Have you ever been embarrassed for someone else? The moment the music starts up in this holiday-themed Dante's Inferno trailer my cheeks started getting warm. By the time the first line came out, they were deep crimson. "On the worst day of Christmas Lucifer gave to me..." Ug. Someone had to sing that. Not only did someone have to sing that, they probably had to do multiple takes, while other people were watching. Is there a circle of hell for marketing that makes you vaguely uncomfortable?

For a game set in Hell that seems designed to court controversy, the inclusion of "unblessed infants" as something to slay sounds a lot more reasonable when described in such a sterile fashion. "These 'unbaptized' demons resemble babies only in size," says the ESRB's warning about potentially offensive content, "as they tend to hack, slash, scream, and impale/get impaled as often as taller demons."

See? Nothing to be concerned about, especially when factoring in the rest of the violent fare and... tongue-evisceration? Yep. Tongue-evisceration.

"Blood often splatters out of monsters' bodies when attacked; weakened monsters can be finished off with a set of commands leading to tongue-evisceration, but more often, some version of dismemberment," notes the rating. These things are so informative.

The "Mature" rating touches on the game's sexual content—like Cleopatra's bared, bruise-colored breasts—and the "shade minions," which have "tentacles protrud[ing] from their stomachs, their lower regions." By that, I assume they mean their feet.

But news to me at least was the shaft-swinging accuracy in Dante's Inferno. Apparently, one "bluish devil/demon in boss-battle mode" has it's business out and "there are equivalent physics applied to female/male body parts." How far we've come from physics-free phallus!

Dante's Inferno [ESRB]

Kicking off Kotaku's review of 2009 are the headlines that generated the most heat, if not light, from the preceding year. The conflicts fracture along familiar faultlines - legal claims; violence and in-game content; marketing and etc. And by no means is this an exhaustive list. There were plenty of other decisions, indecisions, gaffes, gambits and shrewd calls made by the games industry - a dynamic capitalist enterprise, of course - and we invite you to continue the discussion of them in our comments.

Knuckleheaded
EA's press promo for Godfather II backfires when the brass knuckles it sends (including a pair to Crecente) turn out to be illegal in many of the states to which they are shipped (including Colorado). It's also illegal to ship them in California, where EA is based. EA asks for all of the knuckles back. Godfather II then backfires when the game sucks.

One Fallujah the Cuckoo's Nest
Konami tiptoed up to the "too soon?" line by announcing "Six Days in Fallujah," a combat FPS based on the deadly 2006 American operation to pacify the region in Iraq. Then developer Atomic Games took a flying leap over the line by mentioning it had consulted with insurgents on the game's initial design. By the end of the month, Konami dropped the project like it was a hot, nuclear-waste infused pop-tart. Atomic continued to insist the project was alive, while shopping it to other publishers. But by the end of the year, Atomic president Peter Tamte seemed to have gotten further with his idea for a "family-friendly" game about Marines pacifying Beirut, instead. That one is scheduled for a January 2010 release. Apparently, in video games, it's all about location, location, location. [Thanks to commenter ashleyillman001 for reminding us of this one.]

Our Legal Team Goes to 11
Activision's lawyers file a face-melting suit against studio Double Fine over Brütal Legend, whose publishing shifted over from Activision to Electronic Arts earlier in the year. Activision seeks to halt the game's release on grounds that Double Fine missed a key deadline when it was accountable to Activision. EA, not sued, still tells Activision STFU, and that they're just jealous in the manner of "a husband abandoning his family and then suing after his wife meets a better looking guy." Double Fine countersues, alleging Activision was trying to kill off Brütal Legend, seeing it as a threat to Guitar Hero. Ultimately, the two sides settle out of court, and Brütal Legend makes its declared release day.

Turn Out the Lights, the LAN Party's Over
StarCraft is a longtime staple of LAN parties, but that tradition will end with StarCraft II. In late June, Blizzard tells Kotaku that the title will not support local area network gaming, and will instead steer players over to "our upgraded Battle.net service." One of the reasons given is that it cuts down on piracy. Predictably, Starcraft enthusiasts head to the Batpoles to draft a petition. Instead of making fist-shaking demands and threatening boycotts, what comes out is more of a polite "please?" The effort has gathered 244,510 signatures to date. But at Blizzcon, executive v.p. of game design Rob Pardo tells Fahey that "Only from the press," is Blizzard still taking flak for the decision. "Everyone else has accepted it."

