Kotaku: Donkey Kong

Five World Records Up For Grabs in Brooklyn

ogood — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:00:00 MDT

Ah, the Guinness Book of World Records. In the 1980s game craze, I remember they started accepting video game submissions, so I rolled the score on Defender on the Atari 2600 (1 million points), snapped a photo and sent it in, either to Guinness or somewhere else. No one called, no one wrote. Glory delayed is glory denied.

Perhaps no longer. You can grab an official record this coming Thursday if you live in, or can get to, Brooklyn, N.Y. — and have mad skills in one of five classic arcade games. Guinness World Records is hosting a competition to coincide with the release of its inagural Gamers' Edition.

The five titles up for grabs:

• Fastest Time to Beat Five Boards on Ms. Pac Man
• Fastest Time to Beat Five Boards on Tapper
• Highest Out-Run Score
• Highest Ghosts 'n Goblins Score
• Highest Donkey Kong Score Without Using the Hammer

I like how the records are some feat within the play of the regular game — except for Ghosts 'n Goblins, which is so goddamn impossible that just getting the all time highest score is badass enough. Arcade-History.com says the record is 811,000 points. Good luck with that.

A news release advises that "the public at large is invited to try their hand at the joystick of destiny," provided you're 21 or over and have an ID. (Barcade is, well, a bar.) The event is 7:30 pm Thursday, April 10, and the location is 388 Union Ave., Brooklyn, NY.

A Donkey Kong Jesus Fit For Christina Aguilera Spawn

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 21:00:36 MDT

This isn't just some regular old Donkey-Kong-as-Jesus painting. Oh, no. It's much more. Dubbed "The Last Supper" and painted by artist Misha, the piece was originally shown at the 2006 I Am 8-Bit show. Hang on, like I said, there's more! The painting is apparently now hanging in Christina Aguilera's baby nursery. If that wasn't enough (it's not), Kotaku's Associate Editor Flynn De Marco has a Misha original tattooed on his bodice. There, all done!
Amazingly Coincidental Donkey Kong [Gay Gamer]

Super Smash Bros. Brawl Character Super Evolved

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:00:44 MST

Sure, we've seen stuff like this before, that doesn't mean we're sick of Nintendo character evolution charts. Never! This time around we're tracking the progression that the brawlers from Super Smash Bros. Brawl have undergone. Hit the jump for a look at Samus, Kirby and non-Nintendo character but Wii-favorite Sonic.

So, yeah, Kirby's about the same.
Ninty Retro [Image Shack via Digg via Infendo]

Nintendo Characters Big and Evolved

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:00:28 MST

We've seen charts like this before. You know, ones that show how Nintendo characters evolve. That doesn't mean we'll ever get tired of them. No way! Here was have a look at Mario, Link and Donkey Kong over the years. Do yourself a favor, ignore that some of them are out of order! It'll ruin the effect.

Full chart after the jump.

Nintendo Character Evo [Bynabi via Danny Choo]

Video Games Reincarnated as Board Games

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 06:40:50 MST

Some people like video games. Some people like board games. Some people like both. For those, there's the video game board game adaptation. Some of these have been more successful than others in bringing the spirit of the game to the tabletop. Others were simply churned out for a quick buck. Blog Yehuda points out:

The bad news is that many of these games are pretty much now loss leaders to get people to buy into the video game with little originality or creativity. Witness the large number of new and useless CCGs based on recent video games, included in the packaging or given away at conventions.

The site has done an admirable job of noting the adaptations. Swing by and check it out. I remember having the Centipede and the Donkey Kong board games.
Based on Video Games [Yehuda via Boing Boing]

Monster Truck Driver Sinks To New Low In Donkey Kong Suit

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 16:20:00 MST

As fans of the monster truck arts are well aware, the Donkey Kong Monster Jam truck made its debut in Minnesota this past weekend. It made loud sounds and used a ton of fuel to crush some things. The Donkey Kong truck shouldn't just be commended for its ability to remind people that DK Jungle Climber and Donkey Kong Barrel Blast are available at fine retailers everywhere, it also placed fourth in its first ever competition. According to Monster Jam Online's account of the story, it achieved "some huge air and several slap wheelies."

