Starting this week, we'll be running a weekly Design Challenge. The Design Challenge is an exercise in becoming a game developer, asking you to look at games in a new way — from the perspective of a game creator, producer, marketer, businessperson, and so forth.

Each Wednesday I'll propose a design question. You'll have one week to answer it (see below for how to submit your answers). The following week, the best answers and the names of those who submitted them will be posted along with some commentary.

James Portnow's Design Challenge [GameCareerGuide]

As you can see, I have properly memorialized Corey and the four others to pick April 7: (I'm guessing at correct names here, from their email addresses): Mitchell Tai, Joe VanHoudt, Fred Collin and Donald Walen. Corey was randomly drawn from those five. All of their "autographs" now adorn my Xbox case. More than 160 of you entered, and that was just too many to write on my case, but I thank you all. Keep reading after the jump.

What I hope, is that when this thing dies (it will) and I send it back to Mesquite, some tech craps his jumper when he mindlessly swabs it with alcohol and smears Corey's name — complete with bogus 62/100 notation to make it look like a piece of rare memorabilia — then realizes he's just created another PR disaster and commits seppuku. OK, joking about seppuku. But I'm not going to file any kind of info if I have to send this back, just return it, and see what happens. Maybe we can get Microsoft to fly the five to San Mateo to sign a new case.

Because I bet Microsoft has finally gotten the message about this and is tired of being taken publicly to the cleaners for Halo gear and backstage passes to wrestling events.

Oh, it's a factory refurb (no HDMI on it, drat) which is why it got back lightning fast. Hey, if anyone's ever had serial 900497680905 before, I have your 360. Seriously, tell me if that sounds familiar. This could be like the Where's George of gaming consoles.

Thanks to everyone who entered. I think the five on my box should be part of a fake development team. How about "Desert Bus 2K8"

Perhaps no longer. You can grab an official record this coming Thursday if you live in, or can get to, Brooklyn, N.Y. — and have mad skills in one of five classic arcade games. Guinness World Records is hosting a competition to coincide with the release of its inagural Gamers' Edition.

The five titles up for grabs:

• Fastest Time to Beat Five Boards on Ms. Pac Man
• Fastest Time to Beat Five Boards on Tapper
• Highest Out-Run Score
• Highest Ghosts 'n Goblins Score
• Highest Donkey Kong Score Without Using the Hammer

I like how the records are some feat within the play of the regular game — except for Ghosts 'n Goblins, which is so goddamn impossible that just getting the all time highest score is badass enough. Arcade-History.com says the record is 811,000 points. Good luck with that.

A news release advises that "the public at large is invited to try their hand at the joystick of destiny," provided you're 21 or over and have an ID. (Barcade is, well, a bar.) The event is 7:30 pm Thursday, April 10, and the location is 388 Union Ave., Brooklyn, NY.

My name's Owen Good, I live in Silicon Valley and I'm one of the new weekend editors. As you may have read I worked with Brian on the night shift at our old gig, the Rocky Mountain News. Ordinarily, I'd now throw in a hard-bitten newspaper anecdote with a lot of swear words, but this is Kotaku, not The Wire.

Now, the big elephant in the room is that a lot of you commenters wanted this gig and the fact I once worked with Brian adds a hairy gorilla to the elephant. Everyone hates nepotism except for the nepot. So I realize my obligation to earn my stay here.

Instead, I'll just bribe you.

Here's a super-fun contest to get things started: Guess the date my Xbox 360 returns. Here's the original shipping info, showing Microsoft's brain-replacement factory in Texas received my bricked 360 on March 28. I honestly have no clue when I'll get this back. It's like sending off boxtops for a secret decoder ring and being told 4 to 6 weeks for delivery, except I don't even have that.

I know some of you have bricked multiples of 360s (really, they should put the total in your Xbox Live achievements) and I just popped my first Red Ring Of Death, so to speak. So based on your experiences, and factor in UPS ground shipments, which move as fast as plate tectonics, come up with the date it arrives. It's being shipped to San Mateo, Calif. There's a big UPS hub up in San Pablo, if that helps.

Winner gets McWhertor's Bag o' Schwag, which includes (but is not limited to) a Rock Band hoodie (woot) and an Assassin's Creed faceplate (oh yeah) and whatever other crap McWhertor wants to unload on you. But I promise at least those two things. We'll draw randomly from those who guess the correct/closest date.

Send your entry to kotakucontestATgmailDOTcom with "Owen's Xbox" in the subject header. One entry per email address. We'll take submissions right up to the day it arrives. EDIT: We had it wrong the first time. This e-mail address is correct.

Note: The winning date shall be the first day UPS attempts to deliver it. Attempt shall constitute showing up and leaving a note; calling me to ask WTF is my address since Microsoft will definitely screw that up again and/or, miracle upon miracles, actually putting it in my hands. Price is Right rules are in effect, which means the winner is closest to the delivery date without going over.

And, with all that out of the way, on to the weekend. Thanks for reading, folks.

Unlike previous competitions, all the games are available for perusal right now, and they're not doing individual blog entries to introduce the titles. Still, there's a nice spread and variety, so if you've got some time to waste, wander over and check them out.

Casual Gameplay Design Competition #5 [Jay is Games]

To be eligible for IndieCade, your game must not have funding from a major publisher .... You can have other deals with these publishers; your game just can't. There is no age requirement for submission.

