But Brian Kaldenberg, in a way, defies that altruistic mode. He sees NCAA rosters also as a very profitable business, and that makes him one of the most despised figures in a community where reputation and motive have as much currency as the accuracy of one’s work. In message boards and private conversation, Kaldenberg is routinely accused of plagiarism, arrogance, and deceitful practices. But with a combination of thick skin, patience and guile, he has become probably the most successful of anyone who sells NCAA rosters for more than a suggested donation. And Wednesday, sending more shockwaves through a jittery community, he acquired another leading NCAA roster domain, thus unifying the top three URLs returned for a search of “NCAA rosters” on Google.

“It’s hard for me to understand why they care so much that I sell it,” says Kaldenberg, 25, who since the last release of NCAA Football has managed to make acquisitions of his top two, hostile competitors — fkrosters.com and DT Linder’s PSXSports. “I think it’s because I was not the pioneer. The pioneers definitely are DT and FK. Then I came along and did it differently and made a lot more money.”

Kaldenberg’s replacement of PSXSports’ front with an image of a Monopoly board, for the time being, may also illustrate the acid relationships he has with others. He insists that was a wink-and-nod to Linder, who had likened PSXSports and Kaldenberg’s original Gamerosters.com to keystone properties in the popular boardgame. But others see it as a message that Kaldenberg is coming to drive out any roster editor, for profit or otherwise. And they care about Kaldenberg’s profit motive because for them, NCAA Football is a goose whose golden egg is not money, but the ability to freely change any or all of the names in sports gaming’s deepest universe.

“We’re concerned that if sites keep charging for rosters, the NCAA may ask EA to pull the editing feature,” says Chris Jacobs, a site admin for freeNCAA09rosters.com, a free counter-site to Kaldenberg’s for-profit empire. “The game would be ruined if we were stuck with HB #15 all year.”

On that sentiment, all agree. No college sports title releases with any current player’s name or likeness, thanks to NCAA bylaws. In professional sports simulations, where superstars opted out of collective deals and refused to allow their likenesses to be used, a few absences are nettlesome. To have not just an entire league, but the largest league of any (and March Madness’ 341 teams is even larger) makes gaming with and without complete roster files a night-and-day experience.

Thus sprouted the community of roster editing, with Linder among its progenitors. (Kotaku attempted to reach Linder before the sale of PSXSports but he did not reply. Efforts through others didn’t return a comment before this article was originally posted.) And despite well sourced ventures such as Kaldenberg’s and his closest competitor, Nick Cain’s Sportrosters.com, the free roster community could only be beaten if editing were killed altogether. They make their product first for themselves, then share it to others, and are apathetic about its profitability or market potential.

“I’ve had people volunteer to help me and say that we could work nonstop on the roster file,” said Victor Vasquez, who owned fkrosters.com before selling it to Kaldenberg in December, then reconstituted his efforts on fairdale-kings.com.“But I know only how accurate my work is. I know the homework that I put into this file every year.”

Kaldenberg began with Gamerosters.com in 2004 while a junior at Iowa State University, and approaches it as much as a businessman as he does a fan. He appreciates the value added by a strong roster file (gaming with rival Iowa — he lives in Iowa City — when he plays online) but also foresees the potential in the business and an end-game. “My ultimate idea is to grow the Gamerosters portfolio to the point a gaming site or gaming e-tailer makes me an offer I can’t turn down,” Kaldenberg says, claiming he received a six-figure bid last spring but “I just didn’t feel like it was the right time yet.”

Some might think the right time has come and gone. The addition of the EA Locker feature to this year’s NCAA football game, depending on your point of view, is either pro- or con-roster editing. Through the EA Locker, Xbox 360 and PS3 gamers may share roster files freely across the network. That sets up a competing viral spread of three roster types, none of which can be monetized:

• Fully researched and edited rosters bought by the community (Kaldenberg’s)

• Rosters which are the same in content, but distributed for free or a donation (Fairdale-Kings and freeNCAA09rosters)

• or incomplete, fan-oriented rosters built by individual players which are tailored to specific schools or conferences and contain inaccuracies or wholesale omissions elsewhere.

Working in Kaldenberg’s favor is the number of offline-only players who want rosters. Custom rosters were only available for use online beginning with last year’s title, meaning a large group of players who only game in offline modes, like dynasty or campus legend, care only for accurate rosters and neither need them online nor seek them out there. Also, EA Locker is available for free on PS3, but only through XBox Live Gold on that platform, representing a separate barrier. Vasquez, his adversary, himself agrees that there are more offline gamers than online.

Also, Kaldenberg trusts in a consumer instinct built on the notion that someone offering a product in a free market has a business motivation to provide an accurate and superior, product. It’s the same reason you wouldn’t buy discount meat off the back of a truck. “People are willing to pay for what we offer and pay for the peace of mind knowing they are getting a quality product,” Kaldenberg says. “Similar to how people are willing to shell out $60 for a steak at Ruth’s Chris.”

Kaldenberg won’t divulge specifics, but says he has served close to 10,000 customers since 2004, seeing his year-over-year demand double in each of the last three years. (Vasquez boasted he had more than 20,000 registered users when he ran the site, some of whom have migrated to fairdale-kings.com)

Kaldenberg’s operation requires seasonal employees — working on a PS3, PS2 and Xbox set up in an office — and a full-time business operations manager (the business also manages rosters for March Madness and other titles). But such growth has yet to attract the notice of the NCAA. “No one from the NCAA or EA sports has ever contacted me regarding roster editing,” says Kaldenberg, who has sought legal opinions regarding his exposure in his current venture.

Truth is, EA may not need to sue anyone out of existence, especially if that risks destroying a feature the majority of its installation base adores. If it can tip the balance so that works that are both complete and free win out on its network, that returns roster editing to the community of nonprofit enthusiasts and eliminates those making money off the NCAA or its amateurs’ likenesses. Jacobs and others see such an advantage being tacitly swayed to nonprofit editors.

“Our site is part of the EA Community Leaders program, and privately, we were told that they don’t like people charging for rosters,” Jacobs said. “Hence the EA Locker feature in NCAA 09.”

For its part, EA did not respond to an emailed request seeking comment. Roster editors say this is not a surprise: the ability to edit a roster is a content feature any publisher would, reasonably, not want to give up. In this case, discussing it inevitably acknowledges the cottage industry, for profit or otherwise, that provides gamers with full rosters against NCAA wishes. The less EA reacts, the less the situation is under its control, and the less it is accountable to its licensing partner.

Kaldenberg, if nothing else, is resilient and adaptable. His own record with his rivals proves that. In December, he won fkrosters.com through a third-party offering process. Vasquez, the site’s owner, says he didn’t know who was buying the site until the offer (made through GoDaddy) was accepted. Kaldenberg says Vasquez had every opportunity to reject the sale after learning of his bid.

Kaldenberg said Linder reached out to him late last year, offering him control of both the “Park Place and Boardwalk,” of roster mod domains, and hence the reason for the Monopoly board on PSXSports on Wednesday. An original package price of $16,000 in December eventually winnowed to $7,000 in June, said Kaldenberg. Linder, reached Thursday, said he offered the site because he was competing in a saturated broader market serving sports gamers, and wanted to rebrand his efforts in the roster-only space. To that end he launched EArosters.com on Thursday, his fourth URL since beginning his roster efforts in 2001. Linder said both sides reached an agreeable settlement.
"Brian and I are both competitors and I certainly appreciated his sense of humor," about the Monopoly board on his old URL, Linder said. "Brian purchased Park Place and Boardwalk, but he has to worry about people landing on Marvin Gardens or Pennsylvania Ave first. I just placed hotels on my green and yellow monopolies."
But if anything, Kaldenberg's survival in a cutthroat business environment has taught him valuable business lessons that many 25-year-olds don’t experience firsthand.

“I’ve learned to turn a deaf ear,” Kaldenberg said. “People say bad things about you, and I used to fight it and get upset, and then I'd just see it make matters worse. I’ve matured since my younger days, and I stay away from internet message board controversies. Customer service is more important. If a customer has a question or needs assistance, it’s much more important for me to spend my time responding to customers than to respond to someone criticizing me on another website.”

Kaldenberg’s largest for-profit competitor, Nick Cain’s sportrosters.com, remains somewhat above the fray and agnostic about the fate of for-profit roster editing. Cain, who only became interested in NCAA football because he found the gameplay more engaging than EA’s Madden series, said roster editing represents only 2 percent of a business portfolio that has included poker applications and adult business ventures.

Cain says Kaldenberg also approached him about buying sportrosters.com, but refused after being put off by the negotiating style.

“He bragged about his revenue,” said Cain, himself a coder who outsources his roster work to Indian writers working on console development kits. “We’ll I don’t bank on this money. This is funny money to me. I spend an hour a day maintaining my web sales. He can put up monopoly boards all day. But if EA Sports closes the door, well, it was fun while it lasted.”

I was pleased that the article provoked thoughtful, in-depth discussion about the treatment of race, gender and other social issues in games, but in debunking a single individual's attack on Grand Theft Auto, my intention was not to provide a blanket pass to games that permit (and arguably, in this case, promote) antisocial behavior. So I was more pleased at the commenters who criticized the virulence of my GTA IV defense than I was at those who agreed with me (though, hey, who doesn’t like to be agreed with?).

One of the ways I rationalized what I’d written is by noting that games are scapegoated and crucified at every turn by people who’ve never even played them, and that this unfair public flogging threatens the medium’s potential for mainstream legitimacy.