Driver Frank Krmel appeared to struggle more with maintaining a smile in the face of wearing a DK suit and tie than he did piloting the new monster truck. He said of the new ride, "Donkey Kong has been around since 1981, and everyone's seen it all over the place, so they figured Monster Jam was the next natural progression." Truly. Where could the series have gone but to monster trucking? A full shot of the truck is after the jump.

In fact, there's a bunch of new images, possibly even one of a slap wheelie, at the official site.

The full interview with Krmel is available at Monster Jam Online, for anyone who wants to delve deeper into the world of monster truck driving.

DONKEY KONG MAKES SURPRISE DEBUT IN MINNEAPOLIS [Monster Jam Online]

Nintendo To Woo Monster Truck Fans With Donkey Kong

Michael McWhertor — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 17:40:47 MST

If you're a fan of mud-spurting, flame-spitting funny cars, the kind of a truck enthusiast whose ears don't perk up unless their of the "monster" variety, you may want to keep tabs on the Monster Jam truck schedule. Oh, if you like Donkey Kong, you might want to pay attention extra hard. Nintendo let us know today that the Donkey Kong Monster Jam truck will make its first public appearance this weekend, at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It will race against other trucks that are considered monstrous and could very well run over some things.

According to a press release we were handed, Nintendo VP George Harrison said "Donkey Kong has always been a force to be reckoned with. The new Donkey Kong truck lets us show off his rowdy behavior to his fans, whether they have been playing his games for decades or just discovered them." Somehow, I just can't picture him saying this. It seems forced.

Monster Jam Online

King of Kong Coming To DVD

fdemarco — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:00:00 MST

GoNintendo is reporting that King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters is heading for DVD. So, if you missed it in the theaters, now is your chance to see grown men acting like bratty children over who has the highest game score in the comfort of your own living room. The DVD, put out by New Line Cinema, will sell for $19.98 and will have an anamorphic widescreen transfer and commentary from director Seth Gordon and producer Ed Cunningham and a the obligatory extra features. Provided all goes as planned, the disc should be hitting shelves January 29, 2008.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters tentative DVD release [GoNintendo]

Show Nintendo Your Donkey Kong

Mike Fahey — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:40:18 MDT

Nintendo wants you to put monkeys in strange places. Don't look at me, they said it. In conjunction with photo sharing site SmugMug (no porn, I looked), Nintendo has issued the "DK Climb to the Top Challenge" to commemorate the release of DK Jungle Climber on the Nintendo DS. You have from now until October 1st to submit a picture to the contest page at www.DKcontest.SmugMug.com, showing Donkey Kong climbing in strange and exotic places, with the five best submissions receiving a DS Lite and a copy of the game. Entries can be hand-drawn, digitally manipulated, or actual snapshots, though if you can get a picture of an ape at least twice the size of a man climbing something you've either got other things to worry about, or you're Jane Goodall, in which case you're disqualified. Take that, Goodall!

DONKEY KONG SIGHTINGS CLIMB TO EPIC PROPORTIONS
Photo Contest Marks the Launch of DK Jungle Climber

REDMOND, Wash., Sept. 12, 2007 - Nintendo and photo-sharing Web site SmugMug are looking for images of Donkey Kong�, who reportedly has been spotted climbing notable landmarks worldwide. Images of the climbing video game icon can be submitted to www.DKcontest.SmugMug.com through Oct. 1, 2007, and the five best images win a Nintendo DS� system and a copy of DK� Jungle Climber.

The "DK Climb to the Top Challenge" photo contest marks the Sept. 10 launch of the new DK Jungle Climber video game for the portable Nintendo DS�, which sets the great ape on a new, swinging adventure. Entrants are welcome to submit any and all images they find of Donkey Kong climbing in unusual places, including hand-drawn pictures, electronically manipulated photos or even actual snapshots. Visit www.DKcontest.SmugMug.com for complete contest details and prize information.

