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Regurgitation takes time

Spore Penis Monsters Impress Will Wright
Comment by: Mister_Jack
Nominated by: Aex

You hear that people? He's impressed! This is a sign! If we impress him enough, he might decide to hire us to be on his design team! More! Send him more! Flood his inbox with screenshots of Cockzilla and Donkey Dong! DICKS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!!

Invaders! Indeed No Longer Playable At GC 08
Comment by: adocious
Nominated by: Cor-Wii

After three days of gleefully enjoying my piece's escalating publicity, I have just given my agreement to the organizers of the Leipzig Games Convention to simply turn off the installation Invaders! While I realize the arrogance of believing only the lowest common denominator might find issue with my "art," unfortunately my current understanding of "art" has totally obfuscated any potential aims of the piece. While I take full responsibility for the uncomfortable idiocy and irrelevance of this work, it was created merely to provoke controversy for publicity's sake. The American response to this work has been, frankly, predictable for obvious reasons, and lacking the "sophistication" and "consideration" that other parts of the world that weren't part of the national tragedy I made light of have shown in the work. I am an American, and it saddens me that we as a people remain so profoundly able to process "art" as a cry for attention and publicity by criteria of purely self-serving "artistic" representation. Due to these profound insights into my pathetic attempts to capitalize "artistically" on tragedy, I simply feel that from a business perspective, the work has lost the ability to advance my career, monetarily or otherwise. I have not been pressured by the Leipziger Messe, nor by the Computerspiele Museum in this decision - to the contrary, they have offered their support in defending the right of "artists" to offend in order to gain personal attention freely, and in whatever context they choose.

Douglas Edric Stanley

New PS2 Models Hitting US Stores
Comment by: Skunky
Nominated by: Essonse

They should market this new model as the "PS3 Backwards Compatibility Upgrade Kit" and show a picture of the PS2 duct-taped onto the top of a PS3.

Comment by: tzaketh
Nominated by: Karl Marx Vladimirs Linens

This is actually the best way this could have ended, I believe. No legal action was taken to remove it. There was no pressure, no censorship. Lots of people were offended by the piece, exercised their free speech in condemning it and letting the "artist" know they did not approve, and he removed it of his own volition. There was no censorship here. This is how freedom of speech is supposed to work. No one can force you to stop saying anything you believe, the government cannot step in and make you stop saying what you believe— but others have the free speech to drown you out, and make sure their contrary viewpoints are heard.

In my own opinion? There was no artistic value to that piece. It was created for controversy's sake, and the artist himself doesn't know what it's even supposed to mean, considering he changes his mind so much. I'm not all that offended as an American, because frankly, 3,000 people killed is tiny when compared with the civilian casualties in almost any other war since the invention of gunpowder. But I still think the work was boring, pointless, a waste of space, and worst of all, designed specifically to piss people off so this wannabe can get his name in the public eye.

Download Eight Hours of Arcade Cacophony
Comment by: Knoxximus (360/PSN)
Nominated by: Witzbold

I remember when Street Fighter 2 mania 1st hit Oahu, Hawaii.

My best friend up the street had the TurboGrafx-16 CD ROM with Fighting Street, and we played that shit all day long, trying to perfect fireballs, dragon puches, and hurricane kicks on that stiff ass d-pad. We would make jokes about how if they made a SF2, how all the combatants would be from different countries...and then we'd start imitating the announcer while saying different countries:

"Spaaaaaain"
"Porrrrtugaaaaal"
"Braaaazil"
"Afffffffrica"

We would crack our selves up trying to imagine what these various challengers would look at, all the while passing the controllers around to take turns with Ken and Ryu, the only playable characters in SF1 (for the uninitiated).

Then one day I went to their house, and his little brother and mother had just gotten back from the mall. I remember standing behind their minivan in the garage as my friends little brother pipped up with:

"They got Street Fighter 2 at Fun's!" (Slang for the Fun Factory, an arcade at the Pearlridge mall)

"Yeah right."

"Serious!"

"Come on, man....quit playin' with me. Shut up."

Then he started trying to describe the new challengers, like a big Russian wrestler whose "name starts with a Z", and "this Chinese chick. The announcer said 'Chiiinaaa" just like us!". So this went on for a little while, and just when I was starting to buy it, he went and said:

"...and there's this guy from Brazil. Name starts with a B...Banka or something...Blanka! Yeah, Blanka. He's green and makes electricity!"

That was when I was convinced that he was really in rare form and that I was being had. But he was so passionate about it I just played along after awhile. Kids will be kids, I thought. Granted, this was WAAAAAAAAAY before any type of internet or consistent news.

So the next weekend I go to the mall and hit the movies. I didn't even stop by the arcade 1st cause I was running late for the movie. So I get out of the movie, and the Friday night crowd afterschool/weekend crowd is in full effect. The escalator coming down (movieplex was on the 2nd level by itself) faced the Fun Factory. As I was riding down the escalator, I observed something I would never forget.

1st of all, the arcade had a LARGE opening, like no doors. They pulled those screen gates at closing to lock it up. The entrance itself was like the average mall stores width, like a gaping maw into heaven. Whenever they got a new, hot game, they would place 1-3 machines of said game near the front to attract attention.

There was a line coming out of it....a line that looked like people were waiting to watch Return on the Jedi on it's opening night. It stretched out of the arcade and passed in front of at LEAST 2 other stores ( a coffee shop and Foot Locker, if I remember correctly). I was like WTF is that about?

I hit the ground floor, stroll my way to where the line began, and lo and behold at the front of the arcade was two SF2 machines in all of their 16-bit, joysitcks-not-busted-yet glory. Brand SPANKING new.

I was in shock. I could NOT believe it. My boy's little brother was NOT FIBBING. There WAS a guy from Brazil named Blanka who could autonomously GENERATE ELECTRICITY. I stood there, transfixed. It was like a dream come true. I didn't dare get in that line that night....I came back and played it another day. But I watched it for a good hour and a half, mesmerized. The arcade tech came to empty the token basin of each machine at least once. Someone would accidentally do a special move (no gamefaqs back then) and everyone would let out a great big "OHHHHHHHH!!!".

It was epic. And I wish things where still like that when Street Fighter 4 hits.

Good times.

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Nice to see Microsoft making some strong sales in Japan, but no one had the forethought, with all the work they've put into Japanese-friendly software partnerships this year, to a least divert some consoles from other territories to Japan just in case their moves paid off? They work hard to get Last Remnant, Tales, Star Ocean IV, XIII, and Infinite Undiscovery on the 360 and then don't adequately prepare for the possibility these plans could work? That's a little strange. Usually I don't plan on my strategies failing— I understand the possibility, but I don't take a course of action unless I believe it will work. Apparently I've been doing it wrong.

Electronic Arts, Take-Two Break It Off, But Not For Long
Comment by: Quilt
Nominated by: karl_hungus

I'll say what a friend of mine says to me when I'm persuing a girl and fail:

"Did you ask her out?"
Yup, it didn't work.

"Did you bring her flowers?"
Yup, it didn't work.

"Did you take an interest in her hobbies?"
Yup, it didn't work.

"Did you tell her how you felt?"
Yup, she laughed.

"Did you try holding her down?"
Yu...wait, what?

Forgive Dad, He Knows Not What He Does
Comment by: The_Inquisitor
Nominated by: FP Bleentastic has cake

That's a pretty sturdy tree, not falling over from the weight of that thing.

Lionhead Patches Fable Pub Games Glitch, Community Offers Advice For Earning Big.
Comment by: Moonshadow101
Nominated by: liquid_kore

Step one: Disconnect from the internet.
Step two: ???
Step three: Profit!

