Kotaku: Final Fantasy VII

Square Enix Releases Final Fantasy VII... Snowboarding?!

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:00:00 MST

Today Japanese cell phone games are little better, because today Square Enix is releasing Final Fantasy VII: Snowboarding. Priced at ¥315 (US$3), the game is available on carrier DoCoMo's FOMA 703i/902i series handsets. The mini-game has three levels of difficulty and one level of awesome. Screw that rumored FFVII PS3 remake, Square Enix needs to put this snowboarding on the Nintendo DS and pronto! Screens of Cloud snowboarding with balloons below. No, really. It's not April First. We already checked several times.

スクエニ、iモード「ファイナルファンタジーVII スノーボーディング」 [Game Watch]

Want To Work For Square Enix? Write Fan-Fiction

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 21:00:00 MST

No doubt, this will be a dream job for some. Square Enix is looking for a localizer to, as the job listing explains, "edit and proofread in-game text and voice scripts for large-scale video game projects," "copy-edit promotional materials, manuals, and various sell text," and "work with translation staff to ensure style consistency across multiple titles."

Though the position is based in Tokyo, Japanese language proficiency is not a requirement — but an obvious plus. Here's the kicker: Square Enix is asking applicants to submit resumes and an imaginative essay:

Required Documents
Creative writing assignment

Topic:
You are a character from a Square Enix game who has been magically teleported to Japan. Using the language of the position for which you are applying, write a short story about your adventures in this new land. The story must be 800-1000 words in Chicago Manual style.

* There are no topic or setting restrictions.
* We will not answer any questions regarding the assignment.

Talk about a Pandora's Box! Square Enix, brace yourself for the inevitable flood of heavy breathing yaoi Cloud — Sephiroth fan-fiction.

Localize Editor [Square Enix via giapet]

Old Snake, Sephiroth Get Sackboyed For LittleBigPlanet

Michael McWhertor — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:00:10 MDT

Kratos and Nariko aren't the only PlayStation properties getting the Sackboy treatment. Sony has announced at Tokyo Game Show that Sacks based on Old Snake from Metal Gear Solid 4 and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII will join the line-up of playable mascots in LittleBigPlanet. Looks like the relationships between Sony, Konami and Square Enix are still somewhat cozy. More details to come, but we have a quick question: who else just peed a little?

TGS 08: Sackboy Solid Snake and Sephiroth to join LittleBigPlanet [PlayStation.blog]

Peter Molyneux Is All About The PS3 Digs

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:00:00 MDT

Two birds, one stone! Peter Molyneux chats up how he was impressed by Final Fantasy VII and how he's not so impressed (so far) with the PLAYSTATION 3. According the Microsoft employee:

I always remember back to Final Fantasy VII, when I first played FFVII, that to me defined the genre... Those were the 'oh my god' moments, I don't believe they exist. I haven't seen many of those on the PS3.

But have you seen many of those on the Xbox 360, Peter? He adds: "This is very much me as a gamer talking, not as an industry spokesman. I've got a PS3, a Wii and a 360, I've got just about everything." Just like when Molyneux said that the PS3 was waiting for its "defining title".

Molyneux: 'FFVII, that to me defined the genre' [VideoGamer]

Best Buy Advertising Final Fantasy VII PS3

Mike Fahey — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 08:20:00 MDT

We've seen this sign popping up over the weekend on the internets, and now reader and Best Buy employee Boomy (possibly a pseudonym) sends this snap from his iPhone of a coming soon sign misprint that is set to disappoint a lot of people come August 16th. At least we assume that this is a misprint. Either that, or Square Enix has developed Apple-levels of secrecy over the past few years...somehow I doubt it.

It's just odd that such a screw-up would occur with nothing even vaguely FF-related coming out this month. Disgaea 3 ships on the 18th, and while for some of us that is more exciting than a FFVII remake, I can't see some hapless sign-monkey mixing the two of them up. Odd.

FFVII Director On Chances Of A Remake

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 02 May 2008 05:00:00 MDT

Yes, yes. Japan wants a Final Fantasy VII remake. Maybe you want a remake, too. This we know! But is it possible? Well, of course, it's possible. But what are the chances of it actually happening any time soon? Square Enix's Yoshinori Kitase, director of the original FFVII, says:

My feelings are that if a remake were to work well then all the core members of the original team must be reassembled, all the artists and designers.