King of Kong in Theaters Today

Mark Wilson — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:40:10 MDT

We know that not everybody lives in NY, LA, Seattle or Austin, but if you do, we highly encourage attending opening day of the documentary King of Kong. We've talked about the documentary quite a bit already, and personally, I think it's quite important to support movies about video games that aren't directed by Uwe Boll or starring Milla Jovovich.

Reviews I've skimmed thus far have been positive (click the link for an example). And if I were anywhere near anything not near cornfields, I'd see this tonight in a heartbeat.

"King of Kong" is a top scorer [Seattle Times]

King of Kong Trash Talk

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:00:39 MDT

At the Florida Association of Mortgage Brokers (yes, I know), arcade champ Billy Mitchell posted the top Donkey Kong score. Previously, he lost it to unknown Steve Wiebe. But now that Mitchell has reclaimed his crown, what does Wiebe say?

I knew he wasn't going to take this lying down. And he knows I won't let him get the record and just go away quietly. So I'm going to start firing up the game again... So like I said, the saga continues. I know I can get a higher score than what he posted, and I plan on putting it to a level where he can't break it.

Take THAT!! Wiebe even offered Mitchell a chance to go head-to-head on the machines. We wait with bated breath.

Mitchell Reclaims Donkey Kong Record

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 22:00:35 MDT

The game? Donkey Kong. The location? The Florida Association of Mortgage Brokers in Orlando, Florida. Arcade champ Billy Mitchell has reclaimed the top DK score with a record breaking 1,050,200 points. This comes weeks before documentary The King of Kong gets released. The doc follows Steve Wiebe who claims the Kong high score.

There have been questions about the authenticity of the high scores and whether or not "doctored" arcade boards were used. Both claim that they haven't cheated. For example, Wiebe shot his high score with a handheld camera in his garage. He filmed himself installing the genuine arcade board, reaching his high score and then taking out the same arcade board. For his latest record, Billy Mitchell had his board verified by Nintendo of America and didn't take it out of its Nintendo of America packaging until the Brokers convention. As he placed it in the cabinet, Mitchell had a security guard, a notary public and a GameStop manager on hand. This was also filmed!

After Mitchell beat this high score, he let the clock run out. Mitchell still had one Mario life left. He says:

"I'm not Steve Spurrier," Mitchell said of the legendarily aggressive football coach. "I'm Billy Mitchell. I don't need to run up the score. I just want to put one in the win column. I want to make it competitive. I didn't want to make it too tough."

Your move, Wiebe.
Mitchell Back on Top [MTV]

Hef's Gaming Pen

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 22:00:04 MDT

Playboy opened its doors to a herd of game journos during the recent pro gaming draft. Siliconera snapped a few pics of Hugh Hefner's gaming den, which includes retro cabinets like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong as well as newer ones like Hydro Thunder and Police 911 2. On the walls, there are scoreboards listing high scores. Hef is apparently quite good at Pac-Man. Besides video games, there are pin ball machines and two bedrooms off to the side with mirrors on the ceiling. Gotta love the Playboy mansion. Does not disappoint. Brian Ashcraft

Playboy Gaming [Siliconera]

Clip: How To Beat Donkey Kong

fdemarco — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 10:00:00 MDT

Game walkthroughs have been around since time immemorial. This clip comes from a 1982 video entitled How To Beat Home Video Games - Vol. 3 Arcade Quality for The Home by Vestron. Donkey Kong isn't a game I would think about needing a walkthrough for, but I suppose some people were really uncoordinated in the eighties. The description of the ColecoVision is hilarious, but the announcer manages to suck all the fun out of DK by his montone droning of instructions. And be sure to look for the invaluable tip at the end, I'm sure it's something you never thought of... Flynn De Marco

King of Kong Speaks

Kim Phu — Wed, 30 May 2007 12:40:00 MDT

The King of Kong documentary has been making the rounds this year in various film festivals around the US and now there is a controversy over how one of the movie's "characters" was portrayed. In the movie, two men (Billy Mitchell and Steve Weibe) are trying to be crowned the King of Donkey Kong. Mitchell has held the title of the highest score in Donkey Kong up until recently, when Weibe and a documentary crew set out to challenge it.

