In addition to the sarcastic double-quoting of words like "press" and "reviews," clearly indicating that both are naught but pale imitations of the real thing, Halverson says that the "review events" at which he thinks Golden Axe: Beast Rider was measured are an indication that of the "game industry going down the wrong path."

He also complains that Beast Rider's well below average scores "for the most part echo the opposite opinions of real gamers."

We can't speak to the final quality of Golden Axe: Beast Rider yet, as our hands-on time with the title has been limited to time at the Leipzig Games Convention and a few hours with the retail build. (Fahey picked it up before the weekend.)

Who out there has the game, has played it and either agrees or disagrees with Halverson's glowing review and subsequent rant?

Dave Talks Golden Axe [Play]

I mean, even the purple chicken things are brown.

That's not to say Golden Axe: Beast Rider is a bad game, from our hands on time with it. Just a bit uninspired, lacking in some tangible oomph, in the graphics department and the swordplay.

Beast Rider star Tyris Flare looks fantastic though. Whomever is responsible for her model and those perfectly modeled lower back dimples deserves a raise. The PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 game does have its moments, visually. Hopping on a ridable beast that can camouflage itself with a Predator like effect looks pretty snazzy too.

The hand-to-hand action though, feels like a sludgier take on Heavenly Sword's combat system. Prior to attacks, Death Adder's minions will glow blue or orange, indicating whether you should parry or evade. If they glow green, it's ladies' choice. Respond accordingly and your next attack will be of the flaming sword variety.

Golden Axe: Beast Rider definitely gets some things right. The inclusion of throwback elements like the green and blue gnomes that drop refreshing meat ad magic potions return, as do the multi-tiered magic spells.

But many of the series' main draws — bright environments, co-op multiplayer and dazzling, increasingly ridiculous spells, metal bikinis — have been overlooked. And Flare's magic abilities just ooze boring. Where are the giant, fire puking dragon heads, guys? It's a game that appears to be full of good intentions — middling, road to Hell paving stuff.

We're not quite writing it off yet. Golden Axe: Beast Rider may have been only a semi-enjoyable slog, but we can see ourselves playing through a good portion of it, if only wanting for a thrill. Who knows if we'll leave the experience disappointed, because the game showed at least promise, even if it was a bit bland around the edges.

Blogger SegaDawg didn't get any looks at the gameplay, but does write:

I did see a demo of Tyris riding one particular beast that will deal some severe swipe damage with its claws. There are several types of beast mounts in the game, each with its own strengths and weaknesses, and my bet is that there will be points in the game where you have to ride a specific beast in order to accomplish certain goals — but that's just a hunch.

Because of the latest issue of PSM3, now we know. And correct me if I'm wrong, but it's sounding a lot like Lair:

1. You can now only play the female character, Tyris Flar, a single protagonist as opposed to choosing the dwarf etc.
2. Free-roaming environments promote flying around on various beasts.
3. You can go on land to do some standard hack 'n slashing.

Honestly, the pitch lost me at "you can only be one character." Hopefully I'm being prematurely negative for unfounded reasons. We'll see.

Golden Axe PS3: First details [cvg]

Sega confirms Golden Axe is still on track for PS3 [PSU]

On the other hand, it's Sega. They could've have decided to divert resources to what would essentially be Golden Axe: The Ride at one of its SegaWorks arcade locations. We'll bug them and try to find out more.

Sega recently announced plans to release another Nordic themed property, licensing Marvel's Thor for a multi-year agreement and has also long talked of a Golden Axe game for the above mentioned consoles. Wondering if Viking: Battle of Asgard has something to do with either of those titles? Me, too.

Retail Radar: Sega's Viking, Rock Band release date? [Gamespot]

Sega just announced, and tons of your helpful readers just confirmed, that both Golden Axe and Ecco the Dolphin have popped up on the Wii Shop Channel.

Man, Golden Axe, I love that game. I can't want to get home and (re)play through that game. It was one of my favorite arcade games when it first hit. If you are lame to super lame and haven't heard of these games hit the jump for their descriptions and to be ridiculed. Brian Crecente

Golden Axe - Three mighty heroes have a score to settle with the evil Death Adder in this classic action game. As a powerful fighter, a female amazon or a mighty dwarf, you'll fight through Adder's henchman with weapons and magic attacks or ride the fearsome, fire-breathing beasts to your advantage. (1988/ SEGA)

Ecco the Dolphin - Help Ecco the Dolphin find his missing friends by exploring his vast ocean world. You must surface for air and keep an eye out for enemies as you search the depths. Ecco's unique sonar ability will give you helpful information from other sea creatures. (1992/ SEGA)

Golden Axe, one of the original side-scrolling-Conan ripoff games is coming to next generation consoles.

SEGA of America and Sega Europe today announced the long-anticipated return of Golden Axe, a fan favourite since its original release in 1989. Developed exclusively for the PlayStation 3 and the Xbox 360, Golden Axe marks the first project from the recent acquisition of San Francisco-based studio Secret Level. Golden Axe delivers action-RPG thrills as a small band of Riders embark on an epic adventure to recruit allies, expose the enemy and prevent the annihilation of their breed. Delivering an intense and unique combat experience, players charge into battle on the backs of ferocious beasts or take their chances with the enemy while on foot. Fighting skill, wits and even magic are all called into action as players immerse themselves in the struggle to defeat an evil intent on enslaving the remains of civilization. Golden Axe is slated for release in 2007.

Is the dwarf still gimpy? He better be!

"Golden Axe is one of our most treasured brands and is a complete re-imagining of the story that will take gamers on an unforgettable journey," said Scott Steinberg, vice president of marketing at Sega of America. Golden Axe had a story? Steinberg continued: "The vision we have for the remake of Golden Axe is nothing short of remarkable and it can only be realized on the PS3 and Xbox 360." The Wii, apparently, can go suck it.

No other details right now, although we hope you still get to ride those purple chicken things, which Wikipedia informs us are called 'Bizarians'. There's apparently going to be a teaser trailer on the E3 showfloor today, so maybe one of the one-site Kotaku editors can shake off their delirium tremens long enough to get some shaky cam of it.

Golden Axe Coming to Next-Gen [1UP]