Kotaku: haruhi suzumiya

Suggestive Rodeo Riding Machine Shame!!

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:00:00 MDT

A little background: Panasonic released "Joba" in 2005, a horseback riding machine. The machine mimics, well, horseback riding and provides riders with an ab workout. Aimed at seniors and those not keen on doing actual exercise, the key feature of Joba is that you really don't have to do more than simply sit on it to get a workout. (Though, arm movements are encouraged.) What's more, unlike, say, a treadmill, Joba does not take up much space in cramped Japanese dwellings. Panasonic has launched this product outside Japan to varying degrees of success.

Some shameful individuals have noticed how the machine is quite suggestive. And those shameful individuals have created embarrassing fan-made clips of video game characters riding the rodeo machines. Sadly, we have posted a few of the more game related ones after the jump — THE iDOLM@STER and Haruhi. Remember: These poor characters are supposed to be on the horseback riding machines. So! If you find that offensive, do not click over. The clips are possibly NSFW.

Yayoi from Xbox 360 title THE iDOLM@STER. Ritsuko from Xbox 360 title THE iDOLM@STER. Haruhi from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

[Pic]

Let Pokemon Show You The Haruhi Dance

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:00:00 MDT

We haven't posted a Haruhi Suzumiya dance clip recently. For good reason, because we've already posted tons. Too many actually! Haruhi overload!! Because of that, the bar for Haruhi dance clips is high. Few things can effortlessly jump over that bar as Pikachu can. Quality stuff, this.

Phoney Haruhi Suzumiya On Real Russian Chocolate

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 19 May 2008 01:00:00 MDT

How popular is anime Haruhi Suzumiya? Popular enough to get its own PSP game and Wii game. Popular enough to be ripped off for the Bejing Olympics. And now, popular enough for Russian copyright infringement. Pictured, Haruhi appears on a tasty treat. But remember kids, in Russia, Haruhi Suzumiya infringement eats YOU! Heh.

Comparison after the jump!

What copyright? [Neko are blog]

Haruhi Dances Up The Wii

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 08 May 2008 04:00:00 MDT

Certainly! By now you must have seen the credit sequence for anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Catchy, huh? No wonder the Wii Haruhi game is going to be a dancing game. Well, not a straight up dancing game as it'll have a "Story Mode" (with dancing) and a "Free Mode" (with dancing). The game's about half done and slated for this year. Hum~ming!

And yes, Haruhi dance after the jump.

Wii Haruhi Dancing Game [My game News Flash]

Big Headed Freaky Assed Haruhi Suzumiya Doll

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 23:00:37 MDT

Ack! CREEPY. Human heads are not that big. Found at the Den-Den Town Kotobukiya shop, these are staff-created customized Haruhi Suzumiya Pullip dolls — poses, uniform and everything. There's another nightmare inducing pic of these dolls after the jump. *shiver*

Pullip Dolls [Senaka Blog]

How Many Haruhis Fit in a Phone Booth?

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 03:00:43 MDT

This has been bothering us. Really. We've been dying to know. For ages. The question: How many Haruhis fit into a telephone booth? Such a simple, yet profound question. Hit the jump for the exciting conclusion! Do it!!

FIVE. Whew, all better.
Haruhi College Students [Akiba Blog]

From Seiyuu To Dirty Parody Stars...

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:00:11 MDT

Previously, we've brought word of the risky Haruhi Suzumiya adult parody flick. But how do those stack up with the animated versions and the various manga incarnations? Or even the characters' voice actors? NOT SO GOOD. Check out these charts that show the characters' voice actors (seiyuu), various artists interpretations including the anime and ending up with the TMA dirty movie actors and actresses. Hit the jump to look at the fugly dude porn actors.

Interesting to note: The Mizuno Makoto manga was so despised by fans that it's not even considered part of the Haruhi canon.
Haruhis [Neta Michelin via Danny Choo]

Cosplay Haruhi Suzumiya Dance on Ice and in Snow

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:00:26 MST

We've done so many Haruhi Suzumiya, that we've become jaded. From inmates to global nerds, we've seen it all! Well, almost. Here a motley crew of cosplayers brave the snow and ice of Gunma Prefecture for some Haruhi. The dancing isn't great. Hell, it's not even good. But, it is in the freezing cold, and that alone is worth something. What exactly, no clue.