The problem is that, although all of us have an idea of what a remake should be and how to do it, organising such a thing right now is logistically very difficult. All the different members are now involved in very new, very large projects like Final Fantasy XIII and those projects are going to take a while.

Maybe, when all those games are finished then we can look at doing something like that.

Of course, that said we came up with the idea for Crisis Core in just two days. It was a case of 'this is what we want to do, so let's do it'. So, you can definitely expect the probability of something spontaneous happening at some point, but it's hard to predict.

With the remake-happy way Square Enix is going these days, you can bet there's eventually going to be a FFVII. Reassuring to know that Kitase wants to do it in-house with the original team.
Kitase Interview [Bit-Tech]

What Games Some Japanese People Want Remade

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 02 May 2008 01:00:00 MDT

No surprises here! None at all! Japan's Dengeki Online polled a few of its readers, asking "Which video game do you want remade?" The results are:

1. Final Fantasty VII

2. Xenogears

3. Seiken Densetsu 3

4. Romancing Saga 3

5. Tactics Ogre

Holy shit! Japanese people really like FF VII. Did not know that. Hit the jump for the rest, along with other thrilling data.

6. Megami Ibunroku Perusona

7. Final Fantasy IX

8. Romancing SaGa 3

9. Saga Frontier

10. Wild Arms 2

Which platforms do they want the remakes to appear on? In order of popularity: PSP, PS3, PS2, DS, Wii and Xbox 360.

The biggest factor polled Dengeki readers would take into account was "improved graphics." That's usually how they do it!
Dengeki Remake Poll [Dengeki Online via Alafista]

Halo, Gears of War, Final Fantasy VII Characters on PS3

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:00:20 MDT

Thank Unreal Tournament III, UTIII mods and a UTIII mod-friendly PS3! These mods were brought to us by the folks at UT.PS3, so kudos to them for cooking them up. Still waiting patiently for the long overdue Mario UTIII mod. Make it happen!

UTIII Mods [GameTrailes Forums]

Watch NES Final Fantasy VII With Your Human Eyes

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:40:27 MST

You've seen the NES Final Fantasy VII screens, now watch the clip. The game has the storyline for the multi-disc PlayStation epic crammed onto a NES cartridge. Unofficial, yes, but officially awesome.

NES FFVII [Insert Credit]

FFVII On NES Is A Triumph Of The Human Spirit

Luke Plunkett — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:30:00 MST

A little while ago, the Shenzhen Nanjing Technology Company released Final Fantasy VII. On the NES. Totally unofficially, of course, but also totally, officially awesome. Sure, the game eschews Chocobo racing, limit breaks and even Yuffie and Vincent, but this being a NES cart, casualties are to be expected. What does make it in there are the other six characters and almost the entire main storyline of the multi-disc PlayStation epic, an achievement I have no hesitation in labelling Herculean. Since you'll never own nor play this, you can check out some screens here, with well over 100 more at the link below.

From polygons to pixels: Final Fantasy VII [Cinnamon Pirate]

Crisis Core Pre-orders Can Net You Geeky ...

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 18:40:00 MST

Crisis Core Pre-orders Can Net You Geeky Goodies. If you're willing to drop the cash on a copy of the PSP entry in the "Compilation of Final Fantasy VII", you could walk away with some attractive plastic. This Shin-Ra Electric Power Company UMD case is yours for the stuffing, should you pre-order Crisis Core from Amazon, GameCrazy, GameStop or EBGames. Surely limited in the tens of thousands, so act early.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl Storyline Penned By Final Fantasy VII Writer

Michael McWhertor — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:40:50 MST

In the latest "Iwata Asks" column, Super Smash Bros. Brawl lead Masahiro Sakurai tells the Nintendo president more about the game's single player storyline. He also reveals that the man behind the "Subspace Emissary" plot is none other than Kazushige Nojima, scenario writer for Final Fantasy VII. Nojima, also responsible for the scenarios behind games such as Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy X, didn't exactly have the deepest plot in mind when Sakurai approached him about the project.