Artist Explains WTC Space Invaders Exhibit at Games Convention
Comment by: wild homes loves you but chooses...
Nominated by: ca$h

We've made September 11, 2001 into a campaign platform, movies and miniseries, books, and justification to spend the lives of Americans to hunt down foriegn nationals on foriegn soil, a justification for detaining and torturing foreign nationals. We've allowed the events of that day to be turned into a climate of fearmongering that exists seven years later— we've allowed the telecommunications industry to spy on the people of our country, in the name of September 11, 2001. We as a nation implicitly condoned a culture of racial discrimination as a result of September 11, 2001. We as a population of the most powerful nation on Earth have willingly stood by to survive both the commercial and political exploitation of an attack on our country— stood by and watched as frightened reactionary voices fought to violate human rights and human decency for money and agendas. We endure all that, and yet some of you would talk about wanting to hurt another human being for using September 11, 2001, as a means to make a fairly harmless statement, even if an obvious and tasteless one, about exactly how we've failed to deal with September 11, 2001. That's just repulsive. You stand by while those events are used to justify criminal behavior and corruption and crass exploitation, but you get angry when someone exercises his constitutional rights? I don't know what that is, but it's not patriotism.

Want to nominate comments? Send to tips any insightful or funny comments you read from other commenters. (Read: NOT YOURSELF). Be sure to include the post's URL, the commenter's page, the actual comment and your commenter page.

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Here for your approval and general discussion our the top five Kotaku commenters. I'll be posting a poll on Monday and then, after discussion with the other Kotaku writers, announcing the new Comment Czar on Tuesday.

If you're on the list and don't want to wield the mighty banhammer for some bizarre reason make sure to drop me a line and I'll cut you from the list.

EnigmaNemesis
TheIrishNinja
Spoony Bard
PapaBear434
DaiMacculate

Hit the jump to vote. And remember, we still have the final say.

We were originally going to pull the names from the hat on Monday, but I've decided to push things back to today. So you still have one more chance to throw your hat in for the job.

Become Kotaku's Next King of Comments

Become Kotaku's Next King of Comments [Kotaku]

So we're on the prowl for a comments moderator of sorts, a gatekeeper to Kotaku Tower, if you will. Someone who will prowl the posts and comments on a daily basis, weeding out the bad, helping out the conversation, anointing new readers.

We can only pay $200 a month for your help, but you do get to wield the mighty banhammer and will be given the keys to the commenting gates. If you remain interested, hit the jump for how to apply. Yes, there is a contest (of sorts) involved.

This is how it's going to work. On June 30, we're going to beg our tech geniuses to track down the five Kotaku commenters with the most followers. The top five who want to do this will all then have to explain, in comments, why they should be made the commenting czar. We'll use our own good judgment, and a pinch of public sentiment, to elect the new czar who will also rule for a six month stint, unless the trolls get him or her first.

There's really no way to get a follower other than by getting other people decide to follow your comments. They do that by logging in and then clicking on the little plus sign symbol next to your comment in a post. Of course your followers will all have to be commenters, so make sure they sign up on the site.

If we catch you cheating we'll kick you out of the contest. So play nice. Don't even attempt to cheat.

Ps. Yes, that's Witz in the video.

What's the point of this game? I don't get it...

totally joking, I can't WAIT for this title. I doubt I'll be able to peel my fiancee away from it once it's out. She squeals whenever she sees footage for this game. Why I can't get her to squeal like that saddens me.

LittleBigPlanet Killzone
Comment by: mrantimatter
Nominated by: liquid_kore

@TitillatedOcelot
have you considered dressing up in a burlap sack and putting stickers all over the bedroom? Might work.

Wait, I'm a Zombie
Comment by: tsathoggua
Nominated by: Slatz_Grobnik

This "zombie mod" is grossly offensive to the zombie community. The
Association of Metabolically-Challenged Persons Against Harmful
Stereotypes, the international lobbying group for zombies, has just
released a press statement earlier this morning making clear that they
intend to sue Rockstar and Take-Two for perpetuating the stereotypes
that have haunted the zombie community for decades. And for not
including any zombie prostitutes.

Hyper Multi-Tap: A Week In Comments
Comment by: Cola82
Nominated by: 17-A

GTAIV doesn't make me feel like a man while playing... that could be because I'm a woman, and I like being a woman, and I'm not intimidated by assuming the identity of protagonists of the opposite sex.

*cough*

Wii Fit To Little Girl: You're Fat
Comment by: battra92
Nominated by: Bashcraft

I think a lot of people are in denial of being fat, chubby, overweight, obese, whatever.

For me, I was told I was fat since I was in kindergarten. I was almost 12 lbs at birth and have had issues my entire life about my weight.

Part of my problem was that my parents and grandmother would tell me, "Oh you're a big guy so it's ok to eat two hamburgers." or in some cases really demand I finish my plate. Of course, once I realized they were fat it became clearer.

What really took me back was at the end of my last year at college I was 250 lbs! After that I decided I had to do something - ANYTHING!

First thing I did was cut out regular soda and switched to diet. I know people will complain that's not much better but when you were downing the equivalent of 5-6 Pepsis a day, the switch to 3 diet Pepsis is worlds better. I also gave up on going to fast food places on a regular basis and when I do, I get a kids meal.

I really never gave anything up, I just made food less important for me. 1 year later my scale tells me I'm below 230 and with my height that makes me now overweight again (instead of obese)

Wii Fit probably will tell me I'm fat but oh well. I don't really care. I know I'm losing slow and steady so it will be nice to track that. Now if I just can convince my work to pay for it if they can be made to believe it's exercise equipment.

Want to nominate comments? Send to tips any insightful or funny comments you read from other commenters. (Read: NOT YOURSELF). Be sure to include the post's URL, the commenter's page, the actual comment and your commenter page.

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Indiana Jones isn't racy, unless your son is really young. I thin I was about 10 when my father watched Raiders with me, and I'm well adjusted. At least, I like treasure and hate Nazis.

Confessions of an ESRB Employee
Comment by: 108
Nominated by: ggodo

While we're at it, what's with the "EC" ("Early Childhood") rating? If "E" is for "Everyone", and "Everyone" means "all human beings", does that mean that the ESRB considers young children to not be human beings?

I must say, anything that looks you right in the eye while it's taking a shit can't quite be any more than a lowly animal, though hey, give them a chance — they get old enough to hold guitars, eventually. They evolve, like Pokemon.

Or:

If "EC" is for games meant to be suitable to young children — as in, games that require no reading skills, et cetera — then shouldn't "E" for "Everyone" be changed to "EwcR" — "Everyone who can Read"?

Or is this a moot point because understanding the name of that rating, itself, requires reading skills?

Or:

You know what would be a hell of a challenge for a game developer? Make a game that's rated "EC" and still a deep, full experience on par with Shadow of the Colossus.

Let's see Jonathon Blow make that.

Yes!

Stuff We Already Know About Female Gamers: Now In A Study!
Comment by: ach77
Nominated by: onomeister

I am a female gamer who has never played the Sims, and never wants to. I know, that makes me an anomaly.
I have a question for all of these people saying "oh, looks like most of those female gamers are 'casual'". Are you defining casual by the amount of time played, or the types of games/platforms played, or some combination of both?
I ask because people seem to be saying that Sims = casual, and DS = casual, across the board. Is this really accurate? Would you call a total Sims addict who plays 20 hours a week "casual"? If so, why? Because that person isn't playing an FPS or other suitably "hardcore" game? And it seems like a majority of Kotaku readers own a DS, so why is it automatically casual? Am I a casual player if I enjoy Professor Layton, Phoenix Wright, Contra, FFTA, etc on my DS?
It seems like a lot of people think that the subject matter of the games you play determines whether or not you're "hardcore". By this logic, you're "hardcore" if you play any FPS (or TPS like Gears of War), games like Devil May Cry, God of War, Ninja Gaiden...you know, the "manly" games. Whereas you're a "casual" player if you play things like Mario, Rock Band, Professor Layton, Cooking Mama and yes, the Sims, no matter how many hours per week you play them. Games like Uncharted, Rachet & Clank, Oblivion, etc seem to inhabit some sort of grey area.
From a marketing perspective, I suppose that the number of gaming platforms you own also factors into the equation. Someone who games only 10 hours per week but owns 2 consoles, a handheld and a PC is probably a more valuable target and has more "hardcore" potential for game companies than someone who only owns a PC but plays WoW or Sims 25 hours per week.
The point of this long diatribe, I guess, is that there is room in this market/community for more than one type of hardcore gamer. And on average, female hardcore players may very well play different things than male hardcore players. The gaming community, especially developers and publishers, would do well to recognize this.