IndieCade has an inclusive submissions policy and invites submission of all styles and genres of games, including PC, browser-based, casual, puzzle, mobile, ARGs, Big Games and installation-based games (submitted via video if not playable on-site), mods (provided they conform to game engine licensing agreements), serious games, activist games, art games, virtual worlds and "sandbox" style games, and more! We also welcome student games and games developed by universities, schools and non-profit organizations. All entries should have a digital component, but hybrid games are not only welcome, but encouraged. Innovation is the name of the game.

That's quite a lot of options. The submission period closes 11 April; games will be judged by a panel, and finalists will be notified by mid-May.

IndieCade Submissions

We expect this competition to shake up conventional wisdom about what constitutes a health game, the market for such games, and the approaches one ought to take in designing great health-related games. We anticipate a wide variety of entries (e.g., existing games, research about games, conceptual game designs that are past the programming stage of development, public or private initiatives for game-based approaches to health and health care, etc.).

Some of the games will likely have been specifically and carefully designed to address health conditions. But, we also hope to discover games that were not originally designed or marketed to improve health but whose application to health and health care has been demonstrated or show significant potential.

Entries close on 27 September.

Why Games Matter: A Prescription for Improving Health and Health Care [via Water Cooler Games]

All these questions and more are yours to explore, with the grand prize of $10,000 and a 360 with Assassin's Creed on the line. The winning film will also be included in the limited edition of the game as well as airing on the IFC channel in November when the game launches.

On behalf of everyone who ends up having to watch the results of these movie contests...please stop. You are hurting us. If you enjoy hurting us, hit the jump for details. Michael Fahey

Ubisoft and IFC Announce Short Film Competition Inspired By Assassin's CreedTM Video Game

SAN FRANCISCO - June 25, 2007 - Today Ubisoft, one of the world's largest video game publishers, and the Independent Film Channel (IFC), the first and largest network dedicated to independent film, announced the creation of a short film contest inspired by the video game Assassin's Creed™ due out in November.

Beginning today, film students, video game fans and media arts aficionados are encouraged to submit their short film of six-minutes or less, based on Assassin's Creed themes for judging via IFC's Media Lab (http://medialab.ifc.com), a ground-breaking, integrated program which offers filmmakers a destination for posting their independent films online. The grand prize winner will receive $10,000, an Xbox 360™ video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, an Xbox 360 version of Assassin's Creed and inclusion of their short film inside the Limited Edition version of the game. The winning film will also be aired on the IFC television network in November to coincide with the launch of the game.

"Assassin's Creed has the cinematic look and feel of an epic movie. This contest allows film makers of all levels a chance to showcase their creativity by expanding upon the mystery and themes of the Assassin's Creed video game," said Tony Key, vice president of marketing at Ubisoft. "Video games, like films, have the ability to tell rich and dynamic stories and the partnership with IFC for the Assassin's Creed short film contest is a way for Ubisoft to show its appreciation to the art. We're excited to see what people bring to the table; I have a feeling we won't be disappointed."

The Assassin's Creed franchise has captured the attention and imagination of video game audiences worldwide and the Assassin's Creed short film contest is an opportunity for fans and others to explore the mysteries and depth of the Assassin's Creed story, providing their own interpretation to what is poised to be one of the year's best video games.

"IFC reaches a tech savvy audience that is passionate about gaming and film, so it is a natural fit for us to team up with Ubisoft and present an Assassin's Creed film making competition. As a multi-platform brand, we fully intend to utilize both our on-air and online presence to make this venture a success," stated Lee Sparer, vice president of partnerships for IFC. "Assassin's Creed is one of the most visually stunning games to date and combined with the tremendously talented filmmakers on Media Lab, we are expecting to see some truly spectacular films."

Finalists will be selected by a panel of IFC and Ubisoft judges and their films will be posted on the IFC Web site, to be viewed and voted on by fans and visitors who will ultimately choose the grand prize winner. Two "runner-up" prizes include $2,500 cash, an Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, an Xbox 360 version of Assassin's Creed and inclusion of their short film inside the Limited Edition version of the game. Their short film will be aired on the IFC television network. Winners will be announced on or before November 30.

The contest runs until April 2, with winners announced on April 25. Further details on the sweepstakes are at the official site, but the full pimped out accessories listing is right after the jump. Michael McWhertor

Pimped Out John Sweepstakes

THINK YOU DESERVE A BETTER BATHROOM THRONE? ROTO-ROOTER IS GIVING AWAY ONE-OF-A-KIND "PIMPED OUT JOHN"

No. 1 Plumbing and Drain-Cleaning Service Provider Creates Ultimate Toilet, Complete with flat-screen TV, DVD Player, Laptop, Refrigerator, Xbox 360, iPod

(Cincinnati, Ohio — January 27, Thomas Crapper Day, 2007) — The average person spends 11,862 hours in the bathroom — which equals one year, four months and five days — in a lifetime. It's amazing the crapper, or as some say, "the toilet," has evolved so little since the Romans invented the latrine in 2500 B.C., with the most significant advance happening when Albert Giblin, an employee of Thomas Crapper, perfected an effective flush toilet in 1898. The days of emperors and queens have ended, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve your very own bathroom throne.

After all, what is a toilet? A private seat of power, a place to escape and experience a few stolen moments of pure solitude. It should be the most wonderful location in your home, but unfortunately, most toilets are bland and boring.

Fear not, boring toilet victims! Thanks to Roto-Rooter , the ultimate toilet now exists. They've developed a customized, one-of-a-kind throne; a truly "Pimped out John," designed to fulfill all of your wildest bathroom dreams. But, you won't find it in stores. Only one lucky person will win this gleaming monument to personal convenience by entering Roto-Rooter's online "Pimped out John," sweepstakes. And, anyone can enter to win at www.rotorooter.com.