Edgy Edged Edginess over Edge
Tim Langdell had a terrible reputation within the games industry prior to this year, but his pissing contest with Mobigame over the word "Edge" represents a coming out party. Langdell, excoriated for his aggressive defense of the trademark "Edge," which he registered years ago, has Mobigame's acclaimed title for the iPhone removed from the iTunes App Store in May. The controversy and terrible publicity result in Langdell's resignation from the board of the International Game Developers Association, and ultimately Electronic Arts suing to cancel Langdell's trademarks, over a dispute regarding 2008's Mirror's Edge. Mobigame's game resurfaces as "Mobigame by Edge" later in the year.

Who Sold Out Whom?
At E3 2009, Valve's announcement of Left 4 Dead 2 ignites feelings of betrayal and marginalization in some who bought the original Left 4 Dead barely seven months before. Immediately a boycott group forms on the Steam forums, vowing not to buy or play the new game. Some 10,000 people join it in the first few days. Stern criticisms include: "The fiddle-based horde music is extremely disliked, though the differently orchestrated music is otherwise welcome." In September, Valve shrewdly co-opts the boycott's leadership, flying two of its organizers to Valve HQ to get some hands-on time with Left 4 Dead 2. Both immediately sing its praises. On launch day in November, most in the boycott stick to their guns, but many cave in and play anyway.

Dante's Fiasco(es)
The Dante's Inferno marketing team was apparently on a rampage to execute the most boneheaded campaign of any title in 2009. After sending a bunch of fake religious zealots to E3 to protest the game there, pissing off real religious zealots with the stereotype, they cook up the "Sin to Win" whopper of Comic-Con. Basically, Comic-Con goers were encouraged to "commit acts of lust" by having their photos taken with booth babes, then submit the photos for judgment and a chance to win a "sinful night with two hot girls," plus other amenities. Outrage catches on, and the Dante's Inferno team apologizes. A real booth babe rips them a new one, and a gay man wins a runner-up prize for submitting his picture with a "booth bear."

Made from Scratch
It's a story that combines 2009's trendiest douche moves - lawsuits, and layoffs. In April, Activision is sued by publisher Genius Products and peripheral maker Numark Industries over its acquisition of 7 Studios, conveniently and coincidentally developing a rival game to Activision's own DJ Hero. A court in L.A. orders Activision to give over all the code from the competing title - Scratch: The Ultimate DJ. The two sides settle on a cash-for-code prisoner exchange, and Scratch is rebooked for an early 2010 release. DJ Hero, despite reasonably good reviews and a full-bore marketing campaign, disappoints in sales, which doesn't look good for Scratch next year. Finally, once 7 Studios is no longer useful to this corporate psychodrama, Activision lays off half of its workforce.

Sambo No Amigo
Scribblenauts, the wildly creative DS hit developed by 5th Cell, encounters an unintentional problem with racial sensitivity when writing the word "sambo" creates a watermelon on the screen. In the minor video games market known as the United States, both are overtly racist images with a history going back decades. 5th Cell points out the game is developed for multiple countries and languages, and that the watermelon summoned is in fact a "fig-leafed gourd," by which it is apparently known as "sambo" in Spanish. The game's publisher, Warner Bros. Interactive issues a more comprehensive apology, expressing deep regret for the word's inclusion. Internet tough-guy commenters who don't see what the trouble is with the word "sambo" are invited to say it around their black friends. None has any.

Shut Your Hole
Courtney Love, wife of self-martyred pop star Kurt Cobain, announces via Twitter she's gonna "sue the shit out of Activision," over its insensitive use of her hubby's likeness in Guitar Hero 5 - which includes his avatar singing songs not performed by Nirvana, which means in someone else's voice. Activision's response is all, "Um, RTFA," and points to the contract she in fact signed granting the use of Cobain's likeness as a "fully playable character." Jon Bon Jovi backs Love, saying he nothankyou.jpg'd Activision's offer of an appearance in the same game. Then Gwen Stefani, not one to be out-dramaqueened, and her band No Doubt file a lawsuit similar to Love's. Activision returns fire, suing No Doubt for failure to perform due diligence and breach of contract. Congratulations, everyone now looks bad.

A Lack of Dedication
In October, Infinity Ward community manager Robert Bowling goes on a podcast with hardcore Modern Warfare fans and announces the creation of the matchmaking service IWNet. You then hear the gears turning in the podcast hosts' heads: But ... that ... means the end of ... dedicated servers ... right? Right. Immediately, petitions and boycotts are announced, gathering some 20,000 signatures in the first day. Infinity Ward sticks to its claim that IWNet will be an improvement. By launch day, the boycott is effectively over.

