Guybrush Threepwood, that lovable swashbuckler with an addiction to item-hoarding, has gone to the big pirate ship in the sky. Or Davey Jones' Locker — or whatever nautical euphemism for death that you prefer. The "Story So Far" trailer will catch you up on all the events leading to this sad, sad day. But without hearing the words of friends and loved ones, we can never really know how profound a loss the pirate community has suffered.

So last night I actually sat through a eulogy for Guybrush and about halfway through the account of the fictitious character's life, I had to ask — is this really how you eulogize a video game character? It just seems like there should be something else you have to do, some other ritual that a video game character would need more than a film character or a book character because death in video games is so temporary.

Maybe we should have all brought stones to last night's "funeral." In Judaism, we leave stones on graves both as a mark of respect and, as my grandmother told me, "So they stay dead instead of trying to follow you home."

Anyone want to take bets on whether or not Guybrush stays dead?

Cory Lewis, a producer at Pandemic Studios, which is making the game, was directing me through a missions called The Zeppelin. I was the game's Irish Nazi-fighting protagonist, doing a deed to help the resistance in the game's Nazi-occupied France.

The first task of my mission was to steal a truck, adopt a Nazi disguise and drive into an enemy based. I was gingerly driving through some French streets, near Nazi checkpoints and out of the way of French pedestrians.

It would be okay to run those pedestrians over if I wanted to, Lewis told me. At least, it wouldn't blow my cover or anything, because the Nazis don't care.

I asked him if he was covering for an artificial intelligence glitch, because, sure enough, running over an innocent Frenchman didn't stir the Nazis a bit. Not at all, Lewis told me. "It's meant to recreate the world of the era. These people, [the French], were getting their asses handed to them." The Nazis, simply, didn't give a damn.

Lewis explained that, elsewhere in the game, I might come across Nazis lining up French people for execution. I would be able to save them or just keep on walking by. That's the mood of occupied France Pandemic wants to convey. (No word on whether hurting the French will make them less willing to help in later fights.)

[UPDATE: An EA spokesperson contacted me to say that the development team has incorporated some repercussions for French deaths caused by the player: "There are a couple of different stages of punishment for killing civilians and without giving too many specifics here and spoiling it, the punishment ranges from disabled hiding spots to closed weapons shops and garages and more." The Nazis still won't be bothered, but it appears that the French, understandably, will not ignore the death of their countrymen at your hands.]

When you do blow your cover, by bumping a Nazi or blowing up a gate or brandishing a gun in front of them while you are in civilian clothes, they react in force.

Our conversation reminded me of a chat I had with another EA official, David DeMarini, back when the current head of EA Partners was overseeing the development of The Godfather.

Like The Saboteur, The Godfather was an open-world game. And like The Saboteur's creators, the developers of The Godfather had to determine what kind of mayhem would be permitted and what wouldn't be.

This is what I wrote about that conversation in early 2006:

Some of the possibilities of who you might be have been tempered. Police aren't easily available to fight. At the game's start, violence against innocent women attracts police heat at twice the rate of violence against men. "There are not any benefits to killing innocent people," said DeMartini, rattling off a list of limits that he says are in the spirit of the "Godfather" fiction. They also, of course, provide a roadblock to the police and prostitute violence that has steered "GTA" into controversy.

Chalk this all up as one of those development decisions I don't often think about when I'm playing a game. Who can you kill or hurt and why? In the Saboteur, the rules are a little bit different.

I'll have more impressions of my session with The Saboteur in the coming days.

Wrestling fans know him as the WWE Hall of Famer who managed more than 50 wrestlers in his day, with more than two dozen championships won by athletes taken under his wing. 80's music fans might remember him from his appearances in many Cyndi Lauper music videos, including "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", "She Bop", "Time After Time" and "The Goonies 'R' Good Enough." As gamers, we of course remember him as the best live-action Mario of all time. That's not saying much when your chief competition is Bob Hoskins, but at least he was Italian. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! might have only run a grand total of 52 episodes, but that was more than enough to cement Captain Lou's place in gaming history.