Infogrames Want to Buy What's Left of Atari
Comment by: cowboyman

I really hate people who make fun of failing corporations like Atari, THQ, Midway. (Yes, Im looking at some commenters at this thread). Fair enough, they release bad games more than everyone else, but they are the ones that produce some of the most original content, unlike "successful" corporations who rely on formulaic games.

Lest we forget, Rockstar (an unknown publisher then) self-released GTAIII and was supposed to publish Halo (til Bungie moved to MS); Midway published Burnout (when nobody thought arcade racers would be profitable); THQ published Company of Heroes (one of the best strategy games of the recent years) because no one else wanted to; Atari Neverwinter Nights (when Bioware was still seen as a non-mainstream developer); and many more equally deserving.

My point is that these publishers deserve not our ridicule. They might be guilty of releasing bad games (like ALL publishers!), but at least they are the ones ready to publish new and original IPs "successful" publishers ignore.

Man Hack Bejeweled, Wins Wife
Comment by: designateddrival

Nerds can also unlock the Girls achievement. Huzzah!

Gary Gygax's Video Gaming Legacy
Comment by: Islandkiwi

I owe this man a lot. When I was a kid in the late 70's - early 80's, D&D was a new kind of experience. Playing it with my friends allowed us to puzzle-solve, deduce logically, and think creatively. I mean, you could create your own stories. We branched out to Gamma World, Top Secret, then there were the new games like Ultima and...what was that car one, we friggin' loved that game.

The point I'm trying to make is that D&D opened a creative door that got me and my friends thinking, rather than being mindless hooligans we became thoughtful hooligans. The result has been an explosion of sci-fi/fantasy books, games, and movies. From a more personal perspective it allowed so many of us to think...we always think learning takes place in the classroom, but for many of us learning also took place in small groups, with small statues and dice.

I stopped playing sometime in intermediate school, but I went on to college and law school and became the man I am today. Games like D&D encouraged creativity and critical thinking, and I personally believe that the experience of putting my brain to use helped me get to where I am today. And it's funny, even twenty years later I can still recall some of those missions I played with my friends. They were good times, and I thank Mr. Gygax for inviting us all to play.

Game Industry Turns Tables on the Press
Comment by: quen

I want to come out strongly against the 'maturer than thou' crowd who claim to have grown out of review scores.

I'm 31 and I definitely use scores (especially metacritic) as a filter for buying games. It's easy to tell from the text of a good review what type of game something is, whether it sounds like the sort of thing I'd like... but usually hard to tell how good it is, beyond the 'abysmal' or 'fantastic' exceptions. Most games are basically OK, but I don't usually want to play games that are basically okay. It can be hard to tell the difference between basically okay (about a 7 on most of the stupid review scales) and actually good (about an 8) just from the words.

If there's a game I know about and am looking forward to (say, the new Phoenix Wright game - yes I know it came out a little while back, I haven't picked it up yet) then I probably won't bother looking at reviews at all, unless I start hearing bad things about it or something. If I did, though, I might check the score wasn't really bad. A 6 would make me rethink the purchase. More usually if there's a new game which kind of sounds cool but I don't know much about it, I'll definitely be more interested if it gets an 8 or so.

Another advantage of scores is that you don't necessarily want to be given details of the plot or gameplay. Some games are better unspoiled. You can look at a review score and if it's high enough then you don't need to worry about such details.

The other issue with reading reviews is that some reviewers dislike good games (and vice versa). Say I read the 1Up review, the guy from 1Up didn't like the game, does that mean I shouldn't buy it? probably not if everyone else likes it. That's why, in terms of picking games to buy, a metacritic score is so much more valuable than any single review score - and also than the text of any single review.

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He doesn't want no stinking plaque or trophy! Send the man to space for God's sake...that's what he really wants! What Richard Garriott can go, but we can't afford to send him? The guy is inspiring millions of kids to want to be astronauts and build things instead of destroy them.

Zero Punctuation Doesn't Hate Crysis
Comment by: dowingba
Nominated by: geekgrrl

RE5 is racist because you kill black people. San Andreas was racist because you play a black person. Basically, if a game has any black people in it, it's automatically racist.

Mass Effect Political Dickery "Corrected"
Comment by: SuperPope
Nominated by: Witzbold

I sent him this letter:
I am a 32 year old conservative Christian. I've been happily married to my high school sweetheart for 10 years now and have a smart, well-behaved six year old son. I have a degree in fine art and am a successful Flash animator and web graphics designer. I have also been an avid fan of videogames since the age of three, so despite all of these stated facts and what they may imply about my intelligence and character, I suppose you would simply lump me in with your invented "Gamer-Nerd" stereotype.
My wife gave me Mass Effect for Christmas. It is a fantastic game from start to finish. I had been slightly concerned about the "sexual content" which I had heard about on the Internet as people discussed this developing game. As it turns out, all the controversy amounts to nothing more than an optional 30 second footnote to a 60 hour epic story.
The developers of Mass Effect have gone to great lengths to create a believable world full of moral decisions and their resulting consequences. It is unfair of you to paint it as an intergalactic orgy simulation. In fact, without a correct retraction of your almost wholesale misrepresentation of the game's content I can think of no reason why Bioware would not win a lawsuit against you. So in an effort to help you correct yourself once more — this time armed with objective truth — I will attempt to explain plainly why your statements have no basis in fact.
First of all, you spend your entire article "Life Lessons: GAMER Nerds' 'Rights' to Lesbo-Alien Sex!" making ad hominem attacks on the people who responded to your initial article. Let me make something plain: You know nothing about this game and are guilty of libel. This statement is true no matter how ineloquent and childish the person who points it out is.
You said, "I still concur, to me these acts are the most realistic put in video games - that I have seen."
While this is clearly a true statement (since you have limited your videogame experience to what you've seen on YouTube), it is misleading. If this is the most graphic sex that videogames have to offer, then the videogame world must not be sliding down that slippery slope of unbridled debauchery just yet, as any moviegoer since the early 1960s has seen more graphic depictions of nudity and sexuality in the first five minutes of a James Bond film. Those movies were rated PG, by the way.
You wrote this: "2. 'One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images...' Evidently the only thing I got wrong on this was the breast size, though I would like someone to explain to me how the female characters end up having different sizes again on the YouTube footage I witnessed with my own eyes... But the rest of it was true. race, hair style, color - etc."
Wrong. The only thing you got RIGHT was that you could choose a hair style, and that ONLY OF YOUR OWN CHARACTER at the very beginning of the game.
Next, you wrote this: 3. "...the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of."
Wrong again. The imaginary game you describe would be rated Adult Only and would not be sold at any Wal-Mart, Target, GameStop, or Best Buy on the planet.
If you begin the game as a male you can, through conversation choices, foster a friendship with either a human female or a blue-skinned alien. If you begin the game as a female you can form a relationship with a human male crew member or the same blue-skinned alien. Then, if you so choose (once again through careful conversation choices throughout the 60 hours or more of playing through adventure after adventure and working to unravel the problems facing the galaxy) you may share the brief moment that you witnessed on YouTube. That's it. There is no "humping" as you so rashly put it. There is merely a stylized, out-of-focus scene which implies that some form of sexual intercourse has taken place. You make it sound like it is an important game dynamic, or even the ONLY aspect of the game, and that you have actual "creative" control of the event.
I am not so naive as to assume that this letter has persuaded you to start caring for the truth or to admit your grievous error. There's clearly not much money in that for a "journalist" such as yourself. But I supposed there is a small part of me that hopes that any reasonable person who claims to be defending our society's very moral fiber would realize that lies and a blind allegiance to our own beliefs born of ignorance are what will eventually destroy America.
Here's hoping that you'll decide to stop being part of the problem.

Can Game Companies Learn from Apple?
Comment by: IronsUK
Nominated by: swirldude

The Xbox 360 blades are not difficult for anyone. My cat was sniffing around my controller the other day and before I know it she had started downloading "Small Arms" and had messaged all my friends with "Meow".

More Mass Effect Political Dickery
Comment by: Jmontilla2786
Nominated by: LuisRM

I sometimes wish the banhammer existed for these kind of people....

Hyper Multi-Tap: A Week In Comments
Comment by: Kirbytheslayer: (insert post-commenting name phrase here)
Nominated by: indiemike

My aim is to get onto Multi-Tap by one of my Multi-Tap Comments.

