GamesRadar has an amusing tribute to one of the most indispensable classes in the GTA franchise, the hooker. I'll have you know — this is written with as serious a face I can muster — I've never killed one. Ever. I consider it a point of pride that I never, even to see the outcome, lowered myself to the top-of-mind stereotype everyone has of a GTA gamer. Nor do I kill the cops. Unless I have 3 stars and have been separated from a burning vehicle. But I digress.

GamesRadar's beauty pageant covers the ladies of the previous three titles, complete with screengrabs and pulled quotes. Funny Bunny is tattooed on my mind from the hours spent combing VIce City for special packages. And for Contestant 10, I mean this in the nicest way, I dated a woman who had a similar hairstyle and I recall both fondly. And fondlingly.

So, here they are, Misses Liberty City, Vice City, Los Santos, Las Venturas, San Fierro, etc. ...

Grand Theft Radar: Hooker Beauty Contest

I haven't played many on the list to be quite honest, as lots are PC games and I am one of those lifelong Mac users (sue me). In fact, the only Portal I played was the interactive novel on a Macintosh Plus back in 1987. Not sure if interactive novels qualify, they might be more novel than game, but that one was outstanding.

I'm also a little surprised that neither Sam & Max nor, for that matter, Full Throttle (an extremely underrated game) didn't make the list. Throttle especially, as it had one of the great finales of all time, when Ripburger goes into the chasm clutching a "Can't beat a Corley" license plate. Indeed.

I've put the full list after the jump, if you want to see what made it without going through the whole article, which has some nice YouTube and flash videos of game highlights.

In no order, the 15 best are:

Metal Gear Solid (1998, PlayStation, PC)
Grim Fandango (1998, PC)
The Longest Journey (2000, PC)
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2, Xbox, PC, 2004)
Beyond Good & Evil (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, PC, 2003)
Astro Boy: Omega Factor (Game Boy Advance, 2004)
Portal (Xbox 360, PC, PS3, 2007)
Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (PC, 1993)
Bioshock (Xbox 360, 2007)
Planescape: Torment (PC, 1999)
Fallout 2 (PC, 1998)
God of War (PS2, 2005)
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (Xbox, PC, 2003)
Final Fantasy VI (Super Nintendo, 1994)
Silent Hill 2 (Xbox, PS2, PC, 2001)

The Best Video Game Stories Ever [GamesRadar]

I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump and grind. It's even less wrong when that bumping and grinding is taking place between two lovely ladies. When two lovely ladies aren't available, two bitmapped or polygonal ladies will have to do.

Digital sapphic-inclined discriminators now have a list of the seven best girl-on-girl makeouts and liplocks, courtesy of GamesRadar, the only outlet willing to tackle the question "Are The Sims girls getting freaknasty hotter than the girls of Mortal Kombat?" The answer, by the way, is "Yes."

Sure, crudely constructed virtual girls mounting other girls isn't going to "do the job" for most of us, but in a pinch, it's all you have. Did I mention there's video? Michael McWhertor

The Top 7... Girl-on-girl kisses [GamesRadar]