The video's creator, YouTube's kalleanka71 apparently is a Swede who enjoys doing these kinds of mashups. And he does them very well. This is his latest (released Dec. 25). Others include Dallas, Airwolf, both a Rebel Alliance and Imperial version, and a head-asploding MacGyver that simply must be seen.

"EVERYTHING in your inventory now contributes towards something you actually WANT, and can build YOURSELF!" Valve declares."If you're super clever, you'll even be able to craft new items before others can earn them the old fashioned way."

The blog post links over directly to it; it can also be found by flipping through this newspaper portal. Which of course includes the funnies, and that means another manful episode of Saxton Hale. More on that in a bit.

Regarding crafting, players will get weapon blueprints (recipes listing items needed to build other weapons), some of them immediately, others will have to be earned or figured out by the players. So, no more swearing over which item was the most useless in your loadout. Just smelt it down to raw parts, follow the blueprint, and voila.

Now, regarding Mr. Hale. On page 5 of his comic, People have discovered a magic secret page that points to a page full of some more vintage comic-book spoof ads. Some readers have suggested that it might hint at future weapons and items. And no, I'm not talking about the bazooka used to murder Fred Astaire.

To get to the page, click on the words "poor monkey" here. Then you'll see that fake company Mann Co. is offering some commemorative plates honoring fake monkey astronaut "Poopy Joe," but its what they choose to depict that is so conspicuously intriguing.

• The PICKAXE Poopy Joe would have used to PIERCE the VAULT OF HEAVEN itself!

• The GIANT SWORD Poopy Joe would have used to fight off Soviet monkeynaut Vladimir Bananas! How do you like the taste of AMERICAN STEEL, comrade?

• The tiny BUGLE we gave him to blow on in case he got in trouble, so that we could launch ANOTHER MONKEY INTO SPACE to help him!

• If you order now, we'll include a bonus plate showing the EXPLOSION of his capsule. Try to imagine it reflected in the TEAR-STAINED EYE OF AN EAGLE!

So, three of these would have offensive purposes, and I'd guess a bugle could provide a kind of team buff effect. Again, this is nothing but speculation. The big news here is crafting. That definitely provides new items.

Also, note the rest of the ads on that page. Please do not staple a $550,000 check to a postcard addressed to Box 857 Saratoga N.J. Not only will you not, in fact, own Florida (man enough or no), you will probably not get any cool Mann Co. swag this time, because there is no such place as Saratoga, N.J. Your mail will be returned as undeliverable, provided someone doesn't cash the check first.

Weekend Update [TF2 Blog, thanks to all who sent this in]

Grand Theft Auto vs. Frogger [Gagfilms via CollegeHumor]

Anyway, a Mr. "serv-27zb4-1438184361@craigslist.org" is offering his services and his DJ Hero kit to rotate some tracks for your wedding party, using "'ACTIVISION DJ HERO and XBOX360' to mix blends and mash-ups of DANCE - CLASSIC ROCK - HIP HOP" - aka the usual shit you hear in the waiting lounge of a Jiffy Lube down in Fuquay.

The guy then quotes 21 songs off the DJ Hero tracklist. "Host must provide STANDARD TELEVISION SET and SPEAKERS!!" Thass right, bitches!!! No Hi-Def!!! We talkin' STANDARD. Also: "My setup is state of the art," even though you could tune a boom box to 107.5 out of Winston-Salem, Rock 92 from Asheboro or 102 Jamz ("It really, really does!") from Greensboro for the same effect.

His fee? Three hours for just $50 and the beef or chicken. But for $25 more, he'll close down the joint, be it Masonic lodge or Jaycee hut. Luckily, "Don't Cha" is also not on the tracklist, so you don't have to endure a bunch of 55-year-old broads pretending to be MILFs before the cake-cutting.

L@@K DJ for parties, weddings, business eventTAKE URPARTY2THE NEXT LVL (RTP, NC) [OH YEAH, via Destructoid.]

Collinsworth (as voiced by NYC comedian Rob Lathan) has to start out somewhere, so here he begins by calling the action for Intellivision's Rural New Mexico Six-on-Six Football NFL Football (and the later All-Pro Football, with the forward pass perfected by the Mattel LED handhelds years before).

Remember, "You've never lived until one of those clowns flips you upside down." It's a sound bite you hear 48 zillion times in the most mundane Madden NFL 10 game. It'd also take up 20 times the memory of one of these ROMs.

Collinsworth NFL 10 - Rated E for Effort [YouTube, thanks Ian V.]

That's because "this game is so wonderfully conducive to space assholism that there was little need to consciously sync it up." Obviously, the title of the song is part of its refrain, making this NSFW.