Pimped out John
Roto-Rooter's "Pimped out John" is outfitted with every feature a modern king or queen could want in a bathroom throne, and underneath all of the trappings, is a superb Kohler toilet. This amazing commode is fully loaded with the following "luxury enhancements":

Philips 20-inch LCD TV and Star Wars DVD
Xbox 360 gaming system
Philips DVD player
Gateway EMachine laptop computer with fully articulated robot arm
iPod with stereo docking station equipped with toilet paper dispenser
Roto-Rooter "emergency" button
Tivo recorder
Avanti refrigerator with beer tap, stocked with drinks and snacks
Magazine rack and subscriptions to Sports Illustrated, ESPN and GQ
Bike pedal exerciser
Cup warmer / cooler

Are you tired of reading the same jokes in Reader's Digest? We suggest you watch "Star Wars" on your flat-screen TV instead; and chat with your buddies about the fight scenes using your robot-arm-mounted laptop. Bored with the standard crossword puzzle? Try donning your headset to play online multiplayer video games. Picture this: Your refrigerator and magazine rack are stocked with your favorite drinks and monthlies, your bike pedals are giving your quads a run for their money and you're downloading — and listening to — new music on your iPod. After all, if something goes awry, you can always turn to your big red "Roto-Rooter Emergency" button. You'll never want to leave your toilet ever again.

"The bathroom is the perfect place for your very own throne. It shouldn't always be regarded as the room of last resort," contends Steven Pollyea, Roto-Rooter vice president of marketing. "We hope that with the 'Pimped out John,' young people especially, will have a good laugh and think of Roto-Rooter when they need high quality plumbing and drain service."

And, Roto-Rooter technicians will even come to your home to install the Pimped out John! Visit www.rotorooter.com to register to win the "Pimped out John" from January 24, 2007, through April 2, 2007. The lucky winner will be crowned on National Plumber's Day, April 25, 2007.

About Thomas Crapper Day
Thomas Crapper was a well-known inventor and plumber and a pioneer in the advancement of in-door plumbing. He was most known for inventing the "Disconnecting Trap," which became essential to in-door plumbing. This was a great leap forward in the campaign against disease. Crapper held nine patents, four for improvements to drains, three for water closets, one for manhole covers and the last for pipe joints. Every patent application for plumbing-related products filed by Crapper made it through the process, and actual patents were granted. Crapper did not invent the toilet but his employee, Albert Giblin, invented the "Silent Valveless Water Waste Preventer" (No. 814), a symphonic discharge system that allowed a toilet to flush effectively when the cistern was only half full. The device was patented in 1898. Crapper bought the patent rights and was the first to market the modern toilet. Crapper died on January 27, 1910.

About Roto-Rooter
Roto-Rooter was established in 1935 and today is the largest provider of plumbing and drain-cleaning services in the United States and Canada. Roto-Rooter is a wholly owned subsidiary of Chemed Corporation. Roto-Rooter operates businesses in more than 100 company-owned territories and more than 500 franchise territories, serving approximately 90 percent of the U.S. population.

So what does a Night Editor do? He'll take over the site between the hours of 8 P.M. and 8 A.M. mountain time, field requests for editor firings, fix our typos, manage our "after dark" content and run our contests. Watch for hand-offs from Brian to Brian that will get night owls up to speed on what the daytime crowd read and vice versa.

Please note that Ashcraft still retains the titles Chief Pantsu Officer, Executive Vice President of Jubblies, and Distinguished Idolm@ster Fellow. Congrats, Brian A! Michael McWhertor

The December Charity Drive will culminate with a special treat for two children's hospitals in the United States. One children's hospital will receive an Arcade-In-A-Box Home Arcade Console and a second children's hospital will receive a complete Dream Arcades Home Arcade system.

December Charity Drive to Benefit the Child's Play Charity [RetroBlast!]

Tonight's episode of SportsCenter will feature nothing but delicious advertising from our very own hometown hero, the Xbox 360. Nestled between the wisecracks and coverage of today's sports news will be beloved Microsoft ads, including the fan-fave Gears of War "Mad World" spot as well as the premiere of the Cops & Robbers commercial.

This very special episode of the jock must-see program signifies the kick off of the "Ultimate Xbox 360 Experience Sweepstakes" and watching the ads will help you win. Answer a series of five questions online about the ads and you could win a trip to the SportsCenter set or an Xbox 360 package.

Those of you with bedtimes before 11 PM EST can watch the ads online at the contest site. The rest of you night owls should tune in at 8 PM PST/11 PM EST for your chance to win. Keep in mind you're competing with ME so don't try too hard. Michael McWhertor

Ultimate Xbox 360 Experience Sweepstakes

ESPN AND MICROSOFT UNVEIL "THE ULTIMATE XBOX 360 ENTERTAINMENT EXPERIENCE" SWEEPSTAKES ON SPORTSCENTER

Tune in tonight to ESPN's SportsCenter at 8pm PST/ 11:00 pm EST for a sports program packed with an Xbox 360 punch. As the sole advertiser during this special edition of SportsCenter, Microsoft will air a total of seven minutes of national commercial time with compelling Xbox 360 ads such as "Cops and Robbers" and "Mad World." Microsoft and ESPN also kick off "The Ultimate Xbox 360 Entertainment Experience", a three week online sweepstakes with entry through www.Xbox360winitall.com. Viewers will be asked five questions about the commercial spots. If they get three or more correct, they will automatically be entered in the sweepstakes.