Mr. Albano suffered from a heart attack in 2005 and has been in failing health ever since. He was at home with his family under hospice care when he passed away.

Breaking News: WWE Hall Of Famer Passes Away [PWMania.com - Thanks Matt]

The story is largely how death notification has changed to accommodate one's virtual friends and acquaintances. There are a number of services out there that will send automated emails and attachments if a subscriber does not check in with the site during certain spans of time (with hilarious unintended results if users go on extended vacations.)

But in discussing things like passwords, email and online records access, it makes me wonder about the concept of online property, and if anyone's items in an MMO are presently mentioned in a will for distribution to other MMO players. And that conjures up the image of an executor reading off someone's estate, with cosplaying dwarves and aliens sitting amongst the deceased's freaked out family, pets, mistresses, etc.

Still, I can see the value of this beyond-the-grave messaging, if I was to die suddenly. I'd send one to my brother Fletch: "TAKE THE COMPUTER AND SMASH IT. DO NOT INSPECT THE HARD DRIVE. ESPECIALLY DO NOT LOOK IN THE DIRECTORY USERS/OWENSGOOD/IMAGES/BORING TAX DOCUMENTS."

Deaths of Gamers Leave their Online Lives in Limbo [AP on SFGate.com]

Previously you could only create a Death Knight on a server which housed a level 55 or higher character on your account. The next update takes away that restriction, allowing Death Knights to pop up all over the place...well, almost.

With the next minor content update for World of Warcraft, we will be opening up death knight character creation so that if the account you play already has a level 55 or higher character in World of Warcraft, you will be able to create a new death knight on any realm within your region. Please keep in mind that restrictions still apply to new, non-transfer realms such that death knights cannot be created on those realms until you level a character to level 55 on that realm or until transfer restrictions are removed.

Those of you who paid $25 to transfer a 55+ character to a friend's server in order to play Death Knights with them before this announcement remain completely screwed.

Account-Wide Death Knight Creation [World of Warcraft Forums via WorldofWar.net]

College Humor takes a startling look at a man pushed to the very edge. He cannot hunt. His car won't start. He cannot please his woman orally. Every step of the way the laughing dog berates and belittles him until he finally snaps. It's sort of like that one movie where Michael Douglas wants a biscuit but breakfast has just ended. Actually it's almost nothing like that...I just really could go for a biscuit right about now.

Speaking of biscuits, I've placed the video a bit further down the page due to suggested NSFW failed oral pleasure.

Investigators are still trying to determine the initial cause of the violent brawl. As a precaution, earlier today Chongqing city police ordered security inspections of all internet bars and game centers in the area.

Five killed in fight at video-game centre in south-west China [Monsters and Critics via Game Politics]

The way that videogames have dealt with failure, primarily through protagonist death and trial-and-error, has generally been more concerned with games as rule sets than with games as narratives. As a result, games which appear to tell stories often become incoherent, bringing narrative progression to a halt, eliciting frustration with gameplay rather than engagement with fiction. Despite what some may charge, however, this is not an inherent bias of the medium. The die-and-retry approach is a shortcut in game design, a holdover from an era when games were more limited in their ability to tell stories. This convention now imposes an artificial limitation, even as alternative methods of dealing with failure have been exercised in some games.

This argument should not be taken to suggest that all games ought to be narrative-oriented games, that trial-and-error has no place in modern videogames, or that all games should be so concerned with preserving an illusion of boundless choices .... This article simply seeks to argue that universal models of game enjoyment that would lump such a game in with Tetris fail to acknowledge that such games ultimately offer different appeals.

I don't agree with all of his points, but it's certainly a thought provoking article (if lengthier than the usual posted on Kotaku). The design-related conversation over the role of death in games is one worth having, and this is one of the more well-written pieces I've read on the issue. Eladumos in general is worth having bookmarked — it's a young journal, but a solid one.