Just from looking at the trailer, it's pretty easy to tell who the director thinks the real hero (come on, one possibly works at a fast-food restaurant and the other is a science teacher). Mitchell hasn't even seen the movie, knows that he has been casted the villain from reading the reviews and press. Now he is speaking out in an article by MTV along with friends and colleagues who have come out to clear the air. According to Twin Galaxies' top scorekeeper, Walter Day:

When I saw the film, I was very upset. I saw the dynamics of stress between Billy and Steve and all those other people. At first I was mad at the players, mad at me and mad at everyone. Then I went away and sent [the filmmakers] an e-mail and said, 'Look, you got the plot all wrong.'

Tales of tweaked arcade circuit boards, skewed storylines, and made-up plots are just the tip of the iceberg in this video game drama. It's definitely a fun read for anyone missing "The OC". Kim Phu

Ex-'Donkey Kong' Champ Finally Speaks After Getting Bruised By New Doc [MTV Movie News]

Donkey Kong and Dragon's Lair Rub-Off Game Cards

fdemarco — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 13:00:00 MDT

As I was making my weekly perusal of The Arcade Flyer Archive (TAFA) I ran across these amazing rub-off game cards posted on the front page. TAFA owner, Dan's new girlfriend apparently has quite the little retro game collection herself including these awesome cards. The games came in trading card packs with one of those horrible pieces of rock hard gum and worked along the same principle as rub-off lottery tickets. You would rub off the silver covering on the dots as you made your way across the playing field and hoped you would make it all the way through without "dying." Of course, if you were like me, you just ended up rubbing off all the circles anyway just so you could see what they all were.

Pretty cool little piece of game nostalgia for your Sunday morning! Flynn De Marco

Donkey Kong Rub-Off Game Cards [TAFA]
Dragon's Lair Rub-Off Game Cards [TAFA]

The DIY Donkey Kong Clock

fdemarco — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:00:00 MDT

Will D'angelo of the Wiicast website has created this amazing Donkey Kong clock. All the materials were purchased at a local art supply store for a mere fifteen dollars. He doesn't say where he acquired the images from, but it's not terribly difficult to come up with screenshots from one of Nintendo's most famous games (no, they are not hand painted). After putting the whole framework together, he created new 80's style retro hands for the clockworks to finish it off and... voila, instant retro gaming clock awesomeness! Flynn De Marco

DIY Donkey Kong Clock for under $15

Buying Arcades at Bulk

Kim Phu — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:20:00 MDT

THEY SELL ARCADE GAMES AT COSTCO?!

This is worth the $45 membership fee, and it's valid for a whole year, so fill up on giant cans of con queso in case you decide to have an impromptu Fourth of July in June. Not only do you get Super Mario Bros, but you also get Donkey Kong, AND Donkey Kong Jr (all by Namco, of course) all for the super-low Costco price of $3,000! Shipping and Handling included, plus it probably doesn't smell like a day care center like the originals. Kim Phu

Indoor Games & Arcade [Costco, thanks Jason!]

Cadence Weapon Vid-Checks Classic Games

Michael McWhertor — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:20:06 MST

From the always awesome link log at Mike Nowak's The In-between comes this great old-school, game-referencing video from Canada's hip hop act Cadence Shark. Watch for Donkey Kong, Mega Man, Street Fighter, Frogger, Rampage, and Super Mario World shout outs plus the occasional naughty word. Michael McWhertor

Gambling Fun With Donkey Kong

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 22:00:01 MST

That's not a video game. It's a medal game. Donkey Kong Banana Kingdom has players stuff coins down chutes in hopes of winning more coins. It's like gambling, but not! And it comes courtesy of Capcom and Nintendo. Brian Ashcraft

Donkey Kong Machine [Japan Probe via Dark Diamond]

VC Update: Monkeys and Ninja

Mike Fahey — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:20:44 MST

It's President's Day here in the United States of America, and while a quarter to a half of the country takes a day to exchange presents, dress up like their favorite head of state, and generally celebrate until the kids go to bed and the fake Abe Lincoln beard and fishnets come out (just me?), Nintendo is busy bending space and time to bring you the latest in old stuff for you to play on your Wii.