Once entered into the sweepstakes, people will have the opportunity to win a variety of prizes, including a free trip to Bristol, Connecticut to visit the set of ESPN's SportsCenter. Additional prizes include Xbox 360 videogame and entertainment systems, an assortment of Xbox 360 games and Xbox 360 accessories. The sweepstakes runs until December 18.

For the first time in the United States, Microsoft will also unveil the "Cops and Robbers" advertisement, which captures the gaming experience as an exhilarating adventure. In addition, viewers will have the opportunity to watch "Mad World," a cinematic commercial for "Gears of War," the new third-person tactical action/horror game developed by Epic Games exclusively for Microsoft Game Studios for the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system. As a testament to the popularity of the game and the response to the advertisement, the commercial has been downloaded online more than 1 million times and has been modified on community websites like YouTube.com in over 100 iterations.

"Gears of War" was shipped in North America on Tuesday, November 7th and has sold more than 1 million copies world-wide in just its first two weeks of release—elevating the game to the fastest-selling original next generation game of 2006.

"Xbox 360 and ESPN are a match made in heaven, as we both speak to the same audience," says Mike Fischer, general manager of U.S. Games Marketing. "The Xbox 360 is the best way to take passion for competitive games, including competitive sports to the next level with the great lineup of hi-def games, including games for every major league sport. This media relationship provides a sweet spot to spread the word about our powerful next-generation Xbox 360 experience."

Xbox 360 as the sole advertiser for the November 28th SportsCenter is a testament to the popularity of the program and the strong demographic tie to the ESPN audience. Ed Erhardt, president, ESPN Customer Marketing and Sales added "We are constantly trying to create ways in which we provide advertisers with an opportunity to break through the clutter for high impact in the marketplace."

SportsCenter is ESPN's flagship news program and provides television's most thorough and entertaining presentation of the day's news in sports. Having revolutionized televised sports news, SportsCenter anchors ESPN, Inc.'s 24-hour news and information franchise.

ESPN televises more than 23 hours of live SportsCenter each week - three times daily at 6:00 p.m. ET, 11:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. Additional live editions of SportsCenter are featured Saturday mornings at 10:00 a.m. and Sunday mornings, currently at 9:00 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. The 1 a.m. (10:00 p.m. PT) SportsCenter is re-aired at 2 a.m., with live updates as needed each night, and on weekdays from 5:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., Saturdays from 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. and Sundays from 5:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m.

About Microsoft

Founded in 1975, Microsoft (Nasdaq "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in software, services and solutions that help people and businesses realize their full potential.

For more information about the sweepstakes, visit www.Xbox360winitall.com on Tuesday, November 28.

Ed Wood and Second Life go together like chocolate and peanut butter. After all, Ed was a director of inspired incompetence; Second Life is an entire virtual world filled with that incompetence.

So we were pleased to get a note from Kotakuite Ben B. telling us that the second annual Ed Wood Machinima Festival is taking place this weekend in Second Life. As he explains:

Ed Wood made films so bad, they were good. This weekend, Second Life residents have 48 hours to make a movie in the spirit of Ed Wood. Halloween Night, 7pm SL time, we will screen these movies IN Second Life at our theatre in Lukanida. Last year, the Ed Wood Festival was Alt-Zoom's first ever machinima festival, and so we are celebrating our first birthday as well by giving out L$60,000 in prize money for Worst Film, Worst Story, Worst Acting, Worst Costumes, and Most Disturbing Film!

You can check out last year's winners over at the official site. And, you know, I may very well finally dust off my furry avatar with the excreting phallus-nipples to make a dashing appearance. Maybe Eliza will deign to be my date. Florian Eckhardt

Ed Wood Machinima Festival [Official Site]

Kotakuite Genki wrote us in with this swank image of a custom painted Guitar Hero controller he gave away at the EB he manages:

, I just wanted to let you know that I manage an EB Games and we held a Guitar Hero 2 tournament this past weekend. I know some of the Kotaku staff are big GH fans, so I wanted to submit a photo of the grand prize we gave to the winner of the competition - a custom-painted guitar controller done by a local tattoo artist (who also works at my store). The enclosed photo shows the guitar in the display case behind our counter and the back of the guitar, which the artist also painted. This was NOT an EB Games event per se....it was something I did on my own, with corporate's approval and Red Octane's assistance (they provided t-shirts and posters and a 10-song demo). The turnout was pretty huge and the store was packed for the Finals on Sunday....the final 2 competitors played Expert VS "Who Was In My Room Last Night", then solo "War Pigs," and then the tie-breaker was solo "Psychobilly Freakout" since that was the hardest song on the demo. I didn't expect either of them to finish the song since they hadn't played it before the tournament, but they both aced it on their first try, with the winning spread being only a dozen or so notes.

Very nice. I need to co-opt a a tattoo artist to spruce up mine. That toy guitar sitting in the corner doesn't have my nocturnally-visiting chicksters thinking "Rock Badd Ass." Florian Eckhardt

Not able to preorder a Wii? Well, here's a fairly substantial chance that you can get one anyway: Toys 'R' Us is planning on giving away 25,000 Wii consoles. All you have to do is find their circulars in your local paper.

Weekly circulars will have two suitecase cutout game pieces, players can cut out the suitecases, go into a Toys R Us store, and opt for a Deal (Scores them a 10% off an in-store item coupon), or a No Deal (Cashier's scan the ticket, lucky winners score a Wii console, or lose their 10% coupon in favor of a 5% coupon).

