Treasure's classic shoot 'em up Ikaruga has a simple premise. Turn your ship white, become immune to white attacks. Turn your ship black, become immune to black attacks. The casual onlooker would say the premise sounded simple. The seasoned Ikaruga player would say the premise sounded deceptively simple.

So the question isn't should you play Ikaruga if you haven't. The question is, should you play Ikaruga on XBLA, or should you hunt down a Gamecube or Dreamcast version. Hit the jump for our Frankenreview to find out: it's Ikarugalicious.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Honestly, I don't get it. It's not that I didn't play the hell out of the last Smash Bros. title. It's just that, as far as I've been concerned, Nintendo only has so many throw-backs to nostalgia left in them—like a band that keeps releasing greatest hits collections...without putting out any new records.

But after double-checking with the critics, it appears that I'm definitely in the minority. So hit the jump for our Frankenreview on Super Smash Bros. Brawl—what is pretty much a 5-chapter review of a fanboy wet dream.

EA's Army of Two has had a rough road to release. A title focused on co-op mercenary missions to extents of borderline innovation, its tongue-in-cheek, adolescent play on private contractor military presence in the current world has been mistaken by many for a poor attempt at humor with no greater punchline than a well-timed fart.

So what did the critics think of Army of Two? Hit the jump for our Frankenreview on the game—what is inarguably the leading meta review system on Kotaku today.

Remember the Devil May Cry series? It came on the scene as an almost slap in the face to the survival horror genre, offering a silver-haired character Dante that scoffed at the occasional monster and any bullet count under infinity.

But it's been 7 years since the first game's incarnation, and Dante has been subverted by a remarkably similar looking chap sporting a glowy blue arm. So how does the series hold up? Hit the jump for our Frankenreview of Devil May Cry 4—because the suspense is killing you.

2007 has been a crazy awesome year for gamers. While during years gone by we've all fallen prey to too much hype and not enough...what's that word again...fun, the most unexpected part of 2007 was that it lived up to our unreasonably high expectations.

So hit the jump for our Frankenreview, victory lap 2007 edition. We pulled reviewers' top rated games* from Game Rankings to relive some of our best moments from the year.

Note, on repeat games, we picked the higher ranking platform.

NiGHTS fans have been waiting for a proper sequel to the Dreamcast cult classic for some time now. Sega's attempt to capitalize on Sonic's ring collection mania in a more robust 3D world, NiGHTS was a landmark game for the era.

Now NiGHTS has come back to the masses on the Wii in NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. So does its predecessor live up to expectations? Hit the jump for our Frankenreview: every thing you need to know about everything that is this one particular game.

Merry Christmas early, friends (or happy Hanukkah late). Because today is a double frankenreview day. Oh yes. And we aren't charging a penny more for the privilege. Epic's Unreal Tournament 3 and what's sorta Valve's The Orange Box have both hit first on other platforms. But now that they're on the PlayStation 3, gamers can experience them like never before. Or something. So hit the jump to see what the critics said about two AAA shooters sure to steal sleep, companionship and many weekends from us all.

With the lackluster releases this week, and considering the reviewers were a bit behind on this title, I figured, what the hell, let's do a Franken on Geometry Wars: Galaxies for the NIntendo DS. The promise of a pocketable version of one of the most addictive arcade titles in recent history alone would have been great. But since Galaxies DS provides a whole universe (OK, maybe just several galaxies worth) of entertainment, we have high expectations for this little portable.

So how was it? Hit the jump for our Frankenreview and find out: 5 muffin tops ready for ingestion.

From the beginning, Naughty Dog's Uncharted: Drakes Fortune could go either way. We'd seen the Indiana Jones with guns concept before—many times—with a much more fulfilling cup size. And besides, the game's on the PS3, and we all know the difficult platform requires daily goat sacrifices just for the dev kits to load for developers. Ratchet & Clank, Heavenly Sword—anomalies!

But Uncharted ended up being pretty good after all. Hit the jump for our Frankenreview: the full story on Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. Well, not the full story. We're not spoiling the game or anything. Or will we...

While most of us have enjoyed teabagging Hitler throughout the various incarnations of FPSs for some time now, it's refreshing to know that Call of Duty 4 has finally ditched WWII in favor of more "modern warfare." You know, bigger guns, less scrupulous causes and, of course, night vision goggles.

So hit the jump for our Frankenreview of COD4—the only review you'll ever need of the game before deciding, yes, it's a must-play and, no, you're never joining the Armed Forces.

A war is brewing. Just as Man fights over the superiority of various football teams, cars, female hair colors and brand of fiber supplement, so too will Man fight over whether Guitar Hero is a better series than Rock Band.

While Rock Band won't be on store shelves for a few weeks, we do have at least 50% of the equation to ignite the flame wars. So hit the jump for our Frankenreview of the Harmonixless Guitar Hero III—all the answers to all of life's problems in five short paragraphs.

You already know the game is awesome. Because McWhertor and I proclaimed it as such. And we did about a hundred hands on impressions with the game—none of them wasted, mind you. But now that Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction has been officially poked and prodded by the perverted scientists that are game reviewers, you can have numerical confirmation for what we already suspected.

So hit the jump for our Frankenreview; this week we did something special and only included reviewers that had "game" or some amalgamation of such in the title. That's for you, Insomniac. Live it up.

We're just outside of Tokyo, Flynn and I, taking a day after TGS to explore Kamakura—a city famous for its temples, and of course, the Great Buddha. After a spontaneous, mislead and treacherous hike through the deserted wilderness, we pop out on the side of a busy street loaded with bus caravans. We'd arrived at the Great Buddha.

And when we finally laid our eyes on the 93 ton, 700+ year-old statue Flynn said, "Never in my life did I think I'd see this. I remember rolling it up in Katamari..." It was a special moment.

Hit the jump for our Frankenreview on Beautiful Katamari for the Xbox 360: every review you ever need on a game from a franchise famous for rolling up the Great Buddha.

Since the last scene of the GameCube's Wind Waker, we've been craving cel-shaded Link at the lust level we generally reserve for booze, pantsu and headshots. So his triumphant return in The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass for the DS had us...how can we put this gently...playing the DS without a stylus.

So hit the jump for our Frankenreview on the newest Zelda title—offering almost enough time savings for you to finish school, get a job, become rich, buy the game and retire early to play it—because you don't need to click around and fight all the ads.

Halo 3. It's Microsoft's trump card. Their ultimate attack. Their nuclear fusion kamehameha. And it's everywhere. More than any game that's come before, Halo 3 has transcended the cult borders of simple videogame launch to a full-fledged popular culture entertainment monster attack. But is the hype the fair response to Bungie's sweat or the product of Microsoft's mega-funded PR machine?

Hit the jump for our Frankenreview on Halo 3: you know, finish the reading.

Lair took a really bad beating last week, breaking the hearts of PS3 fanboys around the world. But it would be OK because there was another Chosen One that Sony had been flaunting for months: Ninja Theory's Heavenly Sword. We nicknamed it Goddess of War during E306, but even with the its chainsword-driven action, the game seems to have blossomed into its own entity at this point—for the good or the bad.

So hit the jump for our Frankenreview: the one review that will dictate whether or not the PS3 is good for something other than big screen porn. That is, if you don't consider a beautiful redhead kicking royal ass in skimpy clothing to be some logical extension of pornography.