Poor Uwe Boll. Not only is he unnaturally short, he is also a rotten filmmaker. The "director" recently try to eBay a role in his Far Cry adaptation. Bidding started at €2,498 (US $3,360). Not did the winner get five days on the set with Uwe, he or she would also have to cover things like the flight and the hotel. Any takers? No, it seems. The idea that Uwe thinks people would pay to be in his movies, let alone watch them, is HILARIOUS. Brian Ashcraft

Boll's Aution [eBay Thanks, Sebastian!]

During intermission, [Something Awful's] Kyanka does an interview with streaming site Wavelit.com. He's trying to be self-deprecating — he knows the matches will live forever on YouTube — but is too furious to laugh it all off. 'He said he wouldn't hit me really hard!' Lowtax fumes, rubbing his head. 'I hate him as a human being! This event is a combination of PR and BS!'

Meanwhile, [Ain't It Cool News'] Sneider is taking advantage of the country's socialized health care. As two EMS workers tend to him, he occasionally removes his oxygen mask to vomit. As the intermission ends, the director emerges from the dressing room, looking serene. Kyanka points to Sneider's sickly puddle. 'Look what you did!' he snaps. Boll glances back, bemused. 'It was boxing,' he deadpans. 'Not chess.'

Zing! Man, if Uwe could make movies like he beats up internet geeks, he'd be Steven Spielberg. Instead he'll have to be content with being Uwe Boll: Director of horrible films, chowderhead supreme. Brian Ashcraft

Raging Boll [Wired]

No, chowderhead filmmaker Uwe Boll has not been kidnapped by terrorists. Unfortunately. The above pic is from his upcoming adaptation of Postal—a movie that even Gary Coleman apparently has turned down! (But, that sadly News Radio's Dave Foley and John Cassavetes mainstay, Seymour Cassel have not.) There are a handful of pictures of the film, which will probably suck. But, this looks to be so over the top it could be a good kind of suck. Like Chowderhead's masterwork.

Hit the jump for a pic of Uwe in lederhosen with Mini Me and a penis doll. No joke! Brian Ashcraft

Wow, Just Wow [Bollfans via 1Up]

Chowderhead "filmmaker" Uwe Boll recently confirmed that he will inflict visual pain on the world once again by making yet another movie based on the video game BloodRayne, so expect an official announcement soon. The prequel hit theaters last year and sucked. The end. Since the box office disaster that was the previous BloodRayne film, Chowderhead has spent his time beating up overweight internet geeks to prove he isn't a crappy director, but rather a small, insecure jerk. Hey Uwe, your movies are still rotten camp, and the intertubes still hates you. Brian Ashcraft

Uwe Is A Doo-Doo and Is Making Another Bad Movie [Eurogamer]