Why those who make games don’t defend their own craft vigorously is a question for another time, but my position has been that the least we can do is to return these volleys when they’re aimed our way. If we want to see games truly thrive and grow away from stigma, it’s our responsibility, really.

And that’s why the most irresponsible thing we can ever do as gamers is to speak the phrase, “It’s only a game.”

We Live At A Flashpoint

It can be said that it’s fair for gamers to be defensive. After all, we’ve got heaps of prejudice to confront. Social, ethical and political warriors seem to feel they can tear down the things we love after only second-hand experience, our generational peers have called us strange for decades, and the myriad brilliant little revelations we’ve discovered through play over the years go completely overlooked in the broader world we belong to.

We’ve also developed a heavily internet-based culture. Many of us have plenty of “real world” gaming pals, and online game services make it easier for us to play with friends we can actually speak to. But a strong central vein of the gaming audience does its group socializing on the boards, blogs and forums that comprise the backbone of our world, and that format means that we’ve got the ability to react immediately - with all the force and venom that anonymity enables. That reactionary, passionate society becomes self-perpetuating.

Those are the largest reasons why our community arguments around games are so passionate. And when someone, rationally or otherwise, criticizes a game’s themes for being too violent, too sexual, racially offensive or gender-biased, we can almost predict the number of comments the discussion will spiral madly into, with a sigh, and a here we go.

We can understand clearly how we came to be so defensive, and to an extent we recognize the necessity of standing up for ourselves. But if we engage in what one Kotaku commenter referred to as “screeching industry apologetics,” we must beg the question: are we really serving games?

Looking in the Mirror

I sometimes enjoy being violent when I play Grand Theft Auto. And sometimes I just enjoy the mission-based gameplay, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find the ragdoll physics of a body crumpling over the hood of my car to be cool, and I suspect many of you would be at least slightly untruthful in that assertion, too.

I used the wrench a lot of the time in BioShock just because I loved the satisfying thud of metal on Splicer flesh, the meticulously crafted clink and thud, the way my victim dropped like deadweight. Someone programmed that in, deliberately, as if just for me.

Sometimes when I’m playing a first-person shooter, I wish the skull splattering would be just a little more grisly. Satisfying.

I was a Little Sister killer, and feel the game experience was more meaningful because I went there.

We can do these things and many more in our games; we can shove, shatter, abuse and denigrate. We can ogle Soulcalibur breast physics, we can get “environmental kills,” pantyshots, a meat hook.

Suppose you didn’t play video games at all, and merely were a person who fantasized for two to three hours each day, or however much time you spend gaming on a daily basis, about wrenching people in the head, about chainsawing half-dressed women, or about mowing people down during a war. Or about that quintessential chestnut: hiring a prostitute only to beat her up and take your money back.

Would you be healthy?

Our Own Little World

Now, be calm. Of course, it’s a great big leap between playing a game and having a really unhealthy conscience. A game is, well, a game, and games are neither reality nor reality-simulators. But as realism becomes a priority in development, as we demand more immersion, more emotional impact, more game worlds we can really believe in, “it’s only a game” will become more and more a flimsy excuse for why we love to do what we do.

We so desperately want “more choice” in games, more freedom, and more insight into how our choices impact the game world – and this is because we want to experiment. Human beings no longer live in an era where they must fight each other for social dominance, survive harsh elements or kill their food, but some lingering relic of that instinct probably persists, and it’s probably that itch that we scratch when we’re playing a violent game.

At least, that has something to do with it. Another part is, I think, we enjoy learning about ourselves based on the actions we take in simulated environments. Of all the things we do in games, very little of it can safely, legally or literally be replicated in reality – we’ll never fly a spaceship, we’ll never save a planet, we’ll never sleep with a blue alien.

And obviously, not all the things we do in games, not nearly, could be construed as reprehensible. Gamers also love their peaceful Azeroth sunsets, their epics of aging mercenaries, their interludes of salvation.

But when we defend attacks on game content with “geez, it’s only a game,” then we’re also relegating those moments of meaning to mere two-dimensional thrills.

The Hard Questions

“It’s only a game” is a phrase that agrees with all of those who ever looked down their noses at the medium, who want to nutshell it as a child’s plaything, who want to promote the kind of prejudice that will keep games from ever achieving widespread respect for everything they are.

When gamers ask whether the imagery of a white man shooting through a vacant-eyed sea of African villagers feels all right to them, we do ourselves a massive disservice when we simply dismiss questions like that, when we attack each other.

Whether or not you like murdering whores in GTA IV, we do ourselves a massive disservice when we fail to use that as a springboard to consider our own, and our community’s attitude toward women.

So it may be our responsibility to defend games, to explain them when they’re misjudged, to support our right to the full spectrum of emotion and experience they offer, both delightful and disturbing.

But questions like MTV Multiplayer's Steven Totilo's (our kind guest editor this week), asking, "Are Games Our Fantasies?" ought not to be brushed under the rug.

It must also be our responsibility to uphold a willingness to examine games, to discuss them civilly, to be willing to see what we're saying about ourselves through play. To have answers for the really hard questions: “Do these actions we take in games affect us as people? Does interactivity make it unfair to compare harsh content in games to the same content in movies?”

We want to defend, we want to react, and we want to forgive, because we want to love games and everything about them. And sometimes, we just don’t want to think at all, and we’d rather just play, thank-you-very-much, and that’s fine.

But don’t say “it’s just a game.” For gaming’s most passionate fans, there should never be any “just” about it.

Ozawa and Tsunoda both filed their suit this past Monday. According to the suit, the workers were illegally placed on a "flexible hours" work scheme where overtime was not paid. Because of this dubious employment structure, overtime for the employees exceeded over 100 hours per month in unpaid overtime. Along with the lawsuit, they provided hard evidence to prove that Tecmo's actions were unethical and illegal.

The following day, Ozawa clarified their lawsuit with Japanese website IT Media, explaining what it means for the entire company: "There are only two employees bringing this suit, but our accusations encompass all 300 employees, and if Tecmo doesn't immediately address the issue and correct the problem, we are ready to start a second and a third class action suit." Hiroaki Ozawa is an official representative of the labor union, having been elected with a majority vote from amongst the 300 employees. That's why, when he says that he is prepared for a 2nd or 3rd wave of class-action suits, you can take him seriously — he has been voted in by a majority of Tecmo employees.

If the claims made in this suit are indeed fact, how much has Tecmo exploited its 300 employees for over these two years. After Team Ninja member Ozawa was fairly elected as the head of the Tecmo Labor Union this past February, made it his first priority to right these wrongs, thus the reason why the employees' lawsuit was filed. (The previous Tecmo Union Head was never elected and in management — despite the majority of Tecmo's employees being in R&D.)

The evidence the plaintiffs submitted in their suit seems to indicate that Yoshimi Yasuda, president of Tecmo Co. Ltd., falsified contracts relating to overtime work, illegally withholding payment of wages to 300 employees over the course of the past 2 years. Before Ozawa was elected democratically by Tecmo employees, a figurehead Tecmo Union leader was in place, pushing through measures that employees did not agree to and did not have a voice in. Measures like the overtime and flex time "agreements". Despite Yasuda’s direct involvement with this deception, he attempted to shift responsibility by claiming that this was the fault of the founder and former chairman of Tecmo, now deceased, stating he was told not to hold an election and just pick someone to head the Tecmo Labor Union. The leaders of the labor union who discovered this impropriety have filed suit. They are seeking damages of approximately 4,160,000 yen each.But what is the crux of their argument? How much water does it hold? The answer: A lot, it seems. And this case might be more open-and-closed that Tecmo is ready to admit.

Let's have a look at the actual evidence submitted by plaintiffs Ozawa and Tsunoda:

Above, is a document from last year where the figurehead Tecmo Union leader signed an overtime work "agreement" claiming to represent all employees. It even says "chosen by popular vote" at the bottom in Japanese, which is circled. (There was no vote, apparently.) This figurehead exec's name hasn't been make public, and it is grayed out in the document. It does say his position though in Japanese: 経営管理部　経理課　係長, which basically means a low-level management exec. Not exactly the kind of guy 250+ R&D employees would choose to represent them. Link here.

Here is another document is similar, but for the so-called "flex-time" agreement. The aim in Japanese employment law for the "flex-time" rule it to allow employees to work non-standard hours freely. However, Tecmo stands accused of using it as an excuse not to pay overtime to workers. It was signed by the same figurehead, therefore the suit claims it is invalid. Link here.

This document is from this spring, after Ozawa had finally be elected by a democratic Tecmo staff vote, replacing the figurehead. This is a statement from Tecmo's president, Yoshimi Yasuda, in response to several queries made by Ozawa and the Tecmo Labor Union and is in response to the labor unions request for information on why a low-level management guy was made labor union head without an election. Yasuda claims that the owner of the company, now deceased, told him before his death that he should "just pick someone in management and make him the labor representative."

This document is important in two ways:

1. It backs up the claim that there was no election.
2. It shows that Yasuda is trying to dodge responsibility by blaming the beloved founder of Tecmo, now deceased.

Note: Tecmo released an English language press release yesterday which reads: "There are several inaccurate reports stating that all 300 company employees are named in the lawsuit and the company would like to clarify that only two employees are involved in the suit." Tecmo is correct, only two employees are actually named as plaintiffs in the suit, but how many do they represent. As Kotaku originally posted, "The plaintiffs represent all 300 Tecmo employees and contest that because of this dubious employment structure, overtime for the employees exceeded over 100 hours per month in unpaid overtime."

The documents submitted as evidence can also be found here. There are also, of course, part of public record.