Life-Size Haruhi Suzumiya Has "Moveable Groin"

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:00:29 MST

Ack! Freaky giant doll alert. March 1st (tomorrow!) pre-orders start for this huge, freaky-assed life-sized Haruhi Suzumiya figurine in Japan. According to the maker, the five-foot statue has a moveable head, shoulders, elbows, lower back, knees, ankles, fingertips and, ahem, "groin." This Haruhi has an expected sticker price of ¥380,000 (US$ 3,628.72). But can you really put a price on something so creepy? Yes, apparently!

Haruhi Sample [Akiba Hobby]

Cosplaying with Cosplay Figurine

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:00:08 MST

This is a Kotaku first, I believe. We've featured cosplaying tons on Kotaku. Ditto for figurines. But, we've never covered people cosplaying with figurines that are cosplaying. Here, cosplayer Usagi Tsukimiya poses with a Hobby Wave Haruhi Suzumiya bunny figure. Even though Tsukimiya was a Hobby Wave booth companion at the recent Wonder Festival in Japan, something about this photo shoot seems oddly profound. A cosplayer posing as a figurine character in cosplay? Damn, that's deep.

Haruhi Cosplay Figure Review [Moeyo]

Haruhi, Lucky Star, Nazis

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 05:00:53 MST

Over the weekend, garage kit convention Tokyo Wonder Festival kicked off. Cosplayers came in droves, dressing up as everything from Haruhi Suzumiya to Lucky Star or from Haruhi Suzumiya to Dead or Alive's Kasumi or from Haurhi Suzumiya to Nazis. Always marvel at folks who think dressing up as genocidal killers is a good idea. (Hey, maybe they're getting ready for Indy 4! Oh, wait...) Click through the gallery below for pics.

Wonder Festival [Akiba Blog]

Unofficial Haruhi Suzumiya Game Smacked Down

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 06:40:06 MST

Doujin-made game The Fierce Fighting of Haruhi Suzumiya has been killed off! The doujin circle behind the game has pulled it at the (scary?) request of Kadokawa Shoten, the publisher that originally put out the Haruhi light novels and manga, plus distributes the anime and is releasing the upcoming Wii game. The totally unofficial The Fierce Fighting of Haruhi Suzumiya had characters from the franchise battle each other in Dynasty Warriors-style battles. Rad! It even had cameos from another Kadokawa property, Lucky Star! Kadokawa hates on those who use its IP without authorization, going as far as to make YouTube take down unauthorized vids and whatnot. I can understand where Kadokawa is coming from, but it seems like a place in the oh so distant past.
Haruhi Doujin Game Canned [Canned Dogs via Anime News Network Thanks, icepick314!]

Pick Your Favorite Haruhi

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 06:00:24 MST

Oh, Haruhi Suzumiya. We love you even when you are not dancing. Japanese site Byonabi has a collection of various Haruhi incarnations — some official, some not. My question: Which one do you like best?
Haruhis [Byonabi]

SEGA Brings The Skimpy Maid Outfits

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:40:50 MST

Saucy! That's not just any old maid outfit. It's a UFO Catcher prize from SEGA! The prize is a maid costume that Mikuru Asahina from anime Haruhi Suzumiya that Mikuru wears while making and serving tea at her school club. The costume is actually slightly different from the one Mikuru wears, and it looks shameful — like you'd find in an adult novelty shop. The prize doesn't include the salmon colored undershirt, the wig or the faceless mannequin. No mannequin, can you believe it?! The nerve!
SEGA Adult Goods [Hobby Blog]

Phoney Haruhi Promotes Bejing Olympics

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:00:29 MST

Fugly! This Chinese middle school pamphelet features a crummy Haruhi Suzumiya rip-off. It's to promote the Bejing Olympics. And since Haruhi has fuck-all to do with the Bejing Olympics, you'd think that the rip-off artists could have done a slightly better job of tracing. You'd think. Though, it might be the fugly part that's keeping the publisher from getting its pants sued off by Haruhi creator Nagaru Tanigawa.
Haruhi China [Enjoy Korea via Canned Dogs]

Don't Look Up Haruhi's Skirt!