“You Are Dead. Continue?”: Conflicts and Complements in Game Rules and Fiction [Eludamos]

Joining the cast from Castlevania: Bloodlines is Eric Lecarde, lance man extroidinaire. Representing the ladies we have Shanoa from Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. Finally, from every Castlevania game, the end all and be all, Mr. Death himself. Well there goes play balance. You can't win over Death.

If you think Quarantine looks nice, hit the jump for Crossroads - definitely my favorite of the two.

Gary Gygax [Troll Lord Games Forums]
Photo by Alan De Smet

More on this sad story at the local Fox News affiliate.

Scituate Boy Dies at Providence Bruins Game [MyFox Boston - thanks, Andrew.]

Colin McRae, 1968 - 2007

Everyone at Codemasters, especially those who worked directly with Colin McRae, is deeply shocked and saddened by the tragic events of this weekend.

The loss of Colin McRae is deeply distressing. That it involved his son and another so young makes it even more tragic. Our thoughts are with his family and those closest to him and we share in their pain.

For over ten years, Colin was part of the Codemasters family and it was a privilege to have a man recognised as a true legend on the team. He always took a keen interest in the game experience, wanting to make sure it was without equal in its portrayal of the sport.

His contribution was inspirational and brought his technical expertise and passion for rally driving to each and every McRae game. Through the popularity of those games, he brought a whole new audience to the sport itself.

Codemasters' relationship with Colin began through Jim, David and Richard Darling and their condolences, along with ours, are passed to Colin's family. We are heavy of heart at his passing but we are also brimming with pride at knowing him and to have played a small role in his life.

He will never be forgotten by all at Codemasters.

Our hearts go out to Colin's wife, daughter and the rest of his family and friends.

Rally champion Colin McRae dies with son in helicopter crash [Times Online]
[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

I was hanging out around the outside of the Loews Beach hotel in Santa Monica Friday afternoon, trying desperately to ignore the growing red crispiness of my sun-punished forehead as I awaited the festivities promised by the Gamecock Media Group, when an all too familiar, mournful tune rang out through the dark...sunlit day. It really is hard to be moody and noir in Santa Monica.

In my austere reverence I decided there and then to take the air-conditioned shuttle bus in a circle around the city to ponder the heavy thoughts that the haunting image of this becockled piper stirred in my soul, and to get a Snickers bar. Upon my return, the festivities were beginning to get underway.

I entered the courtyard of the Hotel California, already filled with hopeful partygoers, with not one trace of Colitas rising up through the air. My disappointment was soon sidetracked by the strange items being passed around by the party organizers. Stylized black tambourines, black bandanas festooned with the Gamecock logo, dark umbrellas similarly festooned and, for some odd reason, a pickle in a bag, which remains to this day a subject of much speculation among my fellow press members.

In true Gamecock style the pre-funeral party was dotted with voodoo vaudevillians, dark and sexy creatures that were on hand to add a certain spooky beauty to the proceedings. The ghosts of booth babes past perhaps?

There was no time to ponder the origin of the specters any further, as the call had come, and it was time to give E3 the grand sendoff it deserved. The ever-growing procession of sad faces, black umbrellas and confused game reporters made its way down the long flight of stairs onto the sidewalk that parallels the beach. I found it a very moving ceremony and was ready to go back up the stairs for more beer, when the damndest thing happened. They kept walking!

Passersby stared at the mass of marching mourners in awe, perhaps wondering how those of the larger, sweatier persuasion (*cough*me*cough*) were able to maintain their footing without tumbling face-first into the crowd. Children followed along on their bicycles and skateboarder passed by us presenting very tempting lariat targets. Policemen on ATVs sat and watched us pass with the resignation of authority figures who knew deep down inside that if a group that large decided to start getting rowdy there was absolutely nothing they could do to stop us.

We walked and chatted and took picture after picture of other people walking and chatting as a brass band marched up front, setting the time. Then, despite my best efforts, I died of heatstroke.

