College Humor takes a startling look at a man pushed to the very edge. He cannot hunt. His car won't start. He cannot please his woman orally. Every step of the way the laughing dog berates and belittles him until he finally snaps. It's sort of like that one movie where Michael Douglas wants a biscuit but breakfast has just ended. Actually it's almost nothing like that...I just really could go for a biscuit right about now.

Speaking of biscuits, I've placed the video a bit further down the page due to suggested NSFW failed oral pleasure.

This dodgy diptych of box art features a slightly too muscular Chun Li (c'mon she may be a strong lass, but as drawn here she could throw shot at the Moscow Olympics) a Ryu who looks like he is trying to do long division in his head and typography that looks like the artist was doodling band logos during double geography.

If you look closely, you will see that Ken is striking exactly the same pose (even down to the spray of mud at his heels) when fighting both Chun Li and Ryu at the bottom of their boxes.

Ryu, incidentally, is demonstrating an ancient fighting technique, known in the East as Goatse Hadouken.

[Thanks to MarkMan for the tip]

Report: Gizmondo delayed until end of 2008 [GameSpot]

Mike Madden, the Creative Director, had more to say about the design process for the new project. "We have two guiding principles: Rely upon the familiar and Be bold . . . In setting, systems and game play, we want to build on a firm foundation of features that are familiar and comfortable to MMO players, making the game as inviting and accessible as possible. We see no need to innovate in areas MMOs already do well."

Taking Aim at the Future! [Stray Bullet Games via Eurogamer]

This is painful not only on the ears, but the soul. The kids at Punch Jump got their retail version PlayStation 3 20GB model in the mail, only to have it crap out straight from the box. Talk about a buzzkill. Good luck with your next one, guys! Michael McWhertor

We've been getting reports of Dead Rising sucking the brains out of 360's since the demo went live, but it's only gotten worse since the actual game release.

Recently, a person claiming to work at a major publisher that oversees a large number of 360s (presumably units used for testing and development) stated that failure rates in his studio were as high as 30-50%. That's insane.

GameDaily.biz reports today that Microsoft has gotten wind of this and is vigorously shaking their heads.

Yesterday we were tipped off by an employee of a major publisher who claimed that the Xbox 360 failure rate—at least within his studio—has been much higher than Microsoft has stated failure rates to be (around 3-5%). The employee suggested that the failure rates were actually as high as 30-50% among the 300 or so consoles they received. He also noted that Capcom's Dead Rising seemed to be making the problem worse, with many of the consoles getting much hotter than usual.

Although our source wished to keep his company name out of it, the bigwigs at Microsoft apparently sniffed it out as an Electronic Arts employee. Responding to this employee's letter, a Microsoft representative told GameDaily BIZ, "We can confirm that the letter was neither endorsed nor approved by Electronic Arts. At this point we have no reason to believe that the claims made in the letter are based on factual data as opposed to being just an individual opinion."

Capcom disagrees that the game is stressing the 360's unduly, and the old adage goes that the plural of anecdote is not data, but with the volume of noise on the subject, you do have to wonder. I'll ask for an informal followup to our previous poll: have you, Kotaku readership, had problems with the Dead Rising/360 combo? Do tell. Eliza Gauger

MS Denies High Failure Rates [GameDaily.BIZ]

I have a hard time believing the Wii will fail. I don't doubt that early games will clumsily utilize the Wiimote, or that the graphics will pale in comparison compared to the 360 or the PS3, until developers realize that style and design is more important to aesthetic beauty than shaders and shimmers. Despite that, the price and the sheer enthusiasm the Wii has generated makes me confident that we are looking at a DS style success here.

Still, I suppose it could fail, and Gaming Nexus has an extremely well-thought out list of Nintendo's potential fubars in the upcoming console war:

Dumb mistakes. Nintendo's made plenty of them in the past. From cringe-worthy advertising to burning bridges with developers, the gaming veteran has hit most of the metaphorical potholes. Does disaster loom? Well, that all depends on the new Nintendo, the Satoru Iwata Nintendo, and if the risks he's taking are right. Iwata has done a good job to cleanse Hiroshi Yamauchi's imperialistic Nintendo image, making amends with scorned developers and paying some honest-to-god attention to the American market (Reggie, anyone?)

These improvements considered, the Wii is still Nintendo's biggest risk since the NES. A massive philosophy change is sweeping the company, and here I'll examine how disastrous it could be if the overhaul isn't handled with the utmost care. Let's look at some key elements of this new movement.

One high probability disaster they cite is Nintendo's WiFi Connection strategy, which looks clunky and unwieldy compared to the 360's Gamer Tag system. They also seem to think that the Wii is not getting the marketing blitz it deserves... a questionable conclusion, since Word of Mouth alone on this one has put the name of Nintendo's next console even in non-gamer's mouths. Florian Eckhardt

Could the Wii Fail? [Gaming Nexus]