Yes, assholism. It's just as much a disease as cancer or emphysema. I too am an assholic; I go to ass-anon every Tuesday down at the Baptist church fellowship hall. You have any idea how hard it is waking up in the morning and your first thought is always "God, I hope it's past 1 pm because I need to go to the convenience store and be an asshole to someone"? How much further can I continue this metaphor? Anyway, just watch.

Space Asshole: The Video (Game) [Idle Thumbs]

Some eye-opening (and - for the irony-deficient - pranked) reviews for Pittsburgh's real Mercy Hospital started popping up a couple weeks back on Citysearch, beginning with "FrancisSilverman" under the heading, "I hate hospitals!"

You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests.
• Pros: I hate doctors!
• Cons: I'm getting tired of these damn vampires!

"WilliamOverbeck" followed with another one-star rating; "We blasted our way through hordes of zombies that had their rotten asses hanging out of the hospital gowns, only to find a zombie helicopter pilot on the roof!" And "LouisLuvsCounterStrikeNPillz" gave it a 2-star rating summarized with "awful. ...

"WHY THE HELL WERE THERE GUNS, MOLTOVS, PILLS, AND PIPEBOMBS IN A FREAKING HOSPITAL!!!!!" Louis complained. "SERIOUSLY DO YOU EXPECT YOUR CUSTOMERS TO KILL THEMSELVES?"

And it's not a party for the zombies, either. HunterPunter today called Mercy Hospital "a bad place ..."

This place was evil! I was just chilling here with by Smoker buddies then all of a sudden a bunch of surviving humans try to blow us to bits. I am NEVER coming here again...
• Pros: great place to chill after a zombie apocalypse
• Cons: survivors....

Perhaps the most comprehensive description of Mercy Hospital's infected awfulness comes from "Toshinden":

I went to this hospital to have my chronic headaches treated or at least diagnosed. Upon entering, I asked the receptionist for some help. Instead, she lept over the counter and started clawing at me. But there just happen to be some guns on the seats. I sadly had to kill her in self defense. Knowing the cops were soon to follow, I proceeded to go up. I wasn't thinking, just going up. On the way up, I had faced many disgruntled patients and workers. One patient was polite enough to vomit all over me. While I was blinded, his posse (i am assuming he is a gang leader of sorts) started running at me and beating me. After successfully escaping, my headaches have only gotten worse. After consuming large amounts of pills, I stumbled my way onto the roof, where a man possibly being treated for a steroid overdose was waiting for me. After tossing me off the building, I almost lost my life. I was thankfully recovered by some strange African American man claiming to have his pills. I am home safe now. But no amount of pills and medpacks will cure my emotional and physical pain.

• Pros: The pills were here.
• Cons: So was the tank.

At publication time, UPMC Mercy Hospital of Pittsburgh, a real health care facility, "the first hospital in Pittsburgh and the first Mercy Hospital in the world," with a record of care going back to 1847, has 10 one-star ratings out of 12 overall on Citysearch, thanks to Left 4 Dead.

Mercy Hospital, Pittsburgh, PA 15219 [Citysearch, thanks to Ryuji, who wins the weekend with this tip]

I totally would have cannonballed into that pile.

SEGA's Office Pranks [YouTube, big hat tip thanks to Nightwheel]

Old Crazy Topless Man Shows Off His Neo-Geo Collection [Destructoid]

This is perhaps the most glorious self-promotional thing I've ever seen a company do. Not only do they have the attitude down, the lyrics are pretty damn inventive too.

Every day is a fight, there's no room for bloopers
Bugs coming at us like in Starship troopers

And just when you think it can't get any better, Techno Viking shows up. I cried real tears.

I've gone ahead and included the full lyrics for the song below. Feel free to sing along, though if you're at work you might want to keep it down a bit - the language gets a bit rough.

Thanks to everyone who directed us to the clip! We owe you more than you will ever know.

Lyrics:
Intro
First off - let me make a short introduction
I'm the space 5.0, keeping EVE from destruction
Guard is the name, Lead master of the game
Top dog in the gamemaster hall of fame

Im chillin at my desk with two girls and one pimp cup
Sippin champagne, reading mails checkin what's up
Isk spamming scum bags disturbing the peace?
WOOP WOOP its the sound of space police!

Every day is a fight, there's no room for bloopers
Bugs coming at us like in Starship troopers
We help when we can, every child, every man
Treat the boogie man to a permanent ban!

CHORUS x2

We're CCP! We march on fearlessly!
Excellent is what we strive to be!

If you're going to follow us to the top

HARDEN THE FUCK UP!

You best watch out bitch if you're an exploiting scammer
Guard will gank you in the face with his big ban hammer
Remove all your Isk , throw your ass in the slammer
Make you share a cell with a manic ISK spammer

Like a never ending spam thread on racist biking
This song has something for everyone's liking
Holy shit I see local spiking

...ladies and gents, its techno Viking!