Whether it be table top games like chess or video games, RZA is a long-time gamer. "I used play more video games," he says. "Like if I started playing Madden football, I'd end up playing all night long. I was addicted to them, man!" Current favorites include Harmonix's Rock Band. While hanging out with buddy Russell Crowe in Australia, RZA and co. would trash out virtual licks and belt out tunes on this rock band music sim. “Man after playing it for four hours straight,” he recalls, “I had to get home — but Rusty and his friends kept playin’ for maybe another four hours. A bunch of guys in their 30s and 40s pretending they’re rock stars.” As the game's developer (and Kotaku readers) will vouch, this is nothing abnormal! "Oh yes, stories like this are the norm," says Harmonix Music Systems CEO Alex Rigopulos. "I don't have real data about how long people play in a typical session — though I have lived through a session that started on a Friday night and didn't end until Monday morning..."

“I love the Wii too,” says RZA. “I love Wii Bowling, Wii Boxing, Wii Tennis, Wii whatever.” On Sundays, the rapper sneaks in a few games on Nintendo’s innovative Wii console, which is perfect for easy pick-up-and-play titles. “Wii makes it easy for everyone to play video games, regardless of how old they are or their level of gaming experience,” says Denise Kaigler, Nintendo of America’s vice president of Corporate Affairs. “It also gets people from different generations playing together.” Hip hop superstars, too.

While rappers like 50 Cent lend their likeness to video games, back in 1999, Wu-Tang was one of the first hip hop acts to churn out its own video game with PlayStation 1 title Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style. The clan kung-fu their way through the 36 chambers, aiming to save martial arts teacher Master Xin. The special edition of the game even featured its own special Wu-Tang W logo shaped controller! While getting mixed reviews, Shaolin Style did open the flood gates for for other hip-hop games like the Def-Jam fighting franchise with everyone from Public Enemy to Busta Rhymes. "I'm really proud of the 'Wu-Tag' game," says RZA. "I'd love to make another one if given the chance."

Forget fighting video games for a moment. Or video games, for that matter. "Chess is a way of being aggressive without being physical. You’re beating someone with your mind." And when you lose, RZA points out, you feel it — someone defeated your intellect. While mixing his new album Digi Snacks, RZA would kill break-time with games of chess. “Let’s say I’ve got an eight hour recording sessions,” the rapper says. “Four hours of that is downtime.” Four hours of downtime means lots and lots of in studio-chess games. “This week I’ve probably played 50 games of chess,” says RZA — on a Wednesday.

But what does hip-hop have to do with chess? Everything. “Chess is like battling — you know when two rappers face off,” says RZA. “Both are really a flow of ideas that connect and are used to gain an advantage over the opponent.” With that in mind, the Hip Hop Chess Federation makes perfect sense. Founded by author Adisa Banjoko and graffiti artist Leo “Blast” Libiran, the organization seeks to give youngsters life tools via music, martial arts and, well, chess. RZA first befriended the organizations founds a couple years back, but didn’t become a full-fledged member until a year and a half ago. “The idea is that chess can spark some young minds,” says RZA. “Show kids that they need to plan ahead and think.” Last fall, RZA took first place in the HHCF 8 man tournament in San Francisco, which raised $10,000 in scholarship money for Bay Area schools.

This year, RZA is taking his love of chess online with WuChess. The online gaming and social networking site lets players virtually face off, create profiles, chat, join chess clans. “We’re trying to show that chess isn’t just for nerds or old guys in the park,” the recording artist points out. So RZA, what’s the difference between online chess and real chess? “It’s easier to cheat.”

Now some 12 years after the characters' initial video game debut, Strong Bad and friends are set to make their triumpant return to a Nintendo console with Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People, collaborating with Sam and Max developers Telltale Games on the episodic adventure title. I recently met with The Brothers Chap at a gourment Atlanta restaurant to discuss the upcoming game, the perils of voice-acting every character on your website, and of course, the finest cuisine available in the United States.

Scattered, Smothered, Covered, And Gobbled

Okay, so we met at a Waffle House, but for three guys who grew up in Dunwoody Georgia, the memories afforded by the greasy diner-style restaurant far outweigh the gastro-intestinal distress we were sure to encounter later that evening. As it turns out, Mike, Matt and I all lived in the same area growing up, and while I never ran in the same circles as they did, my younger sister Nadine was in several of Matt's classes in Peachtree Middle School while Mike and I were attending Dunwoody High School. Apparently there's even a picture of Matt in my mother's house somewhere, though trying to find one specific picture in my mother's house is akin to trying to find a specific grain of sand in the desert.

This particular Waffle House was down the street from Peachtree Middle, and in an affluent Atlanta suburb where parents made damn sure that there wasn't much for their kids to do after midnight, it had long been a haven for area teens.

We order nothing healthy, and Mike inquires as to having his hashbrowns gobbled - topped with turkey - which leads to the waitress attempting to have the cook add this new type of hashbrown decoration to the menu. The cook is confused, the waitress bemused, and the whole thing comes to a head when we're told they've no turkey anyway, but we nearly made Waffle House history right there.

The Videlectrix Connection

It is important to note that while Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People (SBCG4AP) is the first console game based on The Brothers' creations, cutting-edge gaming company Videlectrix has been making games for the series for what seems like decades, with blockbuster titles such as Secret Collect, Pigs on Head, and of course, Trogdor.

The brothers explain that Videlectrix is very much involved in SBCG4AP, to the point where Mike even created a high-res logo for them (they didn't have one of their own) in case Telltale wanted to use it at the beginning of the game. The original press release for the title even lists Videlectrix as Telltale's partner for the game, a fact that confused some of Telltale's investors.

Matt explains, "Some shareholder called concerned, asking, "Who is this partner? Who is Videlectrix?" and (Telltale CEO) Dan Connors responded, "They use computers to make video games." That was all he said."

We use computers...to make video games is Videlectrix's slogan, and the fact that Telltale's CEO understood Homestar Runner that well was very encouraging to the Chapmans, who had been approached about creating a Homestar Runner video game in the past by folks a bit less understanding.

"Very rough things," explains Matt Chapman. "There was a dude from Sega of America awhile ago that we were kinda just talking to. I was like, "Is there any way that this wouldn't just be put into the factory and stuck out on the other end with something that looks kinda like our characters?" And the guy was like, "Ehhhn, probably not." He was very up front, and we were like, "Well thanks for being honest, we'll pass."

The Secret Origin Of Strong Bad

Nintendo fans from back in the days of the NES might recognize Strong Bad from one of the first console wrestling games, Data East's Tag Team Wrestling, which featured a duo called The Strong Bads.

"Oh yeah, absolutely. The Strong Bads. We were just doing some dumb thing at Kinko's for friends. We weren't planning on all of this happening," says Matt Chapman.

Not to worry though, before they started merchandising they had a lawyer check things out to make sure everything was cool, though they still expect that 50 years from now they'll be sitting around and some Data East guy will show up waving a lawsuit around.

Telltale Fits Like A Glove
The Sega pitch wasn't exactly exciting to the brothers, who never owned a Sega console but claim to have "had friends who owned Sega." The offer from Telltale Games was much more enticing. They were already fans of the Sam and Max episodic adventure series, and knowing their pedigree was a bunch of "old LucasArts dudes" it was much more a case of hearing from exactly the people you wanted to hear from.

The episodic style was also a big pull.

"The episodic thing matches our style better than one big $40 game," says brother Mike.

Brother Matt continues, "We're treating each episode of the game as an episode of the website...trying to fill some game that has 20 hours of gameplay and some stupid plot would have just been lame."

Telltale's understanding of their series has also afforded them the chance to fit all of the fan-favorite characters into the game. Matt explains that the company has been more than accommodating.

"I've actually been surprised at how many of the characters their willing to put into the episodes...the amount of them, and the breadth of them."

I asked if my particular favorite characters would be making an appearance, the old-timey versions of Strong Bad and company, but so far nothing is planned. It would require an entirely new set of 3D models, but the Brothers did hint that if enough fans asked for them a future appearance wasn't out of the question.

Voice And Butt Problems

Since younger brother Matt does every voice for the website aside from the one female character, Homestar's girlfriend Marzipan, the rigors of recording all of the sounds for five installments of a video game have taken their toll.

"In the first two episodes I've recorded maybe double of what we normally record in a year. It's definitely taken it's toll...I've had to be much more conscious of my throat."

Along with cutting out things like caffeine and sugar in his drinks (never mind the sweet tea he drank with his lunch), Matt has turned to various herbal remedies for his vocal woes, including a rather unconventional voice cure that might have done more harm than good.

"I had the hot toots for three days after this one lady gave me a jar of honey and she was like, "Put an inch and a half of it in a glass, and squeeze in as much of a lemon as you can and just shoot it until the jar is gone." If my throat got better it really didn't outweigh what it did to my butt."

Sometimes you just ask a question and get much more than you bargained for.

Just A Couple Of Nintendo Fanboys

Both Mike and Matt admit that they are Nintendo fanboys (they'd been playing Mario Kart earlier that morning), though as you'll often find the most fervent fans are the biggest critics as well. Matt echoes the sentiments of many a Nintendo fan when he calls out the Wii's lack of online community features.

"All Nintendo has to do is start an online service and we'll pay $50 a month just so we can play Mario Kart and chat with our friends."

It's for just that very reason that they both own an Xbox 360 as well as a Wii, but the only Sony system you'll find in their office is a PlayStation 2, and it's only there because of Guitar Hero.

