Kotaku: flackery

Feel the Magic Shirt, Finally

Brian Crecente — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 09:45:30 MST

Alice Lee heard my pleas and (after a proposterously long wait) decided to do something about it. Back in 2004, seriously, 2004, I pleaded with Sega for come out with a Feel the Magic goldfish shirt. Did they listen? Nooooo. But Alice did, and after giving Sega pa-lenty of time to do their own marketing, she decided to create her own goldfish shirt.

Thanks Alice, I'll be ordering mine today.

Goldfish Shirt [Spreadshirt]

Gran Turismo 4 Launches with Free Gas

Brian Crecente — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 09:09:13 MST

Gran Turismo 4 launched with much fanfare this week. The ultimate driving simulator for the PS2 hit coast-to-coast but still managed to miss my mailbox. Besides the game just plain rocking, one of the coolest things about the release was a neat little publicity stunt Sony pulled in California. The publisher offered up free gas and play time with GT4 at a local gas station Tuesday morning. Despite my predictions of super long lines, it looks like things went pretty smoothly. Had I known they were going to have hot pit stop crews I would have made some effort to get someone out there.

Gran Turismo 4 [Sony]

Resident Evil 4 Top Game

Brian Crecente — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 08:00:25 MST

Nintendo manages to stay in the top ten with titles from all of their platforms through January.

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap for the GBA SP took the overall number three spot, Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memory took number nine and Super Mario 64 for the DS held number ten.

The top title of the month was the surprisingly gory Resident Evil 4 with it's over-the-top horror action and intense cut scenes. It's no surprise that Nintendo is trumping Resident Evil 4 to anyone who will listen, this game landed 30 perfect reviews and another 55 reviewers gave it a 90 percent. I can see that, I haven't officially reviewed it, but if I did I'd probably hand it something in the 90s.

Resident Evil 4 Hacks its Way to the Top [Nintendo]

The Guy Who Lived in a Super Monkey Ball

Brian Crecente — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 11:35:40 MST

I love the new viral campaign for Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. It's a series of short videos titled The True Adventures of Chad, The Guy Who Was So Into Super Monkey Ball Deluxe That He Decided To Live In Ball. It's about this college student named Chad who well I don't want to ruin it for you. I do love the theme song, it's kinda short and goes something like this:

The true adventures of Chad,
a guy who was so into,
Super Monkey Ball Deluxe,
that he decided to live in a ball.

It's catchy, so catchy.

The True Adventures [My Big Ball]

Gran Turismo 4 Gives You Gas

Brian Crecente — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 13:32:11 MST

On Feb. 22, Sony Computer Entertainment America will be giving out free gas at a Van Nuys MOBIL gas station, on the corner of Sherman Way and Sepulveda, from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. People willing to brave the lines will be greeted by a Gran Turismo pit crew, who will fill tanks, wash windows, and give gamers a chance to check out Gran Turismo 4 at racing kiosks set-up at the station. And it s all free. Don t ever say I didn t give you anything.

9/11 as Game Ad

Brian Crecente — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 11:45:57 MST

OK, tell me honestly: Did a chill run down your spine when you watched the video linked below? The footage of a plane silently drifting toward the British Parlimentary building on Feb. 11 2005 may be a clever marketing campaign for Atari s Act of War, but it s also a bit of a visual gut-punch to everyone who saw the planes slamming into the twin towers on the real Sept. 11. Marketing gone too far, or something edgy enough to get you to buy a new war game? Let me know.

Ed's Note: I originally thought this video was dated Sept. 11, but even with a Feb. date it's still freaky.

How Safe Are We? [Atari, via PackRatShow]

Dress Up Like a Monkey and Win...Um...Stuff

Brian Crecente — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 12:25:02 MST

If you re willing to part with all self-respect for a chance at winning a mystery prize, have I got a contest for you. All you have to do is print out a giant pair of monkey ears and then have someone take a picture of you making an ass of yourself for publishing on Sega s Super Monkey Ball DX website. On March 31, Sega will randomly draw the names of 50 Europeans and give them um something. They don t seem to mention what the actual prize is, but its gotta be great to inspire people to take big-eared pictures of themselves, right?