Chorus x2

Ever flowing - never standing still
We roll with the punches, move in for the kill
The competition ends up six feet in the ground
With fists full of awesome we go round after round

United we stand never ever growing weary
We cannot fall cause gravity is just a theory
We reach higher than the giants in operations
Patience soon well be crip walking in stations

We're more agile than a president dodging a shoe
We need three continents for our massive crew
From Atlanta to Shanghai to the Icelandic nation
Throw your hands up for World Domination!

Chorus

Grand Theft Auto Precinct [Atom.com via Destructoid]

EA Sports Creative Director Jason Barnes is obviously in on it. When Miller sees his low fighter skill rating and poor footwork attributes, he unleashes his F-bombs in everyone's general direction but goes after Barnes when he, in a quite choreographed way, tries to calm Miller down. Then Miller's in Hydar's face. "Did you f—-in do this?!" he

"No disrespect, no disrespect," says Hydar, the EA Sports head developer, using verbal judo straight from the manual of "How to Lose as Few Teeth as Possible in a Roid Rage Encounter." Miller then, fortunately, springs the joke and there's big manhugs to be had.

MMA Fighter Mayhem Miller Flips Out on EA Sports MMA Programmers [AllElbows.Com]

For my money, Tails' pitiful sycophancy is bested only by Mega Man's personality test disappointment. As someone who used to write Facebook personality tests (literally) I can vouch for their unscientific inaccuracy and overall irrelevance.

5 Video Game Status Updates [College Humor, thanks Ken]

The backstory: Joe W-A of Brisbane is a serious modder, working on this custom Left 4 Dead campaign, "Shotgun Sunrise." He's also pals with Newell. So Joe jokingly feigned disappointment that Newell didn't fly him up to Valve HQ to preview Left 4 Dead 2, which Valve did earlier for the leaders of the L4D2 boycott movement. Newell's joking reply was a "boycott" of Joe's campaign, and then the demand that Joe fly him and producer Erik Johnson to Australia if he wanted them to preview it.

Somehow, this premise netted more than $3,000 in donations through Saturday, when Joe announced the drive had breached its target. While he's offered to return donations should any of this be called off, the sum now is so serious that "I'm assuming you don't want refunds, and the money will go to either Gabe and Erik's flights or [the charity] Child's Play."

When he got about $500 in on the first day, Joe emailed Newell to ask for a price quote. Newell replied with a $1,211 figure on Qantas, connecting through L.A. "So Erik and I aren't too much in danger," Newell said. Not so fast, my friend.

So the ball is in Valve's court here. Whatever happens, we've all had a great laugh - some of Valve's employees even donated to the cause. And whether it ends with pictures of Gabe Newell and Erik Johnson in a 19-year-old modder's home across the Pacific Ocean, playing Left 4 Dead, or a handsome donation to a worthy cause, we can stamp "win" all over this.

Just Waiting on Gabe and Erik's Responses [Fly Gabe Newell]

The modder, Joe of Joe's Modding Menagerie, is putting together a campaign for Left 4 Dead (pictured, above. Note the "I miss Twitter" graffiti.) He's apparently friendly enough with Newell that the Valve managing director answers his emails. He's even autographed a prop graphics card. But Joe felt snubbed by the corrupting/co-opting/olive branch offering to the Left 4 Dead 2 boycott leaders, and sent Newell this email with the header "I think you just opened up a can of worms: Why the hell haven't I been flown to Valve? I mean, you guys need to preview my campaign."

Newell's arch reply: "We are boycotting your campaign."

Playing shocked, Joe asks if that means he has to fly Newell to Brisbane for him to preview the mod. Newell ups the ante. "Me and Erik [Johnson, Valve project manager]," he answers, cc'd to Johnson.

So what's left to be done? Boycott a boycott? Two of those won't make a right here. Instead, Joe has begun a fund drive to collect enough money to fly both down to Brisbane to test out his campaign. A ticket from Seattle to Brisbane runs about $1,000, U.S. Joe has $6 (Australian) in donations so far.

Update: Couple things here.

1) This is all a big gag, although the donation total is up to $375.75, with $100 of that coming from Valve's Robin Walker, who writes: "This is Robin Walker, from Valve. The rest of us at Valve would sure appreciate a couple of days without Erik around, so thanks for organising this! Quick question though: if I donated more, would you buy a one-way ticket for him?" So who knows where this is headed.

2) Nobody is pissed at anyone. It's clearly a parody of the rush to boycott things that displease you in games. Although I do acknowledge that my aside "Or was anyway," commenting on Joe's good terms with Gabe, carried not enough of an ironic tone and created confusion for some that Joe really is PO'd. He's not. So that's why I edited the lede. Everyone's having a good time.

Fly Gabe Newell [Blogspot]