So here is my classic Article:
"Handle Prejudice"

Hello, this is Kotaku Regular KirbytheSlayer
I was recently on Kotaku, and came upon an article regarding a young
man named "xxxGayboyxxx" who went on Xbox Live in Pink Halo 3 armor to
record the bias and hatred directed against homosexuals on gaming
networks.
Inspired by his dark struggles, I decided to attempt a similar
experiment to expose any prejudices that gamers might be holding
inside of them. To do so, on a popular gaming blog, I changed my
username for comments to
"Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, is
heterosexual, enjoys doing absurd things to prove a point, and has a
ridiculously long user name's profile", and posted as usual on the
site for 24 hours.
The results were shocking. I was insulted, demeaned, my ideas were
ignored,many people refused to respect me based off of my merits, but
instead chose to hate me simply because of my username, and some went
as far as demanding that I get my username off of "their" website.
Keep in mind, this was in a small, 24 hour period, on a site reputed
for being tolerable, and I received such horrible bigotry against me.

Here are the comments about me in question(Included in their entirety
for authenticity):

1. BY DAVEKAP AT 10:29 PM

Oh man... and here I am, never wondering if my clothes go together
because I just don't care.

This explains a lot... :(

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...:
Why-the-hell-are-you-making-your-name-so-damn-long-in-order-to-prove-a-point-when-you-could-have-easily-sent-an-e-mail-to-the-webmaster-of-the-site-instead?

2. BY JESSE7150 AT 08:03 PM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: I
just wanter to @ your name.

3. BY CHAINLINK13 AT 08:14 PM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...:
Wasn't that the point of changing your username to a ridiculously long
username? Attention-whore!

4. BY THERETURNOFTHEUFO AT 09:59 PM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: I
wanted to reply to your username simply to see if it would explode the
comment box :]

5. BY VIZION AT 07:15 PM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...:

Pretty sure you're going to have to change your name

6. BY EMERALDDRAGON AT 12:39 AM

Okay, odd...

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...:

I feel as if I am missing something on this one, but I'm not sure I
want to know what it is.

7. BY SPAINLAND AT 01:01 AM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: I
just finished reading the comments, and then i see this, and couldnt
stop laughing

8. BY KUZUBOSHII AT 01:24 AM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: Dude
you have a really long username. Like a silly long, no wait, what is
the word I am looking for? Amazingly long? No, ludicrously long? No,
splendorously long? No, man I can't find the right word to describe
how long your username is. Wait, I know! r-, r-, yes that's it!
Retarded! That's the word I was looking for!

9. BY NIGHTSSTUDIO AT 02:10 AM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...:

What the heck is up with your name?

10. BY FURIOUS_LIVER AT 12:34 AM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: HAY
KIRBYTHESLAYER: IS 16 YEARS OLD, MALE, ENJOYS VIDEO GAMES, IS
HETEROSEXUAL, ENJOYS DOING ABSURD THINGS TO PROVE A POINT, AND HAS A
RIDICULOUSLY LONG USER NAME, I HERD UR ONE OF THOSE DUMBFACES WITH
LONG LOSER NAMES LOLL! R U GONA STUPIDFACE US TO DEATH WIF UR LONG
NAME AND HETEROSEXUALITY LMAO!

11.Y JULIUSMODE AT 02:12 AM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: For
all I know you could still be a 16-year-old heterosexual homicidal
Irish pink blob. And I can't believe I just typed that sentence.

12. BY CEILINGFANBOY AT 10:59 PM

I have a feeling that this may be the beginning of a length limit to
our Kotaku usernames.

13. BY SQWERELL AT 11:19 PM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...:
Long username is looooooooong.

Also, Pachter is the Nostradamus of gaming. Only accurate.

14. BY CLARKE AT 11:31 PM

@Kirbytheslayer: Is 16 years old, male, enjoys video games, ...: I've
seen longer names.

Want to nominate comments? Send to tips any insightful or funny comments you read from other commenters. (Read: NOT YOURSELF). Be sure to include the post's URL, the commenter's page, the actual comment and your commenter page. Failure to include them means we won't either!

Also know: Dip into tool territory and we'll ban yer ass. And quick!

It's been a gang-buster year here in the Kotaku Tower. Sure our traffic's grown, we've played lots of games, been to tons of fun conventions, but the thing that makes me most proud is that Kotaku has the most comments of any of the Gawker sites. That's right, we're even beating the monstrously large Gizmodo in comments. And of course that's all because of you, the reader.

Our techies just dumped a bunch of year-end data in my lap for me to pick through and included in that was a list of Kotaku's most commented on stories. I've listed the top 15 after the jump, not including the contests and Komment King posts.

The Five Most Commented Stories
Black Looks On RE 5 Racism: When Kym Platt posted about the possibility of racism in Resident Evil 5 on her blog Black Looks, it most certainly touched a nerve... actually lots of nerves. It also launched one of the most heated conversations on our site. One that hit some might heights and embarrassing lows while chugging its way to nearly 900 comments.

The E3 2007 Kotaku Fantasy Betting Pool: We don't like to follow the pack here at Kotaku, it just goes against our grain. This year we wanted to do some E3 predictions, but didn't want to be boring.. so set odds to all of our guesses and let readers bet on them. The result? More than 730 votes and lots of fun... including Phil Harrison telling me he was up for a group hug with Peter More and Reggie Fils-Aime.

Jack Sues Kotaku: What can I say, when Jack sues you it's like a badge of honor and the full complaint brought nearly 630 comments.

Sony Blackballs Kotaku (UPDATED): The now famous/infamous Sony Blackballs Kotaku story is pretty well known by now, but despite the happy ending, it was one that involved that stressed us at the most. Both Mike and I spent a very sickening, sweaty-handed afternoon dealing with the immediate repercussions. Thankfully all of the internet seemed to rise up in support, uniting blogs, magazines and even newspapers in something that quickly became about more than just Kotaku and Sony. You, the readers, were first to pat us on the back and say everything would be OK in more than 600 comments, and for that we will always be thankful.

Gamespot Editor Fired Over Kane & Lynch Review?: Really it was Penny-Arcade that broke this story.. with a comic no less. That's right they had the time to illustrate and write the story in the time it took us to write it, but we were a close second. While this final story, which rounds out our top five, turned out to be much more complicated than initial reports, the whole affair raised some important issues about journalism, reviews and video game coverage and kick-started a 550-comment thread.

The Rest
An Apology
Child Beaten to Death by Drunk Teen, Sister Acting Out Game
Bashcraft's 360 Finally Dies (How's Yours?)
Breaking: There Is No Shortage Of Homophobes On Xbox Live
Peter Dille Goes Beserk, Bites Microsoft In Face
Kotaku's Game Club
Who's Going to Lose: HD-DVD, Blu-Ray, or You?
2chan Explains Why Japan Hates Xbox 360
Spike TV Video Game Awards: Winners, Losers and Boozers
Sony Confirms PS3 Price-Cut, 80GB Bundle

Don't forget that you still have two more weeks to try and amass a commenting army to wrest control of the ban hammer from Ash and I.

The top five commenters with the most followers will be in the running to be named the new commenting czar which, along with being able to wield the ban hammer, will pay $200 a month.

Getting the break down is pretty work intensive, but last time we checked Witzbold wasn't just the leader at Kotaku, he actually has the most followers Gawker wide with 188 minions, followed by TheIrishNinja with 77, EnigmaNemesis with 75, PapaBear4 with 66 and dv8godd with 43. Remember it doesn't matter where in the top five you fall, just so you land there, and you still have plenty of time to recruit.

Full rules here.

Having long held the crown for the Gawker site with the most comments, we think it's about time we put someone in charge of keeping things moving along. Fact is, Ash and I are just plain overwhelmed with the effort required to read the comments on all of the posts, activate the deadly banhammer and welcome new commenters into the Kotaku fold. Yes, we still do that manually... one at a time.

So we're on the prowl for a comments moderator of sorts, a gatekeeper to Kotaku Tower, if you will. Someone who will prowl the posts and comments on a daily basis, weeding out the bad, helping out the conversation, anointing new readers and even, occasionally, writing a post or two.

