Man, I am on a mission to get Jack Thompson to spam my inbox. I figured anything pairing "Grand Theft Auto" and "hookers" might trigger his impotent, wasted bot-army of letter writers which is, of course, himself alone.

GamesRadar has an amusing tribute to one of the most indispensable classes in the GTA franchise, the hooker. I'll have you know — this is written with as serious a face I can muster — I've never killed one. Ever. I consider it a point of pride that I never, even to see the outcome, lowered myself to the top-of-mind stereotype everyone has of a GTA gamer. Nor do I kill the cops. Unless I have 3 stars and have been separated from a burning vehicle. But I digress.

These evergreen features are made for weekends: GamesRadar has a list of the 15 best video game stories of all time. It's good for a midafternoon bull session between the hours of whatever you're playing (still hammering on Bully, myself.)

I haven't played many on the list to be quite honest, as lots are PC games and I am one of those lifelong Mac users (sue me). In fact, the only Portal I played was the interactive novel on a Macintosh Plus back in 1987. Not sure if interactive novels qualify, they might be more novel than game, but that one was outstanding.

I'm also a little surprised that neither Sam & Max nor, for that matter, Full Throttle (an extremely underrated game) didn't make the list. Throttle especially, as it had one of the great finales of all time, when Ripburger goes into the chasm clutching a "Can't beat a Corley" license plate. Indeed.

I've put the full list after the jump, if you want to see what made it without going through the whole article, which has some nice YouTube and flash videos of game highlights.

Hot Lesbian Kissing (In Games)