Nojima's story, if you can call it that, went like this, says Sakurai "Some of the characters are on a bus on the way to the stadium. Samus is there. Donkey Kong is there and Snake is watching the bus from afar." Yeah. Two buses. That's why Nojima gets paid the big bucks, folks.

Fortunately, that idea has since changed to something with a more serious tone. More laughter filled interviewing awaits you.

Iwata Asks, Vol. 4: The Subspace Emissary [Wii.com]

My Little Pony, Cloud Pony

Mike Fahey — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:20:22 MST

Who is going to save the land of Catz 2 for the Wii from the wrath of the Sephiroth of wolves? Who will stand up to his house-splodey, animal crazy-making ways? How about a pretty pony who thought he was a soldier but turned out to be living the life of his dead best friend? This custom My Little Pony figure comes complete with spiky blond hair and Advent Children sweater outfit, complete with the lion emblem dealiebob. The creator has him up on eBay right now, with a $45 starting bid and no bidders as of yet. You have four days to decide exactly how much of a Final Fantasy VII fan you are. Once you buy a custom Pony there ain't no going back.

Cloud Strife Final Fantasy VII Custom My Little Pony [eBay - Thanks Brian!]

Final Fantasy VII 10th Anniversary Potion [Update]

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 22:00:56 MDT

This morning's power breakfast was one slice of toast and one can of Final Fantasy Potion. Once again, Square Enix has teamed with Osaka beverage maker Suntory to create a "potion" promotion to promote FF. This time around, the drink is for the tenth anniversary of Final Fantasy VII.

Last year's endeavor tasted somewhere between repulsive and repugnant. Undrinkable! How about this year's? Not so bad. The FFVII Potion tastes like a watered down version of another Suntory drink, Dekavita C. For those who have never had Dekavita C, it has a heavy medicinal flavor with a hint of citrus. From what I remember, Dekavita C is actually green, while FFVII Potion is yellow.

Final verdict: The drink itself is a definite improvement over the previous effort. Do know that I am used to drinking those so-called Japanese "genki drinks." (These are medicinal type energy drinks sold in Japan.) The art on the can is well done and does look nice. Though, a silver can does have a Pavlov's dog effect in that I can only think of one thing: Silver canned beer like Asahi Super Dry or Coors Light.

Eds Note: Witzbold sent along this Tifa can for you to gaze it. So, gaze on!

Drink Up New Final Fantasy Potion CM

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 06:00:32 MDT

Guy with big hair leaves his giant sword at the door, walks into a convenience store, buys Final Fantasy VII Potion and recharges his power. Whoever he is, we bet even he thinks FF Potion is absolutely repugnant.

The Japanese Cosplay Better Than You

Mike Fahey — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 10:00:50 MDT

I might never be able to go to a U.S. anime convention again. The cosplayers in Japan are making fools of you people here. It's embarrassing. Check out this Sephiroth, taken from GayGamer.net's TGS cosplay gallery. Look at how that outfit sits on this girl. Hell, even the wig looks halfway decent, which is extremely hard to do with silver hair. Are her eyebrows powdered silver as well? Damn. You just don't get that level of dedication around these parts. Most American cosplay makes me giggle. Japanese cosplay makes me begin to understand this whole Cloud and Sephiroth kissing thing the girls seem to like so much.

TGS 07: Cosplay Gallery [GayGamer.net]

Voices Of The Lifestream

Mike Fahey — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 08:20:08 MDT

Final Fantasy VII: Voices of the Lifestream is a massive labor of love. It's a 45 track musical tribute to Final Fantasy VII, featuring the work of 42 different remixers and spanning almost ever genre of music imaginable. Produced by Andrew Aversa, Voices is the 9th album release from OverClocked ReMix, in my opinion on of the internet's best sources for video game music. The music is broken up into 4 discs, each with a theme matching a Final Fantasy VII universe release: Crisis Core, Dirge of Cerberus, Advent Children, and Last Order. The album's web page lets you download individual tracks or the whole shebang in a giant 2.32GB torrent. I've downloaded a couple of songs while the torrent is running, and what I've heard so far of the compilation is truly amazing. It always amazes me how some of the best musicians I know wind up remixing video game music. Hit the link below to listen for yourself!