Video About Gamers' Insensitivity Not Acceptable
Philadelphia Phillies pitcher - and noted Modern Warfare enthusiast - Cole Hamels (pictured) reminds us that "grenades are for pussies," in a faux-public service announcement brought to you by "Fight Against Grenade Spam." That, of course, makes the acronym FAGS and all, or at least partial, hell breaks loose. Infinity Ward, the producer of the video, is upbraided not so much for a veiled homophobic slur, but for a clip that portrays the game's community as dominated by uber-macho, insult-spewing assclowns. Infinity Ward removes the video the next day.

No Russian Was Harmed in the Making
Leaked gameplay footage of Modern Warfare 2 shows that players will - in the guise of an undercover mission - join terrorists as they invade an airport, kill and commit atrocities against civilians. Activision immediately points out the mission is skippable, both before it begins and at any point during it, and is "designed to evoke the atrocities of terrorism." The game, already classified for sale in Australia, is the subject of brief demands to have it reclassified and effectively banned, but they go nowhere. The sequence is removed from versions sold in Russia, and modified in the Japanese and German versions so that players shooting any civilians are given a "game over" screen. The Japanese version courts additional controversy when the mistranslation of "Remember, no Russian," - instructions to the terrorists not to speak in that language - comes out as "Kill ‘em, the Russians." In the United States, Totilo goes on MSNBC to plead for national calm and mainstream outrage fails to materialize.Modern Warfare 2 goes on to sell more than 4.7 million copies in the North America and the U.K. - on the day of its release.

Frumps on the Barbie
Australia's lack of an R18+ classification for video games comes back to the fore when Left 4 Dead 2 is refused classification by the nation's Review Board. Valve's reaction is, in order, to be "pretty bummed," then to appeal the refused classification and then finally publish a spitefully power-sanitized version just for Australia, which might as well have been titled Imagine: Zombiez.

Frumps on the Barbie II or: Australians vs. Predator
Luke attempts to set us all straight on what is and what ain't banning in Australia. But the country's image, that it's a nation of pantywaists tenderly sensitive to depictions of certain manly acts - such as decapitations - persists. And it seems to be having a cumulative effect. Aliens vs. Predator, at first banned - oops, I mean, refused classification - is reconsidered and then, amazingly, classified MA15+ making it good for sale. Then the government asks for public input on changes to the country's game ratings system. Finally Luke, waking up today and reading this last paragraph, bludgeons me to death with a didgeridoo, over the Internet, the end.

While last year's spread featured naked versions of characters from games like Afro Samurai, Ride to Hell, Velvet Assassin, Saints Row 2, Damnation, and Rise of the Argonauts, this year features boobs from games venturing closer to AAA territory. That includes rendered tits and ass from God of War III, Heavy Rain, The Saboteur and Mafia II. It also means Crimecraft, but, hey, there are exceptions to this loose rule.

The veiny pinup with her yayas out up there? That's the lovely Beatrice from Visceral Games' Dante's Inferno. Below is a very naked Madison Paige from Quantic Dream's Heavy Rain, another high profile PlayStation 3 games due in early 2010.

If this is the kind of thing you enjoy—and haven't found comparable content on the internet already—the January issue of Playboy magazine has the full "Playing Hard To Get" lineup of digital nakedness, sans Kotaku Censor Fish. It's the one with Tara Reid on the cover as featured at the equally NSFW link below.

Playboy January/February 2010 Issue [Playboy.com]

Here's the rehash Klepek provides:

I posed the question of a sequel to executive producer Jonathan Knight at a recent hands-on demo in Los Angeles, just days before the playable demo goes online. He didn't shy away from acknowledging the challenge in producing another one. For example: there's no second descent into Hell. Dante's Inferno is based on The Divine Comedy's first act, Inferno, but the other stories, Purgatorio and Paradiso, seem unlikely candidates for a game.

"That is a problem I hope to have to solve by earning the right to do a follow up," said Knight.

Given my look at Limbo in Dante's Inferno, I don't see exactly what the problem is. It's not like the development team is shy about taking liberties with the story whether or not the original text lends itself to video games. So why not bend Purgatorio and Paradiso like they were pipe cleaners in an art class?

In any case, Knight's team has their hands full with a sequel already: Dead Space 2. I could make some snarky comment here about originality in that series, but I think I've exhausted my snark quota for the day. Anybody else want to take a stab at it?