Super Monkey Ball DX Contest [SMBD]

Bounty Hunters Apply at Nintendo

Brian Crecente — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 06:19:36 MST

It never ceases to amaze me just how stupid people are. I mean, besides me and you. When Nintendo kicked off a little viral marketing campaign for Metroid Prime 2 by placing a fake ad for a bounty hunter on Monster.com more than 90 people applied for the position. And I don t mean people screwing around, I mean 90 honest to God bounty hunters. The ad was obviously a fake, requiring that candidates have experience operating in subterranean, low-oxygen, zero-gravity environments. Many of the applicants were of the highly armed, not so highly intelligent variety.

Within the first day of posting the job, we had several replies from real applicants who seriously wanted to be an intergalactic bounty hunter for a living. The skills and experience these people listed went beyond surprising into the realm of frightening.

Bounty Hunter Job Posting [Game Daily]

The Getaway: Black Monday's Free Pony And Trap

Brian Crecente — Fri, 14 Jan 2005 00:36:51 MST

One of the best things about being a game journalist, besides all of that money, fame and women, is the schwag. I m not talking free games, because that s sort of pedestrian. No, I m talking Ratchet & Clank underwear, City of Heroes capes and Mario pens. Sony just dropped a new favorite on me to kick off the release of The Getaway: Black Monday.

Packed in with a copy of the game was a pint glass with a series of Getaway phrases written on the back corresponding to different levels of liquid. It also came with a cool little Learn to Speak Getaway A to Z Guidebook. Here s a taste:

Where s the karzy? I m dying for a gypsy s.
Where are the bathrooms? I need to urinate.

Cheer up or I ll give you a Chelsea Smile.
Smile or I ll cut your face from ear to ear.

Mop your chevy up; you re getting claret all over the boot of my car.
Your face is bleeding all over my car trunk.

Anymore gyp and you ll be drinkin a petrol shandy.
Stop annoying me or I ll force gasoline down your throat.

I m gonna use your bullocks for snooker balls.
I intend to use your gonads for sporting apparatus.

Official Site [The Getaway: Black Monday]

PS2 Blows Away Nintedo 64

Brian Crecente — Fri, 07 Jan 2005 00:18:48 MST

Is it just me or do experts start to crawl out of the woodwork when something like CES or E3 blows into town? Tony Fair, the director of strategy and lifestyle expert for AMPdi, sent Kotaku along some thoughts on PSP s showing at CES and its chances at future success. He says that the CES fanfare will absolutely translate into sales. Then he proceeds to shoot his credibility in the foot, leg and head:

Sony blew away Nintendo 64 with PlayStation2 and the PSP will blow away the Nintendo DS.

Yeah, and the PS2 also kicked the Atari 2600 s ass.

Amp Agency [AMP]

Feel the Merchandising

Brian Crecente — Fri, 31 Dec 2004 10:38:16 MST

How many times do I need to ask for a Feel the Magic goldfish shirt before someone breaks down and tells me how to get one? The latest insult to my pathetic need for this bit of merchandising is Sega s other Feel the Magic crap that they are now selling to promote the bizarre Nintendo DS game. You can pick up a mug that changes pictures with heat, a beach towel, a watch and even a DS case, but still no goldfish shirt. What the hell!

Sega Direct [Sega]

Pay To Be in a Crap Game

Brian Crecente — Mon, 27 Dec 2004 00:00:25 MST

I kind of dug the Stargate movie, and the TV show was pretty good back when it was on Showtime. I can put up with the Sci-Fi version of Stargate SG-1, but Stargate Atlantis is just beating the crap out of a dead horse. And for every over-played, under-written television franchise there has to be a computer game. The Austrian makers of Stargate SG-1 The Alliance are trying to drum up a little attention by auctioning off a chance to become a character in what looks to be a craptacular game. Bids have already topped $2,000. I think I d pay that much to not be in the game.