Final Fantasy VII: Voices of the Lifestream, An OverClocked ReMix Album [OCRemix]

Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core Goes on Sale

Brian Ashcraft — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 06:40:54 MDT

How's this for a shocker? Today, the limited edition Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core bundle went on sale in Japan. There are 77,777 of these packs which include a FFVII CC PSP, the game and some other stuff. Anyway! It went on sale, loads of people lined up (like over 300), and it "sold out." Boy, Japan sure likes its FF, just like those Americans like their Madden. And that new PSP? Sexy! Blah, blah, blah.

Though, foreign people like FF, too! See that guy in the above Famitsu pic? I've met him! He seems like an alright dude, and there he is on the Famitsu front page. Almost as exciting as the time Fahey was in Famitsu. See, that's somewhat interesting even if some Final Fantasy PSP game selling out in Japan isn't.

FFCC on sale [Famitsu]

This Fall, Drink FFVII Crap in Tinnies

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 05:00:00 MDT

The best thing about last year's Final Fantasy potion was not the potion. The potion was gross. The best thing was the blue bottle it came in! This October, the FF Potion is back, but those blue bottles are gone. (There is a special phallic one, though!) Partnering with beverage maker Suntory, Square Enix is releasing Final Fantasy VII Potion in tin cans that feature character artwork. Collectible tin cans! That's sooooooo early 1990's. There's also cans bundled with TRADING ARTS mini figures out in November; these cans will have slightly different art. Still, they are tin cans! And tin cans are blergh.

FF Stuff [IT Media]

Kaz Hirai Says the "Best" Is Yet to Come

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 03:00:02 MDT

To celebrate ten years of Final Fantasy VII and stir longings for a FFVII remake, Square Enix held a Final Fantasy VII 10th Anniversary Gallery in Tokyo. The exhibition is on display until September 2nd in the Spiral Garden and features original art and illustrations for Final Fantasy VII and its spin-offs. Sony Computer Entertainment honcho Kaz Hirai was also in appearance and wrote an English note on the message board (above), which reads:

Congratulations on 10 fantastic years! The best is yet to come

If by "best," he means more spin-offs, then no thanks. But if he means "best" by a big ol' FFVII remake, then I just might agree. Though, he could be talking about FFXIII or just in general. Who knows? Kaz does!

FFVII Anniversary [Game Watch Impress]

A Human Back's Worth of Sephiroth

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 23:00:30 MDT

As far as villains go, Final Fantasy VII's Sephiroth is a pretty bad dude. So, by that rational, COVERING YOUR ENTIRE BACK with him would make you a pretty bad dude, too. Even if you have love handles.
Full Sephiroth [BBPS]

Final Fantasy VII

Brian Crecente — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 13:00:25 MDT

Gametrailer's latest episode of their Final Fantasy retrospective examines Final Fantasy VII and Square's jump from Nintendo to the Playstation. A exclusive deal that lasted seven years.

Final Fantasy VII Anniversary Gallery

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:00:25 MDT

Get out your hairgel! To mark ten years of Final Fantasy VII, Square Enix is rolling out a special exhibition for all to gape at. Take note Tokyo readers, the FINAL FANTSY VII 10th ANNIVERSARY Gallery will run from August 31 to September 2nd at Aoyama's Spiral Garden. It will feature illustrations and original images from Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, Before Crisis -Final Fantasy VII-, Crisis Core -Final Fantasy VII- and Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII. See, Square Enix doesn't just make a lot of Final Fantasy games, it makes a lot of Final Fantasy VII games! If you're Aoyama, might as well swing by. The exhibit is totally free, and that's totally cool.
FFVII Exhibit [Famitsu]

Comic Con Cosplay Cornucopia

Michael McWhertor — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 15:30:09 MDT

Y'know, Flynn, i was just kidding about those Sony Online Entertainment booth babes winning the cosplay-off of Comic Con this year. There were plenty of contenders, but I'm not ready to reward anyone yet with the coveted Kotaku No-Prize For Achievements In Outstanding Cosplay and those two were clearly disqualified for not having made their own outfits.