Dante's Inferno Producer Knows Sequel Would Be Difficult, Awaits Challenge

According to the Italian-language Console Planet, these are the features of the Death Edition:

• Exclusive costume for a playable character in-game: Isaac Clarke from Dead Space!
• Making-of documentary with the game (Italian subtitles)
• Documentary "Dante in History" (subtitled in English)
• Soundtrack full game
• Documentary on the creation of music and audio (Italian subtitles)
• Digital Artbook edited by visual designer Wayne Barlowe (subtitled in English)
• Over 10 minutes of scenes from the soul "Dante's Inferno An Animated Epic" (subtitled in English)
• Digital reprint of the poem Complete (in English)

Ohhhhh kay.

Death Edition for Dante's Inferno [Console Planet (translated) via Joystiq]

Yes, I tend to harp on the fact that Xbox 360 owners have to wait two weeks for the demo, but it just seems so silly to me. Between the time-exclusive demo and the PlayStation 3 special collector's edition, I'm sure that at least a couple Xbox 360 owners are feeling a little alienated here.

The Dante's Inferno Divine Edition is the version all PlayStation 3 owners will be receiving once the game is released on February 9th, so there's no need to worry about changing over your preorders or making sure you don't get a gimped version accidentally. Whether they want it or not, they're getting it. What are they getting? On top of the game itself, the Divine Edition comes with developer commentaries, a Wayne Barlow digital art book, the game's soundtrack, and a digital copy of the complete Longfellow translation of Dante Alighieri's Inferno.

If you have told me three years ago that a PlayStation 3 game would be packed with the Longfellow translation of anything, I would have been impressed by your strange thought process and bought you an alcoholic beverage of your choosing.

"We are thrilled to offer an exclusive game pack for PlayStation 3 gamers," said Jonathan Knight, Executive Producer for Dante's Inferno. "The PlayStation platform has a long history of delivering AAA action/adventure games. Adding Dante's Inferno to that rich catalogue is very exciting for the team. And with the demo now available on the PlayStation Network, players can finally get a taste of what awaits them in the full game on Feb 9th."

The Divine Edition of Dante's Inferno certainly contains enough additional content to justify jacking the price up another $10, but EA is delivering this treat to PlayStation 3 owners for just $59.99, the same price Xbox 360 owners will pay for their plain vanilla version, barring any forthcoming announcements of special content for Microsoft console owners.

Modern Warfare 2: Ghost #2 (of 6)
Written by David Lapham. Drawn by Kevin West.

Summary Via Publisher Wildstorm Entertainment:
Sgt. Riley – codenamed "Ghost" – has found himself in many a sticky situation while serving in the S.A.S. But never has a mission fallen apart so fast. On his first Joint Task Force mission, a combination of betrayal and bad luck has landed him in the hands of a blood-thirsty Mexican drug czar. Could things possibly get worse? Absolutely, yes.

The best-selling Call of Duty video game series continues its comics debut in this 6-issue miniseries!

Dante's Inferno #1 (of 12)
Written by Christos Gage. Drawn by Diego Latorre.

Summary Via Publisher Wildstorm Entertainment:
Based on the upcoming EA video game, this classic epic poem is brought to life as never before, courtesy of writer Christos Gage (WILDCATS, X-Men/Spider-Man) and hot new artist Diego Latorre. Dante Alighieri is re-imagined as a holy warrior who has returned from the Crusades to find his beloved fiancée Beatrice murdered. When her soul is ensnared by Lucifer, only Dante has the strength and courage to break open the gates of hell and save her. But at what cost to his own immortal soul? And is Dante himself pure enough for this impossible task? Find out in this sizzling new 6-issue miniseries!

Knight and Lambros will be discussing everything Dante's inferno related in the first weekly installment of the live video series tomorrow, focusing primarily on the game's development, the PlayStation 3 demo, and the Dante's Inferno comic book. Fans of the game will be able to ask questions of the duo by posing them to @danteteam on Twitter or posting them on the Dante's Inferno Facebook page wall.

The whole shebang kicks off tomorrow at 4PM Eastern time at the game's official website. If you're lucky and we remember, we might just embed it here for your convenience.

If you're lucky.

Not only can you send your friends to one of the nine circles of hell in the Facebook Go To Hell app, you can also vote to punish or absolve them, or simply torment them with lovely activities like beast massage or succubus castration. Oh those kids these days, with their succubus castration.

