"Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we have been looking for ways to return the favor," said Gary Osifchin, Stride North American Marketing Director. "And what better way is there to get gamers' backs than by helping them rescue their cherished videogames from the clutches of Uwe Boll?"

The Makers of Stride, The Ridiculously Long Lasting Gum(R), Offer A Total of One Million Packs of Gum to Signers of the Anti-Uwe Boll Petition*

PARSIPPANY, N.J., May 7 /PRNewswire/ — In an effort to protect the childhood dreams of millions of video gamers everywhere, the makers of Stride gum announced today that they are launching a special campaign supporting the efforts of StopUweBoll.org in their attempt to convince famed film director Uwe Boll to stop making video game-based films.

For years, Boll has piqued the ire of the gaming community by adapting many of their favorite games into universally panned films (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/uwe_boll/). On April 4, 2008, Boll remarked to legendary horror site FearNet that he'd consider acquiescing to his critics and abandoning making films in this genre if an online petition reached one million signatures. As of press time, the petition is just about 234,000 names, which is why Stride has decided to jump in.

"Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we have been looking for ways to return the favor," said Gary Osifchin, Stride North American Marketing Director. "And what better way is there to get gamers' backs than by helping them rescue their cherished videogames from the clutches of Uwe Boll?"

In an effort to help boost signings, the makers of Stride have put out a special bounty. If the petition reaches the required 1 million signatures by May 14 at 5pm EDT, each signer will receive a digital coupon* for a pack of gum, downloadable on May 23, 2008, a day that could really use some long-lasting refreshment, particularly as it will see the debut of his latest videogame-based film.

"Look, it's nothing personal against the guy. Maybe his non videogame-based films are unbelievable! But we have seen such intense passion for this cause that we couldn't help but get involved," said Osifchin. "Let the signing continue."

* Stride will provide a downloadable coupon (good for one pack of gum) to each petition signer that will be downloadable on May 23, 2008, if the target of one million signatures is reached between May 7 and 14, 2008. Additional details will be forthcoming.

The basic concept is that you're going up against an opponent and there are multiple ways to win. You play an avatar, and your opponent plays an avatar, and the idea is you can either win by killing your opponent's avatar or by completing quests. You can put certain quests into your deck, and you can use abilities to actually go after these quests. If you have a particular quest in mind you can use your ability cards to solve each quest. Your opponent, though, can also put down monsters and use abilities to block you from completing that quest. So you can take two paths: you can either try to kill the other person's avatar directly, or you can try to complete things by solving quests. The idea is that you have strategic options in the fight.

This quote is taken straight from the MMOG Nation article which, if you're interested in the game, I suggest you go check out. It's well done, asks all the right questions and is full of great info. Congrats to Michael from MMOGN on scoring such a terrific interview.

John Smedley Interview On Legends of Norrath [MMOG Nation]

That's pretty much it folks. Tetris frame-by-frame in Chiclets. Bonus points for increasing the speed and not chewing up our time by keeping it short. Brian Ashcraft

Gum Tetris [Dark Diamond]

So what is it? In brief, Eon8 is a website. Eon8.com, .net, .org all show the same thing (or they would, if I could access them right now). It's spooky in that minimalist, countdown-to-doom sort of way, and in fact includes a timer counting down to...what? A Digg commentor said it was launching a new brand of gum, and he's probably right.

There's also a world map with menacing red dots thrown willy-nilly all over it, much like the delicate play of acne eruptions graces the aquiline face of Florian's Lesser Wife.

More hooplah and folderol after yon jump, knave. UPDATE also after jump!

Popular theories include: viral marketing meme for a video game or something related; flat-out hoax; scientologists (spawned by references to "auditing" and "Theta9"); nuclear strike; cyberterrorism; and the end of the world, respectively.

We find out what all this means in a few hours. Or maybe we get another counter, ilovebees-style.

Until then, I attempted to make contact with an AIM address that may or may not have anything to do with the website. When people are so accursedly bored that they will actually pretend to be Jhonen Vasquez on their GreatestJournal, I am quick to dismiss anyone claiming to be anyone with any affiliation. As far as I'm concerned, you could all be brains in buckets on Alpha Centauri.

The account is Eon8Countdown, and he answered every query with spy-movie villain fluffery such as "Everything will be ready in time." I went at him as a Kotakuite and his response was that he didn't like bloggers. But I imagine he would be evasive no matter who he was talking to. Give him a shot, the account is public as of posting. E-mail anything interesting to me, or the tips line.

As usual, the response to the site is far more entertaining than the site itself, or anything it could possibly be advertising. Thanks for the tip, Ryan! ELIZA GAUGER

UPDATE!!! Reader Nick just wrote in with a chatlog in which the AIM account finally gets fed up and admits to being a fake. When asked point-blank, for the second time, whether he was or was not associated with Eon8, AIm user Eon8Countdown bails: "Not. Made this yesterday when I was teh bored."

So there you have it. Teh boredom assaults us all. Still, this dude's schtick is a little better than pretending to be Jhonen Vasquez.

Eon8Countdown then IMed me seperately: "[..] thanks to your article (I imagine) a load more people IMed me." I told him I sent my flying monkeys to make him break under the strain. He replied, "I saw. I guess you can say it worked. When I was talking to you I was carefully regulating myself. Making sure I didn't do anything stupid, but meh, now, I was sorta off it. So, instead of screwing myself over on accident, I just IMed everyone with: [20:23] Eon8Countdown: Alright. Yawn. I'm not connected to Eon8. Faretheewell!"

End of update. One mystery solved, thanks to the Kotaku Constabulary and their faithful Scouts! You had a good run, Eon8Countdown.

Here's some nice gummy linkage:

Eon8.com (it's a little shaky right now due to Digg Effect)

YTMND post linking the game Uplink to the Eon8 thing

Collected Eon8 Stuff on Digg

Edge of Nowhere thread

Unfiction Thread (Unfiction is all about this sort of alternate-reality stuff)

PHASE 8 - The Waxing Quintile (Only link to something else called Eon8 that I could find.)