Most of the cosplay leaned heavily toward Super Mario Bros., Final Fantasy, and Street Fighter, but there were few stand outs. Take the Typing of the Dead cosplayer for instance. Not much to the costume, but a welcome change from all the Narutos. There was a great pink Spartan warrior that I missed getting a snap of him. Maybe next year.

New Final Fantasy Potion Dated

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 03:00:01 MDT

The Final Fantasy potion is back! This time it's bringing a supremely phallic bottle with it. Last March, game maker Square Enix and beverage company Suntory joined forces to release Final Fantasy potion, which was nothing more than a repackaged version of Suntory's health drinks in a blue bottle. This time around, a "Final Fantasy VII 10th Anniversary Potion" will get a September 13th release. Priced at ¥3,980 (US $33), the elixir is limited to 77,777 sets and includes a booklet and a oh-so penetrating bottle. Believe it or not, but the drink actually contains dolomite! The eye-opening ~~dildo~~ bottle was first revealed at the Final Fantasy Party. And what's a party without the Final Fantasy potion? Hit the jump for a pic of the box.

FF Potion [Game Watch]

Yet Another Special Edition PSP For Japan

Michael McWhertor — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:20:31 MDT

Six new PSP colors just isn't enough to meet demand in Japan. That's why Square-Enix and Sony have partnered to bring Japanese gamers yet another version of the PlayStation Portable. This one will only be sold in a limited edition package, one that includes Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, a teeny Keyblade strap and the PSP itself, all in sweet, sweet bonus packaging.

The total package will set you back 25,890 yen (about $212 USD) and will include what appears to be the recently revealed "Ice Silver" PSP with special branding. Only 77,777 of these babies will be produced for September, so call in your favors with Japanese pals.

Shots of the whole thing are available at Game Watch.

PSP Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII - FFVII 10th Anniversary Limited [Game Watch]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Rumors Nixed

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 17:20:52 MDT

With the PS one defining role-playing game Final Fantasy VII now celebrating its tenth anniversary, it seems like a perfect opportunity for the kings of cashing in, Square-Enix, to release a remake. It's been two years since the company showed its Final Fantasy VII Tech Demo for the PLAYSTATION 3, so it has to be pretty far along... right?

Not so, says FF VII character designer Tetsuya Nomura. According to a recent Dorimaga interview, by way of IGN, rumors of a remake are just that—rumors. He says:

It appears that there are often overseas rumors like 'Are you currently developing a [Final Fantasy] VII remake?' My apologies, but were absolutely not making [such a game].

Nomura does then mention that, while they're not officially working on it, "As long as there are people who want to make it and people who are waiting for it, we don't want to proclaim 'the end." Argh! So which is it? I just want them to announce the damned thing already, just so the hopeless fans will shut up about it already. Michael McWhertor

FFVII Not Being Remade — Nomura [IGN]

FF Party: What Remake The People Really Want

Brian Ashcraft — Sat, 12 May 2007 16:20:46 MDT

Final Fantasy IV? Nope! At the Final Fantasy Party, guests were invited to post notes on a giant board. The most popular request: Remake Final Fantasy VII. A next-gen version has been rumored for years, starting with a PS3 FF VII "tech demo" screened at E3 2005. Square-Enix has denied working on a next-gen Final Fantasy VII remake, but if these post-its asking for a next-gen FF VII are any indication, they'd be stupid not to. Brian Ashcraft

Thanks, 108 for the tip!

Final Fantasy's Tifa In Porn Manga Mondo

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 05:00:20 MDT

Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII looks, err, different. She looks somewhat depressed. I would be too if I were on the cover of Kuusou Jikken -Vol. 7- ("Imagination Experiment -Vol. 7-). "Hentai doujin" comic books like this often feature famous characters from video games or animation doing shameful, embarrassing things! They're printed in small numbers so that they can hopefully slip under the radar, but are carried in popular bookstores in places like Akihabara and Den-Den Town. This particular doujin comic group, or circle, has done other naughty mangas with the likes of Mai from King of Fighters. So! If you are curious, there are some NSFW-ish Tifa pics at the link below. Just know: There's a reason why Tifa looks glum. Brian Ashcraft

Tifa's New Manga [Akiba Blog]

Clip: Square Cracks Down On Korean Video

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 23:00:16 MDT

The video for Korean pop star Ivy's tune "Sonata of Temptation" doesn't borrow from Final Fantasy VII, it rapes it. But according to the vid's director, he "wanted to contact Square, but couldn't find their contact info." So don't blame him! It's Square's fault.