"Harmonix's Alex Rigopoulos called us up and said "Hey, we're thinking of including one of your songs in Guitar Hero 2, so we're going to send you two copies of Guitar Hero!" So we were like, "Wow, we've gotta go buy a used PS2!"

The Final Bite

We talked for a good couple of hours, often about subjects that had nothing at all to do with Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People, from Speed Racer to Star Wars to The Matrix, but all of the little side conversations that you'll never know about serve to pinpoint the very reason so many people find Strong Bad and friends so iressistible in the first place. It's the type of humor that comes from a couple of guys sitting around a Waffle House eating bad food and just talking about whatever comes to mind. If the game manages to capture even a small portion of that feeling, it'll be something special indeed.

With that, I leave you with the last room temperature bite. Enjoy!

Luckily for the viewing public, the Olympics have come a long way since their revival in the late 1800's. Now they recognize both non-Greek speaking males and females as humans, they've added a fair bit of clothing, which tends to put the focus back on the actual sports...themselves expanded far beyond the initial foot-racing and wrestling of the original.

Over the past several decades, however, we've seen the emergence of an entirely new type of gaming - video gaming - and while it may not be an official event, the pastime we all know and love is alive and well at the Olympic games.

Let me introduce you to just a few of the gamers that will be representing the United States at the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing...if we can pry them away from their consoles long enough.

Kevin Tan
Hometown: Fremont, CA
Birthdate: September 24th, 1981
Event: Gymnastics (Lord Of The Still Rings)
Favorite Games: Halo 3, Rainbow Six Vegas 2, Super Mario Galaxy, Guitar Hero Kevin Tan, who acts as the assistant Gymnastics coach at Penn State when he isn't busy dominating the still rings, started gaming around the same time his interest in gymnastics began, between the ages of 6 and 7. Sure, he was playing his older brother's NES - but as you know, it was no small feat keeping a child in the late '80s away from Super Mario Bros. on a Nintendo.

The Competitive Spirit Works In Mysterious Ways

When I first started working on this story I fully expected to talk to athletes who had discovered video gaming late in their careers as a way to let off steam between intense training sessions and competitions. I expected stories of Olympians suddenly discovering the joy of pixellated pursuits after a particularly painful loss, or something to that effect. Honestly my only exposure to Olympic athletes before now had been seeing them on television and inspirational movies on cable, which always portray them as people with a singular driving purpose with no time for more frivolous pursuits. It turns out that what you see on television isn't always true. Who knew?

As it turns out, just about all of the Olympic athletes I profiled started playing video games around the same time they started showing interest in their more physical pursuits. Take Kevin Tan, a champion of the still rings and assistant gymnastics coach for Penn State, who got started gaming at the age of six, playing Super Mario Bros. on his brother's Nintendo Entertainment System. Or Diana Lopez, the taekwondo champion from a family of taekwondo champions, who inherited more than her fighting spirit from her older brothers.

"I remember watching my brothers always playing Tecmo Bowl, mid 80's. I really didn't know how to play, I just pressed buttons."

Oddly enough, this is the same technique I use while performing taekwondo.

When you really think about it, physical sports and video games compliment each other quite nicely. Once the body is spent from pushing it to the limit of human performance the fingers, eyes, and mind can carry on the fight in a more digital medium, and of course there's the extra added benefit of learning important map-reading skills.

Sean Townsend
Hometown: Temple, TX
Birthdate: January 20th, 1979
Event: Gymnastics (Vault and Parallel Bars)
Favorite Game: Call Of Duty 4: Modern WarfareSean Townsend began practicing gymnastics at the age of 9, picking up his video game habit a year later at the age of 10, presumably while hanging around (parallel) bars. Like so many youngsters, Super Mario Bros. drew him in, though he's since graduated to the harder stuff.

Fun Fact: His dad is named Frost Townsend. Frost has now jumped to the top of the list of aliases I will assume should I ever commit the perfect crime, beating out Steel Dagger, Death Thompson, and Pablo Menendez.

Escaping The Everyday

Like all video game players, Olympic athletes use their consoles and handhelds to escape the every day grind. The only real difference is that while our everyday grind might involve filling out TPS report cover sheets or...I dunno, writing video game news, their every day involves competing in sports at an international level.

Texas-born gymnast Sean Townsend finds time to let off a little steam in the evenings during breaks in his busy practice schedule by playing Call of Duty 4 (like about a million other people), finding that it not only helps him relax but also helps him feel comfortable when competing in exotic locations.

"It's good because you feel like you're at home and it keeps your mind off of gymnastics for a little bit."

Kevin Tan echoes Townsend's sentiments exactly.

If I didn't have games, I would be thinking about gymnastics all of the time. It is a good way to rest as well as socialize.

This of course makes me wonder if the opposite is true. Perhaps I should take up gymnastics so I'm not thinking about video games all of the time. I'll pause so anyone who has met me in person can finish laughing.

All done? Moving right along...

Diana Lopez
Home Town: Sugar Land, TX
Birthdate: January 7th, 1984
Event: Taekwondo
Favorite Game: The Simpsons Game Diana comes from a family of Taekwondo champions, her three older brothers Jean, Mark, and Steven already having filled the family mantle with various gold and silver trinkets. In 1995 at the World Taekwondo Championships Diana, Steven, and Mark all took home World Championship titles. You really don't want to tick this family off.

Diana has fond memories of her brothers playing Tecmo Bowl in the late 80's, which eventually lead to her love of both Duck Hunt and Mike Tyson's Punch Out.

Fun Fact: The World Taekwondo Federation has the best abbreviation ever.

In The Game
There are no truly great gymnastics video games. This is the consensus from among the gymnasts when asked if they have ever found a game that was an accurate representation of their sport. This strikes me as odd. Whenever the Summer Olympics is on television, the first thing my family will tune to is the gymnastics portions. There's something about the combination of strength, dexterity, and simple grace that make the various gymnastic events almost hypnotic to watch. When the games were in Atlanta in 1996, tickets to these events were the hardest to come by.

So why is there no truly great gymnastics video game? Kevin Tan suggests that the sport is just too complicated to craft a good game out of it. If I were a major developer, I'd take that as a challenge. Anyone from EA or 2K Sports listening? I'd buy the hell out of a good gymnastics title.

Taekwondo master Diana of course had a much easier time finding games that reflected her particular passion.

I remember playing Street Fighter at an early age. I always picked Chung Lee.

Okay, so she might not be able to spell Chun Li, but she could more than likely kick her ass and make her change the spelling, so it balances out.

Video Games And Fitness In Perfect Harmony

When I was a young lad you could be a gamer, or you could be a jock. There really wasn't much crossover between the two. The football players played football and dated while those of us who disappointed the hell out of the coaching staff as 6'5" 14 year-olds by quitting practice because it conflicted with the original Transformers cartoon played video games.

If it weren't already obvious with the rise of sports games and new products like Wii Fit, those lines have become more blurred with each passing year, to the point where people who represent the pinnacle of physical perfection play the same games as the people who represent the pinnacle of Cheetos consumption. Gaming is for everyone now, and there is no reason a gamer can't be just as healthy and fit as anybody else. As Miss Lopez says, the key is moderation.

"Too much of anything is bad for you..such as food, gaming, or sleep. You have to do everything within a reasonable balance. "

And Townsend's response to anyone who who label gamers as lazy or out of shape?

"Come take a look at my six pack!"

She screams muffled protests through the rag between her lips, the image on the camera phone screen reflecting her tormented, terrified eyes. As the player centers her face in the frame, she offers a desperate moan, a wracked sob.

“Smile for daddy,” the player tells her.

Click.

Is Grand Theft Auto IV an expression of hate towards women? Are those who enjoy it misogynists?

Feminist interest blog Feministing certainly thinks so – though not because of this mission scene from later in the game. At the time of GTA IV’s launch, Feministing poster Samhita came across a video called “Ladies of Liberty City: Very Bad Things,” created by IGN. The video featured sequences of the game edited together by IGN, and all of these sequences depicted violence, with sexual overtones, toward the prostitutes and strippers in the game – such as soliciting a prostitute and then running her over with your car to get your money back.

Feministing’s Samhita was offended, and excoriated the game for what she called its “blatant violence and misogyny displayed towards women.”

Before we address an argument to her statement, it’s necessary first to pick out a few serious flaws in her opinion of the game.

Thanks, IGN

First, she referred to IGN’s video as a “trailer” for the game, which it was not, of course, being that it was neither produced, publicized or sanctioned by the title’s developer, Rockstar, and was not intended to be used as advertisement nor representation of the game. The development of that video was entirely the doing of IGN, who when questioned by MTV Multiplayer’s Stephen Totilo, admitted it “messed up,” and removed the video, whose caption had read: “Grab a cup of hot coffee and enjoy the working girls of the city.”

If Samhita of Feministing was unaware enough of the game industry to know the difference between a game’s trailer and its official promotion, one could certainly argue that she was unqualified to criticize the game. Unfortunately, though, only a very small percentage of the world is especially educated on video games, and the majority of attacks on the medium come from the outside looking in. With that in mind, a hearty portion of the blame for this misunderstanding is squarely on the shoulders of IGN, who should have known better, to say the very least.

Who's Raising Our Kids?

Beginning with this misconception, Samhita, who hadn’t played the game, expressed concern that young men might be having their first sexual experiences with women in GTA IV’s prostitute-populated, violent city streets and strip clubs.

Because the modern school system encourages memorizing information to regurgitate it, discouraging creative analysis, Samhita argued that young boys playing GTA IV would not only be introduced to negative stereotypes of female sexuality through the game, but would also lack the critical thinking skills to understand that they were not being “trained” in a value system.

