PS: It can't be a picture you found on the internet...

Unless the actual audition was the process of grossly irritating all these people, this may be the most stomach-churningly awkward example of Gamer Girl Syndrome I have ever seen. From the stumbling opening dialogue in which the more angular of the two Screwattack hosts refers to the contestants as "sexy bitches" with a straight face, to the barely-concealed vitriol spewing from the loser's mouth as she stiffly drapes her GAP-adorned appendages over some painfully hyukking teenager, this video is guaranteed to make you nearly as uncomfortable as "Ivy"'s victims.

But as the golden nugget in this otherwise revolting puddle of horseflop, a young man in a business suit explains to Ivy exactly why her chosen alias, "Switch", is not up to snuff in terms of the MySpace crowd. This nameless lad is the least self-conscious and most animated person in the whole, horrible two and a half minutes. A shining island of social competency and charming gestures even while Ivy croaks "yeah" and yanks up her sagging, squeezing jeans. Luckily, whoever edited this must have seen this, and stuck him in twice.

I'm guessing she took that white-shirted couple at the end back to her hotel room and walked up and down in front of them, crying, her coathanger tiara askew and "MISS WSVG ZOMG" toilet paper sash fluttering gently. Occasionally she'd thrust her microphone at one or the other and scream "TELL ME I'M PRETTY!"

Thanks, Screw Attack. The world needed to see that. Eliza Gauger