We can only pay $200 a month for your help, but you do get to wield the mighty banhammer and will be given the keys to the commenting gates. If you remain interested, hit the jump for how to apply. Yes, there is a contest (of sorts) involved.

Sorry, I just can't help it. I need to make everything a contest these days. This is how it's going to work. On December 27, we're going to beg our tech geniuses to track down the five Kotaku commenters with the most followers. The top five who want to do this will all then have to explain, in comments, why they should be made the commenting czar. We'll use our own good judgment, and a pinch of public sentiment, to elect the new czar.

There's really no way to get a follower other than by getting other people decide to follow your comments. They do that by logging in and then clicking on the little plus sign symbol next to your comment in a post. Of course your followers will all have to be commenters, so make sure they sign up on the site.

If we catch you cheating we'll kick you out of the contest. So play nice. Don't even attempt to cheat.

You know every time I read something like this, no matter the console my heart dies a little bit. I am a gamer, I have been for most of my natural life. Seeing any one of these companies fail at something I love, sucks...SEGA anyone (among others).
I love games, and the people and companies who make it possible for me to enjoy them. This is not to say I like any of their respective corporate politics or general BS. But at the end of the day no matter how old I get, I will always be that kid who stared in amazement the first time I realized a story and art was no longer confined to film and books. That art could reach out and be experienced in, and on a whole new level.
You may think I'm a sap or am waxing poetic lamenting a loss that has not happened. And in a way I am...somehow we the "hardcore" gamers became so jaded that we have missed the forest for the trees.
/Sorry for the rant

New Wii Gift Feature, But No Price Cut
Comment by hotblack

Not cutting the price on the Wii itself is understandable. Adding the gift feature for the Shop Channel, while cool, is frankly a joke when there are still outstanding problems with the VC:
- Sort out the various PAL release issues
- Lower the cost of Wii Points outside of the US and Japan
- Allow the exact amount of points needed for a purchase to be paid for
- Add a solution for playing downloaded content from SD cards or another storage medium
- Introduce the long awaited Star Points/Wii Points conversion
- Add a mechanism for moving games between consoles
First rule of software development, fix outstanding issues before trying to add features.

Manhunt 2 Could Get Legal Release in UK as Download
Comment by kennyd1

Having some familiarity with this area of law, I really don't think the English Courts would allow them away with that. Just cause an Act doesn't account for the latest distribution methods doesn't mean they're not covered. Words are given updated meanings. For example, a 'telegraph' was interpreted to include a telephone for the purpose of the 1863 Telegraphs Act, despite the fact that the telephone wasn't invented or even dreamed of in 1863! Same is true of video tape being included in the word 'film'. I'm guessing the same thing will happen here. They'll never get away with it!

Bushnell Defines "Pure, Unadulterated Trash" Gaming
Comment by Tulkamir

Unfortunatly for Mr. Bushnell and everyone else out there born with an underdeveloped logic center in their brain, not every game released can be this super innovative new experience. Be great if that were possible, however there are limits on this kind of thing (both on the technological and human sides of it).

Adding to this, games like halo 3 do something argueably equally as important as the vaunted "innovation". They "evolve". Mankind didn't just suddenly one day go "Time to innovate!" and become what we are today. We took time and evolved. This is similar to what most games do. Take pre-exisiting ideas that are well liked and enjoyed, and build on them.

And if he (or anybody) were to actually play halo 3 and doom 1 right after one another he may notice that this evolution has been doing a great job.

Eye of Judgement Cards Copyable
Comment by Witzbold

Since this game is by far more simple than MTG and other card games, its going to cause quite a bit of trouble online when people start popping out the rather perfect combinations.

Not to mention with only a 100 cards its going to be rather easy to figure out what would make a pretty damned good deck. Although since its played on a 3 x 3 grid. I do hope that this new mechanic will fuck over those who do try to cheat and use uber cards.

But it will be quite a battle for other new players to beat these people, therefore possibly driving them away.

While us more hardcore folk "might" have fun trying to fuck over those uber decks by using tactics and such, but still yet. Seeing the same goddamed deck over and over again will make the game boring as shit, as folks have said.

All we can hope for is that the niche community of "honest / non-asshole" players will be strong enough to help drive the "gears" of this game long enough so that it will continue to be supported by sony and WotC.

Personally though, Im still worried. Also the fact that theres no SP story mode makes me rather sad too. Since its either play with the AI or go online. Its unfortunate they didnt have a story mode to go along and teach you, instead of the long video tutorials.

Capcom Exec Defends Okami on Wii
Comment by Ninja-Z

People are complaining about ports on the Wii, but let's face it: the Wii is completely new hardware that may have low development costs, but a hell of a lot of work to ensure that motion control is perfected. Developers aren't going to risk making a completely original game and throwing it out onto the Wii only to have motion controls suck and ruin the title. They're going to experiment with ports, so that if they fail, they can at least avoid losing money and going out of business, learn from their mistakes, and release future titles that show the system for what it is. Granted, what I'm saying may not make it better for the consumer, but ports are a logical business move for developers jumping on the Wii train.

It's nice to see Capcom giving a little more attention to this port, however, because I've never gotten a chance to play Okami. Having it on the Wii would be a perfect chance to play what sounds like an example of gaming at its finest.

This week isn't Hyper Mulit-Tap. It's regular Multi-Tap. For Hyper Multi-Tap, we need more submissions! So send comments you want to nominate to our tips address. Include the comment, the commenter's commneter page and your commenter page.

It's only 45P resolution. It should be at least 72P. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EXTRA LINES??

The Consoles Defined in One Sentence
Comment by bernbaum
Nominated by peteer02

@peteer02:
Wii:
Flail like a moron,
It's really just two gamecubes,
Grandma loves this shit.
360:
White and noisy box,
I hope it doesn't explode,
Please don't hump my corpse
PS3:
Rumble is last gen,
Can I have some games now please?
Oh wait, rumble's back.

Adult Final Fantasy, Chun-Li Cutie, Pac-Man Bra
Comment by Mr. Fap Fap
Nominated by user.error

@xbulletholes:
I would so totally rock that Peach outfit...what with my hairy man-legs and penis and such...

Levine Hasn't Forgotten about DLC
Comment by
Nominated by beeporama

Dear Ken Levine,

I think your game is awesome, will you please be my best friend forever?
Please check one:

yes [ ] no [ ]

Seriously though, Bioshock is great and I can't wait to see what Ken does next, unless 2K just rides the franchise into the ground because they're desperate for dollars.

Strange Girls Would Rather Touch Each Other Than A PSP
Comment by H_Chinaski
Nominated by ach77

I think they just broke up. Bear with me.

Girl on Left: "But, I thought you loved me. We made plans together."

Girl on RIght: "I do love you. But... I have to look to the future now."

Left: "It's someone else, isn't it?"

Right: "No, it's... I've just come to realize, I love my PSP more than I could ever love you."

Left: "... I understand."

Right: "I'll never forget the time we shared. But there's a bright new world out there, a bright new world where I play shitty games and go blind watching movies on a tiny little screen. Goodbye, Charlotte."

I Hate the Ws
Comment by baberg
Nominated by Mischaraka

"I can see the sides already being drawn. Crecente on the LOL side, Plunkett and Bashcraft sticking to their WWWWWs. Soon we'll have a fractured Kotaku - one at www.kotaku.com and the other at lol.kotaku.com. The conflicts will be bloody, and letters will be used in unspeakable ways. Sure, some letters will get away unscathed - Q, Z, X, and most of the punctuation marks will go back to their pre-war lives. But the vowels, oh the vowels, and the vowels' children will watch...
...with their i's"

Bungie Owns Bungie: The Q & A
Comment by the-hypnotoad
Nominated by agies

Having been around my share of software company acquisitions and spin-offs, this is how I'd bet it went down.

The major players at Bungie were probably chafing at having to answer to MS and go through them for everything, and decided they wanted to go out on their own. Obviously they could just leave and start their own new company (it's been done dozens of times).

But frankly, the MS folks are no dummies. To continue to get value from the studio they had dropped a bunch of money on they decided to play ball with the spin-off idea in order to maintain the strength of the Bungie brand. In consideration of this there is almost certainly some kind of agreement about MS exclusively publishing Bungie games for the next X years as well as them continuing to own the Halo IP and franchise.