Ahhh, but remember, I said I'd tell you about the time I almost died. *Rolling Stones music plays, digression ends*

Finally, after walking from the Hotel California to Venice Beach a full mile away, the procession lined a cement pier facing the ocean and urged the assembled gaming press to gather around to pay final tribute to the Electronic Entertainment Expo, taking a cue from Brutus by burying it but not praising it, only without the subversive undertones. Songs were sung and words were said. The Destructoid robot gave a speech I did not catch, too busy wondering when his brain was going to explode as the shiny metal helmet glimmered in the Santa Monica sun.

We stood and remembered the good times spent covering the gaming industry from the E3 show floor. Pondered all the good the show had done over the years to bring awareness to the business. Held a moment of silence for the...wait, beer? Later E3, they've got beer.

I learned so much that night at the Beer Garden. I learned that if you seem sincere enough when you tell the waitress the fried calamari is for your group, she will give it to you, just like that. I learned that if you accidentally call it katamari in front of several dozen members of the gaming industry you will never, ever live it down. I learned that Germans find it rude if you don't look them in the eye when you toast. I also learned that trying to keep up with beer-drinking Germans is a really, really bad idea. Most importantly I learned that you should write your flight time down on your body somewhere before attempting said keeping up, lest you find yourself running half-blind through the streets of Santa Monica screaming for a taxi cab nearly four hours before your flight is scheduled to leave.

Thank you Gamecock, and thank you E3. The lessons shall live on forever in my heart, as well as the inordinately large gallery that follows.

He teased us about death back in May, but this time he actually elaborates. There is no death. Instead, your character gets beaten until he collapses. Then he (or she) gets beaten some more. And more. Continuously beaten until you get up. How do you get up? By paying for it in either experience or gold. How fast you get up, and presumably continue fighting and killing your enemies, depends on how much money you pay. Pay a lot, get up fast. Pay a little, lie on the ground for, say, sixty seconds.

So what's the consequence of not getting up fast? You get scarred. SCARRED. Irreversibly scarred. And the more scars you have, the more townsfolk, villagers, barristers and women despise you. Unless they're in some kinda weird scar club, which is still as of yet not confirmed to be in the game.

The inspiration for all this is, strangely enough, birthed from the scene in the latest James Bond movie where Bond is repeatedly punished in the genital area. Hard. And did we say repeatedly? Molyneux saw that Hollywood took their heroes beat them to a pulp, but never killed them. They would be scarred, sometimes irreversibly so, but never killed (unless you work with Jack Bauer). So why not take this mechanic and put it into Fable 2?

Since most of the game is spent in an effort to not die, let's talk about combat next. Molyneux says that in an RPG game, at least 50% of your playtime is going to be in combat. So he wanted to make a combat system that was both robust and accessible. The way he did that was by mapping just about every attack function (melee, at least) to the A button. It's definitely simple, and it's definitely button masher friendly—something P. M. said he wanted to embrace—but there's also a lot to do.

First, mashing the button just keeps you swinging and swinging. The AI will figure out your patterns and block most of your attacks, but some may get through. Timing presses correctly, while the enemy isn't blocking, is the key. Then there's blocking, which consists of holding down X. Holding down the attack button for a while gives you flourishes, which are essentially charged up moves.

If you want to get fancy, there's A and a direction for thrusts, and if you time everything correctly (A, hold A, or thrust A) you'll get a cool camera change that zooms in on the action. There's even a narrow focus to give it even more "dramatic effect". And on top of that, the battle music changes and adds drums, which supposedly is controlled by the rhythm of your attacks—or button mashes. It all comes together pretty cohesively.

However, Molyneux claims that the system is on par with say, a Virtua Fighter, but we don't quite agree. It's deep, sure, but it's not exactly at a Soul Calibur-esque level. But you do get to break items and throw stuff at enemies all with the same attack button. And although magic and ranged weapons weren't demoed, he says they work in much the same context-sensitive way as melee attacks.

As for the engine itself, it's also looking pretty good. Lips, as he pointed out himself, look like rubbish. And so does lighting on certain characters. But buildings, streets, breakable objects, flowers, character animations, and the general environment looked fantastic.

Is this the second of the big three things Peter Molyneux has in store for Fable 2? What's the third thing? I can't wait to find out.