Doesn't matter anymore as a South Korean court recently ruled that the music video illegally copied FF VII. The video has since been banned from airing on Korean television. Check out the comparison above. I think we can all agree on one thing: That song sucks. Brian Ashcraft

Vid Banned [Japan Probe]

Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII Trailer, Now With More English

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 18:20:26 MDT

As we come to terms with Square-Enix's Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII actually existing, this fan-subbed version of the trailer shown at Jump Festa makes the game much easier to understand. Obviously, spoilers abound, so those hoping to go into the PSP action RPG fresh might want to avert their eyes. Those looking for further evidence the game isn't vaporware should check out the recently launched official Japanese site. Michael McWhertor

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII: Trailer

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 18:40:48 MDT

This Jump Festa-era trailer for the upcoming action RPG and fourth entry in the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII series shows off tons of gameplay along with the usual Final Fantasy theatrics. Exposition abounds, in Japanese of course, and Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII will surely lead to massive sales and new contenders for upcoming GameFAQs polls. We're also sure it will spawn loads of new homoerotic fanfics starring Sephiroth and SOLDIER members Zack and Cloud. We have so much to look forward to! Michael McWhertor

Clip: Korean Video Rips-Off FF VII

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 05:00:07 MDT

Tips Kotakuite Torokun:

Korean singer "Ivy" and the production company that handled her upcoming music video is getting a lot of flak from the gamers for her new music video.
For the new song "Sonata of Temptation," her management co. gave out press release with production stills describing how tough it was for her to go through action based shootings that involved "wire action". Upon seeing the released still shots, gamers picked up the "familiar" set design and the character the famous singer is acting out.

And that "familiar" set design is straight from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. It doesn't kinda look like FFVII, it totally looks like it. So much so that the video includes a disclaimer. According to the video's director, this is just a "parody," and he "wanted to contact Square to get permission but, couldn't find their contact info." Hilarious. Brian Ashcraft

Side-By-Side Comparison [This is Game]
HD Version Here [Metaru]
Screens Comparisons [Naver]

A Final Fantasy Drink To Get Trashed With

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:00:08 MST

Screw Final Fantasy Potion. Adult Square-Enix fans drink booze. Cloud's private label booze. Spencer over at Siliconera explains:

This past weekend I was hanging out at a Kingdom Hearts themed Valentine's Day party (not Square-Enix sponsored!) and there was "Cloud Strife's Buster Brose" to drink. The label says "A Scottish SOLDIER tradition" and below it "Made with the finest blend of scotch, oats and Mako energy." There was also Maleficent Mimosas which was some kind of punch mixed with Champagne.

The difference between this and Final Fantasy Potion: Drink a bottle of "Buster Brose" and puke on somebody's shoes. Drink a bottle of Final Fantasy and see spots. Brian Ashcraft

Cloud's Liquor [Siliconera]

Square-Enix Issues Master Arms

Michael McWhertor — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 16:20:41 MST

Square-Enix will be releasing a series of replicas of weapons from its various games, including the Final Fantasy VII spin-offs, Final Fantasy VIII and Kingdom Hearts II, dubbed Master Arms.

The real-life versions are scaled at an uncertain ratio, but will range from a wee 6 inches for Vincent Valentine's triple-barrelled Cerberus handgun to a slightly less wee 10 inches for Seifer Almasy's Gunblade.