Players can play once a week as they get the new ads in.

There's also a $1 million prize, including a trip to Los Angeles to attend the show, as if anyone wants that. There's also a handful of other prizes including Nintendo products (non-Wii), Sony products, and Leapfrog products.

I don't really get the rules, but it seems like it's worth a shot. Florian Eckhardt

Toys R Us Giving away 25,000 Wii Consoles [Evil Avatar]

Don't say we never did you any favors, monkeyfriends.

Hey Kotaku, I just wanted to say thanks so much for filling me in on the MTV DS photo contest, because if I wasn't a Kotakuite, I never would have won the grand prize!! My winning photo is up here: http://www.mtv.com/games/video_games/submission/photo/index.jhtml. Thanks again, for helping send two Kotaku readers to their very first zero-g flight (the kid sitting next to me is also a Kotakuite, and I'm taking him with me)! -Jaime

Jaime appears to be rocking his DS on Splash Mountain, or some other camera-equipped coaster, and having twice the fun his hysterical seatmate could possibly manage.

Have fun in zero-g, you little darlings. Send photos! Eliza Gauger

Played Out Contest Winners [MTV]

I know that the zero-g flights aren't actually in space, so don't even bother.

Think you've got what it's take to have a threeway with two Sapphic floozies? Sony is looking for the ultimate God of War cosplayer:

Ever been busted wielding your "Blades of Chaos" when you thought you were alone? Do you pretend your lunch is a health-restoring Green Orb? Have you ever muttered, "The Gods of Olympus have abandoned me" after a bad day? Don't be ashamed—just enter the God of War Ultimate Fan Contest.

Submit an "ultimate fan" video that proves beyond a doubt that you are the biggest God of War fanatic out there. We'll choose two winners and treat them to the definitive God of War vacation: An all-expenses-paid, three-day trip to Los Angeles in October 2006, where they'll visit the God of War development team, play the God of War II pre-release, and meet that god among men, game creator David Jaffe. In addition, the two winning videos will be featured on the PlayStation Underground site and in the "game extras" section of the God Of War II Special Collector's Edition. We'll even extend an invitation to become Gamer Advisory Panel members to the two winners.

Of course, don't bother entering, there's already a winner by default: Yo Soy Kratos. Florian Eckhardt

Ultimate God of War Fan Contest Rules

I believe I over-reached on Kotaku's last batch of seemingly endless contests. While hosting a contest a day for a month wasn't too bad, mailing out the stuff to the winners has been, to put it kindly, quite taxing.

So for awhile, at least, I'm just going to point you to other sites who are doing all of the legwork for game-related giveaways.

Right now Nintendo has a contest up on Buzznet. All you have to do is submit your favorite Nintendo memory and you're entered into a contest for a free DS Lite and a copy of New Super Mario Bros. for you and a friend, or an enemy you just feel like gifting.

And for those of you who won in one of last month's contests, don't worry I'm making headway. I'm about two-thirds of the way through the 31 shipments. Brian Crecente

Nintendo Contest [Buzznet]

The bad news? Price point confusion at 7-Eleven corporate! Or is there? The contest rules clearly define the approximate retail value of one Nintendo Wii, with no games or accessories included in the prize listing. See?

November 1, 2006 through January 31, 2007 the following Instant Prizes will be available to be won: (711) Nintendo Wii, ARV: $299.99 USD ($399.99 CDN) each; and (100) $60.00 USD ($70.00 CDN) Video Game Shopping Sprees awarded in the form of VISA Gift Cards (subject to issuer's terms and conditions).

So, what gives? Are 7-Eleven playing it safe with a higher ARV until Nintendo hammers out the details for its MSRP? Is this a bundle SKU? Have I gone acronym crazy? I wouldn't start cutting out that spare kidney, yet, as I'm fairly confident Nintendo will stick to its promised $249 or lower price point. Michael McWhertor

7-Eleven: Slurpees, stale hot dogs and ... Wii!? (thanks, Blake!)

In honor of my upcoming review of Eets (forecast is good!), the hungry puzzler from VGSmart Press, I'm going to give a little bump to the Eets caption contest currently running over on indie-game blog, Jay Is Games.

To enter, all you have to do is create a great caption for the teaser image to the right. It can be funny, it can be serious, it can be strange, we don't care. Impress us with your creativity and you might just snag a few awesome prizes.

List of prizes after the jump.

The Prizes

1st prize:

* 3 copies of Eets for you and your friends (!!!)
* An Eets level made by CheesyRamen based on your caption
* An Eets t-shirt

2nd prize:

* 1 copy of Eets
* An Eets t-shirt

3rd prize:

* 1 copy of Eets

The Rules

Anyone can enter the Eets Caption Contest, no matter if you're tall, short, hungry or just plain weird (though offer is void where prohibited.) Each person can only submit one caption, so make it your best effort! The contest ends on Thursday, July 27. We'll announce the winners next Saturday. Spread the word and create some great captions.

Send your entries to: EetsContest{at}jayisgames.com Eliza Gauger

Eets Caption Contest [Jay is Games]

Over the weekend, I went down to GAME on Dawson Street. At the counter, I had a small discussion with this man, pictured to the right. Notice that he is wearing a Brain Age t-shirt.

"I'd like to exchange these games for a game that doesn't suck," I said, flinging Brain Age and Sonic Rush on the counter with a contemptuous flick of my otherwise limp wrist.

"You didn't like them?" he asked.