This week features the highly overrated Donkey Kong Country, where you get to maneuver plastic simians of varying size and shape around a plastic world, collecting plastic bananas. The series always struck me as slightly creepy...if 2D had an uncanny valley, this was probably it.

Then there's the 1-2 rhyming punch of Streets of Rage (Genesis) and The Legend of Kage (NES). The first is one of the classic side-scrolling beat-em ups, and the second is game starring a ninja desperately in need of pants on a quest to save a princess from some evil. Darn that evil.

Finally we have New Adventure Island (TG16), the fourth Adventure Island game which plays almost exactly like every other game in the series, only this one is much more...Turbo-Grafxy.

There you have it, four old games made new by the magic of having to pay for them again! Michael Fahey

WII-KLY UPDATE: FOUR NEW CLASSIC GAMES ANNOUNCED FOR WII SHOP CHANNEL

Feb. 19, 2007

Today Nintendo adds four new classic games to the popular Wii video game system's Wii Shop Channel. The games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the channel every Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:

Donkey Kong Country (Super NES , 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Donkey Kong Country is an incredible island adventure, and the first game to feature Donkey Kong's sidekick, Diddy Kong . Challenged by the crazed tribe of reptilian Kremlings, the Kongs face their cunning adversaries armed with lightning-quick moves, chest-pounding muscle and awesome aerial acrobatics. The duo also gets help from a host of friends and family, from Funky Kong , Cranky Kong and Candy Kong to Rambi the rhino, Expresso the ostrich, Enguarde the swordfish, Squawks the parrot and Winky the frog. This game has more than 30 levels, plus dozens of hidden caves and secret rooms - more than 100 areas in all. Help the Kongs recover their stolen banana hoard!

The Legend of Kage (NES , 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): This classic ninja-action game first appeared in arcades in 1985 and became instantly popular. As the Iga ninja named "Kage," players embark on an action-packed quest as they move toward a magic castle where the Princess "Kiri" is held captive by "Yohshirou Yukikusa." To stay alive, players move vertically and horizontally through forest and castle environments and execute massive jumps, all the while using throwing-star knives and a sword to take down hordes of enemies.

New Adventure Island (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): On peaceful Adventure Island, the islanders are celebrating the wedding of Master Higgins and Tina, the "Miss Island Queen." Suddenly, the celebration is interrupted by the appearance of Baron Bronsky and his henchmen, who kidnap Tina and the island children. Master Higgins must set out to rescue the children and his beloved Tina in this side-scrolling action game. Throw hatchets and boomerangs, hop on skateboards and guide Master Higgins safely to the goal in each area. New Adventure Island consists of seven exciting stages. Each stage is split into four areas, with a boss waiting at the end of the final area. Defeat all the bosses and release the kidnapped children. And waiting in the castle of the final stage - the wicked Baron Bronsky. Help Master Higgins defeat him and reclaim his bride.

Streets of Rage (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): The city was once a happy, peaceful place...until one day, a powerful secret criminal organization took over. This vicious syndicate soon had control of the government and even the police force. The city has become a center of violence and crime where no one is safe. Amid this turmoil, a group of determined young police officers has sworn to clean up the city. Among them are Adam Hunter, Axel Stone and Blaze Fielding. They've decided to put their lives on the line and take back their city through their special hand-to-hand combat abilities. They are willing to risk anything, even their lives, on the Streets of Rage.