Enter the Stargate! [eBay]

Anti-game governor's web site backfires

Brian Crecente — Mon, 20 Dec 2004 10:37:28 MST

File this under lessons learned, if you do public relations for a governor: Always check the .com and .org sites before you start handing out an address. Last week the governor of Illinois announced a crusade against violent and sexually explicit video games. To help bolster his point of view the state s school officials pointed parents to a web site set up to promote the governor s new initiative. Problem is, they pointed to the wrong address. When parent s went to www.safegamesillinois.com they found a site attacking the governor s idea and links to pages on Amazon.com that let you buy the sorts of games the governor wants to put the kibosh on. The real site is www.safegamesillinois.org. Fortunately for the governor, the .com site is a mature attack on his position and not a bunch of pictures of him playing patty-cake with a Norwegian stripper dressed-up like a very naughty teacher.

Illinois governor s Web plan backfires [UPI]

Yet another Hauiku contest

Brian Crecente — Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:01:55 MST

OK, I admit it. I m a closet Haikuphile. You probably should have figured it out after I insisted on writing a Nintendo Haiku contest. But don t blame yourself, the onus is on me. No, seriously the ONUS is on me: Get it off! Get it off!
Annnnyway, I ve found yet another excuse to write about Haikus. The folks at indy game developer Large Animal Games just launched their very own Haiku contest and already have spurred four horrendously bad attempts at traditional Japanese poetry.

Large Animal Games,
Please stop the insanity.
Just pick a winner.

December s Flying Ape Giveaway [Large Animal Games]

Sega hits McDonald's

Brian Crecente — Fri, 03 Dec 2004 08:38:49 MST

Sonic the Hedgehog will be showing up in Happy Meals starting tomorrow. I m psyched, especially since they don t mean he s going to be slapped between two sesame seed buns and wrapped up in one of those greasy bits of yellow paper. The Happy Meals will feature eight new handheld games based on the plucky, blue rodent. If you find one of the 2,500 silver toys you could win $2,500 cash to buy the ultimate gaming system.

Sega Happy Meals [McDonald s]

Metroid Prime 2: Echoes haiku contest

Brian Crecente — Wed, 01 Dec 2004 00:33:26 MST

Seriously, there s no way this is a coincidence: Nintendo is giving away $3,750 in prizes to the person who enters the best haiku poem about Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. A haiku expert will judge the winner. The contest kicked off three weeks after I wrote my very first Haiku review for the GameCube first-person shooter. I ve got one thing to say to all of you Haiku review naysayers...um, okay, I can t think of anything clever. But consider yourself chastised.

Haiku [Nintendo Haiku contest]

Sony launches Playstation channel

Brian Crecente — Mon, 29 Nov 2004 09:26:52 MST

Sony is launching a 10-minute a day online TV channel that it likes to call a holiday for the mind, but I like to call an ad. The show will run from 4:25 p.m. to 4:35 p.m. and started its ad run on Nov. 26.

FourTwentyFive [425]

Attack of the Mutant Artificial Trees : The video game

Brian Crecente — Mon, 29 Nov 2004 08:36:41 MST

Wood is good and I m not just talking morning wood, I m talking the kind you hang ornaments from. The National Christmas Tree Association has a corny little game that has you taking out robotic artificial Christmas trees bent on canceling the holiday season. I m not making this shit up. Between the rounds of tossing snowballs at angry fake trees an elf pops up and says things like Nothing says Christmas like a real tree and Wood is good. Yes it is, yes it is.

Attack of the Mutant Artificial Trees [Kewlbox via Water Cooler Games]

Vietcong Purple Haze billboard banned

Brian Crecente — Wed, 24 Nov 2004 14:27:28 MST

The race to create the most obnoxious ad campaign for a Vietnam video game may have a new leader. Take2 had to pull down their Vietcong Purple Haze billboard in the UK after seven people complained to the Advertising Standards Authority. The billboard featured a big picture of a solider standing in the jungle over the quote: Napalm never smelt this good. That s subtle. How about just: Buy this game and you can napalm the clothes of 9-year-old children?

Vietname Playstation advert banned [BBC News]

Gamers still enjoy SNES, Nintendo 64

Brian Crecente — Mon, 22 Nov 2004 13:36:53 MST

A big chunk of video game players are way the hell behind the times. New marketing research shows that one out of every three gamers gets their rocks off with a PSOne, Nintendo 64 or Super Nintendo. For God's sake, what are they playing? Rock, Paper, Scissors: Immortal Kombat.

Old Systems Still the Apple of Your Eye? [eToychest]