She wrote:

"It can be argued that they are being force fed heavily marketed violent images (that often reflect the violence in the media, movies, government policy and in their own communities) that become normalized. And not only normalized, but given the popular nature of GTA, it is cool to be violent and kill prostitutes."

It’s a common position, and even a viable one, that media today and the ready access to information may desensitize not only young people, but adults of all ages and creeds to heavy violence and sexual themes. But are children really “force-fed” any sort of entertainment, implying that there is no choice? If media really is the sole determiner of children’s values, I’m afraid we’ve got a bigger problem than a violent video game.

Does Samhita suggest that parents have no power to create what’s “normalized” for their children? Assuming such a lack of influence on the part of mothers is at least as misogynistic as any entertainment medium.

And even so – let’s pretend a moment that it’s possible for media to single-handedly ruin our youth. Even then, how can Samhita place blame on a title that, at the time she leveled her critique, had been on store shelves for a single day? One that she never even played?

Of course, Samhita is neglecting the most essential point of all - Grand Theft Auto IV is not a game for children, period.

Those Virgin Eyes

After being evaluated by several ratings organizations worldwide, the game was assigned a “mature” rating - this is 17+ in the United States and 18 in Europe and the United Kingdom. Moreover, the ESRB has repeatedly urged consumers to use the ratings as a guide, and that the word “mature” in the ratings is equally as important as the number.

In other words, this game is not intended to be played by curious youth about to get their first look at a pair of boobs, Samhita.

Ironically, by the way, Feministing used the Australian box shot of that region’s heavily-edited version of GTA IV - with the “15+” rating sticker clear in the image.

Technicalities aside, Samhita’s post went on to wonder why “a game that depicts such violence towards women [is] so popular,” and asked, “How is that acceptable?”

Guilt Issue

To be fair, this is a more challenging question. In its eagerness to defend gaming, the game community has repeatedly stressed that GTA IV neither forces nor explicitly rewards you for engaging in prostitution, violence towards women, or random acts of brutality. But it would be untruthful on our part to say that anyone plays GTA IV primarily for its engrossing story, its flawless driving mechanics or its watertight gameplay.

We play it to wreak mayhem, so let’s just admit it. Maybe then, we can finally stop feeling guilty.

GTA IV, at its core, is not a violence simulator, nor a gripping television drama, nor a camp comedy – rather, it’s all of these, presented as an essay on freedom of behavior, a fantasy world where morality is suspended, subjective or selective. What we do in that fantasy world says something about us as a society, about the state of the real world, rather than being a blatant advertisement for the innate immorality of entertainment.

Rockstar’s Dan Houser recently told Playboy in an interview:

"We're trying to give gamers freedom. It boils down to critics not liking the fact that people can choose to do 'bad' things in a fantasy world - which to me is silly."

Even Samhita admits that violent media is merely a reflection of a violent world. In that respect, GTA IV is merely truthful, an unwillingness to avoid the ugliest aspects of society. Instead of avoiding them, it embraces them, a poignant satire of those truths. Why is Samhita so incensed that players in the game can visit seedy, low-lit and vaguely gross strip clubs, when those things are actually plentiful in reality?

And in real world strip clubs, the women choose to put their flesh on display. You can assume, then, that the digital women have elected to be there, also. Although not everyone always makes ideal choices for their lives, and many women become sex workers out of desperate economic circumstances, still more appreciate burlesque as an art and embrace the work they do.

And to Samhita’s quintessential argument – that a game that makes this behavior possible is “misogynistic”?

Freedom And Equality For All

As a mirror of society at its worst, no one is spared the harsh lens in the game. Rarely are any of the game’s characters portrayed in a favorable light, and it presents in fact a level playing field – the men are as mad for their addictions and bloodlust as the women are. And if any of the characters are likeable, it’s because of empathy – or pity – for the nature of their human failings.

In fact, one of the game’s more powerful drug barons is the full-figured, fierce and feared Elizabeta, whose treatment is no more or less gentle than her male counterparts. Equality abounds. Yes, GTA IV is hostile to women. It’s hostile to everyone.

To call misogyny here is divisive, actually, implying that the treatment of women needs to be elevated above the treatment of any other group – as if “woman” were a separate, special "race" with a unified mind. We aren’t, thank you.

In fact, with all due respect for the feminist community, demand for that sort of favoritism seems to breed resentment – perhaps even the very resentment that GTA IV provides the framework to explore. Just who are those large-breasted logo silhouettes on Feministing's website supposed to be giving the middle finger to, anyway?

The imagery of the blond mafia princess held hostage is disturbing – but no more so than the scenes from film, television and novels with which humankind has been fascinated for centuries, dating even further back than the dramatic works of the ancient Greeks. These things don’t begin with GTA IV, not by a long shot. And to argue that mankind (and not merely “men”) have no right to the dark fantasies the game allows us to examine is painfully naïve.

And GTA IV earns praise above all for delivering that playground in which to explore and reflect on our baser ideas, even those we don’t necessarily embrace in our real lives. It does appeal to misogynists, who would have espoused those philosophies with or without a video game, and to those who choose to focus only on the grossest elements. In IGN's "citizenmike"'s flippant defense of the IGN "Ladies of Liberty City" video, he wrote:

"GTA games, ultimately, want players to shoot innocent people. It’s one of the core tenants of the game design. In fact, GTA games fail in entirety if you try to play them without some degree of moral depravity."

I think Rockstar's core tenet, actually, is to force people to consider moral depravity, not to beg them to embrace it. And that's why GTA IV appeals to the socially curious and the civil-minded, too – all of whom tire of having their intentions assumed, and of being told they’ve no right to their entertainment by those who haven’t even bothered to try it.

If you listen to the brayings of uninformed crisis-mongers like CNN's Glenn Beck, you'd get the idea that Grand Theft Auto IV not only requires drunk driving in the game, but also is training people to do it in real life, and convincing them they can get away with it. Seems plausible. After all, Guitar Hero has also convinced millions they too can play a guitar and get away with it in real life.

This NSFW long-awaited (and teased) Kotaku original video, conceived with a lot of suffering (and you'll see it in the end) explores how easy, and hard, it is to do things drunk in GTA IV. And yes, we're carrying it to a logical — and inappropriate — extreme. There's more discussion (and spoilers? I feel stupid typing that) after the jump. So watch it on the front page — probably not around polite company either — and then go looking for more.

While the game's drunk driving engine is no party, it is nothing like playing the game totally hammered. Both are of course, a stupid waste of time (and liquor). But a lot of what you saw was me actually trying to drive carefully, while I was sober and Niko drunk, and then just saying fuck it as I got drunk and progressively drunker.

You can also see me completely mistaking the controls (laying on the X button to powerslide and turning on the headlights instead; changing the radio station during the rollover, and firing the gun instead of hitting the brake.) Big newsflash: Being drunk slows your reaction time and makes you prone to errors.

But in all honesty, anyone who says this game trains you to drive drunk is an imbecile, and anyone who believes such a statement also is an imbecile. With the two-stick, above-the-car perspective, maybe it could train you to drive an RC car drunk. But that isn't a felony. The first-person drunken cab ride sequence is a more realistic approximation of alcohol and cars, and you are in the backseat, a danger to no one.

Some other details:

• We had a segment about hailing a cab that was cut for space. But Rockstar does not make it easy on you, at least in the 360. I was laying on the left bumper to hail a taxi, never got any indication one was, unless I saw its turn signal come on, and half the time I ended up carjacking it.
• Also, if you stumble out of the bar trashed and can't find a cab, you can set your controller down and make a sandwich. Niko sobers up completely in three minutes; the controller stops vibrating after 2:30.

• If you don't get my toast, I was being a little esoteric (read: hammered) at that point. It was a tribute to commenter Bakeroo's +1 win comment on May 18, in the Lego Boulder post.

• Yes, I am impersonating David Hasselhoff in the introduction sequence. Major kudos to Adam Barenblat for learning how to do the 3D relative zoom effect just for this video.

• This was culled from more than 20 minutes of gameplay footage. I tried to keep a crash and body count but, as you can tell, I'm not that detail-oriented after about six shots of Early Times bourbon. Early Times did not actually sponsor this, but I am in general grateful to that company.

• I actually ended up doing nine shots. What you don't see is, after shot eight, I got up (camera still on) and stumbled around to take a break. Then I realized I had to finish this, thought I hadn't done my eighth, pounded that and played out the last drive.

• The ending was in fact staged.

• I slept from 8:30 pm to 8 am the next day following this. The hangover I had is deterrent enough for me, and it should be for you.

It's a sad fact that most publishers just can't keep up with the 21st century. Consoles, games, console services like Xbox Live Arcade and the Playstation Network are advertised globally, on globally-read sites, and yet their actual distribution is delayed not just by translation, but by 20th-century ideas like staggered market regions and country-specific licensing deals. Which in the end means lots of people gets lots of games a lot later than other people.

It sucks. You hate it, I hate it, we all (especially the Europeans among us) hate it. So I figured it'd be interesting to take a look at the industry's biggest publishers, look at their biggest games from the past two to three years, and see which companies are doing a good job of satisfying global demand for their product, and which ones...aren't.

Some things to note before we get into it: if a game's already out in one market and not yet out in another (ala Smash Bros), it's not being counted, because the upcoming date is still subject to change. I've also noted the game's release as the day it first appeared on any system, so if it appeared on 360 then PS3, we go from the 360 date. Finally, I'm only noting release dates for the three major markets: the US, Europe and Japan.