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 02:00:34 MST

This post is so embarrassing. On January 31st, PS2 game Suzumiya Haruhi no Tomadoi goes on sale. To get everyone excited, Akihabara retailer Messe Sanoh has a life-sized Haruhi Suzumiya figurine in front of the shop. Some might get a little too excited and have the urge to shame poor Haruhi. How the store is combating that, after the jump:

Yep.
Low Underground [Akiba Blog]

Haruhi Figures You Can Move All Smooth Like

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 03:00:46 MST

Wow, we've made it 11 days into the new year without posting the Haruhi Suzumiya dance video. WTF is wrong with us?! (Hit the jump for that.) This Japanese ad features a Max Factory "Figma" figurine of character Yuki Nagato from hit anime/manga/game Haruhi Suzumiya. The Figma line supposedly poses very well. By the looks of that stop motion animation, it does! Goes on sale Valentine's Day. How romantic.

Horrible Haruhi Figurine

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 06:40:35 MST

Jaw meet floor. This shockingly bad figurine of popular anime/manga/game character Haruhi Suzumiya has gotten the face right (very important!), but those joins are hideous. Sure, it's supposed to be a posable toy, but couldn't they have tried to raise the bar above freakazoid. This looks like those posable wooden statues for sketching with a Haruhi head stuck on it. So sad.
Fugly Haruhi [AmiAmi via Danny Choo]

Pro Evolution Made Unsettling

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 08:00:00 MST

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Uploaded by Kanakmae

Holy cow this is freakazoid! And man, my freakazoid tolerance is really high. Someone skinned nerd characters into Winning Eleven: Pro Evolution Soccer, complete with gianormous eyes. Those characters include the girls from Lucky Star, L from Death Note, Haruhi Suzumiya and Yoda among others. The video is kinda slow starting off, but stick around for the truly bizarre stuff.

We Blow Our Nose with Haruhi Suzumiya

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 07:00:45 MST

If there's game related toilet paper (thank you Suda and co. for that!), there's got to be game related tissue paper. Better yet, tissue boxes. There is! Upcoming PSP title (and popular anime) Haruhi Suzumiya has its own tissue boxes just waiting to be torn into and used. Customers can even make select which Haruhi images they'd like on which sides of the box. Neato!
Haruhi Tissues [Kamikau via Altafista]

Haruhi In Toy Car Form

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 06:00:34 MST

What could be better than a toy car? A toy car with Haruhi Suzumiya painted all over it. Japanese hobby maker Aoshima will produce a 1/24 scale Mazada RX-7 covered with Haruhi. It's an "itasha," which is what those nerdmobiles decked in geeky stickers and paint jobs are called. The Haruhi car is the first in an itasha series and will go on sale this January. Vroom vroom!
Custom Toy [Hobby Blog]

The Haruhi Dance In Prison (Now In Color!)

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 02:00:04 MST

Previously we covered the inmates at Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines. But it was dark, so hard to tell whether they were actually dancing or trying to escape. Recently, a version in living color has popped up on the internet. The three dancers in the front have ribbons around their necks which are supposed to be like the ones the anime characters wear. The color clip really shows the world one thing: This is what musicals in hell look like. So remember kids, don't get locked up in Philippine prisons. They'll make you do things. Bad things. Like dance and wear ribbons.

Thanks, Brian!

Haruhi Gets PSP Bundling Right

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 02:00:23 MST

Whether you're into Haruhi Suzumiya or not, this is a fine PSP bundle. Bandai Namco has gone all out, and the pack includes things like a cell phone strap, a stand, a UMD case, headphones, a pouch, a poster set, an artbook, blah, blah. It goes way beyond just hardware with a logo painted on — something that too many companies do. I like this. Even the box. The box is nice.
Haruhi Premium Box [Akiba Blog]

Bye Bye Banpresto

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 06:40:32 MST

Bandai Namco subsidiary Banpresto will be gobbled up. Starting April 1, 2008, Banpresto will be completely merged into the merged BNG megalopolis. Banpresto is best known for publishing Super Robot Wars , the Lupin The Third games and the upcoming Haruhi Suzumiya PS2 title (well, that's how I know them). Starting next spring, it will focus on making prize games for machines, something the company currently does. Banpresto's subsidiaries Pleasure Cast and Hanayashiki will become subsidiaries of Namco. There is an explanation for all this: Bandai Namco is merging subsidiary crazy!
Seeya Banpresto [IGN]