###

Donkey Kong Jr. Spotted In South Africa

fdemarco — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:39:27 MST

Kotakuite, Johan, spotted this gold on black Donkey Kong Jr. stencil job in the bathroom of his local hang out bar, Fiction in South Africa. Also featured in the bar are Pac-man mosaic and a Mario mushroom mosaic. You can check them out on Fiction's website.

And Nintendo continues its slow takeover of the world...

Nintendo Gummies Hit Gas Station

Brian Crecente — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 14:00:32 MST

No, not literally.

We stopped off for some gas in scenic Mesquite, Nevada and I ran into the station to stock up on crap food and drinks. I was about to walk out when I noticed that they were selling Game Goy Advance candy. The candy was packed into a tiny silver Game Boy Advance case. On the cover it said it contained 3D Gummy Candies. So I grabbed a pack, thinking I'd just post a pic of the case and that inside would be a bunch of generic Gummy Bears. Not so.

The case contained five pretty big gummies shaped like a bunch of Nintendo game icons including Donky and Diddy Kong, Link and Mario. You can't really make out what they look like in these pictures because I took them while riding in the back of the van. I'd take more, but I couldn't resist eating the jiggly little bastards. They kept staring at me with those unblinking gummy eyes. Brian Crecente

Ben's Donkey Kong-Riddled Diary

egauger — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 19:20:54 MDT

I love it when readers send me more substative stuff than links and lols. Ben C made a really good share today by sending it his childhood diary, replete with adorable scrawls of Donkey Kong and Moon Patrol. More people should send me stuff like this.

You won't believe me, but I stumbled across this a day or two before Ashcraft's 10-year-old-Wii-drawing-how-old-are-you-love-in post. It's terribly apropos. I was digging through a stash of old papers and drawings from when I was a kid and found my 2nd grade class journal. The first entry reads:
9-14-83
Today is Wednesday. We are in San Rafael, California. My birthday is in January. Does bob want to play today. I am very happy. I am good at swimming.

It's probably worth noting that my birthday is in June and I didn't know anyone named Bob, but the reason I sent this along was because of some of the drawings I discovered in the journal. Much to my mother's despair, I've had games on the brain for a long time. I was 7 years old when I drew this stuff. Now I'm 30.

Please note images of Moon Patrol and Donkey Kong, which I drew on the back cover with markers. I'm pretty sure I first saw these games at the local Chuck E. Cheese, back when Chuck knew from an arcade. There's also a shot of the front cover of the journal, a shot of that first entry, and Super Pickle, which isn't all that relevant, but it is Super Pickle.

It is indeed, Ben. Thank you.

My favorite parts are the princess saying "help" on the Kong image, and the mysterious Super Pickle caption that reads, "I'm going to make a pickle puncher." Eliza Gauger

Ben's Diary [Flickr]

Clip: Donkey Kong Lego

Brian Crecente — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 14:00:28 MDT

BitFlicks just brightened my whole weekend. This lovingly crafted bit of bit flick shows Donkey Kong played out in flat lego pieces, with Mario scrambling his little red Lego ass up the tilted steel rafters of level one. Brian Crecente

Donkey Kong NES Style [BitFlicks]

Mr. Rogers Plays Donkey Kong

kotaku.com — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 13:40:07 MDT

There are many people who like laughing at Mr. Rogers now that he's dead and calling him a pedophile. There is nothing wrong with you people that I can't fix with my hands.

Mr. Rogers was a treasure. The world's poorer for not having him in it. Sure, this clip of Mr. Rogers hanging around a video arcade with a small, unaccompanied little boy seems a bit pervy right now. They were simpler times.

I love everything about this clip, from John Costa's intro (don't be fooled: this man was one of the all time great Jazz pianist's) to the way Mr. Rogers refers to Mario as a "carpenter" and so cheerfully allows the little boy to rip the controller away from him, without doing what a lesser adult like me would do, which would be to slug the child.