I know, this is an important issue - even more important - in places like Australia and New Zealand, South Africa, Korea and Latin America, but for the sake of brevity (and the fact it's tough actually nailing down concrete dates in many of those markets), they've got to go. If it helps any, you can generally align Australian dates to Europe's, Canada's to those of the US and so on and so forth.

The List

So what do we actually get out of this, aside from a bunch of numbers?

Lots of interesting stuff. Like the fact Western publishers are as bad at getting games into Japan as we like to think Japanese publishers are at getting games to the West. And the fact that were it not for Okami's lengthy delay, Capcom would be a surprise "best in show". Oh, and the fact Square-Enix really needs to get its act together for the release of Final Fantasy XIII in Europe, because another year-long delay will be taking the piss.

You know what's most telling about that list, though? The number of games on it that were released worldwide, simultaneously. It's one. Of the biggest-selling and most high-profile games of the past 2-3 years, only one could manage the feat: Halo 3 (though to be fair Metal Gear Solid 4 should double that number in June). Which considering the amount of money and the size of the teams (at least on the publisher's end) involved in big games these days really isn't good enough.

Ken Lobb, Xbox's GM creative and technical services, spoke with us a little on how Microsoft Game Studios get their games out the door and across the world. Their emphasis on simultaneous global releases - or "sim ships" - is a handy pointer for other publishers who can't seem to really get a handle on the global nature of gaming these days.

"Sim ship is always a high priority for Microsoft", Lobb says. "There are many reasons for this: it allows us to benefit from building buzz in multiple territories, it permits the team to finish all versions of the game within a small window of time, and it builds on sales and marketing efficiencies".

"The most important reason for us to focus on a worldwide sim ship is that it's the best situation for the gamer", he continues. "In the current world of highly connected gaming via Xbox LIVE, it's only fair to try to have a game available at the same time in all territories". Obviously, this isn't a universal goal for MGS: Mass Effect, for example, is still unreleased in Japan, and many other games have had much longer turnarounds than Halo 3. But it's at least an acknowledgment of the realities of today's market.

The reason Microsoft were able to ship Halo 3 globally was simple: they took a holistic approach to localising it. Normally, a game's delayed due to one of three concerns. One is hardware restrictions, like region-locking. That's a whole other sad, separate topic. One is manufacturing problems, as we've seen with titles such as Rock Band. The other, most common explanation is the translation of a game from its native tongue. The vast majority of games are written, developed and tested in one language, and only when it's done (or nearly done) is it handed off for translation duties.

For Halo 3 - and other MGS games like Lost Odyssey, though to slightly more relaxed timeframes - Microsoft ensured all localisation duties were being performed almost from day one. Lobb says that the dev teams and testers worked closely with localisers from early in the game's lifecycle, meaning that rather than translating the entirety of a finished product (which would result in delays), the game was being localised while it was being developed, and as such was ready for a European and Japanese release the same time it was ready for the American market.

Capcom chose not to be a part of this story, but I'd imagine they employ a similar system. You can't enjoy an eight-day turnaround on a game like Devil May Cry 4 if you hadn't planned well in advance for a speedy global release. Ditto for Konami, who should be applauded for the work they've done in lining up Metal Gear Solid 4 for a global, simultaneous release.

For the rest? Having translators and localisers working with the developers throughout the game's development is a lot of work. And would cost a lot of money. Probably too much of either for companies like Marvellous and Atlus. But for Nintendo, and Square-Enix, and Sony, and Activision, and many other big-name, big-money publishers? It's definitely within their grasp. And is definitely something the lot of them need to be thinking more about in the future.

The vast majority of Japanese devs have an arcade background, and if an arcade game is going to be a hit, it needs to work, it needs to be tight and snap. If you put in a coin in a buggy game that locks up or freaks out, you'll complain to the arcade manager, who will then complain to his boss, who will then complain to his boss, who will complain to that game's publisher. Shit's gotta work. While the arcade scene is very much alive in Japan, it's not in the States, and most developers are coming in with a strong PC gaming background. If shit's broken, patch, patch, patch! "Japanese games have very few collision problems — hands, arms going through walls, etc," says Capcom producer and former localization head Ben Judd. "When western gamers see in-game collision issues, they don't care as long as they're having a good time. That's just not acceptable for the Japanese." Things like A.I. and programming is where Western devs really shine, while Japan picks up the slack on things like textures.

Other things that separate Western and Japanese games, points out Judd, include such seemingly small things like "Japanese player typically don't like controlling two thumbsticks are once — they get sick" and "Japanese players like a strong tutorial." Japanese players, says Judd, prefer that characters are skewed slightly younger and have more anime-style qualities, while Western gamers favor 30 year-old bald men. "RPGs are popular," says Judd. "Players don't typically like the first person point of view and want to see their character. It makes it easier for them to support that character." No wonder Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto has found a welcome audience in Japan.

While Japanese games have been localized to varying degrees of success on a consistent basis since the early-to-mid 1980s, Western games, save for the oddity here or there, haven't. This is nothing new, and Capcom has been bringing Western games over to The Land of the Rising Sun for sometime, even working with Blizzard to localized Warcraft III. "But it wasn't until GTA III that the company really saw the potential of Western games," says Judd. Even though a heavily censored GTA III was slapped with a dreaded CERO Z rating (the equivalent of ESRB AO), the game was a hit, fueled by US hyper carry-over as well as controversy in Japan. San Andreas moved something like 500,000 copies! Just as there are Western gamers who salivate at the idea of grinding through Japan-Only RPGs, there are Japanese gamers who cannot wait to tear through BioShock or Halo 3. Thing is, there doesn't seem to be as many of these Japanese gamers...

For Judd and his team, the challenge is selling Bionic Commando, a game developed by Swedes and clearly geared for a Western audience. One reason that game is getting made is because Western journos kept harping on a new Bionic Commando during Capcom press events and interviews! The original game, Top Secret: Hilter no Fukkatsu (Top Secret: The Return of Hitler) wasn't a huge arcade or home hit in Japan, but the NES console port with its endearingly cruddy English localization became a cult hit. "For the Xbox Live Arcade and the PSN Bionic Commando, the question has been how much to push Hitler," says Judd. "People in Japan know Hitler no Fukkatsu more than Top Secret or Bionic Commando." Then again, while releasing a Hilter game for the Famicom was apparently totally fine in the 1980's, it's not in today's world. Instead of releasing a Hilter no Fukkatsu remake on the Japanese PSN and XBLA, Capcom's releasing a re-localized version of the localized Bionic Commando remake. While Judd is fairly confident that Bionic Commando: Rearmed will do will with Western gamers, he's upfront about how it'll do in The Land of the Rising Sun. "Bionic Commando: Rearmed will have a tough time in Japan," says Judd.

"We don't really have a team in place to localize English games," says Capcom's Gearoid Reidy. "We're either outsourcing games we're publishing like GTA or God of War to be localized or trying to tie-up loose ends in-house." Capcom is staffed with a team of native English speakers like Reidy and Judd who are both fluent in English and Capcom and who have extensive experience in localization. What about vice versa? Besides Japanese staffers who are proficient in English, there isn't a dedicated in-house team of Japanese native speakers acting as translators. That's not to say the outsourcing firm does shoddy work, that's not to say that at all. The outsourcing firm has handled most of Capcom's Japan English game releases. "The problem is that there's a delay," points out Reidy. "Since they are outsourced, it takes a bit longer than if we had an in-house team doing English-to-Japanese translation." Judd would like to create a team of Japanese native speakers doing translation work in-house. "It really depends whether these games are successful or not," he says. With Capcom publishing Grand Theft Auto IV in Japan later this year, there's a pretty good chance they will be.

Translating is hard. Translating English to Japanese is harder. "You can't do direct one-to-one translations," says Tokyo-based localizer Matt Alt, who has his own localization company AltJapan. "You often have to capture the spirit of the original text." Programming-wise, changing English text into Japanese text can be tricky. "I've really come to hate the Japanese language," says Judd, who's not only a Capcom producer, but a licensed Japanese language teacher. "There are no breaks between words in Japanese," he explains. All Japanese words are mashed together, making breaking up in-game Bionic Commando text tricky. In English, text can easily broken up by spaces, but Capcom has had to go back and create a special program for breaking up the Japanese in-game text. "We've spent a lot of money on coding the Japanese text alone."

Some games just should not be dubbed. Besides the difficulty of matching up the character's lips, sometimes dubbing just doesn't fit. Take SEGA's localization of Yakuza, for example. That game needed subtitles. American voice actors trying to pass off as yakuza just sounds strange! Bionic Commando will not be dubbed for Japan. "Some titles," says Judd, "the Japanese just don't want the language changed." Shit Japanese Western game dubs become the object of ridicule for the Japanese internet. Who wants to hear cutesy anime voice actors try to act like badasses? Nobody! Bionic Commando will be subtitled in English. Besides, when you're looking at selling 100,000 Bionic Commando copies in Japan (as Capcom is doing) and you're consumers are Japanese gamers with a thing for Western games, what's the point of dubbing, really?

Even if the game is localized correctly, the Japanese market is tough to crack. "Japanese companies don't even know what'll be hits here," says Reidy. "Who saw Nintendogs or Monster Hunter and thought those games would be hits?" Some publishers feel that it's a market that needs pandering to. "Consumers need to know what they're buying," says Judd. So when Crackdown is given anime-style style poster art, it's not exactly a fair description of what's in the box and reeks of 1980's style game promotion. While Western publishers take advantage of things like podcasts and blogs, those really have not caught on in Famitsu-press-release-fed Japan. Bionic Commando has a Japanese blog, but it's updated only once a week. If users have any questions, their identity is censored by Capcom for privacy concerns and only their sterile question appears before developers to answer, creating a very sterile community interaction. Judd explains: "In Japan, we can't do community. It's considered a liability here." There are too many unknowns with community sites. What if an employee says or does something stupid? The lack of direct corporate control is dangerous. "We just waiting for Capcom to drop the hammer on our podcast," says Judd. "Lucky they don't speak English." Lucky, indeed.