Bingo, bango - as nearly a perfect separation as you can get in this area where companies, personal ego, and civil lawsuits usually are the rule.

Sin & Punishment
Comment by StartingAces
Nominated by karl_hungus

So would it be rated E if it had everyone's blood in it?

Indie is the New Popular
Comment by fuchikoma
Nominated by TheIrishNinja

It's just like the movie industry, or the comic book industry... indie stuff isn't cool because it's indie. It's cool because the mainstream has failed us on a massive scale and started to churn out derivative tripe - in all three industries. So smaller, less funded studios release something with some originality, and we all flock to it.
Don't be surprised when it happens, but it's entirely possible that some of these big studios will just stop making profits, shrink away and disappear, only to be replaced with these "indie" studios, who will grow in and take their place - and in enough time, grow stale and fail themselves. As long as there is new original stuff coming, it's just part of the cycle.

Hyper Multi-Tap is back! Oh, how we missed you. We know you've had some personal business to attend to, but we're really happy you are back. Hooray!

Also know: Dip into tool territory and we'll ban yer ass. And quick!

We are not content to allow our posts to just fill up with white noise, people posting FIRST! or GAY! or Not NEWS! Despite our proficiency in posts about what I like to call gaming culture (cakes, costumes, pumpkins) we do take our jobs and the topic we cover quite seriously. (And we like to work in a douche-free zone.)

I like nothing more than to hear someone make a smart argument about what an idiot I am. I love to hear thoughtful discourse about what makes one of our opinions totally and completely wrong. Disagreement, when presented thoughtfully, is the best thing that can come from a story written on Kotaku.

And for the most part, our commenters, you men and women, are a thoughtful bunch. You daily pwn me in logic, proving the power of your arguments in amazing posts. Often, and I'm being quite serious, I'm humbled by the thoroughness and thoughtfulness of your comments. Many times the value of a post is far outweighed by the value of the comments made about it.

But those singing comments—that mostly intellectual, funny, zippy tone in our group discussions—doesn't come without some effort on our part. That, my friends, is what the banhammer is all about. Really I should call it a trowel, because we use it not to crush commenters but to weed out trolls and the people who'd like nothing more than to fill the halls of Kotaku Tower with echoes of fanboyism, flamewars and tripe.

So disagree with us, please. Just don't be banal, god forbid, uninteresting.

Kotaku Comments FAQ

Starting tomorrow, Hyper Multi-Tap starts. What is Hyper Multi-Tap? It's like regular old Multi-Tap, but better. Well, better if you make it better. Because we'd like ya'll to submit comments that you think should be in Multi-Tap. You have a say! Here's how it works: Send us the link to the comment thread, along with a link to that commenter's page and a link to your own page. We need ALL THREE THINGS for them to be considered. If not, well, forget it! We'll make selections based on what we receive as well as comments we enjoyed. Bitch about the final selection and feel the brunt end of the hammer.

Can you nominate yourself? Nope! The point is to reward your fellow Kotakuland sisters and brothers. So don' nominate yourself! Commenters who submissions are selected will get linked in Multi-Tap, too. So if you send us a smacking comment, then you'll see a "Submitted by: YOUR NAME" in Multi-Tap. Everyone wins! So send your submissions to our TIPS address, and the best ones will make it into the Friday edition. We're really like to double the size of Multi-Tap. But that really depends on you, now doesn't it?

This week has been awful for those of us who like to pretend that videogaming is not a hobby dominated by 13-year-old boys and the 30-year-old men that think like them. Between this and the two racism threads, it's been like a game discussion struggling to be heard over a Klan rally.

And you know what? I honestly don't think it is that "people posting on the Internet anonymously say things they would never say in real life." After reading all of the comments on all three threads (yes, it's been a slow week at work) I seriously do think that a solid half the posters here are homophobes and/or racists and would be even if I showed up at their houses one by one to give them hugs.

It's depressing and makes me wish I'd latched on to a different pastime that attracts less idiots.

Nintendo Helping Gov't Piracy Raids

And people wonder why Osama Bin Laden hasn't been caught yet.
Yep America, You can go back to bed now. Your Government is working around the clock making sure your kid can't mod his Wii and play all those pirated games.

Totilo Weighs in on RE5 Debate

I think that the idea of shooting people should be uncomfortable if games are to ever evolve into a more meaningful art form. I understand the arcade roots of video games but if you're trying to create more tension and reality then the whole thing should be somewhat alarming. The question is will people buy games that make them uncomfortable?

If a gamer's goal is to only shoot meaningless pixels then why make graphics look real? Many people in the media attack video games by saying that they make killers out of players because they don't attach the violence with reality. In effect games are accused of desensitizing us to real violence. This is video game violence attached to an uncomfortable reality and I applaud it. I hope the future is full of more games that make us look at at the world around us. It's what art is meant to do and if games are ever to be considered art without question then we must embrace it.

If RE5 makes one person look into the reality of poverty and suppression that rules most of the world then it is already a great game... whether it's what the designer's intended or not.

Pachter Blames PS3 for GTAIV Delay

lol, analysts. Just a fancy word for "Guy Who Makes Wild Guesses"

Black Looks on RE 5 Racism

As a zombie I find the entire series racist.

Oh and, Braaaaiiiinnnnsss.

While today is not Ban Monday (bummer), the ban hammer still THIRSTS for blood. Spot grist for the ban mill? Send us your nominations to tips. Help us make your comment reading and our banning experience better.

he's got a real point - rockstar has a huge problem with the fact that they only have one popular franchise and can't seem to get out of it.

In recent years, table tennis was the closest they've got, but really that was a test/demonstration of GTAIV tech. Bully was a commercial failure.

All of Rockstar's other games are forgettable, have mediocre sales, and usually only stand out if they are like Manhunt and just include senseless violence just to attract controversy.

After reading the whole article, it sounds like Rockstar would operate in a much better way if they could run as a small studio separately from Take 2 management and be free to create their own ideas. T2's branding that this guy described was silly and pointless - throwing everyone in a crowded room and assigning them to teams basically randomly doesn't seem like the best organization...or any organization for that matter.

Ten Real Reasons Why MGS4 Is PS3 Only

I don't don't have a horse in this race so to speak, but I find the persistence of this rumor to be amusing. It's even funnier how people are so obsessed with killing it.

Tretton Says Follow Heart, Not Trends

Follow your heart doesn't really apply to the videogame market. You aren't saving the world here. You are trying to make successful games so that you are profitable and can continue to make more games. There are many genres that can be successful. FPS's, RPG's, Puzzlers, and casuals. The casual genre is a legitimate sector now. If you are a small developer and your first game is okami, you might not get to make another game. Yes it can take like 2 years if you are making a game for the PS3.

Molyneux Wants People Beating Fable 2... With One Button

There's a difference between sitting through a 90 minute movie and a 40 hour game.

Even RE4, which is my favorite game from last gen, tired me out. I stopped after disc 1. And of course, everyone tells me I should have kept going, because the game gets really good in disc 2.

JRPGs go on forever. I think many people who finish them (which is a small percentage) do so because they want to see the story, which is revealed mostly through cut scenes. The gameplay just isn't good enough for 60 hours on it's own.

Now I'm not bashing JRPGs... I have yet to see a game that is worth 60 hours.

I think we just need shorter 10-20 hour games with no filler. Pack those 10 hours full of action, drama, and unbelievable effects. Leave out sidequests, grinds, and random encounters.

Code every minute of the game like it matters, and I doubt people will leave them unfinished.

Over Half a Million Ace Combat 6 Downloads

Gamers who will download a free demo of Ace Combat 6 the first week of release = 500,000

Gamers who will pay $60 and buy Ace Combat 6 the first week of release = 50,000

This stat means nothing- everyone downloads free demos of games.

We Just Didn't Expect The Wii to be This Good

Its cheap to develop on, its easy to port ps2 content, and it the only thing you really have to deal with design wise, is getting a stupid controller to work in a manner that doesnt make the user want to shove it up your ass. How hard is that? Why was ubisoft able to get some titles out there, albeit minigames, and the craptastic red steel, but big powerful EA forgot to develop anything in particular?