Thanks to GayGamer for calling my attention to it. But it's not gay, dammit! Florian Eckhardt

Christina Aguilera Spanks Donkey Kong

kotaku.com — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:40:43 MDT

Thanks to Gay Gamer for pointing out this quote from a magazine we could get no one to anonymously buy for us this week, The Advocate. Christina Aguilera says:

I'm extremely good at videogames. People come over to my house after a night of going out just to try to beat my scores. I have all the top scores.

The hirsute Fruit continues:

Although they don't elaborate on exactly which games she's good at, the article does claim: "Christina Aguilera can also whip your ass at Donkey Kong."

I know what you hets are thinking. "Christina can whip my ass AND my Donkey Kong. LOL!" That was written as Ashcraft, but it's probably similar for the rest of you.

Look, I admit, Christina's new platinum blonde bombshell look is certainly groinally compelling. But might I remind all you guys that as early as last year, her preferred look was that of a syphilitic whore? Florian Eckhardt

Christina Aguilera Can Kick Your Butt At Video Games [Gay Gamer]

Head to Hungry Jack's, Get Mario Key Chain

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 09:23:53 MDT

Just like "Victoria Bitter" means "water," "Hungry Jack's" is Australian for "Burger King." Nintendo of Australia has teamed up with the Ozzie eatery to help celebrate the 20th Anniversary of Super Mario Bros. and is giving away character keychains with Kids Club Meals. Customers get a choice of Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Princess Peach or Donkey Kong and also are entered into a draw to win a DS Lite and a copy of New Super Mario Bros. Doesn't Peach look totally pissed off? I kinda felt that way when I realized Hungry Jack's even tastes like Burger King. Brian Ashcraft

Thanks, Obee

Happy 25th Donkey Kong

Michael McWhertor — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 14:56:34 MDT

There's nothing quite like a twenty-five year anniversary to make you feel old. I still remember the first time I even heard about Donkey Kong. It was in the back of a Pac-Man strategy/pattern guide that listed other arcade games in the same vein.

Yep, it's been a quarter century this August since Nintendo of America shipped out the first Donkey Kong cabinets and 1UP (courtesty of Chris Kohler) have put up an excellent retrospective of the launch, history, and success of the Pauline-swiping, barrel-chucking primate.

There's a ton of cool Nintendo trivia that makes old fanboys like me all "Gee! Shucks!", including the inspiration of Mario and Kong himself as well as factoids on Donkey Kong spin-offs and sequels that never saw the light of day. Very cool stuff. Michael McWhertor

Year of the Monkey [1UP]

The Donkey Kong Tee We'll Never See... In Real Life

Michael McWhertor — Sat, 12 Aug 2006 21:02:01 MDT

It's a shame that copyright laws exist, for they'll never let this fabulous tee see the light of day. Nay, no Fruit of the Loom 50/50 Best Tees with the above silk screened design will ever be stretched to their limits by the bellies of hundreds of Donkey Kong enthusiasts. Sad, really. The legal staff at NOA HQ would fire off a cease and desist to Skinny Corp faster than you can get your copy of Brain Age to recognize the word "blue".

But if you want to show your support for a very nice t-shirt design (I wish he'd redrawn DK, not used the sprite...), head on over to Threadless and vote for Brian's ode to classic Nintendo games and Kubrick's 2001. Michael McWhertor

Threadless: Also Sprach Miyamoto [via Wonderland]

Tell Retro Time with Nintendo

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 06:23:50 MDT

Know what time it is? Neither do I. That makes me in the market for a clock. Toy maker Banpresto has released three wall clocks inspired by retro Nintendo themes. There's a red Famicom console clock, a blue Famicom logo and a Donkey Kong start screen. Made of 1/16" thick PVC, each clock retails for US $20. I've got my eye on that blue Famicom one, and hopefully, it's got its eye on me. Brian Ashcraft

Order Here [National Console Support] via Wonderland

Old School Game & Watch Ad

Michael McWhertor — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 19:45:01 MDT

There's not too much to say about this cool old-school Game & Watch ad, sent in by reader Eric T, except that I find it fascinating to see how much both Mario and Donkey Kong have changed over the years. Look how ornery Mario looks, compared to DK's slimy child molester mug. Here's a bit of gaming cred shattering trivia: I didn't even know what a Game & Watch was until about 4 years ago. And I'm old.