Jump ahead to next week, we have GTA IV—a game that's so big that—we'll let Microsoft's General Manager of LIVE Services Operations, Derek Ingalls explain that metric:

"...we are preparing for a spike that could be much larger than what we saw with the launches of Halo 3 and Activision's "Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare."

So how is Microsoft prepping Xbox LIVE for the not so metaphorical mass rioting that is GTA IV multiplayer?

"Last holiday we weren't properly prepared," Ingalls admits. "So we are going the extra mile with Grand Theft Auto IV..." Yeah, that was total marketing speak. But it got your ears perked, didn't it?

"The biggest step we've taken is to add in more server hardware, which will expand the service's capacity," Ingalls explains to us through email. (PR had explained earlier that he was "obviously very busy" this week.) "We have actually doubled our capacity for concurrent users over the last 2 months."

The backbone of Xbox LIVE is an interesting point in itself. It's not one big pile of computers, but two big piles of computers. The LIVE-exclusive servers are in Seattle, while LIVE piggybacks off other Microsoft servers in Quincy, Washington. Ingalls jokes that security includes "tubes you must step into with bio-metric devices such that you must lay your hand on a reader for fingerprint identification before it will allow you out of the ejection tube."

And, of course, no shorts are allowed. (We're guessing it's the copious amounts of programmer leg hair, but consider that point unconfirmed.)

However, the server upgrades at Microsoft's datacenters are just part of their preparation. They have extra staff working longer hours this week. And those updates you've been receiving on LIVE?

"... are part of an ongoing effort to get ahead on capacity issues," Ingalls explained. "We learned a lot from last holiday and have a comprehensive plan we are executing upon throughout the year to prevent any recurrence of issues like we experienced. That said, we would be remiss to not expect and respect that the "Grand Theft Auto IV" release is anticipated to impact usage in a positive way."

Yeah, those updates are totally about Grand Theft Auto IV—this week at least. Because a free copy of Undertow won't quell a few million teenagers looking to break some faces, steal some shit and drive around with their music really, really loud.

As for what Sony is doing to prepare—their fate lies in the hands of Rockstar (who rumor has it is actually using Gamespy's servers). Because they don't offer a backend to host games like Xbox LIVE, they avoid the headache for a trade-off of a little risk, and almost no say in fixing potential problems that may arise.

Even Ingalls, knowing everything they've done to prepare, is a bit nervous.

"We know the launch of GTA IV will be a wildly successful day for Rockstar, for LIVE, and for our customers... and hopefully, just another day for operations."

What defines 'maturity'? I think the entertainment industry is somewhat hampered by defining works that include sex or violence or rough language as having 'mature themes': clearly there is an age component ('Should 10 year olds be watching this stuff?'), but it's overly simplistic at best. In my media collections, I have works I consider thematically "mature" in the ratings game sort of way, and the works that are mature in a different way. The ones that play with preconceived notions of the way things are or should be; the ones that deconstruct the traditional, reconstitute it as something new; most importantly, the ones that can be read on a number of levels.

The wonderful thing about the last bit is it tends to be sophisticated and subtle; if you'd like to ignore the historical context, or the barbed, oblique criticism of something it won't lessen your enjoyment of the work on other levels. The first time I read A Dictionary of Maqiao, one of the few novels on the plight of sent down youth during the Cultural Revolution I have managed to stomach, much less enjoy, I realized at the end the author was effectively attacking a century of literary criticism in China. The next time I read it, I came in with a fresh perspective and a whole new take on little bits and pieces of the novel. Heavy stuff, but the average person without any grounding in academic works on the subject could read and enjoy the book.

We sometimes toss games off the "deep" deep end: the trumped up moral dilemma of Bioshock and the ensuing months (and months and months) of discussion, added to excitement over Ayn Rand and Objectivism, was - in the end - overblown, and we quietly put it to bed. Leigh Alexander said something to the effect that we get so excited when a game seems to be trying that we go overboard. Sometimes designers toss their games off the deep end: much as I love Xenosaga, barring the atrocious second installment, by the third game I was left going 'Oh, come on' when yet another heavy-handed Biblical reference popped up. Sure, I was left wondering if Nietzsche's introduction and reception in late 19th century Japan was similar to the one in China, but was that really the point? Yes, there were some good strands of classic themes — questioning belief systems, organized religion, technology — but it got lost amongst Issachar this and Wagner that. Someone on the team clearly knew their Isrealites and classic Germanic operas, at least superficially (shame they weren't a Strauss fan, we could've had a ship called 'the Fledermaus'), but to what end?

The question is: do they need to try so hard? Certainly, the subtle layers and multiple readings I favor in my 'mature' media don't just happen. On the other hand, one of the things that distinguishes most of those works for me is what pleasurable experiences they can be for a range of people. I generally pride myself on having a more or less accessible collection of 'serious media,' and I wish I could put more games in that category. You can have your cake and eat it, too. Why do we find it so hard to strike that perfect balance in games? I'm not suggesting that there aren't games that don't offer rich themes and subtle nuance, but the trend seems to be swinging towards over the top and in your face.

I spent a few weeks padding my way through Jonathan Blow's Braid - it's clever, it's interesting, it's different. On a purely superficial level, the game is a return to simpler times: the plot resembles a fairytale (complete with be-braided princess, though I don't recall storybook heroes wearing suits and ties), the graphics have this lovely dreamlike quality that I associate with high-quality children's books, the game play is something that we're all familiar with (on the surface, that is) - the classic platformer.

Still, after a few hours with the game, my mind was already shuffling off into philosophical territory, seeing parallels with readings I've done on the nature of time and the complication of memory. And I can't say I ever thought I'd come across a game that made me go 'Gee, I wonder what Michel Serres would have to say about all of this'; while being in a much more easily digested package, Braid asks us to rethink time in games and time and memory more general, at least a little. It tweaks game mechanics a bit, rewrites some rules of the platformer genre, and in the process, achieves much more than might have seemed possible from a casual glance at it.

For a storybook setting, it's pretty damn grown up in some respects. I suspect many will write off Braid as nothing more than a rehash of classic platformers, dismiss the ending as a trite twist, criticize it for not being as 'revolutionary' as it probably should be, given the press it's gotten. I tend to think the most influential of works don't set out to be so: they become influential over time. Set out to overturn the cart and create something trailblazing and new, and 95% of the time you're going to fall short of the goal. Still, for a short little game, it can be enjoyed on several levels. It's trying hard, maybe too hard in some cases, and it deserves credit for that; it also deserves credit for functioning on several levels.

I really don't think it would take much to push a little harder and make more games that function on deeper levels that don't overwhelm players with their 'deepness.' I so wanted to love Eternal Sonata, and I wound up being very disappointed because I saw lost opportunities left and right. It would have been possible, I think, to weave aspects of Chopin's life into the main story without resorting to inserting "educational" snips that were reminiscent of low-budget elementary school videos. There were glimmers of what could have been every so often in the game, and that made me all the more unhappy the designers didn't push just a little further.

One of my academic areas of interest is the film scene in Republican China; we have article after article and book after book that dissect films for their political and social significance. My current research is on Hollywood film advertising in 1930s China, and by default I've been exposed to advertising campaigns for domestic films, the ones that scholars have read, re-read, and dissected for their 'deep meaning.' What many of these deep readings ignore is the sheer economic realities of the film industry: directors may have wanted to 'say something' or urge people to action, but companies wanted to make money. It is the benefit of hindsight that allows us to carefully examine and critique these films on an academic level while ignoring the economic realities of the film industry.

What in the hell does Republican era Chinese film advertising have to do with games? Well, when it comes down to it, the film industry (like the game industry) is concerned about making money at the top levels — the goal is not to change society, but to bring in the money. Even films that are seen today as being deep and insightful were sold on the principles of color, sound, and excitement (violence, mystery, sex or whatever), or simply having a big name attached to the project. Sound familiar? People like Blow rail against the current structure of the industry (not without basis) and the focus on cash, but other industries have somehow managed to produce works that stand the test of time as great works while working within the constraints of having to make money — often while working under conditions that simply aren't an issue in the gaming industry (or modern film industry, for that matter).

The excuse that the game industry is 'young' doesn't cut it — people always point to the film industry, as if it was a wasteland of vapid entertainment and no thoughtful criticism prior to the 1940s, which is demonstrably false. The earliest extant Chinese film is a 1922 comedy à la Charlie Chaplin called Romance of the Fruit Peddler, and even 19 year old undergraduates in the year 2008 are entertained by it. On the flip side, it does — and did — say something about the unpleasant realities of Shanghai society in the '20s (all this in 20 minutes, with no color, sound, or cameras that could zoom or even move without being physically hefted. Amazing!). Likewise, Chaplin's iconic character of 'The Tramp' made his first appearance twenty years after the first-ever public screening of a film and was entertaining while offering a reasonably serious social critique (and Chaplin was a serious commercial success). Criticism and thoughtful debate were likewise going on much earlier than we care to admit. If people want to use the film industry timeline as an excuse for why we're not further along, then they better start explaining why the money-quality-depth conundrum was not insurmountable for film makers in the teens, '20s, and '30s (even in locales that were lagging behind Hollywood and Europe from a technological and economic perspective!) — yet is cause for much wailing and gnashing of teeth among gaming circles.

