maid Cafe

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 04:00:30 MST

We have one rule about non-game related maid content: POST. (Indulge us, it's late and After Dark!) That picture you are looking at? That's a dude. No, really. That's a maid at Akihabara maid cafe Hibaritei, where the entire staff consists of men dressed as maids. The cafe opens only a few times a month at irregular times at other established maid cafes. The reason? All the cross dressing maids are dudes with other jobs (one guy is a writer, another is a model). The owner of Hibaritei came up with the idea when some men dressed in drag when there was a shortage of female maids at a cafe he owned previously. This is the maid cafe equivalent of Guilty Gear's Bridget!
Men Maids [Sankei via Canned Dogs]

On Adults Day, Buy Adult Games, Become Adult

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:00:23 MST

Every year, the second Monday of January is "Coming of Age Day." People turning 20 years old that year get together and celebrate. When one reaches the age 20 in Japan, he or she is finally considered an adult. Being an adult means being able to do adult things like voting, drinking, smoking and buying adult PC games.

To celebrate (and initiate), the Akihabara Sofmap is running a special "Adult Time" campaign from January 12nd ~ 14th. Those who purchase new adult video games over ¥5,000 (US$46) will be entered in a raffle which offers prizes like a hug pillow covers, music CD and saucy illustrations. The kicker? This campaign poster says, "Grown-ups, buy an adult game and enter full adulthood."
Adult Hood [Akiba Blog]

Two Men, No Shirts, All Rez

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 07:00:36 MST

File this under "old" and "Hot Tears of Shame." Here at Kotaku, we get flack for posting lots of jubblies. Know this: we're equal opportunity! With all this about Rez HD on the Xbox 360, it's time to take a look back at this embarrassing PS2 Rez ad. It features two young men, who've got their shirts off and are telling each other how good the vibrating DualShock feels. Microsoft, Sony has set the bar pretty high with this ad. Try and top it!

Thanks, Aokaze!

Horrible Haruhi Figurine

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:40:35 MST

Jaw meet floor. This shockingly bad figurine of popular anime/manga/game character Haruhi Suzumiya has gotten the face right (very important!), but those joins are hideous. Sure, it's supposed to be a posable toy, but couldn't they have tried to raise the bar above freakazoid. This looks like those posable wooden statues for sketching with a Haruhi head stuck on it. So sad.
Fugly Haruhi [AmiAmi via Danny Choo]

Tamagotchi Movie Trailer Weenies

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 21:00:25 MST

The best thing about Appearing on Film! Tamagotchi: Lost Child in Space!?? It opens December 15th in Japan. Best thing about that? I won't be in Japan and won't have to take the kid to see it. The other amazing thing about this? That shame after the jump. Perhaps, you've already spotted it. Rather, them.

Yup, leave it to Luke to notice these in the trailer. THANKS.

Check Out This Reader's Xbox 360 Underwear

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 06:00:22 MST

Game cakes? Regular occurrence. But game underwear, now that's special. And personal. Longtime reader Scazza gave us an intimate look at what covers his, erm, stuff. Scazza writes:

I know Kotaku has a very unhealthy obsession with cakes (can't blame you), however I think your apparel coverage is lacking, but I was out shopping today and stumbled across Xbox 360 Boxers in Zellers, I think they are a canadian only store. The fanboy inside me screamed and I picked up a pair, or three. I looked around but did not see any other gaming related ones, but I think the Wii boxers would have been a little odd anyway.

So next time you see Scazza around the comment section, try not to dwell on the fact you've seen his underoos and be happy that you haven't seen him in his underoos.

Thanks Scazza for the pic!

Dead or Alive Mugs With 3D Humps

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:00:51 MST

Dead or Alive isn't only about fighting. Oh, no. It's about other things as well. Things like boobs and boob physics. There's no dead to beat around the bush, we know this, you know this and more importantly Banpresto knows this. An upcoming prize in Banpresto arcade redemption games, Dead or Alive Extreme 2 jubblie mugs will be available in Japanese arcades. Kasumi, Ayane and Hitomi are representative. Hit the jump for an embarrassing hands on impression of the Hitomi mug cup.

Just look at that fingernail. It's so dirty.
Dead or Alive Mug [Banpresto Prize Blog via Hobby Blog]

Hey, Thailand Has Erotic Games Too

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 03:00:51 MST

Not sure why we've never thought about erotic games from Thailand, but we just haven't. We've been busy. StudioGU's Angel's Tale should serve as proof that there is a thriving Thai ero game industry complete with freakazoid eyes. Hit the jump for the game's trailer. Be warned: It's cheesy.

Video: CM Angel's Tale

Angel's Tale [Official Site]

Wii, Ladies, No Shirts

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 03:00:19 MST

This isn't kind of NSFW, it's totally NSFW and totally After Dark. British lad magazine Nuts has clips of "models" Cara and Kayleigh playing games like Wario Ware on the Wii. Innocent enough! Save for the embarrassing fact that they are not wearing shirts and oiled up. Get this: There are 12 (count 'em, twelve) shameful Nuts clips. Endless jubblie overkill!
NSFW Clips [Nuts, Thanks Sean!]