Thanks for scanning this in Eric! Michael McWhertor

Mario's First Floozy Returns

brownlee — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 14:40:19 MDT

I've never quite been able to keep up with the schizophrenia of Mario's girlfriends. Princess Toadstool became Peach? Wasn't she Daisy at one point too? Not only that, but way back in the early 80's, wasn't Princess Peach a trick named Pauline?

Press the Buttons has set the record straight. Pauline was Mario's first girlfriend, only ever seen in 1981's Donkey Kong and 1994's Donkey Kong for the Game Boy. She was quickly replaced by Toadstool/Daisy/Peach in remakes and other iterations. But good news for those who admire Pauline's saucy and casual trampiness! She's coming back as the heroine in Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2. Florian Eckhardt

Donkey Kong's Pauline Set To Return [Press the Buttons]

New York Italians Embrace Mario with Super Maze

Brian Ashcraft — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 10:26:39 MDT

No, Mario is not ablaze. Kotakuite Justin Chin recently hit "Giglio Feast," an Italian festival held in Brooklyn, New York. The event included a glass-mirror "Super Maze" that featured Mario and Luigi on the outside, but not in the mirror filled inside. Justin came to the heartwarming realization that "even Italians from New York accept Mario and Luigi." Too bad the primates won't open up their hearts to Donkey Kong. That ape gets no love. Brian Ashcraft

Photo Here [Pic Patrol] Thanks, Justin!

Mario Gets His Own Band-aid

Brian Ashcraft — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 10:23:12 MDT

Like Mario? Clumsy? Here's a product for you: CareLeaves brand Mario band-aids from Japan. Slap one of these water proof band-aids that feature the likes of Mario, Luigi, Wario, Donkey Kong, etc. Perfect to cover scraps and cuts from banging on question boxes. Brian Ashcraft

More Here [Nichiban]

Meet Alan, Video Game Junkie

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 01:22:12 MDT

Back when Saturday Night Live was still funny, the sketch comedy show served up hot pippin' plates of giggle pie like this. A total classic! Brian Ashcraft

Thanks, Jarod

More Here [SNL]

Truly Sh%tty Games

Brian Ashcraft — Wed, 24 May 2006 05:22:45 MDT

UK developers Codemasters are stinking it up with Turds, a fecal fetish game site. It features famous titles like Donkey Kong based around one universal permise: doo-doo. More fecal flash mini-games like Dungbeetle Rally and Poobert are scheduled for next month. Thank Wired's Chris Kohler for pointing out this crap.

More Here [Funsta] via Game|Life

Wowzers, It's a Game & Watch Donkey Kong DS

Brian Ashcraft — Tue, 23 May 2006 13:23:27 MDT

French modder Kotomi has turned a Nintendo DS into a Donkey Kong Game & Watch DS. The craftsmanship and execution are eye-popping. Kotomi's also recently done the same for Zelda. Check the pics after the jump and give this fella a round of applause. Bravo!

More Here [Kotomi]

E306: Gamecube's Not Dead

Michael McWhertor — Tue, 09 May 2006 17:08:29 MDT

With the flurry of Wii and DS announcements, Nintendo's little console that couldn't got a handful of announcements at the press conference in the form of Super Paper Mario and Donkey Kong Bongo Blast.

The former lets you play not only as Mario, but as both Peach and Mario, in a 2D meets 3D world that "defies all video game logic". Hey, that's the press release, not me.

DK Bongo Blast features more hot bongo bangin' action (but now with jet packs!) that can also be played with the standard Gamecube controller.

Retro Donkey Kong and Frogger Polos

brownlee — Mon, 08 May 2006 08:40:13 MDT

The lovely cuties over at Wonderland posted up these great retro polos that turn your amorphous torso into the pixellated game field from Donkey Kong or Frogger.

Donkey Kong and Frogger Polos (Thanks, Wonderland!)