"No. They're terrible. Anyone who likes them is an idiot. That goes for Mr. Precious Brian 'Brain Age 20' Crecente too."

"What didn't you like about them?"

"Well, Sonic is as terrible as any of the Sonic games have been ever since furries started wanking off to the franchise. And I don't particularly like zooming through levels so fast that I can't even see what just hit me. As for Brain Age, I was bored within thirty seconds. It should be called 'Grandma: The "Game"'. I'd like to put a pistol in Dr. Kahashima's smug, chortling face and pull the trigger until I hear 'click click'. Jack Thompson can quote me on that. What the fuck kind of game can't understand the word 'blue'?"

"Brew. BREW. BUH-REW," my anonymous buddy happily intoned. I like the guy, so I decided not to slap his mouth shut. And I'm glad I didn't, because then he explained the Kotaku Effect.

"You know, after you bought the DS Lites here for that contest, we got a lot of phone calls," he said. "What was the question you asked?"

"Oh, I dunno. Crecente made something ridiculous up. Multiply the circumference of the earth by the number of racist references in Loco Roco times the price of a draft of Guinness divided by the square route of Yahweh's true name mathematically expressed and divided by Pi to the 15,000th place." I spat on the floor, as I do whenever Crecente's name is invoked. "I didn't get it."

"You asked about the price of a pint? That explains it: we got a lot of Americans calling, demanding to know the price of a pint of Guinness across the street."

This surprised me: "Wow. How many?"

The GAME employee began counting on his digits, then rolled his eyes up to the heavens as if the number were too innumerable to count. "I don't know. DOZENS! Some of them were girls..." He intoned the word with mystical dread; knowing Eliza, I sympathized.

Anyway, there appears to be a vast clamoring horde of Kotaku readers who wanted to know the price of a pint of Guinness in Ireland, rounded up to the nearest dollar. Well, for the record, pints of Guinness generally cost between 3.80 and 4.20. The pint I purchase was made at Slattery's in Rathmines, and cost 3.80. Translated at the Oanda.com exchange rate for that day, it's about $4.94, or rounded up to the nearest dollar, five bucks.

Feast your eyes, mortals, on the 13-year-old winner's acceptance speech:

Hello my name is Matt Deluca but my friends call me mongoose and I am 13 years old. My gamertag is: phatalerror so you can play me on Mercs2WiF (hopefully it comes out for 360).

I was born in Egg Harbor City NJ but I moved and now I live in Atco NJ. Well I am a student on summer vacation, but I do work for a landscaping company for a summer job!

Some of my favorite video games are: Mercenaries, Halo, Halo2, Call of Duty 2, the Metal Gear Solid Series, and to all my buddies over in Iraq the Tom Clancy Series! But when I'm away from my sweet, sweet 360 I go paintballing with some of my friends.

In 20 years I see myself in the military or on the SWAT team and my specialty would be demolitions or a sniper. And that's me!

Mongoose drew the sword seen on the main contest page and won the contest, beating out a slew of better entries that are visible in the "gallery". The design at the right is not his, but it was my favorite. Imagine actually getting that tattooed onto yourself. Fricking sweet.

Why a sword entwined with roses, Mongoose?

A sword to represent strongness, which is a valuable asset in combat. It would be COOL if Mattias had a sword on his arm though!

Roger that. Carry on. Eliza sweet fancy moses it's a slow news day gauger

Face it, she'd pwn you proper.

This is Japanese pop idol Utada Hikaru, whom everyone agrees looks adorable in glasses. Between bouts of pretending to pinch her little cheeks, and dressing me down for stealing a post about Japan, Bashcraft translated the details of the Tetris promotional contest for me:

• Buy a copy of Tetris during the campaign period, which is through July.
• Register the serial at Club Nintendo.
• When you register, you must CHOOSE: a chance to battle Hikki (only 30 people will be chosen) or be entered for concert tickets (504 pairs of tickets will be given out)

I'd say the concert was the better deal all around, seeing how fast she beats the everloving christ out of that angry man in the video.

She won't even look up from her stooped crouch over her DS when you enter the room, nervous number 22, and will utter no sound as she inflates her screen with your doom and then drops that long piece straight into your cringing nuts, launching a fusillade of raw humiliation directly at your sweating face.

Thanks to Kylara and Jasohill for the linkage, Bashcraft for the verbage, and Hikki for the pwnage. I'll be holding her Hello Kitty towel during the slaughter. Eliza gauger

Contest stuff (in Japanese) [Club Nintendo]

The Black DS Lite that we'll be giving away to the grand prize winner of our string of DS Lite Give-Away contests is now in our grubby, greedy little hands, just waiting to be mailed off to some lucky gamer!

If you care about anything more than the fact that this time we've definitely got one to give away, the entire exciting account after the jump. If not, make sure you enter this week's contest for a chance to win the Black DS Lite!

You might remember our last Nintendo DS Lite contest, in which Brian Ashcraft was meant to secure a fresh new Japanese DS Lite for one lucky Kotakuite mere moments after release. In what would be a single moment in time summarizing his entire life from birth to blogger, Ashcraft abjectly failed. So the winner of our first DS Lite contest went months without getting their beautiful little toy and as proof of his penance, Ashcraft was forced to chop off the tip of his pinky with a ginsu knife and mail it off to Crecente, who promptly tore open the UPS box and devoured the rotting but well manicured morsel. It was a grisly fiasco.