What makes money? What's the guaranteed cash cow? It's the Final Fantasys, the Halos, the 'great stories' of gaming. Really, I'm A-OK with tradition. I think it's pretty cool that the Shuihu zhuan continues to be reinvented, and that includes forms like the Suikoden series; you can't get much more 'traditional' than one of the Four Great Classical Novels. I don't think a renovation of games (or at least some of them) needs to take some radical form; I'm not even convinced a radical form is the best way to making inroads to really changing things. I like our "great stories," the great classic games. There's something to be said for the comfortable, the familiar, the tried and true. There's a reason I go back to my favorite books, my favorite movies, my favorite games. I go back because something about them made me love them, and switching on a console or cracking open a book takes me back to a familiar, much loved space. Making classics - making them well - is nothing to be dismissed, nor is going out on a limb and trying something new, no matter how minor it seems. One of my favorite descriptions (from The God of Small Things) of those 'great stories' applies as well to my favorite games as it does to my favorite books (not surprising, perhaps, given that the great stories tend to pop up in all media):

The Great Stories are the ones that you have heard and want to hear again. The ones you can enter anywhere and inhabit comfortably. They don't deceive you with thrills and trick endings. They don't surprise you with the unforeseen. They are as familiar as the house you live in. Or the smell of your lover's skin. You know how they end, yet you listen as though you don't. In the way that although you know that one day you will die, you live as though you won't. In the Great Stories you know who lives, who dies, who finds love, who doesn't. And yet you want to know again. 
That is their mystery and their magic.

I don't think we're ever in danger of losing the "great games" and their ilk, if for no other reason than they are generally successful and profitable. Square has made a very profitable business, and an excellent reputation, out of precisely that kind of conservative, evolutionary design that produces great games. There's plenty of crap out there that turns into a popular success, but there are plenty of games that have much to recommend them that also have commercial success. I think those great games - the familiar and well loved - are the best places to play with tradition, but the most dangerous places to start: you risk alienating a core audience. Braid is successful in many ways because it starts off on immediately recognizable and understandable territory, but I think it will wind up suffering for that, too.

The fact we have "great stories" — great games, great genres, great tropes — is what makes me think it wouldn't take much to bump stories up a notch. We already have a kind of Maqiao equivalent in games — just as Han Shaogong makes a 'tip of the hat' to those in the know and offers a little something extra for readers who have the background, plenty of games tip their hat to fans of particular games or genres (I can't count the number of times some insignificant detail of a game resonates strongly with memories of other games played, usually leading to a good bit of delight on my part). And usually, that tipping of the hat is subtle enough that players who don't understand the reference won't be hampered by lack of background or interest. I'm not a gigantic Final Fantasy VII fan, but I was really delighted with Crisis Core: stepping back into a familiar world, with familiar characters, and seeing a different take on familiar situations was a pleasant experience. The whole game is an ode to things that came before, but — while I doubt many people who have picked up Crisis Core are totally clueless to FFVII — it was eminently accessible. Would the uninitiated miss a lot of the little moments? Of course. Could they play the game and enjoy it? I think so.

Is it really a huge leap from that sort of careful crafting and structuring to pushing beyond the borders of games to offer a little something extra for those who want it — without detracting from the enjoyment of people who simply want plain old entertainment?

I hope some games never change - I'd hate to see the death of my favorite game mechanics or play styles or even plot points. But I'd also like to see more richness without the pretensions: we shouldn't have to desperately cling to any bit of hope in a game and trump it up. I'm sure the pendulum will sort itself out eventually and we'll find a happy medium between pure entertainment and the overbearing Xenosagas of the world. A game doesn't have to be full of belabored Gnostic or Objectivist overtones to be 'smart' or 'deep,' and aiming for 'smart' or 'deep' doesn't have to mean an end product that isn't any fun. Throwing games off the deep end does us — and them — a disservice, but so does ignoring the subtle potential for just a little bit more.

"Spring breeze in Yangliu" (1975), from Stefan Landsberger's Chinese Propaganda Poster Pages; Eugène Delacroix, George Sand (1838); Redskin ad, Xinwen bao (27 Sept. 1929); Laogong zhi aiqing (1922)

Gyration, however, unequivocally denied yesterday that it has any such project in development with Microsoft. However, talking to Rare, Microsoft and a company called Motus revealed more items of interest regarding the "Newton" — the picture seen above is Motus' "Darwin" controller.

"There's absolutely no truth to the rumors, and I have no idea where they're coming from," said a genuinely perplexed-sounding Zac Rivera, the PR rep for Movea Inc., the company that purchased Gyration in January 2008. He added, "Gyration is working on some game-related projects, but it won't be announced until later this year, and it is not related to the Xbox 360."

However, when it comes to motion controls, Gyration is not the only game in town. Boston-based Motus also develops motion controller tech for games, and, looking into the company for possible information on the "Newton," we learned that it has an existing product on the market already called the "Darwin."

Coincidence?

Motus calls its Darwin controller "the evolution of the Wii" (Darwin, evolution, SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE?), but Motus chairman Satayan Mahajan says he's not trying to trash-talk: "We really admire the Wii; we think it's a great device. It's done a lot for us... in bringing motion sensing out to the rest of the world. Darwin offers the next generation of Wii."

Mahajan says he's never heard of a project codenamed "Newton," but while Gyration offered an outright denial of a relationship with Microsoft, Mahajan refused to comment on what companies are currently using its technology. "There are publishers in studios using it right now, but we have not announced our relationships."

So does Motus' Darwin aim to compete with existing motion controls, or add that kind of technology to products that don't currently have it?

"That's a tough question," Mahajan says. "We're doing what we're doing; we've created motion-based technology that offers wonderful control. Competition is kind of a natural part of doing business. Our goal is not to compete, but to do what we do and do it very well. We're not knocking down the Wii; we respect it and we admire it."

So where is Darwin aiming? "Darwin will work on console as well as PC. One [console] has very good motion controls... the PlayStation's Sixaxis struggled a little bit, and I think the other consoles, as well as PC, are looking for full motion-based solutions too," said Mahajan. "If you look at the rumor mill... it looks like Microsoft is coming up with something, and we have something... So motion-based control is needed on the other consoles, as well as PC."

The other consoles? You mean, other than PC, PlayStation and the one with "very good motion controls"? Isn't that just one console?

Motus has a previous relationship with Microsoft, too. Its iClub technology encompasses motion analysis and capture, and they've been at that for nearly five years now. The iClub technology was used in Microsoft's Links golf title in 2005. Is Motus continuing to work together with Microsoft?

"I couldn't tell you that," Mahajan said. "I would love to tell you that, but I can't."

One point Mahajan made is that when publishers release Wii titles where motion plays a key role - say, a Harry Potter - they lose "two thirds of their revenue" because without the motion controls that make magical wand-waving what it is, those titles don't sell as well on Xbox 360 and PS3.

We talked to Aaron Greenberg, director of product management for Xbox 360 and Xbox Live to see how concerned Microsoft is about losing the attention of that waggle-loving, more casual market.

"Nintendo's success is great for us," says Greenberg. "It's helped broaden the industry, and we feel like we're a part of that effort. I think that Xbox 360 is a great compliment to that experience; our belief is we offer an experience that has a broad appeal from teens to adults and even young adults... what we're seeing right now, coming out of last holiday, is that the fastest-growing segment for us is teenagers and teenage girls. With Guitar Hero, Rock Band, Dance Dance Revolution... the music genre has really exploded and those titles are selling best on Xbox 360."

In Greenberg's view, the all-inclusive motion-based Wii experience is a gateway drug for young consumers who eventually "graduate" to the Xbox 360. But the Wii has the broadest install base among current consoles — how much of that does Greenberg feel is due to the Wii's controls? "Motion control in particular... I wouldn't say that has been the differentiator. It helped contribute to the Wii's success but it created a backlash for Sony. It's not necessarily about motion or no motion, but it's about the implementation of that experience."

He continues, "People buy your console to be entertained, and they buy it for an entertaining gaming experience. By having motion, that doesn't make the gaming experience any better. There's certain types you've seen where it's definitely been unique... and some where you don't want a motion control, like when playing GTA or Madden or a racing game or an RPG. Wii Sports worked well, but in this industry, people want a lot more variety beyond the whack-a-mole type of experience that you get with that."

Does that mean Microsoft has plans to add motion controls only for certain kinds of games? "We haven't announced anything like that," he said. "We really don't comment on those types of speculative rumors."

But does the company think it's necessary to take a cue from Wii and loop in more of the casual audience? Not necessarily, says Greenberg, implying the hardcore gamer is still the platform's main priority. "The fact is, if you look at the top selling and best-rated games in the industry, you'll find that majority of those titles are on Xbox 360," he says. "Four genres drive 80 percent of sales. We've got the top-rated games and the most exclusives in those genres. If [gamers] are only going to buy one system, we feel like we offer the complete experience."

Leaked documents on a possible upcoming Rare title called The Fast And The Furriest, featuring surly squirrel Conker, suggested that the game might include a Wii-like motion control scheme. But an anonymous source inside Rare says that game is just a rumor, noting, "A new Conker game doesn't really factor that high up on our agenda."

Apparently, says the source, lead designer and Conker creator Chris Seavor is sick to death of the character and the franchise, and prefers to back-burner any title featuring the Rare mainstay. "We really don't want to run the risk of being pigeonholed as a casual games developer," ad