Come on, even capcom managed to shovel a port of its best game last year to the Wii, and get the waggle to work. To be honest, I would have expected a megaman game before RE4 or okami made it to the wii.

Eds Note: Time to thin the herd! Next Monday is "Ban Monday." That means we will be extra strict about banning. What can get you banned? Trolling, rampant fanboyism and general stupidity. How you can help: Next Monday, send along email lists of fellow commenters you want out. The longer you've been a commenter, the stronger your voice will be regarding who gets nixed. Remember, this is next Monday only. Enjoy!

An Open Letter to Namco:

Having only gotten serious with Soul Calibur with the second game (second in name, not in the series), I've got a few things on my mind.

1) I really hope they fix the game from SCIII, cause they totally broke it in that. Let's have less projectiles, less knock ups, less juggles. Make it as tight as SCII and polished enough that I don't feel like I'm playing a cash-in sequel for a current-gen to next-gen transition.

2) If they're going to keep including characters, at least make them worthwhile. SCIII was too over the top in that area. It was like looking at the latest Mortal Kombat game. We don't need over 40 characters. If we do, let us use the character creator.

3) Please fix Yeung-Sung. His large amount of airborne movement and the fact that you can't string together his stance changes in SCIII totally broke the character.

4) I'm sorry, guys. The RTS mode just didn't work. You're already going to screw around with an SC spin-off in Legends, so how about you just focus on the core game mechanics on the PS3/360?

5) C'mon. Please fix Yeung-Sung. I know I'm the only person in the world who uses him, but I'd really appreciate it if you made some changes to him.

6) And while you're at it, please try and make the Wii SC game fun, cause I don't actually have a 360 or a PS3. Please let it be at least close to a fighting game, ok? It'd be nice if you could really hit this one out of the park and introduce a fun Wii fighting system. It's not likely, but it would be nice.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Soul Calibur Fan

Church Asks Japan To Join The Resistance Fight

I just want to go on the record as supporting the church despite my gamer tag.

While it's really easy to make fun of the CoE, I see this simply as a much larger issue. If people want to argue about Christianity here, go for it. I don't care.

What I do care about is that we are losing a sense of respect. Respect for each other, respect for what we each consider sacred, respect for anything but getting what we want.

Microsoft Defend Xbox Live Pricing

I wish M$ would look at companies like Epic, Blizzard, and Valve. They know that giving away free content only increases the amount of money you make by keeping people interested in your product, increasing the product's life span, and by bringing in new people looking for more game for their $.

New Director for Castlevania Film

I love it when people act like Igarashi's games actually have decent stories.

AMA To Recognize Game Addiction?

I am not embarressed about discussing my previous addiction to alcohol. I was a heavy drinker for the last 4 years. While quittin I suffered a severe withdrawal that inclded mild psychosis and hallucinogenic dillusions.Feeling out of body for that long of a period of time was extremely scary and I do not wis that upon anyone else.

Anyway, I am 24 and have been an avid gamer for a very long time. However, I think that game addiction as an actual threatening circumsatnce is pretty ridiculous. It is esssentially a hobby. Rather than watching television shows hours on end, why is is an actual problem for people to enjoy gaming. Some take up sports others fishing, etc. i do not think gaming is a problem unless it severely hinders your ability to properly function in society, i.e. going to clas , socializing.

Befriending The Banned

To be truthful, I never tried to be a dick in my time as "Papabear." I would poke fun every so often, making fun of a system or a game. But since I spread my criticism and joking around all the systems, I thought I was ok, and understood that I did not, in fact, have any undue hate toward one console or another.

I have not made any secret about my preference to the PS3 despite my owning of all the new-gen systems at one point in this generation. And as that can be a pretty unpopular position on the internet these days. I have been accused of being a troll and a "fanboy," ironically not always with the Playstation (I've been accused twice on this site already of being a Wii fanboy, of all things.)

I think that's the biggest issue. Folks are to quick to judge anyone who disagrees with them as a fanboy or a troll when it comes to consoles. A "obviously I am right, everyone knows th at, so this guy must just be a troll or a paid plant from *blank*" mentality is to prevelant anymore. You make a joke, or make a counter point, or anything of that nature, and you have a likelihood of being accused of being something you're not. And in Kotaku's case, you have the chance of that person misjudging your intentions putting your name into the banning rotation.

Not saying that's what happened with me, however. I am not excusing myself. If I got banned for the incident I am thinking of, I let my composure slip and let a legitimate troll get the best of me. Though we did make nice and actually started joking with each other, we did let our disagreement spill over into other threads annoying everyone around us.

But I think I have seen more times that not people being accused of such trollish activity, and it's not beyond my realm of imagination that some of those accusers wouldn't hesitate to direct the indiscriminate ban-cannon their way.

Stringer Looking To Refine PS3 Costs

Why would we wait for Pachter? Aren't we reading that fancy Playstation blog now? Let sir Howard casually post about it on there.

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Preemptive strike:

Halo 3 sucks
Halo 3 is overrated
Halo 3 rocks
Xbox 360 sucks
PC games are better
Resistance is better
Bungie makes more promises it can't keep
Halo 3 will sell faster than my antique pen collection on ebay

The Truth Behind The Xbox Boys

This is like an onion article, but it's real. Good stuff.

Ubisoft: Sorry About Those Shitty Wii Games

Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 and My word Coach have gotten a lot of praise. Also from what has been said about Red Steel 2 and considering what the dev team managed to do on such a rush job despite no expierence on fps games much less a whole new control scheme I think Ubisoft will vastly redeem itself.

Quite a lot of people that devoted more then a few hours grew to love Red Steel. Quite a few games people dismissed just after the first hour later on grew to love the game after spending more time with it. Killer 7 had it's haters give up on the game after just an hour or two as well.

EA devoted whole studios to the Wii and DS. They like Ubi smelled that the wii would bring a lot of money to them. Ubi being smaller rushed the games making them suffer.

The Red Steel team did a far more competant game then a lot of supposedly elite game dev teams have done. They put a lot of effort into it and once refined the game ideas, concepts can be made into a far better game.

As for EA I guess people haven't seen Boogie or the other original EA wii games that are coming out. EA is also looking to make the Wii versions of games often the most fun to play.

Heroic Gamer Takes A Bullet

His CS gaming instinct probably took over and told him two things:

(1) Sometimes, rushing superior odds catches them by surprise and turn the odds to your favor

(2) If the above doesn't work, you can just respawn

Fad Or Forever: Does The Wii Have Legs?

Uh-huh, because, y'know, the only things the Wii has are mini-games. P-lease. And if mini-games are the only games that take up the majority of the library, who's fault is that? Developers, especially third-party developers, could've made so many games that would entice the same people who find the Playstations and Xboxes so appetizing. Instead, such people are hard pressed, at least early on, to find any third-party games they'd like on the Wii. As such they looked toward the other system and see so much more titles they'd want, but noticeably, none of those make it on the Wii. It's the same with the Cube for the most part. And now all you get are excuses why Burnout 3 never went to the Cube ("online-centric" my ass), or that Silent Hill isn't something Nintendo fans would play because "the general opinion is that Wii is for family games...and I'm sure the fans don't play Silent Hill with their grandma."

Excuse, excuses, lousy efforts, more excuses, and self-fulfilling prophecies. Spare me. How are Nintendo fans suppose to play games (i.e. FF, MGS, SH, KH, DQ, Ninja Gaiden, etc.) they want when they can't get them in the first place. And then developers are gonna tell us that the fans of those games are on systems like the PS3? Well, no duh. And if you put a life sustaining atmosphere on one planet vs. the other, life happens to thrive... where?

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Nononono. Nooo.

He's mistaken.

I'm a real gamer and I want good games. That's it. It isn't about consoles, it's about good games.

New York Game Law Passes Senate

You know, I'm really tired of ignorant gamers complaining about how oppressed we are in the US. Bullhonky. The US has the least amount of gaming restrictions in the world. Even the ratings aren't (currently) legally mandated.

Meanwhile, parts of Japan have outlawed sales of Grand Theft Auto. Yea, they still sell h-games. That doesn't change the fact that America has not banned the sale of any games and Japan has and will if they see fit.