Tasked with purchasing a Black DS Lite in Dublin to send off to the grand prize winner of our current Kotaku DS Lite Give-Away, I was not eager to repeat Ashcraft's mistakes, nor emulate his incompetence. So two weeks ago, I went down to GAME on Dawson Street, slapped 60 on the table and pre-ordered three Black DS Lites. One for Kotaku, one for me, one for Joel Johnson to sell on eBay after a preliminary temper tantrum about the price when translated from Euros to American Dubyos.

"Okay, so I'm pre-ordering three. So they're definitely going to be here, right?" I asked one pallid Dawson Street GAME drone.

"Definitely."

"Absolutely?"

"Positively."

But I still didn't trust him, so I called over the manager and posed the same question. He also promised me that there was "no way" that I wouldn't have three shimmering ebony DS Lites in my possession on the morning of the 23rd.

I squinted my eyes dangerously: "Okay..." I said. "I believe you. But I think it's only fair to warn you that I am a man with a gross predilection for insane acts of crippling physical violence. I'm a blogger. I'm motherfuckin' CRAZY. Are you familiar with Mario?"

The manager's face went pale, his adam's apple quivered. After a dry gulp, he nodded, eyes wide in terror. In retrospect, I don't know what I would have done if he didn't know Mario, but as he did, I channeled Denzel Washington from Training Day — spittle flying from my face, my hands doing an insane pantomime of the act of strangulation &mdash and proclaimed that S.O.B. Mario had nothing on me. What I was going for was the insinuation that I would jump on his head so hard that he'd crap out his entire spinal column, but I'm not quite sure how he translated it. Either way, the threat worked.

"Sir," he stuttered. "I promise you that there will be no problem."

But I still wanted to make sure that I kept my pinkies for Guitar Hero so I set my alarm for 4am so I could go and camp out in front of GAME in the gloam of launch day dawn. But then I slept through it, waking up only 15 minutes from store opening. Panicked, I rushed out the door, throwing a tweed jacket quickly over my Lil Red Devil pajamas.

But, as you can see from the photo gallery above, there was little to fear. Ireland, at least, had plenty of Black DS Lites to go around. Unlike the cannibalistic feeding frenzy of the Japanese launch, the only crowd that surrounded the Dawson Street GAME this morning was a collection of about five or six smelly and bedraggled gamers. Disappointing, really. As a man capable of insane acts of crippling physical violence, I was hoping that I'd at least need to do some eyeball gouging to secure one.

In fact, the whole of the Irish launch of the DS Lite was depressingly well handled. The staff at GAME were earnest, competent and friendly. They told me that although their company had sold-out of Nintendo DS Lites through pre-order nationally, they had spares to sell to people who walked in, even though they'd previously told me they'd only be selling them by pre-order. So if you're Irish and want a DS Lite, the Dawson Street shop is the one to go to.They were even nice enough to let me take a picture and post it on this blog. A swell bunch of guys.

You might notice that I included a picture of a used copy of Mario & Luigi 2 in the set. Why? Because every time I make a post claiming that game companies are ripping Europeans off, someone always enters the comment section to tell me I'm full of crap. Notice the price for a used copy of M&L2: 39.97. That's fifty dollars for a game that some joker has already gunked up with a slime comprised of cheese-and-onion crisp powder and human saliva. In comparison, it goes for new for $35 in the States. The Black DS Lite itself retails over here for 150. That's $190 each... almost 50% more expensive than it's US price.

Anyway, the bottom line is I'm now sitting on the Black DS Lite we'll be giving away at the end of next week. I've been playing (and drinking) with mine, and it's absolutely beautiful. One lucky Kotakuite should have it in their hands within the next couple weeks. Will it be you? Enter our two remaining DS Lite give-away contests and secure your chance to get it... from Ireland with love! Florian Eckhardt

Friday Night Lites Round 4: Rock and Roleplaying

Aspiring tattoo artists take note! The character design team over at Pandemic has been snorting Pixy Stix out of each other's navels for the past three days, and they are tired. And if there's one thing I've learned at Kotaku Headquarters in the few weeks I've been here, it's that only through great adversity (and vageuly homoerotic sugar bingeing), are great gaming ideas born.

To spare their delicate artists further trauma, Pandemic Studios has launched a contest to decide what will be indelibly poked into main mercenary Mattias' arms:

For the upcoming Mercenaries 2: World in Flames, Pandemic Studios is calling for their fans to contribute to the design of the lead character, Mattias Nilsson. In "Design the Ink" - the current Mercenaries 2 contest - Pandemic is currently accepting original tattoo designs for the lead Mercenary. The winner will have his or her name featured in the credits and Mattias will actually wear the winning design in the final released version of the game!

Shut down that pirated copy of Illustrator, no tribal designs are being accepted! Also on the "no" list are nudity, profanity, or copyrighted works. So that charming rendering of Samus, in dishabille, dropping a fat f-bomb in a speech bubble, will just have to remain in your My Pictures folder a trifle longer. Very sorry. Eliza Gauger

Design the Ink Contest [Mercenaries II site]

Does your nasally falsetto cause glistening, beefy he-men to kick sand in your face and steal your girlfriend, who is actually your elderly mother? Are you a woman? Does your voice sound like a thousand sows belching in unison?

Good, you're just what I'm looking for. Activision is holding a contest to be the voice of Jean Grey or Bruce Banner in the upcoming Marvel: Ultimate Alliance. While it is unlikely you'll be accepted, I dream of your voice effetely lisping out of the Incredible Hulk's six-foot thorax or farting from between Marvel Girl's luscious, fig-like lips. This is prime practical joke territory across which we bravely tread.