Shameful DVD Compilation

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 05:00:20 MDT

Relax, it's Kotaku After Dark. You know, when the questionable posts appear among hushed whispers and raised eyebrows. Some of the questionable game/anime influenced adult videos we've previously covered here are getting a 2 hour DVD release. Yes, that's right, hot tears of shame versions of Haruhi Suzumiya, Lucky Star and Faith/stay Knight. Since Faith/stay Night was already an erotic computer game, we prefer to think of that as a film adaptation. The DVD will out early next year, but our embarrassment will continue long after.
New Videos [NSFW via Canned Dogs]

Cute Virtual Idol Sings Game Tunes

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 23:00:34 MDT

What's all the rage in nerdland? This. That is a clip of "Cute Pop Idol" Miku Hatsune (ミク初音), who's name means "Future" (ミク=未来=Miku) "First Sound" (初=hatsu=first 音＝ne＝sound). She is a hugely popular character in Yamaha's singing synthesizer application Vocaloid2. Here's the interesting bit: The vocal software is tweaked especially for J-pop anime-type songs. The software is apparently way easier to learn than stuff pros use, so otaku are easily able to create things like the this melody from THE iDOLM@STER, Super Mario RPG, Megaman, Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, Haruhi and Lucky Star. Epic. Thanks, Miki for the tip!

The Voice of Haruhi

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 04:00:29 MDT

Back when I worked in the movie business and hung out with movie stars, I met a voice actor at some random party. He did a ton of cartoon and commercial work, and he actually was doing very well financially. Originally, he intended to be an actor, but he didn't have the look. He didn't even have the weird guy character actor look. He was rather bland. But his voice? Golden.

Because of that experience, my mental image of voice actors is: Balding dudes in Dockers and boat shoes. Well! In Japan, that is the furtherest thing from the truth. Just take a gander at 99.9 percent of voice actresses! Above, that's Aya Hirano, pop singer and the the voice of Haruhi Suzumiya from monster hit anime The Meloncholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Here she is promoting the upcoming Haruhi PS2 game and just being. Sadly, she's not really into games, which means she loses nerd cred points. Lots of them, dammit. Oh well.
More Pics, Game Screens, Too [IT Media]

Dirty Haruhi Movie with Dirty Dance Opening

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 04:00:30 MDT

With Wii, PSP and PS2 titles slated, hit anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is getting its fair share of game adaptations. That's not it! It's also getting a ton of dirty movie adaptations — a true metric of just how popular it is! While previous questionable movies we've covered include Haruhi vacuum beds (NSFW) and blue dudes in skirts (ditto), cleverly named The Melcholy of Hiharu Suzumiya Cosplay Gallery Yume Kimino features even more cleverly named porn starlet Kimino Yume (君野ゆめ = きみのゆめ = "Your Dream") doing the opening Haruhi dance! We're not sure if the other shameful Haruhi movies feature the actual dance as we're far too embarrassed to watch those types of movies. But, we're more than happy to link them!

The clip is somewhere in the link below. It's very, very NSFW. You've been warned!
Haruhi Opening [Neko are Blog]

Nerd Heroine Made Real

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 03:00:41 MDT

From Wii to PSP, anime Haruhi Suzumiya is getting a bunch of game adaptations. What's more, main character Haruhi has become an icon of sorts. It's so popular! No wonder that by anime standards, Haruhi, her tiny nose and her gianormous eyes would be considered "cute." What if Haruhi wasn't a cartoon? Like, what if she was real? Would she still be considered cute?

Nope!!
Haruhi Real [Byonabi via Danny Choo]

Lucky Star, Haruhi Get Dirty Together

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 05:00:51 MDT

From the same people who brought you both the Lucky Star vacuum bed *and* the Haruhi Suzumiya vacuum bed, come this Lucky Star-meets-Haruhi-meets-blue-man-in-skirt porn. That's putting those costumes to good use. So both Japanese animations have not only the distinction of getting handheld and console games, but also appearing in the same dirty movie. With a dude in blue!

Hit the jump for the blue dude in a Haruhi skirt. Did we mention it's NSFW? Well, it's NSFW.