The New York law is silly and a waste of taxpayer dollars that was clearly designed so the people championing it could appear to care about "the family" as election day draws near. And don't forget a certain New York Senator is running for office and has no qualms with tearing up video games for cheap political points.

Disney Afraid DS Can Pirate New Pirate Movie

Pretty much any big movie preview or premiere in LA bans all electronic devices including cell phones. This isn't new. I remember going to an early screening of one of the matrix movies and dealing with this. Usually they give you a little plastic bag and you can check all your electronics devices so you don't need to go back to your car. There is also a metal detector to find things you may have hidden. I saw the last Star Wars movie at a special FOX screening a few weeks early and it took about an hour to get in just because of security.

The reason I've been given by people running the events (not the hired security itself) is that they will remove anyone with a visible screen during the movie. A lot of times someone will scan the crowd w/ a night vision camera looking for the bright light of a display or screen. (I've seen this happen) While they know something like a DS can not record, once the film begins, it is too disruptive to stop and ask questions. Rather than sort it out in the midst, they just remove everything from the start.

These days most people I know who score tix to these types of things in my neck of the woods are well aware of these policies and just leave everything at home or in the car to avoid the hassles.

Blizzard Makes Boy's Dream Come True

Good story. Father and Son bonding really is the end, throwing a baseball in the front yard (or WoW in this case) is just the means to the end.

At the same time, I don't know if this would be my wish. I'm not a 5th grader but at the same time maybe I should be. No single wish could ever make up for everything a life should be or is. Skydiving over the Ivory Coast, eating 100lbs of chocolate while Iron Maiden plays my theme song on stage or other decadent fantasies can't completely pay the reality debt. Pippin (the musical) never was happy doing one single thing.

But all of this is moot because Blizzard is at least trying to make someone's life better and succeeded. It's not about curing cancer. It's about improvement and symbolism. I enjoyed the bit about the Phoenix themed armor he got (his middle name) and the allusion to rebirth.

Splinter Cell Conviction Impressions

Urgh, this is not splinter cell. This is 'homeless man attacks!!

Give sam his gear back, his gadgets and have him sneaking around stealing stuff, like he used to, he enjoyed that, it was great. Don't make him a homeless guy kicking the shit out of people, its not sams way to be unnessarily aggressive. Its also not his way to blend in with people, sam works alone! Why blend in? when you could sneak around all cool like.

I don't like the look of it. Based on these very short videos. It seems like it may aswell be a completely different game. Doesn't seem slinter celly at all.

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The PS3 technology is 'advanced' now, and Sony thinks they can be 'in this for the long run', but they're going to be in for a rude awakening when in a few years time when they may actually start catching up in the war their technology will be old news, and Microsoft and Nintendo will be poised in the position to develop consoles with technology that out-does the PS3's 'advanced then' technology

You can't be 'in it for the long run' when technology is advancing at the rate it is, the PS3 won't be advanced in 10 years when Microsoft and Nintendo could release new consoles with current technology that makes the PS3 look like a chump

'10 years' will be too little too late for the PS3, Microsoft and Nintendo will force Sony's hand and the PS3 won't have to time to 'catch up'

Rumor: Halo 3, September 25th, 2007

When is the last time a Halo 3 rumor has turned out to be true?

PlayStation Biz Almost Posted $2 Billion Loss

It's not over til it's over. All console wars drag out over the life of the system. Sony is hoping Blu-Ray and a host of games turn the situation around.

Still, it must hurt to have the PS2 doing so well, not to mention their competitors' systems.

Halo 3 Crackdown Beta Delay

Im sure this pisses off a lot of people who called in sick.

Early Look at Hitman Movie

Bald head with barcode tattoo. The ultimate way for a furtive hitman to remain incognito.

With Stupid: PGR Used In PS3 Promotion... Again.

Yeah, I guess Sony is causing global warming, war in the middle east, and is totally responsible for 8-year-old Timothy O'Malley skinning his knee after falling from his bike in a suburb of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

C'mon. This was a stupid move by a crappy car company running [in] a Spanish-language country.

I have NO idea how this can be Sony's fault... and I doubt their marketing division was contacted any more than Microsoft is contacted for the "Swat the Fly and win a 360" banner ads.

As for the GTHD complaints... yeah, it's a free demo. Let's keep comparing it to a full game because THAT makes sense.

Kia sucks, their cars suck, and their commericals suck. Let's move on.

Impressions: Lair Still Not Winning Me Over

@crecente: you're not a professional commenter, are you?

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I am a barred attorney in Florida, albeit not practicing in Florida at the moment (and am in fact somewhat slumming in the D.C. area right now). I've been a longtime Kotaku reader and have more or less been putting off "coming out of the closet" about being an attorney due to not wanting to sound like a know-it-all jackass. However, while J.T. has been stupid in the past, any attorney in their right mind can look at J.T.'s actions as of late and wonder what the hell he's thinking.

Most law schools make you take a course called "Professional Responsibility." There are really only two lessons to be drawn from this class:

1. Be honest
2. Never piss off the Bar

Of course the two play into one another, and not being honest to the bar is THE cardinal sin. However, with humility and proof of reconciliation, even former cocaine dealers can become licensed attorneys. Lie about a parking ticket and your bar application will be denied. The world is full of jerky lawyers, and if you give the Bar any reason to believe you're one of them, they will come down on you.

That said, J.T. has gone above and beyond violating the second rule, and in the worst manner possible. The last thing the Bar wants is for a lawyer to misinterpret the role of the courts, namely, as a venue of last resort to decide cases and controversies. If you have a socio-political point to make, the right place to make it is in the political sphere, NOT by bringing frivolous suits. Frivolous suits --> to pissed off legislators --> tort reform/generally making the job pool smaller for all attorneys.

In other words: J.T. isn't making life easier for anyone right now, least of all himself. It'd be one thing if he had a crazy client; the fact that he's doing all this on his own behalf is just stupid. I will be incredibly surprised if he is still licensed by this time next year.

Nintendo Financial Results Q&A: Iwata's Cranky Pants

honestly, i dont see how his comments about selling more copies of brain age are comforting for his employees. they are making them money hand over fist, and he is cracking the whip harder.

i imagine he is trying to create friendly competitive rivalry between regions, but he comes off like the worst type of manager to work for.

all managers can get like this, but this almost comes off like the nintendo of old. be careful of who you give power to.

Making Games More Accessible

Seriously makes you think. I wish "the people in power" would start considering disabled gamers while launching thir games, for instance, how hard is to add a hearing-impaired subtitles option to a game?

I was a bit sad to witness how little of an audience was at the GDC "acessability idol", but I know that if I was there, I would probably be too dazzled at the the rest to even notice... so I guess theres not only something wrong with game developers, but possibly with the fact we as gamers are not aware of the challenges of disabled gamers, thus, are not pressuring enought the game (and hardware) developers to start re-thinking the way they make their stuff acessible.

For a "better, more acessible videogaming world"...scratch that, for "a better world".

Denis Dyack: Less Game is More

It's highly subjective. I think just reducing it down to a question of "length" is oversimplifying the issue.

I'm about 160 hours into Oblivion and still near the beginning of the main storyline, yet I haven't lost interest. Then again, I've played JRPGs, a genre I typically enjoy, that aim for a much lower time requirement and been bored within a few hours.

It's less a matter of "how many" hours to me as it is a matter of "how those hours are spent". For example: I don't mind taking time to "level up", as long as that process is not exceedingly repetitive and boring. Oblivion doesn't bother me when leveling up because there's so much content to absorb, whereas some JPRGs you'd just end up running back and forth on a single map and hitting random encounter after random encounter. It's the same goal in each... but the entertainment factor involved is very different between the two.

If a game provides a satisfying experience in less time, I'm fine with that... I don't see the sense AT ALL in spending my cash according to some ratio of "hours to dollars". Sure I want more for my money, but "more" doesn't start and stop with gameplay time. I'll take gameplay "quality" over "time" any day.

Certainly I have less time than I'd like to play... but I could just as easily occupy myself with a 200 hour game that didn't lose my interest as I could with a dozen 20 hour games that did the same... when taken over time.

The problem is more that so many games that aim for a high hour mark do so at the expense of keeping the game enjoyable.