If you do manage to win (largely through surreptitious palm greasing and random chance in a godless universe) you will receive: "an XBox 360, a copy of the Marvel: Ultimate Alliance game, a poster signed by Stan Lee, a pack of Marvel: ultimate Alliance playing cards and a trip to Los Angeles to record [your] lines and meet the producers." Golly? Really? A real live producer? Don't let your heart explode there, champ. FLORIAN ECKHARDT

Win The Chance to be Jean Grey or Bruce Banner! [Official Site]

Bad news folks: they're just going to get harder. So if you read: "If you search for the story you'll come to the month that leads the first sentence. Perhaps the third month isn't the only one Caesar should beware," and thought to yourself "What the shit?" maybe you'd be better off entering FHM's DS Lite Contest instead.

With questions like "What is a warp zone?" you'd practically need your brain to be running like porridge out of your ears to choke on the mile-high limbo bar to entry on this one. And you win a year's subscription to a thinly veiled softcore porn mag to boot! For Kotaku's constabulary of idiot or just downright horny readers, a better contest all around. FLORIAN ECKHARDT

FHM's Nintendo DS Lite Contest

Retro Remakes is sponsoring a huge honking contest to create the best remake of a classic video game. There's 3692 worth of prizes to be won for "Good remakes of good games that anyone can play, regardless of their ability."

We're puzzled by that last qualification: certainly, developing a game for people with, say, amniotic banding syndrome in mind is a rather large requirement to win a copy of a 2D scroller programming book. We assume, then, that what they really mean is "Good remakes of good games that even the stupid and incompetent can play." A lofty, if perhaps equally out of reach, goal.

So if you're a dev who has just always wanted to give birth to a Frogger clone but never could justify the time, head on over and check it out. The prizes look quite good and the world could always use some more retro clones. FLORIAN ECKHARDT

Retro Remakes: The Big 2006 Compo [Retro Remakes]

Unlike most easter eggs, these World of Warcraft inspired egg creations will not finish their brief ovum existence dramatically hurled at the side of my kid sister's head. Which is just as well, because some WoW players really poured every ounce of cool they've got into these things.

Ah, the easter egg! The most transient and fragile of the true artist's mediums!

Noblegarden Contest Winners [WoW Europe]

If you like material possessions that say "I am a gamer with a hoarding problem" check out Gamespot's guide to schwag procurement. They're even running a contest that could net you a big bag of E3 junk that will not only take up space in your attic, but possibly up your gaming cred.

Also included: a photoshoot with the site's editors sporting all manner of giveaway goodness. Go and covet their Katamari prince hand puppet, then tell Crecente to mail me his. MICHAEL MCWHERTOR

Pieces of Flair [Gamespot]

So I won't be entering Gibson's Guitar Hero Air-Off. But dammit! You should. Metallica, Tool and Guns & Roses will all be there. You'll be able to take the stage along with some real rock gods and show them what style over actual ability is all about! FLORIAN ECKHARDT

Gibson Sponsors Guitar Hero Air-Off [Eurogamer] (via our own wonderful Alice)

All you have to do to get a chance to kick the snot out of Nacho Libre himself is go to XBox.com and fill out an entry form. A lucky few will not only Black's gamer tag and the ability to make him eat their dust, but a private screening of his latest film in their hometown. - Florian Eckhardt

Jack Black Ready to Race on Xbox Live [XBox.com]

But Lewis seems to have realized that there are more cerebral ways to pulverize your opponent — he's decided to accept open chess challenges through King.com, aiming to prove that he's more than a beautiful yet still pretty fucking terrifying body. Better yet? Anyone who beats Lewis gets $1000.

I don't mean to impugn the chess talents of a man who is punched upside the head for a living, especially since he could kill me, but does anyone else think this is a bit fishy? $1000 bucks isn't chump change... it adds up. Lennox Lewis would have to be pretty excellent to compete with some of the guys who regularly play chess online. We smell a fix somehow. - Florian Eckhardt

(Edit: Here's a description of a game a journalist played against Lewis. He's described as "not bad" by a former challenger of Kasparov, which the journalist assures us is high praise.)

Knock Out Lennox Lewis - In Video Game Chess? [GameSetWatch]

First off, our lovely girlfriend Alice over in Wonderland is giving away four free copies of Guild Wars: Factions, which she calls "boxen." Like the boxen of Alice herself, the contest is only open to Europeans. All you have to do is go over and send her an email. The winner will be drawn randomly

Not one of Europe's god-like gaming Adonises? Still want a free MMORPG? Well, you're in luck: MMO Portals is giving away a year's subscription to World of Warcraft. Simply follow the link and join their forums.

Best of luck!

GuildWars.com has announced the winners of its recent Design-A-Weapon contest; there are 8 top picks—check them out here. I am loving this hardcore bow.

Plus, in a nice little move, Guild Wars have also announced that it's going to incorporate as many of the honorable mentions as it can in the upcoming Factions expansion.

Coolness.

Guild Wars Design-A-Weapon Winners [GuildWars.com]

How's about this for a shiny contest: NCSoft is offering the chance for your weapon design to be immortalized in the coming-soon second chapter of Guild Wars.

Fear not, they're not asking for 3D models — just sketches, drawings, pen-and-ink, hell, back of an envelope if you like.

The next release of Guild Wars will feature new weapon types, but for now you should design around the traditional Guild Wars items:

* Axe
* Bow
* Focus Item
* Hammer
* One-handed Sword
* Shield
* Staff
* Wand

Guild Wars Design-a-Weapon Contest [NCSoft]