Other replicas include the Sora's Keyblade and Squall Leonhart's Gunblade. Each will set you back 3800 yen (or $39 if you buy from National Console Support). Pair a Gunblade with your mini-Spartan helmet for a miniature crossover epic cat battle! And don't forget to send pics! Michael McWhertor

Square-Enix Master Arms Info [NCSX]

Clips: Otaku Game Idol Is An Otaku Gamer

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:22:12 MST

Shoko Nakagawa, known as "Shoko-tan," doesn't just talk the talk. She lives it. In a tour of her tiny one room apartment, she shows just how much she loves RPGs. How much? She's got a Slime pillow on her bed, a giant TV for playing Dragon Quest and a personalized signed pic from the individual (FIY: Tetsuya Nomura) who created Final Fantasy VII's Sephiroth. Just watch how excited she gets when Dragon Quest fires up. She says that she enjoys playing it more than watching movies and says she would like to marry Dragon Quest V! And out of left field, she puts her mouth over her cat's face in what can only be described as truly fucked up. Brian Ashcraft

Germany's Latest Killer Game: Final Fantasy VII

Mike Fahey — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 12:40:33 MST

Two 17 year old boys were arrested for murder this past weekend in the small German village of Tessin, after invading a couple's home and stabbing them both to death. The police caught up with them after they had kidnapped a 15 year old female friend, bound and gagged her, and then held a knife at her throat for an hour before giving themselves up. The murderers' names? Reno and Sephiroth.

At least that's what Torben B. and Felix D. called themselves as they carried out the grisly crimes, and when the police seized their computer they discovered a copy of Final Fantasy VII installed. You probably know the rest here. In Germany, Final Fantasy VII is now being labeled as a "Killerspiele"; a killer game.

Now we all know the worst thing that has ever come of FFVII is bad Sephiroth / Cloud fan yaoi, but people in Germany seem far worse than Americans when it comes to blaming whatever they can for their homicidally deranged children other than themselves. Nevermind the fact that Sephiroth is clearly painted as evil and the game contains less gratuitous violence than most German television commercials.

My suggestion for German gamers? Leave as soon as you can. The situation there is not getting any better. Michael Fahey

Das sind die Opfer der Killer-Sch ler! [Bild.de (in German)]
Killerspiele [Gamestar.de - Thanks Barniel!]
German schoolboys announced stabbing murders (news report in English before game link was made) [Expatica]

Clips: FFVII/Jay-Z Mash-up 99 Weapon Problems

Brian Crecente — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 17:00:12 MST

Some very patient soul put together a hot little mash-up of Jay-Z's 99 Problems with Final Fantasy VII's Weapon Raid. The end result has the JZ song dubbed to the beat of Weapon Raid. Hotness. Brian Crecente

Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core Trailer

Mike Fahey — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 12:40:18 MST

Finally something solid on on the PSP Final Fantasy VII game, Crisis Core! Up until now all we've known is that it focuses mainly on Cloud's SOLDIER buddy Zack and would take place before the events of FFVII...obviously, since Zack died before the game started. Now Squeenix delivers the goods with its 2006 TGS trailer.

Looks like an action/turn-based hybrid in the Tales series style. Interesting. Ahhh, there's Sephiroth. I'm looking forward to a whole new crop of Seph/Zack yaoi fanart once the game hits the States. If this doesn't launch PSP sales into the stratosphere, nothing will. Michael Fahey

Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core Trailer Emerges [GameBrink - Thanks Jeremy]

Games of the Week: Fanboy Letdown Edition

Michael McWhertor — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 18:11:22 MDT

Set your expectations low, for here are this week's new and notable releases.

Ninety-Nine Nights (Xbox 360)
The Microsoft backed story-driven hack 'n' slash from Q and Phantagram is less than the sum of its parts.

Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII (PS2)
Square-Enix milks the Final Fantasy VII cash cow in this third person shooter. Better than the Japanese version, but that ain't sayin' much.

Deep Labyrinth (DS)
Atlus brings the action-RPG stateside, hack 'n' slash and touchscreen spell-casting in tact.

Super Monkey Ball Adventure (PSP)
The PSP port of the lackluster Monkey Ball platformer hits stores like so much flung monkey feces.

DarkStar One (PC)
Apparently its "an open-ended action/adventure title set in a huge universe populated by a variety of unique alien races". News to me!

I'm finally going to crack into my Bit Generations games and my budget copy of Drill Dozer. After the miserable NNN reviews, I think I'll be waiting for the $10 version. You kids picking up anything this week?