"This app is awesome! Not only will it be a blast to see who the world sends to hell, but it's also a great opportunity to take Dante's notion of the 9 circles of hell and make it current and relevant for people who may not be familiar with the poem," said executive producer Jonathan Knight. "Let the damning begin."

Now in the interest of fair play and science or something, I went ahead and sent Crecente to hell. I am not saying you should click on this link and go torment him, but I am certainly not going to stand in your way.

But marketing it is, the latest in Electronic Arts' attempts to drum up interest in Visceral Games' Dante's Inferno, due early next year. We'll just have to wager a guess that the spot, the web site, the cross controller and kneeler accessory were the work of ad firm Wieden + Kennedy, responsible for some of EA's previous viral and non-traditional ads, like the Tiger Woods "Jesus Shot" video and Spore billboard campaign.

Mass: We Pray ties into the Heresy circle of Dante Alighieri's version of Hell—and the level of the PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 and PSP game—but also lets Facebook users "damn" their friends and acquaintances. But that's not a very nice thing to do.

The Dante's Inferno animated feature taps the work of the creative teams behind those anime greats to bring EA's vision of the original epic poem. I like the look of what they've come up with so far, but I think there needs to be a bit more screaming of the name Beatrice before I can really take it seriously.

Dante has nine circles of hell to travel through in his quest to save his lost love, but first he has to get there. Players will be able to take the first steps on this epic journey in next month's Dante's Inferno demo. Our hero battles from the surface to the fabled gates, slashing his way through hordes of enemies towards his first boss encounter - Death. When the first boss you encounter is Death, you know you're in trouble...or you're playing a Castlevania game.

"Our main goal from the start of this project has been to create a journey that will make gamers truly feel like they are going through hell," said executive producer Jonathan Knight. "The demo will give everyone some insight into how we are treating the story and a taste of the gameplay. And with nine more circles of hell to explore once the game comes out in February, we are literally just scratching the surface."

Dante's Inferno is indeed out in full retail form on February 9th in North America and the 12th in Europe. For extra-added fun with the demo next month, be sure to moan "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" over and over again as you play.

Of the levels we've seen thus far in Visceral Games' journey to hell, Heresy looks the most Hell-ish. Like, how I envision Hell, all flames and tortured screams and not so much demonic babies spawning from putrefied nipples.

This new trailer for Dante's Inferno does, however, have some demonic babies and, logically, demonic baby killing. And the game's developers explain just what this whole Dante's Inferno thing is all about.

Watch the extended cut of me playing around with the box sent me by said marketeers as I try to avoid using the hammer they sent me as part of their wrath-themed giveaway.

Let's just hope that the development team is putting as much work into the game as the PR team is putting into the swag. Fingers crossed.

Ps. This video is 16 minutes long!

A trio of new Dante's Inferno screens, brightly lit and bigger than any PSP resolution you've ever seen, might turn you on to the game, or they might not. There are no baby birthing purple-mouthed nipples here, just action caught in the moment.

Please note that the belt is his. We shot this a couple of weeks ago in New York City at an EA event.

Jump to about 3:40 for the start of the interview:

In the interview, the Hip Hop Gamer refers to a video post I did for my previous employer back in March. In it, I forecast that the Xbox 360 would lack many big titles for the holiday '09 season. Turns out, some of the details changed, but I was pretty much right.

Stephen Totilo PS3 Lineup Much Stronger Than Xbox360 This Holiday Season [HipHopGamer.com]

Snacks.

The pictured action figure is in production and is a work-in-progress sample (hence the lack of color). The actual figure will be available this February when the game is released.

The Dante's Inferno statue was shown this past April at the New York Toy Fair. Compare to the recent photo for tweaks and changes.

The Dante's Inferno Team's Photos - Wall Photos [Facebook via Destructoid]

Pretty ugly babies with knives for arms, to be exact, and I'm not sure there is a court in the land that would prosecute you for kicking a few of them as they waddle towards you, swinging about their razor-sharp appendages menacingly. Executive Producer Jonathan Knight spoke of this achievement yesterday at EA's Naughty and Nice holiday press event during a discussion of the game's finer points, which aren't just breasts and the odd bit of phallic architecture.

The achievement is similar to the "Kill 1,000 Children" achievement in Fairytale Fights, which might not make it into the final game. I wouldn't worry about EA taking away the "Bad Nanny" achievement though. After all, they've got one of the greatest literary works of all time backing them up.

Dante's Inferno to Feature Kill Unbaptized Babies Achievement [UGO]