Full Box Art [NSFW]

PSP Haruhi Game Invites Stalker-like Stares

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 06:40:42 MDT

Bandai Namco has posted a clip of its upcoming Haruhi PSP game Suzumiya Haruhi no Yakusoku. The game boasts an original story with multiple endings, a volleyball mini-game and motion portraits that allow players to stare (yes, stare) at Haruhi character as they blink. There are two words for this and they are "fucking" and "creepy."

Haruhi Game [Siliconera]

How Haruhi Was Wrapped In Porn Plastic

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 04:00:37 MDT

It's After Dark, and the kids are asleep, let's hope. Earlier this month, we posted a freaky Lucky Star porn that featured a cosplaying actress in a vacuum bed. Apparently, also anime and upcoming PSP/PS2/Wii game adaptation Haruhi Suzumiya gets the same treatment with The Compression of Haruhi. There is a clip after the jump of the vacuum compression. It's freaky NSFW and might make some squeamish. Very, very squeamish.

So click over at your own risk and no crying!

Giant Haruhi Face Is Freaky!

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 05:00:20 MDT

Ack!! That's popular anime character Haruhi Suzumiya. Bandai is bringing popular series to the PSP as an adventure title, and the game's official website shows off a 3D polygon model that actually responds to movement of your computer mouse. For example, move it right, and her eyes dart right. Move it up, and she looks up. For real fun fun, move it in circle and quickly. Proof that giant faces are way creepier when they move.
Play WIth Giant Haruhi Face Here [Bandai]

The Haruhi Dance IN PRISON!!

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 21:00:23 MDT

Just when I swear off posting Haruhi dance videos, comes this: Prisoner inmates doing the Haruhi dance. Let me repeat that. Prison inmates doing the Haruhi dance. Here the cons at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines strut their stuff — snipers, spotlights and all! Word has it that this is just practice, so they aren't, you know, quite where they need to be. The warden is apparently taking requests as previously the inmates did Michael Jackon's Thriller. Supposedly, this isn't punishment, either. It's just, well, bizarre!

Haruhi Inmates [Dark Diamond]

Global Haruhi Nerds Dancing

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 03:00:56 MDT

So, we've posted the crap out of the Haruhi Suzumiya dance. For that, forgiveness please. But, one last time, humor me. Here's a clip of folks around the world doing the dance from the anime and upcoming video game. Keep an eye for the two French fellas, the Portuguese schoolboy and a drainpipe, a Bolivian top hat and picnic tables, and New Zealand's wtf. Do stick around for Australia's entry. It's AMAZING.

Haruhi Dance All Over Japan

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 05:00:38 MDT

To hold you over until the PS2/PSP Haruhi Suzumiya games hit! Since enough time has passed to waste that freakzoid iDOLM@STER-meets-Haruhi clip out of my brain, I quite enjoyed this one of YouTuber Maggie M. doing the Haruhi Dance all over Tokyo, Kyoto and Nijo. She explains:

How I recorded myself was basically slyly pulling out my video camera, handing it to a nearby friend, doing the dance (with no music to follow to) and then escaping. Sadly, due to some areas, I went too fast at times (especially areas where I saw guards).
To let you know, I got caught by an officer on Harajuku Bridge (the footage is not there). I almost got caught two other times at Nijo and Tokyo Tower. Throughout the video, you may see my eyes looking in other directions.

Ha! The clip is a bit longish, but wonderfully dorky. Nice job, Maggie M.

Haruhi Dances Onto PSP

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 05:00:55 MDT

How popular is anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya? Popular enough to get a porno based on it, that's how. That's pretty popular! Today, it was announced that the anime will also be getting a PSP game from Bandai Namco. (From Gundam to THE iDOLM@STER, Bandai Namco sure have a stranglehold on nerd properties!) The anime's a smash hit, and the ending dance sequence has been memorized by dorks everywhere. Heck, I've watched that dance sequence into the ground, and I'm still not sick of it. Kinda hope that the PSP version is just a bunch of mini-games based on that dance. Sadly, I know that's not gonna happen. The title's official page launches July 10th, and the game's slated for sometime this year.

And yes, hit the jump for the Haruhi dance and note-worthy parodies. Brian Ashcraft